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Last-Second Word Swap

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"[You] handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual — that's to say, you handled it fairly well."
Sherlock Holmes (speaking to Lestrade), The Adventure of the Empty House

The character was going to say one thing. At the last second, someone else comes into the room, or they just think better of it, and the character is forced to say something else. Last-Second Word Swap can be Played for Laughs or Played for Drama when a character quickly finds themself in a stressful or unexpected position.

Compare Curse Cut Short (where another character or outside circumstance cuts off the word), Right Behind Me (where someone else is listening without the character's knowledge), and Verbal Backspace (where the character doesn't quite catch himself in time and revises a statement after blurting it out). Contrast with Unusual Euphemism. Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion is a subtrope; before adding an example here, make sure it doesn't belong there. Contrast with Bait-and-Switch Comment, where the sudden swerve was intended from the beginning. See also Sue Donym.

Sister Trope to Lame Rhyme Dodge. Compare with Lyric Swap.

Sometimes done to avert a Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick by omitting the last phrase and repeating the second-last, resulting in the listener Comically Missing the Point. See also Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption.


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  • Adverts for the USA launch of European grocery store chain Lidl (such as this one) feature a customer reacting to a good deal or product at said store by going "Oh sh-/ffffff-" as the scene slows to a crawl, everyone looks toward the person in shock, and the announcer goes into a spiel about the store's deals. When the scene resumes normal speed, the person finishes their sentence in this manner. ("...fffffffresh food? At a deal like that?") Ironically, the extended ads tend to end with someone dropping a (bleeped) expletive anyway.
  • In one of the Jay Bush and Duke ads for Bush's Baked Beans, Jay completes his speech about the secret family recipe and having only shared it with Duke, only to find instead of Duke a Boston terrier dog in front of him instead. He asks the dog where Duke is and it tilts its head to reveal Duke with a crowd of people. He goes over just as Duke is telling the crowd "And the secret family recipe is..." Seeing Jay, Duke finishes with "...not for sale."

    Anime & Manga 
  • In A Place Further than the Universe, Kimari wants to stay up late chatting while the other girls just want to go to sleep. Finally, an exasperated Yuzuki starts to say "Shut up" but then realizes that she's speaking to her senpainote  and needs to be politer, so she tries to say, "Please stop talking now." What winds up coming out is "Please shut talking now". Kimari and Hinata don't let her hear the end of it.
  • Ayakashi Triangle: Suzu is once forced to cut off her omokage from telling Matsuri "suki ([I] love [you])" at just "su". Later, Suzu cuts off her own attempt at the same and instead says "suītopoteto (sweet potato)". (The English version made the cut-off phrase "sweet [on you]".) Somehow, just from that first incident Matsuri decided to buy her a sweet potato bun.
  • Dr. STONE: When Kohaku asks Kinro and Ginro what they think of her sister Ruri, Ginro says she's got "huge ti... er... huge tides of cuteness that just wash me away...". When Kinro admonishes him for only caring about her appearance, he responds "I said I dig her big ol' ti... tides... didn't I?"
  • In THE iDOLM@STER: Cinderella Girls Ranko does this when she begins to address the producer, but switches to other words and phrases starting with pro-, like "provincial wind", "prologue", and "propose", before walking off.
  • Inuyasha: It isn't obvious, but at one point, while still in the "fervently denying I'm in love with her" stage, Inu-Yasha gets very upset at "someone that made away with Kagome...'s shards."
  • In One Piece, Caesar Clown does this when confronted with a former underling who knows that he's been betrayed and deceived from the very beginning.
    Caesar: What do you think you're doing, you stu...pendously talented follower of mine?! Knock it off!
  • The Pokémon: The Series English dub once had James sound like he was about to use the word "bitching" because it would rhyme with "itching" but he stops himself and says "complaining" instead.
  • In Saki, this comes up while Yumi is talking with Momo about her reasons for coming to the training camp. Yumi manages to make the swap just in time, but Momo does so only after blurting out enough.
    Yumi: I have to admit... I want to be together with Mo... I mean, with everyone. Not just for inter-high. So I and Kanbara decided to join this training camp. It probably looks like an excuse to you, though.
    Momo: Senpai... I want to be with you too, Senpai! Summer, autumn everafter— Together with yo— I mean, everyone! Anywhere!
  • In the Skip Beat! Anime, Moko does this fairly early in the series. While making a speech to theater students about how far below her the Love Me section is, the CEO and her section mate walk up behind her, so she ends her speech with "Because a Love Me section member."
  • SPY×FAMILY: During the interview at the Eden Academy, Anya almost blurts out that Loid is a spy when she gets asked what he does for a living. Luckily she gets away by saying "specialist in mental health", referring to his cover job as a psychiatrist.

    Comic Books 
  • The Incredible Hulk: In a special issue of Peter David's run, the moment where a frustrated Hulk shouts "Aw, sh—" is interrupted by another scene; when we get back to him, he ends his exclamation with "—oot!"
  • My Little Pony Generations: While touring the school, Shadow Storm starts to ask where the lava is and corrects himself just after saying this to ask about the library instead.
    Shadow Storm: Where's the lava? Brary. The library. Which is what we have at Hayward. To study volcanoes. Because of all the... lava.
  • Star Wars: Invasion: In Issue 3 of the Revelations arc, one of the ships responding to Admiral Bylsma's distress call starts to introduce itself as a pirate ship before cutting off partway to state that it's a private contracting ship.
  • Watchmen:
    • In Laurie's flashback to the first time she met Edward Blake, after her mother interrupts to drag Laurie away, Blake protests: "Can't a guy talk to his, y'know, his old friend's daughter?" The moment of hesitation evident in that "y'know" becomes much more significant by the end of the chapter, when it's revealed what Blake stopped himself from saying: "Can't a guy talk to his daughter?"
    • At the end, when Laurie and Dan visit Sally in disguise:
      Nurse: Your friends, Mr. and Mrs. Hollis are here to see you.
      Sally: What? But I don't know any... I don't know anyone I'd rather see!
  • Wonder Woman (1942): In "Terrors of the Air", Diana almost says "Great Hera" while in her Diana Prince identity, but stops herself and changes to Heavens right before she utters the "-a".

    Comic Strips 
  • A Beetle Bailey strip has Beetle writing on the wall "SGT. SNORKEL IS A BIG STUPI—". He then notices said sergeant, and finishes writing "SGT. SNORKEL IS A BIG STUPENDOUS PERSON". Beetle walks away relieved, with Sgt. Snorkel looking happy.
  • Dilbert does it in a Dilbert strip.
  • In MAD, an article is devoted to characters saying something offensive, often to someone directly related to the target of their insult, then changing their insult to praise, often by using this trope.
    Fortune Teller: You will meet a beautiful, sexy girl...
    Man: I'm gay.
    Fortune Teller: ...who will introduce you to her gorgeous brother!

    Fan Works 
  • Abraxas (Hrodvitnon): Mariko almost calls Monster X (a Two Beings, One Body fusion of San and a Back from the Dead Vivienne Graham) by Vivienne's last name in front of the G-Team, before she catches herself mid-word and switches it out for Monster X's "Subject G" designation.
  • Beating the Heat gives us this lovely gem from Zecora when she sees Pinkie Pie and Braeburn.
    "Behold these ponies, without any class! A fillie like that likes it in the—"
  • In A Growing Affection, when Hana is discussing her relationship with Shizune.
    Hana: I've always found other women attractive, and not just in an aesthetic way. But I generally prefer men. I like the way they smell, and there is nothing like a long, hard...bicep to hold onto on a cold night. But there was something about Shizune; she and I just clicked."
  • This Harry Potter fanfic.
    "I for one would never say f...oul language like that, Headmaster, I hope you know!"
  • In I Want To Spoil You, Kyouko asks Mami to call her by her first name, rather than "Sakura-san." Mami starts to say "Kyou..." but then says, "Sure is nice weather today," since "Kyou" means "Today" in Japanese.
  • Identity: Multiple instances:
    • When Sirius is grumbling about Remus' self-esteem problems, just before meeting with the Weasleys:
      Sirius: Hopefully, though, Moony can pull his head out of his- Arthur!
    • A few chapters later, the narrative pulls this by switching from one character to another.
      Ron: I hope Snape puts him on his-
      Lockhart: -ask; does anyone have any questions about what I've just shown you?
  • Limpet AU: While complaining about politicians in "Meet the Skywalkers", Han begins to say "ass"... before switching it to "asteroids" when Leia reprimands him for swearing in front of their youngest son. Anakin doesn't buy it.
  • Luminosity has one with a Fantastic Slur for vampires, "leeches". For context, there are some vampires who are on Jacob's side, whom he is addressing, and some who aren't.
    Jacob: I want those lee...ders of the supernatural world gone.
  • Ma Fille: Mac does this with the word "ass" when he realizes his teacher is watching. He swaps it out with "antagonistic". Later subverted when he does say "ass" and gets reprimanded.
  • A Mighty Demon Slayer Grooms Some Ponies: (Human) Molly tells the animal-loving Fluttershy about her horse that broke a leg, so her sister had to put it d... uh—put it into a nice home for lame horses, yessir.
  • The Omnitrix Hero: In the first chapter, after Flash Sentry, as Diamondhead, defeats Vilgax's mantis drone, when Trixie cheers for him she nearly blows his Secret Identity in front of everyone before catching herself.
    Trixie: Yeah! Way to go Fla...ashy...diamond...headed guy.
  • Pokémon Reset Bloodlines: In a sidestory focused on the Lono twins' Melemele Grand Trial, there's a point where Gladion makes a blunt but truthtful remark about how every trainer should know that some Pokémon change personalities when they evolve. This exchange then ensues:
    Sophocles: (to Lillie) You know, your brother is ru-
    Lillie: (Death Glare)
    Sophocles: (shuddering) -dite! Quite erudite!
  • The Secret Return of Alex Mack: It's only rated FR-13, after all.
    • When Alex is choosing a superhero name, she briefly considers "Wonder Woman", whom she met while fighting D'Lazza.
      Alex: She’s the one in the bathing suit and the tiara, with the…
      George: <cups hands in front of his chest> The enormous… <sees his wife's glare> …set of skills?
    • Riley Finn, pretending to be a reporter, drops Terawatt's name while fishing for information.
      Male Teenager: Terawatt? The hot chick with the huge... <glances at the girl he's trying to impress> ...badguy fighting skills?
    • And when discussing the silicate amoebas' reproduction:
      Harry: I didn’t think you were paying any attention in biology classes.
      Ron: Just the lessons where that cute blonde student teacher with the big... amoebas did the talking.
  • In An Unexpected Revelation (NSFW), when Adrien sees Marinette's prom dress, he says "I can’t wait to take…" at which point he sees her parents and says (after they actually ask him what he intended to say) “C-Can’t wait to take you guys to the hall!”. Somehow, he believes they are unaware of him and Marinette having scheduled Their First Time for right after the graduation.
  • In Chengar Qordath's Winningverse, his first story in his own little universe contains this gem, sung by Pinkie Pie.
    And maybe finally today, I'll have a bit of luck
    We'll lie down somewhere comfortable, and then we'll — Oh hi there, Derpy!
  • your move, instigator (draw your weapon and hold your tongue): After curb-stomping him in a training fight, Kiba starts to taunt Sasuke by saying "You fight like a..." He then pauses, glancing towards his teammates Sakura and Tenten before settling on "You fight like a cat," prompting Sasuke to screech angrily.
  • In The Casagrandes fanfic Zoo Coup Riot, ARF member Misha is constantly swearing. However, as she's usually around the underaged Ronnie Anne and friends, she makes sure to replace the swears with more child-friendly words.

    Films — Animation 
  • In Brave, the mysterious old woman who is definitely a woodcarver denies her broomstick moves by itself: "It's impossible to imbue wooden objects with magic and I should know; I'm a wit —- whittler. Of wood."
  • Brother Bear Rutt and Tuke share a fond memory of drinking fresh dew. They realize that Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other but can't admit it: "I love...dew!" "I love dew too!"
  • Coco: Héctor edits a profane word out of his song: "and her... knuckles... dragged down to the floor."
    Chicharrón: Those aren't the words!
    Héctor: [sotto voce] There are children present.
  • Frozen:
    • In the song "In Summer," Olaf, the snowman, sings "Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle. But put me in summer and I'll be a (stares at a puddle in front of him and steps over it)...happy snowman!"
    • Inversion: ♪♫ "Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep... snow!" ♪♫
    • In the song "Love is an Open Door":
      Hans: We finish each other's—
      Anna: —sandwiches! [Hans has a confused look]
      Hans: That's what I was gonna say!
  • Hercules: Phil's response to Herc's ambitions:
    Phil: My answer is Two Words
    (Cue Bolt of Divine Retribution)
    Phil: (wheezing) ...o-kay.
  • From Igor:
    King Malbert: What are you doing?
    Carl Cristall: Scratching my invisible...but onto my next question.
  • In Kung Fu Panda, after Mantis gives Po an acupuncture treatment:
    Po: Ow! I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better!
    Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this—
    Po: Fat?
    Mantis: Fur! I was gonna say fur.
    Po: Sure you were.
  • In Lilo & Stitch, this is combo-ed with a Right Behind Me moment:
    Nani: You are so finished when I get in there! I'm gonna stuff you in the blender, push "puree", then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker! And when he says, "Mmmm, this is great, what's your secret?" I'm gonna say..."(Bubbles hooks Nami's foot, and pulls her out of the dog door) "! And...nurturing."
  • The Lion King (1994): In the scene where the hyenas complain to Scar about not having any food:
    Banzai: (muttering under his breath) I thought things were bad under Mufasa.
    Scar: What did you say?!
    Banzai: I said Muf-(Shenzi elbows him) I said, uh... "'Qué pasa?'"
    Scar: Good. Now, get out!
    • Another one in The Lion King (1994), when Pumbaa gets stuck under a tree branch running away from Nala:
      Timon, pushing Pumbaa's ass to get him unstuck: "Why do i always have to save your..." (sees Nala jumping towards them both) "...AAAAAHH!!!"
  • In Madagascar, Marty the zebra says the gem below, which also counts as Fun with Acronyms:
    Marty: Oh, sh... Sugar Honey Ice Tea!
  • Monsters, Inc. has this:
    Mike: [mocking Randall] "You hear it? You hear the winds of change—-" Ah, what a creep. One of these days I'm really... gonna let you (Sulley) teach that guy a lesson.
  • In My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Forgotten Friendship, this is heavily implied when Sunset Shimmer accuses Trixie of wiping out her friend's memories, she calls her a "manipulative... blow-hard". The context makes it obvious she wanted to call her another word that starts with "b".
  • From Ratatouille: "I would have followed your advice to the ends of the Earth, because I love youuuuur advice!"
  • In The Road to El Dorado, Tulio exclaims "Holy...Ship!" as a boat appears and nearly runs over his raft. Of course, as a ship of the conquistadors, it literally WAS a Holy Ship...
  • In Robin Hood (1973), an insulting song about the prince turns out to be so catchy that even his advisors are singing it. As they are singing, Prince John enters the room and Sir Hiss quickly swaps the insulting adjectives to "Fabulous, Marvelous, Merciful, Chivalrous". Unfortunately for him, the Sheriff is unaware that Prince John is there and corrects him and lists "it's Sniveling, Groveling, Measely, Weaseling...", whereupon Prince John furiously throws a pitcher of wine at him.
  • Shrek:
    • Shrek and Donkey enter Lord Farquaad's castle and are greeted by musical wooden puppets at the Information Center, who sing, "Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes / Wipe your...FACE." Made funnier, because as the puppets sing, they also mime/dance what they're singing. By the time they get to the last line, their butts are in the air and they're looking backwards, but they quickly turn around.
      Come on in. What the heck?/ Fall on down. Break your... face
    • When Monsieur Hood and his men are singing:
      Monsieur Hood: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid!
      Merry Men: What he's basically saying is he likes to get-
      Monsieur Hood: Paid!
    • Near the end, when Donkey clears up the misunderstanding between Shrek and Fiona without letting out the latter's secret.
      Donkey: All she ever did was like you! Maybe even love you!
      Shrek: Love me?! She said I was ugly, a hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!
      Donkey: She wasn't talking about you! She was talking about...somebody else.
  • In Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Miles Morales encounters an undercover Gwen Stacy. When she introduces herself to him, she very nearly says her real name, then hastily changes it to "Wanda," resulting in:
    Gwen/Wanda: I'm Gweeeaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnda?
  • The Thief and the Cobbler Recobbled: ZigZag has one directed at his bird: "Oh Ffffffffffffffffffffff... phido!"
  • Played with in Who Framed Roger Rabbit in the form of a song:
    Eddie: I'm through with taking falls
    And bouncing off the walls
    Without that gun, I'd have some fun
    I'd kick you in the... (bottle falls on his head)
    Roger Rabbit: Nose!
    Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls"?
    Eddie Valiant: No, but this does! (kicks Smartass in the crotch)
  • Turning Red: Ming's explanation about how the red panda curse came to be: "And what was a blessing became... an inconvenience."

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Alexander's Ragtime Band: After Charlie calls their little group "the three musketeers", an extremely irritated Stella says "the three musketeers, my—my foot."
  • Back to the Future:
    • A rare example where the whole word comes out and then has to be converted retroactively — which only Marty McFly could pull off:
      Marty: You're not gonna be picking a fight, Dad. Dad — Dad — Daddy-O!
    • And also when Marty wakes up in the bedroom of his mother (who is 17 years old at this point) earlier on in the movie, suffering a mini-Oedipal breakdown:
      Marty: You're my muhh... you're my muhh...
      Lorraine: My name is Lorraine. Lorraine Baines.
      Marty: Yeah... but you're hooonote ... you're so hoooo, you're so... thin!
  • Bruce in Bruce Almighty pulls one of these when he realizes who it is he's talking to.
    Bruce: Holy shhhh- ...cow.
  • In Child's Play 2, after the Killer Doll Chucky reaches Andy's new foster home, he discovers another Good Guy doll named Tommy and proceeds to destroy it and take its place. When Andy finds "Tommy", Chucky, trying to pose as a regular Good Guy doll, defaults to his normal programming somewhat imperfectly, leaving Andy suspicious enough that he checks the doll's batteries.
    Chucky: Hi, I'm... <Beat> Tommy, and I'm your friend to the end!
  • An interesting example in A Christmas Story: a censored "re-enactment" using the word-swap. Young Ralphie, after a mishap, ends up saying "Oh...ffffuuddgge." But then, the narrating older Ralphie reveals, "Only I didn't say 'fudge'."
  • In the Bud Spencer and Terence Hill 1977 comedy film Crime Busters, the duo plans to rob a supermarket and bust through the door with the words "This is a...!". When they realize they are standing in an office room of the local police department with everyone staring at them, they quickly finish the sentence with "... really nice office!" (as opposed to "... robbery!").
  • British horror film Dead of Night has a scene in which ventriloquist Maxwell Frere (Michael Redgrave) and his wisecracking puppet, "Hugo", perform in a show. Hugo/Frere asks a female member of the audience, "Didn't I see you working your... head off at the Folies Bergère?note 
  • The Hilarious Outtakes of Emmitt Otter's Jug Band Christmas had a great example, after the mother otter flubs a line:
    Mother Otter: Ah fff-phooey.
  • Friday the 13th (1980): Mrs. Voorhees insists that Jason had to be watched at all times towards the climax. She's about to use rather unflattering descriptions of why that was, but she noticeably catches herself and then merely says the boy was a poor swimmer.
  • In the Gene Wilder western comedy The Frisco Kid (1979) Tommy the cowboy starts to swear in front of Rabbi Avram and (of course) swaps it out at the last second.
    Tommy: Well shhhhhhhheeee.....oot.
  • In The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, one of the male gamers quickly tries to avoid insulting the one girl in the party when he makes a comparison between losing track of time while playing D&D to losing track of time when "looking for porn...-litical commentary." Another player immediately Lampshades it: "Nice dodge, Gary."
  • In the film version of George of the Jungle:
    Narrator: And they were dangerously close to sticking a coconut up Lyle's...sleeping bag.
  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): Mark Russell has one doubling as a Curse Cut Short when Ghidorah changes direction in response to Rodan's awakening:
    "It's reacting to Big Bird's cries. That means he's coming for a food or a fight or a f-" [glances at Ilene Chen standing in direct earshot] "...something more intimate."
  • From the 2007 film of the musical of Hairspray, Amber is midway through insulting a dancer, but gets taken aback by the strikingly handsome Link Larkin walking in:
    Amber: Do that again and there‘ll be stumps where your feet are, you got that, you little who—
    Link: Hey, Amber.
    Amber: —ly moly!
  • In Hangmen Also Die!, a 1943 Very Loosely Based on a True Story Dramatization of the aftermath of the assassination of Reinhard Heydrich, Mascha is released from the Gestapo headquarters and goes home. Dr. Svoboda then shows up to talk to her. He is savvy enough to know that the apartment is probably bugged, but she doesn't realize it right away, leading the Gestapo to overhear her say the following (and astonishingly, they fall for it):
    "You're the one the Gestapo wants! You killed... any-any feelings I-I ever had for you."
  • At the end of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York:
    Buzz: Now, enough of this gooey sh— of emotion.
  • In the Loop contains a rare example of a word being swapped for one which is more offensive:
    Malcolm Tucker: You are a real boring fuck! Sorry, I know that you disapprove of swearing, so I'll sort that out: you are a boring eff-star-star-cunt.
  • In Iron Man 3, when Tony and James are having an argument and a couple of children walk up wanting autographs:
    James: I'm not trying to be a dick (sees children) —tator, Tony.
  • In The King's Speech, Lionel Logue tries to test his idea that swearing will reduce Bertie's speech impediment:
    Logue: Do you know the F word?
    Bertie: Ffffffffornication.
    Logue: Oh, Bertie...
    • Then subverted when Bertie proceeds to drop a spectacular Cluster F-Bomb.
  • In A Knight's Tale, Geoffrey Chaucer is begging Will Thatcher (who is masquerading as the knight Sir Ulrich) to help with his gambling debts in front of his creditors.
    Geoffrey: Please Will— (others shoot him a look) Please will you help me, Sir Ulrich?
  • In The Man, Eugene Levy tries to get Samuel L. Jackson to stop cursing so much: "Oh, fffor crying out loud!"
  • From Monty Python and the Holy Grail, as the Lord of Swamp Castle holds his hands in front of his chest to suggest a woman's breasts: "She's rich, she's beautiful, she has huge... tracts of land!"
  • Monty Python's Life of Brian: One character has a rather severe stutter. To get around it, he swaps one word for another, despite it not being close to the original word.
  • In My Cousin Vinny, Vinny's foul mouth has already gotten him in trouble a couple times when he's presented with a boatload of new disclosed evidence. "I need some more time to go over all this sh...stuff!"
  • Oscar: Angelo "Snaps" Provolone is upset, but then notices Father Clemente.
    Snaps: That son of a... gun! Gosh-a-mighty! Cheese and crackers!
  • The Princess Diaries:
    Queen Clarisse: You look so...young.
    Mia: Uh, thank you. And you look so...clean.
  • In Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, as Scott is talking with Ramona about the shaky ground of their nascent relationship:
    Scott: I know it's early, but I don't think anything can get in the way of how I — shit.
    (camera turns to reveal Envy walking in)
  • Done in Sister Act after the climax when Delores's ex, Vince, is about to be taken away.
    Delores: I've got two words for you, Vince—
    Sister Mary Robert: Mary Clarence!
    Delores: Bless you.
  • Spy Kids: A Running Gag in the film series has someone exclaiming, "Oh shi—ttake mushrooms!"
  • In St. Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold, Geoffrey infiltrates a organization dedicated to hating women for the titular (all-girls) school but during it, goes against orders and delivers a tirade against them, joining the bad guys. At one point in the speech, though, he nearly calls the girls "bitches" but can't bring himself to do it and says "minxes" instead, hinting that he's actually trying to earn the leader's respect in his own way.
  • In Support Your Local Sheriff, when new sheriff McCullough recruits the semi-willing Jake as his deputy, and the question of running this hiring past the mayor and town council comes up:
    Jake: [somewhat hopeful] So there's a chance they might turn me down?
    McCullough: No, I think their attitude is going be if someone's cr- willing to take the job..
  • In The Sword of Doom, when Hama is pretending to be her husband Bunnojo's sister to Ryunosuke, she tries to cover her slip-ups this way. It doesn't work.
  • In the Three Stooges short "Brideless Groom", Shemp gets hit by an opening door and gets aggressive - until he realizes it was Moe.
    Shemp: Why I oughta-!
    Moe: [menacing] You oughta what?
    Shemp: [meekly] I oughta be a little more careful!
  • Wayne's World 2. "We'll cross the Ts and dot the...(notices he's about to offend their manager, who has heterochromia)...lower case Js."
  • The Wolf of Snow Hollow: When his subordinate officers keep suggesting that the local murder spree is perpetrated by a werewolf, Officer John Marshall snaps, "Our killer is a guy! I'm gonna find him, and I'm gonna ki- ... and we're gonna bring him to justice."
  • Wonder Woman (2017): When Diana is introduced to Sir Patrick Morgan, she's about to casually reveal her true identity. Steve interrupts her and makes her alias up on the spot.
    Diana: Diana, princess of Themys...
    Steve: Prince, Diana Prince.
  • In Zombieland:
    Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there.
    Columbus: The amusement park?
    Little Rock: Yep!
    Tallahassee: That place totally blows!
    (Little Rock and Wichita give Tallahassee angry looks)
    Tallahassee: mind. Just fun for the whole family.

  • Maximum Ride: In The Angel Experiment, Max and her flock are at a zoo, trying to escape the Erasers after them. Max has a headache, but swaps it out for "an overwhelming desire to set these animals free" when talking to Fang, causing him to let her down gently about how horrible the idea is.
  • In Steven Brust's To Reign in Hell, Ariel is requested to speak in other than rhyming couplet. In response, a limerick:
    The judgments that you tend to pass,
    On poets you wish to harass,
    Would give me to swear,
    Were I unaware,
    That you are naught but an asset to the Heavenly throne, wherefore I leave you alone.
  • Sherlock Holmes of all people gets one of these in The Adventure of the Norwood Builder.
    Holmes: Arrest you! This really is most grati— most interesting. On what charge do you expect to be arrested?
    • Another (even funnier) one comes in The Adventure of the Empty House, as he speaks to Lestrade.
    Holmes: [You] handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual — that's to say, you handled it fairly well.
  • A travel guide detailing various local traditions says that, "In France, many believe that raw oysters enhance your appetite for...Christmas." Probably a Parental Bonus as well.
  • In the Star Trek novel Cast No Shadow, the Klingon General Igdar challenges a subordinate, Kaj, regarding her "communications with the - the Federation", and it's clear that he was going to say "with the enemy", forgetting that the Klingons and Federation have been at peace for seven years.
  • In This Rough Magic, the well-endowed Svanhild Thordardottar is described as "the one with the big pair of—of—bodyguards".
  • Kill time or die trying has a highly unconvincing one:
    Douw: Brad, come with me to the uh...outside. We need to uh...go there,
  • In A Brother's Price, Cullen's sisters want him to be the proper man, decorative and safe. He's horse-mad but his family won't let him near horses because "I had some great-great-grandfart that got kicked in the head and died"; he has a cousin who'll take him to the stables and let him pet them over a low wall, but that's about it. When the Whistlers, who are a lot more liberal in their treatment of men, propose, he tells his sisters he'd be happy with them. They're good to men, they aren't stodgy, they have little brothers so he'd have other men around, they'd teach him how to ri - to write and read.
  • In The Elenium, there are five troll gods: the god of Fire, the god of Ice, the god of Eat, the god of Kill, and the god of—mating.
  • Lietuenant Bush is forced to do this in Hornblower and the Hotspur while he's training the ship's hapless junior officers. Hornblower doesn't approve of actually cursing at them, so Bush winds up bellowing things like "you careless... you careless young gentleman!" at the top of his lungs.
  • In Ishmael and the Return of the Dugongs, Razza is complaining about Ignatius, only to realize that Mr Guthrie is in the room.
    He wouldn't recognise a poem if it jumped up and bit him on the dic- tionary.
  • In the Mercy Thompson novel Iron Kissed Mercy is trying to find a fae murderer and attends an anti-fae meeting. When she is asked about her background she starts to say she was raised werewolf before remembering she is with fantastic racists. "I'd been spending too much time with Adam's pack and not enough with real people I thought as I hastily replaced werewolf with whitebread American. Helpfully she wasn't a werewolf, and didn't sense my lie."
  • X-Wing Series:
    • In Wraith Squadron, one of the pilots is Jesmin Ackbar, niece of the famous Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. While manning a captured ship and improvising his way through a communication with the ship's former superiors, Face nearly calls her by name, but coughs and corrects himself to "Ackran."
    • In Iron Fist, Wraith Squadron is undercover as Space Pirates. Going into battle, Face starts to wish his comrades "May the Force be with you," but thinks better of it at the last second.
      Face: And may... we drink from the skulls of our enemies tonight!
  • In the third book of Harry Potter, Harry Potter is talking to his aunt, who knows nothing about magic, and is about to say Hogwarts, but instead he says school.
  • During the fourth book of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, Hera calls Percy Jackson one of Poseidon's… children. Percy himself notes she was about to say a very different word than children, such as mistake or bastard (as Percy is illegitimate).
  • In Renegades, when Winston is being interrogated about Nightmare and her name, he starts saying it, then realizes that Nova (who's masquerading as a Renegade) is right with him in the room and swaps it for Noreen at the last second. Nobody buys this as a real name, but it does keep Nova's secret.
  • The Space Merchants:
    I asked Hester: "Is Runstead's secretary just a hired hand or one of his—" I was going to say "stooges" but smoothly reversed my field "—one of his confidants?"
  • There Is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns: Quist is a fire mage with an irritable disposition, and frequently has to stop himself from incinerating things that annoy him — which usually takes the form of swapping mid-incantation from "cast fireball" to "summon duck". The ducks are arguably even more dangerous, though.
  • Discworld:
    • In The Truth, trash and night-soil magnate Harry King does a favor for William de Worde and Mr. Goodmountain, but warns them to pay him back or they'll be "in deep... trouble, face-downwards."
    • In Interesting Times, psychological warfare is defined as shouting "We're gonna cut yer tonkers off!" In Carpe Jugulum Shawn Ogg starts to reference this, then remembers he's talking to Granny Weatherwax and substitutes "tongue".
  • Whateley Universe: In conjunction with Curse Cut Short and Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion. In Blood Sister, Blood Brother:
    Miss Mary had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell
    Miss Mary went to Heaven, the steamboat went to
    Hello operator, please give me number Nine
    And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick you from
    Behind the frigerator, there lies a piece of glass
    Miss Mary sat upon it and broke her little
    Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies
    The boys are in the bathroom, a zipping up their
    Flies are in the city, the bees are in the park
    Miss Mary and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K
    Dark, Dark, Dark!
  • Swan's Braid & Other Tales of Terizan: Terizan switches from calling the Tribunes' plan for her "stupid" to "strange" in mid sentence so they're not mad at her.

    Live-Action TV 
  • 30 Rock:
    • In one episode, Lemon and Pete are discussing how old Tracy's alleged son is.
      Lemon: You know, I always do have trouble telling ages when it comes to black...
      (Toofer walks into the room)
      Lemon: shoes are my favorite color of shoes.
    • There was also an episode where a maintenance man had to deal with a gas leak during his last day before retirement.
      "I'm getting too old for this shhhh sound the gas makes."
  • Arrested Development:
    • This scene, where Tobias and Lindsay are having a heated argument, when their daugther, Maeby, walks in on them:
      Lindsay: That's my point you— (notices Maeby) handsome cowboy, you.
      Tobias: Oh, great. And now you're mocking me!? You selfish cun(also notices Maeby) —try-music-loving lady!
    • Another example involving Tobias and Maeby:
      Tobias: Oh, a pregnancy test. There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? Oh, no, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science and money and just a dash long have you been standing there?
      Maeby: I just walked in.
      Tobias: (chuckling) Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.
    • Yet another example, again with Tobias:
      Lindsay: We managed to raise $50,000!
      Tobias: Well most of that money was from the Bluth Company, I mean how...
      (Lindsay shoots him a look)
      Tobias: ...are you?
  • Babylon 5:
    • In the episode "There All the Honor Lies" Ambassador Mollari objects to the figures of him sold in the station gift shop because they do not include "attributes" (the tentacle-like sex organs attached to the back of Centauri men):
      Ivanova: So you feel like you're being symbolically cast—
      Londo: (looks at her)
      Ivanova: a bad light?
      Sheridan: Well put.
    • She does it again in a later episode, when discussing a nightmare in which she shows up naked on the command deck: "This morning I dreamt I walked into C&C totally...unprepared for my work." But then the punchline is itself punchlined when Sheridan offhandedly remarks it could've been worse...and then describes the actual dream.
    • Delenn in "Shadow Dancing" discusses what happens if a male Minbari continues to express interest in a female if she's not interested: "She can leave when he's asleep, file a complaint with the elders, even cut off his...access to her family." Word of God has it that this is a subversion, in that she was merely stumbling over her words and what she actually said is true.
    • In a scene set in the future, holograms possessing the personalities and memories of the B5 crew were being manipulated by a propaganda minister in a totalitarian government. After gaining control of the system's defense computers, the Garibaldi hologram suggested to the minister, "My recommendation for you would be to stick your head between your legs and kiss your aspirations goodbye."
  • Battlestar Galactica: Gaius Baltar is pretty much the god of this trope; because he's constantly talking to his hallucination of Six, when he's actually having a conversation with someone else he has to swap or insert words at the last minute to keep the real conversation going in a logical fashion.
  • The Benny Hill Show used this trope at least once an episode. Example:
    Mary had a little lamb
    She also had a duck
    She put them on the window sill to see if they would...
    good night, ladies and gentlemen!!
  • From Better Off Ted: "I love you...tah! I love Utah."
  • From an episode of The Big Bang Theory:
    Wolowitz: We only did it because you were being a giant dictator.
    Koothrappali: I thought you said we were going to be nice to him!
    Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator".
    • There's also this from Raj when Leonard wants to abandon the rest of the guys to be with Raj's sister Priya:
      Koothrappali: Oh come on, man! Bros beforenote sister.
  • From an episode of Boy Meets World, where Mr. Feeny inadvertently becomes part of Cory and Topanga's scheme to help Shawn:
    Mr. Feeny: I have serious misgivings about being part of your little...
    (Shawn walks into the classroom)
    Mr. Feeny: Big Horn! Where General Custer and his wife... Mrs. Custer... had a beach house. (Beat) Oh I'm way too involved.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • Most episodes where the "Scooby Gang" is discussing the Monster of the Week in a public area ("Angry.. puppies").
    • In "Beauty and the Beasts", the Scoobies are worried that Oz might have killed someone while in his werewolf form. Willow tells Buffy that at least it's not her boyfriend (Angel) who's a cold blooded...jelly donut? (on realising Oz is Right Behind Me). Later they find the killer can't be Oz because he's killed during the day, and Oz expresses relief that he's not a cold-blooded jelly donut.
    • In the musical episode, Tara's song has the added-syllables variant: "You make me come...-plete!" Come-plete with back-arching and camera-dodging actions suited to one of those words.
    • Same episode, Xander substitutes clearly sexual terms with "tight embrace". Twice.
    • "We kissed, you and me. All Gone With the Wind, with the rising music and the"
    • Buffy also has a rare version where adding syllables makes it worse, in the Season 5 premiere, "Buffy vs. Dracula":
    Xander: As if even that's enough to stop the unholy master!...bater.
    • There's a little bit of Fridge Brilliance there, when you consider Dracula had hairy palms in Bram Stoker's original novel, coinciding with a popular urban legend that this characteristic may develop from excessive masturbation.
    • In "Lies My Parents Told Me":
      Buffy: (to Giles) It was boring, old, and English. Just like you...ul. Yul Brynner. A British Yul Brynner.
    • A adorable scene from "Into the Woods" — Joyce is worried that Buffy is neglecting her boyfriend because of her illness:
      Buffy: I gave Riley the day off.
      Joyce: I don't think he thinks of you as a chore, Buffy.
      Buffy: I know that. Look, I told him to make plans with his friends because I wanted to have you all to myself, okay? Besides, I can see him any time. And I'm sure he'll come over later looking for a little (remembers that she is talking to her mother)...Bible Study!
      Joyce: (not buying it for a second) Well, good. I mean, just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time with...The Lord.
      Buffy: Oh, we are. Absolutely.
    • Andrew talks to Jonathan about Warren in a particularly Ho Yay inducing example:
      Andrew: He never really loved...hanging out with us.
    • Spike has Harmony on a bed and is running his hand up her leg.
      "I knew you'd end up welcoming me back with open...arms."
    • In "Phases" Cordelia is parking with Xander at the local Make-Out Point and implies that at least one of them is no longer a virgin.
      Cordelia: Excuse me? We didn't come here to talk about Willow. We came here to do things I can never tell my father about because he still thinks I'm a...good girl.
    • Variation in "When She Was Bad" - Giles is discussing Buffy's alienating behavior with Willow and Xander when she walks up behind him:
      Xander: That's a very interesting point about trout - that you made just now!
      Giles: Trout? (sees Buffy) Yes! The a fish.
  • Nathan Fillion get one in Castle, when he talks to a witness about Beckett.
    Castle: She'd never go for it. She's a real bi...
    (Beckett comes in)
    Castle: For the record, I was gonna say "big rule follower".
  • In an episode of Charmed, the sisters have to take a potion to help fight the Demon of Illusion. Piper's reaction to the taste is "Ugh, it tastes like as... phalt."
  • El Chavo del ocho:
    • In one story, Don Ramón tricked his landlord into thinking La Chillindrina had chicken-pox. Later that day, when Professor Jirafales showed up, it wasn't only to see Doña Florinda but also because La Chilindrina skipped school and had El Chavo say she was sick. When Professor Jirafales asked Don Ramón to tell if La Chillindrina was really sick or not, he was enraged that his daughter would make up that. "La Chillindrina? Sick? Of course..." Then he noticed his landlord appearing and, to avoid blowing up his own lie, resumed his crying act. "...she is, she is!"
    • There's another in the episode where El Chavo is put on a mock trial for killing Quico's pet cat. While Quico is giving his statement, he calls Chavo "menso" (a Mexican slang for stupid or dumbass), which Professor Jirafales calls him out on. When he resumes his statement, Quico is about to call him "menso" again, only to switch to "mencionado Chavo".
  • From Chuck:
    Emmett: I'm sorry to interrupt this little meeting of the minds, but you're not the only ones who find this new regime insufferable. It's obvious that our rotund leader is channeling his sexual energies into the Buy More. In my opinion, our only hope—
    Morgan: —is to channel them back into sex, yeah, it's brilliant, Emmett, but where do we find Big Mike a ridiculously out-of-his-league hottie?
    Lester: Yeah, someone who'll suck his...will to work out of him.
  • Subverted/parodied in the Community episode "Comparative Religion", when Shirley disapprovingly confronts Jeff over his plan to fight a bully:
    Shirley: What's going on here?
    Troy: We're trying to get Jeff ready for the fi-iiiiiii....iiiighhhh...........t. (whispers) I couldn't think of another word.
    Jeff: Idiot. He meant we were figh- ...ting. (to Troy) It is hard to think of another word.
  • Countdown with Keith Olbermann:
    "And to use the vulgarities of the gutter, you are a worthless... Coulter."
  • Doctor Who:
    • "The Power of the Daleks":
      • The Daleks pretend to be the humans' obedient servants, while at the same time requesting extra power cables:
        Dalek: With static electricity, the Daleks will be even more - useful!
      • And in the same story: "A Dalek is bett- is not the same as a human!"
    • In "Battlefield", the way Brigadier Bambera delivers her Catchphrase "Oh, shame!" suggests she's thinking of another word starting with "sh".
    • A possible example may have been referenced in "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship". At one point, Rory tries to explain the Doctor and the TARDIS to his father. He starts with "You know when Amy and I first got married and we went travelling?" Brian answers, "To Thailand?" It is quite likely that during the original conversation, Rory was about to say "We went traveling through time", only to substitute the word "Thailand" at the last moment.
    • "Rosa": After meeting Rosa Parks, the Doctor tells her she's a big fan of... Montgomery, so as not to reveal either that she's a time traveller or any potential future spoilers.
  • In the last episode of The Fast Show Ralph stops himself from drunkenly confessing his love to Ted just in time: "I don't care how old you are, even if you were a hundred I would love...I would love to get another drink."
  • The couple who run the village shop in Father Ted are always on the verge of throttling each other. When one of the priests enters, they often turn a stabbing motion into a warm embrace. (Not a word swap so much as a gesture swap, but the same idea.)
  • In Frasier, in the studio, Roz is talking about how hot a new colleague is and how she'd like to "give him a —" Frasier's chair spins around and she suddenly spots his young son sitting in it. "— a great big Seattle hug!" She follows by giving him the hug in question. Frasier's son calls her on it with a dry, "Nice catch, Roz" in response.
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:
    • Will is comforting Carlton after his girlfriend leaves him at a wedding chapel and Carlton admits he is a virgin. Will says that it's okay and...
      Carlton: You mean you're a virgin too?
      Will: Keep your voice down man, I AIN'T NO VIRGIN! (woman in front of him gets up and leaves) Hey, look man, when it comes to me and the honeys I just say de... (priest walks up to him) no way! Ooh, ugh yucky!
    • Also Will has used this epically while talking to Uncle Phil:
      Will: Gee, Uncle Phil. You look like you lost
    • And another, similar example:
      Will: Uncle Phil, don't you ever get so stressed out, that you feel like you could just pull out your...tongue?
  • Friends:
    • When Chandler panics and disappears before his marriage to Monica, Rachel is about to break the news to her when Phoebe arrives and signals that they've found him.
      Rachel: We can't find Chandler...'s vest.
    • Phoebe in her song that totally isn't about Ross's love triangle with Rachel and Julie:
      Will Betty be the one that he loves truly,
      Or will it be the one that we'll call...Lulie?
  • Game of Thrones: Roose Bolton to Jaime Lannister, while trying to Ignore the Disability of a guest who'd recently been rendered permanently unable to clap.
    Roose: I would have thought you'd learnt not to overplay your... position.
  • In The Golden Girls, when Dorothy visits one of her students in hospital, they have the following conversation:
    Dorothy: Ah, I see some people have already signed your cast.
    Kevin: Uh, yeah, some of the guys from the team. Are you signing it?
    Dorothy: Correcting it. There is no K in victory. Oh yeah, and we'll just change this to "Ms. Zbornak eats shittake mushrooms".
  • In Grace Under Fire, a guy at the plant realizes Grace, the supervisor, has just entered the room, and alters his story about the topless pancake house: "the waitresses all had these really big jugs...of syrup, that they poured over your pancakes..."
  • A commercial for the show Greek included a scene where one character was telling another that his female friend wanted to be fu...(nuns walk past) buddies with him.
  • British comedy duo Hale & Pace and their "Well 'Ard" Song. "Always drinking from a broken glass - cracking walnuts in my..." Cue soccer fans storming into the pub: "Arsenal! Arsenal!"
  • In Happy Endings, Brad has this to say when talking about Halloween.
    Brad: I cannot wait for this year's monster mash pumpkin bash. The buffets, ugh! The drag queen contest, *gay voice* ok?! The smoking hot girl... (realizes his wife is glaring) ..orilla costumes.
    Jane: Yeah, I'm right next to you.
    Brad: Its basically a gorilla costume that's slightly singed, like when you age a document.
    • In "The Shershow Redemption" when Brad and Jane find out they're not legally married:
      Jane: Brad! You know what this means, right?
      Brad: We get to have honeymoon sex again? I get to put my co... (realizes his friends are present) keys in your a...ttic?
    • Other characters do this as well, but Brad the most, like when he says, again right next to Jane, that having an assistant is great because they buy anniversary presents for your... mailman.
  • From Home Improvement:
    Al: (to Jill) That is a nice picture of you.
  • Horrible Histories: Combined with Perfectly Cromulent Word in the 'Historical First Dates' sketch on the "Ridiculous Romantics" special. Catherine Howard attends her first date with Henry VIII accompanied by Francis Dereham. When Henry asks who he is, Francis starts to say he's her boyfriend, but is kicked by Catherine under the table after he says "boyfr...", and Catherine hurriedly finishes the sentence by saying "Boyfr...ump! It's a new word meaning companion. Or servant."
  • How I Met Your Mother:
    • "...and she had a pierced...Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan is my favorite of all the Bonds."
    • Barney tries to confess his feelings for Robin to Ted, only to run face first into Robin herself in mid-sentence, so his confession comes out like this: "Ted, I have to tell you the truth. I'm in love with tacooooos."
    • When Ted describes Lethal Weapon to his kids, we actually see a clip of Murtaugh saying "I'm too old for this sh—" before Ted interjects "STUFF. He said stuff."
    • Used and lampshaded:
      Robin: Yeah, but doesn't Marshall's mom hate you — the fact that you two aren't very close?
      Ted: Sweet save.
    • Barney is having trouble getting a one-night stand to leave, when Lily — who's been staying with him — comes in. The girl asks if Lily's his wife, and he starts to say "No" before switching to "Yes!" The girl storms out.
  • From I'm Alan Partridge:
    Michael: And he thought, hang on, I've paid my money, I'm going to have something; so he flips him over, and he fu—
    (Lynn enters the room)
    Michael: —and fu— and funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.
    Alan: (confused) ...That's the strangest story I've ever heard.
  • The JAG episode "Meltdown" was the second half of a two-parter that introduced the NCIS characters. In one scene, a nervous Abby is testifying on the witness stand and is asked about a piece of evidence":
    Abby: Oh, I ran a whole slew of sh...stuff on that.
  • In an episode of Jonathan Creek, when Jonathan discovers that his boss's new bodyguard is a little person:
    Jonathan: Oh, you must be Jo... sef.
  • In an episode of Leverage, this is combined with Noodle Incident.
    Sophie: Braddock Aeronautics. It's top shelf.
    Eliot: That's military aircraft contractors. They used to stamp their logo on their choppers and we'd have to file them off before we — went fishin'.
    Eliot: For... fish...
    • Played for Drama in "The Double Blind Job": Parker, awkwardly trying to express her feelings for Hardison, says "So, the thing is, I think that maybe I might be having feelings. Like weird, weird feelings... f-for... pretzels." Hardison, understanding what she really means, patiently replies, "Well, they're right here, when you want them."
  • Malcolm in the Middle: When the boys are vandalizing the billboard image of a stripper, Reese begins to write a speech bubble saying "I WANT REESE", but must halt before can write anything more than "I WANT RE". Malcolm takes advantage of this to cover their tracks, finishing the graffiti as "I WANT RESPECT" and claiming that they were trying to make a statement for women's rights.
  • Masterchef Junior tries to play it straight in an early episode...unfortunately, the one trying to swap it was Gordon Ramsay, who ended up yelling "Shit!" in front of a bunch of kids when he's doused with heavy cream. He tries to switch it to "sugar", but the post-production bleep makes it clear he's too late.
  • Moon Knight (2022): After Steven Grant wakes up from what he thinks is a nightmare of him being in the Alps and chased by a cult, he goes to his fishtank and realizes that his goldfish Gus — who was established to having only one fin — somehow has two. He proceeds to go, "What the fish?!"
  • My Family: "Oh come on Dad! I'm no longer a virrrrrrrry naive person!" In a minor subversion, the Last-Second Word Swap doesn't work.
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000:
    • Overdrawn at the Memory Bank:
      Pearl: Starring the late Raúl Juliá, a very wonderful actor. What was he doing in this piece of sh...surely very quality, quality programming.
    • MST3K episode Fire Maidens of Outer Space: Joel and the 'Bots are demonstrating that any sentence can be turned into sexual innuendo with the right vocal tone ("Does this TV have a ree-MOTE? Ooh!"). Crow, at the behest of his evil doppelganger Timmy (long story), is citing examples that are rather too on the nose, culminating in "She's built like a brick sh—" "CROW!" "sh-showboat."
    • The episode The Day the Earth Froze:
      Dr. Forrester: Oh blow it out your- experiment today is a Swedish fantasy called "The Day the Earth Froze".
  • A mild example from MythBusters:
    Jamie: That was definitely one of those "What the [pause] heck am I doing?" moments.
  • The Nanny:
    • Subversion:
      C.C. Babcock: I'd love to meet the man who's taking you away from
      Niles: Oh, nice save!
    • On another occasion, when Fran substitutes for C.C. to schmooze an investor:
      C.C. Babcock: He is throwing money at us, and she didn't even have to put out! (pause) Hors d'oeuvres! The cat!
    • There was an episode where Maxwell tries to keep Maggie from spending a whole vacation making out with boys, and wants to send her to a convent in Switzerland. Fran suggests sending Maggie on a kibbutz instead, because she remembers having a good time on hers, but then tries to take back her suggestion when she realizes the only reason she enjoyed her kibbutz was because that was where she lost her..."hat".
  • In an episode of NCIS, Ziva reads a report from her computer about a protester who smeared the side of a building with horse- *Beat* ...manure.
    • In a later episode, "Alibi", Tony sees a photo of a person of interest, a gorgeous woman, with a visibly older man (her husband):
      Tony: That little man must have a big, big... [sees Gibbs glaring at him] bank account.
  • Odd Squad:
    • In "How to Interrogate a Unicorn", when Olive, Oscar and Otto are in the Mathroom gathering their interrogation answers into one chart, they ask what kind of food each book character likes. Oscar and Olive both say "carrots", and Otto appears to say "carrots" as well, but it turns out to be "caramel corn".
    • The trope ends up being invoked by Oprah in "Recipe for Disaster" when she takes advantage of Olive and Otto's names both beginning with the same "Aww" sound to choose whom she wants to go first in telling the story of how a vortex appeared in the park. Olive ends up being picked.
    • This exchange ensues in "Reindeer Games" when Oprah caves in, decides to be nice for Christmas, and gives Olaf access to her juice bar.
    Oscar: Ms. O, uh...can- can I have a juice?
    Oprah: NOOOOO-YES!!
  • Frequently used by Del and others on Only Fools and Horses "Fff..for Gawd's sake, Rodney!"
  • In the power outage episode of Other Space, Tina tries and fails when caught using emergency power to watch YouTube-equivalent cat videos.
    Tina: Oh, we're just looking at the ...spaceship ...excuse. I am really not quick on my feet.
  • Paper Girls: KJ tries to ask Lauren, her future girlfriend, when she'd known she's into women, but then changes this to movies instead as she's too nervous. Lauren pretty clearly sees through this, though, with the subtext in her answer clear enough that KJ can't help but understand what's really being said.
  • Primeval: Stephen's reaction to getting a whiff of sulphurous Precambrian fog from an Anomaly to the face:
    "Smells like sh... something rotting!"
  • From Psych:
    Lassiter: I have one thing to say to you, Spencer. Kiss my sweet—
    (a nun walks past)
    Lassiter: biscuits.
    Gus: I don't think you made that any less offensive.
    • Another episode has Shawn say this to his father who is lying unconscious in a hospital bed, though this time it's Played for Drama:
      "I love you...r French toast."
  • Used by Olive on Pushing Daisies:
    Olive: Tell Ned I love...his pies.
  • In Quantum Leap, Al is talking about a very attractive photographer.
    Al: She has the biggest, lenses.
  • In the Saturday Night Live sketch "Lazy Sunday", Adam Samberg and Chris Parnell express their love for the Chronic— What? —cles of Narnia.
  • Saved by the Bell: The New Class:
    • Eric wears a wig to pose as a girl in a girls' gym class for a school radio program segment in the episode "The Last to Know". Rachel, who takes Eric to the girls' gym class teacher, introduces Eric as "Eric... a. Erica!", in order to keep the masquerade going. The gym teacher lets Eric in without question.
    • While brainstorming for ideas for a Renaissance Faire fundraiser during the episode "Renaissance Faire", Rachel and the guy for the episode come up with one that appeals to Mr. Belding enough to not only approve of it but suggest that they be featured in itnote . This trope gets overlapped with Verbal Backspace in the following conversation:
    Mr. Belding: Anybody approved?
    Other Students Who Are Present: Aye.
    Ryan: Nay.
    Rachel: Ryan.
    Ryan: Na... sal congestion. *sniffle*
  • From the final episode of Seinfeld: "I love You—...United Airlines."
  • From an episode of Sherlock:
    Mrs. Hudson: What did he say?
    Sherlock: F-
    (cut to Dr. Watson's office)
    Dr. Watson: Cough
    Mrs. Hudson: Oh, my!
  • Skins: Emily's and Katie's mother has problem dealing with life's curve-balls. Her daughter's girlfriend is trying to play the perfect host:
    Mom: Look at her swarming around, like she did nothing wrong!
    Katie: (coming to grips with things) ...she hasn't.
    Mom: I want the best for Emily, and she isn't!
    Katie: How do you know?
    Mom: Mums knows these things, you realize that some day.
    Katie: Are you really going to leave dad?
    Mom: I never thought that we would split up. But then I never thought that I would be evicted from our home, that my daughter would be a rebellious. People always let you down, princess. They fuck things up!
  • Star Trek: Voyager
    • In "Warlord" Kes is taken over by a Body Surf villain, who then captures Tuvok, the Vulcan security officer who has been instructing Kes on how to use her Psychic Powers. Evil!Kes taunts Tuvok that he's secretly Hot for Student. "All those hours you spent alone together, all that time you spent touching each others...minds."
    • In "Survival Instinct", Captain Janeway asks Kim and Paris if they won a tennis-like game they were playing against some aliens. Paris assures her they did, and Kim chimes in, "We kicked their...rackets."
  • A Taxi episode had Louie addressing Latka as "you dumb fff...oreigner".
  • That '70s Show played this trope straight twice, and then subverted it.
    • While the gang is discussing Playboy girls:
      Hyde: True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's.
      Kelso: Yeah, they are.
      Eric: You're dreaming. It's like comparing (Red walks in) Exodus and Deuteronomy, both of which have taught us very valuable lessons! Oh, hi Dad!
    • And again:
      Hyde: Because Barbara's are bigger than... (Kitty comes in) The Walls of Jericho, which as we all know came tumbling down, right?!
    • And finally:
      Hyde: Sounds like your dad is losing it.
      Kelso: Jeez. He's like this now, he's gonna be a total headcase if they shut down the plant. He's just gonna be this pathetic guy (Red enters) WITH BREASTS THE SIZE OF WATERMELONS!
    • In another episode:
      Eric: I stole my dad's tap! (sees Red) Back from those thieves!
    • On one occasion, Eric regurgitates a bunch of bad advice from his friends to get into Donna's pants.
      Donna: You've been listening to those idiots in the basement, haven't you?
      Eric: No. (realizes he's been given an out) Yes!
  • In A Touch of Frost, Inspector Frost is being disrespectful to his superior as usual.
    Frost: Horn-rimmed Harry can stick it up his aahhh hello sir!
    • It should be noted that this particular joke has been used quite a few times in television and theater.
  • In the episode of Traffic Cops titled "Hidden Treasures", one of the cops says that he thinks a drug dealer has hidden some drugs up his butt. Narrator Jamie Theakston then says: "If he has, the man's in deep ... trouble."
  • In "In the Line of Fur" from Turner & Hooch (2021), Scott Jr. is having trouble getting Hooch to focus on the things he wants him to focus on. Erica, who is doing the training, tells him "You'll get it. You're so good looking... good at looking for things, like your keys."
  • Intentionally done by Veronica in Veronica Mars. When one of the characters in the programme that Veronica hates tells her that they were dealing with some trouble, Veronica says, "Trouble with a capital "T", that rhymes with "C", that stands for..." When her father objects she replies, "What? I was going to say "cute."
  • In The Vicar of Dibley, Geraldine has just been blindsided by someone who came into the room without knocking.
    Geraldine: Oh, fuc...rying out loud!
  • In an episode of Wonderfalls, Aaron mentions the human instincts to "fight, flee or"
  • On an episode of Yes, Dear, Kim goes "Oh, shhhhhh… sugar" because there are kids around. Either Dominic or Logan looks up at her and says "I know what you wanted to say."
  • In Yellowjackets's episode 1.2 "F Sharp", Misty has been putting her first aid skills to use on her fellow survivors. She is looking for something to disinfect Coach Scott's wound.
    Van: Guys, how about this? (holds up bottle of Sea Breeze astringent from Jackie's bag)
    Jackie: Hey, that's m...
    (Van, whom Jackie left to die in the burning plane, gives her a Death Glare)
    Jackie: Uh... A great idea, Van.
  • Happens quite a bit in Young Blades:
    • At the end of the extended version of "Da Vinci's Notebook", Ramon finishes his poem about how everyone gets a girl except him with:
      I love a good rack... of lamb to taste.
    • Again in the extended version of "Coat of Arms":
      Maybe I was distracted by the beautiful Emanuelle
      If D'Artagnan tries, he can go to — [stabs] well...
    • In "Rub-a-Dub Sub":
      D'Artagnan: There's nothing like lowering yourself into a soothing, warm body...of...water.
    • In "The Invincible Sword", Jacqueline tells Louis that she will "sleep across [his]… doorway every night," although this is probably an unintentional case.
    • In a deleted scene from "Four Musketeers and a Baby", when women are swooning over the Highwayman:
      Jacqueline: To see women act like that — it makes me ashamed to be a...
      Siroc: To be a what?
      Jacqueline: To be a man who has to see women act like that, that's what.
      Siroc & Ramon: (confused looks)

  • "Chicken Attack", by Schmoyoho
    You should know by my stride
    And the look in my eye
    That you are about to be massively
    forced to give up.
  • Many, many playground songs, such as "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat".
  • "Polka Dot Undies" by Bowser & Blue is a novelty song built entirely around this trope.
    Well, I went for a drive in my pickup truck.
    I picked up my girl, 'cause I wanted to...
    Show her my gloves, 'cause she had on her mitts,
    And I blushed brightly when she showed me her...
    Perfume that she buys whenever Avon calls,
    So I took off my pants, and I showed her my...
    Polka-dot undies!
  • And before that, "Shaving Cream" by Benny Bell repeatedly sets up each verse for a Last-Second Word Swap with the same substitution:
    I have a sad story to tell you
    It may hurt your feelings a bit
    Last night as I walked into my bathroom
    I stepped in a big pile of
    Shaving cream, be nice and clean
    Shave every day and you'll always look keen!
  • Following this trend, Hayseed Dixie's "Poop In A Jar" cleverly swaps in a word that, while not as offensive, means exactly the same thing as the word it's replacing:
    How could I ever fergit
    That you're a piece of... poop?
  • A popular French song, La Jeune Fille du Métro (The Young Maiden of the Subway) is completely based on this trope, each verse concluded with a pause, followed by a an innocent sentence replacing a much more obvious, shorter, and naughtier conclusion.
  • Similarly, a popular song in Spanish, Pican los mosquitos (Mosquitos bite) is based on this trope, each verse running into the start of the next one instead of the obvious curse.
  • "FTK" from Guitar Hero II is a heavily-Bowdlerised version of the Vagiants' song "Fuck the Kells", with most of the changes applying to one or two words at a time ("fuck" becomes "frack", "the whole fuckin' NFL" becomes "the whole entire NFL"). However, the line "You can take this bar, and shove it up your fuckin' ass!" becomes..."You can take this car, and fill it up with tons of gas!" It's pretty clear they just went for goofy rather than reasonable substitution on that one.
    • To add a bit of insult to injury, they went and added a lead guitar track to this version that wasn't in the original, and the song is kind of boring without it, so the only way you can buy the song with it in is to get the cheesy Bowdlerised version.
  • Often used by George Formby:
    • One of his songs, called "With Me Little Ukulele In Me Hand" (no more needs be said than the title).
      • Parodied by The Fast Show by having a Formbyesque character singing Formbyised versions of Prince songs.
      • Skins used this exact song during a scene where JJ plays with his ukulele.
  • Often used by Allan Sherman in his efforts to avoid saying the word "ass." Examples:
    • "Get Me To The Temple On Time" — "...some new shoes to break the glass. Tell all my old friends they can kiss my BRIDE."
    • "Hello Mudduh, Hello Faddah (Live version)" — "...They've got style here, they've got class here. And if you're not careful you could lose your CHIPS here."
  • Dinah Shore's (utterly non-suggestive) hit "Sweet Violets".
    • Bran Van 3000's song "More Shopping" borrows a couple of these, swapping between the two vocalists each time there's a dodgy line.
  • The Assumption Song.
  • Tim Minchin's Taboo
  • Jonathan Richman's "Monologue About Bermuda" tells the story of when he was an overly serious young musician who went to Bermuda with his band and had his outlook changed by a local band who convinced him that fun music is cool, too. He was blown away by a song of theirs that went "Bang, bang, Lulu/ Lulu ran away/ Lulu had to go bang, bang, that's why she ran away/ Lulu had a boyfriend/ Name was Tommy Tucker/ Took her out to his house to see if he could/ Bang, bang, Lulu/ Lulu ran away..."
  • Bo Burnham
    • Inverted with Rehab For Fictional Characters.
      Tony the Tiger: Everyday I wake up, and I get to work late,
      My boss says "Hey, what's up?" I say I'm grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowing tired of this shit.
    • My Whole Family....
      Bo: Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, makes them think I like...boys.
    • He concludes Country Song with this.
      Bo: And I'll be upfront, I do what I do, 'cause I'm total fucking cunt—try boy.
  • The Who's song "My Generation": Many listeners interpret the line "why don't you all fff-fade away?" as a Cluster F-Bomb swapped at the last second. Nobody knows for sure. Word of God says it's supposed to represent angst amongst the youth.
  • In Mika's "Lollipop", I always have to wonder if he really wants to sing it, or if it's just what he had to sing it as:
    Take a look at the girl next door,
    she's a player and a down right bore,
    • Especially considering the next lines:
    Jesus loves her, she wants MORE,
    oh, bad girls get you down!
  • The song "Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals" sung by Gilda Radner in her concert on Broadway subverts this.
    But never tell an alligator, "Bite my..." No!
    Never tell an alligator, "Bite my..." Yes!
    Never tell an alligator, "Bite my... SNATCH!"
  • From P.D.Q. Bach's "The Art of the Ground Round":
    Nelly is a nice girl, but Hannah is a (w)hor(e)
    —rrible prude
    Bob is a policeman, but Peter is a
    —ly and rude young man
  • Jethro Tull's "Quizz Kid":
    They'll wine you, dine you, undermine you
    Better not bring the wife
  • Sugarland's "It Happens"
    Irrefutable, indisputable
    The fact is psssh it happens
  • The Scared Weird Little Guy's Christmas Song is an entire song full of this trope - which then entirely blows up at the end of the song.
  • The entire point of Mitch Benn's "Not Bitter"; a song about how the singer is totally okay that his girlfriend left him.
    You bitch, you bitch, you bitch,
    You betcha life I'll be okay.
    Ya whore, ya whore, ya whore,
    Ya horoscope told you it was the right thing to do today.
    You slut, you slut, you slut,
    Use lots of self-control and don't turn around.
    You cow, you cow, you cow,
    You count on it, I won't be breaking down.
  • "The Clean Song" is made of this trope:
    There once was a sailor who looked through the glass
    Spied a fair mermaid with scales on her—
    Island where seagulls flew over their nests.
    She combed the long hair that hung over her—
    Shoulders. It caused her to tickle and itch.
    The sailors cried out, "It's a beautiful—
    Mermaid a-sitting out there on the rocks!"
    The sailors rushed forward, all grabbing their—
    Glasses and crowding four-deep to the rail...
    • It goes on like that for the entire song.
  • "World's Dirtiest Song" follows a similar structure - until the final verse.
    Lick on his candies so tasty, made of butterscotch, and then he spread whipped cream all over her
    Cookies that she had been baking all night. If you think this is dirty, you're fucking well right!
  • Emilie Autumn plays it for horror in "Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches":
    Miss Lucy had some leeches, her leeches liked to suck
    And when they drank up all her blood she didn't give a
    Funny when the doctors had locked her in her cell
    Miss Lucy screamed all night that they should go to bloody
    Hello to the surgeon with scalpel old and blunt
    He'll tie you to the table and he'll mutilate your—
  • The Grammar Club's "Suck My Wallet" has a great one for its chorus, though the name of the song sort of gives it away:
    Rock and roll ain't got no soul.
    Just a dick and a wallet, and you can suck my...wallet.
  • Lit's "Miserable" plays with this trope in its chorus/opening lyrics:
    You make me come—
    You make me complete
    You make me completely miserable
  • In the song "In My Country" by the Lemon Sisters, the singer implores lonely sailors with great big cocktail-shakers to come and visit her country.
  • "Mr Brightside" by The Killers:
    Now I'm falling asleep / and she's calling a cab
    While he's having a smoke / and she's taking a drag
    Now they're going to bed / and my stomach is sick
    And it's all in my head / but she's touching his...
    chest now
    He takes off her dress now...
  • And that's a double dose of this trope from Carcass' "Don't Believe a Word":
    ''I promise to tell the truth
    The whole truth and nothing but...
    Lies — you believe them all
    Lies — you swallow them whole
    Lies, lies, half truths misinformation and...
    Lies — you believe them all
    Lies — you swallow them whole
    Lies, lies, half truths misinformation and...
  • Johnny Horton's "The Battle of New Orleans":
    Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
    If we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked 'em in the eye
    We held our fire 'til we seed their faces well
    Then we opened up our squirrel guns and really gave 'em...welllllll, we...
  • Also played with in Homer and Jethro's parody, "The Battle of Kookamonga":
    ''Well, our counselor said we could take 'em by surprise
    If we didn't say a word 'til we looked 'em in the eyes
    We kept real still and we had our eyes a-glued
    We saw how they were dressed, they were swimmin' in the...welllllll now!
  • "The Black Painting Song" by Matrin Pearson:
    Using brushes is not chic,
    Body contact is the thing you seek,
    You should paint using your hands and feet,
    I suspect you painted this one with your ass...ass...asking for the gallery
  • A certain (unofficial) school song: "Within our ancient, ivied halls / Smith women show they've got some poise."
  • In Anna Russell's grand-opera spoof "Anaemia's Death Scene," the dying Anaemia refers to her Unwanted Fiancé as a "miserable old...baritone."
  • A double subverted lyric with different words than you'd think - Hieroglyphics' Throw it in Ya Grill:
    A little bit of this is all I need
    Can't wait to get home and smoke some salmon
    Throw it in ya grill, then called my seed (scene?)
    And when the street lights go off, we're jammin
    • Not where you thought they'd go with that, was it?
  • Roy Zimmerman lives for this trope. Combined with his frequent subverted rhymes, you can never be 100% sure how a line will end, but unless you know the lyrics ahead of time, you can almost guarantee that the line won't end how you think it will. One good example is One World, One Bank
    "I see a future where we're all in one big tent together talking
    On cell phones, to people in some other tent somewhere
    And I see a future where poverty and starvation have been eliminated
    From all news coverage

    I see a future where there are no wars
    Just corporate-sponsored police actions with play-by-play on ESPN
    And I see a future where concern for privacy is a thing of the past
    Because privacy, my friends, is a thing of the past."
  • Tom Lehrer's (spoken) introduction to his song "Lobachevsky", on the live album Tom Lehrer Revisited:
    For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director Stanislavsky and the secret of success in the acting profession. And I thought it would be interesting to st— to adapt this idea to the field of mathematics.
  • The song Deutschland by the German band Die Prinzen starts out as a tongue-in-cheek song praising the positive attributes of Germany and Germans. After the second chorus the singer starts sounding increasingly serious, nationalistic and subtly reminiscent of Those Wacky Nazis, culminating in the line "Wir können stolz auf Deutschland..." (We can [...] proud of Germany...). But instead of finishing it with "sein" (the German word for "be", which should go at the end of the sentence in this case) the band starts chanting the word "Schwein" (swine/pig), a common German insult and the band's favourite word, to show that the preceding passage was just satire.
  • Matt Nathanson's "Come on Get Higher"
    "I see angels and devils and God when you come... on get higher"
  • "Take a Hint" by Victoria Justice and Elizabeth Gillies:
    "But it always seems to bite me in the...Ask me for my number"
  • Jason Mraz's Geek In The Pink: "Well, I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums/Who wouldn't care if you come...plete them or not."
  • From the fantastic song "Hot Problems" by Double Take:
    They see my blonde hair, blue eyes and class, but they don't know I have a very big heart.
  • Played with in the song "Add It Up" by The Violent Femmes:
    I guess it's got something to do with luck
    But I've waited my whole life for just one...
    Day after day
    why can't I get just one fuck
  • Alice Cooper's song "I Love America" had these lines:
    I love my bar and I love my truck
    I'd do most anything to make a buck
    I love a waitress who loves to... flirt!
  • Generally cuss-free "Weird Al" Yankovic had a couple in his early-years catalog:
    • In 'Belvedere Cruisin'': "Datsuns just ain't worth a fudgesickle, no!"
    • In 'It's Still Billy Joel To Me": "It's a big hit, isn't it, even if it's a piece of junk..."
    • And also by proxy, as Al and Dr. Demento sang themselves a round of "Shaving Cream" now and again.
    • He still has one or two in his later songs — one line in "I'm So Sick of You" has him singing "you don't have an ounce of class, you're just one big pain in the neck!"
  • Minecraft Is For Everyone by Starbomb - This is played straight by the Creeper when trying not to swear:
    I have to admit, I just might lose it, having to give up my favorite things is funky bullshrimp!
  • Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow":
    If you save yourself for marriage you're a bore
    If you don't save yourself for marriage you're a hor—rible person...
  • Victor Borge, in his "Lost Mozart Opera", described the stage for the opera as having two huge trees, on on either side of the stage. When the voluptuous soprano sings her 'death aria', he then said, "And then she stabs herself, right between the two huge trees!"
  • One of the final lyrics of the C. W. McCall song "Convoy" is this:
    "So keep your thumbs off your glass and the bears off your ......tail."
  • In "Bang Bang" by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj:
    You've got a very big (shhhh)
    Mouth, but don't say a thing
  • Meghan Trainor's Dear Future Husband:
    "And I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed,
    You best cooperate and you might get some.....kisses"
  • Ozma's "No One Needs To Know" is a song about cheating in a relationship, where the narrator goes from persuading the other woman to keep it a secret in the verses to falsely proclaiming his fidelity in the chorus, almost as though the person he's cheating on keeps walking in on the middle of the song. Where this trope comes in is the transitions between the two sections:
    No one needs to know
    No one needs to know - One needs to know.... note 
    If a lover's being faithful
    One needs to know if a lover's being true
    One needs to know if a lover's being faithful
    And I'm being faithful to you
  • The Chalkeaters' song COUNT TO THREE, which teases Valve's apparent inability to release a game with "3" in its name, has Gabe Newell singing this at one point:
    I had it all but tried new things, true
    It didn't get us very far
    Between controllers and machines, you
    Still picked a rusty old crowbar
    Nobody sees beyond my charming self
    A soul that's never truly free
    So just for once, forget the summer sale
    And give it up for Half-Life... Alyx
  • Eminem, "Yellow Brick Road":
    I've heard people say they heard the tape and it ain't that bad, but it was:
    I singled out a whole race, and for that, I apologize. I was wrong.
    ‘Cause no matter what color a girl is, she's still a — soooo let's go back...
  • Remy's Song Parody of Gayle's "abcdefu" has him go "A-B-C-D-E-F2" instead of the original's "A-B-C-D-E-F-U". The last-minute swap is visually represented in the music video, which zooms in on the U button and has Remy's finger hover over it before moving to F2.
  • Used by The Stupendium in the song "Wool Over Our Eyes" when the Lamb is explaining the rules of the Cult to the latest indoctrinee.
    And every second spare, you'd best remember to keep filled
    In reverent prayer and penance, lest dissenters will be kill-
    -ecting up the mess until they find their crimes regrettable.

    Puppet Shows 
  • Done in Muppet Treasure Island, as Mrs. Bluberidge is closing up for the night.
    Mrs. Bluberidge: Don't forget to come back tomorrow for our lunchtime special! Roast suckling...
    Muppet pig: Huh?
    Mrs. Bluberidge: ...potatoes!
    Muppet potato: Hmpf!
    Mrs. Bluberidge: No offense meant, ma'am, no offense!
  • Used to great effect at least a couple of times in the Jeff Dunham video "Achmed thanks... uh... "interviews", President Joe Biden."
    Achmed: No! I am Achme.. anderson Blitzer!
    Achmed: Yes, you're so cluele... clearly like a nice guy.

  • I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue's Limericks game is halfway between this and Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: each player has to make up one line of a limerick that goes with the previous ones according to the AABBA rhyming scheme, so the earlier players often deliberately set up words that obviously rhyme with something obscene. Then the later players scramble to come up with something else (which may also be dirty), subverting the audience's expectations and leading to a laugh. Example (where the subverted rhyme is "hysterectomy"):
    A woman once said: "What the heck" to me,
    "You look like a physical wreck to me,
    You're a leery old gent —
    However, come to my tent,
    Though it doesn't look very erect to me."
  • Cabin Pressure. It doesn't do to insult passengers, even when they're your obnoxious sister.
    Carolyn: All I want is to tell you exactly where you can go, Ruth, and THAT is to—
    Douglas: Carolyn.
    Carolyn: —Helsinki.
  • The Navy Lark: While stranded in a lifeboat on Loch Ness, CPO Pertwee attempts to keep everyone's spirits up by singing a (presumably) Bawdy Song, only to be forced into a last second word swap by a threatening interjection from Commander Murray.
    Pertwee: (singing) Oh, there once was a sailor named Kelly
    Who, when not reading poems by Shelley,
    Would slide on the grass
    On the seat of his...
    Murray: CHIEF!
    Pertwee: ...shovel
    Shouting "Look what's tattooed on my belly!"

  • In Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues, Finn asks Ivy to recount her day for him. She nearly tells him that she and her friends had kidnapped an author, stops at 'ki-', panics because it sounds like she was going to say she killed him, and instead ends up saying that she 'kindled' him (as in, she looked him up with her Kindle).

    Stand-Up Comedy 
Played with in George Carlin's Jammin' in New York:
Y'ever been talking to yourself and someone comes in the room and you have to make believe you were singing? [Dance moves] And you hope to God the other person really believes there's a song called "What Does She Think I Am, Some Kind Of Putz?"

  • The Wedding Singer:
    • Used in The Musical, when Robbie starts singing Madonna's "Material Girl."
      Robbie: Because we are living in a material world, and I am a material...guy...
    • Also seems like it's going to be used in "Rosie's Letter," but then subverted. In fact, a word is added.
      Rosie: Because Linda is a filthy rotten... skanky whore!
  • From the Reduced Shakespeare Company's (musical) version of Othello:
    And Iago loved Desi like Adonis loved Venus / And Desi loved Othello cuz he had a big - SWORD! Yes he did!
  • And William Shakespeare himself in Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 2. Presumably the avoided word was "ass".
    Hamlet: For thou must know, oh Damon dear, this realm dismantled was
    Of Jove himself and now reigns here a very, very—pajock.
    Horatio: You might have rhymed.
  • "Without You", from My Fair Lady:
    Eliza: You, dear friend, who talk so well / You can go to...Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire!
  • In "The Worst Pies in London" from Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street:
    Mrs. Lovett: Ain't that just revolting
    All greasy and gritty
    It looks like it's molting
    And tastes like...well, pity...
  • In "Warts and All" from HONK!:
    The Bullfrog: If you just sit tight on your lily pad
    Each silly fad will pass
    Then those who sport this season's look
    Will fall flat on their ass...k your mother what it's called
  • Subverted and then played straight in Hamilton. The first time Hamilton reads Reynolds's letter, the line "You see, that was my wife you decided to fuck'' is censored by ... Hamilton saying fuck. The second time, Jefferson cuts over with a "whaaaaat!".
  • In "March of the Witch Hunters" from Wicked, Boq, or the Tin Man, starts to refer to Elphaba by name, but then thinks better of it, possibly because it gives away that he knew her from before and possibly because he know longer considers her the girl he knew when he was in school.
    Tin Man: And this is more than just a service to the Wizard. I have a personal score to settle with El... with the Witch!
  • Beetlejuice: Lydia fakes out Betelguese multiple times in "Say My Name" when she says his name twice in a row... then says something else.

    Video Games 
  • Happens several times with the Narrator in BattleBlock Theater.
    "Boy, he was pi-he was mad!"
    "The staff is sick of Hatty's bullsh-B, uh...nonsense!"
  • Played deadly serious in the opening cinematic of Diablo III expansion Reaper of Souls, just after the New Horadrim stored the Black Soulstone for safekeeping.
    Tyrael: You have done well, Horadrim. Your service here is finished. You should all... [Cue Sinister Scraping Sound]
  • In the third Gex game, he says, "How 'bout I shove my foot up your...shoe?". In the first game however, he clearly says, "Ass" once, albeit not in literal context.
  • I Was a Teenage Exocolonist, if you tell your mom what you've learned for the day, she'll compliment you for "getting your sh— I mean head together."
  • Jak 3: Wastelander
    Sig: It's gonna be a big pile.
    Daxter: (holding Sig's Peacemaker) Yeah, a big pile of sh—ould I cock this?
  • Kingdom of Loathing:
    • The "pirate pamphlet", quoth the in-game description, "contains helpful tips on all manner of pirate activities, such as swabbing, quaffing, pillaging, and, rapier-sharpening."
    • And on using its peppermint pip packet: "You pop open the packet of peppermint pips and put them in the pocks you poked with your p... your finger."
    • The description of the "shoo-fish pie" states that it's "made out of fish guts and molasses. Hey, at least it's not mole guts and fish — y'know what? Never mind."
  • In the Fan Remake of King's Quest II, the subject of the insult does this for the would-be insulter, and it also gets a Lampshading:
    Graham: Why you...
    Hagatha: Witch?
    Valanice: I'm sure it would have rhymed.
  • Left on Read: Many times during a conversation, the protagonist will type out what he really wants to say to his crush, but will quickly backspace it and type a much safer response. This even happens when the option to ask her out is present among the choices, and choosing it will have the protagonist backpedaling on it, anyway.
  • In The Legend of Heroes: Trails from Zero, Ilya says that there's no way that Arc en Ciel can cancel their performance, despite the threat of the assassin Yin. Troupe Leader Avan agrees that they all belong to the stage, heart and soul, despite them not all being quite as insa-...passionate as Ilya.
  • The Longest Journey: The Gribbler drops some subtle hints that she might be a little bit evil:
    The Gribbler: I was out picking bones— uh, berries, for my stew, and flowers, yeeess, pretty flowers...

    The Gribbler: Oh, I'm no one, no one at all, just a frail, old woman out picking booones— uh, berries, picking berries, for her stew so she can feed her prisoners— uh, guests, so she can fatten them up for... um, the long winter...

    The Gribbler: I still need your help, plump pudd— um, nice pretty girl, [...] Help me home and I'll cook you... um, a nice stew! Yum, I'm getting hungry already *growl*...

    The Gribbler: Oh, what have we here, this... "stew", isn't good enough to stuff yo— um, to serve, a guest as plump— as well built and deliciou— as honoured as you, my dear...
  • In Love & Pies, Esme wants to give whoever cut the brakes in her van a "swift kick in the b— well..."
  • In Mass Effect 3, Jack's not allowed to swear in front of her students. At one point she tells Joker "Screw you, f...flight lieutenant!"
  • Psychonauts: "And I'll kick your ASS...tral projection out of here, too."
  • In Puyo Puyo!! 20th Anniversary, Feli tries to ask Lemres out on a date, struggling to say the word "date" and ultimately swapping it out for "delicious", as in a "delicious" Puyo battle.
  • Buy an overpriced Amulet of Annihilation from a shady vendor in Secret of Evermore, and he'll wind up surprised that you spent so much money on a "worthless piece of jewelry."
  • Sonic the Hedgehog:
  • Splatoon: In the British English localization, when the Squid Sisters announce Walleye Warehouse as one of the stages, sometimes they'll have this exchange:
    Callie: Off in a remote corner of the warehouse, two young Inklings are...
    Marie: BATTLING!
  • During one of the bonding skits in Tales of Arise at the campfires with Dohalim, Dohalim asks Alphen to consider what he wants to do with his future, aside from fighting. Considering this, Alphen comments of Dohalim that, "I guess you've got things like your music and ju— I mean antique collecting — to look forward to, after all."
  • Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, while Drake is being chased on a train by an attack helicopter, he comes across a large vehicle that ends up being an anti-air attack tank.
    Nate: How the hell am I supposed to shoot down a hel-lo.
  • Undertale:
    • After befriending Undyne, you can call her and Papyrus on the phone. Calling them in the room where you hide in the grass after Undyne lobs spears at you prompts this exchange.
      Undyne: If it wasn't for that grass, I'd have kicked your... Uh, if not for that grooty, I'd have kicked your booty.
      (call her again)
      Undyne: Don't ask what a grooty is!!!
    • At the very start of the game, Flowey tries to trick you into believing that the white bullets he shoots are "friendliness pellets." If you dodge them enough times, he will lose his temper and tell you to "RUN. INTO. THE. BULLETS!!!", before replacing "Bullets" with "friendliness pellets" (in lowercase, unlike the rest of the sentence), a surprisingly literal version of this trope.
    • Deltarune: If Kris does not have enough space in their inventory to hold the item Spamton transforms into, Spamton gets angry and goes on a rant. Part of his rant includes "WHAT! THE! [F" with the dialogue box pausing a long time on the "F..." before he finishes it with "ifty Percent Off]!?"
  • In one chapter of The Walking Dead, Kenny asks if Lee can pick a lock because he's... "urban".
  • In World of Warcraft you can fish coins out of the Dalaran Fountain. A lot of well-known characters from the Warcraft universe have done a wish you can read when you fish up their coin. Aegwynn, who doesn't like the mages of Dalaran, wished the following:
    Aegwynn: I really wish you mages would get your head out from inside your own...books.
  • An early version of X-Plane had this description of the B-52: "Known by pilots as the BUFF: Big Ugly Flying Fu- um...Fellow."

    Visual Novels 
  • Analogue: A Hate Story provides a rare text-based example. The A.I., *Hyun-ae, will edit her sentences in real time to make the things she writes to you seem less affectionate and/or desperate. In Ending 2, she tries this several times in succession, then gives up and flat-out admits she's deeply in love with you.
  • Ace Attorney:
    • The first part has this gem from April May:
    "I like a man with a big...vocabulary."
  • In Kindred Spirits on the Roof, an unlockable side scene has Kiri talk with Youka after the latter kisses Aki, the girl she loves, after a school concert. Kiri says she's rooting for Youka, but asks her to be careful, and is about to add that the latter is "stupid" before she changes it to "brash" instead. Youka notes that it hurts more when Kiri corrects herself.

    Web Animation 
  • Sam & Mickey: In "McBurgers", Ken calls Barbie, "a whor...ible mother!"
  • Fred The Monkey: In the year of the monkey song, after Fred sings "Not the bottle-nose dolphin, not the year of the wicked witch!" to which Sceb replies with "Shut up you son of a bi-scuit!"
  • Teen Girl Squad episode #7: "I saw Tompkins in his under—where're you going?"
  • Ultra Fast Pony: In "Utter Lunacy", Spike the dragon disguises himself (as another dragon).
    Twilight: What is your name, anyway?
    Spike: My name be Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii... der.
    Twilight: Well, Spider the double dragon...
  • Zero Punctuation:
    • A non-profane example from the review of Portal 2, after Yahtzee had expressed his hatred of the "cake" meme: "the icing on the... French Fancy!"
    • A less worksafe, one, however, from his review of LittleBigPlanet: "There's a very in-depth level designer built in, with a host of tutorials, you'll be tempted to go through just to have Stephen Fry's voice tonguing your coc...hlea for hours on end."
    • At the beginning of his review of Tomb Raider: Anniversary, Yahtzee vows not to make a single reference to female breasts throughout the rest of the video. At around the halfway point, we get this:
    Yahtzee: If you leave her for a while, Lara does these shamefully erotic stretches, and whenever she comes out of water she's realistically wet and glistening. It kind of takes me back to when I was fifteen and playing the original Tomb Raider and I'd back her up into a corner to get the best view of her juicy — thighs. (a message flashes across the screen for a split-second saying, "Whew, that was a close one.")
  • Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls has the infamous "This is Americ— Japan!" moment.

  • The princess of darkness from Apricot Cookie(s)! pulls one when she's being angsty about her role:
    Princess: Stop, you're going to make me tear up
    Director of Darkness: Aww, you do care!
    Princess: my birth certificate so I'll never have to be associated with such a sycophantic monstrosity.
  • Bob and George: "That's the hand I use to m- er, write with."
  • Cut Time has Solus's letter:
    I don't want to alarm you, but there is someone after me and I had to run for safety. I'm in g̶o̶o̶d̵ capable hands now, but until we find out who sent the a̶s̵ spy, I can't say much else. [...] You'll know I'm a̵ doing well.
  • In Eerie Cuties, Cess and Laura try to recruit Chloe into their lates Zany Scheme to overthrow Layla as the school's alpha female. Cue Layla showing up to talk to Chloe right as Cess is about to say Layla's name. Cess and Laura hastily pretend to be singing.
    Cess: So, Chloe, now that we're pals, wouldn't it be neat if we became the school's new alpha females?
    Chloe: Whatever for?
    Laura: Well, someone has to!
    Cess: And you don't want it to be someone stuck up like Lay—
    [enter Layla]
    Cess and Laura: LAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! La la la, we are singing a merry tune!
  • Freefall When Mr Raibert learns of Mr Kornada's treachery from Florence, he promptly calls him a "son of a species that isn't yours".
  • Girl Genius:
  • In El Goonish Shive when Catalina, who constantly calls people "jackasses", is being interviewed on TV, she refers to her "'hands off, jacka' — er, Jack' whistle".
  • In Kevin & Kell, Kevin pulls this off right before the first challenge to Kell as CEO of Herd Thinners arrives:
    Kell: Kevin, no matter what happens, do not intervene in this fight!
    Kevin: No way! Kell, I'm not going to—
    (Kell growls at Kevin)
    Kevin: —ever disobey you.
    Kell: I love you. Now go burrow someplace safe.
  • Misho of Keychain of Creation manages to dodge an awful pun at the last moment: "Take that... rooster out of your mouth."
  • Left-Handed Toons: Prepare to... LIVE!!!
  • MeatShield: Dhur tries one here, but he's not very good at it.
  • The Order of the Stick:
    • In "Hawaiian Love", where Haley's deathbed confession is derailed by a handy heal spell from the party's cleric.
      Haley: I think I'm in love with y—
      Durkon: Cure Critical Wounds!
      (beat panel)
      Haley: —ukuleles.
    • Also rather harshly enforced by Haley in a much later strip.
      Tarquin: You remind me a bit of my fifth wife.
      Haley: Why? Was she a redhead too?
      Tarquin: No, but she had the most magnificent set of perky round...
      Haley: Eyes. Let's both pretend you were about to say "eyes".
      Tarquin: Fair enough.
  • In Rusty and Co., Malevolus is about to have a "You shall not pass" moment, then he looks at the adversaries and does the math.
    Malevolus: ... And if you want to reach the Inner Sanctum, you'll need to go...
    ... through... (looks at Rusty, then Cube, then think what happens when the both of them go through him)
    ... that tunnel there, then hang a right, then the next right, then straight on to the big doors.
  • Sleepless Domain: In chapter 20, one of the hospital workers changes her wording at the last second to avoid swearing in front of Vedika.
    Devin: Yeah, I've never seen this shi— uh, something like this.
  • Think Before You Think: In this comic, Julia remembers mid-sentence that her mom is in the room and doesn't know that Brian can read minds.
    Julia: You KNOW what I mean, you can read, e-mail.
  • Walking on Broken Glass: "And three is..."

    Web Original 
  • Bennett the Sage, while reviewing Jungle de Ikou!, feels embarrassed to learn that Barbara Goodson and Melissa Fahn provided voices for two major characters:
    Sage: "I know that the voice acting business isn't known for its dignity, but this is like finding children's birthday party clowns working the polll—lllls of Republican nominee hopeful Lindsey Graham!"
  • Brows Held High: Oancitizen does this in his A Serbian Film review, using the movie in an Aristocrats joke. Except when he gets to the final line, instead of calling the act 'The Aristocrats', he declares "Art" in a stern tone.
  • Commentary! The Musical:
    • In the song "Better Than Neil", Nathan Fillion sings about all the ways in which he's better than Neil Patrick Harris. There's one segment of the song where every line ends in "ness," with lines such as:
    Look at his smallness
    Compared to my tallness,
    • This goes on for a few counts of 8. He then sings:
    My wonderful me-ness,
    My hammer, the pe—ople can tell that I'm awfully swell.
  • Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv): Light complains that:
    Light: With so many cameras in my room I can't sew... my seeds of destruction!
  • Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
    • In the Cooler movie, Krillin ended up saying "porrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpoise" when he realized he was about to tell Oolong (a pig) that there was pork in the stew he was making. Oolong doesn't take it well when he finds out the truth.
    • Later on in the main series, Chiaotzu tries to do this when he finds himself in the same situation, but utterly fails. Oolong realizes to his horror that he's delicious.
    • In the Broly movie, Paragus does this to try to avoid triggering Broly.
      Paragus: Oh shit, it's Kaka-
      Broly: Argh!
      Paragus: -KU! Goku. Hello, Goku!
  • Evangelion Abridged, during its eighth episode, when the characters are discussing Asuka, only to find she's waiting at the top of the escalator they're riding:
    Misato: She's as energetic as a firefly!
    Toji: Yeah, I bet there's something burning up her ass-uka! Uh-oh.
  • In one Good Omens fanfic:
    Crowley: You quite liked the fu—
    Aziraphale: Crowley!
    Crowley: Fur rug in front of the fireplace, I was going to say. Thought I was going somewhere else with that, did you?
  • Key of Awesome: episode #8:
    Joker are you busy? Let's call a truce.
    I need you to help explain the plot to — Batman.''
  • The Nostalgia Critic, in his review of Total Recall, makes a clumsy one when That SciFi Guy invites himself.
    Critic: I was just doing a review of Total Recaaaaaahhhaaaa...nothing.
  • Philosophy Tube: In "Darwin vs. Marx" Thomas Malthus is mentioned as noting that humans rely on the "two fs", food and...mating.
  • In this Pokémon Musical, for some reason one of these rhymes was last-second swapped:
    Misty: Hey, Ash, baby are you ready to jet
    I'm the water-themed trainer and you make me so—

    Ash: Let's go pick up our old pal Brock
But the very next one wasn't...
Misty: Oh he's the poké-trainer with the really big—
Brock: Cock!
  • In Chapter 23.4 of Worm, Taylor and the Boston Wards spend some time talking with some middle schoolers about superpowers and becoming a superhero. When in the course of the conversation Taylor mentions that she made fifteen or twenty million dollars as a villain before her Heel–Face Turn, one of the heroes almost drops an S-bomb.
  • The Neon Genesis Evangelion song parody "Yo Shinji! Get in the Robot!" says that Asuka's home country is responsible for the "Holo...Graphic Map!"
  • Pikasprey Lost Content, instead of the usual Unused Content
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series:
    • In its second Christmas episode: "The Pharaoh awoke the very next day / Wearing an outfit that made him look — erm — handsome."
    • Also with the Paradox Brothers: "You may think us rather crass, But you can take your cards and stick them right up your...NOSE!" (Though it's doubly subverted in the next few lines, "You were supposed to say "ass", brother, I thought we rehearsed this!")
    • Joey: I'm in love with Mai Valentine...'s breasts.

    Western Animation 
  • Adventure Time: Distant Lands: In the song "Woke Up" from Obsidian, Marceline has the following to say about Princess Bubblegum:
    I should say
    That you're kind of a dic-
    tator in a way.
  • American Dragon: Jake Long While rapping in front of Jakes' Locked Out of the Loop father.
    Trixie: And Jake he keeps it on the level/ Taaking down the Jersey
    Spud: Bear!
  • Animaniacs:
    • In one "Dot's Poetry Corner", Dot recites "Ode to a Veggie":
      Dot: "Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more that you eat, the more you get kicked off the air if you finish this poem." Thank you.
    • Also in Dot's song I'm Cute:
      Dot: ♪ I never am vain ♪
      Yakko: ♪ She's becoming a pain in the...♪
      Dot: ♪ But...I'm also real nice. ♪
  • In Beast Machines, Rattrap exclaims, "Botanica! Am I glad to see you...'ve brought us this new power supply."
  • In the Biker Mice from Mars episode "Blue Cheese Bros", Vinnie gets close to saying that he, Throttle, and Modo are trapped like rats, but a glare from Modo, who hates being called a rat, persuades him to say "mice" instead.
  • Centaurworld: In "It's Hidin' Time", Ched compares how caves (supposedly) always have a second exit to how your mouth is connected to your... nostrils.
    Ched: A cave always has a hole on one end and another hole on the other. Look, think of it like how your mouth is connected to your-
    Horse: Nope.
    Ched: Nostrils. Alright? I'm not a heathen.
  • In Danny Phantom, after Danny manages to turn in his school report while struggling with ghost problems, Lancer admittedly enjoyed the report and grades Danny... with a C.
    Danny: C?! I almost got killed by a gho—rilla, and all I get is a C?!
  • Gravity Falls: In the season 1 finale "Gideon Rises", Soos almost reveals Dipper's crush on Wendy while Dipper is talking to Wendy.
    Dipper: You're leaving town!? But we need you here!
    Soos: Yeah, especially Dipper because of his giant crush on... you... calyptus trees! The kid loves eucalyptus trees, haha, hahahahaha! (beat) Saved it!
  • In the episode "Shadow of Skeletor" of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983), Prince Adam, Teela, and Man-At-Arms are onboard a small spaceship heading to one of Eternia's moons. An asteroid is heading their way, and Adam comes to realize that there's no way to avoid turning into He-Man in front of Teela (who is not a Secret-Keeper) and starts the first few words of By the Power of Grayskull!... only for Man-At-Arms to eliminate the threat mechanically. Teela then asks Adam what he was about to say... prompting him to make up the transparent lie that he was about to say, "By the way, Teela, remind me to show you my new vest." Teela, of course, concludes that Adam is an even bigger idiot than she thought... but still doesn't figure out there's more going on.
  • Kaeloo: In the episode "Let's Play Streetball", Mr. Cat is singing a rap song. All the words end with "alls".
    Mr. Cat [rapping]: He keeps breaking my b-
    Kaeloo: MISTER CAT! (Kaeloo starts Hulking Out)
    Mr. Cat: I meant walls!
    Stumpy: Keeps breaking my walls? What does that mean?
    • In the episode "Let's Play Ecologists", Mr. Cat almost calls Kaeloo a "mad old cow" in anger, but switches to "mad old ecologist" at the last moment.
  • In the Kim Possible episode "Go Team Go", Kim and two of Shego's Team Go brothers show up at Drakken's lair. Drakken tries to demand an explanation:
    Drakken: Shego, as long as you're going to live under my roof, you'll follow my rules. And rule number one: no secrets. Whatever is going on...
    (Shego lights up her plasma)
    Drakken: obviously a private matter.
  • In the King of the Hill episode Good Hill Hunting Hank is furious that his Jerkass neighbor Eustace got a deer hunting license for his son Randy when he wasn’t able to get one for Bobby, he says, “You’re taking that son of a…yours hunting?!”.
  • Looney Tunes:
    • In the short The Bashful Buzzard, Beaky calls a worm an "infinitesimal piece of sh-sh...shoe leather!"
    • Played with in Breakdowns of 1939, a gag reel made by the Warner Bros. animators for their 1938 Christmas party. It features several takes of Porky Pig hitting his thumb with a hammer, and on the last one he says the following:
      Porky: Oh, son of a bi-bi-bit, son of a bi-bi-bit, son of a bi-bi-bi-Gun! (to the audience) Ha ha ha! You thought I was gonna say "s-suh-son of a bitch", didn't ya?
    • In Booby Hatched, a cartoon involving a semi-hatched baby duckling whose legs are sticking out of the egg, the duckling tries to find his mother, or a viable option: "I gotta find someone who will sit on me. Someone with a nice, warm...disposition!"
    • One of the earliest examples comes from the Private Snafu series of cartoons created for the Army during WWII — the very name of which was a censor bypass. It was stated at the beginning of his first short that "SNAFU" stood for "Situation Normal....All FFFF....All Fouled Up."
    • In The Dover Boys, the narrator nearly calls the protagonists jerks and has to hastily backpedal: "... and Larry, the youngest of the three jer- daaaaaah, brothers."
  • Filburt and Rocko in the Rocko's Modern Life episode "Kiss Me, I'm Foreign", are in the middle of an argument, when they're interrupted by a knock at the door. They find it's the immigration agent who's been threatening to have Rocko deported throughout the episode, and their response comes out as "What in the hellooooo!"
  • The Simpsons:
    • Used when Homer takes control of the plant:
      Homer: Mister Burns' reign of terror is over, and now begins my reign of terr— (workers gasp) —iffic management. (relieved sighs)
      Lenny: Whoo, I thought he was gonna say "terror"!
      Carl: Eh, I didn't think he was going that way.
    • Smithers almost confesses his crush when the town is convinced by a self-help guru to act uninhibitedly:
      Smithers: Mr. Burns, I love those colours, sir!
    • In the "King Homer" segment of "Treehouse of Horror III", Mr. Burns is discussing going ashore to Ape Island when Marge shows up:
      Marge: Am I going, too?
      Burns: Of course! We wouldn't think of going without the bait...uh, that is, the bait-thing beauty. The bathing beauty! ...Heh, heh, I covered that up pretty well.
    • "The Wife Aquatic" involves Homer and others on a boat during a storm. As a giant tsunami is about to wash them away they yell: "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPWWRREEEEEEECK!"
    • Lisa and her friend Janey also do a variation on "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat" in the opening of "Little Boy and Fat Man". Homer eavesdrops on them and faints after a few lines.
      Lisa & Janey: Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell. Miss Lucy went to heaven, and the steamboat went to-
      Homer: (Gasp)
      Lisa & Janey: Hello operator-
      Homer: (Sighs in relief)
      Lisa & Janey: -give me number nine, and if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your be-
      Homer: (Gasp)
      Lisa & Janey: -hind the refrigerator-
      Homer: Phew.
      Lisa & Janey: -there was a piece of glass. Miss Lucy sat upon it, and it cut her big fat-
      Homer: (Gasps, then faints)
    • In "Brother from Another Series" Sideshow Bob's brother Cecil screams Shhhhhhh...oot after he accidentally flings millions of dollars into the base of a dam.
    • In "Stark Raving Dad", Homer calls home from a mental institution.
      Homer: Boy! When I get home, I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck—
      (the doctors suddenly gasp and look at him)
      Homer: —and smother you with kisses.
      Bart: Dad, whatever they got you on, cut the dose!
    • When he tells Reverend Lovejoy that God spoke to him in a dream in "Homer the Heretic":
      Homer: He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that was special because I usually dream about naked...Marge.
    • Krusty the Klown often ends up doing this on his show whenever he notices that the camera is suddenly on him after a break or cartoon.
      Krusty: I could have pulled a better cartoon out of my a— Hey, hey, kids, wasn't that a great cartoon?
    • In "Yokel Chords"
      Birthday: Hey, you're one a' them funny people wit' the great big nose!
      Krusty: A clown, yeah!
      Birthday: No, a J...
      Krusty: Joker, I sure am! And since I'm not a practising joker, I'm not that offended.
    • Another episode had Homer sitting in his hammock, singing and blindly throwing items over the fence at Flanders. After he intentionally throws something else at him, it prompts him to say:
      "God—!...bless him."
    • The episode "The Devil Wears Nada" has a variation:
      Homer: You know how Smitty's name is Smitty? Well, not anymore! I changed the "m" to a—
      Carl: That'll do, Homer.
      Homer: ...To a "p". Spitty. 'Cause he spits when he talks.
  • Transformers: Animated:
    • Starscream being Starscream (the last part being a quote from Sergeant Schultz of Hogan's Heroes):
      Starscream: Megatron...?! Did you just say Megatron?! Did he just say MEGATRON?! THERE IS NO MEGATRON! MEGATRON IS OFFLINE! TERMINATED! I DID IT MYSELsaw it myself.
    • Then Sentinel Prime does it when trying to disguise his intent to blow up Omega Supreme.
      Sentinel Prime: As acting Magnus, I must be ready to strike should Omega...should Megatron make a move against us.
  • In Transformers: Beast Wars episode "Cutting Edge": Rattrap is complaining about Blackarachnia to Rhinox.
    Rhinox: What are you saying?
    Rattrap: I'm sayin' that our little spider chum—
    (Silverbolt — Blackarachnia's love interest — walks in)
    Rattrap: —is...a credit to her web-spinnin' species, and I don't know what we ever did without her.

  • Family Guy:
    • Neatly done in the song "When We Swing":
      Brian: ♪ I love the work of Allen Funt ♪
      Stewie: ♪ Or a nicely shaven leg
    • Also in the song "We're Too Different to Ever Be Pals":
      Brian: ♪ You get a kick out of carnage and guts ♪
      Stewie: ♪ And you get a kick out of stroking your...♪
      Brian: (interrupting him) Whoa!, Whoa you can't say that on TV!
      Stewie: What? Ego?
    • In "The Peter Principal":
      Peter: (to Chris and Neil) Hey, guys, guys. When Borat was making announcements over the P.A. this morning, (pointing at himself) that was me.
      Chris: What?! Shut the front door!
  • American Dad! episode "Hot Water" (in season seven):
    Ce Lo Green: Fig in your mouth
    And my finger in your...
    Fish: BASS!
  • South Park:
    • Wendy sings to the tune of "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat". Subverted Trope.
      ''Miiis-suuus Landers was a health nut. She cooked food in a wok.
      Mr. Harris was her boyfriend, and he had a great big—
      Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit
      And I don't want my breakfast, because it tastes like—
      Shih tzus make good house pets. They're cuddly and sweet.
      Monkeys aren't good to have, because they like to beat their—
      Meeting in the office or meeting in the hall,
      The boss, he wants to see you so you can suck his
      Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt
      Mrs. Roberts didn't like him, but that's 'cause she's a—
      Contaminated water can really make you sick.
      Your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your—
      Dictate what I'm saying, 'cause it will bring you luck
      And if you all don't like it, I don't give a flying fuck!
    • The punchline of "It Hits the Fan" (in which the word "shit" is repeatedly said uncensored):
      Stan: Holy sh—! ...poo.
  • Tried and failed in The Venture Bros., when the boys ask why they don't remember a villain who claims to be their mommy, Brock says "Look, you don't remember because you're clo— (clones)". Both Brock and Doc stutter, trying to find a suitable replacement word, but fail.
  • In the Phineas and Ferb special "Summer Belongs to You!", the ever-hopeful Phineas momentarily gives up, and Isabella tries to snap him out of it:
    Isabella: That's not the Phineas Flynn I fell this situation with.
  • Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog:
    • After Robotnik invents his own robot wife:
      Scratch: She's beauuuutiful!
      Grounder: Yeah! She's got really big—
      Scratch: Hair!
    • Also from the episode "Lovesick Sonic"
      Scratch: Nice work Agent Breezie.
      Grounder: Yeah, very nice; that little brat is a real pain in the—
      Scratch: Hey!
      Grounder: —transmission!
  • From the ReBoot episode "End Prog", the musical at the end gives us this gem:
    The Web invaded Mainframe, sprite and virus battled side by side
    Attempting to reclaim the city from the rift which opened wide
    But Megabyte betrayed Bob and he threw him deep inside the pit
    The pit was closed and Bob was hosed and all that he could say was "NO!!!"
  • SpongeBob SquarePants:
    • In "Sleepy Time", SpongeBob goes into different dreams around Bikini Bottom, including Sandy's dream, where she is skydiving and tells him he needs a parachute. But SpongeBob mishears it as "pair of shoes" and then "parakeet", just as Sandy says "para—", she crash lands into a truck of clam manure, as her chute goes off, she says, "medic".
    • In "Doing Time", SpongeBob tries to break Mrs. Puff out of jail, only for her to refuse because she prefers jail over being outside with SpongeBob, which she tries to explain to him.
      Mrs. Puff: And besides, if I'm in here, that means I won't have to deal with you... (sees SpongeBob sad and about to cry) ...uranium! In the water supply.
  • In the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) episode "Rise Of The Turtles, Part 1", Raphael complains that they've just been standing around "with our thumbs up our noses note !" Michelangelo then states that he doesn't think they'd fit.
  • A Terrytoons cartoon from the mid 50s featured a pelican as an antagonist. The singers in the background noted that the pelican's beak can hold more than his...(pelican gives camera a ticked look) stomach.
  • This poem from Poe on Ruby Gloom:
    Poe: ...The bats will not harm you, I told them, "Let pass!" The ghouls are a problem, best watch your...
    (Edgar and Allen stop playing and give him a surprised look)
    Poe: ...em... bottom...
  • In The Legend of Korra, this is implied when Tenzin tells Korra what he knows about the Earth Queen.
    Tenzin: I hear that she can be quite [Beat, with a suspicious "a" sound] demanding.
  • In the Thomas & Friends song "Sir Topham Hatt":
    His name is Sir Topham Hatt,
    Some people say he's *ahem* stout.
    • In "Bull's Eyes", Daisy gets nervous when confronted with a bull on the line.
      Daisy: Look at those horns! If I bump into him, he might hurt m...them."
  • When Pearl from Steven Universe talks about seeing the human zoo during her time before the rebellion, she quickly changes the sentence to conceal the identity of her former owner.
    Pearl: When I still served... Homeworld, I saw it myself.
  • The Loud House: Has happened with Luna Loud's Waxing Lyrical, with a notable occasion having her discussion of a "highway to-" being interrupted by an alert on her laptop prompting an intrigued "Hello!"
  • The 1938 Mickey Mouse short "Mickey's Parrot" (involving a parrot showing up who keeps speaking phrases that cause Mickey and Pluto to think a recently-escaped murderer named Machine Gun Butch had broken in) has a version where the radio broadcast they're listening to includes the following:
    Announcer: "And then, little Johnny Chipmunk ran after the pretty butterfly so fast, he slipped and fell right down on his fat little...NEWS FLASH! (followed by the report on Machine Gun Butch's escape)
  • In "The Letter Factory" from Leap Frog, Professor Quigley takes Tad to the V room, where the V letters are vibrated to help them learn their sound. Tad doesn't take well to the vibrating.
    Tad: I think I'm gonna vuh, vuh... get sick!
  • Tuca & Bertie: Speckle does this in "The Promotion" when congratulating Bertie on her promotion: "Text me when you get the good news, okay? And tonight maybe we can do some celebrating with my big di...nner idea."

    Real Life 
  • The Tex-Mex dish chimichanga, a deep-fried burrito garnished with vegetables and sauce, is said to have earned its name in 1922 when a Tucson, AZ restaurateur accidentally knocked a prepared burrito into the deep-fryer. She began to utter a Spanish curse word but, upon realizing children were present, modified her oath into "chimichanga".
  • I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. /Banana split, we think your team plays like/ shift to left, shift to the right/ Come on "team name" fight fight fight!
  • A common neuroscience mnemonic, as follows: The functions of the amygdala are the four F's — feeding, fighting, fleeing, and mating.
    • Or "fornicating", if you prefer an Alliterative List.
    • Also exists in the form "feeding, fighting, fleeing and fff...inding a mate."
    • This phrase was said by Jane Goodall.
    • Similarly, Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart refer to the four universals (things that have evolved independently on many occasions, and which we would therefore expect to find in advanced alien ecologies): Flight, Fur, "Fotosynthesis", and ... sexual reproduction.
  • Common in Phở restaurants such as What the Phở? and Phở King ("Phở" is pronounced as "fuh?", with the question mark.) The latter's slogan was "so Phở King great."
    • Also in certain lounge furniture stores that glory in the name Sofa King, and advertised their prices with the slogan "it's not just cheap, it's..."
  • Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau claimed to have said "fuddle-duddle" and not the phrase attributed to him by opposition MPs.
  • A cheer said at RPI hockey games: "We eat Wheaties, We keep fit! / Not like the other team, they eat shhhhhhhhredded wheat!"
  • Rick Santorum may or may not have attempted this during one speech about cutting welfare because it shouldn't be there just "to make blah people's lives better." He claimed that he started to say "a word" and then mumbled. His opponents said he said "black" and attempted this but couldn't think of another word.
  • A high school cheer (from the 1960s) went "Rah rah ree, kick 'em in the knee! Rah rah rass, kick 'em in the other knee!"
  • A high school cheer (from the 1980s) went "Ice cold beer / makes you wanna cheer! / Ice cold gin / makes you wanna win! / Ice cold duck / makes you wanna... SCORE!"
  • Not a specific example, but anyone who has had a school crush has probably had this happen once or twice.
  • Sort of a (very unofficial) "fight chant" sometimes heard at Norfolk State University football games in Virginia plays on the local pronunciation of "Norfolk" (NOR-fuk or NAW-fuk):
    We don't drink, we don't smoke, Norfolk!


Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Be...

Lydia Deetz taunts Betelgeuse by almost saying his name three times, but changing the word at the last second.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (2 votes)

Example of:

Main / LastSecondWordSwap

Media sources: