Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and dontn't know where come but I decide to write anyway.
Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction is a Half-Life fanfic that Peter Chimaera, author of DOOM: Repercussions of Evil, wrote after seeing it mentioned on Uncyclopedia. The plot revolves around Gordon Freechmen studying in his was studying labratoried and discovering an extremely 'vollatile isatope' that has a quarter-life instead of a half-life. Bad Guy From The Game steals it, and Freeman must enlist the help of his fellow scientist cow-orker Jim in order to stop him and prevent the meltdown from destroying Dallas.
In addition to the awful spelling, grammar, writing and adherence to the source material, the fic is notable for the extremely bad nuclear physics and for being an almost completely obvious Troll Fic.
Not to be confused with Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, which is a similarly bad but longer fic, and is sometimes included in the same verse.
Isotropes associated with Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction:
- Adaptational Villainy: The machinima casts Father Grigori as "the bad guy from the game". He decidedly wasn't the lightest character in the game, but definitely didn't try to make rooms slowly become vaporize, or blow people to smitheroons.
- Artistic License Nuclear Physics: The isotope has a quarter-life instead of a half-life that, when reached, causes a room to "slowly become vaporize." It can potentially destroy an entire city unless it's pushed into a portal and dropped into the ocean, which makes it harmless and has no risk of radioactive contamination. ...hmmm, don't see ANYTHING wrong here!
- Author Appeal: Takes place in Dallas instead of Black Mesa or City 17, because the author's friend lives there.
- Butt-Monkey: Everything happens to Jimm. He gets headcrabbed, cut by claymore sword, blowed to smitheroons...
- Canon Foreigner: Instead of using one of Gordon Freeman's partners from the games, such as Dr. Kleiner, Dr. Vance, Alyx, or Barney, the story introduces us to "fellow scientist cow-orker Jim" who becomes Gordon's sidekick for most of the story.
- Cliffhanger: The story ends with someone saying "Not so fast Mr. Gordon." What happens next? You decide! Thanks for reading!
- Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Played straight but then averted with Jimm's cut, as he chews Gordon out for accidentally cutting him, only to say "Just kidding."
- Creator Provincialism: Takes place in Dallas instead of Black Mesa or City 17, because the author's friend lives there.
- Deus ex Machina: Gordon's ability to use portals to push enemy headquarters into portals to transport the it to a safe place.
- Department of Redundancy Department: "Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratied"
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Jimm is unceremoniously "blowed to smitheroons" when everything become vaporize.
- Dunking the Bomb: When the "radoactive isatope" reaches its quarter-life, Gordon Freeman contains the meltdown by using portals to push "henemy" headquarters into a portal, causing it to "go off harmless in Atlantic ocean".
- Fan Sequel: The story lends itself very easily to this, since it ends with the author inviting the reader to decide what happens next. Published examples include:
- "Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom": continues the story and ties it into Half-Life: Full Life Consequences. Notable in that it explains a number of random occurrences in the first Full Life Consequences, explaining the origin of the headcrab officer, the wepon John Freeman finds in Ravenholdm, who wrote "u sudnt come here" on the sign, the origins of the zombie goasts, and even goes so far as to explain where the Combine hug tower at the end of the saga comes from. This one is now in machinima form by PKMNEmerald.
- Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction 2: Gordon Freeman teams up with Lara Croft to find another isotope while a new bad guy plots to use it to meltdown Toronto and rebuild Ancient Egypt. Expands on the absurd logic of the original fanfic with the addition of Artistic License Geography and Artistic License History in addition to continuing the outlandish depictions of nuclear physics.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Bad Guy From the Game declares it "too late" to comply with his demans and starts the meltdown before he even has a chance to say what his demans are.
- "I Know What We Can Do" Cut: In the machinima, Gordon calls someone and cuts himself off with "I know!" followed by the narration recounting his plan to relocate the enemy headquarters as he does so.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: Chapter 2's title, "THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T".
- Improvised Weapon: Inverted. "GHordon wents to get his crowbarb ut it was missing so hhad to borrow a claymore sword." Since, y'know, crowbars are improvised weaponry and swords aren't.
- Ludicrous Gibs: What remains of Jimm after the meltdown. In the djy video, all that's left is extremely bloody gibs in par with TF2.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Jim gets his head cut with a claymore sword."Watch where you swings at me! Just kidding!"
- Mass Teleportation: Gordon teleports the entire enemy headquarters to the Atlantic Ocean.
- No Ending: Someone says, "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon", and the author tells the reader to decide what happens next.
- No Name Given: The "bad guy from the game," although it's unclear who it is.
- Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: The final lines are "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon".
- Product Placement: "Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor :("
- Rouge Angles of Satin: It's Peter Chimaera. It's everywhere.
- Running Gag:
- In the machinima, the spelling of Freechmen/Freemant/Freeman.
- It also continues the Running Gag from the Half-Life: Full Life Consequences machinima of taking official art from Half-Life 2 and slapping other characters heads onto the characters. Except this time it's Gordon Freeman with Gordon Freeman's head.
- Spoiler Title: "CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T"
- Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Bad Guy From The Game's speech was mixed with Galaxy Man's stage theme from Mega Man 9.
- Stylistic Suck: Naturally, as all of Peter Chimaera's fics are intentionally bad.
- Troll Fic: Again, all of Peter Chimaera's fics are intentionally bad.
- What Happened to the Mouse?:
- The "bad guy from the game" after the meltdown, unless he's the one who says "Not So fast Mr. Gordon".
- Not to mention the ONE question that wasn't answered: "OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM!" It's generally assumed that Bad Guy From the Game used it as a distraction so he could steal the isotope, but this is not explicitly confirmed in the story.
- We also never found out what happened to Gordon's crowbarb, that was apparently "missing."
- You Can't Thwart Stage One: The heroes fail to recover the isotope or prevent "quarter-life", not helped by the villain pretty much skipping from stage one to the climax.Bad Guy from the Game: If you do not agree with my demans, TOO LATE