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And this is only the title screen.
"You will regret everything!"
Carbonnote 

Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors is an unofficial Recursive Translation patch of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door by Fatguy703. After getting a letter and a magical card from Princess Peach, Mario sails to the city of Rogueporto to find her. However, when Mario arrives, Peach is nowhere to be found. At the advice of Honesty Professor Caesar Reality, Mario journeys across the land and gathers the Crystal/Christian/Glass Stars, while a Great Offscreen War lingers in the background.

A bit over a year later, Fatguy703 created another unofficial patch to cover the game's predecessor, Paper Mario 64. The story starts similarly to the base game, but soon takes a dramatic turn away from it, eventually showing the start of the War from Thousands of Doors and the unexpected role Mario plays in the game's events.

Fatguy703's Thousands of Doors streams can be found here, and his 64 streams here.


But the truth is, I'm gonna trope my father. Him. All.

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    General 
  • Adaptation Name Change: All over the place, and not just for characters. For example, Goombella becomes Goombell, Koops becomes Carbon, Super Mushrooms become Super Presidents and so on.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: Frequently. Goverman probably takes the cake however, going from the innocent and analytical Goombario to a racist, highly-bigoted asshole who hates basically everything.
  • Ambiguous Gender: Quite a few characters end up being this due to the translation being a bit inconsistent with certain characters' pronouns.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Many phrases in both games were translated into a particular languages and didn't make it back, most notably "Caeau Blodaua" in 64 being Welsh for Flower Fields.
  • Blatant Lies: The end-of-chapter narration doesn't always match up with what's actually happening.
  • Canon Foreigner: The translation quirks sometimes invent new characters out of whole cloth, such as Invictissimi, a human skeleton mentioned in a quiz show and a letter.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Just about everyone, thanks to the translation. This includes the narrator and caption boxes at times.
  • Decomposite Character: In vanilla Paper Mario Merleau is the same character as Merlee, but here they are separate characters, with Merleau appearing in 64 and Merlee in Thousands of Doors.
  • The Ghost: Many original characters and relatives of existing characters are mentioned but never seen, like Marc, a mysterious third Mario brother, Belda's wife, and Invictissimi.
  • Great Offscreen War: An offscreen war is frequently mentioned in Thousands of Doors, and its origins are explored in 64. The Persian Empirenote , The Koop Kingdomnote , and the 10-Nautiesnote  are the primary superpowers fighting in it, though what it's being fought over is...unclear. Turns out it's because the Stellarvinden, while controlling Mario, consumed all the peaches and caused a global shortage.
  • Guide Dang It!: Comes with the bad translation territory. The directions on what to do and where to go are usually replaced with complete nonsense.
  • Hidden Disdain Reveal: At the end of both Sections 1 and 2 of Thousands of Doors Carbon mentions hoping they don't have to go back there again, and Tinka ends his emotional final scene with Peach by smiling and saying 'I don't care. I'm also leaving!'
  • I Have Many Names: Many characters, places, and objects are referred to with many different names thanks to inconsistent translations. Mario in particular receives dozens across both titles.
  • Informed Ability: The translation occasionally mentions abilities the partners have that we never see them use. For example, it claims that Viviana can shoot enemies with shadowed loudspeakers, and Goverman can download the infinity of time.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Most of the names and terms have been mangled horribly. It would be easier to list examples of what doesn't have a name that typically refers to something completely different.
  • Non Sequitur: Expect a lot of these to pop up.
  • Obligatory Swearing: In spades. This includes dialogue and the names of certain enemies (Spiked Goombas become Fuckin' Goombas, etc.)
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Cake is a favored treat in the Kingdom of Fungi, with Grubba, Flavio, Hawc Green, TAYCO D, Grodan, Peach, and Gourmet all loving cake.
  • Translation Train Wreck: Invoked with the ridiculous translations.
  • Uniqueness Value: Peaches apparently have this. Enough so that after Mario, under the control of the Stellarvinden, causes a global peach shortage near the end of 64, the War occurs. Viviana even directly references it in the prelude to Section 7 when she says "Peaches are so high, it is very important, but what is it?"
  • Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Poor translation was always going to produce this at some point. Thankfully, it just occurs sparsely enough to be funny even across the two games.
    Twink reading a recipe book: When he finished not, tell me that also, that I should go to the next level, to proceed.

    Thousands of Doors 
  • Adaptational Sexuality:
    • While it's never mentioned what orientation Hooktail is, her Book of Mario equivalent, Hoko Saba, tries to be homosexual and mentions having a wife.
    • In canon, Koops is assumedly heterosexual as he is dating Koopie Koo. Carbon, on the other hand, has shades of possibly being bisexual, as he wants to get hard for Koo Koopie but also calls Mario "my love".
  • Adaptational Villainy: Koops is a shy young man with low self-confidence who wants to be brave and strong enough to protect his loved ones. Carbon, by contrast, has a bit of a god complex and talks about wanting to kill his father and destroy his own home town, and actually ends up accomplishing the latter.
  • And That's Terrible: The menu's Tattle log for Parabooms sounds this way.
    The pigs do not reach the orange colour, but when they crumble, they cut the wings. It is sad. Honest.
  • Artifact of Doom: Played for Laughs. When Mario and co. get the second Glass Star, their victory is marked with the cheerful announcement of "You have a disease!"
  • Big Stupid Doo Doo Head: Goombell's "You are ridiculed! Eww!".
  • Big "YES!": Matching three pictures on the slot machine in battle causes gigantic letters to fall down, spelling out "YESSS!" (instead of "BINGO!") as the party's HP, FP, and/or Star Power are fully packed.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: The mayor of Bad Fortress, in-between talking about the town and recent events with Hoko Saba, slides in the fact that "I eat people, hey" and then carries on like nothing happened.
  • Captain Obvious: Some of Goombell's Tattles cross into this. For instance, the Ice Storms near Fahr Outpost are weak to attacks, so you should use them.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Lampshaded by a saleswoman in Rogueporto who says "I'm sure someone like me does not makes sense."
  • Cryptic Background Reference: Ghost T.'s book is implied to contain secrets about The War. It's titled The Day of Wrath and when returned to him, he says "Now, I can calm the world". He doesn't follow through with it, however, and if the player tries to read it Ghost T. punishes them.
  • Damned by Faint Praise: Using Tattle on a Goomba:
    Goombell: Ahem... It says: "Goomba is up." ...this is wonderful!
  • Department of Redundancy Department:
    • Afternoon City is described as "always wonderful and wonderful."
    • And from Mr. Mowz: "I can not believe other thieves are other thieves!"
  • Floating Continent: Glitz City is a town floating in the sky, but by the end of the chapter it apparently sinks underwater.
  • Foreshadowing: The translation sometimes pulls this off by accident:
    • During Mario's first fight in the Pitty Glitz in Section 3, Mr. Mr. Prosecutor Grubba introduces him with the title "New Hammer Wanted". Mario does get a new hammer later on in the same Section.
    • When Browser shows up to challenge Mario during Section 3, Grubba asks "Is it alive?". It seems he could tell that this version of Browser is a copy made from glass, as we learn later in the game.
  • Fantastic Racism: The most obvious interpretation of the Boo shopkeeper who calls Mario "skin cakes", and the one accepted by Fatguy703 and co during the streams, is that it's a racist slur for living creatures.
  • Fate Worse than Death: Although there are many ghostly NPCs who seem fine with their nature, some important ones seem to regard undeath as this: Cortze says that "For almost a hundred years, this treasure has been almost as boring as death" after being in Corsair Cave for at least a thousand, and Ghost T. refers to his room on More Coffee Machines as a cage and says he "has died in it for years".
  • From the Mouths of Babes: Li'l Fat the baby Yoshi is one of the more foul-mouthed characters in the game, presumably due to her egg spending so much time hanging out in the Pitty Glitz locker room.
  • Full-Frontal Assault: Implied to be the case with Male Grubba as Goombell describes him as "Strengthening all nudity and going insane with power" as his pattern of attack.
  • Good Powers, Bad People: The Representative in the Sheltered Residence can apparently "absorb toxins from you, forever". However, he only shows an interest in trying to burn and maim Mario, rather than heal him.
  • Gossip Evolution: Prof. Reality, describing Afternoon City, tells Mario "I have heard that, as the name suggests, it's always wonderful and wonderful". It... isn't.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?: Hoko Saba is described as "hard, especially when it's lost, and will try to be homosexual."
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: Grubba, who seems to jump from an unquenchable lust for war to immense guilt and regret over his past actions at the drop of a hat. He ultimately ends up on the bad side of things, but the end-chapter epilogue implies that Mario and Jolene were able to get him the help he needs depending on how one interprets them "Ensuring his safety."
  • Heel–Face Turn: Don Piano appears to have a significant change of heart between Sections 3 and 6, describing himself with seeming remorsefulness as 'a gift of unlimited death' and saying he now needs world peace.
  • Hostile Show Takeover: Doopley pulls this during the fake ending of Section 4's narration, where he writes a completely false and nonsensical summary of the chapter's epilogue.
  • Ice-Cream Koan: When Mario moves up the Major League of the Pitty Glitz, Hawc Green drops in to give a rambling Disorganized Outline Speech. Partway through it, he tells Mario 'The light within you will destroy you. Remember.' This has no bearing on Mario's actual situation, though, and Hawc doesn't seem to be interested in teaching him anything else.
    • Ironically, this warning is very applicable to Book of Mario 64.
  • I Just Want to Be Normal: Implied Trope as Hoko Saba is defeated, and she says 'How? Why? I want to do it in my life... Do the dishes...'
  • Insult of Endearment: Just before leaving Hoko Saba Castle, Mr. Mowz tells Mario 'Be careful, beautiful mess!'.
  • Mundane Utility: According to the end-of-section narration, Grubba was using the power of the Crystal Star to drive a car.
  • No Fair Cheating: Prof. Reality tells Mario not to cheat during the Special Move tutorial. Even though the game has no means of detecting cheating.
  • Non-Mammalian Mammaries: Implied Trope: The flying Buzzy Beetle-esque enemies in Riverside Centre are described as 'busty Parabuzzy' despite apparently being reptile-like turtles.
  • Noodle Incident: A few of these pop up throughout the game:
    • During the first Peach interlude, we get this line from Peach:
    Peach: I can't believe I'm arrested again. Mario and Toadsworth worry. Again.
    • When you first meet Make, he'll mention that he worries about his second car accident.
    • A bit later, he also explains to Mario how the Big Tree is where his people live in punishment. It's never explained what they are being punished for.
  • Organ Theft:
    • Koo Koopie mentions in an e-mail that she hears Hoko Saba's intestines in Carbon's house and decides to steal them so they can be her father.
    • A few downplayed examples crop up here and there, separate from this. For instance, Mr. Mowz introduces himself as "The Nipple World Thief," it's not clear if that means he steals from a world made of nipples, or steals nipples from around the world, but in both cases, he steals nipples.
  • Positive Friend Influence: At the end of the game, Carbon says that thanks to Mario, he found value and inner strength. Given that his psychotic nature is implied to be out of depression and feeling empty, this suggests the epilogue may be the beginning of a redemption arc of some kind.
  • Resurgent Empire: The Persian Empire was formed by the Princess of Peaches sometime after 64 when the Kingdom of Fungi collapsed.
  • Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: When Make returns to the tree, Punisher tells him that the other punies were struck... by death! It later turns out that Punisher was mistaken, as Mario and the others later find the other punies imprisoned.
  • Running Gag: There are a few recurring lines that may be considered this, with some appearing throughout the game and some appearing in certain sections:
    • At least one character will usually say a variation on the line "I came" in every section, with Goombell being the one who says it the most.
    • There are multiple characters who are said to be or who claim to be the Devil.
    • Section 3 has Grubba mentioning his many secrets, particularly near the end of the section.
    • In Section 4, helicopters are randomly mentioned several times throughout the chapter.
  • Shaped Like Itself: The "legendary legend" of Rogueporto.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: While you won't see both lines on the same playthrough, both Goombell and Sir Snow apparently mistook Hawc Green for the Glass Star at some point according to their lines in the Champion's room after defeating Hawc Green.
  • Title Drop: Appears as early as the first conversation with Honesty Prof.
    Honesty Prof: Good answer! And this city seems to have thousands of doors.
  • Underwater City:
    • When he bursts into the Pitty Glitz to attack Mario in Section 3, God Browser claims that the city is falling, and the end-of-chapter narration states that it is now underwater.
    • Subverted with Rogueporto. The narrator mentions that "It's water", but when you actually visit it, it clearly isn't.
  • With Catlike Tread: While sneaking in the air vents of the Pitty Glitz, Mario accidentally gets Grubba's attention who calls out if anyone's there. Mario's options are shouting, calling out 'I am!' or making an explosion noise. In all cases, Grubba brushes it off as nothing.
  • Wham Line: One delivered by Koopley to Carbon in an email.
    Koopley: I want Petalburg back, Carbon.
  • Your Soul Is Mine!: Zess T. demands Mario's soul from him when he steps on her contact lens.

     64 
  • Achilles' Heel: Parakarius is apparently incredibly weak to an ability held by the Swallows. Allegedly.
  • Adaptational Nice Guy: While Tubba Blubba from the original Paper Mario isn't the biggest jerk ever, he's still an Anti-Villain at the end of the day. Saint Tony Tubbs Fat, on the other hand is a straight up Hero Antagonist, victim of a satanic sacrifice by Lady Garlic.
  • Anti-Villain: Almost every major boss has heroic or downright tragic traits that add depth to their characters, and defeating them usually makes things worse for the surrounding areas, with Tubbs Fat being the most prominent example.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Mario defeats Browser and saves Peach, but Browser was a good guy trying to save the world, the genocidal Stellarvinden have the Star of Rodin back, and the War begins in earnest.
  • Call-Forward:
    • Section 8 has a Frog become a turncoat to the Kingdom of Fungi and mention that Iran has a very important leader, who turns out to be Grodan from Thousands of Doors.
    • One penguin in the epilogue mentions that Herringvai wrote a book called "Role of Mario". In the epilogue of Thousands of Doors, Sir Snow was seen acting in a play with the same name, presumably based off of said book.
  • Casual Danger Dialogue: During his Gossip on Koro Tubby, Goverman informs the player 'There is a terrible attack, just saying'.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: The game starts out light and hilarious, but Section 3 has the first true morally-questionable action Mario does, sacrificing Tubbs Fat to Satan to save Scientist. The game gets darker from that point on, and Section 7, "Hard Mirror of the Soul," all but states that the quest has something terribly wrong with it, which comes into fruition in the final chapter.
  • Death by Adaptation: In the game proper, Mario is saved by the Star Spirits after he falls all the way from space to Earth. Here, he is killed by the fall and has to sign a contract with the Stellarvinden to come back to life and/or has his physical form used as their puppet.
  • Designated Hero: Invoked. Throughout the adventure, Mario does many questionable and sometimes downright evil actions, but is still treated as the hero in the narrative and by the Stellarvinden, who encourage him to keep going. This foreshadows the twist that Browser is a Hero Antagonist trying to save the world and Mario is being possessed by the Stellarvinden to start the War.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?:
    • Tubbs Fat apparently defeated Satan after Garlic and her cultists summoned him in an attempt to stop him.
    • The Chapter 7 boss is the King of Kings and is heavily implied to be the Christian God. Mario defeats him anyway.
  • Dystopia: Koopa City is a small scale example, where there are radios inside every home transmitting propaganda about the joys of slavery, women are in very traditional gender roles, and the fact that the first Koopa Mario meets in the city says “I own you now” out of nowhere suggests you can be enslaved for any reason at any time.
  • Evil vs. Evil: The Star of Rodin manipulated Browser into aiding it with its evil plans, while the Stellarvinden took control of Mario to stop the Star of Rodin since it is interfering with their evil plans.
  • Foreshadowing: There's a surprising amount of foreshadowing that the Stellarvinden are evil and Mario has been possessed by them and dead all along.
    • In Chapter 7, the boss is the King of Kings and defeating him instigates the end of the world, the ending narration asks if you want to be free forever, and the Stellarvinden you rescue implores you not to go and save your soul. The King of Kings' presence in the plot is even hinted at earlier on after saving Star in Chapter 5 when she informs Mario that he will meet "the true Lord" soon before she disappears.
    • There's even some as early as Chapter 1, when Goverman says Mario is always the bad guy in his adventures, and Karl Marquez, believed to be the Token Good Teammate of the Stellarvinden, also seems to give Mario a hint about what is going on early on when he says "We're Mario...". In the interlude when Mario returns to Frog City, Browser asks Kamopa Kamopa 'By the way, these spirits do not have a way to exploit Mario, right?'.
    • Chapter 5 has an easily-missed line from the Yoshi Chief if you speak to him before you reach the volcano that's incredibly ominous.
    If you do not see your actions, you will burn for them.
  • Heel Realization: Bowler appears to have one of these in the final battle, as she asks Mario 'What's the problem? Why cooperate with a group of stars?'. Sadly it comes too little, too late. Goverman, in one of the final rooms of Browser's castle, also has a line saying 'We, Garlic and friends can have the opportunity to play a terrible role', but doesn't try to do anything about it.
  • Impossible Theft: The Frog City news board, after Section 3, declares 'Occupation shame! Bandits steal forgotten concept'.
  • Jigsaw Puzzle Plot: Bits and pieces of the overarching story are scattered throughout the game and come to fruition in the final chapter.
  • The Last Of These Is Not Like The Others: After Paul's many weird, downright nonsensical quiz questions, the last one is strangely profound: 'How many people still believe in stars?'
  • Milkman Conspiracy: One of the letters for Bowler in the mail sidequest appears to discuss some sort of bombing attack, and is sent to her by The Dry Cleaning Department. This makes the reveal in one of Paul's quiz questions that Muststafs knows where to get dry cleaning suddenly become ominous.
  • Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot: One of Koop Kotu's favors of a noise complaint post-Section 4 turns into a political thriller involving government seats, lake politics, an assassination attempt in a futile attempt to stop a political alliance from being canceled, and Blockbuster Video being closed down.
  • Mood Whiplash: After Mario's first encounter with Tubbs Fat, a Bumpie in Jerk Gulch says something that sounds about as poetic as the translation would allow, only to immediately reveal a disgusting habit of Tubbs Fat's.
    It's Tubbs Fat day to others who have escaped from the castle, and he said... "The key is a secret department within the solution, pay attention to your body and mind and everything..." Then he may devour grease buckets to be in the news.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:
    • Many of the areas Mario rescues become worse off than before, with Bob-Berun terrorists freed from jail, Koopa City in political turmoil, Tubbs Fat being sacrificed to Satan, Laval Ava Land becoming more dangerous, Caeau Blodaua's drug trade restarting, and the King of Kings himself dying, which apparently begins the end of the world. Then there's the endgame, where he kickstarts the War by eating all the peaches. Also, he somehow causes Blockbuster Video to shut down.
    • Mario would not have died and therefore been possessed by the Stellarvinden had Browser not fought and killed him at the very beginning, which is never addressed by the game itself.
  • Noodle Incident: Like in Thousands of Doors, the translation creates some interesting ones.
    • According to the master of the dojo, it was one of his disciples, Wind, who started the war. It is not explained how or why he did this.
    • A Toad you deliver a letter to near the end of the letter side quest at one point says he is a "registered letter offender".
  • Oppressive States of America: Goverman states in one of his tattles that the US has become different somehow, and a Bob-Berun at Benteng Coop Notes mentions that in the US they work 24 hours a day, necessitating the No Sleep medal to be able to sleep in the country.
  • Plot-Relevant Age-Up: During the final chapter, Peach uses her ability to Think to help Tinka age up into a teenager so he can defeat Kamopa Kamopa, as well as making him old enough to obtain the Star Distinguished liquor to help the Stellarvinden.
  • The Reveal: The end of the game reveals Browser was a Hero Antagonist trying to stop Mario, who was Dead All Along and being used as a puppet by the Stellarvinden. It culminates in his consumption of all the peaches, which instigated the shortage responsible for the war in Thousands of Doors.
  • Ridiculously Human Robots: The frying pan retrieved from the Stupid Guy Guy Box is described as 'Tayco D's skin', implying that she's made of metal.
  • Running Gag: Like in Thousands of Doors, there are some recurring elements throughout the story or in certain sections that come across as this:
    • Goverman bringing up his many likes or dislikes in his Gossip.
    • Section 7 has a lot of abbreviations and names showing up in parentheses in several characters' dialogue.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: Jeff the gate is the first named character to die not counting Mario at the beginning of the game, and does so almost immediately.
  • Save the Villain: Section 6 implies that the Star of Rodin is manipulating Browser somehow, suggesting that Mario is actually trying to save Browser. It's actually the other way around.
    End of Section 6 Narration: Kamopa Kamopa and Browser are really worried... Save them...
  • Unwanted Rescue: Mario rescues Koopa City from an incursion of Smokers in Section 1, and returns numerous stolen objects to the residents. According to the letter he receives later, however, they only regarded it as an 'alleged problem' and ask him to never come back.
  • The War Just Before: Turns out the war being fought in Thousands of Doors is actually an escalation of a smaller conflict that happened before this game. Wind, of the Frog City Dojo, was the one who originally started the conflict for reasons unknown.
  • Wham Line: The description of Beam Pexego, the strongest power in the game that can nullify the empowered Star of Rodin:
    Paul briefly stops the effect of Browser's star.
  • You Have Researched Breathing: When Mario rescues one of the Stellarvinden, he gains a rather useless ability.
    • Section 2: "The stone lets you sleep!"
    • Section 5: "Mario can now be used to measure things, like a star!"
    • Section 7: "Mario now has the stellar power to go away!"

Many thanks to those who play Mario: Thousands of gates

 
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In this mod of Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door created by FatGuy703 where everything is put in Google Translate, Grodan reveals without any buildup that he and his X-Naut minions were actually Nazis, to FatGuy703s shock.

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