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And this is only the title screen.

You will regret everything!
Carbon
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Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors is an unofficial Recursive Translation patch of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door by Fatguy703. After getting a letter and a magical card from Princess Peach, Mario sails to the city of Rogueporto to find her. However, when Mario arrives, Peach is nowhere to be found. At the advice of Honesty Professor Caesar Reality, Mario journeys across the land and gathers the Crystal/Christian/Glass Stars, while a Great Offscreen War lingers in the background.

A bit over a year later, Fatguy703 created another unofficial patch to cover the game's predecessor, Paper Mario 64. The story starts similarly to the base game, but soon takes a dramatic turn away from it, eventually showing the start of the War from Thousands of Doors and the unexpected role Mario plays in the game's events.

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Fatguy703's Thousands of Doors streams can be found here, and his 64 streams here.


But the truth is, I'm gonna trope my father. Him. All.

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    General 
  • Adaptation Name Change: All over the place, and not just for characters. For example, Goombella becomes Goombell, Koops becomes Carbon, Super Mushrooms become Super Presidents and so on.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: Frequently. Goverman probably takes the cake however, going from the innocent and analytical Goombario to a racist, highly-bigoted asshole who hates basically everything.
  • Ambiguous Gender: Quite a few characters end up being this due to the translation being a bit inconsistent with certain characters' pronouns.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Many phrases in both games were translated into a particular languages and didn't make it back, most notably "Caeau Blodaua" in 64 being Welsh for Flower Fields.
  • Blatant Lies: The end-of-chapter narration doesn't always match up with what's actually happening.
  • "Blind Idiot" Translation: Invoked with the ridiculous translations.
  • Canon Foreigner: The translation quirks sometimes invent new characters out of whole cloth, such as Invictissimi, a human skeleton mentioned in a quiz show and a letter.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Just about everyone, thanks to the translation. This includes the narrator and caption boxes at times.
  • Decomposite Character: In vanilla Paper Mario Merleau is the same character as Merlee, but here they are separate characters, with Merleau appearing in 64 and Merlee in Thousands of Doors.
  • The Ghost: Many original characters and relatives of existing characters are mentioned but never seen, like Marc, a mysterious third Mario brother, Belda's wife, and Invictissimi.
  • Great Offscreen War: An offscreen war is frequently mentioned in Thousands of Doors, and its origins are explored in 64. The Persian Empirenote , The Koop Kingdomnote , and the 10-Nautiesnote  are the primary superpowers fighting in it, though what it's being fought over is...unclear. Turns out it's because the Stellarvinden, while controlling Mario, consumed all the peaches and caused a global shortage.
  • Guide Dang It!: Comes with the bad translation territory. The directions on what to do and where to go are usually replaced with complete nonsense.
  • I Have Many Names: Many characters, places, and objects are referred to with many different names thanks to inconsistent translations.
  • Informed Ability: The translation occasionally mentions abilities the partners have that we never see them use. For example, it claims that Viviana can shoot enemies with shadowed loudspeakers, and Goverman can download the infinity of time.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Most of the names and terms have been mangled horribly. It would be easier to list examples of what doesn't have a name that typically refers to something completely different.
  • Obligatory Swearing: In spades. This includes dialogue and the names of certain enemies (Spiked Goombas become Fuckin' Goombas, etc.)
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Cake is a favored treat in the Kingdom of Fungi, with Grubba, Flavio, Hawc Green, TAYCO D, Grodan, Peach, and Gourmet all loving cake.
  • Uniqueness Value: Peaches apparently have this. Enough so that after Mario, under the control of the Stellarvindenn, causes a global peach shortage near the end of 64, the War occurs.

    Thousands of Doors 
  • Adaptational Sexuality: While it's never mentioned what orientation Hooktail is, her Book of Mario equivalent, Hoko Saba, tries to be homosexual and mentions having a wife.
  • Adaptational Villainy: Koops is a shy young man with low self-confidence who wants to be brave and strong enough to protect his loved ones. Carbon, by contrast, has a bit of a god complex and talks about wanting to kill his father and destroy his own home town, and actually ends up accomplishing the latter.
  • Artifact of Doom: Played for Laughs. When Mario and co. get the second Glass Star, their victory is marked with the cheerful announcement of "You have a disease!"
  • "Awesome McCool" Name: Honesty Professor Caesar Reality is quite a step up from "Professor Frankly".
  • Big Stupid Doo Doo Head: Goombell's "You are ridiculed! Eww!".
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Lampshaded by a saleswoman in Rogueporto who says "I'm sure someone like me does not makes sense."
  • Damned by Faint Praise: Using Tattle on a Goomba:
    Goombell: Ahem... It says: "Goomba is up." ...this is wonderful!
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Afternoon City is described as "always wonderful and wonderful."
  • Floating Continent: Glitz City is a town floating in the sky, but by the end of the chapter it apparently sinks underwater.
  • Foreshadowing: The translation sometimes pulls this off by accident:
    • During Mario's first fight in the Pitty Glitz in Section 3, Mr. Mr. Prosecutor Grubba introduces him with the title "New Hammer Wanted". Mario does get a new hammer later on in the same Section.
    • When Browser shows up to challenge Mario during Section 3, Grubba asks "Is it alive?". Maybe he could tell that this version of Browser is a copy made from glass, as we learn later in the game.
  • From the Mouths of Babes: Li'l Fat the baby Yoshi is one of the more foul-mouthed characters in the game, presumably due to her egg spending so much time hanging out in the Pitty Glitz locker room.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?: Hoko Saba is described as "hard, especially when it's lost, and will try to be homosexual."
  • Hostile Show Takeover: Doopley pulls this during the fake ending of Section 4's narration where he writes a completely false and nonsensical summary of the chapter's epilogue.
  • No Fair Cheating: Prof. Reality tells Mario not to cheat during the Special Move tutorial. Even though the game has no means of detecting cheating.
  • Noodle Incident: A few of these pop up throughout the game:
    • During the first Peach interlude, we get this line from Peach:
    Peach: I can't believe I'm arrested again. Mario and Toadsworth worry. Again.
    • When you first meet Make, he'll mention that he worries about his second car accident.
    • A bit later, he also explains to Mario how the Big Tree is where his people live in punishment. It's never explained what they are being punished for.
  • Organ Theft:
    • Koo Koopie mentions in an e-mail that she hears Hoko Saba's intestines in Carbon's house and decides to steal them so they can be her father.
    • A few downplayed examples crop up here and there, separate from this. For instance, Mr. Mowz introduces himself as "The Nipple World Thief," it's not clear if that means he steals from a world made of nipples, or steals nipples from around the world, but in both cases, he steals nipples.
  • Resurgent Empire: The Persian Empire was formed by the Princess of Peaches sometime after 64 when the Kingdom of Fungi collapsed.
  • Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: When Make returns to the tree, Punisher tells him that the other punies were struck... by death! It later turns out that Punisher was mistaken, as Mario and the others later find the other punies imprisoned.
  • Shaped Like Itself: The "legendary legend" of Rogueporto.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: While you won't see both lines on the same playthrough, both Goombell and Sir Snow apparently mistook Hawc Green for the Glass Star at some point according to their lines in the Champion's room after defeating Hawc Green.
  • Suddenly Ethnicity: The Yoshi Kid reveals that she has N-Word Privileges when she shouts it aloud during the final confrontation with the Queen of Shadows.
  • Underwater City:
    • When he bursts into the Pitty Glitz to attack Mario in Section 3, God Browser claims that the city is falling, and the end-of-chapter narration states that it is now underwater.
    • Subverted with Rogueporto. The narrator mentions that "It's water", but when you actually visit it, it clearly isn't.
  • Your Soul Is Mine: Zess T. demands Mario's soul from him when he steps on her contact lens.

     64 
  • Achilles' Heel: Parakarius is apparently incredibly weak to an ability held by the Swallows. Allegedly.
  • Adaptational Nice Guy: While Tubba Blubba from the original Paper Mario isn't the biggest jerk ever, he's still an Anti-Villain at the end of the day. Saint Tony Tubbs Fat, on the other hand is a straight up Hero Antagonist, victim of a satanic sacrifice by Lady Garlic.
  • Anti-Villain: Almost every major boss has heroic or downright tragic traits that add depth to their characters, and defeating them usually makes things worse for the surrounding areas, with Tubbs Fat being the most prominent example.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Mario defeats Browser and saves Peach, but Browser was a good guy trying to save the world, the genocidal Stellarvinden have the Star of Rodin back, and the War begins in earnest.
  • Call-Forward:
    • Section 8 has a Frog become a turncoat to the Kingdom of Fungi and mention that Iran has a very important leader, who turns out to be Grodan from Thousands of Doors.
    • One penguin in the epilogue also mentions that Herringvai wrote a book called "Role of Mario". In the epilogue of Thousands of Doors, Sir Snow was seen acting in a play with the same name, presumably based off of said book.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: The game starts out light and hilarious, but Section 3 has the first true morally-questionable action Mario does, sacrificing Tubbs Fat to Satan to save Scientist. The game gets darker from that point on, and Section 7, "Hard Mirror of the Soul," all but states that the quest has something terribly wrong with it, which comes into fruition in the final chapter.
  • Death by Adaptation: In the game proper, Mario is saved by the Star Spirits after he falls all the way from space to Earth. Here, he is killed by the fall and has to sign a contract with the Stellarvinden to come back to life and/or has his physical form used as their puppet.
  • Designated Hero: Invoked. Throughout the adventure, Mario does many questionable and sometimes downright evil actions, but is still treated as the hero in the narrative and by the Stellarvinden, who encourage him to keep going. This foreshadows the twist that Browser is a Hero Antagonist trying to save the world and Mario is being possessed by the Stellarvinden to start the War.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?:
    • Tubbs Fat apparently defeated Satan after Garlic and her cultists summoned him in an attempt to stop him.
    • The Chapter 7 boss is the King of Kings and is heavily implied to be the Christian God. Mario defeats him anyway.
  • Evil vs. Evil: The Star of Rodin manipulated Browser into aiding it with its evil plans, while the Stellarvinden took control of Mario to stop the Star of Rodin since it is interfering with their evil plans.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • There's a surprising amount of foreshadowing that the Stellarvinden are evil and Mario has been possessed by them and dead all along, particularly in Chapter 7, where the boss is the King of Kings, the ending narration asks if you want to be free forever, and the Stellarvinden you rescue implores you not to go and save your soul.
    • There's even some as early as Chapter 1, when Goverman says Mario is always the bad guy in his adventures, and Karl Marquez, believed to be the Token Good Teammate of the Stellarvinden, also seems to give Mario a hint about what is going on early on when he says "We're Mario..."
    • Chapter 5 has an easily-missed line from the Yoshi Chief if you speak to him before you reach the volcano that's incredibly ominous.
    If you do not see your actions, you will burn for them.
  • Jigsaw Puzzle Plot: Bits and pieces of the overarching story are scattered throughout the game and come to fruition in the final chapter.
  • Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot: One of Koop Kotu's favors of a noise complaint post-Section 4 turns into a political thriller involving government seats, lake politics, an assassination attempt in a futile attempt to stop a political alliance from being canceled, and Blockbuster Video being closed down.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Many of the areas Mario rescues become worse off than before, with Bob-Sha terrorists freed from jail, Koopa City in political turmoil, Tubbs Fat being sacrificed to Satan, Laval Ava Land becoming more dangerous, Caeau Blodaua's drug trade restarting, and the King of Kings himself dying, which apparently begins the end of the world. Then there's the endgame, where he kickstarts the War by eating all the peaches.
  • Noodle Incident: Like in Thousands of Doors, the translation creates some interesting ones.
    • According to the master of the dojo, it was one of his disciples, Wind, who started the war. It is not explained how or why he did this.
    • A Toad you deliver a letter to near the end of the letter side quest at one point says he is a "registered letter offender".
  • Oppressive States of America: Goverman states in one of his tattles that the US has become different somehow, and a Bob-sha at Benteng Coop Notes mentions that in the US they work 24 hours a day, necessitating the No Sleep medal to be able to sleep in the country.
  • Plot-Relevant Age-Up: During the final chapter, Peach uses her ability to Think to help Tinka age up into a teenager so he can defeat Kamopa Kamopa, as well as making him old enough to obtain the Star Distinguished liquor to help the Stellarvinden.
  • The Reveal: The end of the game reveals Browser was a Hero Antagonist trying to stop Mario, who was Dead All Along and being used as a puppet by the Stellarvinden. It culminates in his consumption of all the peaches, which instigated the shortage responsible for the war in Thousands of Doors.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: Jeff the gate is the first named character to die not counting Mario at the beginning of the game, and does so almost immediately.
  • Save the Villain: Section 6 implies that the Star of Rodin is manipulating Browser somehow, suggesting that Mario is actually trying to save Browser. It's actually the other way around.
    End of Section 6 Narration: Kamopa Kamopa and Browser are really worried... Save them...
  • The War Just Before: Turns out the war being fought in Thousands of Doors is actually an escalation of a smaller conflict that happened before this game. Wind, of the Frog City Dojo, was the one who originally started the conflict for reasons unknown.
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