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You Need to Get Laid

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"Tuvok, I understand
You are a Vulcan man
You have just gone without
For seven years... about!"
The Doctor (sung to La donna è mobile), Star Trek: Voyager, "Tinker, Tailor, Doctor, Spy"

This trope occurs when one character strongly suggests to another to go out and do some dancing. And not just any dancing, but something along the lines of the "Horizontal Mambo", a "Dance With No Pants" if you will, in order to find release for some of their pent-up tension, if you know what we mean.

Sex. We're talking about sex.

Sometimes said by one friend to another who seems too engrossed in their hobbies or whatever, it is similar in sentiment to "You need a girlfriend/boyfriend", and is the standard response to geeks being geeky. This often sounds patronizing due to the implication that the person's problems only exist because of their raging hormones and that a good roll in the hay will miraculously solve everything and make them a better person to boot because Sex Is Good and what they're doing isn't. It can very easily carry a wide variety of baggage. And that's not even speaking of the existence of asexuality.

A slight variation of the concept features trying to hook them up with another person in the hopes that the above will occur on its own instead of stating it outright. Taking this trope to its extreme can result in Pity Sex.

When the person literally needs to get laid, this is Mate or Die.

Compare Why Don't You Marry It?, Sex as Rite-of-Passage, Nerds Are Virgins and Intimate Psychotherapy. Contrast Did You Just Have Sex?. Truly sadistic authors may combine this with Can't Have Sex, Ever for a variety of comedic, dramatic, or even tragic effects depending on whether the one speaking is being deliberately vicious or is merely ignorant of the other person's situation, and on how the one being teased takes it.


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    Anime & Manga 
  • Kyon suggests to Haruhi in Haruhi Suzumiya that finding a boyfriend might make her less of a Jerkass. The novels later suggest that repressed attraction helps a bit.
  • Quite a few people have told Kirihara this in the second season of Darker than Black, since she's a little too devoted to trying to catch Hei.
  • In Fullmetal Alchemist, Maes Hughes helpfully says to Roy Mustang... "I suggest you find yourself a wife!" In a variation, this isn't because Roy needs to get laid. It's because, politically speaking, Roy's superiors would look on him more favorably if he were married as they all are, instead of going out with a different woman every night as he usually does. Of course, if they knew that all the "dates" Roy went on were actually his cypher for his alchemical notes, they would have a slightly different reaction.
    • Which would admittedly be a better reaction than if they realized that his 'dates' were also him meeting with his informants (who happen to be callgirls).
  • Star Driver asks us all a very important question pertaining to Tetsuya's motorcycle enthusiasm: VIRGIN?
  • Haruka from My-HiME is constantly going around butting into everything. Everyone in the student body agrees she could use a boyfriend.
  • The Movie adaptation of RahXephon has a rare case of it actually working in action.
  • Implied by Sui Feng's Zanpakto, Suzumebachi, in the Zanpakto Rebellion filler arc of the Bleach anime, who states that she should just give up on Yoruichi and find a boyfriend.
  • In Fairy Tail, Aquarius often annoys Lucy by telling her to get a boyfriend already.
  • Han Joo-Doh from Yona of the Dawn often receives this, especially from Geun-Tae who is already married.
  • Eda in Black Lagoon frequently teases Revy about whether or not she's going to have sex with Rock. Revy doesn't find it remotely amusing, and finds Eda's taunts that if Revy won't, maybe she will, even less amusing.
  • In The Irregular at Magic High School, someone notices that Miyuki's mood is much improved from the day before, and concludes that Tatsuya must have given her "some good attention". (He has, but it wasn't sexual in nature.)
  • Kaguya-sama: Love Is War:
    • With all of the sexual tension and constant longing for Shirogane, Hayasaka explicitly tells Kaguya this almost word for word in Chapter 71.
    • Yume's relationship "advice" to others boils down to "have sex". It backfires horribly when she suggested the same to Tsubame to help her figure out her feelings for Ishigami. Ishigami isn't interested in sex without love, and Tsubame is too indecisive, so rejecting his confession yet still offering Pity Sex ended up hurting both Tsubame and Ishigami.
  • In the softcore manga Don't Meddle with My Daughter! a tentacle monster attacks the city and traps a number of young women to feed on their sexual urges. The new Eight Wonder is dispatched by her organization to deal with it. Concerned with her daughter's safety the original Eight wonder shows up first, and gets captured by the monster. Suddenly the monster becomes sluggish, and the new Eight Wonder kills it with a single punch. At the debrief, intel reveals that the young women were taken to local hospitals and are expected to make a full recovery. As for the monster, when it swallowed the original Eight Wonder, her sexual frustration, combined with her superpowers, overloaded the monster's system allowing it be killed relatively quickly. Eight Wonder's supervisor teases her and says she could hook her up with someone.

  • In Bill Maher's Biblically Incorrect (just after the 2008 US elections) he says that when homophobia is a bigger issue than terrorism, America needs to get laid.

    Comic Books 
  • Astonishingly, this was once said to Conan the Barbarian, of all people. In one of the later comics, Conan has become the general of a rebellion against King Numedides of Aquilonia. A bit stressed, Conan has been angrily chasing people out of his tent with threats of bodily harm. One of his allies suggests going into Messantia and finding a girl to bring on the road. This turns out to be a bad idea, as the girl he finds turns out to be a spy who poisons Conan. Fortunately, he survives.
  • The G-rated version happens in an issue of Marvel Adventures Avengers, when the Avengers are being diagnosed by Doc Samson. He writes in his notes on Spider-Man, "needs a wife." Good to know it's not just the fans who can't stand One More Day.
    • That sequence is taken from the X-Factor issues where Doc Samson examines the team. Wolverine makes a clever reference to Watchmen when he says his blot-test looks like "Some pretty flowers".
  • This page in the ElfQuest series: And really. Rayek does need to get laid. Badly. With a non-evil woman.
  • Jesse Custer in Preacher has this realization about himself after a long-winded rant to his dog, after he hears about a watchdog group protesting Arseface's music career:
    Watchdog group MY ASS! Who do these self appointed little fucks think they are, anyhow? Goddamn bullshit artists with too much time on their hands goin' lookin' for trouble where there ain't none to begin with! I mean Jesus Christ, that's how P. fuckin' C. got started! Political correctness! "Yeah, we're a buncha east coast liberal assholes an' we are just SO concerned—except we ain't got the balls to take on any real problems so we're gonna invent some our own so's we can feel like we're doin' somethin'! We're gonna save the world by makin' sure no one ever says FAGGOT! I tell you Skeeter, that's the problem with this country today. We're better off'n anyone else in the damn world but we still ain't satisfied. We can't just be happy with who are an' what we got. You know who it reminds me of is. These BODY-PIERCIN' MOTHER FUCKERS. I mean what the hell're you trynna tell me, you need a fuckin' iron ring in your race or your tits or your ass to feel fulfilled or some shit like that? You ain't a INDIVIDUAL 'til you got a big iron bar shot through the enda your pecker? You need that shit to be sure of who you are? Jesus fuckin' Christ, if there's one goddamn thing I am CERTAIN of when I wake up in the mornin' IT'S WHO THE FUCK I AM!
    I really gotta get laid.
  • Ninjette once told this to Empowered.
  • When Peter David first started writing Aquaman, he quickly became a violent, snarky anti-hero... then he met Dolphin.
    Aquaman: You mean, all this time, THIS was all I needed..?
    Dolphin: If you're like any other man, yes.
  • Subverted in Kevin Smith's Green Arrow run where Ollie scolds Mia to quit the lewd jokes and head to school. Mia snarks back that she would have thought Ollie would be in a better mood after a night-long romp with Black Canary.
  • Clark's editor says this in Superman: Secret Identity, when suggesting his pieces might be less analytical and detached if he lived a little more.
  • This is a running joke for Spider Jerusalem in Transmetropolitan.
  • Scott Pilgrim: Wallace says this to Scott during Scott's depression and his delving into video games to cope at the start of volume 6. Hilarity Ensues when Scott tries to take his advice and it just shows that he is undergoing deeper problems.
  • In the adult comic Disco Dragon, protagonist Lali takes it as a personal slight that her geeky friend Christina has never had sex, and takes it upon herself to remedy that by hooking her up with a DJ.
  • In The Sandman (1989) spin-offs The Thessaliad and Thessaly: Witch for Hire, Fetch insists that Thessaly is not living a full life if she's not having sex.
  • When the Legend and Billy Butcher first meet in The Boys, the former suggests the latter's Ax-Crazy tendencies could be stymied by having sex, even offering to hook him up with a coworker.
    The Legend: Or try a cat. Or a dog.
    Billy Butcher: I dunno mate. I ain't really into that.
    The Legend: As a pet, goddammit...!
  • Red Ears: One strip had a guy at an office telling his boss that he feels despondent and unmotivated. His boss says that he feels the same way on occasion, so what he does is go home and have wild sex with his wife to cheer himself up, and suggests that his employee try the same. The next day, the guy walks into the office feeling energized and thanks his boss for the advice before complimenting him on the curtains in his living room.
  • In the first issue of Barbarella: Red Hot Gospel, one of Barbarella and Jury's cellmates is a Holier Than Thou nervous wreck named Rho whose constant prayers for salvation drive the other inmates nuts. One of the other inmates offers her a bodice ripper to try and shut her up. When this just gets her more worked up, another inmate offers sex to get her to mellow out.

    Comic Strips 
  • A G-rated version in Garfield:
    Jon: Who needs women, Garfield? All we need is pair of tiny shoes, and... it's the dancing accordion!
    Garfield: You need a woman.
  • Another G-rated version in Retail, merely saying "You need a boyfriend" and then saying she could have been even less subtle than that...

    Fan Works 
  • A Crown of Stars: In chapter 43 Shinji and Asuka finally make love. The next morning everyone realize it due to how glowingly happy look and behave:
    Ching: Well, His Majesty knows because it happened on Avalon, and therefore he knows about it. And what he said and your reactions made it easy for me to figure it out. Congratulations, by the way. You both look so damn happy I'm envious all over again. You two both needed last night, I think. You're practically glowing, and giving off a cloud of very specific pheromones so powerful I'm practically getting a contact high from standing downwind of you. Every Imperial here is going to be able to tell because of things like that. There's also the hundred subtle cues of posture, facial expression, and body language that tell say, trained psychiatrists, for example, that things between you two are different from yesterday.
  • Advice and Trust: Chapter 4 begins the morning after Shinji and Asuka made love for first time. Rather moping and feeling sorry as usual, Shinji cried with joy, hummed and danced. Misato noted that he seemed feeling unusually good.
  • Pulled off brilliantly in the Naruto Peggy Sue fanfic Reload, where Sasuke-chan tells Itachi that he needs to get laid. Itachi listens, and sets off on an epic quest to get some, and isn't hesitant about telling people about it. Needless to say, this generates quite a few WTF?? reactions.
  • Evangelion 303: When Misato finds out that Asuka and Shinji were now together her reaction was along the lines of: "Oh. So THAT'S why she's been in such a good mood lately.”.
    • Several pages later a person in the comments section said:
      Ha, the Shinji Effect. She is even being nice to rei... She starts being nice to her in RE-TAKE as well. Maybe banging Shinji makes her docile...
  • Guys Being Dudes: Sierra deciding Arlo needs to after he's been throwing himself fully into his research and angsting over his ex for several months is what kicks off the plot.
  • HERZ: Misato asked her subordinates if Asuka already knew Kurumi Kagero — a girl tried to romance her husband Shinji in the past — had come back. They told her yes, Asuka knows and no, she is not angry. She is actually in an excellent mood today. Misato quips Shinji must be exhausted.
  • Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide: According Misato, Ritsuko needs a man to fix her “cold, inhuman, heartless doctor” attitude.
  • Shows up a lot in The History Boys fanfic: Scripps is celibate, and Dakin is always trying to get him to either get laid or even just have a wank.
  • Shinji And Warhammer 40 K: When Shinji barely could move his Eva, Maya thought that maybe his mood would improve if he had a bit of fun. So she recruited two other girls and they kidnapped Shinji and Asuka announcing the five of them were going to have an orgy. The next day neither Shinji nor Asuka wanted to tell what had happened, but Shinji's sync level had skyrocketed (and several chapter later another scene revealed that he had kissed both Asuka and Rei in quick sucession).
  • Thousand Shinji: A meta example. An artist drew pictures of the main characters after their ascension to godhood. Several fans -including the fic's writer- noted that they looked noticeable stable and sane, and mostly human instead eldritch (although it was justifiable since they wore humanoid forms at specific times), and the artist replied:
    "Also, they're pleased in this picture because they've just gotten laid AND been to an awesome concert."
  • Occurs frequently in Twilight fanfiction towards Edward (especially pre-Breaking Dawn, hur hur). In a typical set-up, Emmett and Jasper would rib Edward about being stuffy and uptight and accuse his virginity of being the root of the problem.
  • In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, Shion commented to Keiichi that if his sister (Kyon's mother) went to a hotel once or twice a week she would be much happier.
  • Something of a Running Gag in Athena Prime's Knights of the Old Republic fanfic After The Fall. Noura Den Hades (Revan) and Carth have sorted things out, they just haven't taken that particular plunge and things ranging from bad timing to Sith ghosts keep interrupting things.
  • My Friend, my Lover is an X-Men: Evolution fic playing that straight with Jean actually having medical problems due to lack of sex (Storm states mutants have a very high sex drive). She establishes a Friends with Benefits relationship with Scott. The change in both of them is rather unbelievable for their friends. So is the change in Logan after he hooks up with Storm.
  • In Life Left Behind Draco lives as a Muggle in New York. He works at a diner and one Friday, his best friend Joel shows up for his weekly 'you need a life' chat, which includes a discussion about the fact that Draco hasn't gotten laid in too long. What Joel doesn't know is that Harry, who is the ex that Draco has been pining after for ten years, happened to show up at the diner right before and can hear the whole conversation. Hilarity (and a bit of drama) ensues.
  • Imagine a property where you have an extreme bookworm and a godlike yet mischievous teacher. Imagine a fandom more than happy to dive into Rule 34 like, say, the internet. Yes, there are some fics (the one linked to here is from a side-story to Progress) from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic that go here. Usually the recipient's response is a request for Brain Bleach.
    • Celestia went the extra mile in the Progress side-story. She tells Luna this, and then gathers four of her guards to assist her (which Luna turned down). Oddly, it wasn't because of Luna being uptight, but because of her being naive.
    • Another My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanon example: Equestrylvania features a scene in which Spitfire attempts to push Shatterstorm and Rainbow Dash together.
    Spitfire: This is Shatterstorm we're talking about here! Dude needs a girlfriendstat!
  • In Hogyoku ex Machina, Ichigo gets told this word-for-word by his hollow self since he's severely weakening himself in order to not be a Poisonous Person (it came with his Physical God status) and he's a Chick Magnet anyway, so why waste it? Ichigo's so embarrassed and adverse to the idea that the hollow turns to Zangetsu and asks, "He's not gay, right? I'd know if he was gay."
  • In a parody of the Spider-Man 2 movie, Peter doesn't get why Harry is so obsessed with avenging a father who constantly looked down on him. "You either need therapy or a blowjob, and I don't own any kneepads."
  • In Hunting the Unicorn, the Warblers constantly ridicule how sugary and chaste Blaine is, and wonder when he and Kurt will finally have sex so they can act less like Sickeningly Sweethearts. In the twelfth chapter, the trope gets inverted in the worst way possible. Blaine did, in fact, get laid—when he was sixteen, and attempting to invoke Sex Equals Love. Blaine's older brother did not take it well. In short, getting laid is why Blaine's so uptight.
  • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic Whispers has Celestia give Arcanus an academic task to study love - essentially a G-rated version of this trope. His mother finds the idea hilarious, then proceeds to very much encourage it.
  • Also, in Fallout: Equestria It's revealed in flashback that PINKIE PIE! of all people says this verbatim as advice to Applejack. Of course she said this as explanation as to why she kept pranking AJ as "encouragement." By that point, the Great War was waging and it's psychological toll was weighing on the advised party heavily. As it was on all of them, AJ was just the worst at hiding it.
  • In one story of the Facing the Future Series, Danny and Sam comment that Tucker needs a girlfriend after he pulls a Moment Killer on them.
  • Naruto Potential Realised has a bit of fun with this trope:
    Naruto: So you're basically saying, that my getting laid can have a direct result on my performance on missions?
    Shizune: Yes. How do you think Jiraiya-sama is such a successful shinobi? It's a well known fact Jiraiya holds the current record of completing the most missions out of all Konoha shinobi.
    Naruto: You're fucking with me ain't ya?
    Shizune: No. But maybe someone ought to be.
  • In the RWBY fic Undercover Lover, police detective Ren thinks this about his boss, Pyrrha.
  • In Contract Labor, Kaolla Su, of all people, says that Naru and Motoko need to do "snu-snu" to alleviate their violent natures. Funnily, when Motoko gets to have sex, it really does help.
  • In Sekirei? Is that some new species of little sister?, Karasuba calms down considerably after having sex with Naruto after a big fight (for a few days anyway). Several characters find a mellowed-out Karasuba rather disturbing.
  • Zoë Heriot's friend Daenerys suggests this in the Doctor Who fanfic Girl of Her Dreams. Zoë'e not amused.
    Zoë: That's really helpful advice. Do you know how many times people have said that? Of course, when they say it they think they've done all the hard work and left the easy bit up to me. There are only eighteen people on this station, none of them are interested in me, so where am I going to find a date? Or were you offering?
  • Rainbow Dash says this to Twilight Sparkle in The Demesne Of The Reluctant Twilight Sparkle. Twilight denies it, but it helps explain both her fixation on Golden and her previously-and-then-never-again-implied attration to Big Mac.
  • The Ultimate Evil: When Shendu is in a foul mood for having to return Valerie to his enemies weeks ago, Ratso suggests him to get laid with one of the local señoritas. Shendu considers it, for he has done that many times with his concubines in the past. However, he ultimately doesn't do it because he can't find any of the women comparable to Valerie and realizes he has fallen for her so much that he no longer wants to have sex with anyone else.
  • When Human Twilight talks to Midnight Sparkle in Equestria Girls: Friendship Souls and asks her to not appear in such a suggestive outfit, Midnight snarkily replies back that she represents Twilight's primal and repressed urges and if she wants her to stop wearing such an outfit, she should stop spending so much time indoors with her science stuff out and go out to do this (or at least go get a vibrator, or even make one herself since she knows Twilight definitely could if she wanted to).
  • Empath: The Luckiest Smurf:
    • Papa Smurf gets this from his little Smurfs in the form of saying that he needs to have a female companion in the series. Not that he doesn't have a way to relieve himself of this kind of feeling, as he and his little Smurfs do have the Imaginarium to engage in seemingly realistic private fantasy settings.
    • In the story "Empath's Honeymoon", following witnessing the wedding of Empath and Smurfette, Duncan McSmurf tells Wild that what he needs is "a night in the Imaginarium" to get his mind off his troubles of never finding a Smurfette that he can be intimate with.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series: A constant Running Gag with Kaiba (yes, that one), often with other characters commenting on his obsessed and uptight nature. Even his own computer says it! Though as much as he loves that Blue-Eyes, he can't really get married to a trading card.
    Grampa: [after Kaiba fails to get the Blue-Eyes White Dragon] That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
    Tristan: Big time!

    Bakura: That Kaiba bloke needs to get shagged.
  • If one doesn't find Rational Fic tropes reasonable, this trope is a reasonable explanation for why Lelouch in Code Geass: The Prepared Rebellion is better adjusted and more stable during the events of R1 due to having sex with C.C early in story and continued to have it over the course of the series.
  • In Chapter 15 of The Command Quarters, Starscream says this word for word when Megatron complains about being able to feel when the Seeker self-services.
  • The Imperial Court from Impenetrable Walls really want for the Imperial Brother to mellow a bit, so the Emperor outright abducts said brother's secret crush in the streets and names him a concubine gifted to his sibling. To the Court's utter dismay, the concubine is a romantic asexual who believes he's only there to look pretty and the Imperial Brother is far too much of a gentleman to suggest that maybe, he would like to have sex.
  • In The Awakening of a Magus, after Harry literally jumps from being fifteen to being eighteen in a single moment, there is indeed a recommendation finding a partner might be beneficial for him.
  • In The Problem with Purity Snape has a stilted and acerbic exchange with Hermione.
    Harry: I know you've said it's unlikely Professor Snape could be passed off as a Pure Adult, but do you think we could just get him laid?
  • In The Students Plan two Gryffindor students decide that Snape might be more bearable if he were having sex with Harry.
  • Dolen Amser:
    Tonks: C'mon, you. Potions in twenty.
    Jim: Joy. Dunno what happened, but that man needs to get laid or something.
  • Momentary Weakness:
    • Nia has been in Aionios, away from her spouses, for hundreds if not thousands of years. Therefore, whenver she talks about them, she tends to go on random asides about how hot and sexy they are.
    • Played for Drama later. When Nia falls into a coma following the Intersection, her spouses decide to hold off on sexy times until she can join them. After a few weeks, their friends point out that the huge amount of stress from the whole situation is not being made any better by their chastity. They get back to a regular schedule, promising that once Nia wakes up they'll make up for it.
  • In The Last Straw when Snape's mood improves after Hari removes his Dark Mark, the most popular student rumor is that he acquired a lover.
  • In True Love's Kiss (and other fairytale nonsense) Harry is transfiguring himself in preparation for a cosplay event.
    Harry: I'm being a fae prince, Ron, of course I'm giving myself wings.
    Ron: Right, because I'm the one being unreasonable right now. Silly me. You need to get laid, mate.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • In Saw, Sing tells Tapp that "Maybe [he] should get [him]self a girlfriend" as the latter is hyperfocusing on the Jigsaw Killer's case.
  • Pretty much the underlying plot driver of every teen (or adult) sex comedy film, ever, particularly any dealing with a character seeking to lose his or her virginity.
  • In Babel, a Japanese deaf-mute girl named Chieko, after losing a volleyball match, gets this "suggestion" from a team-mate in order to end her bad mood. Chieko's response is priceless: "I'm gonna fuck your dad to get rid of my mood." And all of this in Japanese sign language, mind you.
  • In City of God, the cool-headed Benny tells his volatile friend Lil Z'e, "you need a girlfriend."
  • In Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, after Will Turner reveals that he made all the swords in the blacksmith's shop and constantly trains with them, Jack Sparrow quips that he needs a girlfriend. He later decides Will is a eunuch, and it becomes a Running Gag.
  • Dogma:
    • The opening, albeit with a lot more thought put into it than in most cases: "You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes."
    • And on the villains' side, when one of the sexless fallen angels is going on a rampage, "This is just eons of repression getting purged. If only they'd let us jerk off, you know?"
      "Our last week on earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid."
  • Robin Williams to the sergeant major in Good Morning, Vietnam, "You are in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history."
  • In the movie Little Big League, a 12-year-old inherits a pro baseball team. There's a scene in which, after he takes a bunch of crap from the players because he is a kid, he goes and gives the team a furious dressing down in which he reminds them that he is the boss and can fire every one of them. After he storms off one player turns to another and says "That kid needs a woman!"
  • Said by one of Andy's neighbors at the start of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. If it isn't obvious, it's pretty much Andy's goal throughout the movie, too (or at least it's everyone else's goal for him).
  • Lucy Diamond, the lesbian supervillain in the film D.E.B.S. is told outright by her comrade right at the start of the film that she's trying to take over the world, destroy Australia etc etc because she doesn't want to face her own intimacy issues. The entire basis of the film is what happens when he sets her up on a blind date with a lesbian Russian assassin.
  • Swingers is pretty much all about Trent trying to get Mike laid so he'll get over a breakup.
  • Similar to the show below, one of the lighter moments of The Last Airbender has Iroh suggest that Zuko meet a girl while in Fire Nation Colony 15.
  • Jason's parents to Jason in Mystery Team.
  • In American Beauty, Annette Bening's character notes to herself after she has sex, "That was exactly what I needed."
  • In Moon, Sam Bell says this to his computer companion, GERTY. "You think too much, pal. You need to get laid."
  • In Nobody's Fool, Paul Newman's character says to the officer giving him a ticket, "Boy, I hope you get laid sometime soon."
  • Gone with the Wind speaks of kissing but everyone can tell that's not what it's talking about.
    Rhett: You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.
  • In Love Me Tonight (1932), this is essentially the doctor's diagnosis for Princess Jeanette's fainting spells. In the cut that survives, he tells the family that she should be "married, to a man of her own age." Originally, he had a song in which he told Jeanette, "A peach must be eaten / A drum must be beaten / And a woman needs something like that." This was cut by the censors because it was considered too suggestive.
  • The romantic comedy ''Young People F**king" (a.k.a. YPF) has a female character attempting to start a "friends with benefits" relationship with a male buddy by uttering this trope by name after his girlfriend leaves him.
  • In The Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo tells Princess Leia "You could use a good kiss!" As with Gone with the Wind above, you can guess what this actually means.
  • In Hollywood Homicide, K.C. asks Gavilan when's the last time he got laid.
  • Implied in Notes on a Scandal where spinster Barbara expresses her jealousy of her friend Sheba and her own loneliness— ". . .to go so long without being touched that the accidental brush of a bus driver's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin." Later, during a confrontation between the two, Sheba tauntingly calls her a "bitter old virgin" and mocks Barbara's love for her— "You want to roll around on the floor like lovers? You want to fuck me, Barbara?"
  • In the Line of Fire: When Frank pries into Leary's motive for planning to kill the President during one of their phone conversations, Leary basically boils it down to doing it out of boredom. Frank sarcastically tells him he needs to get laid.
  • Princess Cyd: When Cyr learns it's been five years since Miranda got laid, she's comically aghast and tries to push a male friend of Miranda's into being with her. She even makes a rather snide remark about it later too, saying Miranda would probably eat less if she were getting some, but apologizes immediately after. Miranda tells her other things provide her fulfillment besides having sex, and it's dropped.
  • Voyage of the Rock Aliens has a third-person example. Diane tells Dee Dee that Frankie's jerkish behavior is because of his surging hormones, and that "It'll pass, in time, as he's allowed to release his frustrations, you know, sexually speaking." She tries to talk Dee Dee into having sex with Frankie, but she refuses.
  • Spice World: After their manager goes on a tirade about a new tabloid article the Spice Girls speculate that he's so stressed because he hasn't gotten any in a while.
  • In The Ref, while Lloyd and Caroline are at their marriage counselor, Lloyd mentions their son Jesse ran an escort service, and used Lloyd's mother's phone number as a reference, to which Caroline, who hates Lloyd's mother, snaps, "And I still say getting laid by an 18 year old is just what she needs!"
  • Dracula 2000. Mary Heller has been dreaming of Dracula even though she's never met him. Her roommate Lucy Westerman suggests that having "a man in your bed will get rid of the man in your head."

  • The Baroque Cycle: In the end of Quicksilver, Daniel Waterhouse is told by John Wilkins of the Royal Society "You need to tend to your own faults, young fellows: excessive sobriety... undue chastity. Let's back to the tavern!" They get him roaring drunk and cut out the bladder stone which is slowly killing him.
  • Played with in A Brother's Price. People comment that an unmarried woman the protagonist knows should have gone to the cribs long ago, as she is viewed as desperate for a husband. However, this is due to My Biological Clock Is Ticking - for some reason the people haven't figured out how to get pregnant without intercourse. Other women are said to "act like a cat in heat", implying that they want to get laid, but that's not considered a good thing; not for young women who still have a chance to marry a husband (who, unlike a crib captive, would be free of STD and therefore preferable).
  • In the prologue to Academ's Fury, of the Codex Alera series, a knight visiting the First Lord notes that the First Lord is looking haggard, and recommends, repeatedly, that he get himself a concubine or something to take the edge off.
  • Curse of the Wolfgirl gives us this wonderful soundbite between Malveria and Thrix:
    "Your body cries out for sex."
    "No it doesn't"
    "Well it should!"
  • In The Dinosaur Lords, Melodía is often told by other girls in her posse that the reason for her crankiness is that she doesn't have enough sex. Understandably, she's rather cranky at that notion, too.
  • Dragaera: At the beginning of Yendi, the second novel to be published, Loiosh says this to Vlad, which is very confusing to people who read the series in publication order since Vlad was happily married in Jhereg, and is a big hint that Yendi takes place before Jhereg.
  • The Dresden Files: In White Night, after the book's climax, Lara Raith, a White Court vampire, attempts to feed on Harry, but ends up getting burned by The Power of Love, which has been protecting Harry since his last encounter with his former girlfriend, four years previously. note  As soon as she realizes Harry is still protected, Lara remarks that while she immensely respects Harry, she finds a man as powerful and attractive as him not getting any for four years to be immensely sad.
  • Dr. Gideon Fell: In The Hollow Man, Fell recalls a time he was chairing a debate on women's rights:
    "... You were on the side for Women's Rights, Miss Grimaud, and against the Tyranny of Man. Yes, yes. You entered very pale and serious and solemn, and stayed like that until your own side began to present their case. They went on something awful, but you didn't look pleased. Then one lean female carried on for twenty minutes about what woman needed for an ideal state of existence, but you only seemed to get madder and madder. So when your turn came, all you did was rise to proclaim in silvery ringing tones that what woman needed for an ideal existence was less talking and more copulation. Or perhaps you didn't say copulation."
    • Later in the book, Fell's assistant suggests that she should have taken her own advice.
  • In Greg Bear's Eon, at one point one of the scientists investigates an asteroid confesses that he can't think clearly. One of his female colleagues suggests he needs to get laid. In a rare case for this trope, she proceeds to lock herself into the room with him, and undress.
  • The Epic of Gilgamesh: Really, that's Enkidu's whole problem. All alone in the woods all his life, no wonder he's cranky. Six days later, problem solved!
  • Frankenstein's Monster says if he can get laid by a mate of his own kind, he'll stop killing and get out of his maker's hair for good. Frankenstein starts creating a female so his creation can get laid, but then destroys it after pondering "What if she's worse, and their offspring are even more worse than them?" The fact that the Monster didn't say anything about reproducing never crossed his mind.
    • In the Sequel Series by Dean Koontz, the New Race (essentially version 2 or 3.0 that followed on from the monster) can get laid, but that's all they can do. They cannot feel intimacy (by design). It works about as well as you'd think.
  • Gentleman Bastard: In The Lies of Locke Lamora, the titular character is hopelessly in love with a woman who's a thousand miles away (and may or may not reciprocate), who he'd rather be miserable over than happy with anybody else—and that's a quote. Early on, two of his friends (read "adoptive family") tell him that he should just go to a brothel before he drives himself crazy. They almost come to blows over it.
    • Later in the novel, Locke finally decides to take his friends' advice... but he's still stuck on Her, and therefore he can't perform. He does get an excellent massage and some calming advice from a rather understanding prostitute, though.
  • What Sam Temple (GONE series) thinks his sanctimonious, holier than thou ass girlfriend needs in PLAGUE. She does not take it well, quite understandably.
  • In Harry Potter, when Ginny and Ron get into a fight about Ginny's dating life, she says:
    "If you went out and got a bit of snogging done yourself, you wouldn’t mind so much that everyone else does!”
  • In Heart In Hand, pretty much everyone thinks this about Darryl who's completely disinterested in flirting or hooking up with women and starts the story a virgin. Alex in particular tries to get Darryl's teammates to get him laid with a woman then, when that fails epically, decides that he can be the one to show Darryl how enjoyable sex can be.
  • Rob says this about Barry in High Fidelity: of the three people who work in the record store, Barry is easily the most obsessively nerdy (not to mention the loneliest).
  • Tanya Huff's Keepers Chronicles: In Summon the Keeper, the titular Keeper can't get anyone to believe that there's an imp making trouble in her boarding house. She finally has evidence when it writes on her mirror in lipstick, but when she realizes that it's written "Somebody needs to get laid" she can't bring herself to show it to her housemates. (One would have died of embarrassment, the others would have loudly agreed with the imp).
  • Lord Peter Wimsey: In Gaudy Night, after one of the faculty of the women's college makes a rather obnoxious speech and leaves, another one says, "I always thought it was a great pity she never married." The narrator remarked that she had a way of putting what everyone was thinking in terms a child could understand.
  • In the Night Huntress books, Bones gives the bigoted and tightly wound Justina a cynical look and says, "You're in desperate need of a good shag." Her daughter is too speechless to defend her... because she's often had the same thought about her mother.
  • Old Kingdom: After leaving the Clayr's Glacier, when Lirael tells the Disreputable Dog that she has to find a man (a specific missing person who's got himself caught up in the villains' plot), the Dog immediately responds "Good! Time you were bred!", to Lirael's considerable embarrassment.
  • Pride and Prejudice: Mr. Collins cannot emphasize enough to the Bennets the urgency with which Lady Catherine insisted he get married.... We later see that he is not one bit less obnoxious after he has married and there is a child on the way.
  • In Mercedes Lackey's Sacred Ground, the protagonist's grandfather reminds her of the importance of the "Osage blanket ritual" to relieve stress. A few chapters later, she decides to take the advice.
  • Zavahl, former Hierarch of Callisoria in Maggie Furey's Shadowleague trilogy, experiences a complete change of personality after finally getting laid.
  • A Song of Ice and Fire: Tyrion Lannister has this opinion of his nephew King Joffrey. At one point, he actually discusses options with his adviser to get Joffrey away from his bodyguard so they can take him to a brothel (whether or not he's serious is anyone's guess).
  • During the "off again" phases of the "on again, off again" relationship between Stephanie Plum and sometime boyfriend Morelli, Lula frequently complains that Stephanie is a lot easier to get along with during the "on again" phases than during dry spells.
  • Towards the end of Eclipse, Bella Swan from The Twilight Saga gets rather desperate for some action with Edward. When they finally satisfy that need in Breaking Dawn, Edward notes that it seemed that sex was the key to getting her to be agreeable...
  • In the Twin Peaks Tie-In Novel The Autobiography of F.B.I. Special Agent Dale Cooper, at one point while in college, a friend tells the tightly-wound Cooper that he "needs to get laid in the worst way." The friend then goes on a date that ends with him in the hospital in a full-body cast. Cooper then comments in his diary this must be the worst way to get laid.
  • Videssos: A passing bit of humor in The Legion of Videssos has an ascetic monk lambasting a Haloga mercenary who's celebrating the midwinter festival with a whore — but the monk describes the temptations of the whore in such terms that the mercenary responds that the monk clearly needs her services worse than he does.
  • Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan Saga:
    • Near the beginning of Brothers in Arms, Elli tells Miles "I don't think I've ever seen a human being who needs to get laid worse than you do right now." The Unresolved Sexual Tension between them means he's not sure if she's coming on to him or just giving him advice...
    • Barrayar: "Cordelia pictured some under-staffer confiding to Kou: 'Yeah, let's let the Old Man get laid, maybe he'll mellow out...'"
    • A Civil Campaign. The entire main cast know that they all need to get laid, but knowing that doesn't help matters one bit. Plus, apparently having your staff want your sex life to improve for their sake is hereditary to Vorkosigans: Kareen imagines a similar line about the Old Man's son, "For God's sake, can't somebody please get the little git laid, before he drives us all as crazy as he is?" And then there's "What sex? There hasn't been any sex. Dammit. Or this would all seem a great deal more worthwhile. I haven't gotten to kiss the woman yet!"
  • Several people in The Wheel of Time series have this view about the Whitecloaks. From Towers of Midnight, chapter 30:
    "The Whitecloaks are a tight-lipped group, my Lady, but they are still men. Men who haven't seen a woman in a while, I think. That always makes them lose what few brains they have."
  • In The Wise Man's Fear Elodin says this to one of his students after the latter tells him a long and complex bit of trivia:
    "Uresh. Your next assignment is to have sex. If you do not know how to do this, see me after class."
  • In The Witchlands, Kullen advises Merik to take a tumble between the sheets in order to ease some of his tension. Merik replies that: a) he's got a lot to be stressed about, and b) there isn't a girl willing to tumble with him. Kullen, who has noticed the tension brewing between Merik and Safi, bursts into laughter at his best friend's obliviousness and proceeds to inform him of the obvious.

    Live-Action TV 
  • In the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode "Repairs", Skye comments to Ward that May needs to get laid. Ward manages to hide his reaction, based on the fact that they were shown having sex earlier in the episode.
  • Angel. Cordelia Chase comments that if it were anyone other than the title character, she would say he needed to get laid. Unfortunately the last time Angel got laid he turned into his evil Angelus self. In the following episode however, Angel has sex with Darla and rather than turning evil, overcomes his Despair Event Horizon and gets back together with his friends. This is because a release of sexual and emotional tension doesn't necessarily equal the "moment of perfect happiness" needed to remove Angel's gypsy-cursed soul.
    Gunn: So, you had an epiphany, did you? So, what you just wake up and 'bang'?
    Angel: (smirking) Well, it was sort of the other way around.
  • Arrow. On Oliver Queen's return to Starling City after being Lost at Sea, his best friend Tommy Merlyn points out that he hasn't gotten laid in five years and suggests they celebrate by eating sushi off a couple of models (unfortunately a gang of kidnappers interrupt this plan). In a deleted scene, Oliver uses this trope as an excuse for why he ditched John Diggle so he could carry out his vigilante activities. Later in the season Thea Queen notes that her brother seems lonely despite his hedonistic façade and suggests he might find someone to confide in, so Oliver starts a relationship with Huntress, who makes a point of thanking Oliver the morning after, implying she's just as desperate for physical and emotional love as he is.
  • Babylon 5: In "Rumors Bargains and Lies", Sheridan is sitting off to his side in the dining room, giggling manically to himself while the rest of the crew observes during the breakfast. They figure that he's acting like that because Delenn has been away for a few days, and figure he's just gonna get worse.
  • Mitchell does this to George in the first few episodes of Being Human upon learning he hasn't had sex since his transformation into a werewolf over two years ago.
  • A subplot in the fifth season of Bones involved Angela attempting to remain celibate for 6 months, thinking that she needs to connect to people in a non-sexual way. She becomes increasingly erratic, to the point where, in the episode "The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken" she becomes obsessed with saving a baby piglet from being slaughtered for meat. Team psychiatrist Sweets finally tells her that her perspective is becoming skewed and advises that she should cancel her celibacy experiment.
  • In Brooklyn Nine-Nine, during the episode "Skyfire Cycle", Captain Holt is quite cranky since he and his husband Kevin are trying to solve the Monty Hall problem. While Amy is ecstatic to help him on the numbers side, Rosa feels it's this trope and they just need to have some time together. By the end of the episode, it turns out Rosa was right.
  • On BBC Panel Show The Bubble, one of the subjects was a news story about a cat head inside a tin of cat food, leading to this exchange between Reginald Hunter and David Mitchell:
    Reginald: It's like the godfather cat was sending a message.
    David: It wouldn't be the godfather cat though, would it? Because the godfather sends horses' heads. So it would have to be the godfather of an organism to whom their horses are like our cats.
    Reginald: After the show, let's get you a girlfriend.
    • Made more Hilarious in Hindsight by the fact that David Mitchell's future wife, Victoria Coren, was sitting right next to him. They began dating about a year after the show.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    • In Season One, Buffy is complaining about Giles' British Stuffiness and objection to her taking up cheerleading. "I'd say he should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old!"
    • In the season 2 finale, Principal Snyder finds Buffy in the middle of a crime scene, and expels her. After she pulls out a giant sword, Buffy subtly insinuates this to Snyder. In fact, most of the show's human villains are defined by their frustrated libido and failed manhood.
      Buffy: You never got a single date in high school, did you?
      Snyder: Your point being?
    • In Season 5, Glory is torturing a member of the Knights of Byzantium who refuses to talk.
      Glory: What is it with you religious types? It's intimacy, isn't it? Oh, you're just scared of letting someone in! [circles around him, hugging him and rubbing his chest] Shh, shh,'s okay. I know how difficult the first time can be.
    • Used for Dramatic Irony when Buffy turns invisible in season 6, Xander goes to Spike to discuss the situation and walks in on them having sex. Spike claims he's "exercising".
      Xander: Exercising...butt bed. You know, jokes aside, you really should get a girlfriend.
    • Then there's the time Andrew freaks out over Willow wanting to kill him to Xander and Anya. They're not sympathetic, and the numerous Star Wars references do not help:
      Xander: You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
    • A variation during the final conflict of Season 6. Dark Willow says "Oh Buffy. You really need to have every square inch of your ass kicked", but says it in the same way someone might say "You need to get laid."
  • In Carnivàle, Stumpy tells Jonesy that he needs to get laid, then tells him a story about a man he knew whose testicle exploded with a "pop" after he didn't have sex for two years.
  • In the Charmed episode "Sight Unseen", Piper's response to Prue's obsession with catching the Triad is "We really need to get her laid, huh?"
    • In the pilot episode Piper and Phoebe are messing around with their ouija board. Piper claims she was asking whether "Prue would have sex with someone other than herself this year".
      Phoebe: That's disgusting! (quietly to the board) Please say "yes".
  • Cheers:
    • Sam's opinion when he hears Rebecca hasn't had sex in at least two years.
    • Frasier, denied sex by Lilith, starts to get increasingly weird, even finding wine glasses arousing (it's the curves), much to the alarm of everyone else in the bar.
      Norm: Boy, he's really not getting any.
    • When Woody reunites with an old girlfriend from his hometown, the reason they split up reappeares to: they overeat tremendously when they're together. Frasier eventually concludes that the reason they're overeating is that they're suppressing their sexual desire for each other and their appetite for food will return to normal if they have sex. They take his advice, and their binge eating problem goes away.
  • Used indirectly in The Closer; a US army major, after dealing with Brenda, remarks that she needs to get laid. While in her murder room, to her husband. He naturally replies that that's not what's wrong with her.
  • Control Z: Lampshaded in 1.01. Isabela and Natalia think that the new kid, Javier Williams, is way out of Sofía's league due to her being a "freak" when they sit together for an assembly. María, however, takes pity on her, suggesting that it'd be something for her to flirt with someone as she is always alone, only for her friends to dismiss this opinion as "nonsense". Later on, Sofía does get laid, not once but twice, although with Raúl instead of Javier himself.
  • Nick Stokes on CSI is a serial offender, both times played with.
    • He tells nerdy lab tech Archie "You need to get laid" only for Archie to reply, "You first!" as Nick wasn't getting any more than Archie was.
    • Nick once told assistant coroner David that he needed a girlfriend, only to have David reply "I'm engaged—but thank you."
  • Daredevil (2015). When Matt Murdock mentions how his instructor Stick told him to avoid emotional attachments as they made him weak, Sister Maggie snidely remarks that he should have gotten laid. Given that it's a nun saying this, Matt finds the comment Actually Pretty Funny.
  • Death in Paradise: At the end of "The Complex Murder", Dwayne tells Humphrey that he doesn't need a boat, he needs a girlfriend.
  • Desperate Housewives has an episode where Lynnette, having difficulties to deal with her Mean Boss, Nina, eventually decides to take out for drinks to see if getting Nina's mind off the job for a few hours will help her relax. After flirting with a guy at the bar, we see Nina arriving at the office the next day with the same clothes and an incredibly positive attitude.
  • Doctor Who:
  • Sherlock gives this advice to Joan in the second episode of Elementary.
  • In Emily Owens, M.D., several people think that Emily needs casual sex to relieve stress.
  • Farscape: When Crichton's wormhole-controlling-block stops him from fixing the problem in the series finale, Chiana invokes this trope:
    Chiana: Sex does it.
    D'Argo: For you.
    Chiana: For everyone. Sex.
    John: With you? Or with him?
    Chiana: Whatever.
  • Frasier: This strikes all of the cast members at least once in the series.
    • Frasier tends to suffer this the entire series. In the appropriately named episode "Frasier Gotta Have It", when he earns a sexual fling with nutty artist Caitlin, Roz asks him an important question:
      Roz: For as long as I've known you, you've been complaining about your lack of a sex life. Suddenly, you have one. So why are you still complaining?
    • Niles in "Look Before You Leap" is tantalized by Maris' rare offer of sex that he starts hitting on every female he sees, including Roz.
      Frasier: It’s high time you and Maris sat down and talked through your problems.
      Niles: (excited) She doesn’t want to talk. When she says “get together” she means in the “You wear the crème fraiche, I’ll lick it off” sense. She’s cleared her schedule from seven till seven-thirty, that means foreplay AND cuddling!
    • Roz in "Crock Tales" bemoans her lack of a sex life.
      Roz: Used to be I’d go out and get a little wild on my birthday. Now I go out and get a little dinner.
      Frasier: There’s nothing wrong with dinner.
      Roz: I know, but it used to come with sex.
      Daphne: Oh, come on, Roz, sounds like you need a drink.
      Roz: Oh, that used to come with sex, too.
    • Daphne has a ton of dry spells; once it was the plot to "The Matchmaker", in which Frasier connives to introduce her to the new KACL station owner, who, unbeknownst to Frasier or Daphne, is gay. In another episode Sherry, Martin's girlfriend, tells Daphne she'd be less irritable if "you didn't wake up on the wrong side of no-one". Daphne is angered by this but eventually admits to Niles that Sherry may have had a point.
    • Inverted in one episode where Frasier has for once cheerfully accepted being single and just decided to roll with it for a while... prompting everyone else to decide they need to set him up out of concern. Their efforts inevitably just make things worse, but he ends up meeting a nice lady (ironically the woman Niles tried to set him up with) completely by accident.
  • The early The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode "Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy" includes this this in regards to an old friend from the streets of Will's who drops by and falls for Hillary, lessening her snobby attitude.
    Will: Ya see? I remember when Hilary used to walk around the house all sour and stuff. It's like I always said, "That girl just needs a good fu-riend," Aunt Viv.
    • Another episode has Will asking Geoffrey if he's brought in the mail; when Geoffrey replies sarcastically that he's saving that for later on, lest he get too giddy from 'scrubbing the john', Will responds, "You know, you really need a woman, G."
      Geoffrey: What's a woman?
      Will: ...I'll get the mail.
  • In one episode of Friends, Ross and Chandler are being bullied by some guys who told them to stay from the coffee shop. Eventually Ross says that they need to stand up for themselves, if it means getting beaten up, then he says it'll be "like a rite of passage." Chandler responds that if it's about a rite of passage, he instead suggests: "how about losing our virginities again, because I think mine's growing back."
  • Game of Thrones: Tyrion and Bronn think this might help smooth out some of Joffrey's "rough edges," at least temporarily. Unlike their book counterparts, they send a couple of prostitutes to Joffrey's bed chamber as a birthday present since Joffrey is a late teenager. Unfortunately, they didn't count on Joffrey's taste for violence extending to sex (though his actions are at least partly motivated by his resentment of Tyrion, giver of the gift).
    Bronn: There's no cure for bein' a cunt. But the boy's at that age, he's got nothing to do save tear wings off flies. Couldn't hurt to get some of the poison out.
  • An interesting variation happens in an episode of Glee. Those of the boys who have girlfriends who won't sleep with them figure out that using mental images of their football coach is a very effective way of cooling down when making out. Of course, Coach Beiste finds out about it, and gets so upset that she quits her job (turns out she is really insecure about her looks). In the resulting discussion about how the guys didn't mean to upset her, in fact they like her and she basically saved the football team from failure and humiliation, Santana comes to the conclusion that if everyone would just get laid, the school would have a winning football team.
  • In the Gotham episode "The Fearsome Dr Crane", when Bullock learns that Gordon is in a relationship with Dr Tompkins, he comments that if this is what Jim's like when he is getting laid, he'd hate to see what he's like when he isn't.
  • Season three House episode "The Jerk" has its unlikeable teenaged patient delivering a rather eloquent version of this trope, telling his mother: "Get yourself coited."
  • Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother believes that every international conflict boils down to sexual tension. Crisis in the Middle East? Gaza Strippers! Apartheid? Apart thighs! The Cold War? Mr. Gorbachev, take down those pants!
  • In an episode of JAG Commander Rabb tells Commander Turner that the sooner Turner gets with somebody, the sooner he'll lighten up.
  • An episode of M*A*S*H had half the camp desperate to get Margaret to Tokyo and her new husband, because she was making everyone miserable. And upon returning was sweet and peaceful as a dove, to the point of ignoring insults from Hawkeye and BJ;
    "She's no fun when Donald is relaxed!"
  • Modern Men: Victoria the therapist says this word for word to Doug. Turns out to be a Batman Gambit; she just wanted him to get out of his own head by focusing on hooking up, and he forms a real connection with a woman instead.
  • In Mr. Robot, Leon makes this observation about Elliot, saying he's "wound tighter than a chinchilla's asshole", although he doesn't say it to Elliot's face.
  • September 30, 2009, Chris Rock appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show promoting a new movie that promised to reveal the "secrets" of African-American women's hair. Viewers were not happy. When he re-appeared on the show he was read a letter from "Shirley" with the following excerpts: "It is not necessary to let every white woman know all that we do to compete and be accepted today." "White women know black men love to run their hands through silky smooth hair, and they will use this knowledge to take our men." His response "Shirley Shirley Shirley... Shirley needs a man!"
  • Primeval:
    Connor: Becker is really not gonna be happy with you.
    Danny: Why?
    Connor: That was his favorite gun.
    Danny: We need to get him a girlfriend.
  • Proven Innocent: In the second episode, Violet forces Madeline to go on a date in the hopes that it will make her less high-strung.
  • Kochanski to Rimmer in Red Dwarf, after Rimmer, with great pride, demonstrates his proposed new Space Corps salute.
    "Rimmer, have sex with someone. And that's an order."
  • Rizzoli & Isles: Frost says this to Korsak after Korsak geeks out over a victim's expensive sailboat.
  • In one episode of Scrubs, after Carla and Turk discover J.D. is staring at them making out, Carla, word-for-word, asks J.D., "When's the last time you got laid?"
    • There's another incident where J.D. and the "loneliest guy in this hospital" (yes that's his name) brush shoulders in a doorway and purr in ectasy like it's the only human contact they've had ever before walking off in two directions.
    • Dr. Kelso's wife only lets him have sex with her one night a year, which turns him from Mean Boss to Benevolent Boss for a whole day afterwards and makes him willing to approve just about any request made by the hospital staff, implying that the reason for his usual meanness is not getting laid. It turns out that this was all a ruse by him so that nobody bothers him with requests the rest of the year. How often he actually gets laid is unknown.
  • In Season 1 of Schitt's Creek Jocelyn is paired up with the anxiety-ridden David during a partner's yoga class, and after noticing the tension in David's body, the down-home, sweet Jocelyn strongly suggests David needs to get laid.
  • In season 2 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Bambi, Belle's protegee, says this to her, despite the fact that she's working as a prostitute, with the implication being that she needs to get laid in a non-professional capacity.
  • In an episode of Selfie, Eliza feels this way about Henry, saying "Somebody needs to get laid" after he reprimands her again about not working at work. She and Charmonique then try to fix him up so he'll be less cranky. It doesn't go well, and at one point while trying to give Henry tips, he thinks Eliza is coming on to him and responds, almost kissing her and making things awkward.
  • Star Trek: Enterprise:
    • In the episode "A Night In Sickbay", Phlox questions whether his dog's illness is what's really bothering Captain Archer, and asks him, "How long has it been since you were intimate with a woman?"
    • The opening scene of "Fallen Hero" has T'Pol recommending shore leave on Risa, because crew efficiency has gone down 3% due to a lack of sexual activity. On the other hand, the sexual tension could be caused by a certain Vulcan walking around in her catsuit.
  • In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Captain's Holiday", Riker sends this message to Picard: he asks Picard to buy him a Horga'hn statuette, but "forgets" to mention that displaying it indicates that one is the in the market for "jamaharon". Unfortunately, his scheme is foiled when Picard proves that, even on Risa, it's possible to avoid having sex if you just act surly enough.
  • Supernatural: Dean realizes Cas is a virgin the night before they are to confront a powerful archangel who will probably kill Cas. Dean makes it his mission to get Cas laid.

  • Franco De Vita: The theme of "Traigo una pena" (I'm In A Rut). Franco roleplays as a sexually frustrated man who needs to satiate his needs after a long-term abstention, but his wife is not in the mood for that. So he looks for... external sources. He asks several of his friends (who are actually played by other musicians, making this song a collab) for advice, but none of them are able to help him. He then resorts to asks the wife's best friend to sleep with him, but she feels that doing so would be a betrayal for her BFF. The song ends with the poor man being (metaphorically, not literally) screwed.

    Myths & Religion 
  • St. Paul proclaims in 1st Corinthians 7:9 "it is better to marry than to burn with passion", implying most people really are not meant for celibacy (even though Paul believed that, all else being equal, celibacy was superior because it allowed one to focus on following the Lord and not on pleasing a spouse).

    Professional Wrestling 
  • After listening to the motive rants of LuFisto, Andrea, Amber O'Neal and Kennadi Brink as they came together to form C4, Allysin Kay challenged them to try and take their frustrations out on her, but implied they'd get more satisfaction out of getting laid rather than being laid out.

  • In Gypsy, June and Louise both sing "If Mama Was Married," which is basically them dreaming about what life would be like if their Stage Mom would stay married, calm down, and leave them be.
  • Toward the end of Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick, having finally surrendered to marrying Beatrice, turns to Don Pedro (who engineered the match) and quips, "Prince, thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife."
    • As catalogued in Get Thee to a Nunnery, Shakespeare used lines like this quite often in his plays, but language has changed since then.
  • In One Touch of Venus, when Molly spots Savory sulking, she advises him: "A girl on the couch is worth two on the mind!"
  • In 1776, Jefferson doesn't want to draft the Declaration of Independence because it's preventing him from visiting his wife at home. Adams—who has been crabby and obnoxious the whole time—responds that he happens to miss his own wife very much, but "life is more than sexual combustibility." Even so, he quietly sends for Martha Jefferson to cure Thomas's Writer's Block and sure enough after they spend the day, and the night, and then most of the next day together, the Declaration is ready.note 
  • Pippin has Berthe, the title character's sassy grandmother. She remarks that Pippin looks terrible, and recommends natural cures: "some fresh air, some sun, some good food...a little frolicking?" After saying that she herself needs to get some action ("I know what I need, Pippin"), Berthe proceeds to criticize men and their sex drives by claiming that this trope is the reason for every war in history: "Sometimes I think men raise flags when they can't get anything else up!"

    Video Games 
  • In Final Fantasy V, a milder variation occurs in Gilgamesh's Final Speech:
    Gilgamesh: And you, Faris! You must fall in love, or something, and try to act a little like a woman — if you still know how!
  • The Ant uses the E-rated version ("We've got to get this guy a girlfriend") towards Tombstone in Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich. Of course, Tombstone is dead, having been falsely accused for the murder of his wife and executed in the electric chair, only to be resurrected as a wrathful specter by a dose of Energy X.
  • Grand Theft Auto IV: Niko Bellic tells the creepy, sadistic serial killer and rapist Eddie Low that he needs to get laid. He just has... a dead jogger down by the docks. Squick.
  • This is Sandra's solution to pretty much every problem Phoenix tells her in Culpa Innata. Phoenix doesn't always disagree. This is a Free-Love Future, after all. Marriage is eliminated in the World Union, and immigrants are cautioned never to expect faithfulness from their sexual partners.
  • Keiji from Sengoku Basara enjoys teasing Chaste Hero Yukimura about his non-existent love life. By the third game, however, Keiji flat out tells Yukimura he should settle down and get married already. (Note that Yukimura is only 17.)
  • In Saints Row: The Third, the Protagonist tells Kinzie that s/he is liking the new Remote Control Gun that she has made. When she tells the Protagonist that she got bored and threw it together one night, the Protagonist says exactly this to her. Her response? Electronics are good for that too.
  • Mass Effect 2: If you end a conversation with Aria T’Loak without asking her about herself, she’ll retort as follows
    ”Why don’t you find yourself a nice guy/girl to keep you warm in the meantime? You need to loosen up!”

  • Mass Effect 3: Shepard can tell an un-romanced Garrus that he really needs a date, before serving as wingman. Since Garrus thinks "Come here often? I imagine anyone who does is probably an alcoholic" is the ultimate in pick-up lines, Shepard's services are badly needed.
  • In Dragon Age: Inquisition, the mercenary Iron Bull hires a prostitute named Candy for the mind-reading spirit Cole that defines itself by healing everyone's pain. Cole dances with her, then helps her work through her anger with her mother and send her a letter. She lets him use her real name as a result since it no longer pains her. Presumably, Cole has no idea as to what you're supposed to do after hiring a prostitute. Given what Solas says about how sex with spirits tends to attract demons, it's probably best that Iron Bull's plan failed.
    The Iron Bull: Well, THAT'S five sovs well spent...
  • Used by older Neptune in Megadimension Neptunia VII, to Arfoire, elegantly combining the running gags of getting her name wrong and calling her out as an Old Maid:
    Older Neptune: : Ar-fjord? Why does anyone call you that? I don't think anyone's sailed up that inlet in over a millennia. I'd blame your wardrobe.
  • One in-game book in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Ahzirr Traajijazeri, is an examination of the Khajit view on life. Partway through, it informs the reader that if they haven't gotten laid recently, they should put the book down and go take care of that.
  • Said almost word-for-word early in the first No One Lives Forever. The first part of the East Berlin level involves Cate having to go through Spy Speak exchanges with four contacts - each of which consists of them hitting on her, to which she blows them off by threatening violence. The first contact you can see from the starting point then asks who came up with such ghastly phrases, to which Cate says that it's someone in cryptography who's "in need of a girlfriend, apparently".
  • In the Monster Hunter series there is the Black Diablos, which is a black-scaled version of the monster Diablos that is extremely aggressive and easily enraged for a monster that is already aggressive and easily enraged. Turns out the Black Diablos is just an otherwise normal female Diablos that has gone into heat.

    Web Animation 
  • Les Kassos: The social worker's conclusion about the "Yu Gi Uno" youths (parodying the Yu-Gi-Oh! cast) is that they need to give up playing their card game and start looking for girlfriends. They annoy her so much that she finally calls on Lovable Sex Maniac Sandy (who is happy to help).
  • Strong Bad Email: In "studying", Strong Bad calls the sender Roy a "dork-on" for turning down the chance to get to "first, second, or quite possibly even third base" with his girlfriend in favor of studying.

  • For a brief while, this was a joke concerning Emily on the Misfile forums. This became Harsher in Hindsight when it was later revealed that she had already had sex before.
  • The Order of the Stick:
    • The "Treasure Type O" quote is spoken to Miko Miyazaki, after she takes her Knight Templar-ness to Lawful Stupid levels and falls as a result of killing Lord Shojo.
    • This seems to be the fan consensus on Redcloak, the Big Bad's Dragon. Redcloak's brother tries to arrange a date for him in Start Of Darkness, which didn't work. Right-eye seemed to hope that hooking Redcloak up with a nice, intelligent goblin chick would encourage him to settle down and focus more on living a normal life than building the goblin utopia. Redcloak's problem isn't so much sexual frustration as not being able to admit his mistakes combined with the magical cloak he wears having stopped him from aging since he first put it on (which means that he's been stuck as an angry teenager for decades and never matured emotionally). One of the things driving his inexcusable behavior was his dedication to "the Plan."
      Xykon: You'll obey me forever now, because I give you an excuse for your inexcusable behavior.
    • Although, he was actually considering it after he and Right-Eye break the Monster in the Dark out of a circus... it just gets derailed when Xykon shows up and gets him focused on the Plan again.
  • Questionable Content: It really does help.
    Faye: I like plottin' downfalls. They make me feel... tingly.
    Dora: We have GOT to get you laid.
  • Girl Genius:
    • This is implied to be part of Gil's ever increasing stress. Of course, trying to balance the needs and desires of his love interest and his father, dealing with the Jagers, and taking on an entire army of Steampunk Spider Tanks also contribute to his blood pressure.
    • Inverted here, when the baron suggest Gil has to marry so he stops sleeping with any willing woman he encounters.
    • In the Cinderella theater break, Zeetha tells Agatha "We'd better get you playing with the princes' tool belts quick". Agatha is more excited by the straight sense than she would have been if she understood what it meant.
  • Shortpacked! suggests that all of the problems in Star Wars could have been avoided if more of the characters had got laid. The trope is also applied to at least one of the actual cast members on occasion.
  • Viciously parodied here.
  • Least I Could Do: "...and that's when I bought the horse a prostitute."
  • In The Dreamer, Alan gets told this by Col. Knowlton, and even gets furlough papers so he can marry Beatrice.
  • In Arthur, King of Time and Space, Croisette says this to Lancelot. note 
  • Kaley gets this a bunch at the beginning of Geminni.
  • The trope is subverted by Ménage à 3. At the start, virgin geek Gary wants to get laid, and his friends generally agree that, sure, that'd be good for him — though they tend to have their own ideas about who and how. Then, after hundreds of strips, Gary gets laid. It introduces a whole new set of plotlines and a list of women willing and eager to bang him but, as you'd realistically expect, losing his virginity doesn't mean he instantly gains much in the way of self-confidence or social skills. He has to work on that for the the rest of the comic's run.
  • Sticky Dilly Buns has this as something of a recurrent (if not always fully stated) theme:
    • Early on, Amber is sympathetic to Dillon's quest for a boyfriend. (And although sex isn't mentioned as such there, this is a Sex Comedy, so it can be taken as read.)
    • More explicitly, Chanelle notes that the unattached Ambernote  herself must be "craving".
    • Both Amber and Dillon seem to think this with regard to the virginal Ruby, who presents as a career-focused neurotic stressed-out Sour Prude, although neither initially puts it in such blunt terms. Amber seems to understand just enough about her sister's emotions and attitudes that she doesn't push the point, while Dillon is too much of a camp romantic to be too crude about it. Both think that Ruby getting a date is a good thing, though, and later, when she flares up at both of them after failing to sleep with her boyfriend, they both explicitly conclude that she needs to get laid. Which may or may not be over-simplifying the complexities of Ruby's issues.
  • In When She Was Bad, Anna says this to Villain Protagonist Gail. Gail actually agrees with her.
  • Subverted in Full Frontal Nerdity, here.
    Nelson: He so needs a girlfriend.
    Shawn: So he might be a little more stable?
    Nelson: So he'd be someone else's problem.
  • In El Goonish Shive, Justin invokes this on himself here.
  • Between Failures: Thomas to Nina in this comic. It's downplayed as Nina is not all that repressed and is actually quite cheerful and nice. But she DOES seem to have an unhealthy interest in the relationship of her two best friends (especially since she was the one who kept trying to get them together even before it happened.)

    Web Original 

    Web Videos 
  • The Spoony Experiment: Spoony says it about himself after he acts out a battle between Hal Jordan, Conan the Cimmerian, and a giant Dizzy Gillespie using toys, all in response to a really boring computer game.
  • Atop the Fourth Wall:
    • Linkara mentioned this trope during his Ultimates 3 review, before mentioning that he thinks the Ultimates actually need to stop getting laid — it never seems to end well for them.
    • Upon seeing that the backup bridge of Comicron 1 is a dead-ringer for the original Enterprise, Jaeris informs Linkara to "Let me know when you get a girlfriend. I'll throw you a parade."
  • The Nostalgia Critic:
    • While watching Ernest Saves Christmas, there's a scene where Ernest P. Worrell makes disturbing facial expressions while describing a bizarre incident from his childhood. The Critic's response is to suggest that Ernest... well... you know what page you're on.
    • Not to mention the time he claimed the entire movie of Sidekicks needed to get laid.
  • A Dose of Buckley: Buckley receives this as one of his hate comments in his "The Ten Worst Songs" series, and he explains why "You need to get laid" is not a valid argument.
  • CJ DaChamp: In "Revy's Hood Safari", this is Revy's initial assessment of Rock. She says though she's only known him for six hours, "I know you get no hoes".
  • Joel says it about himself during his Genocide run of Undertale after ranting about the inaccuracies of a Jotoro vs Kensiro video.

    Western Animation 
  • Celebrity Deathmatch: Fabio tells Bono "You need to get laid, my friend."
  • In Family Guy:
    • In the episode "To Love and Die in Dixie", Stewie says about Meg: "She needs to get laid, big time." Given that the line came on the heels of Meg talking about her imaginary boyfriend and the various gifts he gave her before running off in tears... yeah, pretty accurate assessment.
    • In "Leggo my Meg-O", when Meg goes to Paris, Stewie says to her: "Don't worry about me, just get yourself laid."
  • In an episode of Aladdin: The Series, Aladdin says that Mozenrath "needs a girlfriend."
  • The Simpsons:
    • "He really needs a girlfriend." spoken by Moe of Barney after the latter goes especially bonkers in a parody of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
    • In "You Kent Always Say What You Want", Ned Flanders is watching TV just for the sake of finding offensive things to complain about, and sees Kent Brockman's earlier broadcast (where he swore on the air) and the following conversation ensues:
      Rod Flanders: What are you doing, daddy?
      Ned Flanders: Imploring people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody even saw! That's what I'm doing!
      (Rod and Todd exchange a worried look)
      Rod Flanders: Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.
      Ned Flanders: First things first!
    • In "Homer Alone," the power plant employees watch a news report about a beleaguered housewife who's parked her car on the Springfield bridge and refuses to budge. Homer quips, "Hey, sweetheart, what's the matter? Not getting enough of the good stuff at home?" Three guesses whose wife she is.
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender:
    • Katara tells Sokka that he "wouldn't be so bossy if [he] kissed a girl."
    • Iroh likewise suggest that Zuko needs to pick up a chick on more than one occasion.
      • Azula even comments that Mai has been in a surprisingly good mood ever since she and Zuko rekindled their romance.
  • In one scene in The Critic Jay and Marty are in a lab that tests makeup on animals, and Jay looks at a rabbit wearing makeup and says in a very flirty tone, "Well hello, you wascawwy wabbit." Marty pulls him away and says, "Dad, you gotta start dating!"
  • Steven Universe: Garnet to Jasper during their knock-down drag-out fist fight. Jasper had been mocking her for being a fusion so it's pretty effective.
    Garnet: I can see you hate the way we intermingle,
    But I think that you're just mad because you're single.
  • Animaniacs: from the Slappy Squirrel short "Bumbie's Mom":
    Rude Woman: What is that child's problem?
    Slappy Squirrel: Me, and in about two seconds, you're going to share that problem.
    Rude Woman: Well, I never!
    Slappy Squirrel: Well, you should, it's fun.
  • In the Tuca & Bertie episode "The Deli Guy". Bertie lays out an extremely lewd fantasy, causing Tuca to call her "horny as shit". Bertie then reveals that she is sexually active with her boyfriend, but it's just really boring.


Video Example(s):


Gone So Long Without Dick

When Lila calls Jaune to tell her that Bob Velseb is back to kill her, Jaune mistakes her phone call as Lila finding a new dating partner, which she congratulates her on, saying that she's gone so long without any dick. Though, Lila cuts her off before Jaune can finish her sentence.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (2 votes)

Example of:

Main / YouNeedToGetLaid

Media sources: