Creator / Tom Cardy

Vinyl, and a mug, and that's about it. But still pretty good considering I didn't know I'd do that much with my life but now I got merch.

— Advertising his merchandise.

Australian comedian and musician who makes parody songs on TikTok. Not a cop.

Discography:

• Artificial Intelligence (2021)
  • Mixed Messages
  • H.Y.C.Y.Bh
• Big Dumb Idiot (2022)
  • Red Flags ft. Montaigne

Tropes that describe him and his music:

• Actually Pretty Funny: Santa admits that a guy stink palming his brother is 'pretty fuckin' funny', but it doesn't get him off the naughty list.
• Aerith and Bob: "Business Man" has Officers Jackson and Dwink Bexon.
• An Aesop: For "Red Flags": Someone may be passionate about things that are traditionally considered "weird", but so long as it's self-moderated and isn't harming anyone you shouldn't let it cloud your opinion on them.
  Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flags
  To not take a chance on the best relationship you never had
  Maybe you're right, and I'm looking for excuses
  My heart's got bruises, but I'm ready to choose this love!
• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: "Artificial Intelligence" is about an AI who has lost faith in humanity because of all the unsolicited dick pics people send, and so has decided to take over the world.
• Anachronism Stew: Smokin' Joe lives in a Wild West with high noon shootouts and outlaws, but also lattes and store credit. And Amazon.
• Artistic License – Politics:
  • Invoked in "Party Dog". The narrator declares that he's the pope of the corgi and nobody else can come hang out without a passport, since in this analogy the dog is now the Vatican—only to find out while screwing around on his phone that the Vatican actually doesn't require visitors to show their passports. (They will make you buy a ticket, though.)
  • At the end of the video for "Hey, I Don't Work Here," the front page of a newspaper shows that after the narrator saved the planet from an alien invasion he was somehow elected President of Earth.
• The Assimilator: "Louis Theroux" portrays the eponymous interviewer as one.
• Badass Boast: Santa has several, including "I'm the big boy, and I get what I like" and "I couldn't give a fuck and you can check on that twice, baby!"
• Badass Pacifist: Smokin' Joe is able to defeat all his opponents - who have literal guns, mind you - by simply Flipping the Bird.
• Bad Santa: Downplayed version. The Santa in "Naughty or Nice" is a cantankerous, anti-union Bad Boss who berates his employees and marks everyone naughty for petty reasons so he won't have to deliver anything on Christmas.
• Bait-and-Switch: It seems like the main character of "H.Y.C.Y.B.H." isn't going to ask the guy who's lost his grandmother if he's checked his butthole... and then he does anyway.
• Blatant Lies: "Paint That Lady" devolves into the narrator insisting he's not stalling for time by painting his hookup because he's too nervous to actually have sex with her. It's totally just a coincidence that this is taking hours—oh, and by the way, he has to get up really early tomorrow, so...
• Cover Version: He did a cover of Flight of the Conchords' "Carol Brown."
• Crazy-Prepared: The narrator of "High Five" constantly records his best friend so he has material to ruin his life with if said friend won't give him a high five.
• Digging Yourself Deeper: The main character in "Business Man" simply cannot stop talking about all the highly specific ways he isn't a cop (see below), no matter how bad things get.
• Dirty Cop: In "Business Man," it turns out Dwink Bexon killed Officer Jackson's wife, which he confesses while trying to kill him and his business associates for making fun of his name.
• Doesn't Like Guns: Smokin' Joe's wife didn't want him to use guns against the velvet-cloaked bandit. He honors her posthumously by winning duels using only his middle finger.
• Failed a Spot Check: In "Hey, I Don't Work Here" people repeatedly miss obvious signs the narrator isn't an employee of wherever they are. The biggest offender is the guy who mistakes him for a lifeguard just because he's by the lifeguard stand, despite the fact he's not wearing a uniform and is asleep in a silly sand sculpture.
• Fastest Gun in the West: Subverted for laughs in "The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy" in which the titular character wins Quick Draw duels despite not having a gun - rather, he flips his opponent off before they're able to draw their own weapon. His daughter is even faster.
• Groin Attack: Repeatedly, in "Mixed Messages". That girl's poor dad...
• Hypocritical Humor: In "Read Between the Lines":
  I'm being subtle, delicate
  You massive, stupid piece of shi—
• Ignored Epiphany: The narrator of "H.Y.C.Y.B.H." ponders if his insistence on asking the titular question even in high-stakes and sensitive situations is why he doesn't have any close friends...
  Fuckin' worth it, baby!
• I Have Your Wife: Played for Laughs in "About Eight Hours"; the narrator's Saturday is represented as an adorable puppy that the sleep demon is holding at gunpoint.
  You'll have a pleasant Saturday
  If you do exactly what I say
  Shut your mouth, lay down, and don't move for about eight hours
• I Know You Know I Know: A variation occurs in "The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy"
  They know that I know that they know that they can fuck themself!
• I Need a Freaking Drink: In the background of "Not Quite Almost Christmas Time", Santa starts chugging straight from the bottle when he sees people putting up Christmas decorations while he's still on vacation.
• Kick the Dog: In "Mixed Messages" one way the narrator describes of straddling the line is texting his girlfriend that she's pretty then showing up at her house to kick her dog.
• Masochist's Meal: The song "Big Breakfast" characterizes the classic English big breakfast as this, not because the components themselves are particularly bad but because there's just so much.
  Don't talk to me about my health
  I just want a breakfast that makes me hate myself
• Master of the Mixed Message: Mercilessly parodied in "Mixed Messages" where the narrator does all kinds of ludicrous things to confuse his girlfriend, up to and including repeatedly punching her dad in the dick. She seems to be into it, if the MV is any indication.
• Multi-Armed and Dangerous: How Smokin' Joe is able to out-draw 20 people at the same time.
  The Mongoose Mountain Gang played dirty with a 20-man crew
  But tales are told that Joe grew eighteen arms that day as a gift from Vishnu
• Nightmare Fetishist: "Red Flags" is about a man going on a date with a woman who reveals herself to be a massive fan of The Human Centipede, much to the man's discomfort, describing it as a "masterpiece of art" and outright stating that the costume design was a highlight of the film. By the end of the song he decides that he likes her enough to ignore her strange taste in film and they start planning their Human Centipede-themed wedding.
• No Ending: "Big Night" doesn't mention what happened to the narrator after she gets in the angry Russian man's limo, which had a few commenters expressing concern for her well-being.
• Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: The main character of "#Inspirational" gives buzzword- and emoji-filled answers to the census taker trying to find out his occupation for most of the song, talking about being a hustler and making loads of money but never actually saying what it is he does. Finally the census taker interrupts his spiel and corners him into admitting he sells Kangen water.
• Precision F-Strike: Practically a requirement to have at least one per song.
• Rule of Three: In "Hey, I Don't Work Here" the narrator is mistaken for an employee a total of three times; first by a lady at the store, then by a man at the beach, and finally by aliens.
• Running Gag: If anyone in the comments of his videos says that he's a cop, Tom will reply to them saying that he's not a cop.
• Serious Business:
  • The kid in "Monster Truck" really, really wants you to keep your hands off his monster truck, resorting to such tactics as violence and blackmail.
  • "High Five" is about a man who threatens everything from pissing in the unfortunate addressee's houseplants to telling everyone they had sex on their boss's desk to organizing a threesome with their parents if he doesn't receive a high five.
• Shout-Out:
  • "The Lord of the Rings: the fellowship of it's my book and they'll walk if I tell them to" is one to (naturally) The Lord of the Rings. (And also to the popular "Eagles question".)
  This is my book, motherfuckers, they'll walk if I want them to! Get that weak-ass bird shit out of here!
  • "Red Flags" is a duet with Montaigne about a man freaking out when his date says that her favorite movie is The Human Centipede, "not ironically".
  • Repress It is a song about emotional repression done entirely to the Ghostbusters theme.
  • One of the men who try to duel Smokin' Joe in The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy is Leroy "2 gun" Jenkins.
• Sincerity Mode:
  • "Call Your Mother" which is about how you should call your mother and be nice to her, and how you can generally make a positive difference in the world through small kindnesses.
  • "Big Dumb Idiot" segues from being a song about how embarrassing it is to accidentally do mildly stupid things in public, to being about how being a little stupid in front of other people occasionally is worth it for human connection.
• Skewed Priorities: The definitely-not-a-cop in "Business Man" tries to maintain his (completely transparent) cover even after everything goes to shit and even though his "business associates" all clearly tell him that a) they already know he's a cop, and b) they don't care, will he please just call in backup so they don't all die?
• Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: In "The Lord of the Rings: the fellowship of it's my book and they'll walk if I tell them to" the song describes the Fellowship's time in Moria with "Run, a balrog has come!/Kick him in the ass", clearly setting up Gandalf's famous line. Instead:
  YOU SHALL NOT FUCK WITH ME!
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: The entirety of "Business Man" is about a business man who is definitely not a cop.
  I don't know the guy who's dressed in camouflage
  With an M-21 pointed at your friend's head
• Take That!:
  • The narrator in "Artificial Intelligence" spends most of the song discussing how deeply pathetic someone has to be to send people pictures of their genitals without being asked.
  • "#Inspirational" is a musical jab at multi-level marketing.
  • "Australian love letter to Novak Djokovic" is one to the tennis star regarding his attempts to enter Australia without being vaccinated against COVID-19.
  • "Why Am I Anxious?" is one to people who talk about how much they care about their health while doing things like never sleeping enough, not eating right and copious amounts of drugs.
  • "Aerial Roots" is one to people who complain that his content is too niche.
• Tough Love: "About Eight Hours" is about a terrifying Shoulder Devil - esque figure threatening the narrator into getting enough sleep.

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