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Characters / Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors

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Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors and its prequel screw up a lot of characters in ways that are generally hilarious.

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Characters in both games

     Protagonists 

Mario

Mario Merloni is the stalwart hero of the Book of Mario series. Since he's a Heroic Mime, he is usually unaffected by the game's radical personality shifts... usually.

  • Brainwashed and Crazy: Aside from the intro and epilogue, Mario spends the entirety of 64 under the control of the Stellarvinden as a part of their plot to make the War worse.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Occasionally seems to have this in the response choices, such as when he has the option to tell a frightened Make to "piss off, nerd!"
  • I Have Many Names: Mario has a slew of aliases, including: Bart, General Gunsales, Mary, The Spirit of Love, Mr. Skit-All-Jam, and others.
  • Kavorka Man: Mario is nothing to write home about in the looks department, and sometimes comes across as a Jerkass who keeps the company of absolute lunatics, but basically every character — female and male alike — flirts with or tries to have sex with him at some point.
  • Mister Seahorse: Referred to as being pregnant and/or a mother several times, and apparently gives birth to King K's child.
  • Only Sane Man: Pretty much the only character who isn't a Cloud Cuckoo Lander, though even he occasionally displays some odd tendencies.
  • Really Gets Around: He has relations with many people throughout his journeys, including one with King K which results in a child.
  • Related in the Adaptation: He turns out to be Merlon's son, while in the games his parents' identities are unknown.
  • Teeny Weenie: Sir Snow describes him as "the smallest thing (he's) ever seen."
  • Unwitting Pawn: In 64, to the Stellarvinden, who use him to regain their powers and the Star of Rodin to start the War.
  • Victorian Novel Disease: Mario is carrying countless diseases, from syphilis, to botulism, to lung cancer, to even more, while suffering no obvious symptoms.note 
  • Villain Protagonist: Is ultimately this in the first game.

Princess of Peaches / Prince Peach

"Who am I?!?!"

The prince/ss of several kingdoms, most notably Persia. S/he is kidnapped by the 10-Nauties at the start of Thousands of Doors, and endures the captivity of the aggressively lustful TEC for most of the adventure. In 64, Peach is kidnapped by Browser and endures the 'help' of the starred child Tinka.

  • Ambiguous Gender: The game can't seem to decide whether Peach is male or female. While random pronoun switches happen with several other characters, Peach's uniquely vary in nearly every other sentence. S/he also seems to struggle with their identity at several points.
  • Black Comedy Rape: TEC strongly implies that he will force himself on Peach following their first interaction, but s/he's completely nonplussed.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Even by Book of Mario standards, it's clear that they're... not quite all there.
  • Imperiled in Pregnancy: Implied. Lewis said that s/he was expecting at the beginning of 64.
  • Interspecies Romance: Quickly settles into one with TEC, once he eases up on the sexual assault.
  • Noodle Incident: Early dialogue has Peach making reference to being arrested in the past.
  • Skewed Priorities: In 64, s/he at one point says that s/he's hard and needs to focus on homicide. In Thousands of Doors, s/he offers to give TEC "a blow" during their first conversation and rolls with him forcing himself on him/her, but angrily objects to dancing with him.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Couldn't be less bothered by TEC's predatory tendencies, and says at one point that "pain can also be joy".
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Seems to have this kind of relationship with Tinka in Book of Mario 64.

Lewis

Lewis Pantallona Merloni is Mario's brother, who stays at home in 64 while writing a secret newspaper called The Official Lewis in the basement. He goes on his own adventure in Thousands of Doors.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: He thinks Mario's rescuing Princess Breskva instead of Peach, and his newspaper is full of incoherent rambling, especially where Todd is concerned. Lewis also thinks Goverman is his brother and doesn't seem to know what a brother is.
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: In 64, he says in his newspaper that the exciting journey Mario is going on is wrong, and warns Goverman to beware of him in person. The player would initially assume he's jealous or it's just a translation quirk, but he's absolutely right, as Mario is possessed by the evil Stellarvinden to destroy everyone who doesn't believe in the stars.
  • Humble Goal: His secret desire is to stay in bed.
  • Non Sequitur: In Edge 5 he randomly says he's scared of going blind.
  • Sleepyhead: He loves to stay in bed, and several diary entries talk about him going to bed.
  • Unknown Rival: He really hates Todd, a Frog hiding in the Princely Palace. Todd has no idea who he is.

     Antagonists 

God Olivier Browser

Mario's ex and longtime nemesis. In 64 he steals the Star of Rodin in an attempt to grant his own wishes and rule the world, while in Thousands of Doors he goes rogue and starts following his trail for somewhat unclear reasons.

  • Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: Whereas Grodan was a Politically Incorrect Villain and a Nazi who was straight up evil, Olivier Browser is a Hero Antagonist and environmentalist whose goal is to save the world from the Stellarvinden.
  • Dead All Along: The real Olivier Browser died at the end of 64. Section 6 of Thousands of Doors reveals that God Browser is a fake version made out of glass.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: His quest begins when Kamopa Kamopa tells him that someone "broke the princess", enraging him. If this was his motive, however, he loses sight of it very quickly.
  • Hero Antagonist: In 64 he plans to take over the world with the Star of Rodin, but this is an attempt to stop the Stellarvinden from committing genocide, starting the War, and using Mario as their pawn. Additionally, many of the areas under his control are ruled by bosses with good intentions, and defeating them tends to make things worse.
  • "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: The entire final fight in 64 was Browser trying to save Mario from the control of the Stellarvinden.
    "Mario! Do you remember? You have to give up! Win the day!"
  • Locked Out of the Loop: To an even greater extent than the original TTYD. While he's after the Glass Stars under the impression they're the key to ending the war, he has no idea of the other stories going on around him.
  • Nature Hero: Is stated to be an environmentalist on multiple occasions throughout 64, and has minions that run on ecopetrol. When Piranha's Life is defeated, Browser's absence from the area makes the volcanic eruptions worse.
    "Who is the best, most irresistible, solid environmentalist?"-A Quiz question, the answer is Browser
  • Physical God: With the Star of Rodin, he's almost completely invincible. In Section 4 of Book of Mario 64 Kamopa reveals Browser commands God, and the boss of Section 7 is the King of Kings, who directly states he's a minion of Browser.
  • Spanner in the Works: His own quest to end the war by collecting the Glass Stars unknowingly throws a wrench into Grodan's plans which ultimately come to a head with God Browser's appearance at the Sheltered Residence.
  • Tomato in the Mirror: God Browser apparently had no idea he was a glass decoy of the real Browser.

Kamopa Kamopa

Browser's right-hand woman. She is one of the smartest characters in the series, if only by virtue of sometimes knowing what's going on.

  • Anti-Villain: One of her lines in the final battle of 64 implies that she and Browser were trying to save the world, and Mario (or, well, the Stellarvinden possessing Mario) is attempting to destroy it.
    "You're not a hero! Do you think we're stupid enough to sit and watch life be destroyed?"
  • Kick the Dog: She murders Jeff the gate in 64's prologue.
  • Repetitive Name: Her full name is Kamopa Kamopa Koopa Koopa.

Characters in Thousands of Doors

     Protagonists 

Goombell

"I came, Mario! You finna!"
The first of the Feast members encountered, Goombell Goomba is the sex-crazed (yet still clever) student of Honesty Professor Caesar Reality. She agrees to join Mario's quest out of a combination of adventurous spirit and Prof. Reality telling her to.

  • All Women Are Lustful: Constantly utters slutty phrases, such as her infamous "I came!"
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Shouts "Can we get a bigger cock?!" in Section 3, when Mario is about to face Hawc Green.
  • Brainless Beauty: Downplayed. While there's some common knowledge she is missing out on, she is smart enough to do an Enemy Scan. Toadsworth lampshades the idea when he calls her "Beautiful Stupid" for not knowing who Peach is.
  • Captain Obvious: Some of her advice can be painfully obvious.
    Uh, I think its better to win first...
  • Catchphrase: "I came!" While other characters do say this, she's the one that says it the most.
  • Character Development: At the end of the game, she seems to finally realize that constantly yelling out "I came!" isn't very appropriate, as she stops herself from saying it at the end of her email to Mario.
  • Extreme Libido: She is primarily characterized by how often she "came," and at one point shouts about wanting "a bigger cock".
  • Fate Worse than Death: Her email at the end of the game says that she's stuck working for Frank forever, and she begs for Mario to save her, because she's desperate.
  • Female Misogynist: Goombell states in Section 2 that she does not believe in girls.
  • Genius Ditz: Despite the fact her mind is focused mostly on nymphomaniacal goals, she knows a fair amount about how the war is conducted, such as how Pilots spy on the opposing side through computer networks, that Belda is a key figure in one of the armies involved in it, and that the Yuxi are not independent beings, but unthinking puppet drones of Jen Yux, the creator and head of the X-Naut labs. In addition, she is smart enough to, despite her overpowering lust, stat out every enemy in the game with relative certainty, and note the stats down in her notebook.
  • Handicapped Badass: Her dialogue is full of red flags indicating some sort of vision disorder, referring to an Extinct Green (Green Fuzzy) as blue, stating that a Bone Tomato (Red Bones) is a "red bear," and seeing a Bullshit (Cleft) as a comic book. She is still a capable fighter, and a learned scholar, despite this.
  • Hated Hometown: Occasionally expresses a dislike for Rogueporto, such as exclaiming "I do not want this city!" after seeing Mario get robbed of half his coins.
  • Hormone-Addled Teenager: Downplayed. In her Blah regarding a Spain, she states she is just barely a teen at 19 years old, though her libido isn't lacking in any regard.
  • I Just Want to Be Normal: Implied during her first major conversation with Mario.
    I'm here! I hate it! Everywhere and everywhere is abnormal! Sucks!
  • Ms. Exposition: Essentially what the Blah command allows her to do in regards to enemy stats/trivia.
  • My Significance Sense Is Tingling: Implied. She is apparently warned when she needs to do something, somehow. This is apparently how she knows when to ask for information.
  • Nonindicative Name: Her last name "Goomba" is this, seeing as Goombas are actually called "Fish" in this universe.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: One dialogue of hers early on in the game mentions she has a hatred of blacks, as well as not believing in girls.
  • Real Men Hate Sugar: Gender-inverted. In the tutorial fight, Goombell exclaims "Candy! You know it's bad!"
  • Sex Is Violence: If the tutorial battle is any indication, she considers fighting and sex to be the same thing.
  • War Is Hell: A firm believer of this. In Section 3 when tattling a Bob-Sha, she states the war "is too much."
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Is apparently afraid of spiders, and is disgusted by Errors (Bloopers).

Carbon

"I don't care, father. I'm empty."

The second member of the Mario's band who is encountered, Carbon Christ is a highly psychopathic Troop of KSD hailing from Bad Fortress. While he joins Mario's band to help defeat Hoko Saba, his ultimate personal goal is to end all fathers, including his own father Koopley.

  • Adaptational Villainy: In the original TTYD, Koops was a shy-but-kind person who was struggling to assert himself. Carbon, on the other hand, is a psychopath with a god complex, threatens to destroy his hometown and kill his own father, and seems to be a megalomaniac.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Carbon wants to "get hard" for Koo Koopie, but he also refers to Mario as "my love".
  • Archnemesis Dad: While his hatred in general extends to all fathers, Carbon has an ESPECIALLY great disdain for his own dad Koopley.
  • Awesome, but Impractical: His attack called "The Shell" can damage all enemies on Earth. Too bad the villains are on the Moon...
  • Ax-Crazy: A bloodthirsty megalomaniac who wants to murder his own father (along with everyone else's), destroy his hometown, and conquer Glitzville among other places. If Carbon finds Grubba's machine documents, he thinks it makes perfect sense, but then calls Grubba a fool for not going far enough with the plan.
  • Badass Boast: Gives one to the Queen of Shadows in Section 8, after she is made vulnerable.
    You were talking? Payment time!
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: During his first few interactions with Mario, Carbon doesn't actually seem very different from Koops (aside from being much weirder). Once his true self is revealed, however, he basically always remains in the "bitch" part.
  • Blood Knight: To go along with his other psychopathic traits, Carbon is just as violent as one would expect him to be.
  • Covert Pervert: Occasionally brings up being "hard" in random, unrelated conversations, but he doesn't bring it up often enough for anyone to really notice.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Carbon is surprisingly okay with Mario taking the Yoshi Egg with them, stating that not even he could hate an unborn child. He also, shortly after the reveal from Koopley that he destroyed Petalburg off-screen, says that he doesn't like the idea of stealing Hawc Green's dog.
  • Fourth-Wall Observer: Seems to demonstrate knowledge of being a video game character during his conversation with Doopley, who is also a Fourth-Wall Observer.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: The amount of people who Carbon doesn't hate can be counted on one hand, and similarly, the amount of people who don't hate him can also be counted on a single hand.
  • A God Am I: Considering he often refers to himself as Christ and declared to be a Prince at one point, it's pretty easy to assume he views himself in this light.
  • Non Sequitur: Everyone has a habit of saying these, but Carbon's tend to be even more random and out of place. For example, he introduces himself to Mario with a very awkward and one-sided conversation that mentions something about a "forgotten uterus" that never comes up again. Even Goombell is confused.
    We have chestnuts.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: While he mainly voices his desire to end all fathers, his violent hatred extends to most other life as well, with very few exceptions.
  • Only Friend: Though "friend" may be a bit of a stretch, the Yoshi Kid is one of the very, very few characters Carbon admits to not hating.
  • Patricide: His ultimate goal is to "end all fathers," including his own.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: He refers to the people who mocked him for crying as "people with disabilities," with what most assume to be contempt.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Your only Feast member who has evil motives. He even lampshades this, saying, "You will regret everything!" as soon as he joins.
  • Untrusting Community: Downplayed. Koopley tells Mario "Do not cooperate with Carbon," but the rest of the Bad Fortress inhabitants seem to think he is merely misguided, with Koo Koopie attempting to convince Mario to help Carbon realize the path he's on isn't good for him.
  • Warrior Poet: Can be surprisingly well-spoke, despite the whole being a massive psychopath thing.
    It is the blessed tree and I, Christ, as you are the stars.
  • Where I Was Born and Razed: He wants to destroy Bad Fortress after eating Hoko Saba.
  • Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Carbon reveals he suffers from depression in Section 5. This is given Foreshadowing as early as Section 1, where he states to Koopley that he's "empty". This may mean that describing himself as "a prince" and "a real treasure" to NPCs in Rogueport could be an Inferiority Superiority Complex.

Sir Snow

"My! Good Drama. I think we should do something now, right?"

A war veteran suffering from PTSD and an urge to return to the battlefield, Sir Snow is the 3rd member of Mario's band encountered. Formerly a renowned actress before transitioning, he joins the Feast Members out of gratitude for Mario retrieving his lost necklace and as a way to relive the "drama" of war.

  • Arbitrary Skepticism: Asks if a spirit can exist at one point, seemingly undeterred by the fact that he is one.
  • Blood Knight: Sir Snow wants nothing more then to return to the battlefield of war.
  • Blow You Away: Comes with being a wind spirit.
  • Colonel Kilgore: Despite having been pulled from the war for developing various mental illnesses, he desperately wants to return to the "drama" of the battlefield.
  • Drama Queen: A gender-swapped example. He quit being an actor due to considering the drama to be "fake", and later joined the war purely to experience "real" drama.
  • The Fashionista: There is a man he wants to marry. He wants Mario to find his necklace so he can emphasize his beauty for the day he plans to propose.
  • Gender Flip: A slightly different example. Madame Flurrie from the original TTYD is a female, but Sir Snow is a trans man.
  • Nonindicative Name: The name implies he'd be ice inclined, but as mentioned under Blow You Away, Sir Snow is a wind spirit.
  • Precision F-Strike: Usually soft-spoken and sometimes quite eloquent, but he does exclaim 'What the fuck is this?' on discovering King K and Bandy Andy under the big block in Pitty Glitz.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Possibly. He claims to have he was "not born for centuries!", implying he is either only decades old or has been around for at least a millennium.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: Fought in the war and suffers from PTSD.
  • Tastes Like Purple: Apparently has Synesthesia, based off some dialogue from Section 5.
    Oh dear... The big sound is pink again...

Yoshi Kid / Happy

"This is bullshit. What have we here?"

The fourth member of the Feast Members encountered, the Yoshi Kid was initially encountered by Mario and friends as an egg in Glitz City. Upon hatching, she quickly demonstrates her boisterous and foul-mouthed personality while also deciding to join Mario's band out of respect for him. The game's default name for her is "Happy".

Viviana

"Thank god... At least I'm punishing myself now..."

The youngest sister of the three shaded shadows, Viviana Beldt is initially introduced in Section 2 as an enemy to Mario, fighting for the 10-Nauties alongside her sisters Belda and Lyn, of whom she appears to be in an abusive relationship with. During Section 4, however, she has a falling out with her sisters and decides to join Mario's band out of gratitude towards him and becoming tired of being the designated Chew Toy of her sisters.

  • The Alcoholic: Implied in Section 2, when Belda chastises her for getting wasted when they need to attack Mario and take the Magic Card from him.
  • Arranged Marriage: Belda declares that Viviana should get married, likely with this trope in mind.
  • Big Sister Bully: Has two, in the form of Belda and Lyn.
  • Brother–Sister Incest: Well, Sister-Sister Incest, but it is all but stated she is in a relationship with her sister Belda.
  • Casual Kink: Brings up punishment and being punished so often, it's not hard to assume she's into it.
  • Cute Ghost Girl: Well, she's a "Shadow", not a Ghost, but this trope still applies.
  • Has a Type: Claims to "like idiots" just prior to the battle with Doopley.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Initially on the side of the 10-Nauties, she later joins Mario after being left behind by her sisters.
  • Heroic Seductress: Her "Sex" ability allows her to seduce the enemies, making it harder for them to attack Mario.
  • I Just Want to Be Normal: She was apparently a much friendlier and normal person before joining a relationship with Belda, and she wishes she could return to being like that.
  • Instant Seduction: Evidently very fast at working with her "Sex" ability.
  • Living Shadow: Duh. Her species is even called "Shadow".
  • Not So Above It All: On landing the cannon shot to the Moon, she breaks her usual composure with "Bitch! That's wild!".
  • Parental Neglect: Belda accuses her of letting their baby get lost in Section 2, and chides her for being inattentive.
  • Playing with Fire: Specializes in fire and, supposedly, explosive magic.
  • Reluctant Warrior: She never actually seems to want to fight with Mario during her time as a bad guy.
  • Seen It All: Creates this impression, given that her reaction to the news that Peach is being held on a fortress on the Moon is 'Well, that's fine!'.
  • Suicide Attack: Apparently capable of one, as Belda suggests she should deal with a mission by being "a Great Superbombomb".
  • Too Kinky to Torture: Actively looks forward to Belda's threatened punishments, which often seem to be sexual in nature.
  • Ultimate Blacksmith: Well, gem cutter, but she, along with her sisters, are apparently capable of crafting more Crystal/Christian/Glass Stars.

Admiral Bob

"HUP! HUP! WOT WOT!?! Yobie boobs... PIRATES! Where are the pirates?!?"

A blind old sailor hiding out in Rogueporto, mourning his late wife Scarlett. Despite being recruited to Mario's band after Flavio's ill-fated terrorist expedition, he remains somewhat shrouded in mystery.

  • Death Seeker: He's fine with dying on the island, and in the Sheltered Residence, he tells Mario that they should get cancer.
  • Handicapped Badass: Bob is apparently blind, but he's still capable of dishing out some serious hurt.
  • I Have Many Names: He is alternately referred to as Bob, Bobbery, Bobber, Bobby, Almirante Bob, The Bob Train, and Big Bob.
  • Multiple-Choice Past: Contradictory dialogue and excerpts of the letter (which was written from Scarlett's perspective, but apparently by Bob immediately after Scarlett's death) imply that his wife either died of illness, was a sailor herself and died on the sea, or was murdered by Bob for being disloyal.
  • Official Couple: Implied; near the end of the game, he is said to be "in Cortze", implying that the two are somehow sleeping together.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: According to him, Bob has always wanted to be a princess.
  • Western Terrorists: He references voting and "the Capital", and goes along with Flavio's attempted attack on the United States after being convinced by a letter he apparently wrote to himself. Said letter also hints that he might once have been at risk of getting the death penalty.

Mr. Mowz

"I'm Mr. Mowz, The Nipple World Thief! Oh my dear ♡"

A professional thief encountered numerous times throughout Mario's adventure, Mr. Mowz is a male Mouser who works as a Medal shopkeeper in Rogue Harbor when not in his Secret Identity. Also an optional party member, he can become Feast Member if a player so chooses, joining the band out of gratitude after Mario retrieves a badge he was attempting to find but had been unable to.

  • Ambiguous Gender: The game can't seem to decide if they're a female who just uses "Mr." in her title or if he's actually a male. For the sake of simplicity, we'll just stick with male pronouns.
  • Annoying Video Game Helper: Invoked. One of his combat abilities is called Annoy—his annoyance is how he helps Mario.
  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": Refers to kisses as "blank stares".
  • Classy Cat-Burglar: Mouse Burglar, but still. He attempts to carry himself with a certain air of elegance at the very least.
  • Decoy Leader: Believes himself to be the leader of Mario's team after joining it, but Mario still obviously remains the actual leader.
  • Gender Swap: Maybe. The game is never concrete on what gender Mowz is, but it does lean towards "male", which would make him different from TTYD Mowz, who is a female.
  • Mage Killer: His Relaxing Love attack apparently does this, attacking an enemy's spirit medium to bypass their defense.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Despite his title being "The Nipple World Thief", he does not seem to steal nipples nor does he live in a world made of nipples.
  • Only in It for the Money: Averted. He says he expects a salary upon joining with Mario, but Mario never actually pays him anything and yet he remains a party member.
  • Secret Identity: Mr. Mowz's true identity is that of a medal shopkeeper in Rogue Harbor. The only change between his normal identity is a mask.
  • She Is the King: Is sometimes referred to with female pronouns, but goes by "Mr." instead of "Mrs."
  • Suicide Dare: Tells Mario "Somewhere in this place are features that will help you with hanging yourself" upon their meeting in Hocktail House.
  • Thou Shall Not Kill: The description of his Pirate Kiss ability implies that he thinks killing enemies is useless.
  • Victory Is Boring: Claims at one point that the only problem he has is that he has no more problems.

     Supporting Characters 

1 TEC-20

"Don't sleep, princess."

The 10-Nauties' supercomputer and Prince Peach's warden. He has a perverse fixation on Prince Peach, but helps her out despite his occasional monstrousness.

  • Black Comedy Rape: Insinuates that he will do this to Peach when s/he returns to the bedroom following their first meeting, even warning him/her not to sleep. S/he doesn't seem to mind.
  • The Casanova: He first attempts to woo Peach, imploring him/her to flirt back and bragging that he has "the greatest car in the world". This appears to immediately win Peach over, as s/he calls him lovely and responds well to his more aggressive behavior.
  • Character Development: Peach's affection gradually turns him from an abuser with a god complex to something closer to his canon personality.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: He makes Grodan out to be a harmless, cowardly Nice Guy, which couldn't be further from the truth. Grodan eventually forces him to get an abortion before "deporting him".
    Grodan is terribly afraid. He is a very good boy. That's great.
  • Mister Seahorse: Grodan reveals that TEC is pregnant, implicitly from his and Peach's sexual encounters.

Honesty Professor Caesar Reality

"You can try X to defend yourself against objects that society has thrown away."

Goombell's mentor, an extremely eccentric old professor who tends to ramble incoherently. Despite teetering on the brink of madness, he helps Mario's band however he can.

Make

"Yes! Destroy their city!"

One of the residents of the Big Tree in Bad Forest. He manages to escape the 10-Nauties' invasion and seeks to rescue his sister, with whom he is disturbingly close.

Jolene

"This is the price of war, Mr. Gunsales."

Prosecutor Grubba's cold-hearted secretary. She is conspiring against him in secret, but doing a pretty terrible job of it.

  • Conditioned to Accept Horror: To an extent. She accepts that War Is Hell and nothing can change it, and has nothing to say about the part of the contract that implies Grubba can force himself on Mario and can't be stopped until he releases him.
  • Nasal Weapon: She is said to be able to detach her nose and throw it, though we never see this in action.
  • Word Salad: Her attempts at directing Mario to uncover Grubba's crimes come off more like brief, incoherent spam emails than actual cryptic hints, making her role in Mario's investigation rather insignificant.
    DOMAINERS ANSWAR ANSWER ANSWER's reply. - From, X

Flavio Candy

"Everything went well... I am still full of terrorism..."

A foolish, egotistical pirate captain looking for a crew — or so it seems. He's actually a terrorist mastermind, seeking to carry out an explosive attack on the United States.

  • Adaptational Villainy: Flavio goes from a cowardly rich guy who wants to live an adventure to a terrorist who wants to bomb the United States and treats his crew like crap.
  • Ax-Crazy: The failure of his initial mission and being shipwrecked on a nearby island doesn't dissuade him; his journal maintains that "we are still here to kill". He also threatens to throw Mario in the sea if he fails him.
  • Bad Boss: When Bob is missing and wounded, Flavio sends Mario out to cut his neck.
  • I Have Many Names: He is alternatively referred to as Flavius, Flavioni, Flavini, Flavion, Flabio, and Mr. Peacock, among others.
  • Mad Bomber: Sails to the U.S. with a ship full of Bob-Ombs, singing the whole way about his "heart full of terrorism" and the imagery of things exploding.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: At first, he doesn't seem to be that different from the Flavio of normal TTYD. Once the voyage begins, however, he reveals himself to be a cruel, monstrous terrorist, which most of his crew initially go along with.
  • Terrorists Without a Cause: He never actually explains his reasoning, so whether it's something to do with the war or he's just a crazy sadist is unknown.

     Minor Characters 

Koopley

"Eliminating wild flowers, looking at the dust... This city seemed nice a decade ago, but now I see the world differently. I want Petalburg back, Carbon."

Carbon's father, a jovial man who couldn't be further from his Ax-Crazy son. He's been hiding out in Hoko Saba's stomach (or, apparently, her womb) since failing to defeat her years ago.

  • The Atoner: He says that he found himself while he had been eaten by Hoko Saba. Given Carbon's claims that they created existence together, and that Koopley tells Mario not to cooperate with him, he seems to regret what he'd done during that time.
  • Physical God: Carbon states they both invented everything ten years ago. Given Carbon's raging god complex, it is unlikely he would lie about someone other than him who wields the power to do that.
  • Wrecked Weapon: He states that while getting into Hoko Saba's castle and fighting her was "okay", he also says that Hoko Saba ended up breaking "Barbara's knife", during the fight, which is why he lost.

Don Pablo "Pant" Piano

"I don't care if the money is real or not. Get it?"

The director of the Plant Association, a large crime syndicate in west Rogue Harbor, and leader of the European Union.

  • Affably Evil: He doesn't just give Mario a ticket to the Glitzville transport; he offers him the entire zeppelin!
  • Heel–Face Turn: In Section 6, he decides he wants world peace, and ends the European Union's for-profit stance in the War.
  • Mood-Swinger: Switches wildly between polite, even overt kindness and cruel abuses of power, apropos nothing.
  • Scarpia Ultimatum: Insinuates that Mario's companion should strip for him and "make [him] feel... happy" after making a veiled threat of violence toward both of them.

Francesco and Frank

Don Piano's daughter and one of his lieutenants, who've run away together. While seemingly idyllic, their relationship is anything but normal.

Ghost T

A ghostly Toad haunting More Coffee Machines. He owns a cursed book, The Day of Wrath, which supposedly contains the secrets of the war and can bring about world peace if it is ever read. May or may not be Jesus himself.

  • All-Powerful Bystander: This random ghost Toad has the power to completely end the war at any time, but he chooses not to and actively stops Mario from trying to use it.
  • Deadly Book: Inverted. The Day of Wrath can apparently end the war, but Ghost T will kill Mario if he tries to use it.
  • Jerkass: He could end all of the conflicts facing the world by just opening his book. He just doesn't want to.
  • The Spook: Pun intended. Who he is, how he came into possession of The Day of Wrath, and why such a powerful entity is haunting a random train car is left to interpretation. He might be the spirit of Jesus, but it's unclear.
  • Technical Pacifist: Thought he's willing to inflict a Non-Standard Game Over, Ghost T. apparently has disdain for The War - in his email he says 'I really do not respect the army' and adds 'Thousands of people! Do not ask', implying some sort of traumatic experience or eye-opening shock.

     Antagonists 

Big High Grodan

"On the day of the famous day, I will throw the world into the depths of terrorism!"

The leader of the 10-Nauties, one of the key factions in the war. He may or may not have been involved in starting the conflict, but he seeks to prolong it by releasing the Queen of Shadows. Eventually revealed to be leading both the Nazi Community and the Iranian Marines, somehow.

  • Colonel Kilgore: It's ambiguous whether he was pulling the strings behind the war all along or is just one of many parties fighting in it, but he's certainly keeping it going and dead set on winning.
  • Dystopia Justifies the Means: He states he’s going to “plunge the world into the depths of terrorism”, which suggests he’s well aware that the world won’t be any better off when he takes control of it.
  • Gratuitous Nazis: Is revealed to be the leader of the Nazi Community near the end of Section 8, possibly meaning the 10-Nauties were just a Nazi front.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: "I do not care what a woman says."
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: It's hard to get more politically incorrect than a sexist warmonger who eventually outs himself as a Nazi leader.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Curses very frequently, even by Book of Mario standards.

Mr. Krump

"Here's the sucker! Big Ass PAIN!!!"

Grodan's Dragon, a rather useless man grieving the death of his daughter. Despite working for a warmonger, he hopes to end the conflict with as few casualties as possible.

  • Affably Evil: Fairly polite to Mario's band, and demonstrates none of his boss's aimless cruelty.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Regardless of his personal tragedy, he did name his Mini-Mecha "Big Ass".
  • Anti-Villain: Despite all the pain he's been through, his main goal is ending The War with as few casualties as possible, and even forgives Mario after being defeated in Section 2.
  • Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: It's hard not to feel a bit bad for the guy, between his daughter's death and how little he manages to accomplish before his final defeat.
  • Older Than They Look: If his daughter is Cortze, he must be extremely ancient, seeing as Cortze has been dead for centuries.
  • Tragic Villain: He talks about his daughter's premature death in one of his first lines, and it seems to be central to his motivations.

Belda

"Beauty with three videos! I see two, but you're here and are a HORSE!!!"

Vivian's abusive big sister and the leader of the shaded shadows. She works under Grodan and conspires to revive the Queen of Shadows.

Lyn

The middle sister of the shaded shadows, who doesn't play an extremely important role.
  • Adaptation Personality Change: Averted, she is the only character who's close to her canon personality. Since she didn't have much dialogue in the original game, there is very little for Google Translate to work with.
  • Informed Poverty: According to Goombella, she is the poorest of the sisters. Not that we actually get to see it.
  • Only Sane Woman: Described as such by Fatguy 703.
  • Our Mermaids Are Different: Described by Goombell as such, even though she has no visible tail. They are called the "Shadow Sirens" so it's kinda fitting.

Hoko Saba

The dragon who terrorizes Bad Fortress and ate Carbon's father, Koopley. Possibly a lesbian, definitely a complete weirdo.

Mr. Mr. Prosecutor Grubba

"They say shootings are the smell of society..."

The leader of Glitzville, in charge of recruiting and training new soldiers for the war while the rich and powerful use the platform as shelter. While he seems to be a smooth-talking manager, he's barely hiding his grief-induced insanity over the death of his son, and has developed a number of bizarre fixations.

  • Affably Evil: Unfailingly polite to Mario, eventually coming to address him as a surrogate son.
  • Amoral Attorney: His name implies this, but we never see him practice law.
  • Arms Dealer: He sells weapons (particularly dynamite), trains soldiers, and generally helps manage the war from up high.
  • Axe-Crazy: He has manic episodes of bloodlust.
  • Children Are Special: Has become obsessed with this idea since the death of his own child. He rambles constantly about children, is motivated by the idea of them, and wants to take the next champion of the Glitz Pit as his new son.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: His son and later on Mario. He seems to love both of them dearly, though in Mario's case, it's an incredibly unhealthy case of this.
  • Evil Is Petty: The end-of-chapter narration completely undercuts his entire motivation, stating that he just wanted to use the Star's power to drive a car. He also claims that he drained Prince Mush because Mush found Grubba's "secret pumpkin".
  • Full-Frontal Assault: Once he becomes Male Grubba. While we don't actually see anything to indicate it, Goombell describes his attack pattern as him telling them how many times he can attack and then strengthing all nudity and going insane with power.
  • Hypocrite: His son is implied to have died in the war, but his entire job is taking advantage of the conflict and perpetuating it with new weapons and soldiers, even if he does intend to use his power to stop it eventually.
  • Like a Son to Me: He immediately clings onto Mario as something as a surrogate son figure. Given his history, it's equal parts heart warming, tear jerking and all around creepy.
  • Love Makes You Evil: Losing his beloved son is implied to have been the catalyst for everything he's doing now.
  • Motive Rant: Goes on a long and vaguely coherent one when Mario finally confronts him, involving children, his job being hard, and having to do many illegal things back in the day.
  • Replacement Goldfish: Seems to see Mario as one for his late son.
  • Sanity Slippage: Got hit with this bad after his son's death. It's a miracle he's even able to form semi-coherent sentences anymore, let alone do his job.
  • Stepford Smiler: He rarely ever drops his cheerful smile, even when he's clearly upset or saying something truly alarming.
  • Tragic Villain: One of the most tragic characters in the whole story.

Hawc Green

"Hey, do you think Hawc Green tells the network? I do not think so! You have sex, you dress badly, you're hot, with no belt, cables! Does your mother teach something to your mom?!?"

The very weird champion of Grubba's training program. He speaks entirely in non sequiturs and seems to be obsessed with babies.

  • Blood Knight: Regardless of how he expresses it, he certainly has a thing for battle.
  • Blow You Away: According to Goombell, he's "very good at controlling airflow", but is too bored to bother using this ability.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: How does he respond to Mario and the band climbing the ranks? He sends them a poisoned cake that is specifically meant to make Mario miscarry his and King K's child.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Despite being called Hawc Green, he's actually yellow.
  • Non Sequitur: On a level unmatched by nearly anyone else. Nothing he says makes any sense, leaving him aggressively stringing together unrelated words to brag and taunt with.
  • Straw Nihilist: Goombell's Blah reveals that he is bored with everything and believes life is lacking.
  • Verbal Tic: He mentions babies a lot, though unlike Grubba's more personal fixation, it appears to be nothing more than a nonsensical insult he uses frequently. Though he does try to make Mario miscarry.

Doopley

"INSIDE! INSIDE! INSIDE! INSIDE! INSIDE!"

A strange entity inflicting a curse on Afternoon City. Despite implications of godlike status, he's barely treated like a threat, and later joins Belda's party as a lackey.

  • Fourth-Wall Observer: He seems to be aware that he's not only in a video game, but a badly mistranslated one, at that.
  • Multiple-Choice Past: The Yoshi Kid thinks he's the mayor of Afternoon City, Sir Snow thinks he's a reporter, and Goombell thinks he's a demon. Whether any of these backstories are true is anyone's guess.
  • The Spook: One of the game's most elusive characters. He has no clear past or motivation, and is constantly spouting cryptic dialogue that is hard to understand.

Cortze

A long-deceased pirate ghost haunting the island of Boat Rent, controlling an army of Sins. She is actually Mr. Krump's late child.

  • Affably Evil: Genuinely friendly, bordering on innocent. She torments Mario's group with Sins and is the main obstacle of the chapter, but they were sailing with Flavio to attack the United States.
  • Official Couple: Revealed to be in some kind of sexual relationship with Bob by the end of the game.

Representative

Hoko Saba's equally weird older brother who has a job as a real estate representative. According to Bob, he's also a killer whale.

Queen of Shadows

"Hey, hey... You're witnessing my harvest..."

An extraordinarily powerful entity that once destroyed Rogue Harbor and may have helped start the war, and now slumbers in the Sheltered Residence beneath it. Grodan wants to collect the Glass Stars in order to awaken her, plunging the world into the depths of terrorism. She uses Peach's body as a host for the first portion of the battle.

  • The Anti-God: Often referred to as the Supergod, hinting at her unfathomable power.
  • Cats Are Mean: Professor Honesty's account of the Disaster suggests she was once a cat who was sealed away after destroying old Rogue Harbor.
  • Constantly Curious: She's very curious about Grodan and who he is, and about how Mario has diseases but remains healthy.
  • Creepy Child: Her spirit form is apparently a child.
  • Physical God: She's often referred to as a Supergod, showing her extreme power. Mario defeats her anyway.
  • Satan: Possibly. She’s referred to as the Devil multiple times, but there are multiple other characters in the game who claim that they are, though the Queen of Shadows definitely has more power to back it up than the others do.

Characters in Book of Mario 64

    Protagonists 

Goverman

"What a hell! Really! I can go, Goomb! Can I die?"

Goverman Bob Goombar is a Gum from Villa de Goomb, who, like the rest of his family, is extremely politically incorrect.

  • Armoured Closet Gay: Is possibly a self-hating gay man, judging by his reaction to Ceramics, where he describes him as the most wonderful thing he's seen.
  • Character Development: After defeating the King of Kings, Goverman starts to question his religion and becomes more positive and accepting of homosexuality to the point he marries Mr. Trooper sometime prior to Section 8.
  • Chubby Chaser: By his own admission during the Koro Tubby fight.
  • Fantastic Racism: Not that he has much of anything positive to say about anything, but he especially loathes Shame Boys. Not a Tattle goes by without Goverman insulting them in some way.
  • Freudian Excuse: It's implied that the reason Goverman acts the way he does is because of his grandfather Goomb's abuse and hyper-fundamentalist teachings.
  • The Fundamentalist: A very religious person, also looks down on basically anyone who doesn't adhere to his beliefs.
  • Heroic BSoD: If he's out when the Laser Gun fails to work, Goverman exclaims that he hates Mario and is in complete disbelief at the Stars failing.
  • Love at First Sight: He thinks Ceramics is the most wonderful thing he's ever seen upon meeting him.
  • Mundane Object Amazement: Goverman's very sheltered upbringing appears to leave him surprised that wings exist and at the sight of Goomba King's building.
  • My Friends... and Zoidberg: During his tattle on the Lighthouse God in Section 4, Goverman reveals that he does not regard himself as one of Mario's friends. Given his hate-filled character, this is hardly surprising.
    "Your friends and me (ahem) will also be destroyed."
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: Goverman is ridiculously racist, homophobic, and prejudiced against basically everyone that isn't a member of his family or part of Mario's band.
  • Princess Phase: A male version; he really wants to be a princess.
  • Time Master: His attack "Load" allows him to download the infinity of time.

Corporate

"I call to witness the end of all things, it follows... As Corporate!"

A KSD Soldier from Koopa City whose hat is stolen by a Smoker. He's a huge fan of Colorade, but takes it to...disturbing levels.

  • I Want to Be a Real Man: While not on Ceramics' level, Corporate also wants to become more manly and joins out of wanting to boost his credentials.
  • Loony Fan: He's so excited to meet Colorade he tells him he wants him, and blurts out that he's living in his house.
  • Non Sequitur: He's fond of inserting these into his speech.
  • Playing with Fire: His "Hell" move sprays flame foam on all enemies on the ground.
  • You Taste Delicious: According to Goverman, Corporate has a special flavor.

Bowler

"You slapped hammer, Mario! I want to bomb the next time you go to bed."

A female Bob-Berun who introduces herself as being in charge of the Office of Management and Budget. She started a Bomb Uprising against the Coop Notes and was imprisoned for it.

  • Control Freak: When she joins Mario's party, she immediately realizes she can't tell Mario what to do, as he's the leader. She isn't happy about it... and does it anyway.
  • The Ditz: She doesn't think about what to do to escape until Mario arrives, and then beats herself up for it.
  • Hopeless Suitor: A Bob-Berun in Koopa City is head-over-heels for her but she's not interested to the point she tries to get another Bob to kill him.
  • Mad Bomber: According to one of her letters, she's part of a bombing conspiracy linked to the opening of a new dry train.
  • Only Sane Man: She's the only one of Mario's party members who asks why he's following the Stellarvinden's orders. Unfortunately, since this happens during the final battle, it's too late to change anything.

Parakarius

"You are the savior! I wish I could be rewarded for your help."

A Skydiver who works as a postman but is terrible at his job, mainly due to not knowing how it works. He lives life perpetually on edge.

  • Achilles' Heel: Swallows are capable of performing deadly attacks on him. Luckily, it never seems to come into play.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Obviously he misplaced numerous letters, but he also remarks in Section 2 that he 'does not usually lose a mountain'. Indicating that sometimes, he has managed to.
  • Going Postal: The letter sidequest makes him completely done with everything, and he joins Mario to wreak havoc on the world.
  • Meaningful Name: His name is close to "precarious," fitting his unhinged personality and general state of mind.
  • Sanity Slippage: The letter sidequest takes a huge toll on his sanity. By the time he's reached Goombape, he tells the man to hang himself.

Garlic

"Die! With a nuke!"

The wedding princess of Boo House. She is married to Abu Boots Alcohol, who doesn't treat her very well, and is also the head of a satanic cult trying to sacrifice Tubbs Fat.

  • Adaptational Villainy: Hoo freaking boy, it might be safe to say she's Book of Mario 64's equivalent of Carbon in this regard. Canon Lady Bow is just a rich Boo who wants to save her people from being Eaten Alive by Tubba Blubba. She might be unapologetic about scaring the living daylights out of him, since it's just in her nature, but she still backs off him and sticks with Mario to help save the world. Lady Garlic, on the other hand, joins to finish a botched sacrifice on Saint Tony Tubbs Fat (who's implied to be her own son) to Satan, ruin his mental tranquility, and mentions wanting to abolish love.
  • Domestic Abuse: It's implied she's being abused by her husband, Abu Boots Alcohol, and needs to use her Real Vision to avoid his wrath.
  • Freudian Excuse: There's some implications that her cruelty and atrocities may be a form of coping for her. She's abused by her husband, and according to Scientist, she's had to bear witness to a huge amount of suffering in Dubai.
  • The Scottish Trope: Apparently, her real name has been revoked by heaven itself, likely due to the many unspeakable atrocities she has committed in the name of Satan, so the Bumpies simply call her "Garlic" in reference to how she smells.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Your only party member with outright evil motives, such as performing satanic sacrifices on her own son or wanting to abolish love.

Smoke

"We like the big whale. Whee!"

A tiny light bulb who was imprisoned by Lighthouse God. She starts out in horrible pain from the glass shards from her lantern prison, and has low self-esteem in general.

  • Death Seeker: If Mario uses Bowler on her lantern she wonders why it didn't blow her to death.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Fairly justified given her young age, but Smoke says in Involved City that there is no evidence of humans, despite having travelled with Mario extensively.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: She has low self-esteem and thinks she isn't of use to anyone, but high heels are.
  • Missing Mom: Unlike vanilla 64, where her mother is offscreen but alive, here she's dead.
  • Tsundere: If Mario tries to leave she says she's not leaving him, only to immediately change her mind and ask him to leave her alone.

Sushiya

"Oh, Shit...I'm safe. I feel a lot of pain."

A Chep Cheese who sells drugs to the children of Vas Yoshi, whom she's supposed to be supervising. She likes romance novels but has little patience for stupidity.

  • Babysitter from Hell: Downplayed. Despite the above description of her, the Yoshi children seem to actually benefit from the substances she sells them. Their intelligence is apparently boosted, having them go as far as successfully suing five courts.
  • The Cynic: Sushiya is pretty cynical about most things, especially Mario's intelligence.
  • The Drifter: She used to be a drug dealer who drifted from town to town.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Sushiya initially tries to ditch the party going by her join message, and if she's out when the Laser Gun fails she suggests they run for it.
  • Took a Level in Idealism: She joins Mario's band to become a better person and become more idealistic.

Ceramics

"I have to watch music."

A tough-talking Pillow Case whose preferred name is Spike. His arms are made of spinach, and his girlfriend is Legend. He initially worked for Huff N. Blovas, but joins Mario's band soon after.

  • Apologizes a Lot: He apologizes to Mario frequently before and after his boss fight.
  • Birthday Episode: He joins the party on his birthday according to his join message.
  • I Have Many Names: He goes by Spike, Michael, Thorn?, Lakilesteriin, and Legal Lester, while his real name is Ceramics.
  • I Want to Be a Real Man: One of his defining character traits is wanting to become a real man.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Unfortunately for Goverman, Ceramics is in a committed relationship with Legend, a female Pillow Case.

    Supporting Characters 

The Stellarvinden

A mysterious group of stars that creates a star conference team, consisting of Fire, Nurse, Scientist, Muscles, Star, Kevin, and Karl Marquez. Browser has kidnapped them, and it's up to Mario to rescue them all. They've been possessing Mario throughout Book of Mario 64, and are the architects behind the War.
  • Adaptational Villainy: The Big Good, deity-like figures of the original Paper Mario 64 are turned into genocidal lunatics bent on wiping out nearly all life on the planet.
  • Big Bad Ensemble: With the Star of Rodin; they aim to capture and use it to purge the world of all non-believers, and possess Mario to have him be the vessel for their plans.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Karl Marquez helps Mario's star power grow in 7 years' time, which frees him in the epilogue.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Scientist has...questionable advice for Mario, to say the least.
  • Demonic Possession: They possess Mario for the majority of the game to aid in their plans.
  • Final Solution: Their big plan boils down to killing everybody but the seven people who still believe in them.
  • Gender Flip: Skolar was male in 64, but in BoM is the female Scientist.
  • Girls With Mustaches: Scientist has a mustache to accentuate her supposed smarts.
  • God Is Evil: They're basically deities in the world of the series, and they cause huge amounts of conflict to kill off all non-believers in the world.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: They're this for Thousands of Doors, having possessed Mario and forced him to cause the events that would escalate or even become the direct cause of the War, seemingly because they wish to purge the world since only seven people still believe in the stars.
  • The Mole: The King of Kings' creation, Karl Marquez, helps ruin the Stellarvinden's plan by freeing Mario of their control.
  • Odd Name Out: Kevin and Karl Marquez have the only normal-sounding names among the group.
  • Token Good Teammate: Of the Stellarvinden, Karl Marquez seems to be the only one who truly disagrees with their plans, telling Mario he doesn't have to fight Browser, and can still walk away and save his soul.
  • Treacherous Advisor: While they seem friendly and offer advice, their plan is to take back the Star of Rodin and commit genocide, using Mario as a puppet.
  • Walking Spoiler: It's incredibly hard to talk about their role in the story without mentioning exactly what they're planning and how they're going about it.

Tinka

A starred child sent from Star Port to help Peach, though he does a pretty terrible job of it and seems to strongly dislike her.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: Canon Twink was a cute, helpful Star Kid who sincerely wanted to help Peach and regretted that he couldn't do more. Tinka, on the other hand, is an incredibly unhelpful brat who frequently roasts Peach, talks about how he doesn't care about her, and lies to Mario that she's dead at one point.
  • Easily Impressed: Outright states that he is impressed when Muscles supposedly remembers his name. It's heavily implied that Muscles did not remember his name.
    • Of course, it could be that he was pretending to be impressed in order to stay on Muscles's good side... Especially considering how the Stellarvinden react to people not giving them proper respect and worship.

Colorade

A KSD professor who's constantly searching for treasure, which he believes is his girlfriend. He has a tumultuous relationship with his wife, and Corporate.
  • Cargo Ship: Colorade's obsession with the treasure in Section 5 appears to extend into the romantic.
  • Noodle Incident: In the epilogue, Parakarius comes with a message from Colorade's wife, saying:
    "Do not return to your home, the clowns came back!!!"

Paul

A mysterious quizmaster who is the favorite of all. He provides very cryptic hints to Mario in his quizzes at times, and his true power is unfathomable.
  • Ascended Extra: In the original Paper Mario 64, Chuck Quizmo is a side character with no real role in the plot. Paul, on the other hand, not only provides hints to the overall plot of Book of Mario 64, but plays a vital role in the finale.
  • Back for the Finale: In Section 8, even if you've completed all of his quizzes, Paul uses his powers in the final battle to stop Browser's invincibility.
  • Catchphrase: Say it with us:
    KAAAAAAAAA! Paul is the favorite of all!
  • Figure It Out Yourself: His quizzes are cryptic by design, but the hints to the overall story are invaluable.
  • Spanner in the Works: His and Karl Marquez's assistance after the Final Battle in freeing Mario of the Stellarvinden's control ultimately puts a stop to their genocidal plot.
  • Wham Line: His final quiz question provides the Stellarvinden's motivation by revealing only seven people total still believe in the Stars.

    Minor Characters 

Goverman's family

Goverman's family includes his grandpa Goomb, his sister Goombaru, his father Goombape, his grandmother Goomilta, and his unnamed mother. He additionally has a brother, though he's never seen. Like Goverman, for the most part they're extremely sheltered and politically incorrect.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Goomilta is prone to fits of fancy and being extremely incomprehensible, likely due to her advanced age.
  • Unnamed Parent: Unlike vanilla 64, where Goombario's mother is named Goomama, here she's nameless.
  • White Sheep: Goombape, unlike his son, enjoys fishing and seems to be more tolerant than the rest of his family. He tells Goverman to be woke and cool, and that a calm spirit is smarter.

Jeff

The gate outside Vila de Goomba, he's broken at the beginning of the game. Immediately after Jeff is fixed, Kamopa Kamopa kills Jeff with a yellow block, making him the first named character to die.
  • Companion Cube: Goverman and his family named the town gate Jeff and treat him as if he were alive.

Koop Kotu

An elderly Troop of KSD who rambles on about women and money, and badgers Mario into doing favors for him.
  • Intergenerational Friendship: He wants to be closer with Lewis and asks for his autograph, though what Lewis gives him is...questionable.
  • Perilous Old Fool: He talks about how lucky he is joining the Chosun People's Army, implying he still wants to be active despite his advanced age.

Oxford Herringvai

A gay penguin author, gamer, comedian, hitman, military general, assassin, and city planner, who is best friends with President Harper.
  • The Ace: If his resume is anything to go by.

    Antagonists 

Captain Mr. Mark Trooper

"No one uses legs without my consent! Nothing!"

A young loud-mouthed KSD Soldier that is the chairman of the Quarter Group. He serves as a recurring obstacle throughout Mario's journey as he attempts to prevent him from starting the War.

  • Ambiguous Situation: It's not entirely clear whether he's aware Mario is possessed by the Stellarvinden or not but he is still attempting to stop the War from occuring.
  • Anti-Hero: Even though he's the chairman of the otherwise benevolent Quarter Group, he's still a troublemaker in Villa de Goomb and doesn't tolerate "foreigns" entering his garden.
  • Fantastic Racism: He doesn't take too kindly to the presence of "foreigns" in his garden.
  • Grade-School C.E.O.: Despite being relatively young, he's still somehow the chairman of a holding company.
  • Hero Antagonist: Despite his rude personality, he's ultimately attempting to stop Mario to prevent the War from happening because "it leads to anger".
  • Last-Name Basis: He's always referred to as just "Mr. Trooper," with the exception of Goomb briefly referring to him by his first name before he shows up for the first time.
  • No Indoor Voice: Almost all of his voiced lines have him yelling loudly.

King of Goomba

"Are you ready for my ass, Mario? You'd better be!"

The arrogant King of the Goomba Goomba and Dominica, he isn't a big threat despite his size.

  • Bad Boss: He mistrusts his servants and yells at them to leave him alone.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He’s much less sympathetic than most of Browser’s minions, but he still ends up helping out his servants after they lie that Mario touched them.
  • Starter Villain: He's the first major threat Mario faces and goes down pretty easily.
  • Token Evil Teammate: He and his crew are among the most straightforwardly evil of Browser's main followers, in contrast to many of them having noble traits or tragic backstories.

Coop Notes

"Hey y'all! Coop Notes here!"

A gang of KSD soldiers that guard Fire at Benteng Coop Notes and work for UPS. They include I'm Tired, I'm Scared, I'm Afraid, and Great Cop. They use a Browser disguise against Mario at first.

  • Anti-Villain: While they imprisoned Bowler, she's implied to be a terrorist, and the Coop Notes are more focused on being fun, bringing popularity back, and trying to impress Browser than doing anything malicious. note 
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Browser is initially unimpressed with them, as is Kamopa, and neither of them hold the Coop Notes' intelligence in high regard.
  • Odd Name Out: Great Cop is the only one whose name isn't descriptive of his mood.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: When not working for Browser, they work for UPS.

Full Coop

"You fool! You do not see my feelings, right? You are idiot!"

The resident ruler of the sand castle Dry too Dry, in which he lives with his mother. Very VERY Tsundere and hates people in general after his volunteer center was attacked.

  • Anti-Villain: He founded Chomps, a volunteer center, but at some point the center was assaulted, forcing him to work for Browser to make ends meet. Even Goverman suggests donating to his cause.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: After his volunteer center was attacked he withdrew to his sand castle and refused to come out.
  • Momma's Boy: Lives alone in his fortress with only his mother for company.
  • Reduced to Dust: He threatens that his mother will turn Mario and company into sand, though it's never carried out.
  • Tsundere: Pretty much his big character trait. As Mario ventures through Dry too Dry, he constantly gets angry with him for not caring about his feelings, then starts later apologizing for it.

Saint Tony Tubbs Fat

"3000! What is it? Talent..."

A Clubb who resides in his fort and likes to eat grease buckets to get onto the news. He's actually an extremely nice guy, but the only way to rescue one of the Stellarvinden is to help Garlic finish sacrificing him to Satan after her ritual went wrong. The original ritual removed his sentient heart and weakness, Koro Tubby, from his body.

  • Adaptational Heroism: Sure, Tubba Blubba wasn't as evil as a lot of the other chapter bosses in Paper Mario, essentially being a frightened man who asked Bowser to be invincible so he wouldn't have to worry about the Boos, but he was still working with Bowser and had a habit of eating Boos alive as his idea of revenge. Tubbs Fat, on the other hand... well, let's just say that "Saint" part isn't just for show. He wants to be on the news as his motivation, has apparently been framed for crimes, and is the victim of a satanic sacrifice, and "working for Browser" certainly carries a much different meaning in this context.
  • Ambiguous Situation: The details of his sacrifice aren't exactly clear, most notably, what actually went wrong in the process: whether it was a divine intervention by the gods or Browser, a misstep by Garlic, or even Satan himself punishing the Bumpies for their atrocity.
  • Anti-Villain: Even more than the original Tubba Blubba. Tubbs just wants to be on the news and is constantly tormented by the Bumpies, and was sacrificed to Satan, which gave him an eating disorder and separated his heart from his body.
  • Attention Whore: Tubbs REALLY wants to be on the news and will go to extreme lengths to reach his goal.
  • Back from the Dead: After his apparent demise after Section 3, another Bumpie holds out hope for his return from the dead, and he's seen in the credits (seemingly) alive and well.
  • Beat Still, My Heart: His weakness is Koro Tubby, his sentient heart that was removed in the ritual.
  • Break the Cutie: After Section 3, while his sacrifice was never truly completed, he is mentioned to be left exhausted and broken by Mario and Garlic's efforts, and his heart "can now look a little in the face of anger."
  • Extreme Omnivore: Besides eating ghosts, he also eats buckets of grease with no ill effects. One of the Bumpies after Section 3 mentions he's still performing eating challenges with real gold.
  • Freudian Excuse: Garlic's sacrifice is implied to have caused his more negative traits.
  • Loved by All: Downplayed, in that he appears to be very well-loved among Browser's troops. Two minions talking to each other in Section 2's Peace interlude say Tubbs reaches their heart, and describe him as their 'weakness'.
  • Nice Guy: A genuinely friendly person who doesn't know any better than to welcome robbers into his own home.
  • Nothing Is Scarier: What the sacrifice entailed and what went wrong is never revealed but what's implied isn't pleasant at all, with a Bumpie explaining that "the situations with unsurpassed sheer madness to utter" and that the sky went dark. Goverman's Gossip entry on Koro Tubby includes "Experience the disaster that turned him... It's a bright light!".
  • Our Ghosts Are Different: After Section 3, a Bumpie implies he's passed on, with his ghost now eating real gold.
  • Related in the Adaptation: Implied. He might be Garlic's son, which adds a concerning layer to her motivations.
  • Sacrificial Lion: In a meta sense, his defeat as the main "antagonist" of Section 3 signals the first very glaring case of The Bad Guy Wins, prompting the player to think over the righteousness of their previous and future actions and ultimately foreshadowing the game's final twist.
  • Tragic Villain: An innocent resident of HOPE PROCELLOUS who was the victim of a satanic sacrifice - or at least, should have been, before something went wrong and turned him into what he is now, giving him heaps of issue in the process.

Lighthouse God

"I hate light... So... I'll take you... In the dark..."

A reclusive being who the Shame Boys apparently worship as a god, who holds Smoke captive. He takes quite the creepy liking to Mario upon seeing him.

  • Yandere: A pretty textbook example, with love at first sight, direct threats to Mario, and many stalker-ish undertones.

Common Man

"I want to lose?"

The leader of the Shame Boy Tough Gang, a group of Russian hackers that makes their base in the Stupid Guy Guy Box. He's not very enthusiastic about his job, to say the least.

  • Child Soldiers: The first wave of Shame Boys is the Child Squad, who are all named Timmy.
  • Deliberate Under-Performance: Common Man really doesn't want to win his fight with Mario, and makes it known several times throughout their confrontation. It seems to be a mix of his misanthropy and his annoyance with having to guard Muscles.
  • The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: He had his hackers crash the game during Fatguy703's stream of Section 4, following his battle cry of "Uploads."
  • The Fundamentalist: Like Goverman, he has strong religious beliefs and talks about the Holy Spirit a lot, which is why he takes orders from Browser.
  • Misanthrope Supreme: Common Man flat-out says he doesn't care about people before he fights Mario.
  • Pet the Dog: Common Man apologizes to the third wave of soldiers, Comfortable Pile, after sending them out.
  • Throwing the Fight: He wants to lose against Mario, and it's implied he throws the ensuing fight.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Like King of Goomba, he's one of Browser's more evil lackeys, having child soldiers working for him and hating people in general.

Piranha's Life

"FUCKING FUN SET! You knew it, MARIO!"

A three-headed Piranha Factory and cleaning plant who guards Star, planning to turn her into a product material. She likes to trade, and also seems to like Mario, not that it stops her from attacking him.

  • Anti-Villain: When Mario meets her she says that the bad guys were starving, explaining her kind's tendency to bite. Defeating her makes the volcanic eruptions worse with Browser's absence. Given her status as a cleaning plant and constant hunger, it's also implied she and her minions took care of invasive species that are now left unchecked.
  • Man on Fire: The second battle phase has her start out on fire. According to Goverman, her flames were born on fire.
  • Noodle Incident: Goverman's second tattle reveals she somehow survived a sink.
  • Villainous Crush: Implied to have a crush on Mario as she says "Love you, Mario!" before attacking.

Cop Kent

An optional boss, Cop Kent is a nearsighted police officer/ESRB enforcer from Koopa City who guards Best Way after Section 5, asking for a toll of 100 currencies to pass.

Huff N. Blovas

"Request... Now you come with me to the Air Force!"

A huge Stupid Tel who used to have Ceramics working for him. He created the Puff Puff Engines, a puff pastry shop/electronic greenhouse emitter that produces clouds, to stop the drug trade in Caeau Blodaua by blotting out their fake sun. After Mario defeats him he dies from Possum Disease.

  • Adaptational Heroism: Huff N. Puff was actually one of the vilest minions of Bowser whose plans to turn Flower Fields into a "cloud-covered paradise" would've led to death of the flowers that live there, much to his complete Lack of Empathy. Huff N. Blovas, on the other hand, is actually a Well-Intentioned Extremist who planned to block out the sun (which wouldn't have had strong negative effects on the flowers in this version of story) to stop the drug trade, even if it made the flowers even loopier than before, and "working for Browser" doesn't make him any more evil in this context.
  • Anti-Villain: He at least attempted to stop the drug trade by blocking out the sun, even if it made the flowers even more loopy.
  • Blood Knight: Seems to heavily enjoy fighting, especially if Ceramics is not out when meeting him. Blovas reveals he wants to kick Mario's butt so the Stellarvinden will never be saved and the problem permanently destroyed.
  • Explosive Breeder: Spawns smaller Pants with every point of damage, who are all his sons, and fathers, according to Goverman.
  • Giant Mook: A huge version of the smaller Stupid Tels.
  • It's a Long Story: If Ceramics is out when confronting him, he says the Caeau Blodaua situation is too complex for Mario to understand.
  • The Plague: After dying from Possum Disease, he explodes into small Pants and spreads the virus across the land.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: His methods are fairly extreme, but stopping the drug trade in Caeau Blodaua and attempting to stop the Stellarvinden's plan are noble causes.

King of Kings

"First, to convince them, Mario, you must present a gift to Browser!"

The creator of the Stellarvinden Karl Marquez. He resides in the Glass Castle, and is heavily implied to be Jesus himself, or the Holy Spirit. He's an extremely enigmatic figure, but remains loyal to Browser throughout.

  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Despite being heavily implied to be the Christian God, Mario defeats him in a fight. Browser is also above him in the ranks, having surpassed God thanks to the Star of Rodin.
  • Enigmatic Minion: While his loyalty to Browser is unquestionable, where he stands with the Stellarvinden is unclear, as he created their one rebellious member but also kept him captive.
  • God Is Good: He loyally works for Browser, who has underwent heavy Adaptational Heroism in this version, and created the single benevolent member of the Stellarvinden.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: He only appears as the boss fight for Section 7 and doesn't get much characterization during said fight, but his allegiance to Browser and creation of Karl Marquez heavily influences the plot.
  • Spanner in the Works: His creation of Karl Marquez leads to the Stellarvinden having one member in their ranks who is not okay with their plan and tells Mario he can still walk away to save his soul, then helps free him afterward.
  • The Spook: There's very little information known about him, aside from his relationship to Christianity, loyalty to Browser, and his creation of Karl Marquez.

The Star of Rodin

"When he realized we had ignored his wishes, Star of Rodin came in and stole him to fullfill his wishes."
—Scientist
The wish granting Artifact of Power belonging to the Stellarvinden that was stolen by Browser. Turns out it's not as inert as people were led to believe and possesses ulterior motives.

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