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Woman of Steel, Crotch of Kleenex.
"But the ball! In his groin! It works on so many levels!"
Homer Simpson (critique of amateur film "Man Getting Hit By Football"), The Simpsons

It's not always Played for Laughs, but seeing someone get struck in the crotch is usually just plain funny. Whether the object doing the striking is an errant piece of sports equipment or a deliberately placed foot, the end result is going to be a grown man doubled over and trembling with pain. Bonus points if he then hobbles away and says something in a high-pitched voice. Not only will everyone find this hilarious, but tape it and play it back for the guy and even he will probably laugh. At least, once the swelling goes down. Sometimes a cause of Amusing Injuries, especially if the victim is asking for it. In shows targeted at children, it's often a Dangerous Forbidden Technique, or at least treated as one in-story (see 3 Ninjas and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie). In Japanese media, the blow is often accompanied by the sound of a bell.

Effectively, this is a human-anatomy's version of Attack Its Weak Point for massive damage. A subversion of this is Balls of Steel, where a character — for whatever reason — does not take damage from a Groin Attack (or at least doesn't take extra damage).

This trope is made possible thanks to an interesting quirk in the human body's design; as the testicles function best at a temperature slightly lower than the core body temperature, this is why they hang slightly lower, and can be raised or lowered by reflex activity to ensure they stay at the right temperature in relation to ambient conditions. Thus, compared to other body parts, even the other ones typically seen as weak points (stomach, solar plexus, toes, etc), one's Crown Jewels are considerably less 'armoured', hence why striking them hurts so much.

This usually only applies to men. Female characters are rarely subjected to groin attacks of any kind, and when they are, they are also likely to just shrug off in a moment.note  Female genitals also lack the squish factor that comes from swinging in the wind. On the symbolic level, a groin attack on a male— especially if it's delivered by a female — represents that male being brought low by a well-placed blow to the very source of his masculine pride.

In contrast to most groin attacks, groin attacks that draw blood or involve some form of mutilation are very likely not to be Played for Laughs — and owing to the Primal Fear of bad things happening to our nether regions, particularly nasty attacks of this nature can be downright disturbing. Apart from being a hallmark of the Lust variant of the Serial Killer, this form of attack is most often used as either a particularly vicious form of Cold-Blooded Torture or as a way for Antiheroes to punish rapists and other sexual criminals, though a particularly vicious Combat Pragmatist may also use this tactic as just one more way to even the score or gain the upper hand in a fight. It may still come off as funny, though, if the guy is perceived as having brought it upon himself, such as having his gun go off in his pants. See Crippling Castration for examples of groin attacks that lead to the unfortunate victim losing his organs/the ability to procreate.

Along with Taser Tag Weakness, the Groin Attack also seems to be very effective against Superheroes and Supervillains, although some of them are immune.

Compare Freudian Threat. Very common from someone in Pervert Revenge Mode. For certain kinds of groin injuries (actual or threatened) specifically related to sexual encounters, see both Vagina Dentata and Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex. Also see Standard Female Grab Area for a similar incapacitating spot. Eye Scream, Fingore, and The Tooth Hurts are other primal fear reactions. The Distaff Counterpart to this trope is Breast Attack, although women can be subject to Groin Attacks as well, despite what the Female Groin Invincibility trope would have you think. Often utilized by a Combat Pragmatist, and commonly followed up by Instant Soprano and/or Share the Male Pain. Not an uncommon aftereffect of Tar and Feathers. May be used as part of a "Balls" Gag, though the overlap is smaller than one might think. Near-Miss Groin Attack is when an aversion of this trope is Played for Laughs.

It might involve a Sympathetic Wince and possibly a Universal Group Reaction.

In financial circumstances Hit Them in the Pocketbook is the monetary equivalent.

WARNING: No matter who you are, reading these may cause extreme paranoia about injury to the pubic area and wincing in sympathy pains. Also, this is never as funny in Real Life as it is on TV and can actually cause very nasty injuries, so unless you are in a real self-defense scenario, Don't Try This at Home!


Examples subpages:

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    Advertising 
  • This Turkish ad for Molped sanitary pads. "They [men] will never understand how much pain you feel some days," says the voiceover. So load a soccer ball into a cannon and shoot your boyfriend in the nads. In the end ladies get the last laugh.
  • Another Turkish sanitary pad ad. Evy Lady is being harassed during the wrong time of the month so she literally kicks her period/men in the balls.
  • Don't mess with Turkish women. In another ad a guy tears ladies' favorite dress so she beats him up and finishes the fight with a strike to his most delicate parts.
  • Beautiful Alexa Chung is at a doctor getting her cast removed. Just when the doctor gets too touchy, her reflex kicks in and she kicks his reproductive organs. He might need to visit the urologist afterwards.
  • In this Mars commercial a fight breaks out between a man and a woman for the last chocolate bar. In the end the lady wins by cracking his nuts.
  • In Costa Crociere commercial a man and a woman enter an elevator. Upon discovering that the lady might lose her cruise vacation spot to this man she uses her feminine beauty to seduce him. Instead of lifting her skirt up all the way, she takes him out by kicking him where it hurts the most.
  • A battle of the sexes is taking place in this Doritos commercial. A petite female against a massive tough guy. The fight starts and the lady simply knees him in the eggs and wins convincingly.
  • In an Airheads commercial, during a school play where the lead star is singing "The life of a sailor! That's the life for me", the other students were bored with the play, and one of the students eats an Airhead, causing his head to turn into a balloon, deflate across the room, knocking down sets, and hitting the lead character in the groin, with predictable results:
    Lead character: [oblivious to the deflating head going across the room] The life of a sail... [balloon head hits him in the balls, causing a zoom up on his face, as his voice grows high pitched] ...oooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! That's the life for me...!
  • This Rolling Rock commercial was banned, because it featured a ton of people getting hit in the nuts, thanks to a foul ball.
  • In the Netherlands' promotion for the M&M's "Peanutball", Red kicks said "Peanutball" to demonstrate its durability. It bounces around and hits him right between the legs. Red reacts appropriately, despite not having a groin to begin with.
  • Playing this trope along with Violent Glaswegian for laughs, Irn-Bru briefly had a commercial where a smacked vending machine retaliates by firing a can of Irn-Bru into the offender's groin. Rumor has it this offended enough people that the vending machine's revenge was turned into a Glasgow Kiss instead.
  • This Progressive commercial shows a woman using a voodoo website to punish her cheating boyfriend in various embarrassing and painful ways. At the end, while he's on a couch making out with an attractive lady, she drags a pair of pliers towards his crotch - and clicks. While the actual effect is left ambiguous, the man reacts by violently wincing in pain and his partner looking down at his groin with a concerned face.
  • There was Pepsi commercial during the Superbowl that, at some point, involved Justin Timberlake getting hit in the crotch several times by a mailbox post. For those who wanted to see it... The "hits keep on coming" at about the 30 second mark.
  • In another Superbowl Ad, Burt Reynolds gets hit in the groin - among the list of 20 different cliches of a Superbowl Ad.
  • One of the perfect ingredients for a Doritos commercial.
  • From the Parody Commercial Big Bill Hell's: "Don't wait! Don't delay! Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!"
  • This ad for John West involves a commercial fisherman fighting a grizzly bear over a salmon the bear has just caught. The man is losing until he manages to kick the bear in the balls.

    Asian Animation 
  • Simple Samosa: Implied in "Chhote Rajaji". The third victim of the spiciness epidemic, Cham Cham, contracts the condition when he puts on his shorts, suggesting it hit him right in the you-know-where. A pair of chili pepper pets are behind the epidemic, further implying this trope.

    Blogs 
  • Used repeatedly in the blog novel Fartago. Punching in the crotch seems to be Farta's preferred method of exacting retribution on Tago for any pain Tago causes Farta. Later justified as the pre-monolith tribe's method of exerting alpha male authority and punishing losing contenders, and also subverted in that the scene when the entire tribe lines up to punch a losing alpha male in the crotch is definitely not played for laughs. The cries of anguish of the abused loser depress Farta and Tago so much, they're unable to do anything but drink.

    Comic Strips 

    Jokes 
  • One morning, a man discovers an enormous gorilla in his front yard, destroying everything in sight. Terrified, he immediately calls his local animal control service. His local animal control agent sadly informs him that he can't do anything to help him, but he gives him the phone number of a professional "Gorilla Exterminator" who specializes in getting rid of fugitive gorillas. Desperate, the man calls the gorilla exterminator and begs him for help. The gorilla exterminator agrees to come over—but he tells the man that his partner is currently out of town, so he may need to help him. A few hours later, the exterminator arrives in a large van and finds the gorilla hiding in a tree. The man goes out to greet him, and the exterminator opens up the back of his van and shows off his tools: a baseball bat, an angry pit bull, and a loaded shotgun. The exterminator picks up the baseball bat, orders the pit bull to stand guard under the tree, and hands the shotgun to the man. Slowly and methodically, the gorilla exterminator explains his plan: he'll climb up the tree and attack the gorilla with the baseball bat until it falls out of the tree; when the gorilla falls out of the tree, the pit bull (which is specially trained) will immediately bite it in the testicles, incapacitating it just long enough for the gorilla exterminator to capture it in a net and drag it away. Puzzled, the man scratches his head. "Then what's the shotgun for?" he asks. "Simple!", the gorilla exterminator says. "If I fall out of the tree instead, shoot the dog."
  • Jane meets Tarzan in the jungle. She is immediately attracted to him and wants to have sex with him, but he says, "Tarzan not know sex." After Jane explains what it is, Tarzan says, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Jane says, "No, no, that's not how it's done! I'll show you." She takes off her dress and lies down in front of him. Tarzan removes his loincloth and kicks her as hard as he can in the crotch. After rolling around in pain for a few minutes, Jane gasps and says, "What did you do that for?!" Tarzan replies, "Check for squirrel."
  • Getting kicked in the balls is more painful than labor pains. Even after giving birth, people would still say "let's have another child", but no one who gets kicked in the balls ever say "hey, kick me in the balls again."

    Manhua 
  • In School Shock, Liu Li mistakes a peeping tom/Stalker with a Crush as an opposing military operative and attempts to get information on who he works for through torture. Naturally, the kid doesn't work for anybody so she decides to learn all she can through an interesting technique she saw in a film recently. After wrapping a ball in the end of a cloth, she swings it directly at the guy's groin and we see an egg crack and a Scream Discretion Shot. Later he's seen passed out.

    Manhwa 
  • In Hard Boiled Angel, the English translation of Korean police procedural manhwa Angel Dick, the lead character Lieutenant Jiran Ha is notorious for her frequent use of these:
    • She subdues several villains by kicking them in the groin.
    • In the first volume, she begins a "game" of hitting the office dork Detective Choe in the balls every time she sees him. This continues for the rest of the series. On the rare occasion he manages to avoid her punches and slaps, she gets him as soon as his guard's down. When he complains, she tells him that she has no intention of stopping, so he will have to either stay on his toes or learn to suck it up.
    • One of her colleagues offhandedly remarks that she once "kicked the Commissioner in the nuts".

    Music 
  • "Weird Al" Yankovic
    • In "I Can't Watch This" (which parodies MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This"), one line goes: "That's funny as a kick in the crotch/And that kind of show, I can't watch". The show he's referring to with those lines is America's Funniest Home Videos, which appears on the Live Action TV page for this trope.
    • During the list portion of Hardware Store, one of the items Al mentions is an "Automatic Circumciser."
    • The third verse of "Headline News" is about the real-life incident of Lorena Bobbitt cutting off her husband's penis.
  • Singer/comedian Heywood Banks composed an ode to this subject, "Trama to the Groin", which again brings up America's Funniest Home Videos's reliance on it.
  • The minifilm from Styx's Kilroy Was Here concerts featured Dennis DeYoung's character doing this. To a robot. After being inspired by the helpful booklet 'What Not To Do to Your Roboto'.
  • There are a lot of Groin Attacks in Emezie Okorafor's music videos:
  • Gorillaz:
    • In the music video "Clint Eastwood", Murdoc is chased by zombie apes, one of which grabs his crotch and pulls him to the ground. According to the biography, it really hurt.
    • The "Rock the House" video features him having billiard balls shot directly at his groin and bouncing them off an armoured codpiece.
  • The video for the Eels song "Rags to Rags" parodies an America's Funniest Home Videos-type show, so naturally, it includes several of these. Considering the song the video is for....
  • Happens to one of the robots in the video for "Warriors of Time" by Black Tide.
  • "Zip" by KMFDM:
    Don't get your (Sound-Effect Bleep) into the zip of your pants, cause it hurts you in the most sensitive part of your body
  • Lemon Demon's song, Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny contains the lines "Angels sang out in immaculate chorus / down from the Heavens descended Chuck Norris / who delivered a kick which could shatter bones / into the crotch of Indiana Jones..."
  • In The Lonely Island song Like a Boss, the titular boss, after a rejection and a failed suicide, starts to go on a series of crazy acts, including castrating himself.
    "Chop my Balls off! (LIKE A BOSS!)"
  • Mercedes Lackey's "Advice for Young Warriors" (one of many songs she made for her Heralds of Valdemar universe) contains the lines:
Treat sword-ladies like sisters, and not like some whore,/ Or your wenching days, child, will be few!
  • In "I Choose You To Die" by Starbomb, Pikachu shoots Ash in the nuts for beating up his Pokémon.
    I don't know if you've been shot in the nuts; spoiler: it sucks.
  • Jeff Foxworthy's "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" includes a few Christmas-themed "You might be a redneck" jokes, one of which is "If you think The Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive."
  • The Sex Pistols song “Friggin’ in the Riggin’” (and the original sea shanty it’s based on, “Good Ship Venus”) features two verses along these lines:
    “The Second Mate was Andy/By Christ, he had a dandy/Til we crushed his cock/With a jagged rock/For cummin’ in the brandy”
    “The cabin boy was Clipper/He was a fucking nipper/He stuffed his arse/With broken glass/And circumcised the skipper”
  • In the Tom Cardy song "Mixed Messages", the narrator flirts with his date by repeatedly punching her dad in the dick (he doesn't want to seem too eager, you see). It works too!
    "I say 'I love you' in a cute way, and then I punch your dad's dick every day!"
  • Emilie Autumn's "Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches" includes what may count as a female variation. "Ladies are like children / with brains the size of squirr'ls / let's give clitoridectomies to all the little / girls are helpless treasures ..."
  • Punch 'Em In The Dick, an ode to groin attacks.
  • Royce Da 5'9"'s "Part Of Me" tells the story of a guy who takes two women home from the bar, gets drugged and wakes up in a bathtub to find, well...
    "The letter reads: 'never ask for shit/'cause you can get more than you asked for/WE HAVE YOUR DICK!"
  • The Police: "Synchronicity II" has this line talking about a Bad Boss.
    And every single meeting with his so-called superior is a humiliating kick in the crotch
  • Cattle Decapitation's song Forced Gender Reassignment note  takes this to extremes. It also features a female variation which involves stapling a penis where the vulva is.
  • "Perpetrator Emasculation" by female Death Metal group Venom Prison is about force-feeding a rapist his own severed penis.
  • In the raunchy song "Poor Little Angeline", the blacksmith prevents the squire from raping Angeline by tying his balls into a knot.

    Myths & Religion 
  • Norse Mythology:
    • This trope being Played for Laughs is at least Older Than Print! The giantess Skaði (or anglicized as Skadi), whose father was killed by the Aesir, goes to them demanding reparations. Among her demands is making her laugh. Loki tries his hand at the task...by tying his testicles to a goat's beard and proceeding to have a tug-of-war contest with the goat. You better believe Skaði couldn't avoid laughing then.
  • In Greek Mythology:
    • The Titan Cronos cut off the genitals of his father Ouranos with the latter’s own sickle as he was about to have sex with Gaea and then took his father’s place as ruler of the world. If that wasn’t enough the severed genitals birthed Love Goddess Aphrodite after falling into the ocean.
      • In Tzetzes’s account groin karma does comes back to Cronos, as his son Zeus after rescuing his siblings from Cronos’ stomach castrates him as well.
    • Adonis was caught in a Love Triangle between Persephone and Aphrodite. Aphrodite won, and the jealous Persephone told Ares of Aphrodite's new lover. Ares turned into a boar and gored Adonis in the crotch.
    • Vincenzo de'Rossi's statue of Herakles wrestling King Diomedes shows one demigod, caught in a piledriver, countering by grabbing the other demigod's junk.
  • The Fisher King from the Parcival mythos. A spear got him in the hips...groins...whatever. (Your Bowdlerize may vary, see here for details.)
  • From Japanese Mythology , there's the legend of "Kanamara" ("steel penis"), where there's a demon who takes a liking to a Girl Next Door, and forcibly gives her a Vagina Dentata via Demonic Possession, and who inflicts this on at least two prospect grooms during their respective wedding nights. The third groom was a blacksmith who forged a "dildo" and tricked the demon into biting it instead of his cock, managing to shoo the demon away and get Happily Married to the grateful girl. The legend would be the origin of the rather infamous "Kanamara Matsuri"
  • The Bible:
    • In the Books of Samuel, Saul agrees to let David marry his daughter Michal only if David brings him 100 Philistine foreskins. David goes above and beyond by bringing him 200 foreskins. Mercifully, some translations point out that he killed them first.

    Pinballs 
  • Hitting Dracula in Monster Bash sometimes causes him to say a line implying that he's being hit in the crotch.
    Dracula: Not below the belt!

    Podcasts 
  • Multiple times in the Cool Kids Table game Homeward Bound 4. Jake the Deinonychus slips when trying to glide off a tree and attack a human, and ends up slamming his cloaca into the branches. Ironically, this was in an attempt to eat the nuts of a guy who had shot him previously. But after however many failures, he finally manages to eat them two-thirds through.
  • Sick Sad World: Implied during the Elliot Rodger case. One of the people Rodger murdered was stabbed 94 times, half of which were on his lower body. Dev remarks Rodger might have been working some things out.

    Radio 
  • One of the recurring Parody Commercials on Martin/Molloy was a promo for lowbrow Brit Com Ow! Me Plums!, which always consisted of an elaborate setup that resulted in the main character (voiced by Tony Martin) being hit in the groin and screaming his catchphrase "Ow! Me plums!"

    Roleplay 

    Tabletop Games 
  • In Inquisitor, a spin off of Warhammer 40,000, you can choose to aim for an opponent's groin. It causes a fair bit of damage, and leaves them almost useless for a turn. It's funny.
    • Some players have remarked about unusually accurate shots from meltaguns ("weaponised microwave oven" is a fairly accurate description) and chainswords.
      • In the Ork Codex, a mortally-wounded Warboss did this to a Daemon Prince as a kind of "parting shot". With a Power Klaw. Khorne was so impressed he resurrects the orks every day on that planet so they can fight and die and fight again. It's win-win.
    • Not quite played for drama or comedy, but Gabriel Seth of the Flesh Tearers Space Marines has a special rule that means he gains one attack every time an enemy unit rolls a 1 on a D6 when rolling To-Hit. This is supposed to represent him doing this along with headbutting and throat-biting. Yep. He's just like that.
  • I.C.E.'s Cyberspace had the following entry in the "Critical Failure: Melee" table: "Worst move seen in years. You take 60 pts of damage to your own groin. Opponent stunned for 3 rounds with laughter."
  • In Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, the Bretonian truffle hound is noted as becoming extremely jealous of any males in the vicinity after eating a truffle, and will take steps to rectify the situation. The consequences are not spelled out, but are still pretty obvious.
  • In GURPS, this is very effective, causing twice the normal shock penalty.
    • If you're small enough, the game allows you to upper-cut an enemy in the groin.
    • There's also the "Testicle Grab" technique.
    • If you randomly attack someone the groin is the second most likely part of the body to be hit.
    • A picture in High-Tech features a man being aimed at with targeting lasers... including a few pointed at his crotch
  • Werewolf: The Apocalypse has one entry on the Battle Scars table labeled simply "Ahem..." The injured spot isn't named, but it's specified that you are now immune to seduction attempts, unable to seduce others, and (if male) sterile.
  • In Hackmaster, gnome titans have a special "groin stomp" attack, and characters can perform a "groin punch" attack.
  • The Celestial Monkey martial arts style in Exalted lets you make a called shot to an opponent's primary virtues, as represented by areas of the body. In Valor's case, said area is the groin (something of a pun on "balls of steel"). This does up to five levels of lethal damage depending on the enemy's courage, which is impressive considering that just-starting Exalts and heroic mortals only have seven. (You can punch a moderately-brave extra in the crotch so hard he dies. Never let it be said that Exalted does anything by halves.) This is bonus damage in addition to whatever damage got past their soak, making it possible to kill an Exalt with a kick to the nuts.
  • Perhaps showing The Monster Squad as one of its influences, Grimm has an advantage that can be taken by PCs who already have the advantage "Dirty Fighting" called "Right In The Nards!", and the rules on combat feature an illustration of a kid kicking a wolf-man in the crotch.
  • The fan created netbook "Guide To Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" for AD&D features "The Rack Critical Hit Table," which shows the various results of a male character getting "racked."
  • Paranoia supplement Acute Paranoia, adventure "Miami Laser". At the end of the adventure, after the "Miami Laser" show replaces the Teela O'Malley show, any surviving Troubleshooters are attacked by rabid Teela O'Malley fans. One of the attacks they use is a knee to the groin.
  • Implied by the "Psycho Squirrel" monster in Munchkin, as it will not attack females, or characters wearing the "spiked codpiece" item. And its "bad stuff" is "speak in a high squeaky voice until next turn".
  • Seth Farrow, recurring villain in Scion, took a shotgun blast to the groin the night he murdered his nephew Horace's family. It's never stated outright, but it's clearly implied he lost his genitals; most notably, when a captured Donnie Rhodes greets him with "How they hangin'?", Seth pulls a knife on him (Kane barely keeps him from using it).
  • Iron Crown Enterprises: Any location based damage in HARP or Rolemaster with a hit location of "Abdomen and Groin".
  • Shadowrun. In the short story "Plus ça Change" at the beginning of the 2nd Edition main rules, the street samurai Nameless kicks a Rat shaman in the groin to prevent him from casting a spell.
  • Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeon magazine adventure "Flowfire". A half-ogre named Thrash Groin-Guard has a spike on the knee of his armor. He can strike twice with the spike per round, aiming for his opponent's groin. To add insult to injury the spike is poisoned, doing 1-6 additional Hit Points of damage per minute.
  • According to the Vampire: The Masquerade book House of Tremere, the Tremere stronghold of Ceoris was actually created through one of these. Back in the days when Tremere and his followers were still mortal mages, the most powerful of his House gathered in the mountains of Transylvania to ritually consecrate the site of their intended chantry: said ritual commenced with Goratrix willingly castrating himself with a sickle and using his own severed genitals as a sacrificial offering. For good measure, after Ponticulus had to be sacrificially decapitated for accidentally interrupting the ritual, Etrius decided to compound the sacrifice by putting Goratrix's amputated penis in the severed head's mouth note . And in a final insult, Goratrix - who'd only committed to this act of sacrifice in the knowledge that magic could heal these kind of injuries - discovered that his regeneration left a lot to be desired.

    Theatre 

    Theme Parks 

    Website 
  • LiveJournal:
  • A meme on r/AnarchyChess is to claim that there's a secret rule in Chess that allows you to counter En Passantnote . Namely, you can simply No-Sell it, but in exchange, you have to have a heavy brick dropped on your groin.
  • From the SCP Foundation:
    • One result from testing SCP-914 on a stress ball was a stress ball that would throw itself at the face of the nearest person every 1 to 5 minutes. If the face was protected, the ball would alternatively target either the stomach or crotch.
    • A rubber ball inserted on Very Fine proceeded to bounce around the facility, looking for Researcher Darby at crotch level. It was destroyed before an injury could occur.

URGGGH, my GROIN!

Alternative Title(s): Groin Kick, Widowmaker, Ballbust, Cuntpunt

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