- How are you gentlemen?
- We learned manners from a young age.
- Good, you?
- Gentlemen, welcome to Dubai.
- Gentlemen, we're burning sunshine here!
- MY ANKLE HURTS!
- Can it, tinhead.
- I WILL *NOT* QUOTE ZERO WING!
- Manners. Maketh. Man.
- Why is all my base belong to you?
- Because you're a stock broker - live with it.
- Because all your alkaline chemicals got stolen.
- To accelerate my conquest for your realm!
- So I can turn the entire human populace into Things and rule this planet for myself.
- What is a man?
- Okay, first, get a mirror. Second, look inside of it. That is a man. It can't be a woman because There Are No Girls on the Internet.
- But Drac's asking it and he doesn't appear in a mirror.
- He's no man! He's a... space station! ...Vampire, you dolt.
- No, he IS a space station, NOT a vampire!
- Linkara is a man! And a half!
- A BERSERKER-PACKING man-and-a-half?
- He tried that once. He got stuck.
- Homestuck?
- A mirror's one single job is to accurately reflect what's in front of it and this one is sure as hell not doing that.
- The capacity to ponder your existence. That is the essence of the human soul. (It's too bad Drac never thought to consult his closest source.)
- He must be swift as the coursing river!
- With all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
- Water, 35 litres. Carbon, 20 kg. Ammonia, 4 litres. Lime, 1.5 kg. Phosphorus, 800 g. Salt, 250 g. Niter, 100 g. Sulphur, 80 g. Fluorine, 7.5 g. Iron, 5 g. Silicon 3 g. And fifteen other elements. Those are the elements to make an average adult human body.
- Ammonia, lime, water, salt and nitre aren't elements!
- 5 litres of human blood, 206 bones, a skull, a human brain (embedded in skull), a layer of skin (being worn), two eyes (embedded in skull), a tongue, a stomach (half-full), a digestive tract, a rectum (full), a bladder (half-empty), a liver, a kidney (worth 500 zorkmids), another kidney (in use), two lungs (in use), a human heart (in use), a spleen (unventilated), some genitals, 412 human hairs (being worn), a song (embedded in heart), a smile (embedded in skull), 9 hopes, 12 dreams, 14 regrets, 99 problems, 17 fears, 5 ounces of darkness (embedded in heart) and a consciousness (not in use).
- Wait... Nitre + sulphur...
- Sodium Chloride would like a word with you.
- It's white like coriander seed and tastes like wafers made with honey.
- *Throws wine glass*
- a roomba picks it up
- A miserable pile of BUUUUUULLSHIT!
- What is a Senpai?! Just a miserable little pile of heartbreak!
- If he's not your man, and he's not our man, whose man is he?
- All mankind is scum — and bee-yoo-ti-ful!
- A quintessence of dust.
- A man is a featherless biped.
- The Man? Oh, you don't know the Man? Well, he's everywhere; the White House, down the hall, Miss Mullins, she's the Man! And the Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank, OK?! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man, it was called rock 'n roll. But guess what? Oh, no, the Man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool, or pure, or awesome, 'cause the Man's just gonna call you a fat, washed-up loser and crush your soul, so do yourselves a favor and just give up!
- What could ''paws''-ibly go wrong?!
- Have you seen yourself in three dimensions lately?
- Nothing! Nothing Can Stop Us Now!!
- Who are you callin' "nothing"?!
- Nobody. I meant to say that my prophecies are inevitable, you stupid idiot. And things will all go according to plan, in the way I intended it. In English: You Can't Fight Fate.
- Don't say that!
- This.
- Everything. Forever.
- Houston, we have a problem....
- Classic tee-up!
- Anything.
- What couldn't?
- I dunno. You seem pretty fine with the title "Cheese Wheels of Doom". What I mean is that EVERYTHING COULD GO WRONG!
- Nothing can go wrong! *crash* OH NO! IT ALL WENT WRONG!
- Dammit, this happens every time I get cocky! Someone like this comes along and I wish I hadn't said a lot of things that I did.
- You don't know the depths of what could go wrong, Bubsy! You sit on your fucking ivory tower of naiveté and joy and happiness! You are blissfully unaware of the dangers and the injustices of this world!
- Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
- What can change the nature of a man?
- ...A whole lot of random stuff?
- Mind control?
- An explosion.
- Anything that could kill him.
- All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.
- Simple. Character Development.
- Love.
- Wololololo.
- The revelation that a man is a miserable little pile of secrets, perhaps?
- Who is Atlas?
- Some Irish dude who isn't even Irish.
- Would you kindly?
- No.
- Someone you've never heard of.
- P-Body's partner.
- The Titan who holds up the sky.
- I’ll do you one better! WHY is Atlas?
- This game company that gets off on our tears.
- A big stompy 100-ton Inner Sphere war machine.
- Atlas? She's the biomatch for Model F.
- Hey, wasn't his name Daichi?
- (shrugs)
- A plumbing company.
- This is Atlas, the brawler, the strong.
Moving mountains is no easy task, Tenno. Atlas endures. - I pity the fool.
- Why do you need Konami Original Songs?
- Because otherwise the game would be infused with even more terrible pop songs than it is now.
- Rule 269 was violated: My character cannot hear the soundtrack.
- Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego
- Behind you.
- Somewhere in the world.
- Dating Waldo.
- Oh, you know, stealing something improbable or impossible. Again.
- I think this time, she took the road less traveled by!
- California. Specifically, San Diego.
- Don't you mean "Where in time is Carmen Sandiego?"
- Yeah, I'll do you one better; Who is Carmen Sandiego?
- I'll do YOU one better — WHY is Carmen Sandiego?!
- Nobody ever asks HOW is Carmen Sandiego…
- I AM Carmen Sandiego.
- Y'think youz can sneek about wifout me boyz seein' ya?
- Well, it would be stupid to say yes, now.
- Maybe you ought to have painted yourself purple?
- That's what the box is for.
- That is a decoy. The fellow to your left - *dramatic pause* - IS A SPY!
- Well, if I get seen, I'm obviously not being very sneaky, now am I?
- I knew I should have recharged my Somebody Else's Problem Field last night.
- Are you trying to enact something you saw in a video game?
- Hey, they're asleep. So stay quiet and move slowly.
OKAY!
WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?! BE QUIET!!! - Stop! We can't let Eggman know we're here!
- Lets just say that walruses trained in ballroom dance wasn't the most non-suspicious distraction.
- "I will have to use stealth instead" said L and jumped in the broken window screaming.
- Here's some key phrases from the 'Surreptitious Entry Heist Manual': Be the breeze. *KLANG* Light as a feather. *CRASH BONG* The footfall of a kitten. *KRASH KLANGKING BOM CRASHSHSHSHSH*
- With Catlike Tread, (CLASH)
upon our prey we steal! (CLASH)
In silence dread, (CLASH)
our cautious way we feel! (CLASH)
No sound at all, (CLASH)
we never speak a word, (CLASH)
a fly's footfall would be distinctly heard! - DON'T WORRY, DEARIE! GRANDMA KNOWS HOW TO STAY QUIET!
- Yes, we can!
- Tell me everything about the Riddler!
- Well, he's pathologically obsessed with riddles, and commits crimes to get Batman's attention and therefore get Batman to solve said riddles, due to Batman being the only one he feels he can match wits with. He dresses in green clothes covered in black question marks, and a green bowler hat, sometimes accentuating things with a question mark topped cane. One of Batman's less overtly harmful or homicidal criminals, to the extent that he's gone straight in the past.
- I don't know everything about the Riddler. If you need more info, ask that last guy. He seems pretty knowledgeable on the subject.
- Sorry, that has to be in the form of a question.
- Everything about the Riddler.
- He is brilliant. He is deadly. And he is still surrounded by frickin' idiots.
- If you can be a god, then what shall we call Galactus?
- Umm, Galactus?
- The final boss.
- Not a god.
- A glutton.
- Why do you laugh in the face of your own destruction?
- Because you've got a ridiculous purple helmet and your eyes look like Bejeweled pieces.
- Deadpool laughs at who he likes.
- People suffering... People hurting... People dying... It's all so fucking hysterical! Laugh. Laugh with me!
- This is wonderful, it's funny; the fact that we are dying.
- Are you satisfied? I've laughed myself to...*
- Dead.
- A monosaccharide.
- My next victim.
- What am I fighting for?
- Your right to party.
- Companion Cube
- A better voice actor.
- Just surrender and it won't hurt at all.
- EXP?
- My Friends!
- For the Krusty Krab!
- BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TOOOOOOO!
- The new order.. or the old order... depends on who you think is king.. or you can just fight for the sake of fighting...
- For the Lulz, that's what.
- It's more fun to do it For the Evulz.
- For the Users.
- Most nights, I don't know anymore...
- One, two, three . . .
- A girl.
- Heheh, you know, it's funny. I don't even remember anymore...
- ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
- I was stupid... so stupid!
- Hahahaha, oh my god, no! Could you imagine, two years and that's what I give you?! Man, that'd be unsatisfying!
- To save my friends. And by "save", I mean "blow the fucking crap out of them".
- First person to start shooting at random gets a cupcake.
- Fight for the future.
- ME FIGHT FOR LIES, INJUSTICE, AMERICAN WAY!
- To save the world… for cake.
- We must fight — to run away.
- A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained. Step over to a board and make your mark! Show us how foolish you truly are!
- Who knows? Let's get brunch!
- The answer lies in the heart of the battle.
- To get the Golden Ending
- Why Spike?
- 100% Completion.
- For my personal benefit of being able to easily rule over 100 billion trillion universes.
- You know it's true. Everything I do...I do it for you.
- What the hell is a funyarinpa?
- It's a noun.
- According to online translators, it's nodes and poop.
- Strange is your language, and I have no decoder.
- Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?
- I'm pretty sure he can handle himself.
- He's a bad enough president to save dudes using burning American freedom.
- If it's the only way to pay for all my crimes, then yes.
- I'm bad. Why would I want to do something good like save him?
- You know I'm bad, I'm bad...
- Only if you're on the hero mission.
- He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
- If you are, you'll face me - Captain Kalaw!
- I'm pretty sure he can handle himself.
- Are you toon enough?!
- No.
- YES!
- Hold on, let me pull this anvil from behind myself and drop it on my head. If I survive, albeit in an accordianesque form, then yes. Yes, I am.
- Maybe, depends on who's asking
- Look out below!
- I am the very model of a cartoon individual, my animation's comical, unusual and whimsical...
- How are we going to find the princess with the power going out?
- The same way you always do.
- Let me light your way, sir. You just fell into my trap!
- I can't see a thing, but it's around somewhere!
- I'll look and she is...here!
- Hello, do you want to play with me?
- FUCK YES. Bring It! *Hides in impenetrable bunker*
- No. You're creepy.
- How good are you? 'Cause if you're a professional player or something then I'm just wasting my time.
- Is it going to be hide and seek, or good guys and bad guys?
- I want to play a game.
- No items, Fox only, Final Destination.
- I didn't come here to play; I came to win. Now let's play.
- Nah! No fun playin' with cheat-ahs!
- Let's play, everyone... Let's. All. PLAY.
- Absolutely. Go get him, Frank!
- Whoa whoa whoa — you want me to go up against HIM? He's gonna kill me!
- This game is gay! I'm not going to play! I'm going to ragequit like a little skunk!
- I wanna quit, want to log off, I'm not having any fun!
- No, but Emily Wants To Play.
- Let's play "Toss the H-Bomb!"
- Oh, I forgot. You're broken. I don't wanna play with you anymore.
- Can a cyclone beat a hurricane?
- Depends on the difficulty setting.
- Given that they're largely pretty similar, both weather patterns are unlikely to exist in a conflicting environment at once.
- Judging by the results of the fight, yes.
- Can a hurricane beat a DOUBLE TYPHOON?
- You see a hurricane coming, you get out of the way. But when you're in a Jaeger, suddenly you can finally fight the hurricane. You can win.
- Knuckles can't.
- Cyclones, hurricanes, typhoons...they're all the same.
- Feeling claw-strophobic?
- Nah, just trying to keep my head on straight.
- I dunno, Bubsy, am I?
- My mood is not your concern!
- Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?
- I got told off for doing that.
- Hey man I'll try anything once, but I don't know, that sounds uncomfortable.
- They triple dog dared me!
- Now that's just rude. What are they trying to do? Ruin my boots?
- Are you a boy, or a girl? Won't you please tell me?
- No. 'Cause I'm a robot.
- Unless you're an android, and should be destroyed!
- Why don't you guess, dumbass? You can see me clearly, right?
- No, I'm legally blind.
- I'm a child of the wind.
- I'm just a SWEET! TRANSVETITE!
- I am.
- At least, I think so.
- I AM THE TABLE!!!
- Even if I wasn't a girl... would you still like me?
- Say, are you, uhh... I really don't know how to say it... Might you be... A boy?
- Could it be a car?
- Neither.
- She is not Rachem.
- I am lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender.
- Male... female... what's the difference? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!
- No. 'Cause I'm a robot.
- Do you want to hear what I said again?
- No!
- Actually, I think I missed some of it. Yes please.
- NO! I mean... Heh.
- I think I got it, but just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening.
- Do you know about timed hits?
- This is gonna be a tutorial, isn't it?
- No, but I know about One-Hit Wonders.
- He Knows About Timed Hits.
- Where did you learn to fly?
- Vermillion City.
- Bob-Omb Battlefield.
- Running away from Agrajag.
- When the volcano blew.
- Neverland.
- Playing Orbiter.
- Where did you learn to be an asshole?!
- Well I started out down a dirty road, Started out all alone, And the sun went down as I crossed the hill, And the town lit up, the world got still...
- Right after I swam across an entire ocean.
- I searched and I searched as I climbed up the wall. And then I started to fly, I went in deeper!
- Sunrise Spring.
- Treasure Trove Cove.
- Don't you understand? With gravity slain, now we can fly!
- Me teach you how fly.
- I fly, you don't. I win.
- Kill the dragon? With what, your bare hands?
- Yes.*
- It works for Mario.
- No, with Ice, Fairy or its own Dragon powers.
- Maybe some anti-Pyrrhian weapon
- No, silly! You kill dragons by shouting at them!
- Actually, I was thinking of using the Dragonslayer Greatbow.
- What element is it weak to? I have this weapon I made out of another dragon I could use...
- No, I'm just gonna stare at it until it starts crying.
- I'd rather trick the dragon into swallowing a shrunken dire porcupine and then ending the spell while he swallows.
- A dragon is no match for my pneumatic fists.
- With the Glorious Chainsaw Method: Make your swords become like things unto chainsaws.
- Damn straight.
- Rip and tear! Rip and tear its guts!
- My fists are made of steel.
- How's an honest warmonger supposed to make a living?
- Warmongering? Marauding?
- Rule of Acquisition #34: War is good for business.
- Meet my friend, the Warmonger!
- Anyone ever miss those talks we had on the elevators?
- No. Geez, those were dull.
- I never understood why you kept wanting to speak on the subject of the elevators in the first place.
- Well, they were strictly better than a minute-and-a-half of dead silence.
- No. Especially when I had to put up with the sushi delivery guy.
- When the guy with a star symbol said "Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?", I knew I should have taken the stairs...
- I remembered the girl. We'd had a problem with her in the elevator. My attorney had made a fool of himself.
- Well, I don't miss a thing.
- Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?
- No, never saw one. Hey, speaking of which, I think someone's making fun of you behind your back. Literally. Seriously, turn around.
- Three, actually. Doesn't mean they didn't just send a team full of Spies at us again...
- Or they could have had the Dead Ringer.
- That's the Pyro's job.
- No. The alarm went off, I came straight here. Did you kill one?
- No? Then we still have a problem. *Lays down a BLU Sniper's corpse with a knife in his back*
- I think I saw one c---
- Are you lying to me? YOU WERE THE RED SPY ALL ALONG!
- What's for dinner, Cookie?
- Liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.
- I wonder what's for dinner...
- I sure hope your food is better than the last cook's. Last cook's food could kill a man's dog.
- Hamburgers, steaks, hot dogs, humans, anything with meat.
- I got grapes, now they're raisins. I got bread, now it's just a brick.
- I'm gonna have ten more Big Macs, and then I'm gonna need another bucket of McNuggets, and then I want one of your Oreo McFlurrys, and I want you to put that on a McRib. Okay? Now let see—Oh my God, they've got holiday pies.
- Coooookieees!
- No, you moron! Cereal!
- Cookies need love like everything does.
- Your cookies... have my love nectar mixed into the dough!
- C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...
- You... YOU WILL NOT BE HUNGRY... but I will...
- Demand for food!
- Baby! It's what's for dinner!
- I'd like a large Atomic Shake and a double Brahmin burger. And easy on the agave sauce this time.
- I want something TAAAAAAAASTYYYYYYY!!!
- We been eatin' nothing but maggoty bread for THREE STINKIN' DAYS!
- LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!
- Ah, my dear offspring... Eat and devour these savory dishes!!!
- "Oh, yeah. I thought we'd start off with soup and a light salad, and then see how we feel after that." "Not the dinner. You know..." "Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That pois-?" "Yes! That poison!"
- A Grue.
- Yeah, so for dinner tonight, I'm thinking spaghetti...
- Soylent Green
- I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
- Would you settle for me sausage?
- I'd make myself a snack... BUT THERE'S NO TIME!
- Who's up for Brock Crotch Steeeew?
- Try our new pork sandwich. It's hamtastic!
- I hope you guys love cock-sandwiches, because we're going to be eating them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
- I'm making fucking mac and cheese, AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!
- We can get fries under dark stormy skies and blow the thunder and lightning away.
- There are so many things to make! A custard soup, a liver cake, a curry pie with prunes and squash, how 'bout Leftovers Goulash?
- Fish pork-a-roni a la Simpson!
- I eat jalapenos every day. It's what's for dinner.
- I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.
- I'm gonna make some hedgehog stew in the afternoon!
- They're called 'meatloafs', and they come in different flavors, like bacon, ham, pepperoni, and even chocolate chip!
- Hundred-year-old bread! Phony bologna! And this one is my favorite: rock soup!
- We're keeping it a surprise until it's done. ...I mean, by the time we're finished, it might be something else entirely.
- What's for dinner? Chicken and chips.
- You are, stupid.
- Two words: Beef. Bourguignon.
- Spaghetti! Spaghetti? Spaghetti!? Spaghetti?!? Spaghetti!?!? Spaghetti?!?!? Spaghetti!?!?!? Spaghetti?!?!?!?
- Walnuts, peanuts, pineapples, grapes, melons, oranges and DONKEY KONG'S DONG!
- Herba Mystica sandwiches?
- I AM GOING TO MAKE THE SEXIEST OMELETTE EVER!
- A single bean on a plate.
- Spaghetti and things... It's a dish I make called "Things."
- Soupestroni!
- It's your favorite! I'm just cooking up your... COCK AND BALLS, YOU CHEATING BASTARD!
- ANIME'S REAL, RIGHT?!?!
- By definition, Dragon Ball Z had a terrible live-action remake, so yeah. Yeah, anime's real.
- I have seen some with my own eyes. Yes.
- It's called Japanimation! ...Least it was last time I checked... which was 1987.
- *blows up a mountain with a laser made from The Power of Love* You tell me...
- Oh my god, they're in our world. F*ck!! I should have known this was coming, but somehow I didn't. Goddammit.
- "Konichiwa!" (Hello) *closes door* "ANIME HAS COME TO LIFE! WE'RE DOOMED!" *runs away* "Baka." (Jerk/Idiot)
- If it is, then why aren't we in the anime?
- It is! It’s everything else that’s imaginary!
- Do you want to have a bad time?
- Depends on if you've already had one.
- Bring it!
- Genocide is just another game. It doesn't matter if it's humans or Makai residents.
- A bad time for you!
- Hey! Let's have a real good time. Everybody have a good time. Play the music. Play it sweetly. Scatter music. Play it!
- Would you smooch a ghost?
- HECK YEAH
- OF COURSE!
- …How much are they paying?
- It depends; is she cute?
- What? You think I'm just gonna stand there and take it?
- Where's that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald?
- Over there, next to the regular one.
- Well, I have an emerald that's not chaotic enough, a concept of chaos that's not in the form of an emerald, and a Chaos Emerald that isn't the fourth one, so... Not in my hands!
- *chuckles* You mean the Chaos Emeralds?
- Or the Chaos Rings. Or the Sol Emeralds. Or the Phantom Ruby.
- Icecap, at the bottom of the mountain.
- Well, I guess that means there must be an emerald in this giant gold statue of... Sonic?! There's a gold statue of Sonic?
- In one of the special stages probably.
- I have it, you idiot! And you're not taking it from me!
- I see it, I want it, it's mine.
- Can't you be Little Miss Heropants some other time?
- What's a paladin?
- A guy who's got a gun, and is willing to travel.
- Wait till you get to Mt. Ordeals.
- I know, right? A heavy armour-wearing class who casts healing spells? I mean, what's their role supposed to be, anyway? Tank? Healer? DPS? Who came up with this unbalanced Jack of All Trades?
- I think the palad's in his armour, as always.
- Cornerstone of/only good thing about the Frankish army.
- What's... a paladin? FUCK. YOUUUU!
- He can turn into an invincible stone statue, I know that much.
- How high can you get?
- I'm so f**king high right now!
- I do not know if I'm high or sparkling wine!
- I'm so high right now, I'm having YOUR hallucinations.
- So high that I can kiss the sky!
- He needs to get a job instead of getting high.
- Back off, you fucking jackass! This here crack is for the children to get high!
- So high that I Can See My House from Here!
- As high as one hundred billion trillion light years from Earth.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
- Are you the Consul?
- What wouldst thou deau?
- Get ye flask.
- > restore Wow, you are such a suicidal maniac. Loading somebody else's save doesn't work on Zork, punk-ass cheater. For that, a spider that was sitting in the corner turns into Chuck Norris and whacks the living daylights out of you with a cup of tea.
- Wouldst thou SHUTTETH THE FUCK UP?!
- What befalls next is on thee! (What happens next is on you!)
- Did I eat my drink??
- Does Reptile even HAVE goskies?
- I know he has a bloody annoying Slide Attack.
- Yes it's true. This man has no dick.
- So, I've got a question for ya. Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everyone can be a good person, if they just try?
- Just watch me change! Here I go, I'm changing!
- In the end we are who we are, no matter how much we appear to have changed.
- Nothing's changed in 1800 years.
- But the future refused to change...
- Liar.
- If I couldn't change then, what makes you think I can change now?
- I have grown in a lot in ways that you were never here to see, but I guess you don't care at all.
- I'm getting better every day!
- You can do it, it's all up to you, m'kay?
With a little plan, you can change your life today!
You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack,
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack,
Follow my plan and very soon you will say, "It's easy, m'kay!" - Maybe you'll change, abandon all your wicked ways, make amends and start anew again. Maybe you'll see all the wrongs you did to me and start all over, start all over again.
...
Oh, who am I kidding? Now, let's not get overzealous here. You've always been a huge piece of shit! If I could kill you, I would, but it's frowned upon in all fifty states. Having said that, burn in hell! - You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So, I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and one by one, I'm going to make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl.
- Explain to me again why we need particle accelerators to bake cookies?
- Detecting multiple leviathan class lifeforms in the region. Are you certain whatever you're doing is worth it?
- I'm winning this college bet if it kills me.
- Probably not. Here I go!
- No, man. I know exactly what I'm doing. I just don't know what effect it's going to have.
- I have an ominous premonition.
- Everything I do...is always worth it.
- But that's Kaede's lie, isn't it?
- You still got a ways to go.
- It's not even April, is it?
- That isn't true. I haven't told a single lie since I was born.
- No. It's yours.
- Do you accept my confession?
- Sorry, but seeing as you weren't even born yet when Elizabeth Short was murdered, I'm having a bit of trouble believing that you're the Black Dahlia Killer.
- Um... Not really, I only just met you, I don't even know your name.
- I'm not talking to you, ya fat fuck!
- Yes. HEARTBROKEN
- You confessed to kill me.
- Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
- You're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: a hero.
- I WAS PROGRAMMED TO FIND YOU. THAT IS WHAT I DO. THAT IS ALL I DO. THERE YOU ARE. SHUTTING DOWN...
- The dead don't suffer. That's why you and I are still here.
- Because you touch yourself at night.
- Do you wish for your life to be oh so perfect?
- Kronika's will shall soon be fulfilled...
- Can you feel the sunshine?
- No. The sun is a deadly lazer.
- ♪Not anymore, there's a blanket♪
- I aware of my sunshine.
- If you stay in the sun for the first time in a location.
- I was dying of the sun! Nevermind!
- Speaking of fruit on a sunny day, it's been a long time you know INSANITY!
- Let the sunshine in...
- I don't mind the sun sometimes
- Sometimes I hate the sun.
- I'm sick of sunshine! Sun, sun, all the time, sun! How about some rain around here? Is that too much to ask? IS IT?!
- My body literally hates the sun on, like, a molecular level!
- Driving out into the sun, let the ultraviolet cover me up.
- As I'm sure you're aware, sunlight poses a problem for our...um...ethnic group. We don't tan, we don't burn. Frankly, we just become a rather unappetizing sort of photochemical leftover.
- Sun's a lump of coal next to me.
- No. The sun is a deadly lazer.
- Were you tooooooo fast?
- You went too fast- test failed. *explodes*
- You're too slow!
- TOO FAST! YOU LOSE, I WIN!
- 200CC STANDS FOR 200 CUBIC CENTIMETRES OF POOP IN MY PANTS!
- Another junkie lives too fast!
- Nope. You're just toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sllllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww............
- What did Porky do?
- How am I gonna stop some big mean Mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?
- Am I a kid or a squid?
- Howz it goin', dude? Stayin' away from the alcohol?
- Almost ten *Hic* days sober.
- I do not know if I'm high or sparkling wine!
- I drink meself under the table, I drink meself under a rock. I drink until I pass out, or maybe go into shock. I drink meself under a door frame or maybe a barroom stool. I drink until I fall down into a vomity pool. Cheers!
- Shit. I'm fuckin' wasted and you're just sitting there.
- Come on now, think about it. If I was a copy, why would I kick my own butt?
- Because mirror matches are fair.
- Clones.
- Kill and Replace.
- I'm afraid of/annoyed by/hate other me.
- There Can Be Only One.
- Don't beat yourself up over it.
- Of course you wouldn't! You always aim for the groin.
- Wouldn't that mean you'll be attacking your foot with your butt?
- You're comparing yourself to ME? Ha! You're not even good enough to be-
- Descendents wants to be clones, and they would kick their butts any day!
- Save it. Time to kick my ass.
- If Chuck Norris had a fight with himself, he would win.
- You're angry that Nintendo wouldn't give you your own moveset in the fourth Super Smash Bros... And then you got demoted to echo fighter.
- Let's You And You Fight.
- It must be a side effect to violating rule 675. and 954.
- I was created for the sole purpose of destroying you!
- Because the original is planning to steal the 7 Chaos Emeralds.
- Hey, you hurt you.
- That's my face. You're meat, beanhead.
- When I think about you... I kick myself.
- Look, I don't feel like talking about this, so let's just get with the brawlin' and see who's the real one, okay?
- Fresnel diffraction? The Zeno effect?
- Every once in a while I pull out the old SNES, and I beat the shit out of myself. It makes me feel better somehow.
- How about we keep this between me, myself, and I?
- So fucking what if I'm not you!?
- We were mirror images, literal carbon copies. But I was alive. Taylor wasn't. Not really. I had a sense of humour. Taylor had a coldness that enclosed her like a shield. The kid could see this. Anybody could.
- Oh, well, I guess if you're giving me the option, I'll kick my own ass, thanks.
- Me, myself and I don't get along...
- I can't believe it, I'm so... annoying.
- I hate you, guy who looks like me!
- You are not me! You're not me!
- Are you a maker of war, or peace?
- Pizza.
- That's reassuring, although many who've made that claim over the years have had less than pure intentions.
- Warm.
- I meant to start a war.
- You want us at war with the humans, and now you have it.
- I wage war on the whole damn world because of my tenacity!
- Well, corpses are remarkably non-violent.
- Pizza.
- Ki- killed her? Why would you do something like that?
- She missed my wake-up call.
- You people voted for Hubert Humphrey! And you killed Jesus!
- By killing her I took her physical life, but saved her life eternal. You see how all things serve the will and the mind of God? You see, you meddling little shit?!
- You'd think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes them dead.
- Oh, c'mon guys, I killed your father and yours. And most of Zangief's extended family, it was a different time.
- I'm bored and I need attention!
- I killed Shadi Smith with a bottle because I'm an evil human being, isn't that enough?
- That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fuckin' cunt!
- A mistake born of rage. I seek redemption.
- That hussie was getting too big for her jodhpurs.
- You stomped her because she was a drunken whore, and she treated you like shit!
- You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were only thinking about yourself.
- Bitch had it comin'.
- I'm not the one who killed her!
- But where do you get protein?
- You just have to add a little protein.
- Step 1: Protein. Step 2: Protein. Step 3, 4 and 5: MORE PROTEIN.
- From the Poke-Mart.
- Well, this is protein powder for my drink, right? While these are a mix of other supplements. Then we've got some energy bars, for energy obviously. Then this is another protein powder that I just like to eat as is.
- We got protein in all the colors of the rainbow.
- Come on, he's just a convict. How bad could he be?
- I don't know what you've been smoking, but where can I get some?
- Do you seriously think you have what it takes to build a nation? Carve out a frontier, train troops, build roads, and create towns?
- My sycophant tells me "Yes".
- Did anyone else read that in Sean Bean's voice?
- Are you trying to enact something you saw in a video game?
- Why do they always run?
- 74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live".
- The wicked flee when none pursueth.
- There are "got your back" guys, and "I'll be back" guys. Greg was a "I'm running like a bitch" guy.
- The grue gets closer. RUN YOU CRAZY FOOL!!
- Because Legendry Beasts don't have time to waste on small children trainers.
- 'Oooh, ahhh.' That's how it always starts. Then later there's the running and the screaming.
- Every time I take off my fucking underpants, some girls start crying some girlies run away.
- We're not retreating, we're advancing in a different direction!
- Famous Indian Proverb: when in doubt... RUN!!
- Ness! Now, I... well... It's going to seem like I'm running away... But perhaps I'll just sneak off to another era to think about my next plan.
- Have not! Slander and calumny! I have only ever embraced that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions. I submit that here now, that is what we all must do. We must fight — to run away.
- We were running from the Satchmo.
- They come in force,
With stealthy stride.
Our obvious course
Is now to hide! - The way I see it, we have two options: 1, take it on and kill it, or 2, run away. Who's for 2?
- Better to live in atrocity than to die in glory.
- General Grievous will run and hide as he always does. He is a coward.
- And you wouldn't have run for it?
- Don't change the subject.
- All you can do is run!
- Because I have tortured them horribly, silly!
- I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away.
- Are you friend or fiend?
- Both.
- You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.
- I'm actually a demon.
- You want to destroy this whole damn planet! Of course I'm not your friend!
- I'm Flowey! Your best friend.
- You are the demons.
- That's the tragedy of all this, Jordan. Hal. We'll always be friends.
- You're a friend now, you're a fiend now.
- It's playing computer poker by itself, Sam. It doesn't HAVE friends.
- It's irrelevant, imbecile.
- No.
- I wonder the same...
- Do you feel like a hero yet?
- Am I a hero? Eh, I don't know, I don't think it's very heroic if the only person you've managed to save is yourself.
- I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I'm just an old killer, hired to do some wetwork.
- Hero? Huh. You're talking to a villain, my dear. The hero inside of me died...many, many years ago when I was young.
- One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention. Was I really seeking good? Or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye? If that's all good deeds are, maybe that's the reason why no good deed goes unpunished!
- You can be excused just about anything if you're a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.
- I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero?
- Beating people up in little room... he knew where that led. And if you did it for a good reason, you'd do it for a bad one. You couldn't say 'we're the good guys' and do bad-guy things.
- And our brave hero roasts the disabled man!
- I'm starting to wonder which side is supposed to be the bad guys...
- According to a loose enough definition of 'hero', we qualify. Well, more or less. The point is that good deeds were done and we were nearby.
- Yeah... NO PRESSURE TORY — just FORCING you to do something you don't want to so I can fulfil my selfish dreams of fighting this guy who I barely know... I'M SUCH A GREAT HERO.
- Now, I'm not too sure if I'm the bad guy or the good guy. Because I kind of look like the bad guy right now. (But then again, bad guys don't go left to right!)
- Your hero is stealing from a hospital? Do you think that would sound good on a movie poster? Patch Adams: He steals from hospitals. I WOULDN'T SEE THAT!
- What kind of hero goes around punching women in the face?!
- Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our heroes, SUPERHEROES, emphasis on the heroes, are trying to destroy their friends' fulfilled lives, SPECIFICALLY to shirk responsibility!
- Our HERO, ladies and gentlemen!
- I'll prove I'm a good guy, even if I have to destroy this entire city and beat you to a pulp!
- In their pursuit of "justice", they destroy everything in their path, with callous disregard for the safety of the city! They, not we, are the true villains!
- I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior. Forget what you know. I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control.
- No, John. You are the demons.
- A hero ain't nothin' but a sandwich
- Once The Darkness gets a hold of you, you start to lose control. You start to wonder what the fuck you're doin'. Time slips away from you. And then, all of a sudden, it's like you're sittin' in a theater, watchin' a movie of your own life. And you're up there on the big screen. Big as life, you're a fuckin' movie star. And you're killin' all the bad guys, tearing them limb from limb. And you feel good. You look good. Fuck, you are good. And then you realize something. Everyone else in the theater: they're screamin', 'cuz they're watchin' a horror movie. And you're not the hero... You're the monster...
- You, the anti-hero who crosses the line of morality so frequently and with such audacity, that it brings out the cheapest of laughs.
- I say, if you're not going to give me any respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain! A villain who is... EVIL!
- Most villains don't think they're evil. They think they're heroes. Not me. I'm reclaiming it: EVIL WIZARD! I'm rotten to the bone, and I don't care who knows it!
- Hey, look, I'm the hero here. Will you quit accusing me of stealing things?
- To me hero's is just bad person!
- Hey, I'm no hero, I'm just a guy who likes to say he's no hero.
- Who says I was a hero?
- Steffi's the one who believes in things like heroics. Which is why I need to protect her from people like you.
- Oh, you know I don't approve of things that aren't wicked.
- I'm the last guy to claim sainthood. I just shoot arrows and hope for the best.
- I don't "feel" like a hero. I am a hero!
- YOU DECEIVE YOURSELF!
- Would his evil eye burn this city down?
- Do you know where sailors hang out?
- Lucky Money, upper level.
- Like they hang out anyway...
- Operator, the System needs you... Will you begin another mission?
- How About A Game of Lucky Hit?
- Do you like hurting other people?
- It's just a movie...
- I take pride in a job well done.
- To kill for yourself is murder. To kill for your government is heroic. To kill for entertainment is harmless.
- I take no joy in that. I take no pleasure in it. But we either chose to win this war and live free, or lie down and let you enslave us. Torture us. Kill us.
- I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.
- I wanna hurt you just to hear you screamin' my name!
- Oh, and you think I enjoy this? I'm sick and tired of always being the bad guy! What I do has to be done!
- I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!
- I find everyone's pain funny but my own. I'm French.
- You're not suppose to be here. We had a deal, didn't we?
- 'I'm not even supposed to be here today', you sound like an asshole!
- A deal? I am not a god of my word, Reptile. All deals are off!
- Fool! You made a deal with the devil! And now you'll reap the reward! Which is... this reward. The devil may have inadvertently dropped the ball on this one.
- I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
- Mr. Saikou, the deal is off.
- moint pan you do not know this deal is not for you!
- How do you rule a realm with no one in it!?
- Hmm... Well, I hadn't really thought about it, actually. Gloat, I suppose; cackle wickedly amid the ashes, sort of thing?
- Dunno. Glue it back together I suppose.
- Whaaat?! You...! Think before you speak! You think my plan is s-stupid?! You'll pay for your rudeness!
- Not sure what I'll do with it, but I'll figure something out.
- I'll kill them until it's only me, me alone in a quiet world.
- I'm not sure he has a reason. I think it's more like... an instinct.
- I will shred this universe down to its last atom, and then, with the Stones you’ve collected for me, create a new one, teeming with life that knows not what it is lost but only what it is been given. A grateful universe.
- I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one LEFT in the universe!
- My reign is one where people do not live to see it.
- We're both dead! How are we here?
- Negative Continuity.
- Dream Match Game.
- Not Too Dead to Save the Day.
- Rumors of our deaths were exaggerated.
- Maybe it was the... bears.
- This must be the work of Kronika.
- If only... If only you hadn't come back! Once I defeat you, this will all be over!
- You’re comic book superheroes! Death Is Cheap!
- It isn't too hard to see. We're in Heaven.
- After I win, wanna get pizza?
- Peace-ahh? Pizza! Your wish is my command!
- Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!
- I'll buy that for a dollar.
- Loser buys at Jitters.
- Oh, you're gonna regret saying dat.
- Loser buys.
- You mean it's on Batman.
- Two words: Beef. Bourguignon.
- Dat was your last chance.
- I think it's time, to order a pep-pep-pep-pepperoni pizza!
- I ordered the pizza, so give me the pizza and fuck off, or I'll shove them crystals right up me dingo!
- Why don't we just give up, partner?
- Yeah, Screw This, I'm Out of Here!
- You hate life, you're miserable all the time, afraid to enjoy yourself even a little! Face it, you might as well be dead already. Do yourself a favor, give up!
- Don't EVER give up, my son...
- I will not yield, To kiss the ground before Young Malcolm's feet, And to be baited with the rabble's curse. Though Birnam Wood be come to Dunsinane, And thou opposed, being of no woman born, Yet I will try the last. Before my body I throw my warlike shield. Lay on, Macduff; And damned be him that first cries: 'Hold, enough!'
- But my husband...
- That's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.
- GIVE UP! GIVE UP! On the rise to radiation!
- That's it, I've had enough. This whole goddamn adventure has been nothing but pointless build ups toward pay offs that never happen.
- It's no use, give up!
- Hey Spongefool, why don't you just give up? There's no one left to help you, no one left at all!
- NO WAY? NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY!
- You first.
- "What? You're telling me to quit?" "I said 'give up'. But 'quit' works just as good."
- I never quit.
- Hey, didn't I kick your ass two rooms back?
- Respawning Enemies, my friend.
- You never kicked my ass.
- I got over it.
- I'm a Recurring Boss. And this time I won't be so—Augh! My ass!
- Can I Really Be the Hero?
- OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes.
- You're no savior. Your talents lie elsewhere.
- You not a hero! You a bi-ran! You a bi-ran! Bi-ran!
- I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, Forget what you know. I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control.
- (Laughing) Savior?! Where?!
- Heroes?! You're thieves pillaging the town before the army destroys everything! You're no heroes, you're scavengers!
- Never Be a Hero.
- Go, ye heroes, go to glory,
Though ye die in combat gory,
Ye shall live in song and story!
Go to Immortality!
Go to death, and go to slaughter!
Die, and every Cornish daughter,
With her tears, your graves shall water!
Go, Ye Heroes, Go and Die! - I chose my path, you chose the way of the hero. And they found you amusing for a while, the people of this city. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you.
- You're not a hero! Do you think we're stupid enough to sit and watch life be destroyed?
- I'm just a man, I'm not a hero!
Just a boy, Who had to sing this song! - "Never surrender", that's your motto. Well, that and "Always keep the movie rights."
- Okay, hero. Let's play "Save the World".
- Why don't you try a harder difficulty level next time!
- Metal Gear?!
- Huh? You're familiar with it?
- ...No. Just... had to blurt it out.
- METAL GEEEEEEEAAAAARRRR!!... What the heck is a Metal Gear?
- Stop saying Metal Gear!!
- Huh? You're familiar with it?
- Who wants some Wang?
- What color is Jim's red gun?
- No idea, but I know it fires quickly!
- Grey. It was for shooting red things.
- I've got a big red one!
- Duh. It's red all over and shoots red blasts.
- Do you get to the Cloud District very often?
- Where is Cloud District?
- Weaponized bees. What could go wrong?
- A deadly bee weapon. Bees. My God.
- Not the bees! AHHHHHHH Ahgarbulagabah my eyes! my eyes! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHhhhurgh!
- Fucking... bees? That's all this is? I'm not allergic to bees, asshole!
- Every- How dare you penetrate my territory? You have robbed everything I possessed. You knoe (sic), what you've done to me is simply unforgivable. I'll punish you myself and see to it that you die a miserable death with my awesome weapon. Die, Maggots.
- I thought you said you were here for some "divine bees" earlier? Maybe I'm crazy...
- What's the matter? Scared?
- I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer!
- I'm not scared at all, are you scared of something?
- AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! Ahem. That did not scare me at all.
- I'm afraid! I'm scared! I feel FEAR!
- There is none but he / Whose being I do fear.
- You think you scare me, but you don't. You think you scare me, yet you don't.
- I fear no man. But that... thing... It scares me.
- You think I'm afraid of you because you're a dick? I eat dicks for breakfast!
- ...That didn't come out right.
- You no scare we!
- Me afraid Superman number one.
- I do not fear you, Raiden!
- I don't fear you, ninja!
- Even Hank was scared.
- I don't want to lose my dong.
- I'm going to scare you like you've never been scared before!
- If you're trying to scare me... you're doing a good job!
- Sometimes fear is the appropriate response.
- Wow, I have to admit, I'm impressed. Who knew all it would take to unnerve the almighty Kira was a couple of pages of poorly written smut?
- I don't know what scares me more, the fact that he has our eyes on file or that the toilet is talking.
- As I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil.
- Luigi, you shouldn't be scared. The only reason you should be scared is because StacheBros just broke consistency.
- Tweek is so not scared he's at an amusement park in Denver right now!
- I've just been trained to ignore fear.
- I'm afraid.
- Even Speedwagon is afraid!
- I laugh in the face of danger. Then I run and hide until it goes away.
- You can't scare me. I work for James Cameron.
- Now, Gordon, it's only fair you know I am freaking the fuck out!
- Kept you waiting, huh?
- I did my waiting! Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!
- It's been 3,000 years...
- The wait is ogre!
- Ah! After ten-thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!
- I could have just taken my time and forgotten about you altogether.
- The waiting is the hardest part.
- You actually... chose incorrectly? How is that even possible?!
- Why must every single person meddle in my plans!?
- Fate foretells that your plans will fail before they were even made.
- Can someone, anyone, explain to me what the hell is going on?
- So, obviously I know exactly what's going on, but if anybody wants to tell me so we can, you know, compare notes and stuff...
- Well, there was this big misunderstanding and now my pen pal thinks I can fly! And I don't think I ever meant it, but now I have to! If he doesn't see me fly and I don't know how! If I don't fly, he'll die disappointed! I made a horrible mistake, Sandy! Please help!
- So this big galoot here, right? He's all like, I have no seeeat! No seeat! And he won't shut up! But he won't stop, and we're all, we just can't do it buddy, OK? So we have no idea what to do. And this lug's getting surlier. He's not going away. And he has no seat! Nothing! Not a chance!Continued
- Well, let's see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil…
- Who hired this guy? What the fu(BEEP)?!
- Yeah, about that. What happened to Dark You, hmn?
- How come you're an only child, and I've got an evil twin?
- He became an Echo Fighter.
- Shouldn't you be alive?
- It seems that reports of my... survival... have been greatly exaggerated.
- Am I not?
- We were mirror images, literal carbon copies. But I was alive. Taylor wasn't. Not really. I had a sense of humour. Taylor had a coldness that enclosed her like a shield. The kid could see this. Anybody could.
- Of course. Stupid me. I died outside and the cold preserved my body. I forgot about dying.
- Check result, she complete health but we can't explain why she quick dead.
- Page 62, 'Johnny Cage dies'? Is someone high?!
- Who's the special guest villain?
- You judge yourselves against the pitiful adversaries you've encountered so far: the Romulans, the Klingons... They're nothing compared to what's waiting.
- HO HO HO! I'm your bad guy this time!! HO HO HO!
- I'm a throwaway villain! Fear my generic motives!
- You may be a god, but to us, you'll always be a filler villain!
- They're a rare breed of ninja called "forgettable movie villains". You've never heard of them, and after you've finished fighting them you won't remember it even happened, but for the next 90 minutes you'll think they're the biggest threat you've faced in your entire life!
- You two careful, he is a big.
- It's been Agatha all along!
- Rastapopoulos!...Roberto Rastapopoulos! You've been trying to spike my guns for a long time... Me, Rastapopoulos, king of drug smugglers... Rastapopoulos, who went over a cliff near Gaipajama...and you thought I died... Rastapopoulos, alive and well... And as always, coming out on top...
- And the mystery guest is...who's that?
- Or should I call you Dallas?
- Did ya miss me, ya wankers?!
- No, she didn't miss you, you idiot! She doesn't give a shit about you! In fact, NO one gives a shit about you! Hell, people like Shippo more than you.
- Like coke after Lent!
- Yes, I did. In fact, I wasn't done missing you. Would you mind leaving again?
- My ex-wife still misses me...BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!
- Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?
- Childhood friends? Went to the same school? Just to name a few.
- Why is it everybody's so offensive 'round here?
- Walk into people's houses and take things...? Are you a thief or something?
- What are you implying? I'm no little thief! I'm... Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!
- It's not 'Stealing.' It's 'Adding to my Inventory'.
- What? It's free!
- What does it say about me as a person that my first instinct is to rifle through her desk for useful items?
- Hey, look, I'm the hero here. Will you quit accusing me of stealing things?
- Hey! Call me a treasure hunter, or I'll rip your lungs out!
- Look who's calling who a thief!
- I steal only what I can't afford... And that's EVERYTHING!
- Borrowed! Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving it back to you.
- I'm not a thief, Airk!
- Since when can you beat anybody?!
- Hey! Who allowed them to join this tournament? They're way too strong to compete! I mean, what's up with that?
- It shoots fire from its mouth and bleeds acidic lava! Run for your pathetic lives!
- Hey, don't take this as an excuse or something, but... that Ragna at the very end? That sucker is TOUGH! Oh my God, you have no idea!
- It is absolutely unacceptable for you to deal lethal damage on your first turn! It completely ruins the balance of the game! I cannot approve approve of someone like you being the final boss! In fact, no one would approve of such a lousy game if it had that!
- Um... I gotta be honest with you right here. I recorded this fight earlier and I frickin' lost. No, I don't - I don't mean that it was a close fight. I mean that I got my ass handed to me. This guy... was ridiculous.
- Okay, I know it's filthy rich coming from ME... But your powers are bullshit!
- A goddess who can make me feel pain even at level 100. And a human who casually punches such a goddess. This world...has some serious power balance issues!
- Foolish girl! I am a druid, I have special abilities that are more powerful than your entire class!
- All's fair in love and war, and in this tournament, every entrance is considered fair.
- We got a guy with things comin' out of his hands, we got another guy who freezes stuff, and then there's a man, who as far as I can tell, is made out of electricity. I mean, how did he disappear like that? What is goin' on here? WHO IS THIS GUY?
- Isn't it lunch time?
- Still haven't beaten my time yet?
- He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!
- You can not beat... however, there are alternatives to fighting.
- Oh don't worry about Jak, he beats things all the time!
- If you're having trouble with a course, use some assist parts!
- I don't care what it takes! Just find a way to win the race!
- It goes faster and faster.
- You want to wash Wang, or you want to watch Wang wash wang?
- I'M STILL MASTURBATING!
- You are already at full cock now, spread all over the place, the empire.
- You can not beat... however, there are alternatives to fighting.
- We will crush the uprising, a quick stroking motion.
- There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best.
- Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
- He's an asshole. All he does is sit in his room and jerk off. He's probably gone nearsighted.
- Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't wanna see that! Damn it, get out of here! And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you!
- Now I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the "self service" pump...
- I'm so fucked up.
- Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day... it's all downhill from here.
- Celibacy is a hands on job.
- Everyone's asleep, and here's lonely old Dupree just wailing away on himself!
- I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman
That I love the best - Me up all night honking me horn
To porn, porn, pooooooorn! - If you hooked a generator up to my jerking hand, you could power the entire city of Chicago for at least 48 minutes.
- "It's alright to jerk off to cartoons"
"The Japanese do it everyday"
"So rub one out for the USA!"
"The USAAAAAAAAAA!" - Dook Hut
No Fapping! - Anything you look at while you masturbate is porn. Your bedroom ceiling, for example.
- What, can't you just go home and jerk off?
- I suggest you get a life, because you obviously don't have one, you morbidly obese twit!
- Somebody tell me how I got so SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!
- And...oh dear! Who put that thing in the story?
- ...Who the hell wrote this crap?!
- Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!
- Ugh! It's ruined! You- I can't believe after everything we talked about you... my story... you've destroyed my work!
- Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was 'Moments with Heavy', not 'Moments with some lousy, degenerate douchebag, who ruins the entire show with his negligence.'
- Yeah, we had to put that in there for the international audience. Turns out they don't love words! They love pratfalls/physical comedy and cute furry animals.
- Page 62: Johnny Cage dies. Is someone high?
- WHERE'D YOU LEARN HOW TO COOK, TRUCK DRIVING SCHOOL?!
- How many times have you died?
- Twelve freaking times!
- And that was the fifth time I died.
- This is my billionth life cycle.
- Hey, I've died twice.
- Ten? A hundred? A thousand?
- Thus died Thor. For the ninth time that could be remembered. Three days later, he rose again.
- This is Chiaotzu's second time. *Chiaotzu pipes up* next time I get a free sundae.
- Oh, that's you. You know, you've actually died a lot.
- I never died once.
- Um...er...I don't know, I never counted. I am not really a math guy, you know?
- You like Castlevania, don't you?
- And you two will do the de rigueur pauperizing of the fourth wall! Right?
- What?! What fourth wall?! There's never been a fourth wall in this stupid comic!
- However, much to your utter contempt, your FOURTH WALL was stolen some time ago.
- What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall, Carl?
- HEALTH BAR IN YOUR FACE! Feel the love of the Hyper Combo, and it's a HOOOOOOME run! ♪ This is the Hyper Combo!♪
- What's that got to do with anything?
- So, what does it take to join your club?
- The leadr sed, you have to batlle me. if you win the battle, you ... uh can join
- If you can find all five of us by tomorrow morning, I'll teach you the code!
- Anyone can join! It's exclusive!
- All members must be able to kick a ball out of the yard.
- You must draw a funny picture of Mr. Ratburn to join.
- By the mystic regulation
Of our dark Association,
Ere you open conversation
With another kindred soul,
You must eat a sausage-roll!
- Does the Pope shit in the woods?
- No, but Gladly does.
- Does that mean the bear is Catholic?
- Is sanity the price to pay… FOR POWER?!
- What form of power is this?
- I mean, if you have money, you don’t need love, right?
- Nothing Matters Except the Money.
- What kind of monster chooses money over lo— MONEY ALL THE WAY, BABY!
- We'll be mopping up the money in the morning! We'll be rolling in our riches, afternoon! In the evening we'll dine on the finest meat and wine, and we'll eat it with a silver spoon!
- Love, gimme love, gimme love, I don't need it but I'll take what I want from your heart and I'll keep it.
- Wow. Will I really get that crazy?
- Aren't we all?
- Kefka, you're insane!
- What's the point of splashing?!
- What is it the Bible says, Slim?
- As the Good Book says... wait, why would I need to tell you what the Good Book says?
- As the Holy Book says, in the Book of Holes, chapter 1: 'And they knew not their holes, from an ass on the ground.'
- The darkness and light are both alike... I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
- "To overcome the spider's curse, simply quote a Bible verse..." uh... Thou shall not... Ah, screw it!
- 'A foolish man who built his house on sand.'
- 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is the Lord... when I lay my vengeance upon thee!'
- Austin 3:16 says 'I just whooped your ass!'
- 'We'd go down to the river, and into the river we'd dive.'
...
Springsteen, 'The River'. What? I'm all out of Bible verses. - 'For what profit is it to a man if he gains the world, and loses his own soul?' Matthew 16:26, I believe.
- I am the Alpha and the Omega,
The beginning and the end,
The first and the last. - Eef aaanyone does not rove tha Lowd Jeesus Chwise, ret him be ac-cused. O Lowd, come, AAAmennn.
- Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone.
- Man cannot live on bread alone. I know, I tried that shit.
- And the Lord said, 'Go Sox'.
- 'One's true value is determined solely through the eyes of others.' That's from Genesis,their first album I think.
- My name is Legion, for we are-
- As the good book says, 'Payback's a bitch!'
- The Bible says, 'Suffer not a witch to live,' yet he has once again delivered this female atrocity to our care. Once I have dealt with the monster, I think it will be time to see if green wood does, in fact, burn.
- Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
- Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.
- His disciples had gone into the town to buy food. - John 4:8
- Jesus told them another parable: The kingdom of Heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.
- And Samson said, "with an ass' jawbone, I have made asses of them. With an ass' jawbone, I have killed a thousand men."
- 'Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil, 'cause I'm the meanest sonofayouknowwhat in the valley.'
- "When a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick" ...Well, it doesn't say that exactly, but somewhere there is something about a chicken.
- "Temporary flight"
- Gee, it sure is written "A bird in the hand is worth two rupees."
- So the Bible says, God wants us to spread the measles!
- Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.
- And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”
- I am the yolk
Don't need the yolk
I want the smoke
I'm gonna smoke
All of your weed
- Your machine sucks ass. Is that OK?
- My Anilingutron 2000 appears to be working efficiently. Excellent.
- Delusional machines. What's the universe going to come up with next?
- You bet your arse my gizmo works! (Maybe!) I just push this button... I said, I push this button... Damnit, this stupid button!
- WHAT the HECK is THAT?
- Operator, are you enjoying the view?!
- I knew this day would come. I prepared, changed myself. I made sacrifices! Tenno... are you ready for a SACRIFICE?!
- You will make the necessary sacrifices. Inevitably.
- I was spoiled for The Second Dream, mildly surprised with The War Within, but The Sacrifice? Nothing could prepare me for that.
- Among thousands of comrades and ten thousand enemies, only you... only you... only you made me forget my dream. I sacrifice.
- Nah, if I ever kill these crackers it'll be with my bare hands. Thanks anyway.
- Fuck... you!
- Yes, mother. I understand.
- SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! BARBECUE- I MEAN, SACRIFICE!
- Those are the Queens' braids. What are they up to?
- Was I such a poor mentor?
- I've already mastered everything you have to teach me. But I decided to disregard all I learned from you. All your moves look retarded in addition to being completely useless in a fight. See ya loser!
- You kinda suck as a mentor.
- What the hell?! But I waxed off everything! I waxed off your car, I waxed off your house, I even waxed off your monkey!
- We have something in common?
- You work for peanuts. A hearty "Well done!" from Her Majesty the Queen and a pittance of a pension. Apart from that, we are the same.
- Listen, Weasley! You are brash, arrogant, obnoxious, pushy, rude, and you dress funny. You're my kind of guy!
- You and I are the same in the way that we have our own styles that we won't change.
- We're not so different, you and I. It's true, you're British, and I'm Belgian. You have a full head of hair, mine is slightly receding. You're thin, I'm about forty pounds overweight. OK, we are different, I'm not making a very good point.
- I'm not like you. You're a murderer.
- Were we so different? They are a young species. They have much to learn... but I've seen goodness in them.
- We're not the same! I'm not...no, wait. Maybe we are. You're right, yeah, OK. You've got a point. 'Cause I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. 'Exterminate'.
- If that's true, then work with me. We want the same thing.
- Predator and prey, the very same, both hate the bitter taste.
- WE NOT SO DIFFERENT AFTER ALL PUNY-BOY! WE BOTH ONLY THINGS TO HAVE LEGS!
- We're nothing alike. You are programmed to lose!
- Oh? Is this the we're-both-the-same card already?
- I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things, too. So we're really not that different, me and you.
- We're completely different. I'm gracefully tall, you're freakishly short.
- I am rational, you are mad.
- Not "mad", differently sane.
- You ready to be part of somethin' bigger than yourself?
- Goodbye, my only friend- Oh, did you think I meant you?
- You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.
- I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too.
- I am not your friend.
- Did you just color me blue with my own attack? This can't count, right? Surely this doesn't count?
- Sho'Nuff!
- You're blue now. That's my attack!
- Any attack I deal against you can and does count, whether you like it or not. And another thing: DO NOT call me "Shirley"!
- Who do you voodoo, Bitch?
- Is it just me, or is your nose square?
- Your feathered friend is such a joke, where are the "funny" lines she once spoke?
- Only if you find her death funny.
- Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?
- That's a sewer pipe? That water's cleaner than pretty much all the water in Australia! Have you seen the water come out of our tap? Looks more like semen than water. Our tap's not so much a tap as it is a functioning metal penis.
- I can't believe you went in there, now wash your hands, you filthy bear!
- Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!
- I can't go down there, I hate sewers! They smell like poo gas!
- You're a nasty little sewage boy, aren't you Dr. Freeman?
- I-I got wood, man. Why do I got wood?
- Wanna see what destruction looks like?
- Polly, are we forgetting something?
- The diamonds! My god! I've forgotten them completely!
- They forgot all about the stupid-ass boulder from the beginning of my Nintendogs playthrough, AND IT CAME BACK FROM OUTER SPACE AND FUCKING KILLED EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
- Oh no. Doctor Connor's class. I got so caught up at what I was doing that I forgot all about it. He's gonna kill me.
- No crackers, Gromit! We've forgotten the crackers!
- Would it have killed you to just drown?
- How long have you had that in your pants?
- Why do birds fly?
- Who are the Patriots?
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- An American Football team from New England.
- I am all the Patriots.
- With a face like mine is it a crime to be bouncing all the time?
- Now that you said it...it's time to count up your crimes.
- Pepper, what are you doing?
- Mushroom dance
Mushroom dance
Whatever could it mean- It means you're overanalyzing Fantasia.
- It means you've recovered a Big Paint Star.
- It means you're tripping on shrooms, man.
- What is the purpose of the goggles?
- Where is Charles Lee???
- Charles Lee sends his regards.
- You killed him, didn't you?
- Your "maestro" was helpless against me.
- Instead of me, he promotes Charles Lee, makes him second in command. (I'm a general! Wheee!)
- Charles Lee sends his regards.
- But... in the end? If strength cannot save you, then what can...?
- Will you betray me someday?
- Were you afraid to face me head on?
- Shouldn't the Mushroom Kingdom...unfold? And be refolded unto glory?
- And what of those...Toads? Shouldn't they be silenced...for all of eternity?
- Will you crease yourself and be reborn, like me?
- Two words: Fuck you!
- I am, by the only standard that matters or will ever matter, the winning team. Existence is a test that most will fail. Would you not count yourself among the victorious few?
- As long as I get money from the winning team.
- You've got a reward ready, right?
- What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord?
- Trouble with the trolley, eh?
- So, do you have a war cry that you use in battle?
- BANZAI!
- SPOOOOOON!
- Imperius Rex!
- Forth, Éorlingas!
- Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!
- Run And Live!
- It's Clobberin' Time!
- Goongala!
- Bring My Brown Pants!
- LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!
- Hawkaaa!
- ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!
- LOK'TAR OGAR!
- CARLSON & PETERS!
- WAAAAAAGH!
- Try not to die.
- FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB!
- BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TOOOOOO!
- Yo, Joe!
- Exterminaaaaaaaate!
- Victory is life!
- Deus Vult!
- Evil, meet my sword! SWORD, MEET EVIL!!
- Do you get all your ideas from comic book villains?!
- Life…Dreams…Hope…Where do they come from? And where do they go?
- The only me is me. Are you sure the only you is you?
- My voice, can you hear it? This sign, can you read it?
- Hey Wassa-Matta-You Altaïr?
- Hey, relax. We're the good guys. Justice will prevail and all that stuff... right, Samus?
- Who do you think polluted our last world?!
- IT WAS ME, BARRY!
- It was you all along!
- What is the secret of Monkey Island?
- The first game in the Monkey Island series, The Secret of Monkey Island, was released in 1990. The game begins as our hero, Guybrush Threepwood, finds hi—shot
- Running away, are we?
- Did you eat all the pie!?
- Are you ready, both physically and mentally, to Snifit or Whiffit?
- Oh, can you hear me... Are you there? Are you there? I could really use some help now!
- Ain't it great how we met each other on this wild and crazy carousel of life?
- Your life's been written into plotlines. Can you make it your own?
- I'm trying! I really am!
- Though it hasn't been long, why do I sense there's something on your mind? What is it you can't find?
- The ability to feel emotion.
- Say darlin', hey maybe, fancy a movie night with us?
- Let's get real. What's your deal? Do you still believe you will ever be able to take us down?
- How about looking at things from a new perspective?
- I can't because of the Event-Obscuring Camera.
- If I could ever tell you that, wouldn't I feel so weak?
- Oh, God, let me out! Can you let me out? Can you set me free from this dark inner world?
- Come on, let go of the remote. Don't you know you're letting all the junk flood in?
- That's why spam filters exist.
- Yes, but I'd rather let them all in because it benefits me.
- The sound you're about to hear is deep down hip hop. What you gone do when they start to come up?
- What's that bow tie on the card guy tell you 'bout his design?
- ...Where have you been?
- Replicant, what is that stuff in your hair?
- I've been doing pretty swell, been living like a king, been cool with everything, been thinking that it's 'bout that time that I should let you know I'm never gonna come back home again!
- Not that you'd care, but I started getting the help that I so badly need.
- I've been waiting undefeated just to hear you say that I'm not needed.
- I've been drifting again. Could you repeat the question?
- I've been here before, but I couldn't tell you when.
- I've fallen inbetween the planets and the sun, into the orbit that surrounds you.
- I've been sleeping in a cardboard box, spending every dollar at the liquor shop.
- The real question to be asked: Where have I been?
- "My fault", said Thomas. "Masturbating."
- Grove Street, home.
- I don’t know, but wherever it was… I am their king, now.
- Bathroom. My zipper got stuck.
- Is this a mirage or a chance to fulfill my mission?
- Who am I? Am I not unique?
- Why does nobody want change?
- They Changed It, Now It Sucks!
- I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!!!
- People ask me if I get tired of walking the same route every day... And I say, "No way, Jose!" Because it's a bit different every day, you know? I'm not the same as I was yesterday... Neither are you... Even the town changes... And you'll never see another day just like today, so treat each day like it is: unique!
- I said I don't like change, but I'm not afraid.
- Can you hide behind claiming might is right?
- Ain't it all worth fighting for, no?
- I fight for country, not cash.
- I fight for coin, not cause.
- Then we're at an impasse.
- Can't you see what is inside, all alone, astray in the night?
- Come on, you've seen it all. Nothing more to say. Today's a new day, so won't you at least try, no?
- Are you ready to take on the Sunfish?
- What are we made of?
- See: What is a Man?
- ♪ Try to reach inside of me, try to drain my energy ♪
♪ Let me show you just what I'm made of ♪
♪ Simple curiosity tries to take a bite of me ♪
♪ Let me show you just what I'm made of now... ♪ - Didn't you learn this in a biology class?
- MY NAME IS EGGSPITCH. I WANT TO HELP YOU. I AM A TRAINED DOCTOR. I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN SORT OUT YOUR PROBLEMS, BUT FIRST I NEED YOUR TRUST. DO YOU BELIEVE ME?
- Safety Not Guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
- Eggspitch? You're not fit to be my ally.
- YOU FILLED YOUR [Inventorium] WITH [Half-Pr1ce Sallamy] JUST TO KEEP ME OUT!?
- Are you the Azure Knight?! Answer me!
- To my people, I’m a hero. To you?
- Hey, take that stupid hat off! What does it look like in there?
- You do not want to know what's inside it.
- Do you know why we stopped the car?
- Wait…was that all of 'em?
- Why do you have to be such a hardass, bro?
- Here's a suggestion. Have you considered killing yourself? It'd be beneficial to your mental health.
- Who else will I have ice cream with?
- I want some ice cream, chocolate would be good!
- I am not a thing you can just use to fill emotional voids with.
- I want ice cream. Chocolate mint, orange sorbet, strawberry. In that order, from top to bottom. ...Actually, make the middle one cheesecake and the very bottom one raspberry.
- I'll take a banana split. Uhp! One scoop vanilla. One scoop chocolate, one scoop strawberry. Uhp! Put the strawberry in the middle! And now hot fudge. Uhp! Only on the vanilla and chocolate! Put regular fudge on the strawberry. Now some whipped cream. Hey-Hey-Hey-He-ey, easy! Little more... Little more... Little more only on the vanilla! Kinda fill in that space right there. Stop! Now some nuts! Uhp. No nut dust. Now, this is the complicated part. No green sprinkles on the chocolate. Yes, green sprinkles on the strawberry. But both no red sprinkles. Except on the vanilla, which should receive exclusively red sprinkles!
- The River City School Board.
- Hmm... don't I usually get something in return for these good deeds?
- What good deeds?
- All that work and we don't even get cake?
- Oh, that. I just thought it would be mean. Seriously, you're never going to be able to eat cake again. Imagine that; life without cake.
- The Cake is a Lie.
- I WANT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE!
- Fool, asking for cake during work is like asking for candy from a kidnapper.
- Now Milton, don't be greedy. Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece.
- I want some achievements. I need them. Now. How do I get some?
- You'll have none of it, pretender.
- Oh, please. Are you really just doing this for the achievement? Click a door five times? Is that all that you think an achievement is worth? No, no, no, no, no. I can't just give these merits away for such little effort. A measly five clicks? Now suppose you were to click the door 20 times. I would say that's the kind of effort that warrants recognition.
- I brake for ducks. Do you?
- Who's the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?
- Who likes bananas and not bees?
- I'm sorry guys. Am I late for the party?
- Who are you running from?
- The wicked flee when no one pursues.
- I'm runnin' down a dream.
- Red.
- I run toward danger, not from it.
- I don't run, I chase.
- Why do we possess such an intricate bookmark when neither of us have any books to read?
- That's the million dollar question.
- Hi, are you suspicious? What is your website?
- Suspicious my ass.
- When will my birthday begin?
- I hope you'll explode next time, okay? Do we understand?
- How many people still believe in stars?
- They're fireflies. Fireflies that got stuck in that big blueish black thing.
- Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
- Now, you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you. But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.
- Mother never lets me look at the stars either!
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- May I pose thee a question? This tower, this prison, stands tall and solitary, the contraption bridging its lower reaches long unmoving. So... by what path didst thou here ascend? Art thou a creature of the air, or other winged thing?
- You like poking around in cells, do you?
- How about some scat, you little twat?
- Bop beep be be skdoo bep
- Ska-badabadabadoo-belidabbelydabbladabbladabblabab-belibabbelibabbelibabbelabbelo-doobelidoo... I'm the Scatman!
- You need a new catchphrase.
- Daaaadaaaa talalala la-la-laaaa la-lalaaaa...
- You know, it's fitting that you called it scatting earlier because that was a load of shit!
- Halligan! WHERE ARE MY SCISSORS?
- Yarr! Who touched me bird?
- You know!
- Can I get an amen?
- Amen.
- Hell no, you won't.
- Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
- You're a real smarty, aren't you?
- What do you mean we all look alike?
- Look, I really don't feel like talking about this, so let's just get with the brawlin' and see who's the real one, okay?
- This world is now populated by people who act and look exactly just like me.
- Who can be content as just a link in the chain of evolution?
- Most second evolution Pokémon.
- If you don't require our services…THEN TELL ME! Is there any reason I shouldn't have dragged outside and shot for wasting my VALUABLE TIME?!
- Have you seen a little girl? Just turned seven last month... Short Black hair... My daughter.
- Do you have the right time, old man?
- Laying down on the job, Parker?
- Why don't you Take This Job and Shove It?
- Clear one thing up for me: this outfit is going to help me in battle, right? And you're not telling me to wear it just to mess with me, right!?
- I just did. As in, "I just messed with you." So what will you do about it?
- Did I ever tell you... the definition of insanity?
- When did you?
- Insanity. Noun. A disorderly state of mind. There. Now shut up about it and go torture McLovin.
- You! You're the definition! You!
- Maybe the real definition of insanity was the friends we made along the way…
- The stupid fat-ass boneless horse is stuck in the magic shitter, and it's still trying to kick you to death! What do you do?
- Does this look like the god-damned Harbinger Motel to you!?
- Where's My Water?
- Are we "Johnny Cages" or "Johnnies Cage"?
- It's irrelevant, imbecile.
- You're both nothing more than lying, cheating, worthless FAT-ASSES!
- As everyone knows, villains only divulge their evil plans in a certain situation. But what is that situation?
- …Christmas?
- WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY
- Bitch, please! I divulge in my evil plans at all times...because I can!
- You still haven't...realized, have you?
- Realize what?
- No, I definitely have.
- You are incapable of harming me.
- I'm not so sure...
- Explain to me again why you would "love to bite Annah"? Would this not provoke an attack?
- Not if you attack me first.
- Silly rabbit, when I say that I would "love to bite Annah", it won't provoke an attack. Everybody will FEAR me.
- What color do you bleed, Spider-Man?!
- Are you man enough to fight with me?!
- I'm the strongest woman in the world.
- Fight you, beat you, and spit on your grave.
- This insult will not stand!
- Now we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!
- Dispatch, we have a code... umm... what's the code for 'giant robot attack'?
- Uhhh... "Golf Romeo Alpha"?
- Exactly.
- Uhhh... "Golf Romeo Alpha"?
- Can you feel the rhythm?
- Just the arm? What, can't afford the rest of the suit?
- How much of that suit is bionic?
- How do you make a portal to hell?
- Crashing the mobile artillery into a house?! How long have you been in the force?!
- What is paragraph 4?
- What the hell's going on with the city?
- Why are we listening to this snake?
- Is that fact, or mere hyperbole?
- I only state observable facts.
- Just the facts, ma'am.
- I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically, or theoretically, or any other fancy way!
- It ain't hyperbole if it's true.
- What you say's at least one six billionth true!
- You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
- A Fate Worse than Death? Probably.
- Alright, hit me again with the part about Bongwater’s blimps.
- Doesn't anyone print instruction manuals anymore?
- No, you must create the instructions in your mind, my liege.
- Real men don't need instructions.
- Looks like you won't be able to get through the hotels!
- They stopped making them when they realized that nobody reads them.
- Ah, what now? Need your pantaloons pressed?
- Don't, Scarecrow!
- Bold of you to assume I own pantaloons.
- You're crocked, aren't you?
- This town is full of monsters! How can you sit there and eat pizza!?
- Stuffed crust! You can eat it in reverse.
- When I get my hands on pizza, all monsters disappear in only one hundred billion trillionth of a second.
- How will you fight without a weapon?
- I am a weapon.
- Hand to hand! It is the basis of all combat!
- Where we're fighting, WE DON'T NEED WEAPONS!
- I'll take your blades when you're through with them.
- One moment you're running like the wind, then you've suddenly turned around and are giving him the finger. Furiously, with both hands. Why?!
- I want to rub it in his face when I beat him so bad he can't get up anymore.
- Hello Ranger. I have diabetes. Is there anything special I should know before climbing the mountain?
- Who's afraid of a little thunder?
- Water and Flying types. But not Ground types.
- You were bluffing.
- Never stopped me before.
- Can the Eel Come Out to Play?
- Good Night Everybody!
- Seven minutes. Seven minutes is all I can spare to play with you.
- I have no time for your entertainment. I just want you dead for good, Albert.
- Shove it up your ass.
- We're going to play a wonderful game called "who is your daddy and what does he do".
- I ask myself this every Christmas season: "What the *%@# is myrrh?"
- Myrrh is a character from Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones.
- Go Google it, chum.
- What happened to Roxxon being "here for us"?!
- Are you in pain?
- Should I summon the shark?
- a
- Famous Last Words.
- That would be incredibly impolite.
- "I'm having fish tonight!"
- Shove it up your ass.
- You said to swim in the water and to blow the shark whistle. I swam in the water, so now I'm gonna blow the whistle!
- I don't think the world is ready for a Sharknado reboot.
- Can you feel life, movin' through your mind?
- What? You don't recognize your girl's hair when you see it?
- Are there people in the machines we blow up?
- I'm sure they don't feel much except cold, supposing our safeguards stay in place, of course.
- Look! I can see their parachutes. They're okay.
- "They're just robots, Morty! It's OK to shoot them, they're just robots!" *PEW* "They're not robots, Rick!" "It's a figure of speech, Morty! They're bureaucrats, I don't respect them!"
- These machines are pure machines with no man inside.
- Can Hyrule's destiny really depend on such a lazy boy?
- Is it really that hard to outrun a statue?
- It's not even a statue in the first place. IT'S STING!
- The Lonely Assassins, that's what they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the Universe, or very nearly. And they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved. They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can. The angels are coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this: don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck.
- Was that an insult?
- Was it an Insult to Rocks?
- You figure it out.
- Can you tell me how to get to the station?
- Why are enemy ships coming out of the base?
- How can you do such terrible things to a cute hee-ho like me!?
- I’m sorry, Maxie! It’s just that… well, I’m An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000).
- Isn’t Master Kohga really dreamy?
- Who is Master Kohga?
- Does the carpet match the drapes?
- When I burn down the library, it's "disrespectful", but when I masturbate in it, THAT'S disrespectful, too?!
- YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS!
- It seems like politically correct culture is killing the comedy!
- Do you know how to conquer a monster’s heart?
- Wait! Are you planning on killing Damien's whole family?
- Yes, I will. I'm the Joker!
- But that's the point.
- Planning? Already have.
- Now do you remember? Who you are? What you were meant to do?
- I do. And my purpose is to erase you from history so I can fix my downer future.
- I remember… business…
- Three bullets?! How could you do this with three Goddamn bullets?!
- These guns aren't for show! I could have just done it with only one bullet if I wanted to.
- I'm gonna need a couple of lucky ricochets.
- Major, why do they keep exploding...?
- You played two hours to die like this?
- Death is just another test.
- You have no idea what death means to mortals, do you?
- I could never fall off / Imma stay fly / Imma live forever, I ain’t ever gonna die / Hater’s gonna hate / Let me see you try / Imma live forever, I ain’t ever gonna die / I be like (ooh-ooh) / I got some enemies / I betcha wanna push me off a balcony / But (ooh-ooh) / One thing ‘bout me / I don’t sleep, I could never R.I.P.
- I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you.
- Nobody is bullet-proof. "I work out, I eat clean!" Jesus, pass the Dramamine. Time to face the brutal truth, 'cause we're all on a hit list, might not live 'til Christmas, choke to death on Triscuits. Hey, that just statistics.
- How could you be so mean to us, Edgy-poo?
- Me? Mean to you? You started all this!
- Because I am a horrible goose.
- How's it feel to be rescuing the guy that killed your father?
- Can you solve every mystery, my master detective?
- Man, you ever put a baked ham in a woodchipper? I know I have!
- My father put a woodchipper in baked ham one time.
- For you, the moment I put baked ham in a woodchipper could come off as a big notable event. But for Me, It Was Tuesday.
- You reckon you got a chance against the Queen of Ki, I mean the King of Queens?
- 100 percent.
- Are you enjoying the Labyrinth of the Great Minertaur?
- You're the Great Minertaur, aren't you?
- It's a piece of cake.
- So, who is ready to make love to a giant bird?
- The Twitter bird?
- Hey! Yeah, you! I'm down here busting my ass while you sit on yours, watching me jump around? How is that fair?
- Who is responsible for those berserk red probes that keep attacking our ships?
- Have you nothing else to do but bother me?!
- Kairi's inside me?
- Hey, aren't you the boy who nearly drowned in nacho cheese?
- Can you come and get me? I'll pay you in backrubs!
- How'd you like a newspaper upside your head?
- Do you...have to vomit them out every time?
- What- Really? I was in the middle of something, do you have zero consideration for others?
- Oh, come on. Did you actually think you had a loving wife? Who'd want to commit their life to you?
- I don't want to seem c-confrontational, but could you be a little less... well... evil?
- Why did I agree to let your film crew in the palace?
- Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?
- Ugh. You kiss your mother with that face? Geez.
- Do robots have dicks?
- They can if you design them to have them.
- We gendered him male.
- Wubbadubbadub is that true?
- Can you collect a bounty on someone who doesn't die?
- You think I'm made of money?!
- Don't you hate getting killed by obscure secondary characters?
- It's better than dying to generic mooks.
- You kill me? A flunky!? I'm not just... Angel kills me!
- Is every day Halloween?
- It may be recommended to only set up picnics in normal places like in forests or campsites... But... where's the fun in that? What if I want to study the anatomy of a whale while I eat?
- Waiting for something to happen?
- A white door casts a faint shadow. What would you like to do?
- It's a long way down. Do you want to jump?
- Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill ya.
- The hole's dark and I can't see anything.
- You can watch as I float to the ground, gently as a leaf! GERONIMO!! (CRUNCH)
- But in his eagerness to prove that he is in control of the story and no one gets to tell him what to do, Stanley leapt from the platform and plunged to his death. Good job Stanley, everyone thinks you're very powerful.
- ♪ I gaze off into the boundless skyline ♪
♪ Note block choirs playing in the sunshine ♪
♪ Turn around, pick up my sword and wield ♪
♪ The blade that once forced evil mobs to yield... ♪ - Don't forget to bring the Long Fall Boots.
- “Unit … has an … inquiry. Does this unit have a … soul?”
- Who is this? How did they die?
- Ned Stark, played by Sean Bean. Cause of death: played by Sean Bean.
- Stratogale! April 23, '57; cape caught in a jet turbine!
- I forgot to drink water! Ha!
- Is that how you talk to someone that saved your life?
- Who the fuck puts a tree in the middle of the road?
- We found a bug in the level editor.
- This is literally the highway you take to go to school, bro, I don't want to hear it.
- Why does everyone blame everything on bears?
- What's the point of all this fighting?
- Who knows? Let's get brunch!
- I usually ask myself the same thing.
- What is the worth of a single mortal life?
- If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
- 100 souls!
- How about… two Scooby Snacks?
- I think it's like a "buy two get one free" sort of thing.
- Why do you keep feeding me cake?!
- How high can you try?
- You think you can delay your demise by telling stupid jokes?!
- I thought I had daddy issues, but you?
- Did you just leave your clothes on the kitchen floor?
- Who wants to sing?
- Who Is The Impostor?
- Hmm, how much C-4 is this gonna take?
- What are you waiting for?! Christmas?
- Yeah, who wouldn't want free presents?
- So did either of you guys see anything here remotely connected to detectives?
- Oh, nice computer you've got here! Can I have it?
- How are you such a simpleton?
- Do you have something less painful maybe?
- Hey, guys, when did you last see a digger win a race?
- Why does this seem like the end of some cheesy made-for-TV movie?
- But "evil" is that which is morally bad or wrong. And if your actions are judged by your society as correct, aren't you, in fact, good?
- "What should I do in Crusader Kings? ... Screw my sister, you say?"
- All this for a green square?!
- Do you guys not have phones?
- What's this weirdo doing here?
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