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Radio / Martin/Molloy

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Martin/Molloy was an Australian radio programme starring Tony Martin and Mick Molloy, both formerly of The D-Generation and The Late Show (1992). It was broadcast nationwide on 54 radio stations for two hours on weekday evenings between 1995 and 1998.

The programme was known for its wit and satire, but also, as both performers constantly admitted, a large degree of Toilet Humour. The use of such low-brow comedy was frequently mocked by the hosts themselves. Much of the show consisted of banter between Martin and Molloy, interspersed with music and sketches. These sketches frequently lampooned celebrities, with impersonations provided by Martin. The show's announcer, Pete Smith regularly participated in sketches.

The pair would also interview celebrities, often bringing the guests to fits of laughter. Samuel L. Jackson was declared their favourite guest.

Three compilation albums of best bits were released: The Brown Album, Poop Chute and Eat Your Peas.

Tropes? What's all that about?

  • Ballistic Discount: Tony and Mick did a bit on how gun store owner is one of the most dangerous occupations in the movies because of this trope.
  • Bolt of Divine Retribution: When the Pope John Paul II visited Australia, the show suggested this would be the fate of anyone who hadn't kept up on their Bible study.
    Pope: Heya you! Tella me whatta happened at the Last Supper.
    Molloy: Well I'm sorry your Popeness, but I lost my dinner jacket and—ZAPPPP!!!!
  • Casanova Wannabe: Haughty Mick was a character played by Molloy who spoke in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe and offered his 'seduction tips' to the listeners. ..although, he proved his tips to be unsuccessful as his bad pick up lines always got a knock back from the damsels/wenches, often accompanied by physical violence.
  • Dumbass DJ: "The Tum and Phul Morning Show" skits were about a pair of DJs who attempt to be this but are woefully ill-equipped to pull it off.
  • Groin Attack: One of the recurring Parody Commercials was a promo for lowbrow Britcom Ow! Me Plums!, which always consisted of an elaborate setup that resulted in the main character (voiced by Tony Martin) being hit in the groin and screaming his Catchphrase "Ow! Me plums!"
  • I Call Him "Mister Happy": The character Haughty Mick refers to his penis as 'Yul Brynner'.
  • Insane Proprietor: Tony Martin posited that many of these proprietors might not really be insane at all, and then showed what an ad made by a truly insane proprietor might be like. It ended with the proprietor holed up in the attic taking potshots at the police and the announcer screaming about bats coming out of the walls.
  • Insane Troll Logic: While riffing on a list of suspicious behaviours the New Zealand police sent to hotels so they'd be alert for suspected drug dealers.
    "May receive unusual visitors... Mr Molloy, the entire cast of Babylon 5 is here to see you!"
  • Just the Introduction to the Opposites: After a news story about two pensioners who were arrested after an argument over a poker machine turned into a violent punch up, Mick Molloy launched into a spiel about how old people today had no respect for authority and how teenagers were sitting at home at night, too scared to go out because of the gangs of old people roaming the streets, and how what old people needed was another dose of national service.
  • Large-Ham Announcer: Pete Smith would often do this; frequently parodying his famous Sale of the Century introduction.
  • Must Have Caffeine: The "Coffee Squad" sketch was a parody of The Bill, in which a police team dealing with a hostage situation spends the entire time working out the best way to get coffee.
  • Niche Network: A fake ad for the show's fictitious pay TV network which included "the Hat Blocking Channel. All hat blocking, all the time. <Beat> We don't know what we were thinking either."
  • One-Joke Fake Show: The fake ads for lowbrow Brit Coms That's My Pint! and Ow! Me Plums!, all which ended with the protagonist saying his Catchphrase, which was also the show's title, with the implication this was the only joke the shows had.
  • Parody Commercial: A regular feature on the show, despite it airing on commercial radio. Many were one-offs, but Tony and Mick became so enamoured of some of the characters/products involved that they returned multiple times, such as 'The Martin/Molloy Pay TV Network'.
  • Pinocchio Nose: The Parody Commercial for "Liar Liar Pants On Fire jeans" that would burst into flames whenever the wearer told a lie.
  • Saw a Woman in Half: This particular trick was discussed after a TV special where magician David Copperfield seemingly cut himself in half, with the hosts noting how David Copperfield's lower half seemed much shorter than it should have been. This was followed by a discussion of the poor man scrunched up in the bottom of the box, and what a terrible job being David Copperfield's arse would be, eventually describing it as "the worst job in show business"..
  • Toilet Humor: Lots. The "Blimpy, the Lactose Intolerant Cat" sketches were built entirely around it.
  • To the Tune of...: After holding a listener competition to determine the'7 Wonders of Australia'—composed of bizarre local attractions that tourists would never know about, such as Bum Rock and the Tree of Knowledge—Mick and Tony composed "The New National Anthem" honouring all seven, sung to the tune of Australia's existing national anthem "Advance Australia Fair".
  • The Trope Formerly Known as X: At the time when Prince was "the Artist Formerly Known as Prince", Tony and Mick did a bit about how his close friends get to call him 'Formerly'.
  • Trophy Violence: After winning an ARIA (for best comedy album), Tony and Mick did a bit on their show about how the ARIA is the spikiest of all awards (which is Truth in Television) and how easily you could put someone's eye out with one.
  • Wiki Walk: Guest John Clarke opined that the internet was like the modern version of the dictionary. You'd open the dictionary to look up the word 'perspicacity', and three hours later you're discovering all of these new and interesting words but still haven't learned what 'perspicacity' means.