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At least it's honest...
"My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. I like my sister Constance, and Richard Plantagenet, and Amanita phalloides, the death-cap mushroom. Everyone else in my family is dead."

When a mundane conversation goes bad. You're winding up a boring conversation, and throw in one last thing in there. And that one last thing was praise for the Ku Klux Klan, or a plan to kill the Mayor, or a swear word, when you had been talking about options for where to eat dinner or something.

"So yeah, we'll just run out for pizza, catch a movie, maybe go out for a couple drinks, and lynch that bastard. Sound good?"

Bonus points for the listener asking with a horrified tone "What was that last one again?" and the last harmless option before the horrifying one being repeated instead.

"What, go out for a couple drinks?"

A common variation has one additional, harmless (but often comically inappropriate) item tacked on to the end of the list. This allows other characters to react in horror — to the wrong thing:

"So yeah, we'll just run out for pizza, catch a movie, murder my next door neighbor, and, if we have time, go skydiving."
"Are you crazy? I'm terrified of airplanes."

This variation also implies that the speaking character knew that the "Squick" item is controversial, and so it is all the easier for the other characters to miss it if they added something else onto the list.

Another variation has a person finding a to-do-list and it will be something like:

1. Write out bills.
2. Return library books.
3. Finish and commence with assassination plot.

A more subtle trick is when the Squick is revealed by a change in the camera shot.

Compare Breathless Non Sequitur, Weird Aside. Sister Trope to Too Much Information and Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs (occasionally, this and Breaded Eggs overlap, to make a bad list even worse). Contrast Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, which is in the opposite order and where the mood is lightened by including something silly. Frequently overlaps with Mood Whiplash.

When this trope name is taken literally, see: Oh Wait, This Is My Grocery List.


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    Advertising 
  • Big Bill Hell's features a few examples, being a Parody Commercial that heavily leans into Abusive Advertising and copious amounts of profanity:
    • "Bring your trade! Bring your title! Bring your wife! We'll fuck her!"
    • "Don't wait! Don't delay! Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!"
  • The current trope picture is from Constance Bay, Ottawa. Apparently, the backstory behind the sign is that it had a blank space in a group of six boxes, and the sign makers having a good sense of humor, decided to fill it in.
  • A DirecTV ad has Bon Jovi extolling the virtues of being able to "go back in time" and watch past episodes of TV shows that a married couple have missed, then starts singing about other uses for the ability to go back in time and correct mistakes, starting with choosing a different kind of salsa and ending with deciding not to have a second child, whereupon the salsa changes and the couple's youngest son vanishes from existence, meaning the ad effectively ends with Bon Jovi killing a kid because his parents didn't want him.
  • The Claude the Cat PSA about loose connections has Claude talking about the signs a connection is loose. He starts out with simple things like a frayed cord or a loose plug, but then ends with "or if the bed suddenly catches fire".
  • There is a commercial for Pay As You Go phones, where a cell phone from the 1980s and a pink modern cell phone are the proud parents, extolling the benefits of their new baby cell phone and how it is going to help people save money on their monthly talk, text, and data plans. And then they walk off screen to go raise some bars, if you know what we mean.
  • This unknown anti-drug ad: "She's on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and Heroin."
  • A series of PSAs by Children of the Street about child predators in online gaming has a cartoon character describe their superpowers, ending with "sending nude photos to your kids," "tricking your kids into sending me nude photos," and "luring your kids to meet in real life."

    Alternate Reality Games 
  • Omega Mart sells Shrubs Frozen Avacado Treats, Whale Song Antiperspirant and Antidepressant, Dark Matter Cleaning Spray, Omega Goatmeal, Omega Mart Lemons (not to be confused with lemons), Orange Drink, and Gestating Mammal Liquid, available in Millk, Toast Paint, with Added Bacteria, and Aged forms! Among other various products, of course.

    Anime & Manga 
  • Aggretsuko: In the season one finale of the Netflix series, Director Ton complains that three of their employees are out during an end-of-quarter crunch. Haida's out sick with pneumonia, Tsubone fractured her wrist trying to open her own Impossible Pickle Jar, and Kabae somehow got arrested on suspicion of espionage.
  • Assassination Classroom has Nagisa, who idly chats with a classmate and says that, in the coming school year, he'd like to get to know everyone in class 3-E, live his life without leaving things undone, and kill their teacher. Not as psychotic as it sounds, because the teacher in question is a high speed bipedal octopus smiley faced monster that is going to blow up the Earth if they don't kill him in a year's time. Also, the class 3-E was essentially conscripted by japanese government for that exact purpose, so from their point it's a perfectly normal thing to say. It Makes Sense in Context.
  • Brave10 contains a visual example. While Saizo is complaining about the other Braves goofing off, there are images of Sasuke hanging out with his animals, Anastasia sitting by a river and Kamanosuke threatening a villager.
  • In A Certain Scientific Railgun, two lab employees are discussing the health of the latest Misaka clone, before ordering her to clean up about a dozen identical-to-her corpses, just recently murdered.
  • Code Geass R2: When C.C. loses her memories, she starts counting her skills to her "new lord": preparing food, cleaning, fetching water, tending cows and sheeps, sewing, she can read a little bit and count up to twenty and cleaning corpses.
  • Crayon Shin-chan:
    • The English Gag Dub has Shin's mother saying "You'll just waste your money on kiddie crap like trading cards, video games, and crystal meth".
    • Another episode had Ai's bodyguard having a team search a lake for a kappa, but instead found "600 catfish, 1400 minnows, a Loch Ness Monster, Penny's sister Caitlin, and 500,000 copies of Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time".
    • When Georgie and Shin are at a library, three shelves are labelled "fiction", "non-fiction", and "snuff".
  • In Death Note, L does this, all without so much as looking away from the evidence received from the tape sent by "Kira".
    L: Hair, food crumbs... oh, and by the way, if I die in the next few days, your son is Kira.
  • Often happens literally in Delicious in Dungeon, where the entire point is cooking monsters into Food Porn. Senshi's lists of ingredients will usually start out ordinary (oil, salt, vegetables, etc.) only to throw in some monster parts (giant bat flesh, sliced kraken parasite, dryad fruits) as the main ingredient.
  • Occurs several times in Elfen Lied. The most notable example involves the employees of the secret lab thing making idle chit chat as their superior (who seems a genuinely likable, if eccentric, person with a love for candy sticks). The final panel reveals that whilst the coworkers are chit-chatting and eating candy, a seemingly endless train of completely uncensored dismembered diclonii torsos—complete with dangling entrails—is trundling past the window.
  • Fullmetal Alchemist gives us this... magnificent example. For bonus points, they're all true.
    Raven: Have you heard any interesting rumors lately, Mustang?
    Mustang: Only the ones too absurd to be worth mentioning. Scar being sighted feeding a stray cat. A man who can't be killed no matter how hard you try. King Bradley is a homunculus...
  • Future Diary: At chapter 56, Yuno's feelings for the 2nd world Yukki are very confusing, so she plays a Tsundere with her unique style:
    Yuno: No, no no no! I've already abandoned this Yukki! I don't like him or anything. Not only that, I'm the one trying to kill him right now!
  • In the Yuri Genre manga Hanjuku Joshi, Chitose is out jogging when she bumps into her teacher Ran doing the same. She asks Ran a bunch of innocent jogging-related questions, and then concludes with "Does Sensei insert her finger when doing lecherous acts with girls?" Ran carelessly answers "Yes!" before she can process what the question is.
  • In the dub of Hetalia: Axis Powers, baseball is described as "some kind of game. You need a stick, a ball, and steroids."
  • Horimiya: When Iura asks Ishikawa why Miyamura and Sengoku are excusing themselves from taking a mandatory swimming class in the pool, Ishikawa responds that Sengoku's arm blew up and that Miyamura is on his period.
    Iura: Ah.
    (Beat)
    Iura: ...Huh?
    Ishikawa: Well, it's summer. A lot of things blow up this time of year.
  • In Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun, when Mikoshiba is shanghaied into being a model for Sakura's art club, most of the girls let him do poses appealing to them. Sakura has him imitate Nozaki at work, other girls have him do stock sexy poses... and one girl has him pose as a guy crawling pathetically after an angry girlfriend after breaking up due to his infidelity. Said girl looks upon the scene with a very pleased smile, weirding out the rest of the club.
  • A visual version of this happens in One Piece when all the Straw Hats are shown separately finding a secret message Luffy sent them. It's simply each crew member individually saying "I get it!", until it ends with a view of Franky, who was last seen in the middle of an explosion, and now has most of his face burned clean off.
  • Oni Ai: When Akito falls ill, Arisa brings in a massive selection of foods as well as a few non-food items to help him get well. She lists out the non-food items: "... pickled plum to crush on your forehead, a sake-soaked hot cloth, a fried leek to insert rectally, some garlic..."
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena uses the camera shot version of this. A character (Our protagonist, Utena) lying in bed has what seems like a meaningless monologue about lunch until the audience realizes the scene is establishing that the character is having (or just had) sex. Then it shows with whom they had the sex, Akio, who's more or less her principal... and the villain of the series... and she's fourteen years old, which is where the squick really comes in.
  • Samurai Champloo: In "Elegy of Entrapment, Verse 2", when Fuu and Jin sense that Sara is being manipulated, Mugen responds with "Take your pick. We've dined and dashed, snuck through a checkpoint, and, oh yeah, killed people."
  • Parodied in one episode of Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei when discussing how people mention very important (and urgent) things in a casual tone. Examples included: "You're all held back for another year, see you tomorrow"; your parents explaining to your neighbor that you were an accidental child; finding out that your parents divorced last week, not bothering telling you and act like it's no big deal. The entire class decides to shout out meaningless trivialities in overly dramatic manners. Chiri decides it looks fun and joins in...By revealing she's been doping her sister with illegal injections in an overly dramatic manner, not only subverting the intent of the exercise but also revealing that doing so is apparently is a meaningless triviality to her.
  • Okabe of Steins;Gate uses this to describe Ruka:
    Okabe: Ruka Urushibara. Delicate as an orchid. Fair as a cherry blossom. The personification of feminine grace... and a dude. Tall as a willow, slender as a reed...a dude. Radiant in shrine vestments...dude. The sun dips low in the rosy sky. Cicadas buzz. Ruka...is a dude.
  • The Summer You Were There has a dramatic and shocking example at the end of the penultimate chapter.
    Shizuku narrating: The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, and the news of Kaori's passing.
  • In Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead, Akira is thoroughly refreshed by the fact that he never has to go back to work thanks to the Zombie Apocalypse. He stops to take in all of the colors and sights he'd long forgotten after years of staring at a computer monitor. Blue skies, green trees, and bright red blood.

    Comedy 
  • Deadcoders Reviews: "We had some good Sissi moments, a decent fight scene, drama without the midair-halting laser beam, and two people murdering what was effectively their child"
  • The Pete and Brian sketch "Knock Knock" takes the classic "priest, rabbi and shaman walk into a bar" joke and somehow turns it into being about how someone's dad molested them within the space of a few sentences.
    A priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar!
    But there's no rabbi and no shaman [laughs] and it's actually my eighth birthday and the priest is molesting me.
    And the priest is my dad and he's not a priest.
    ...
    My dad molested me... a lot.
You might know this sketch from AMV Hell 4.
  • Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey did this quite often.
    Some people think clowns are funny, but I think they're scary. I think it goes back to the time when I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
  • One of the observations of Yakov Smirnoff about the things you can buy at an American grocery store, a bit more literally following the trope than usual:
    "Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder... what a country!"
  • Robin Williams once made a joke about Prince Albert.
    "Victoria, I'm dying. I want you to name a museum, a performance hall, and a bolt through the cock after me."

    Comic Books 
  • From the 6th issue of the comic adaptation of Kingdom of Loathing, quoth a demon kid's mom: "Your ten minutes of unstructured playtime are up! Time for ballet, then swimming, then disembowelment of the damned, then piano lessons!"
  • The cover for the issue where Lois Lane married Superman (original here):
    She weds him in his Clark Kent identity! She adopts a secret identity of her own! She even makes a deal with the DEVIL!
  • The things Richard Dragon associates with rejoining civilization are presented in this manner:
    I'm so glad I rejoined civilization. Drive-trough windows, cell phones, false arrests.
  • The Sandman (1989): The narration when the chairman of the "Cereal" Convention is psyching himself up for a speech. "You're the chairman of the convention committee. You're a successful orthodontist. You have a shack out in Vermont that no one knows about, with four full chest freezers..."
  • Scott Pilgrim: Ramona listing off all the teas in her pantry in the first book.
    ...Green Tea, Green Tea with lemon, Green Tea with Honey and Lemon, Liver Disaster, Ginger with honey...
  • Inverted in the first issue of Squee. Pepito (the Antichrist) goes into a long speech about evil and damnation when asked to introduce himself to Squee's class and abruptly drops, "My dog's name is Woofles" before continuing with his monologue.
  • Ads for the DC Rebirth run of Supergirl state "The girl of steel takes on high school, driver's ed and her evil cyborg zombie dad bent on world conquest!"
  • Tarn of The Transformers: More than Meets the Eye, head of the Decepticon Justice Division (a pack of Decepticon enforcers that other Decepticons are terrified of), is described as a music lover, classical scholar, and mass murderer.
  • Transmetropolitan: It says something about the future setting when one can go into a fancy restaurant and not immediately get kicked out or worse for ordering the following:
    I'll have another bottle of Chilean merlot, the raspberry pavlova, ten minutes of oral sex and an ambulance, please.
  • Young Avengers: Before running off to Latveria alone in the middle of the night, Billy Kaplan made sure to leave Teddy Altman a note:
    You are without a doubt the best boyfriend in the entire world. You're kind. You're generous. You threaten to maim people for me.

    Comic Strips 
  • From the original Charles Addams The Addams Family comics, was a wardrobe filled with suit bags, each labeled as being another portion of Uncle Nick Nack's wardrobe. The last one (which bulged suggestively)? "Uncle Nick Nack". This joke was used in the film.
  • One Baby Blues strip has a babysitter hired by Daryl and Wanda who packed her babysitting gear: games, cards, snacks, art supplies, and a taser.
  • In Candorville, Lemont is trying to sue for custody of his son from his evil ex-girlfriend, who has the advantages of being the kid's mother, white, and very wealthy (and possibly a vampire who wants to be a daywalker). When Lemont asks why she hasn't been served yet, he gets this in response.
  • In Garfield: The April 10, 2022 strip has Garfield and Odie enjoy the sights that emerge for the first time in springtime: green grass, flowers, a robin... before they jump in fright to seeing Jon wearing shorts.
    Garfield: And the first snow-white legs of spring.
  • In a Meaning of Lila strip Drew lost her baby in a car accident a few days earlier, which was apparently caused by her texting to Lila while driving.
  • From Real Life Adventures, two guys meet up in a snowfall. One brings up The Fifth Horseperson of the Apocalypse: "Yeah, there's pestilence, famine, war, death, and your ex-wife."
  • In the March 17, 1986 strip of U.S. Acres, Orson is told that he can't stay at the farm he's growing up at due to his status as a runt.
    Orson: That's okay. I could use a change of scenery anyway. I'll be able to go to bed when I want to and get up when I want to... and starve to death when I want to!

    Film — Animation 
  • In Beauty and the Beast, The Beast asks Cogsworth for advice on what to give Belle. Cogsworth replies "Flowers, chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep..." Doubly awesome considering that David Ogden Stiers, Cogsworth's voice actor, adlibbed this end to the line just to be funny. Expecting to get a laugh and then re-record it, the director loved it and kept it in.
  • Coco: The things Héctor borrowed from Chicharrón include his van, lasso, good napkins, mini-fridge, and femur.
  • The Great Mouse Detective shows Fidget's list of things to get for the plan: "Tools. Gears. Girl. Uniforms."
  • Ice Age: "Isn't there someone else you can annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?"
  • In Kung Fu Panda 2, after Po's father reveals that he found him in a basket outside his shop one day, Po needs to know a few things:
    "I just have so many questions. Like how did I ever fit in this tiny basket? Why didn't I like pants? And who am I?"
  • From The LEGO Movie, when Emmet is incredulous to find out that President Business is actually an Evil Overlord plotting to bring about The End of the World as We Know It.
    Emmett: But he's such a good guy! And Octan... they make good stuff: music, dairy products, coffee, TV shows, surveillance systems, all history books, voting machines... wait a minute.
  • In Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch, Lilo describes the story of the Hawaiian goddess Hi'iaka as a story about friendship, jealousy, and death by molten lava.
  • Madagascar: King Julien complains about the fossa.
    King Julien: The fossa. They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.
    • There’s also the beginning of the movie when you see photos taken by visitors of the zoo. They consist of Alex posing, Marty running, Gloria swimming, and Melman receiving medical attention.
  • Done by Max in Mary and Max.
    Max: Do you have a pet kangaroo? When I was born, my father left my mother and me on a kibbutz. She shot herself with my uncle's gun when I was 6. Do you like chocolate hot dogs?
  • Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph, while searching for a medal in a lost-and-found box, instead finds a Super mushroom, a ! from Metal Gear, and Zangief's wrestling trunks.

    Film — Live-Action 
  • The Addams Family: As Morticia is doing inventory of the various sacks from a cupboard:
    Morticia: Uncle Knick-Knack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Knick-Knack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Knick-Knack...
    • Pretty much every time an Addams starts listing something innocuous, they'll end here.
  • Airplane! uses the hell out of this trope. To name a few examples:
    Rex Kramer: (reading a newspaper headline) Passengers certain to die? (hands off the paper)
    Steve McCroskey: Airline negligent?
    Johnny Hinshaw: There’s a sale at Penney’s?!
    • Also, when the Chicago airport prepares for a potential crash-landing, a parade of trucks pour out onto the runway, including a Budweiser truck.
    • And when Striker takes over the pilot’s seat and asks Elaine to relay his messages to Rex Kramer:
      Kramer: What’s the weather like?
      Elaine: Rain.
      Striker: And a little ice.
      Elaine: And a little ice.
      Kramer: How’s she handling now, Striker?
      Striker: Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
      Elaine: Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
      Kramer: Alright Striker, you’re doing just fine.
      Striker: It’s a damn good thing he doesn’t know how much I hate his guts.
      Elaine: It’s a damn good thing you don’t know how much he hates your guts.
  • American Pie: After several mundane (and utterly boring) stories from band camp, we are treated to this:
    Michelle: This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy!
  • There's a bit in The Aristocrats (the humor is Squick in its own right) where Sarah Silverman shares her "true story" of working in a theater troupe like the eponymous Aristocrats. Then she shares her account of rehearsing with Joe Franklin, a legendary vaudevillian agent who's been glorified throughout the work...but as the tale goes on, she eventually reveals, "Joe Franklin raped me." Hell, Sarah Silverman's shtick in general often involves this.
  • Played straight and inverted with Austin Powers' list of things to do before he dies:
    Become International Man Of Mystery. [crossed out]
    Save World From Certain Doom. [crossed out]
    Find True Love. [crossed out]
    Go To Outer Space. [crossed out]
    Travel Through Time, Backward and Forward. [crossed out]
    Be Cryogenically Frozen. [crossed out]
    Catch Dr. Evil in the First Act. [crossed out]
    Threesome With Japanese Twins.
    Earn Daddy's Respect.
  • In Batman Forever, Nygma tries to invent a name for his supervillain persona. He comes up with "The Puzzler", "The Gamester" and "Captain Kill".
  • The Blues Brothers: Jake's personal effects, handed back to him after three years in prison. "...One hat, black. One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled..."
    • There's also the brothers' first meeting with Willie Hall. All the more effectful because it's delivered in exactly the same blandly cheerful tone:
    So, Jake! You're out! You're rehabilitated! Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? Do you have the money you owe us, motherfucker?
  • In A Bronx Tale, an eight year old boy sees the local Mafia capo he idolizes kill a man in the street and lies about it to the police. Being a Catholic Italian-American, however, he has to talk about it when he goes to confession. He tries to not call attention to that whole "lying about a murder I saw once" thing by confessing it sandwiched in between much more mundane sins like eating meat on Friday and missing Mass. As you can probably guess, the Priest doesn't go for that routine, leading to a rather hilarious scene.
  • Clue features the characters locking a police officer in a room so they can solve the murders before he figures out what's going on (he just came in to use the phone). When he finds the door locked, he uses a creative means of getting them to open up.
    Officer: I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty...and MURDER!
    (The door is instantly opened.)
    Wadsworth: (sporting the sickliest "Oh, Crap!" Smile) What do you mean, murder?
    Officer: I just said that so you'd open the door.
  • In Cruel Intentions, Casanova Sebastian Valmont is temporarily forced to help out in an old people's home against his will. While sitting in an armchair and chatting idly with Ms. Sugarman, an elderly sufferer of Senile Dementia, he casually tells her that earlier in the day they played backgammon and that she won three times before adding "And I fucked your daughter." Ms. Sugarman says "What?" to which Sebastian answers with a Cheshire Cat Grin, "I said would you care for some water?"
  • Deadpool has the eponymous hero addressing children with this nugget in its Halloween teaser.
    Deadpool: You may be wondering why I brought you here. At some point we must all join forces and become a team. Now, how many of you have taken a human life?
    • And the Call-Back from Colossus’s "four or five moments" speech in the sequel.
      Deadpool: People think you're a hero 24/7. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Ejaculate into the soap dispenser a hero.
      Colossus: (nervously sniffing his hands.) Bozhe moy...
  • Death Race features a subtle example, when the textual introduction to the race itself warns about "Graphic content including but not limited to violence, coarse language, and death."
  • In The Disaster Artist, as Tommy Wiseau writes The Room (2003), he describes the main character: "He has it all. Good look, many friends, and also maybe Johnny is vampire. We'll see."
  • In Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd persuades Harry why they should return the briefcase to Mary because they have nothing else going for them.
    Lloyd: We've got no food! We've got no jobs! Our pet's heads are falling off!
  • Escanaba in Da Moonlight: The ingredients list for the potion starts out normally enough, with milk, yeast, and barley, but it also apparently contains roasted earthworms, blackflies, squirrel guts and the dried and powdered left testicle of a fully grown moose.
  • Early on in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a magical beast gets loose and bites a non-magical citizen, leaving a former wizard cop to furiously question Newt Scamander, the owner of the beast. Newt tries to reassure her that the bite is mostly harmless and lists off a series of minor symptoms of the bite, until he stutters and tries to avoid the subject before being forced to list the last symptom: shooting fire from the anus.
  • In Full Metal Jacket, Joker explaining to a reporter the motives why he's in The Vietnam War.
    Joker: I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill.
  • In Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, a creepy backwoods tow-truck driver tells our heroes to make themselves at home while he fixes Harold's car:
    Freakshow: Gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys'd like to go on inside, get yourself something to drink, worship, fuck my wife, watch TV... anything you want. Mi casa es su casa!
  • From the DVD commentary on Kick-Ass:
    "That's the Marc Quinn blood head, that's a Damien Hirst spot painting, that's a kid killing a man..."
  • The ventriloquist song in Kung Pow! Enter the Fist.
    "I swing a bit more. I swing a bit less. But we both swing if you know what we mean."
  • A somewhat downplayed and quite snarky example shows up in Lord of War. When the Soviet Union collapses and Arms Dealer Yuri Orlov is first able to access, pilfer, and sell the enormous Soviet arsenal all over the third world, he has a long speech where he waxes poetic about the virtues of the AK-47. At the end of talking about it and its impact on the world, he goes on to note that the AK was Russia's top export after the end of the Cold War, followed by "Vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists."
  • In L.A. Confidential, down and out actor Matt Reynolds gets roped into a blackmail scheme by having sex with the gay DA but instead ends up dead. The record keeper later tells Ed Exley that Matt's stomach contained a Frankfurter, french fries, alcohol and sperm.
  • In The Mask, when the eponymous character is being searched by the police. The items: really big sunglasses, Nerf ball, bike horn, small-mouthed bass, bowling pin, mousetrap, rubber chicken, funny eyeball glasses ("I've never seen those before in my life!"), and a bazooka. ((calmly) "I have a permit for that.") The cherry-on-top: a picture of the arresting lieutenant's wife, in lingerie with the words, "Call me lover" hand-written on the bottom.
    The Mask: Uh-oh!
    Calloway: Margaret! You son of a bitch!
    The Mask: Geez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all — YOU MARRIED HER!
  • Valentine in MirrorMask: "My mother always said, 'It's a dog-eat-dog world, son. You get them before they get you. Eat your greens. Don't embarrass me in front of the neighbors. I think it would be best if you just leave and please never come back again!' (pause) She wasn't even my real mother. She bought me from a man..."
  • The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
    And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chunks...
  • Loretta in Moonstruck, making her weekly confession: "Twice I used the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with my fiance's brother, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store. But that was an accident really."
  • In The Naked Gun, Frank tells a brainwashed Jane that his love for her has made him see things that he had never noticed before like birds singing, leaves glistening with morning dew and stop lights.
  • In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark suggests to Eddie things he could do for him like give him a snack, refill his eggnog "drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead."
  • Played straight in The Other Guys because the police chief Mauch (played by Michael Keaton) is holding down a second job at Bed Bath N Beyond:
    "First up: the new bath mats are here. Second: there's a serial rapist at Crown Heights...sorry, that's from my other job, ignore that. No wait, don't ignore it, especially if you live in Crown Heights. Walk in pairs."
  • The People vs. Larry Flynt. According to The Shooting Script, when the Real Life Larry Flynt found out about the movie, he met with the writers to go over the script as it was at that point. His objections qualified for this.
    "I would never say 'Jim Dandy'. I never served biscuits and molasses at the Club. The Jackie O issue went to three printings, not four. I never depicted Bestiality."
  • In The Princess Bride, Prince Humperdinck declines Rugen's invitation to observe Westley being tortured:
    Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.
  • In The Prophecy, Gabriel tries to get Tommy on his side by telling him of the benefits.
    Gabriel: No one tells you when to go to bed. You eat all the ice cream you want. You get to kill all day all night, just like an Angel!
  • The scene in Red Eye where Jack reveals his occupation counts, not so much in that it's a list of things, but because it comes up in the middle of an until that point very pleasant conversation.
  • The song "Chromaggia" in Repo! The Genetic Opera starts as a sad-but-harmless Italian opera song. Then Mag switches to English, declares "Come take these eyes, I would rather be blind!" and tears out her own eyes onstage.
  • The formulas on the wall of Frank's lab in The Rocky Horror Picture Show end with a shopping list for flour, eggs, bread sugar and two hypodermic needles.
  • Schindler's List: Schindler's description of the things Goeth likes, though not by his intent.
    Schindler: He is a wonderful crook. A man who loves good food, good wine, the ladies, making money-
    Stern: Killing.
  • Serenity opens with one of these. "This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode."
  • In Shaun of the Dead, Shaun comes home and asks his friend Ed if they've had any calls. Ed answers that Shaun's girlfriend Liz phoned to make sure that Shaun had made plans to eat out, before adding "...then your mum phoned to ask if I wanted to eat her out."
  • Sleeper - thawed-out-in-the-future fugitive Miles desperately tries to keep Luna from turning him in: "I'm a good person, I've got good life drives! I don't smoke, I don't drink, I would never force myself sexually on a blind person..."
  • In Society, Token Heroic Orc Clarissa offers Bill some tea.
    Clarissa: How do you like your tea? Cream, sugar, or do you want me to pee in it?
  • Star Wars: At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Bail Organa places R2-D2 and C-3PO in the care of Captain Antilles and tells him to treat them well, clean them up, and "have the protocol droid's mind wiped"... while standing right in front of said protocol droid. 3PO is understandably alarmed by the last comment, while R2 lets out a series of tittering beeps about his friend's impending misfortune.
  • Discussed in Taking Lives when Angelina Jolie's character reads to a murder suspect a list of nouns that goes something like "pants, car, house, cat, rape, incest, murder", explaining that a person's brainwaves react in a certain way to words such as the last three unless they are a sociopath.
  • The short film Tattoos has a woman explaining her body art: to remind herself that she can always find her way, of childhood with her father, and the time she killed her boyfriend.
  • Thank You for Smoking: Nick's speech to his colleagues at the MOD Squad after his Heroic BSoD
    Nick: And right there, looking into Joey's eyes, it all came back in a rush. Why I do what I do. Defending the defenseless. Protecting the disenfranchised corporations that had been abandoned by their very own consumers. The logger. The sweatshop foreman. The oil driller. The landmine developer. The baby seal poacher.
    Polly: Baby seal poacher.
    Bobby: Even I think that's kind of cruel...
  • In WarGames, when David unwittingly hacks into NORAD and accesses its Master Computer, WOPR, it brings up a list of "games", both test games and simulation software designed by the Department of Defense. Unfortunately for David and NORAD, WOPR can't tell the difference between a game and real life.
    WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME?
    FALKEN'S MAZE
    BLACK JACK
    GIN RUMMY
    HEARTS
    BRIDGE
    CHECKERS
    CHESS
    POKER
    FIGHTER COMBAT
    GUERRILLA ENGAGEMENT
    DESERT WARFARE
    AIR-TO-GROUND ACTIONS
    THEATERWIDE TACTICAL WARFARE
    THEATERWIDE BIOTOXIC AND CHEMICAL WARFARE

    GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR
  • The Wayne's World films contain a few examples of this trope. Almost all of Ed O Neill's character Glenn's dialogue in both films, in fact.
    • From the second film:
      Glenn: So Wayne, I hear you're putting on some kind of concert. That's good. People need to be entertained, they need the distraction. I wish to God that someone would be able to block out the voices in my head for five minutes, the voices that scream, over and over again: "Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?"
    • Or, also in the second movie, from super-roadie Del:
      Del: So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shop owner and his son...that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
    • Also from the second movie, one scene has Wayne chatting with a Swedish secretary. He impresses her with his knowledge of Sweden obtained while writing a report in eighth grade, and then tells her how the next day at school, he had diarrhea on the trampoline in gym class.
  • Played for laughs in The X-Files: Fight the Future-"What do you want to drink, Scully? Coke? Pepsi? Saline solution?"

    Literature 
  • Maddox's The Alphabet of Manliness features this charming gem:
    (On documenting situations where having an erection makes you gay)
    Shopping for a gun: STRAIGHT
    Shopping for a gun with your buddy: STRAIGHT
    Shopping for a gun with your buddy while you hold each others' cocks: GAY
  • Appears in American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis numerous times, to great comedic and disturbing effect. A fine example:
    Bateman: I've heard of post-California cuisine. In fact, I've eaten it. No baby vegetables? Scallops in burritos? Wasabi crackers? Am I on the right track? And by the way did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like Garfield but run over and skinned and then someone threw an ugly Ferragamo sweater over you before they rushed you to the vet? Fusilli? Olive oil on Brie?
  • In The Austere Academy Klaus's teacher makes her students measure various "ordinary objects: a frying pan, a picture frame, the skeleton of a cat."
    • Of Cafe Salmonella (a restaurant that serves only salmon dishes), the narrator has this to say: "There's nothing particularly wrong with salmon of course, but, like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, and liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it, you are not going to enjoy your meal."
  • In Ciaphas Cain: Duty Calls, Cain has to lay out the situation for a panicky civilian quickly and concisely:
    "Ciaphas Cain, regimental commissar, Valhallan 597th. My aide, Jurgen. Terrorist attack."
  • In Catalyst, Kate lists her younger brother's hobbies as trombone, soccer and masturbation.
  • The The Cattle Raid of Cooley takes a moment to rattle off Cu Chulainn's many talents, topping the quite extensive list off with "laying waste to and plundering the neighbors' border."
  • Chrysalis (RinoZ): While the (giant monstrous) ants are on the move through the countryside, Anthony has to field endless questions from Vibrant, who wants him to explain "what a farm is, why they’re necessary, the basic understanding of the human digestive tract, gut bacteria, bacteria in general and what a screaming mob of people running for their lives is."
  • In Jeramey Kraatz's The Cloak Society, the small children's quarters are furnished with beanbags, puzzles, lock-picking kits, and heavy duty tranquilizers in case any of them start to manifest dangerous superpowers.
  • Count and Countess provides this gem:
    The bailey was exquisitely decorated: I had lights all over the brush and lutenists sitting up on the palisades, I had the best of the sweet soups served there on the clothed table, I had my pageboys, five of them, hoisted up on pikes, and yet I was abandoned by all of my companions, even Istvan!
  • In Desperation, a state trooper (who turns out to be possessed by Tak) casually inserts the words "I'm going to kill you" into the middle of the Miranda rights he recites to a couple he arrested. And he does just that to the husband several minutes later.
  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid:
    • "I can name at least half a dozen jobs I can never have if I can't grow a beard or a mustache or at least some decent stubble." The jobs Greg lists? Magician, pirate, lumberjack, artist, cop, and... criminal.
    • In one of the books, Rowley brings some home videos and suggests that he and Greg watch some. They're titled "Rowley's 5th Grade Play", "TRIP TO [obscured by the DVD]LIA", and... "Rowley's Birth".
  • The special nature-bending libraries of Discworld mean that "the three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality."
    • In The Truth, Sacharissa tells William "There's a man who's lost his watch, there's a troll who wants a job, there's a zombie who wants... well, I can't make out what he wants, and there's a man who doesn't like what you wrote and wants to behead you."
    • Nanny Ogg's Cookbook has an example in the recipe for Peppermint Humbugs from Lord Downey. The last ingredient listed is arsenic. This is followed by a Publisher's Note reminding you which Guild Lord Downey is head of and instructing you to not actually add it. And a Running Gag in the rest of the recipe continuing to remind you, like "Stir quickly, before any arsenic is added" and "Now would be a good time to not add any arsenic."
  • Early Riser: The perks of joining the Winter Consul, as listed off by senior Consulate officer Jack Logan during protagonist Charlie's interview for the position of Novice:
    Jack Logan: I need a new Novice with a good memory to train up. Good career path. Exciting too. Lots of challenges. Bit of cash, extra pudding. Medium to high risk of death.
    Charlie Worthing: What was the last bit again?
    Jack Logan: Extra pudding.
    Charlie Worthing: And after that?
    Jack Logan: Coffee and mints?
    Charlie Worthing: I meant on your list.
    Jack Logan: Oh — medium to high risk of death.
  • In one chapter of his incomplete autobiography The First Third, Neal Cassady casually relates three episodes from his childhood and the lessons he learned from them. One was about thawing frozen hands with cold water rather than hot, the second was about using the bathroom, and the third was about how he just barely escaped being raped by a strange man on the way home from school by attacking him and running for his life. Much of the book reads like this, actually, with casual unexamined inserts about poverty and abuse slipped in between detailed descriptions of places and people he knew.
  • Franny K. Stein:
    • From the book The Fran With Four Brains.
    Some days she was just in the mood to hang around her lab doing regular-kid things, like playing with her toys, or reading books, or bringing a monster to life through the application of a jillion volts of electricity.
    • It is mentioned in The Frandidate that Franny's favorite subjects aside from electric power are chemistry, nuclear power and brain removal.
  • Jamaica Kinkaid's poemnote  "Girl" has a mother advising her daughter:
    "This is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child"
  • In The Girl in 6E, the title character Deanna Madden fills the reader in on the similarities between herself and her mother: "I inherited a lot from my mother, including delicate features, long legs, and dark hair, but the biggest genetic inheritance has been her homicidal tendencies."
  • In Haruhi Suzumiya, Ryoko Asakura complains about how Haruhi Suzumiya is not doing anything interesting and talks to Kyon about whether or not it is alright to enact a change to get a result even if it is dangerous right before trying to murder Kyon with a knife just to see how Haruhi would react, all without changing the pitch in her voice.
  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy:
    • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy starts like so:
      At eight o' clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very good. He woke up blearily, got up, wandered blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped off to the bathroom to wash.
    • In The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Zaphod says that if the brain-scans had revealed why he wanted to be Galactic President, the Council would have kicked him out with "nothing but a fat pension, a secretarial staff, a fleet of ships, and a couple of slit throats!"
    • From Life, the Universe and Everything:
      On the way back (the people of Krikkit) sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life and the obliteration of all other life forms.
    • In So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Arthur Dent comes home to find piles of junk mail, invitations, letters from friends saying he was never around much anymore, and a dead tabby kitten.
  • In Hundreds of Heads's How to Survive Your Freshman Year, a teen self-help guide consisting of words of wisdom from current college students, one piece of advice (likely not condoned by the publisher) reads: "Bring extra lighting for your dorm room, a mattress in case a friend comes over, and a fake I.D."
  • The In Death series: Purity in Death artfully describes Asshole Victim Chadwick Fitzhugh like this..."His hobbies were travel, fashion, gambling, and seducing young boys."
  • Liv in the Future has a list of rules at a swimming pool Liv visits:
    1. No running
    2. No diving
    3. No breathing
    4. No introducing live sea creatures to the swimming pool ecosystem
    5. No devouring live birds in the deep end (shallow end OK)
    6. No calling your grandmother (I'm sorry, but she doesn't love you as much as you thought she did)
    7. Above all, HAVE FUN! ☺
  • From The Meaning of Liff:
    Naction: The 'n' with which cheap advertising copywriters replace the word 'and' (as in 'fish 'n' chips', 'mix 'n' match', 'assault 'n' battery') [....]
  • One of the first things we hear about Lisbeth Salander, Anti-Hero of the Millennium Series, is that she was once asked by her boss at the security and investigation company she was working for to prepare a standard report on a researcher for a pharmaceutical company. The report was supposed to take about a week but dragged on for over a month, with her ignoring repeated reminders. She then silently and without warning handed him a report that, without changing tone at all, segued from the usual information about the subject's life and background to the fact that he had visited a child prostitute. She had pictures. And an interview with the girl. According to her boss this wasn't the only case where something similar happened. He really doesn't like the fact that Lisbeth doesn't give warning about what the reports might contain since he sometimes reviews them over dinner.
  • In My Name Is Red, an artist rapturously describes the beautiful horse he is drawing and finishes by comparing its rump to "the gentle butt of a boy I was about to violate."
  • Near the end of Neogicia, Saly finds two luxury dresses for herself and her roommate/best friend Loreley in her dresser, along with a note from Emperor Keynn Lucans. Saly asks Loreley, who's still lying in bed at that point and can't see the note, to guess who got them the dresses. Loreley's guesses are Saly's mentor, her own mentor and Nox Lucans, Keynn's brother and Psycho Sidekick who has become a Hate Sink by this point of the story. Loreley's logic was that it would be Nox's way to apologize for the act that got him hated by them and audience.
  • This trope is the crux of the short story The Man Who Loved Flowers (published in the anthology Night Shift).
  • Oh, the Humanity: A Gentle Guide to Social Interaction for the Feeble Young Introvert gets a lot of mileage out of this trope. For example, it lists good places to meet new friends: adult education courses, volunteering, pub crawls, and cults.
  • Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith: "On the balcony stood a man. He was a big man, wearing tired jeans and nothing on his feet. His torso was naked except for tiny whorls of hair, and he didn't have a head."
  • In Oracle of Tao, the Aiken Monastery is known for its tight security, using not only a lie detector but also a fortuneteller to detect whether new visitors will cause trouble. However, one day their main guard is sick:
    The guards simply stamped our fingerprints, checked our passports, and harvested stem cells from our bone marrow before letting us through. I swear, without her running things, the whole system was pretty lax!
  • Percy Jackson and the Olympians: In The Battle of the Labyrinth, a classroom full of young telkhines (human/dog/sea lion-hybrid monsters) is treated to an educational movie about telkhine puberty.
    Narrator: As a young sea demon matures, changes happen to the monster's body. You may notice your fangs getting longer and you may have a sudden desire to devour human beings. These changes are perfectly normal and happen to all young monsters.
  • The infamous "children's" book Sam and Lucy, starring the two titular dogs:
    Sam and Lucy liked each other a lot. They played tag... they danced... they rolled in the dirt... and they mated.
  • Six of Crows: Jan Van Eck's litany of everything he tried to teach his severely dyslexic son Wylan to read ranges from the expected, to the creative, to the horrifying.
    Van Eck: I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I've tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism.
  • In the final novel of the Star Trek: Vanguard series, Cerventes Quinn has been banned from most of Vanguard station's drinking establishments for such offenses as picking fights, failing to pay his tab...and urinating over the bar.
  • A Study in Emerald contains a really creepy example. Our protagonist describes the three plays that make up The Strand Players' performance: a wacky Mistaken Identity comedy, a melodrama about a starving urchin who's Too Good for This Sinful Earth, and a historical epic about the Old Ones awakening and conquering humanity, with the human hero welcoming them and beating to death the one man who tries to resist. And the entire audience, including our protagonists, loudly applauds all three. It's this exact moment when you realize how completely alien this Alternate History is.
    • Also by the same author, Only the End of the World Again features an overtly long example. Albeit it's more Bread, Squick, Eggs, Squick, Milk:
      There was a note under the door from my landlady. It said that I owed her for two week's rent. It said that all the answers were in the Book of Revelation. It said that I made a lot of noise coming home in the early hours of this morning, and she'd thank me to be quieter in future. It said that when the Elder Gods rose up from the ocean, all the scum of the Earth, all the non-believers, all the human garbage and the wastrels and deadbeats would be swept away, and the world would be cleansed by ice and deep water. It said that she felt she ought to remind me that she had assigned me a shelf in the refrigerator when I arrived and she'd thank me if in the future I'd keep to it.
  • This Is the Title of This Story, Which Is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself by David Moser:
    This sentence is telling you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and strangling his mother.
  • In Unique Jan's introduction has him waking up, reading a note from his grandmother about taking a ride with her friend needing to be picked up, and getting dressed and making certain he has everything he might need: "Clothes? Check. Good work boots with steel toes? Check. Wallet? Check. Cell phone? Check. Teargas grenade? Check. Silver rings? Check. Knife. Check. Pistol? Check. Keys? Check. That ought to do it."
  • In Mark Twain's The War Prayer, the prayer itself starts out like a standard, pious prayer, but quickly goes wrong when the petitioner prays to "help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds". A bit of an inversion, though; although the beginning and end of the prayer are normal, the bulk of it is completely twisted.
  • From Will Grayson, Will Grayson:
    anyway, i really need this job, which means i can't do things like yell or pin my stupid name tag upside down or wear jeans that have rips in them or sacrifice puppies in the toy aisle.

    Live-Action TV 
  • On 30 Rock, Kenneth tries to convince Jack not to shut down the NBC page program:
    Kenneth: Think of all the famous people who started as pages: Steve Allen, Regis Philbin, Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne Gacy...
  • The A-Team:
    • In the episode "Members Only", Murdock starts giving Hannibal a tour of a country club (Murdock goes there often as his psychiatrist's guest) and then discovers a plot point that is (somewhat) nastier than the other normal things:
      Murdock (sounding posh): The tennis courts are night-lit, there's an extra putting green there, that's the front nine, and that's Faceman chasing someone into the rough.
    • In the episode "The Little Town With an Accent", Face and Murdock trail the antagonist of the week back to his home base, where they find gangster Sonny Marlini. Face describes Marlini to Hannibal as tanned, healthy, and homicidal.
  • ALF: Alf's list of what to bring for an extended camp-out in the back yard included chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate pudding and... acne pads.
  • All Aussie Adventures: An episode of the 2018 series introduces Russell's 23-year-old niece Chrissie, whose list of credits includes "numerous corporate training videos, community TV presenter and her breakthrough role as Prostitute #4 in Underbelly 3". This detail becomes a lot squickier if you know that Underbelly's third season, The Golden Mile, which does indeed focus partially on prostitution, would have been filmed when she was about 15.
  • On an episode of America's Dumbest Criminals, a man's house has been robbed and he calls the police. He lists the various things that have been stolen: his wife's jewelry, his computer terminal, his TV, his VCR, his bag of dope.
  • Angel: Doyle's ex-wife Harriet prepares to marry into a family of apparently humanized, peaceful demons who nonetheless make, um, unusual wedding preparations. Harriet's prospective father-in-law reads from the to-do list: "First we greet the man of the hour. Then we drink. We bring out the food. Then we drink. Then comes the stripper, darts, and then we have the ritual eating of the first husband's brains, and then charades." The demon family, of course, objects to the charades.
  • Babylon 5:
    • In the episode "Messages from Earth", Marcus Cole is beginning a fairly standard status report but when he notices that Ivanova is not paying attention to it he starts to derail it: "There's always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon. The kind that eats the sun once every 30 days. It's a nuisance, but what can you expect from reptiles? Did I mention that my nose is on fire? And that I have 15 wild badgers living in my trousers?" (Ivanova glares at him) "I'm sorry would you prefer ferrets?"
    • Invoked by Ambassador Mollari when talking with Lord Reefa, when the former gives the latter reasons to break up with the Shadows:
      "Because I have asked you. And because your loyalty to our people should be greater than your ambition. And because I have poisoned your drink."
      • This seems to be his preferred way of convincing people. As a true diplomat, he would give his counterpart a couple innocuous reasons to do what he asks of them, but should they display the unfortunate obstinance, he unsheathes the reason # 3. Another time he uses a particularly vicious variant on his aid Vir, to coerce him into helping him with a very underhanded scheme:
      "You will do it because I asked you. Because it will help our people. Because if you do not, I will reveal everything you have done on Minbar. I will humiliate you, your family and your house. I will drive them from honor and bankrupt them. I will have them stripped naked whipped through the streets of the capital at midday and in the end, I will destroy them."
  • In The Big Bang Theory:
    • Sheldon Cooper's answers to the standard Rorschach inkblot test are "A) A bat, B) A bat, C) A bat, and D) My father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle."
    • Sheldon explains to Penny why he is taking it extremely slow with Amy Farrah-Fowler.
      Sheldon: All my life, I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others: handshaking, hugging, prostate exams...
    • At the end of the Season 12 episode "The Maternal Conclusion", Stuart and Denise try to convince Denise's roommate to move out, arguing that they're deeply in love enough to commit to each other together in the same room. Denise's roommate asks Stuart to tell Denise that he loves her — he does — and then asks Denise to say it back to Stuart (she does), before asking Stuart and Denise to say it to HIM. Cue Stuart and Denise staring back at him in awkward silence.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
    • At one point, Mayor Richard Wilkins III is shown holding a checklist containing several mundane tasks for a mayor (meet with PTA, etc.) with "Become Invincible" thrown in.
    • At the start of Season 3, Larry is excited about Sunnydale High football's prospects.
      "This is our year, I'm telling you. Best football season ever. I'm so in shape, I'm a rock. It's all about egg whites. If we can focus, keep discipline, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna *rule!*"
    • And of course Principal Snyder. Downplayed, as the first two items are still disturbing, just not in the same way.
      This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous cheerleader combustion. You can't put up with that.
    • In "Restless", Willow dreams that Giles is a director of a production of Death of a Salesman (or her idea of it). He motivates the actors by telling them to "Stay in focus, keep our heads and if Willow can stop stepping on everyone's cues...
    • Season 7: Nerd-turned-villain Andrew fails to stab a pig for his ritual and has to buy the blood instead, so he tries to disguise the "squick" item by tacking on a regular non-sequitur:
      Andrew: I'd like 12 pork chops, two pounds of sausage, eight quarts of pig's blood, three steaks, um... halibut, and, uh, some toothpaste...
      Butcher: This is a butcher's shop, Neo. We don't sell toothpaste.
  • In Burn Notice when Michael explains to his mother how Fiona is doing in jail. "She's tired, she's scared, and she's not eating enough... and somebody's trying to kill her."
    • The first line in the first episode of Burn Notice "Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting at your dentist's reception area 24 hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you."
  • Community:
    Jeff: Yes, and I'm hoping that our friendship will yield certain advantages: academic guidance, moral support, every answer to every test for every one of the classes I'm taking...
    • Also, "Jesus loves marijuana and drinking human blood".
    • Troy and Jeff are shocked to discover the Zen-master gardener/trampoline keeper is a racist, then recall what should have been signs (we only saw the first two): he calls the garden "a place free from darkness" and tells Troy "and some are just natural jumpers". Finally, he has a big swastika tattoo on his chest! "It's going to be a maze."
    • In "Paradigms of Human Memory", Abed remembers all the times that Jeff and Britta had sex in secret. He saw them sneak into the bathroom together during the Halloween party, hear Jeff proposition Britta during the claymation Christmas Episode, and literally walked in on them in their underwear during the Saint Patrick's Day rafting expedition.
    • In "Curriculum Unavailable", there is a course called "Can I Fry That?". The professor tells the students about things that can be fried such as bananas, toast, bubble gum, pancakes and car keys. BUT NOT FRIES.
  • The Crank Yankers intro. A shopping list on a refrigerator reads: milk—eggs—drugs. Trope Namer. Sorta. This is pretty much the formula for every call they make; start earnestly well-intentioned and then gradually (or abruptly) take the call Off the Rails.
  • Doctor Who:
    • The First Doctor serial "The Romans":
      Vicki: Oh something else I forgot to tell you: I think I've poisoned Nero.
      The Doctor: Really. WHAT?
    • "The Impossible Planet": A food-serving alien under the control of a demonic figure is listing the menu of a space-station canteen when it casually mentions "The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God... apologies. I meant I hope you enjoy your meal."
    • The anti-bodies from "Let's Kill Hitler".
      Anti-body: You may experience a tingling sensation and then death.
    • "Closing Time": Regarding Craig's infant son:
      The Doctor: Yes, he likes that... Alfie. Though personally, he likes to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All. [cue ominous musical sting, then the soundtrack continues normally]
  • Becky Sharpe, a.k.a. Hazard of the "Luck Be a Lady" episode The Flash (2014) had a really unlucky life. In the span of a single flashback, in no particular order (which implies that it all happened in the course of a single day): the drink she orders from Jitters is not soy but milk (she has severe lactose intolerance), walks into her apartment to find her boyfriend cheating on her, causes a customer who tried to flirt with her to spill his drink which loses her job at the casino, and has her car repossessed. The bad luck seems to have stopped (Becky even lampshades it, although it becomes Tempting Fate in the long run instead) when moving out of her apartment because of her now-ex, she manages to hitch a ride on a bus, except the bus is in the path of the Flash as he busts out of the Speed Force. The passengers of the bus (Becky included) are bathed in antimatter because of their close proximity to the opened Speed Force portal, transforming them into metahumans.
  • Daphne Moon in Frasier has a tendency to recall traumatic or unsettling details about her childhood and family life in a cheery, persistently upbeat tone at the climax of long, rambling stories. One excellent example—she decides to impart a lesson about generosity to the brothers Crane by telling them about an encounter with a poor old man on the street. Long story short, she helpfully tells him, "that's not how you spell 'fellatio'."
  • Friends:
    • Phoebe Buffay's back story speech in the first episode of .
      Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
    • Phoebe uses this one fairly often.
      Phoebe: I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, new adult book store, a new grocery store...
      Monica: What?!
      Phoebe: [slowly] A new g-r-o-c-e-r-y store.
  • In Fringe, Walter's lists of required materials for his various experiments are either this trope, Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, or some other comic mixture of the variously esoteric and the incongruously mundane.
    • The opening credits for each episode flash the names of speculative "fringe technologies" (like "psychokinesis, teleportation, nanotechnology"). In one episode set a generation in the future, the fringe technologies include "dual maternity, chaos structure, clonal transplantation, water, biosuspension, hope".
  • The trope appears in a sketch in Full Frontal in which a priest is totally unfazed by something you'd think would count as squick to him. The mild-mannered priest is reading the Lotto numbers and making a Bible reference appropriate for each. "The first number is 10. There were 10 Commandments. 10. The second number is 3. There were 3 wise men. 3. The third number is 12. There were 12 Apostles. 12. The fourth number is 69. Two people having oral sex. 69."
  • In season 7 of Game of Thrones, Jon Snow meets Daenerys for the first time. Their negotiations begin to break down because she does not believe in the White Walkers. Cue Davos Seaworth hyping Jon up.
    "All those things you don't believe in? He faced those things. He fought those things for the good of his people. He risked his life for his people. He took a knife in the heart for his people. He gave up (his life)..."
  • In Gilmore Girls, the episode about Spring Break had the following exchange between Rory (the daughter) and Lorelai (the mom):
    Rory: It was interesting, you know. We sat on the beach, went to a club, watched the Power of Myths, Paris and I kissed...
    Lorelai: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. You watched the Power of Myths? I hid that from you.
  • Glee:
    Finn: Kids are busier than when you went here. We've got homework, football, teen pregnancy, lunch...
  • Gotham: Jerome Valeska, one of the Batman prequel show's main takes on the Joker, at one point says that his twin brother was their mother's favorite because he cleaned his room, did his homework, and didn't try to kill everyone.
  • The Great British Bake Off: The showstopper in the biscuits episode of series 7 requires the contestants to make a gingerbread scene that contains at least eight different things. Louise decides to depict her wedding, so she explains that her scene will have a church, a gingerbread groom, bride, and vicar, and some gravestones.
  • Hang Time:
    • In "Not a D'Amata", Vince, Michael, Teddy and Danny discuss taking Vince's little brother Nicky out camping to get him in touch with his "inner D'Amata" when he comes back more cultured. Michael talks about to doing guy stuff: "we'll build a fire! get dirty! eat bugs!" He loses the other guys with that last one, then suggests they'll bring pizzas instead.
    • A variant in "Goodnight Vince", when Julie, Teddy, Danny and Michael talk about the prospect of traveling to the state championships in Bloomington:
      Michael: It'll be so cool. Living in the college dorms.
      Julie, Teddy, Danny and Michael: Yeah!
      Teddy: Chilling with the college ladies.
      Teddy, Danny and Michael: Oh, yeah!
      Julie: Checking out those cute college guys.
      Teddy, Danny and Michael: Yeah! (beat) No! No-no-no-no!
  • In an episode of Happy Endings, a man whose birthday is on Christmas (just like Jane) is rallying others like him in a bar as to all they feel they are owed for.
    "All the late Birthday cards." *cheer* "The combo-gifts." *cheer* "The impotence!" *crickets*
    • In season one's "Bo Fight":
    Penny: In the last week you have dragged me to a karate pilates class, made me test-drive a Yaris, and talked me into seeing a children's production of Hair, which thankfully, got shut down before the second act.
    • In "Your Couples Friends & Neighbors":
      Jane: Your voice always gets so high when you don't wanna do something.
      Brad: What?
      Jane: (high voice) "I love tofu spareribs." "Sure, I'll go to wine country with your parents." "I'll totally take care of you after you finish with me."
    • In "Secrets and Limos", while Penny is making a "vision board" she reveals that she wants:
      Penny: A romantic old-fashioned gentleman. The kind of guy who'll buy you flowers and dinner and look at you during sex.
    • In "The Butterfly Effect Effect", aka "Spring Smackdown":
      Penny: Oh, you know, standard, just cleaning up from a slumber party. Some light dusting, dishes, chipping my unmentionables out of the freezer.
  • How I Met Your Mother:
    • Ted recounts his attempt to get his upstairs neighbors to stop "playing the bagpipes," and then losing his nerve when he finds out they're an old couple: "I didn't have the heart to tell them to stop, so I talked with them for a while, had a hard candy, nodded politely at some racist comments, and then I left." A bit of an inversion since Ted, not the neighbors, is the one uncomfortable with the squick part.
    • In the episode "Chain of Screaming", each character is giving Marshall advice on how to deal with his boss, who screams at him when angry. Lilly's advice starts off as a kind, kindergarten teacher approach to things, then ends with Marshall (actually Lilly pretending to be Marshall in a fantasy scene) and his boss talking about nailing his wife.
    • In the episode "Homewreckers" where Ted buys a house that needs a lot of fixing, his contractor mentions the expected: Mold, vermin, and water damage, before mentioning a hobo.
  • In How to Get Away with Murder, Wes opens up to Rebecca using this.
    Wes: I'm allergic to peanuts, I have a really bad sense of direction, my mom killed herself when I was twelve...
  • In How to Irritate People, John Cleese criticizes the Pepperpots for their lack of subtlety. "It's like, for example, going to a football game and cheering for a team that isn't playing, or wearing fancy dress at a funeral, or setting fire to Julie Andrews. It's irritating, but it's obvious."
  • Jessie: Happens towards the end of the episode where Mrs. Kipling imagines everyone switching bodies. Ironically, Luke was actually right about the last thing.
    Luke: I bet all Mrs. Kipling thinks about is Godzilla movies, eating cockroaches, imagining what would happen if we all switched bodies.
    Ravi: Luke, do not be ridiculous. Mrs. Kipling HATES cockroaches.
  • Mastery of the form is frequently demonstrated by The Kids in the Hall.
    • "To good friends!" "To good times!" "And to ritualistic murder..." all:"TO REG!"
    • "Whole lotta milk-a. Bell Biv DeVoe. Your mother's cheatin' on me."
    • There's also a sketch in which an actress accepting an award actually does thank Hitler.
  • One Law & Order: Special Victims Unit episode had John Munch give a strange set of statements, "Yeah, and I want the troops home, the Kyoto Protocol signed, and a Tijuana oil job from Miss February." to a high school girl. He might have been playing up some I Take Offense to That Last One to the "old" part of being called a Dirty Old Man.
  • Leverage:
    • Parker's less than stellar attempt at calming down a passenger when she's pretending to be a flight attendant in "The Mile High Job".
      Parker: When you think of it, there are many ways to die besides on a plane. Car crash, electrocution, drowning, auto-erotic asphyxiation.
    • Hardison running through all of the political candidates they can't work with in "The San Lorenzo Job".
      Hardison: Drug dealer, drug dealer, drug addict, embezzler, embezzler-drug-dealer-AND-drug-addict, and my personal favorite...
      [Hardison puts a video of flames on screen that somehow turns into porn]
      Sophie: EW! Ew—what is that??
      Hardison: There's no secrets on the Internet. When will people learn this?
  • A Little Britain sketch has a tour guide of a rural area enliven his stories of the place by pointing out where he and his wife had their first kiss and go on to tell where they first had oral and anal sex as well.
  • In the first part of "Last Whiff of Summer", the two-part fourth-season premiere of The Middle, the Hecks go to a drive-in where the triple feature is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Fiddler on the Roof, and Serpico.
  • Bob Fossil's frequent examples of this in The Mighty Boosh. One of the best: The Hitcher's massive thumb's backstory, related while driving through the dark and ominous Forest of Death. His long and cheery reminiscence culminates with him smashing in the head of the shaman that helped him, just to get out of the bill.
    • To be fair, it was 5 Euros. And you won't see penny one from me, boy!
  • Zoe Lyons on the "Scenes We'd Like to See" segment of Mock the Week, in the category "Unlikely Small Ads": "Respectable middle-aged lady would like to meet gentleman for cozy nights in, country walks, theater visits, and occasional eye-popping anal."
  • In Modern Family episode 4, after a speech by Haley's boyfriend revealing his Hidden Depths, her family encourages him to play one of the songs he's written. The innocently titled "In the Moonlight", which he says he wrote for Haley, draws them in with an innocuous first verse before becoming blatant Intercourse with You.
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus:
    • The "Lumberjack Song" devolves from a celebration of outdoorsy pursuits to cross-dressing, to the dismay of the chorus.
    • Mr. Figgis's list of immortal composers:
      "Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin, Liszt, Brahms, Panties... I'm sorry... Schumann, Schubert, Mendelssohn, and Bach."
    • One sketch had a "Summarize Proust" show contestant list his hobbies as "Strangling small animals, golf and masturbating."
      • The BBC cut out the word “masturbating” and crudely edited the line to say “golf and strangling animals”. Apparently, masturbation is far worse than strangling animals.
  • In one scene from The Muppet Show, Statler asks Waldorf what he takes in his tea. He answers "Milk, two sugars, one mouse".
  • In Muppets Tonight, while Clifford watches a sketch; "Look at those lobsters out there. Aren't they cute? With their little lobster outfits, their little lobster guitars, and their little lobster semiautomatic weapons."
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000
    • From the closing host segment of "Pod People":
      Joel: Y'know, guys, it always hurts to close it all up, strike the set, wipe off the greasepaint, napkin up the blood and entrails, and move on to another town.
    • This riff from "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", when the kids start assaulting Volmar with toys.
      Tom Servo: Hilarity, guys. Not since the pie fight scene in The Great Race!
      Crow: Not since the mudslide scene in McLintock!!
      Joel: Not since the wagon race scene in The Hallelujah Trail!
      Crow: Not since the chess-playing scene in The Seventh Seal!
      Tom: Not since the orgy scene in Calig...u...la.
  • Night Court, in the Season 3 episode "Walk Away, Renee", Mac is out in the hall talking to a supplier:
    Mac: We're gonna need a gross of pencils, three dozen typewriter ribbons...
    [From offscreen, Dan is heard screaming and crashing into something, courtesy of ticking off Bull in the scene prior]
    Mac: ...six pints of whole blood...
  • In The Office (US), Dwight says that his family believes in a five-finger intervention which at first seems to be a euphemism for getting punched. The steps are composed of awareness, education, control, acceptance and punching.
  • Once Upon a Time, Rumpelstiltskin uses this with Belle.
    Rumpelstiltskin: You will serve me my meals and you will clean the Dark Castle... You will dust my collection and launder my clothing... You will fetch me fresh straw when I'm spinning at the wheel... OH! And you will skin the children I hunt. For their pelts.
    [Belle drops a tea cup]
    Rumpelstiltskin: ... That one was a quip. Not serious! [giggles]
  • Porridge: According to Fletcher, the prison football team boasts a mixture of "youth, experience, flair and brutality."
  • The Psych episode "An Evening With Mr. Yang" does this with the pictures in the Psych office. Picture of Gus, picture of Shawn, picture of Gus and Shawn, TERRIFIED GAGGED VICTIM.
  • The "Timeslides" episode of Red Dwarf has this lovely excerpt from the diary of one Adolf Hitler:
    Kryten: I'll switch to translation mode... Stop milk, pay papers, invade Czechoslovakia!
  • Rome
    • Season 1 has a scene where Julius Caesar, Mark Antony and Posca are reading Pompey's peace terms.
      Antony: The Senate will ratify your status. You get your Triumph. Stand for Consul. Pompey shall withdraw to Spain. He'll suck Posca's cock if asked nicely.
    • In the season 2 premiere, Mark Antony offers a truce to the conspirators who murdered Caesar. They will not condemn each other and appear as friends in public. Antony will serve out his term as Consul and then retire back to his estates where he can plough his fields and fuck his slaves. Like Cincinattus.
  • Saturday Night Live:
    • One series features four men in a bar (or, on occasion, a car) who tell gradually more disturbing tales (all of them treating the stories as perfectly normal events) about where they were when they heard a popular song (such as "Danny's Song," "Garden Party," "To Be With You," and "Breakfast At Tiffany's"), culminating in them committing some unsettling atrocity in whatever setting they occupy.
    • The Bill Brasky sketches utilize this as well, with a group of drunkards telling outlandish stories about Bill, while each of them takes turns interjecting with something uncomfortable and completely unrelated, like "I'm wearing a diaper!" or "My uncle Hal molested me!"
    • Another sketch featured a company asking their employees what they could do to make more money. The employees who answer their questions get increasingly goofier, like a mounted tiger head and a gigantic turkey sub.
    • The theme song of The Ambiguously Gay Duo. "They are taking on evil come what may, they are fighting all crimes to save the day, they're extremely close in an ambiguous way."
    • The "Under Underground Records" commercial sketch series features DJ Supersoak and Lil Blaster hyping up a music festival thrown by their label. The special guests from just the first one include Mark Fuhrman (from the OJ Simpson trial), actor Justin Long, The Snapple Lady, Turtle from Entourage, Ms. Screw Magazine 1997 and NBA legend Dirk Nowitzki.
  • In Scarecrow and Mrs. King, a brainwashed Lee begins making daily to-do lists. One of these lists contains, amongst mundane items, the entry "Shoot Billy".
  • Screenwipe on the relentlessly horrible nature of the news:
    Charlie Brooker: Which isn't to say the world itself is horrible. It's still full of sunshine and flowers and cuddly creatures you'd like to have sex with, like this rabbit. Cor, look at this rabbit...
  • Scrubs:
    • JD's "And Knowing Is Half the Battle" daydream:
      JD: You've had a tough day at the office, so you come home, make yourself some dinner, smother your kids, pop in a movie, maybe have a drink. It's fun, right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.'
    • Elliot is pretty prone to this. "Maybe we can do something a little less girly, like bowling or paint ball or Fight Club..."
    • Many of her stories of friends and relatives seem normal enough, but then end with the subject abruptly hanging themselves. Her friends have come to expect this.
    • "Possible side effects of kittens may include sneezing, tiny scratches, and erectile dysfunction."
    • The Janitor describing his trip to China and doing the "normal" touristic things: "Visited the Great Wall, ate the food, and had a baby with a local."
    • The Todd giving his reference to Dr. Cox:
      "Dr. Turk should be chief because he's skilled technically, super efficient, he's got an awesome dong, he's great with laparoscopic procedures, patients love him..."
      "What was that middle one?"
      "Laparoscopic?"
    • Elliot advocating for her patient to get a donor heart valve
      Dr. Molly Clock: He a good candidate for surgery?
      Elliot: Definitely. Thirty-five, married, good job, cute little boy, great dog; can't remember
      what kind they said, long time recovering heroin addict, bulldog. That's what it was.
  • In Seinfeld's "The Yada Yada", Jerry's love interest Beth (Debra Messing) appears to agree with him on the superfluity of dentists... only to add that dentists were worse than "the blacks and the Jews". Afterwards, when Elaine asks Jerry where Beth is, he answers "she went to get her head shaven".
    • In "The Andrea Doria," George plays Misery Poker for an apartment he had planned to move into against a survivor of the Andrea Doria shipwreck, who was prioritized because the owners felt sorry for him. He reels off a litany of his absurd humiliations from past episodes (getting Chained to a Bed, successfully charming an attractive woman who turned out to be a Nazi, "shrinkage"), concludes his speech and begins to leave an already tearful panel before turning back and adding, "Oh! Also. My fiancée died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out."
    • A classic from "The Dealership" when a car dealership employee retrieves and eats a Twix bar that had been stuck in the vending machine after George paid for it:
      George: All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired.
  • In Smallville, Oliver once described Davis as "tall, dark, and doomsday".
  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Little Green Men": baseball, root beer, darts, atom bombs.
  • The Suite Life on Deck: "I'm tired of you always putting me down, being rude to me, and putting live poisonous animals under my pillow while I sleep."
  • Supernatural: In "ScoobyNatural", when one of the guests ends up dead, each of the Mystery Inc. gang reacts with their catchphrase... and then Dean chimes in with something a little less family-friendly.
    Velma: Jinkies!
    Daphne: Jeepers!
    Shaggy: Zoinks!
    Scooby: Ruh-roh!
    Dean: ...Son of a bitch!
  • Taxi:
    Jim: Now come on, Heather, what's in the brownies?
    Heather: Sugar, eggs, chocolate, marijuana, flour, and walnuts.
    Gordon: [outraged] You've been feeding us WALNUTS?!
  • On the season one episode of Titus called "Mom's Not Nuts," Titus names off the three things that will get you out of a mental hospital: "good behavior, a clean psychiatric record, and an axe." (The third of which is what Titus's mom used).
    • Titus used this trope a lot, especially when his mother (a bipolar schizophrenic) is referenced. A season one episode has the cast eating a meal prepared by his mother. He lists his favorite dishes prepared by his mother:
      Christopher: [obviously under the influence of drugs] Nobody makes turkey dinner like my mom. Those little pilgrim cookies with the little chocolate suits, homemade candy, candied yams, yam covered ham, cranberry jam in the shape of a can... (takes a bite of food and then spits something into his palm)... spit a pill into my hand.
  • That '70s Show: The episode "Eric's Hot Cousin" has an example that's somewhere between this trope downplayed and Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking. In the beginning, Eric's reminiscing over how his titular cousin Penny was a tattletale when they were little kids. "Eric's stealing cookies, Eric's playing with fire, Eric's touching himself."
  • When explaining the risks with meeting yourself while time travelling in The Umbrella Academy, Five lists off the seven stages of paradox psychosis. In order, the stages are denial, itching, extreme thirst and urination, excessive gas, acute paranoia, uncontrolled perspiration, and homicidal rage.
    • In the same episode, Diego watches an orientation movie at the Comission for new recruits, the mascot character, Mr. Briefcase, explains all the wonderful job options the company provides. He tells the recruits that opportunities are open to them no matter their skill, education or comfort level with moral ambiguity.
  • In The Vicar of Dibley, Owen asks Geraldine what kind of things he'll teach his goddaughter as she grows up (riding a bike, going on nature walks and teaching her about the flowers, hunting down moles and stoving in their heads).
  • In one episode of World's Dumbest..., Chelsea Perretti reveals her New Year's resolutions: "Don't date idiots," "Make new friends," "Recycle more," and "Stop killing hobos."
  • Yellowjackets: Shauna kills the man she's been having an affair with She calls her former teammates to help her cover her tracks. The next day at their 25th high school reunion, Shauna hesitate before going in:
    Shauna: How is it possible that is the most scared I've been all day?
    Taissa: [laughs] Right? "Oh, my God! Oh, hey, girl. Hey! It's been forever. What have you been up to? Tell me."
    Shauna: Um, yeah. You know, gardening, PTA, dismembering my lover's corpse.

    Music 
  • "Nothing But Sunshine" by Atmosphere starts out discussing the narrator's troubled childhood and how he has developed into a well-adjusted adult nonetheless, until he mentions that he enjoys recreationally murdering cows with his bare hands. The song then becomes a brief skit in which we hear him do just that.
  • The Axis of Awesome has a song called "How To Numbers 1-3", which tells you how to bake a scone, how to catch a duck, and how to kill a hooker.
  • Jonathan Coulton:
    • "The Future Soon" starts as a slice-of-life love story where the nerdy narrator fails to attract the girl he loves. It ends with him fantasizing about returning home as a cyborg Mad Scientist and turning her into his robot bride.
  • "Re: Your Brains" starts with this simple conversation:
Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall.
Good to see you, buddy. How've you been?
Things have been okay for me, except that I'm a zombie now
I really wish you'd let us in.
  • The tone of The Decemberists' "July, July!" abruptly changes in the first verse:
    "There is a road that meets the road that goes to my house
    And how the green grows there
    And we've got special boots to beat the path to my house
    And it's careful and it's careful when I'm there
    And I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian
    And he was gut-shot running gin
    And how his guts were all suspended in his fingers
    And how he held 'em, how he held 'em, held 'em in"
    • Also "The Chimbley Sweep", which starts as a tragic song about the hard life of, well, a chimney sweep, and suddenly veers into paedophile-esque Bawdy Song territory in the final verse:
      "O lonely urchin," the widow cried
      "I've not been swept since the day my husband died!"
      Her cheeks a-blushin', her legs laid bare,
      And shipwrecked there I'll shake you from your sleep
    • And "Yankee Bayonet":
      "Heart-carved tree-trunk, Yankee bayonet, a sweetheart left behind"
      "Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas, that's where my true love lies"
      "Look for me when the sun-bright swallow sings upon the birch-bough high"
      "But you are in the ground with the wolves and the weevils all a-chew on your bones so dry"
    • "Los Angeles, I'm Yours" starts out being about how wonderful Los Angeles is, and then starts talking about "the smell of burnt cocaine, the dolour and decay". Also, in the second verse:
    "You ladies pleasant and demure
    Sallow-cheeked and sure
    I can see your undies"
    • The Decemberists are the kings of squick in their songs in GENERAL. May I direct you to The Rake's Song.
    "Charlotte I buried after feeding her foxglove
    Dawn was easy, she was drowned in the bath
    Isaiah fought but was easily bested
    Burned his body for incurring my wrath"
    • In the last verse of the same song, the narrator insisted that killing his three children doesn't really bother him at all.
  • "Weinerschnitzel", by Descendents, consists of a 13-second fast food order. The order seems normal enough, until the counter guy asks if the purchaser wants sperm with that.
  • 2D, the slightly dim singer/keyboardist of Gorillaz, once introduced himself in a radio interview with "Hi, my name is 2D, and I'm the singer, and I need the toilet..." Murdoc calmly announcing during an interview that "I hit puberty at eight and lost my virginity to a dinner lady at nine and I've been in a bad mood ever since" possibly also falls under this heading, whether or not he was telling the truth.
  • The song "Diane" by Hüsker Dü surely qualifies. The first verse:
    Hey little girl, wanna go for a ride?
    There's room and my wagon is parked right outside
    We can cruise down Robert Street all night long
    But I think I'll just rape you and kill you instead
  • Jethro Tull: Before a live performance of "A Christmas Song", Ian Anderson does one of these:
    "[Christmas] is not a time for heavy drinking, over-eating, and casual sex with farm animals, that's out of the question!"
  • Tom Lehrer enjoys this:
    • "My Home Town" begins with idyllic reminiscences of his home town and quickly slides into recalling "the man who took a knife/and monogrammed his wife".
    • "Be Prepared" exhorts Boy Scouts to be prepared for all situations...such as smoking dope and pimping out their own sisters.
    • "I Hold Your Hand in Mine" sounds romantic, up to the lyrics "My joy would be complete, dear/If only you were here/But still I keep your hand/As a precious souvenir." And: "I hold your hand in mine, dear/I press it to my lips/I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips".
    • His song "The Old Dope Peddler" sings admirably of the cornerstone of any neighborhood, the Heroin Dealer.
    • "I Wanna Go Back To Dixie" does this as well. It's mostly an almost sweet, happy song about wanting to go back home...but it's after he includes the line "Ol' times there are not forgotten/Whuppin' slaves and selling cotton" that it gets dark.
    • "Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" starts off like a lovely ode to springtime and young love, but when he suddenly starts the chorus, the song takes a major left turn into this trope, along with some Soundtrack Dissonance because of the song still being sung the same way, despite the lyrics.
  • The Lemon Demon song "Ode to Crayola" begins as a cute tribute song to goofily-named Crayola crayons. Then it turns weird:
    I'm gonna rise at dawn, with no clothes on, and color on my skin
    Colors of life and love, from Heaven above, absolve me of my sin
  • Lil Dicky's Professional Rapper ends with Snoop Dogg's receptionist offering him "coffee, tea, head, bottled water?" (After asking what kinds of tea she has, he changes his mind and goes with head.)
  • The Lonely Island:
    • "Like a Boss" is a list of events in the eponymous boss's average day at work. The events start out mundane ("talk to corporate, approve memos...") but grow increasingly disturbing and improbable as the song goes on, eventually ending with him turning into a jet, bombing the Russians, and flying into the sun. The person reviewing the boss correctly points out that he "chops [his] balls and die[s]" every day.
    • "After Party" is sort of a Spiritual Successor to the above, where the narrator describes being caught in a cycle of living a lifestyle of debauchery, giving it up, then falling back into his old habits again - habits that start out with mundane things like drinking and partying but eventually involve drinking snake blood and slithering in the dirt or losing his hand in a game of craps. They even lampshade the similarities, since both songs refer to having sex with giant fish in sewers.
  • Lonestar's "No News" does this when listing off possible outcomes for a departed lover:
    She missed her bus, missed her plane
    Surely, this can be explained
    Lost her car at the mall
    Got locked in a bathroom stall
    Joined a cult, joined the Klan...
  • Stephen Lynch's "Best Friend's Song" starts off as friendly telling of the differences among friends, and descends into a confession of wanting to take part in violent sex with the other friend's pubescent sister. His whole career is built on this trope.
  • Tim Minchin's song "If I Didn't Have You" features a claim that love grows with time, "like a flower, or a mushroom, or a guinea pig, or a vine, or a sponge, or bigotry...or a banana."
    • Minchin has an entire song devoted to this trope: "If You Really Loved Me", which follows its title line with "you'd let me video you while you wee" and also includes this pearler:
      We go together like crackers and Brie
      Like racism and ignorance
      Like niggers and RnB
    • Minchin's poem "Angry (Feet)" quickly descends into this as the somewhat shy narrative becomes marked with shouted expletives and Freudian slips, revealing that the narrator is a recovering mental patient with a hair-trigger temper, a much-despised family, and a love of guns and porn. The whole thing concludes with the point of the poem... this:
      And my (QUACK!) Doctor would be proud
      Because I feel a lot less angry
      And I'm saying stuff out loud
      And I'm letting anger out
      Like today in our last session
      When I taught the quack a lesson
      'Cause he said I'm not progressin'
      Said I wasn't moving forward
      So I said "Let's see how you move without your fuckin' legs"
      And I tied him to his chair
      And I pulled out my machete
      And I listened to him beg
      And then I cut his fuckin' feet off
      While he laid there bleeding
      I used his feet to kick him in the head
  • Oingo Boingo had a couple of songs like this
    • In "Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me:"
      Have you heard about the Joneses, my, my, my
      It happened so quick and no one knows why
      Their teenage son, he seemed O.K.
      But his suicide ruined everyone's day.
    • And their song "Whole Day Off:"
      Have you seen my garden?
      It is most peculiar
      Have you seen my garden?
      Nothing there that grows looks anything at all like plants
      I hear their voices—let's take the whole day off.
    • No Spill Blood mentions that if you break the rules, you get ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain. (Well, it is a Shout-Out to The Island of Doctor Moreau...)
  • The first verse of "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam seems to describe a pretty normal kid, right up to the last line:
    "At home
    Drawing pictures
    Of mountain tops
    With him on top
    Lemon yellow sun
    Arms raised in a V
    The dead lay in pools of maroon below"
  • Psychostick's song We Ran Out of CD Space includes this, as well as Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking in the previous verse.
    What if guitars could shoot out sour cream/and nacho cheese/and pure sulfuric acid?
    • Psychostick's song "Grocery Escape Plan" also includes one of these. The singer's grocery list includes, "Chips, peas, corn, cheese...Porn... and Spaghetti-o's".
  • In "Sounds Like War" by P.O.D.:
    Sounds like it's war to me:
    Peace, love and casualties.
  • It's hard to tell what R.E.M. was singing about in "I Remember California", especially at the time, but one song's narrator reminisces thusly:
    I remember redwood trees
    Bumper cars and wolverines.
    The ocean's Trident submarines
  • Rapple Pi's album Money, Women, Poptarts, Goldfish is an example of this.
  • The song "Prayer to God" by Shellac:
    To the one true God above, here is my prayer.
    Not the first you've heard, but the first I wrote
    (Not the first, but the others were a long time ago)
    There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
  • Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sun is Burning", which, for the first three verses is describing a nice day out in suburbia, but then...
    Now the sun as come to earth/Shrouded in a mushroom cloud of death...
  • The theme song of Team America: World Police contains this verse:
    McDonald's! (fuck yeah!)
    Walmart! (fuck yeah!)
    The Gap! (fuck yeah!)
    Baseball! (fuck yeah!)
    The NFL! (fuck yeah!)
    Rock & Roll! (fuck yeah!)
    The Internet! (fuck yeah!)
    Slavery! (fuck yeah!)
  • They Might Be Giants: The bridge section of "They'll Need a Crane"
    Don't call me at work again, I know the boss still hates me
    I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
    And there's a restaurant we should check out
    Where the other nightmare people like to go
    I mean nice people, Baby, wait
    I didn't mean to say "nightmare"
  • Australian band Tripod loves this trope. Examples include:
    • In the Countryside, a touching tale of freedom and finding yourself and stockpiling weaponry.
    • Let's Take a Walk starts with the lines:
    Let's take a walk, my love,
    Down by the river, my baby.
    Down where we used to go,
    Until the day when we found that body.
  • This one's not exactly "squick", but it's still ending a list on a more dramatic note: the line in the traditional "The Unicorn Song" "Rats and cats and elephants, just as sure as you're born." Then again, seeing an elephant (not like that) is still more likely than seeing a unicorn.
  • The Vandals' song "The New You", a story of how a guy's love has changed, does this quite horribly:
    Well now you say that you like me
    but you don't "like" like me.
    And you say that you love me but
    you're not "in love" with me
    And we should just be friends
    ...but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that
    you're not too friendly when you act like that.
    Should I smash your fucking head with a baseball bat?
    And dig around the brains and goo
    for something that looks like old you?
  • In Voltaire's When You're Evil, the Card Carrying Villain Protagonist starts with a bunch of Poke the Poodle grade minor "evils", like being a fly in someone's soup or a pebble in their shoe, then out of nowhere talks about tripping elderly people down staircases.
  • Logan Whitehurst's song "The Ice Cream Man" starts off innocently enough, with Logan walking down Main Street and looking for some ice cream. It just so happens that the eponymous ice cream man is there. Then this happens:
    Then I hear the voices in my head
    Whispering to me, "Kill, kill, kill the ice cream man"...
  • "Weird Al" Yankovic
    • "Hardware Store" includes a long list of items that can be found at the eponymous establishment — including, apparently, "automatic circumcisers."
    • "Good Old Days". Presented as the sentimental nostalgic ramblings of the singer about his Norman Rockwell-style childhood, every verse ends with psychopathic assault against some innocent.
    • "Why Does This Always Happen To Me?", when Al talks about disturbing things happening around him without those things being the concern of the verse.
    • "I Remember Larry" recounts several pranks made upon the singer and the people of his town, which start out innocuous enough (okay, so the Ben-Gay in the jock-strap is kind of mean), and descends into somewhat less harmless ideas ("You know I couldn't help but laugh/Even though he treated me like slime/Remember when he cut my car in half?/Well, he really got me good that time!") and ends with the singer reminiscing cheerfully about how he broke into Larry's house, bound and gagged him, dragged him into the woods, stuffed him in a plastic bag, and left him for dead. Funny song, mostly.
    • Al's parody of "Complicated," which ends with the singer describing all of the problems that came after he decapitated himself on a roller coaster. (It was "quite a drag.")
    • From "Albuquerque"'s plane flight part:
      I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor,
      And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time,
      The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts,
      And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore!
      And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
      And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
      And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died... except for me!
    • "Do I Creep You Out?" Which opens up as a sweet love song and keeps to the sweet tune while the singer confesses all the creepy, stalkerish things he has done to the subject of his affections (Taking her gum out of the garbage, following her home from work).
    • And of course "One More Minute", a nice swinging doo-wop number..."So I pulled your name out of my rolodex/and tore all of our pictures in two/and I burned down the malt-shop where we used to go/just because it reminds me of youuuuu"
    • During the bridge of "Livin' in the Fridge", the singer suggests carbon-dating the mysterious fridge-dweller, then offers fumigation as an alternative and finally wonders if he should just burn it and scatter the ashes at sea.
    • "One of Those Days" is a constant back-and-forth between mundane inconveniences and increasingly serious problems. And increasingly frequent, to the point where the song evolves from this trope into Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking by the end.
    • Tacky is all about doing tacky things like threatening to leave a bad Yelp review at a restaurant or printing your resume in Comic Sans, then switches to "if I'm bit by a zombie, probably not telling you."
    • Following a bunch of goofy, remarkably specific horoscopes ("Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence!") in "Your Horoscope For Today", the horoscope for Sagittarius unexpectedly has:
    All your friends are laughing behind your back.
    Kill them.
  • YouTube lists the gender and age of the 3 biggest audiences for each video under video statistics. Pretty much every music video by any female teen star will list the following 1: Female (13-17), 2: Female (18-25), 3: Male (35-44).
    • Maybe more Fridge Horror, if you consider that the guys in category 3 are about the age that their daughters (and their friends) will belong in category 1.

    Magazines 
  • In one of the Doctor Who Magazine "Space-Time Telegraph" spoof news columns, it was reported that World Distributors would be releasing a Torchwood Annual (a parody of World's Doctor Who annuals of the seventies; aimed at very young kids, and apparently written by people who'd once had the series described to them). Amongst the features listed were "Where's Owen?"; "Gwen's Spacey Space Quiz"; and "Jack and Ianto's Stopwatch Game".
  • In the March 2001 issue of Game Informer (#95), Andrew Reiner wrote in the Second Opinion review of the Dreamcast version of ECW Anarchy Rulz: "Note to Self: Eat dinner, call my parents, then assassinate the development team responsible for this wrestling disaster."

    Myths & Religion 
  • The 11 rules of the Earth in the Church of LaVey:
    1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
    2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
    3. When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go in there.
    4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
    5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
    6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
    7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic if you have called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
    8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
    9. Do not harm little children.
    10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
    11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

    Newspapers 
  • In the Daily Mirror's November 13, 2018 article entitled "Red Dead Redemption 2 players are frantically searching for a tuberculosis cure", it is stated that, "despite the game enabling you to hunt bison, fish for trout or throw hogtied members of the Ku Klux Klan into an alligator-infested swamp, there is no cure for Arthur."

    Podcasts 
  • Behind the Bastards: Robert describes the ice fortress constructed during the 2013 protests in Kyiv's Independence Square.
    Robert: This fortress had the resources of a small city, including communal kitchens, restrooms, media areas, a library, medical tents, and catapults.
  • The Rooster Teeth Drunk Tank Podcast has an episode with this trope almost exactly: "It's like: bread, milk, beer, diseases."
  • Welcome to Night Vale in general uses this trope a lot. In the live episode "The Debate", the Faceless Old Woman has this to say about selling off unused items from homes to raise money for community schools:
    Faceless Old Woman: Cecil! You have a set of collectible jadeite bowls you never use. I would be happy to sell them on eBay for you. Hiram, you live in a cave that I do not like, but you have a collection of rare jewels and coins and a mahogany chest that you keep locked and buried. Let's put those up for sale! Marcus, you have a coffee table made of human bones.

    Pro Wrestling 

    Radio 
  • Lo Zoo Di 105: Often used among the jokes, but one instance stands out - namely, when cast member Herbert Ballerina came back from a trip to Thailand, another cast member, Petosauro, made a brief speech about Thailand only to be promptly interrupted by Gibba.
    Peto: Ah, Thailand. Glorious nation, home to sun, shores and...
    [cue Letting the Air out of the Band]
    Gibba: AND WHORES!
  • Andy Hamilton presented an extract from the minutes of a parish council meeting on the 7th November 2008 edition of The News Quiz, which can be seen in full here. The section as quoted on the show is as follows:
    1. Another parishioner wished to know if the problems with the telephone directories have been solved yet. 2. Mr Neale said a parishioner had drawn his attention to overhanging foliage on the pavement on Main Street between Wellow Road junction and the Old School. Clerk to contact Highways Dept. 3. The missile launcher parked on Kirklington Road has caused comments from a number of parishioners. Clerk to contact Highways Dept.

    Roleplay 
  • You Have Become Your Avatar: When looking through the Lotus Casino's table to find the teleport-spamming Brahian, Paul initially lists off "Roulette, Blackjack, Cockfighting..."

    Tabletop Games 
  • In Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine, the Ogre Sensei is passionate about literature, poetry, maths, and the right of her tribe to continue eating people.
  • The "Lords of Madness" sourcebook for Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 has a list of a beholder's favourite foods, including small mammals, interesting fungi, birds, and gnomes. They are monsters, after all!
  • Magic: The Gathering: The flavor text of Enormous Baloth; with the squick outnumbering the bread, eggs and milk.
    Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.
    In case of fire, treachery, citywide riot, political upheaval, or worldwide societal collapse, break glass.
    Gorgons crave beautiful things: gems, exquisite amulets, the alabaster corpses of the petrified dead...

    Theatre 
  • Creation Theatre's production of Aladdin included the Sorceror listing off the thousands of topics books he read had covered. These included theology, astrology, geology, herbology, archeology, misogynynote , paleontology, wait what was that?
  • This exchange from Anne of Green Gables: The Musical:
    Tillie, Tommy and Gertie: We found a gorgeous seashell.
    Ruby and Moody: We found some lic'rice root.
    Charlie: I found the hired girl swimming in her birthday suit.
  • Frequently found in Cabaret. For example "If You Could See Her", what starts out as a novelty act about a man dating an ape, and defending his sweetheart. And it ends, "If you could see her through my eyes... / She wouldn't look Jewish at all!"
  • From Hair: "Sodomy... fellatio... cunnilingus... pederasty..." The song is intended to be more "squick, squick, squick and squick"; the next line ends "why do these words sound so nasty".
  • Jesus Christ Superstar has one in "The Arrest":
    Crowds: Come with us to see Caiaphas!
    You'll just love the high priest's house!
    You'll just love seeing Caiaphas!
    You'll just die in the high priest's house!
    • Also, arguably, the way the last line of the chorus changes during Hosanna:
    Hey JC, JC, won't you smile at me?
    ...
    Hey JC, JC, you're all right by me.
    ...
    Hey JC, JC, won't you fight for me?
    ...
    Hey JC, JC, won't you die for me?
  • In Oliver! the song "I'd Do Anything" starts out with cute lines about the things the boys would do, like "Would you climb a hill? (Anything!)/ Wear a daffodil? (Anything!)" etc. Then in the third verse:
    "Would you rob a shop?"
    "Would you risk the drop?"
    "Though your eyes go pop"
    "When you come down, plop!"
  • "By the Sea" from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a cheerful song where Mrs. Lovett describes, well, living by the sea to a rather uninterested Sweeney. Even if you manage to forget that she intends to finance all of this by baking people into pies, the Squick is invited right back to the party near the end when she says "And every now and then, you can do the guest in."
  • Not as squicky to the original audience, but in Twelfth Night Sir Andrew says: "I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts!", making this Older Than Steam.
  • In Young Frankenstein, Frederick is going through the library and is surprised to find his grandfather doesn't have his medical books there, but instead things like "Black Beauty, Heidi, and the Kama Sutra."

    Toys 
  • From one of the BIONICLE serials:
    Vezon: Quite a collection. I prefer sea-shells, myself. Sometimes leaves. Oh, and the heads of my enemies, though those take up so much space.
  • A receipt from Toys R Us.
    Save all receipts. Staten Island, NY. Watch out for pedofiles (sic). A dated receipt is required for all returns and exchanges.

    Visual Novels 
  • During the second case of Ace Attorney Investigations while examining some crates in the plane's cargo hold:
    Gumshoe: This one says "FLAMMABLE", and this one... it says "PHARMACEUTICALS"...
    Edgeworth: ...This one says "FOR EXORCISM USE ONLY"...
    Edgeworth: (Just what kind of operation is this airline running!?)
  • In the later chapters of Daughter for Dessert, Mortelli is having a conversation with the protagonist when he suddenly says something along the lines of, “I’m gonna miss this place.”
  • "Blah blah Command Seal Blah blah Caster blah blah magic blah blah and then I took all his clothes off." Thanks Shirou for your lovely demonstration of how to subtly check for Command Seals without raising suspicions. Tohsaka just stops and stares at him.
    • A bit of a meta example, but go to the Visual Novel Database and read the character entry for Fate/stay night with spoilers off.
    Sakura Matou: Engages in: Cleaning, Cooking, Fighting, Manslaughter.
    Shirou Emiya: Engages in: Archery, Cleaning, Cooking, Fighting, Planning, Sexual Fantasy, Swordsmanship
  • Played for laughs at one point in Kara no Shoujo. The notebook used for the game is an actual notebook kept by Reiji with a fairly professional attitude and style to it. However, under Yaginuma's character info there's a quiet little 'Still an asshole' there.
  • As part of Riko's introduction in A Profile, we see a conversation between her and her stepson devolve from a bit of straightforward relationship advice regarding him and his stepsister to her suggestion that he be careful not to get her pregnant. Do note that there's nothing like that between them. Well, yet.

    Web Animation 
  • In Dingo Doodles after Sips recovers from his near-death trance, he retreats to a nearby room. The DM proceeds to describe in detail what each of his senses them him as he stands there: How beautiful everything is, the wonderful sound of birds in the distance, the smell of exquisite perfume, the wonderful carpet beneath his feet... and the taste of blood from having eaten Bouclaire's heart while in his trance.
  • The last lines of the theme song to Father Tucker follow this pattern.
    A faith in God
    A friendly smile
    He'll warm your heart
    And rape your child!
  • In the FilmCow short Ferrets, to cheer up his friend, a ferret sings a happy List Song about all the things that make him happy. It includes apple pie, breezy meadows, the sound of rain, guitars, Holocaust denial, eugenics, sexual molestation, and murder.
  • In The Gentleman Pirate the inexperienced Stede Bonnet asks the quartermaster what the pirates do in their spare time when told the voyage would take weeks.
    Quartermaster: Oh, there's plenty to do. Sing shanties, tie knots, get scurvy...
  • Homestar Runner:
    • In the Strong Bad Email "for kids", after demonstrating how being a kids' show host would lead to him breaking down and flipping out, Strong Bad says "So, you can see how that might be less than pleasant. What with all the letter writing and the angry mothers and the subsequent stringing me up in town square for all to see."
    • In "candy product", the ingredients of SBLOUNSKCHED! include marshmallow, licorice, nougat, and "rich, creamy... pepperoni".
    • Homestar, back during an "early" hremail, remarked that Melonade was not only his favorite drink, but he was contractually unable to drink, talk about, or bathe in any other liquid.
    • In "yes, wrestling", Strong Bad claims that professional wrestling is less about awesome moves and more about "awesome costumes, gimmicks, and dinosaur-tranquilizer-fueled ranting and raving!"
    • In "specially marked", Strong Bad says that the best cereal box prizes are found in cereals named after sound effects, like "Smacks, pops, puffs, blasts, and... um, gunshots in a crowded mall."
    • In "imaginary", Strong Bad remarks that kids with imaginary friends have a tendency to give them weird, vaguely-unsettling names like "Rubby Plop-Plop, Sir Zabblepants, Dingy Donger, [and] Real Live Actual Mr. Blangcaster Next Door."
    • "I Killed Pom Pom" opens with Homestar musing to Pom Pom all the things he loves about Halloween: "Hot tricks, cool treats, good friends, and MURDER!"
    • In "The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods", The Homestar Runner's three biggest fears are apparently an illustration of the Golgi apparatus from his school life science textbook, "frilly toothpicks", and... a flock of "wet pigeons" entangled in a dead raccoon's rotting carcass.
  • If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device the first time the Emperor rants about religion in the series:
    This is why I specifically said when designing the Imperial truth that equality, science, and galaxy conquest is the way to go and religion needs to go out the window.
  • Episode 1 of Llamas with Hats has Paul discovering a dead body in his house:
    Paul: Tell me, Carl, exactly what you were doing before I got home!
    Carl: Alright, well...I—I was upstairs...
    Paul: Okay.
    Carl: I was, uh, I was sitting in my room...
    Paul: Yes?
    Carl: Reading a book...
    Paul: Go on.
    Carl: And, uh, well, this guy walked in...
    Paul: Okay...
    Carl: So I went up to him...
    Paul: Yes?
    Carl: And I, uh, I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.
  • Red vs. Blue:
    • Pick anything Sister says. Anything at all. It's not her catchphrase, but incidence of "Yeah... wait, what?" in the show is 99% her fault.
    • Donut makes a damn profession out of doing this with gay euphemisms, to various degrees of not being subtle at all.
    • When speculating on what the contents of the ship that brought Sister, Church assumes its a weapon and then runs through a list of potential effects ... ending in turning blue soldiers sterile. Given that the ship dropped off Sister, that last one is the most likely. When the ship turned out to have brought a person, Church runs through a list of special agent specialties ... ending with "ball kicking". Which may or may not be one of Tex's.
      • Considering what she did to Grif, multiple times, during her "fight" with the Reds and Tucker, that's probably not too far off.
  • Spriggs: a Halo 3 Machinima had this gem in episode 2:
    Willy: Oh, thank you, my dear Spriggs. Thank you for your simple focus in the age of the spectacular. Thank you for keeping it real with your witty insights and comical insults, and thank you for not asking me to take your pants off in front of your former girlfriend.
  • The YouTube Poop fad "I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages" is built from this trope. Here's an example. (MILDLY NSFW)
  • Zero Punctuation:
    Yahtzee: All games are about realizing a fantasy, whether it be the fantasy of being a courageous war hero, or the fantasy of being a future space adventurer, or, in the case of some Japanese games, the fantasy of possessing eight prehensile dicks.
    • He also describes Catherine as "a Japanese game centrally about the difficulties of relationships, such as unexpected pregnancy, the impetus of commitment, and being chased up a infinite staircase by a giant, monstrous girlfriend trying to eat you with her butt. Did I mention it's Japanese?"
    • Again in the "Remastered Editions" episode:
      Yahtzee: Ah, spring is in the air; the daisies are in bloom; the mild April breeze is bringing the sweet smell of rotting flesh that emanates from the vacant lot full of disinterred corpses that the winter snows once mercifully preserved, which is as good an explanation as any for why so many fucking remasters have come out this month.
    • An entirely visual one that's easy to overlook if you're not paying attention: during his review of Ocarina of Time 3D he describes how the original is supposedly one of the best games ever, with the game standing proudly on a winners podium. The #2 podium is occupied by Fantasy World Dizzynote  which is harmless enough, but the #3 podium is occupied by RapeLay, an infamous Japanese Eroge that is exactly as horrible as its name implies.
    • In his review of House Flipper and Far: Lone Sails, he describes the synopsis of the former:
      Yahtzee: So you play a sort of mercenary handyman and at first, to get to grips, you're given some contract jobs where someone just wants you to come into their house and clean, repaint, buy specific furniture, and/or shank the missus. [cue the Yahtzee avatar banging the female imp]
    • From the Persona 5 review:
    Yahtzee: Still, at least Japanese high schools always seem to have an impressive range of extracurricular activities available; there's the track team, the newspaper club, the guys who travel to a magic netherworld after school to battle symbolic demons born from the dark desires of humanity, and— ooh, volleyball sounds fun. note 
    Yahtzee: The P 4 G intro is breezy and colourful and kicks things off with just the right setting of tone. Here's some happy music, some dancing anime kids, several corpses strung up from telegraph poles, and oh look! Now everyone's riding scooters! WHAT FUN!

    Webcomics 
  • The Awakened gives us this exchange. Chase, the Butt-Monkey protagonist, starts off talking to his therapist about how his various issues may have started in kindergarten when a classmate refused to let him play with a toy dinosaur.
    Therapist: That doesn't sound very traumatic, Chase.
    Chase: Well, when I asked to play with it, he said no in a really mean voice. Then he stabbed me in the face with a concealed switchblade, and after that repeatedly pummelled me with the dinosaur until I finally passed out from blood loss, at which point I think he might have raped me in the ass with its tail.
    Therapist: Oh.
  • Ballerina Mafia has one strip where roommates Immy and Shugwar are complaining about each other's annoying habits, like leaving out dirty dishes, or not cleaning up the Shub-Niggurath sacrificial site.
  • In Blip, K follows up a long, meandering description of her best friends and her dog with a question to see if Bishop is really paying attention.
  • Bug Martini: The bug's bucket list: use a pun while beating up a bad guy, be a contestant on Jeopardy and give immature answers, and visit/attack France.
  • In The Dragon Doctors, Goro lists some advantages of being female. note 
  • In El Goonish Shive, Ellen gives Tedd some advice to avoid burnout:
    Ellen: You just need to broaden your areas of study to include other things and spending time with your friends. "Does that new movie suck? Will my friends like it? What have they been up to? How are they feeling? How quickly can I undo my girlfriend's bra?"
    Tedd: I do own a stopwatch...
  • In the Flying Man and Friends strip, "Burgertime Sunday," Flying Man attempts to make hamburgers, only to run out of meat. Mr. Stinky returns, using his own body as the meat, with a bun and condiments laid atop it.
  • Forest Hill: "Oh, Daddy! I had such a great day! We learned about volcanoes, and we had pizza for lunch, and Kaleb had a seizure..."
  • In Girl Genius the animatic puppet orientation to Paris was "Created with a generous grant from the Paris Art, Safety and Prisons Councils"
  • In Gunnerkrigg Court one of the end of chapter bonus pages shows Bobby the robot sharing some fun facts about pigeons. The last of them is:
    Bobby: One day I saw a pigeon fall from a tree, its body twisted and broken after an attack from somewhere above. It writhed on the floor in silence and eventually died. It had no expression, just as I have no expression. I have never relayed this story to anyone.
    The Rant: They asked Bobby to put together a fact sheet for the kids. They didn't ask him again after.
  • Homestuck:
    • The album coloUrs and mayhem: Universe B features The Squiddle Song: "Wake up in the morning, there's a brand new day ahead/ The sun is bright and the clouds smile down and all your friends are dead ..."
    • The spinoff webcomic Paradox Space uses this on page 5 of "Quality Time".
      John: what do they sell at the braj shop? like... bro stuff?
      Dave: yeah, pretty much the basics. snacks, hats, soft drinks, hand to hand combat weapons.
    • Caliborn demands Dirk draw pictures of himself and his friends kissing, holding hands, singing, giving each other flowers, getting married, and eating babies.
  • Laura Drake lists the hurdles she faced on the way to building the Triangular Bisector in Jenny and the Multiverse:
    "It hasn't been easy for this humble physics graduate. Delays… setbacks… psychiatric evaluations…"
  • A Loonatic's Tale: When Laguna feeds some tissue samples into a machine for analysis, the results come out in the middle of a grocery list.
  • Manly Guys Doing Manly Things: Jared's Long List of things Mr. Fish eats seems to mostly be leftovers of whatever Jared was eating, but also includes stray cats, seagulls, and vagrants.
  • In Minion Comics, Wendell tends to exhibit this trope:
    Dingus: We're going to wear these gay hats. We're going to go through Spencer's boring agenda point by point. Then we're going to go find those pictures of that totally hot chick.
    Wendell: Then we're all going to masturbate.
  • In A Miracle of Science, while Caprice and Benjamin are rising into orbit on a gigantic air fountain, Caprice begins explaining the reasoning behind the air-fountain/space-elevator, notices that Benjamin isn't listening, and segues into something else...
    Caprice: Mars has such low gravity that gas is lost to space more quickly than it is on larger planets like Earth and Venus.
    Ben: Uh-huh.
    Caprice: Flying up an air-fountain like this into orbit is very energy-efficient.
    Ben: Sure.
    Caprice: ...Burmese tiger-traps are fun, and recommended for ages six and up.
    Ben: Uh-huh.
  • Modern MoGal: Nui, the oni girl, presents her Teacher with hand-made sweets that include dried fruit, milk... and her blood.
  • The Non-Adventures of Wonderella: Wonderita, doped on Truth Serum, babbles about video games, movies, Hitlerella's moustache, Furry Confusion, cartoon economics, and her internalized self-loathing and paranoia. Hitlerella doesn't even notice the squick part, as she's distracted by the comment about her mustache.
  • The Order of the Stick:
    • In "No Scry Zone", Tsukiko complains about paladins.
      Tsukiko: All they do is boss you around and tell you what you can't do. "Don't walk on the grass, don't litter, don't rape the cycle of life with your unclean power." Blah blah blah.
    • In "Looking for Regroup", General Tarquin uses a healing ointment that lists its active ingredient as "magic" and the inactive ingredients as: "petroleum jelly, glycerin, heart of a virgin collected on her wedding night, and fragrance."
  • Paranatural:Throughout Chapter 4, Johnny and his friends have been venturing through the woods in order to get their revenge on Max. When we catch up to them again, we get this little conversation.
    Ollie: We're lost bro. We're tired, my tiny feet hurt, I don't think we're even in Mayview anymore, Stephen's been dissolving social constructs for the last two hours...
    Stephen: [wearing a shoe on his nose, his pants wrapped around his head, and a sock on his hand] Why do you cling so desperately to your symbols, brother?
  • Questionable Content:
    • Marten and Faye are moving into their new apartment.
      Marten: Whew! Okay, the couch is officially moved in. What's left to bring over?
      Faye: According to my list, just your dresser, a couple lamps, and my collection of exotic Japanese sex toys.
      Marten: Right on, gimme a couple minutes to catch my breath and we can go wait what was that last thing you said?
    • Momo's list of functions.
      Momo: My functions include media projection, both immersive-holographic and standard projection, heuristic internet trawling and storage of media based on my owner's expressed interests, and light housework.
      Momo: [lifting bathrobe] Also, I can shoot live eels out of my—
      Marten: [frantically covering Hannelore's ears] OKAY OKAY THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE
  • In Rhapsodies when a demoness starts to get cold feet before her wedding.
    Ms. Intimidating Cow Monster: I keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong. What if it rains? What if our families fight? What if the buffet escapes?
  • Scandinavia and the World, Sister Denmark sings a nice, idyllic song about her wedding ceremony which ends with the line which "I will honestly answer/I have slept with everyone." The real song by Huldrelokkk also doubles as Lyrical Dissonance for a non-Norse speaker at how catchy it is.
  • OZBASIC flavour of mnemonics in Sequential Art.
  • Shen Comix has a strip with the Superfriends, a Super Sentai-esque team with members each extolling the virtue they'll fight a villain with, but one of them makes the villain MUCH more nervous than the rest...
    Yellow Superfriend: "We will stop you with the powers of:"
    Blue Superfriend: "Friendship!"
    Green Superfriend: "Harmony!"
    Red Superfriend: "Incredible violence."
    Yellow Superfriend: "And love!"
  • A few of Mad Scientist L.D.G. of ''Skull Boy's many complaints while experimenting on her brother, Psycho Kid: "To top it off, he's not even a decent test subject! No mutations NO superpowers NO TUMORS!"
  • xkcd:
    • One comic has a stick-figure go on about his (its?) dreams about his ex...and then explains he's now dating his ex's mother.
    • "Penny Arcade Parody" somehow takes a left turn into Slash Fic.
    • One strip comparing Grammar Police to Fashion Police, most of the traits described are rather unflattering, but the second-to-last is "vindictive about things that are often uncomfortably transparent proxies for race or social class".

    Web Original 
  • The Annotated Pratchett File's demonstration of a Tom Swiftie:
    "Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
    "Let's look for another Grail!" Tom requested.
    "I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
    "I'm into homosexual necrophilia," said Tom in dead earnest.
  • The Archdruid Report: In The Death of the Internet: A Pre-Mortem, John Michael Greer lists off the different functions the internet primarily serves, and how they're not all that unique or novel:
    It’s a source of wry amusement to me that so many people seem to have forgotten that the internet doesn’t actually do very much that’s new. Long before the internet, people were reading the news, publishing essays and stories, navigating through unfamiliar neighborhoods, sharing photos of kittens with their friends, ordering products from faraway stores for home delivery, looking at pictures of people with their clothes off, sending anonymous hate-filled messages to unsuspecting recipients, and doing pretty much everything else that they do on the internet today.
  • Binder of Shame's Cheating Bastard once referred to the theft of milk crates as "a victimless crime, like tearing tags off mattresses, trading bootleg videotapes, and bestiality".
  • Borderland Beat, a news blog about the Mexican Drug War describes the Valencia family as thus:
    It built churches, gave money to the sick and averted violence by paying local authorities to ensure easy shipment of marijuana, heroin, and cocaine to the United States.
  • Cracked's 8 Mind-Blowing Realities of Our Future Full of Old People" compares making a home safe for senior citizens to childproofing. "Plugs have to be covered, gates erected, breakables moved, cabinets locked, knives dulled, bullets replaced with blanks, etc."
  • "Damn You Autocorrect":
    • One submission shows when autocorrect turned someone's list of chores into this, turning "crate" into "cremate".
      Just gimme a minute. I gotta do the dishes, balance my checkbook, cremate my rabbit...
    • "Trash bags milk laundry detergent cat food chips soda death laser dish soap".
    • "It's just dredged with flour, and cooked in butter, oil, and wine, and sprinkled with salt and freshly ground black people."
    • Similarly, this post about good food such as "pumpkin, spinach, walnut, and brown wife!"
  • In Crossing Kevin's Crossing, on their way to the antique store Vic and the narrator discuss the ending of Lost, the best grilled cheese sandwiches, and the strangest things Vic's seen working at urgent care.
  • The Day the Music Died: Donny Benson is noted to have eventually been caught in a hotel room "with a ball gag, a blindfold, an electrical-stimulation kit, and a teenage boy."
  • From The Doctors of the Cat Family:
    ''In the market place Lewis met Kit Marican
    She was short, but she could jump high
    Her eyes were the color of newly sprouted leaves
    And he could see she could run fast, for she was being chased by mafia goons
  • Dream: When the hunters start singing in the Grand Finale.
    George: We're a happy family~
    Bad: Yes! Very good, George!
    SapNap: And Bad is thicc~!
    George: What?
  • According to Mark Brown of Game Maker's Toolkit, Shigeru Miyamoto made games out of real-life hobbies, like music (Wii Music), pets (Nintendogs), gardening (Pikmin), and beating up gorillas (Donkey Kong).
  • This entry from Not Always Right, had a student ask for some help and then compliment the librarian with this rather disturbing remark.
    "Thanks! You're so sweet! If I cut you, you'd bleed syrup."
  • A Stalker with a Crush fangirl in an Official Fanfiction University, during a near-death experience, uttered the line "I don't wanna be dead! I'm only sixteen! I never got into college! I never took my driving test! Daniel Radcliffe never replied to the email proposal I sent him!"
  • Bear in Person of Interest had a twitter account, where he once listed what each human team member smelled like: "Lady Talking to Herself" (Root), nail polish and apples; "Bespectacled Man" (Finch), green tea and wool; "Hammer Lady" (Shaw), tequila and steak; "Tall Man" (Reese), gunpowder and regret.
  • Protectors of the Plot Continuum:
    • invoked Charge lists tend to start with minor charges like "having bad spelling", go on to charging for horrific Squick or disrupting the entire fabric of the multiverse, then finish on the unofficial charges like "confusing PPC agents".
    • The Department of Angst deals with overly melodramatic fanfics. Their methods of cheering up canon characters include balloon animals, sock puppets, sun lamps, chocolate, and hard drugs... though its operatives are encouraged to avoid medicating people if possible.
  • "The Harm of Gaming: We Present the Facts" on Rock Paper Shotgun delivered a beautiful line — "turning instead toward shopping, DVDs and knife crime".
  • This tweet by A Small Fiction lists some examples of "little, gradual problems" that people don't notice, starting with two mundane things and ending with an ominous one.
    People often don't notice the little, gradual problems.
    Cluttered desks. Dishes in the sink.
    The thing that stands in the corner at night.
  • The P-P-P-Powerbook!, a prank mockup of an Apple laptop sent by Something Awful member Jeff Harris to an Ebay scammer, had a drawn-on menu bar reading "File, Edit, Kiddie Porn, Yams, Close."
  • The disclaimer at the bottom of stan-wars.com: "This site is purely satirical. This site is not meant to be cited as a credible source of information. This site is not based on fact, logic, common sense or common decency, (but neither are most legitimate news sites). This site is a work of convoluted logic, contradictory opinions and satirical fiction. This site is not affiliated with any of the artists mentioned. The author of this site is currently under a psychiatrist's care for several mental disorders."
  • TV Tropes:
    • This Very Wiki's page on Sylvester Stallone describes him as "an American actor, director, producer, screenwriter and former porn star."
    • Similarly, the image on Yukio Mishima's page is captioned "Author, actor, stud, failed coup leader."
    • Phil Spector is described as "an American Record Producer, songwriter and convicted murderer."
    • R. Kelly is described as "an American singer, songwriter, record producer, and convicted sex offender." His Wikipedia page displays it in that order too.
  • derrickcomedy.com's "Bro Rape" includes a moment like this, when the Newsline reporter is going through the bag of a would-be bro rapist: "Six-pack Natty Ice. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Big black dildo."
  • Buzzfeed has "The Friendliest People You'll Meet on the FBI's Most Wanted List
    "Eva's the whole package. She's pretty, she's smart, she's funny as heck. She'll win over your parents with her charm and stories about bank embezzlement!"
  • A guide for parents considering whether to let their kids see The Wicker Man (1973) (hint: no). It quite dispassionately details the variously suggestive and overt sexual scenes, scenes featuring alcohol and swearing, and right at the very bottom is a tiny spoiler box labelled "Frightening/Intense Scenes"...
  • Wikipedia:
    • The article on African currency has this line to start off the second paragraph: "In pre-colonial times African currency included shells, ingots, arrowheads, iron, human beings, salt, cattle, goats, blankets, axes, beads, and many others." What doesn't belong?
    • Their article on Kim Kardashian once read: "She is widely known for her appearances in Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Dancing with the Stars, and a sex tape with former boyfriend Ray J." (Though that may be more like Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.)
    • An example on the page about Strathclyde Park in Motherwell: "Strathclyde Park contains many sports and leisure facilities and also has sites for bird-watchers, doggers and anglers." (For those who aren't aware, "dogging" is British slang for 'having sex in public' or 'observing people having sex in public'.)
    • From the article on Patty Hearst:
      Patricia Campbell Hearst (born February 20, 1954), now known as Patricia Hearst Shaw, is an American newspaper heiress, socialite, actress, and bank robber.
    • About Calamity Jane:
      A woman who exhibited kindness and compassion towards others, especially the sick and needy, who also was an alcoholic and traded sexual favors for money.
    • The page for the Unabomber used to describe him as "an American mathematician, social critic, and murderer who carried out a campaign of mail bombings."
    • The lead section for the page on Frank Zappa bassist Roy Estrada starts off talking about his music career, then finishes with "He is also a convicted child molester, serving a twenty-five year sentence as from January 2012."
    • The page on Roman Polański describes him as "a French-Polish film director, producer, writer, actor, and convicted statutory rapist."
    • When O. J. Simpson was in jail for robbery, his page described him as "a former American football player, broadcaster, actor, and a convicted felon".
    • From the page on Chris Brown:
      Christopher Maurice "Chris" Brown (born May 5, 1989) is an American singer, songwriter, rapper, dancer, actor, and convicted felon.
    • Bill Cosby's page formerlynote  started by saying he is "an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, author, and convicted sex offender."
    • Similarly, the article on the surname Epstein lists "Jeffrey Epstein (1953–2019), American financier, philanthropist, and sex offender".
    • The page on Icelandic magical staves starts off with a rune to attract a girl, then suddenly: "Necropants, a pair of pants made from the skin of a dead man that are capable of producing endless gold", squeezed between the rune for "To Win in Court" and "To Induce Fear". It links to sites with more about Icelandic Magical Staves, which are not much better. For the curious: you get a man (has to be a man) to agree to let you dig him up and skin him from the waist down after he dies. Should you manage to outlive him, you do that, draw the rune on a gold piece, and put it in the purse. And yes, you must wear them.
    • From the "Signs and symptoms" section of Torsades de pointes:note 
      Symptoms and consequences include palpitations, dizziness, lightheadedness (during shorter episodes), fainting (during longer episodes), and sudden cardiac death.
    • The page on Austin Powers actor Joe Son. "A mixed martial arts fighter and manager, actor, and convicted felon.". Becomes especially unnerving when you consider what he was convicted of.
    • From the infobox at the top of Al-Bayan (radio station):
      Format Religious, talk, news, terrorist propagandanote 
    • Roman emperor Caracalla:
      Domestically, Caracalla became known for the construction of the Baths of Caracalla, which became the second-largest baths in Rome; for the introduction of a new Roman currency named the antoninianus, a sort of double denarius; and for the massacres he ordered, both in Rome and elsewhere in the empire.
    • This gem from the article on "mummy brown," a favorite paint pigment of the Pre-Raphaelite artists:
      Mummy brown was originally made in the 16th and 17th centuries from white pitch, myrrh, and the ground-up remains of Egyptian mummies...
    • The Polish Wikipedia article on the parody metal band Impaled Northern Moonforest, specifically the section on the "acoustic black metal" genre that sprung around the group.
      The creators of acoustic black metal ... base their lyrics around themes such as Norway, snow, frost, Satan, Adolf Hitler etc.
    • The article on the Young Turks says
      These "Three Pashas", as they came to be known, exercised absolute control over the Ottoman Empire from 1913 to 1918, bringing the country closer to Germany, signing the Ottoman–German Alliance to enter the Empire into World War I on the side of the Central Powers, and carrying out the Armenian Genocide.
    • The introductory description of William Seabrook reads:
      William Buehler Seabrook (February 22, 1884 – September 20, 1945) was an American Lost Generation occultist, explorer, traveler, cannibal, and journalist, born in Westminster, Maryland.
    • The first sentence of Hans Reiser's article:
      Hans Thomas Reiser (born December 19, 1963) is an American computer programmer, entrepreneur, and convicted murderer.
    • From the lead of John N. Mitchell:
      John Newton Mitchell (September 5, 1913 – November 9, 1988) was an American lawyer, the 67th Attorney General of the United States under President Richard Nixon, chairman of Nixon's 1968 and 1972 presidential campaigns, and a convicted criminal.
    • After Burger King put out an ad intended to get Google Home to list the ingredients to the Whopper, many Wiki Vandals edited the Wikipedia article's list of ingredients to change what Google Home said. At one point, the article said the Whopper consisted of "a flame-grilled patty made with 100% medium-sized child with no preservatives or fillers, topped with sliced tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cyanide, pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise, served on a sesame-seed bun."
    • A rather unexpected one from the Wikipedia page for the autoimmune disease Reactive Arthritis, formerly known as Reiter's disease:
      The term "reactive arthritis" is strongly preferred and increasingly used as a substitute for this designation because Hans Conrad Julius Reiter was not the first to describe the syndrome, his conclusions regarding its pathogenesis were incorrect, and because he committed war crimes as a Nazi at Buchenwald concentration camp during World War II.
    • The article on Kenneth Halliwell opens with the following:
      Kenneth Leith Halliwell (23 June 1926 – 9 August 1967) was a British actor, writer and collagist. He was the mentor, boyfriend, and murderer of playwright Joe Orton.
  • Wikitravel's summary of Dagestan on the North Caucasus page. "Dagestan: An environment utterly exotic and alien to Russians of the steppe and woodlands, Dagestan boasts astounding cultural diversity, breathtaking and austere mountaintop villages, an ancient history, and a distinct possibility of being kidnapped, and as well as a target for terrorism from Chechen rebels."
  • A blog by an industrial gas supplier lists fifteen uses for helium:
    The internet
    Your iPhone
    Apollo 13
    The Large Hadron Collider
    Nuclear reactors
    SCUBA
    Emphysema
    MRIs
    Computer hard drives
    Lasers
    Ship inspection
    Arc welding
    Microscopes
    Your steering wheel
    Suicide

    Web Videos 
  • The Angry Video Game Nerd:
    • In his review of Pong consoles, he talks about the difficulty of having to plug them into RF switches on old television sets:
    AVGN: This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. You have to plug them into a box, and then screw the box into your TV. But I say, get yourself one of these, plug them into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself! [flips the bird at the connector while he says this]
    • Later, while playing Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), he goes through a list of things found in that game that he never expected to find in any Sonic game:
    AVGN: Telekinesis, time travel, treasure hunting, bat tits [quick cut to a close-up of Rouge's cleavage], human princess and hedgehog romance...
  • Alex from The Awkward Compilation while filming his housemate/crush Lester under the pretext of a student film: "Teacher said, uh, make variety with camera angles. Like I wanna make a high shot, y'know, low shot... cumshot..."
  • A number of songs from Bad Lip Reading feature this in places.
    • From "(Rockin') All Nite Long":
      Wiz Khalifa: Bring me potatoes. And meat. And greens. And weed.
    • In "Herman Cain":
      Herman Cain: All you can do is give that woodchuck a tuna melt, or romantic shoes, or a metal skull crusher.
  • Mocked by Chris Ray Gun:
    You know what's a really good idea? Putting "crass jokes" and "innuendos" next to "rape" and "murder" on a list of similar things. That's just...oh, makes you sound brilliant. You know, my to-do-list for tomorrow actually follows a very similar structure. You know, I gotta get some milk and eggs, gotta call my internet provider, gotta pay my phone bill, I gotta break into a nursery and set all the minority newborns ablaze, and to top it all off, I got to fill up my car! All equally mundane things to do.
  • Climate Town: A photo of a mushroom cloud with the words The Nuclear Arms Race on it falls out of a collage of '80s things like rubix cubes and walkmans while Rollie says the 1980s were the decade we did everything right in "Fast Fashion Is Hot Garbage".
  • In a non-vulgar example of this trope, CombuskenIsAwesome's "244- DETECTlVE PlKACHU SPOlLERS" is a YouTube Poop synopsis of the spoilers in Pokémon Detective Pikachu (from the perspective of someone that hasn't actually seen the film). While the first few "spoilers" are Captain Obvious statements like "It's Pikachu!", the video then lists actual spoilers, particularly Pikachu being Tim's father, and Mewtwo's ability to fuse humans with Pokemon.
  • Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv) has "Bed Bath and Beyond Birthday!"
  • Done quite literally in Team Four Star's Dragonball Z Abridged, when he finds out Gohan and Krillin are from the planet Earth.
    Frieza: Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!
  • The song Brand New Day from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. "It's a brand new day, yeah the sun is high, all the birds are singing that you're gonna die."
  • In this Epic Meal Time video.
    "SUSHI! FAST FOOD! SEX!"
  • Filthy Frank: Frank thinks he's most like a cat due to reasons like hating water...and being neutered at a young age.
  • Friendship is Witchcraft:
    • The song "Pinkie's Brew" is probably one of the more literal examples, as it's about baking a time spell. It features such ingredients as figs, butter, cinnamon, Eye of Newt and seapony tears.
      Bread and butter, chant and mutter,
      Marination, incantation,
      Chocolate icing, time-line splicing,
      Yeast is rising, rectifying...
    • Applejack gives Princess Molestia the following advise on how to increase her sex appeal:
      Applejack: Take a shower! Wear deodorant. Breathe through your nose. Throw some spiders!
      Molestia: I feel like that stopped making sense...
    • Pretty much every verse of Episode 8's "It'll Be Okay", a song that establishes Twilight's Moral Event Horizon.
      ''Soon we did everything together
      He taught me how to fly a kite
      I watched him grow into a stallion
      I watched him sleep in bed at night
      It's not creepy.
  • Many Gemini Home Entertainment videos begin with a number of more mundane topics before introducing the twist, accompanied by a sudden stop in the music.
    • In "World's Weirdest Animals", rural Minnesota is home to the Greater Prairie Chicken (found in Wilkin County), the Burrowing Owl (in Clay County) and Woodcrawlers (found everywhere).
    • "Wilderness Survival Guide" does it twice, the more striking of which is "Sounds to Avoid": Coyote howls, Cougar screams and auditory hallucination (a man screaming desperately for help, later revealed to be a "fake human").
    • "Games for Kids" gives the rules for games that can be played by groups of kids. Examples shown include Hide and Go Seek, Freeze Tag, Sardines and FEED THE WOODS.
  • The Green Team[1] sketch with from Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and John C Reilly has a few, e.g. "Biodegradable napkins, batteries, and glass dildos."
  • The narration by Andy George of the youtube channel How to make everything can occasionally dip into creepy territory, as apparent from his laconic description of a newly made iron viking axe.
    Andy: We can use this pretty much for anything. Chop our food, chop our firewood, chop our enemies... basically all of it.
  • Internet Historian:
    "Promoting desserts, are we? Brad's wife used to love desserts! New item on the menu? Brad's wife would've made it twice as good! Today we remember 9/11? Brad's wife used to love 9-"
  • A Killer Song!
    Let's see now. If I throw in a little bit of sugar, some flour, two eggs... that should do it. Oh my goodness! I almost forgot my secret ingredient: Cyanide!
  • This Let's Play of Baldur's Gate II describes the source of the protagonist's name with "If you really want to understand the joke in his name, have 2 and a half hours to kill, and don't mind developing cancer..."
  • Madamluna incorporated one of these into her gag story of how she and DeceasedCrab met.
    "But soon, with a song and a dance and a demonstration of technology that could vaporize a bear at three hundred yards, he scuttled his way into my heart."
  • Mahou Profile: A History of Magical Girls: In the Himitsu no Akko-chan episode, ErynCerise lists the things that come to mind when someone says "mMagicalGirl":
    — Wands, frilly outfits, lockets, ribbons, animal sidekicks, rainbow laser beams, creepy sexual undertones...
  • Matthew Santoro:
    • Zig-zagged in Yo Mama. Matt talks about what childhood was like for most people, saying "Some kid would make fun of your mom, and then you'd cry, and then you'd end up punching said kid in the face, and then you grew up with violent tendencies which caused you to lose every job you've ever had because you keep punching your bosses in the face, and then you'd use all your newly-found free time to make videos on the internet!"
    • In Star Wars in 3-D!!!, Matt mentions 4 movie-viewing options: Blockbuster, Netflix, iTunes, and pirating movies for free.
    • In Friday the 13th ft. Eugene, Eugene says that he has a My Little Pony collection, his mother is his favorite person in the world, and he has irregular bowel movements.
    • In Winter is WICKED!, Matt mentions the good things about being near a warm fire: watching the flames flicker, hearing the wood crackling, and smelling the smoke. He then smells smoke, and discovers that Hugo just made a fire.
    • In 40 Fascinating Facts about Money!, Matt says that, according to studies, if you offer someone 10 million dollars (specifically that number), they will do almost anything: abandon their friends and family, change their sex, and even commit murder!
    • In 28 Things I've Learned In 28 Years!, Matt makes an announcement to the friends, subscribers, and trolls in his audience that it's his birthday.
  • The various gag dubs churned out by My Way Entertainment use this trope a lot.
  • When Frankomatic of Obscure Game Theatre tries hard not to lose in the final confrontation that involves dancing in Brain Dead 13:
    Frankomatic: Y! M! C! A! Splits... mooning... [Lance gets shot full of holes and reduced to his eyeballs] ...failure!
  • Outside Xbox pulls this regularly in their Hitman (2016) playthroughs, since their versions of 47 do not have the priorities of a normal man.
    Andy: (on a hotel) Five stars for cleanliness, five stars for location, five stars for people isolating themselves when I needed to murder them. That was particularly appreciated.
    Andy: I can see now why you didn't want to offer any hair for my wonderful mechanical man. Well, it's no big deal, everyone's got their different styles. Side-part, buzzcut, hair full of snakes.
  • In one of Picnic Face's videos, entitled "Near Death Experiences", the people being interviewed are describing how their mind flashed to field of flowers with a white horse that wanted them to ride it, etc., etc., until..."The horse raped me."
  • Done in The Quest For Geekdom. The Eric Rosethorn Academy of Eloquent Supervillainy teaches class, ambition, and unbridled malice.
  • In this Retsupurae of this video.
    Chip Cheezum: "Name: Christopher. What can I say about myself? Um, dot dot dot. I like Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon...and vore. My dream *Ironicus' laughter* is that I'm in the next Sonic the Hedgehog game."
  • Saberspark does this when describing the struggles Sharon Spitz from Braceface goes through as a teen, in his review of the episode "Busted".
    Saber: Bullies, boyfriends, explosive titties. You know, the usual.
  • Several instances in Scott The Woz:
    • From the episode "Get Rich Quick!":
      Scott: Woah, "two truths and a lie"? Uhh, I'm white, I'm near sighted and I eat f**king dogs.
    • From the episode "Super Smash Bros. Melee | The Best One, Apparently":
      Scott: Man, look at all the features this thing touts on the back [of the box]! The characters, stages, secrets, trophies, epilepsynote ; this game has it all!
    • In the episode "Old Series, New Developer", Scott explains that he never got into the original Sly Cooper trilogy when it first came out because he was too invested in stupid Nintendo games, kindergarten, and "totally not alcoholism."
  • Sursum Ursa from Stuff You Like uses this in her short review of Roman Holiday:
    Sursum Ursa: [Anne indulges in] comfy shoes, gelato, dancing with boys, a mischievous pixie haircut, and casual violence!
  • Target Women:
    "The next time words fail you in trying to describe your genitalia, just turn to the world of nature: my chia pet, my fern, my gentle alpaca, my sarlacc pit from Return of the Jedi."
  • That Guy With the Glasses:
    • Chester A. Bum of Bum Reviews does this quite a bit. A perfect example can be found with this line, from a Nostalgia Critic video where the eponymous critic paid Chester to finish his review of Follow That Bird:
      Chester: ...and Cookie Monster ate his car because he thought it was a cookie! I once thought my car was a cookie! Only it wasn't a cookie. Or a car. It was MAN.
    • Humour of this type is also the bread and butter of Ask That Guy, where he frequently reveals disturbing facts about his personal life.
    • Less often, but The Nostalgia Chick does this too. At one point, she was talking about bad Disney sequels and then ended up revealing that her uncle molested her.
    • Dominic of Video Game Confessions, when interviewing Fox McButt, stopped him after hearing him casually state that "humanies" (the reverse of "furries") like him "like to get together and play games, and talk to one another, make jokes, sodomize one another, and then usually go out and have a bit of dinner."
    • MikeJ also does this from time to time.
      I think you all know what's coming next... A fried kitten. Aww.
    • The Nostalgia Critic did this when he was begging Tom and Jerry: The Movie not to subject him to another song. Taxes and shaving someone's back are boring and icky, respectively, but whoring himself out has got to be overkill.
    • From the crossover review of Child's Play, Phelous justifies the film as being a Christmas movie because "It's got snow, presents, decorations, murder, plenty Christmas-y!"
  • The video "mom ordered ants for my birthday" by Treatsforbeasts, the mother says this to her son about the ants.
    “Eat them, keep them, please them, tease them, freeze them, adhere them to my husband's prostate".
  • The French web video series Unknown Movies, which mixes movie reviews with a webseries-like storyline, has, in each episode, the host of the show analyzing a fairly obscure movie, often packed with unpleasant imagery and subject matters, then giving a bit of insight about its production history, some background on the people involved in it, then discussing the general themes and ideas behind it and giving his opinion on it... and then brutally murdering someone during the review. Apparently as means to crusade against the masses' awful taste.
  • You Know Whats Bullshit: In the iTunes episode, the Bullshit Man enumerates the following things iTunes does at start-up.
    BS Man: Now, it bounces a few times, shows me a beach ball, and when it finally starts, it tells it's searching for Genius results, accessing the iTunes Store, updating playlist information, contacting Mars, raising shields, activating atomic soundwave booster, scanning for nuclear barracudas.
  • A YouTube video titled "Top Ten N Words". You click on it expecting a certain infamous racial slur only to get different words starting with N and arrives at number 1 with "nice". That is until...
    "Honorable mention: NIG-"

Alternative Title(s): Bread Milk Eggs Squick

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"Hello, trees. Hello, birds. Hello, scary, freezing mist."

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Main / BreadEggsMilkSquick

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