- Better Living Through Science and Ponies:Now the subject was asking her questions. Not the usual kind, either... "Where am I?" or "What are you doing to me?" or "Why would you take my leg?"
- From Boldores And Boomsticks, we have a lovely gem establishing Professor Cyric Cypress' credentials as a doomsayer.Cypress: "Too vague," they'll say. "It's entirely speculation." "The evidence is circumstantial." "How did you get this number."
- Harry Five-0
:Steve: Kono, Harry! How was DC?
Harry: Ok... caught up with some old friends, proposed to Kono, shot a sniper, got a private tour of the White House, was accused of being a mass murderer. - In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, after the Yakuza Princess comments that she learned calligraphy because it's an important thing to know in "the business":Haruhi: What else did you learn? Back to the beginning...I know you mentioned that you had some martial arts training, too?
Yakuza Princess: All proper things! Tea ceremony, calligraphy, social behaviors, ninkyo dantai formality, martial arts, interrogations...that kinds of stuff. - Mass Effect: Human Revolution: Wrex's incredibly large rap sheet is more like Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, complete with 1 count of littering being the final offense. However, that count of littering involves ripping off another krogan's testicles and tossing them offhandedly into a public lake.
- Mischief (MHA):
- Eri's morning routine: Watching cartoons, playing with toys, practicing her stabbing technique, and drawing. Also when Mic tells her she can't practice with her knives until Aizawa comes back, she does what Izuku told her: Smile sweetly, say okay, and then go grab one of the knives they had hidden in her room.
- Mei lists all the things she brought along for the Festival to help Izuku's team.
Mei: Hover boots, nets, jet pack, sludge pills, tasers, death ray-oh darn, Power Loader took that one out- flash bangs, smoke bombs, pretty much any bomb you can think of!- Izuku listing all the utilities of Hitoshi's Braiwashing for pranking, such as making Bakugo compliment everyone while they film it, or Monoma copy that Awase's and make him stick himself somewhere embarrassing, or make Endeavor walk into traffic.
- Taskmaster, makes a point of what kind of questions he doesn't bother wasting his time with:
Taskmaster:I make it a point not to waste my breath with stupid questions. If you’d like other examples, they include: ‘Where did you come from?’ ‘Who sent you?’ And ‘Please don’t kill me.’” (Beat) I suppose the last one isn’t a question, but you get the point. - Pokémon Crossing: O'Hare gets attacked by three Team Pastel members and they do the following: kick him in the balls, hijack his boat, and steal his porn magazine.
- This note at the end of Chapter 7 of The Prayer Warriors The Titans Strike Back. Granted, the author's saying this comes off as less of a surprise than most examples of this, given his hatred of liberals and Obama, but it's still fairly jarring compared to the previous items.GOD BLESS THE UNITED REPUBLIC OF THE ENTIRE IRELAND
GOD BLESS SAINT PATRICK AND THE HOLY ALCOHOLIC CHURCH
GOD BLESS THE HOLY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
GOD BLESS US ALL AND FOR THE FUTURE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT
FUCK YOU OBAMA! YOU WILL FUCKING LOSE THE ELECTION AND BURN IN HELL!- In Threat of Satanic Commonism, Jerry describes Books, a representation of someone who sporked his works, as "an idiot only suited to telling lies and killing innocent Christians".
- Turnabout Storm: Phoenix's list of "unprofessionalism" he has faced in court.
- In Prometheus fanfic The Machine In Your Hand, David 8 starts off listing first-aid equipment and trails off."In the breast pocket of my uniform you'll find Paracetamol tablets, pain relief lozenges, thallium, arsenic, rusted nails..."
"David."
"Sorry. Just seeing if you were paying attention."
- Eleutherophobia:
- When Tom reunites with Bonnie at a Matter Over Mind meeting in Ghost in the Shell, he reminisces on his memories of his crush on her, which culminated with her asking him out, inviting him to The Sharing, and watching in apparent apathy as he was made into a Controller.
- Later, Tom recalls the questions he and Eva have been asked in interviews including what Jake's favourite foods are, what Marco was like as a baby, and how it feels to be forced to attempt to murder one's family.
- In A Straight Line Down Through the Heart, Tom gives Cassie a list of drinks that starts off normal, then ends with motor oil and human blood.
- The fic As It Should Be features a rather upbeat example."It had been a rather simple plan: to clean Appa, buy some fruit, save the world, grow up, marry Katara, and live happily ever after with his new family."
- The Batman fanfic Macushla has:Stephanie Brown is eighteen years old, blonde, annoyingly cheerful, and a master assassin.
Yeah, most people don't know about that last part.
- Ichigo does this in the third chapter of The First Guardian while talking to his Zanpakuto about Rukia:"It's basic Girl 101, you don't ask a girl for her age, or weight, or number of drinks needed for a successful date-rape."
- Examples from The Calvinverse:
- Done several times in Calvin & Hobbes: The Series.
- Calvin describing the "lady things" his mother would shop for:"You know, makeup, lipstick, whips; that sort of thing."
- Calvin describing the "lady things" his mother would shop for:
- Then there's this from "A Day in Your Shoes":Calvin: Nice day today for a game of Calvinball.
Hobbes: Yep, the sun is shining, the grass is soft, the birds are singing, Dr Brainstorm and Sheila have a giant pile of inventions at either end of the field... - From the Recursive Fanfiction The Pez Dispenser and the Reign of Terror:"I have a graze up my left arm, and Sherman's hurt his back left leg from running too much, and you just saved our lives, but other than that, not too bad. You?"
- Done several times in Calvin & Hobbes: The Series.
- The Tamers Forever Series has this exchange during Omnitamer:Renamon: Takato, are you okay?
Takato: Well I'm kind of tired, I haven't eaten at all today, and MY HANDS ARE ON FIRE!
- Creamed Cherries starts off peaceful enough for a Bambi fanfic, describing birds singing, daffodils swinging and spiders eating trapped flies for breakfast. The rest of the story is thankfully very lighthearted.
- Welcome to Sand Hands: It's described that your friend Brad is just like you, the same height as you, and "he loves your cousin's feet."
- My Immortal:Bloody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashitee gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). 'BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.' (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)
"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.
"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."
"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.
- In Suzumiya Haruhi no Seitenkan, the scene where Asakura decides to kill Kyon to see how Haruhi will react is made worse here, since it's implied that Asakura intends to rape Kyonko as well.
- In Trainings Camp, we get this gem:"A kiss...? Just a kiss...? That was all? Ludwig thought it would be something like 'No more training!' or 'Pasta for lunch every day!' or 'Do me on the kitchen table now!'"
- This Kink Meme fill, where Canada is complaining about America; "Never thinks about the consequences, whether it's picking fights, or spending, or eating, or invading his neighbor..."
- Also on the Hetalia kinkmeme is a Sucker Punch fusion, in which Arthur is showing new guy Alfred around and a non-funny version of BEMS shows up:"Kitchens," Arthur says. "Then the next room's the canteen. [...] Toilets," Arthur says, poking a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of where the washrooms might allegedly be. "Showers, too. Sometimes the dodgier orderlies spend time there. If you want something from the outside world, suck their cock. They bring you whatever you want if you do."
- And another:He realized it was really a lovely Sunday morning. The sky was clear, with only some little clouds showing here and there. It was getting warmer now, springtime was near. He had a nice little house, with two well-furnished bedrooms, a comfortable bed, a simple but welcoming living room, coffee waiting for him in his convenient kitchen and a dead body at his front door. Everything was perfect.
Everything was silent. His mind went blank, as he slowly got the meaning of "Dead body at my front door".
- Also on the Hetalia kinkmeme
- Xaldin's description of Saix before he was ukefied in Those Lacking Spines is "stoic, collected, and mildly psychopathic with a sadistic twist".
- Chapter Eight of Free as the Wind has this gem, between the Hero of Time and Hero of Light:Twilight Princess Link (about the two games' Zeldas): "One's blonde, and one's a brunette. One wears pink, one wears purple. One's got boobs, and one's still probably in a training bra."
- In What You Wish For, Lucy has supplies for kidnapping an allegedly-possessed Carol: zip ties, duct tape, and handcuffs... which she found in her parents' bedroom.
- In If They Haven't Learned Your Name, Natasha Romanov pays Nick Fury a visit in his little cottage-safehouse in the UK and starts rummaging through the cupboards for tea, which Fury always kits SHIELD safehouses out with. She pushes past tins of sugar, green tea, cyanide, and arsenic before finding the tin of black tea, and proceeding to fix herself a cuppa with lemon.
- Alya and the Harem Reality: In chapter 2, Gabriel admits to himself they are some things he doesn't understand about people, like why are Andre and Audrey still married, why Mr. Ramier is so obsessed with pigeons, or why Tomoe Tsurugi had requested his wife Emilie to create Sentimonsters to try and kill her as part as a business arrangement between their companies.
- In A Convoluted Matter by Neeko96, Nathalie gives Adrien a list of activities approved by Gabriel for him and his future girlfriend:Adrien: Let's see... Sightseeing, ice skating, casual strolling between the hours of 8 am and midnight, protected se— What!?
- Feralnette AU: After witnessing Chloé helping Marinette into her car, Adrien assumes that she's kidnapping her. During the ensuing debate over the likelihood of this, Lila idly notes that Chloé's family is rich enough that she wouldn't get anything out of a ransom. Everyone pauses to stare at her for that remark.
The Most Popular Girls in School
- MPGIS: Behind the Cameras has:Trisha: [Mackenzie's] probably... getting ready for cheer practice, checking herself out in the mirror, or standing in the hallway smoking cigarettes and being totally absorbed in her music.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
- The God Squad has this exchange, which hilariously subverts the usual "Wait, what?" response:Luna: But now that I've been to Ponyville, I decided that I need to see all of Equestria! I want to see the mountains and the plains and the Changeling hive so I can beat their Queen up and the great cities and the tiny hamlets—
Shining Armor: Wait... what was that last part?
Luna: Changeling hive?
Shining Armor: No, the... [blinks, surprised that Luna didn't play dumb] - A Kingdom Divided. From chapter 2:She [Vinyl] was just thinking about some things, which were important in her current state, like; who’d win the war, when they’d release her from the hotel, which wall would be the best to paint a picture of Octavia on it, and if it was safe to use a chair’s leg to pleasure herself.
- In Chapter 2 of The Sweetie Chronicles: Fragments, while they're at the castle, we have this little bit of description:The four fillies, three mares and the incarnation-of-all-that-was-evil-in-ponydom sat down for dinner
- Tantabus Mark II: How the Tantabus Parses Sleep: "Baby Don't Hurt Me": Celestia's form letter for suitors, for all occasions, when Moondog needs relationship advice:Dear [Pony Name Here],
I am ▢ entranced / ▢ flattered / ▢ unswayed / ▢ vexed / ▢ horrified and disgusted by your (▢ offer of) ▢ odes and poems / ▢ gifts / ▢ land / ▢ vassalage / ▢ wealth / ▢ countless equine sacrifices in my name. ▢ Unfortunately / ▢ Therefore / ▢ As such, in light of ▢ our respective positions in Equestria / ▢ the current political climate / ▢ my own personal feelings / ▢ your previous such attempts / ▢ this depraved, heinous act against the dignity of living beings of all kinds, I must inform you that ▢ as a busy mare, I cannot in good faith accept them / ▢ your persistence in your fruitless attempts to woo me has become grating / ▢ I have already made my decision concerning the treaty / ▢ I’m coming for you, you deplorable aberration.
▢ I would welcome more correspondence in the future as friends, if you would accept it. / ▢ Cease your “courtship” immediately. You are not entitled to me. / ▢ Your attempts to get on my good side for politicking are even more transparent than glass. / ▢ Pray.
Princess Celestia of ▢ Equestria / ▢ the Cleansing Flame of the Infinite
Moondog gave Aunt Celly a Look.
"There was a time, back in the 700's," Aunt Celly replied, "when a necromantic cult sprang up around me, in spite of my best efforts. They were..." She shuddered. "...quite taken with me and wrote me so many letters. I had to update the spell. And remember, this is one of the simpler ones. I could-" - A Witch In Broad Daylight: At the beginning of Chapter 1:A chilling wind blew, a few leaves were already orange, a swarm of zombies had swept over the entire town and pumpkins were out on sale.
- Always Visible: Almost literally, when Galbraith visits a "Orcinus Orca Osteria" where he watches the cashier strip the foot to accept socks from crazy beggars.
- In Blood Man Luffy when Nico Robin asks why she should join Luffy's crew, she asks what's in it for her.Luffy: Well, what do you want?
Robin: What any woman wants, I suppose. A good book, some nice coffee, and to watch my enemies suffer.
Luffy: I think we have books! Kaya brought some! We definitely have coffee!
- Chapter one of The Exigence is called "Lights! Camera! Apocalypse!"
- Later, Traitor: When trying to convince Frazie to ignore the Intrusive Thoughts attempting to break into his Happy Place, Clem offers her juice boxes with three different flavors: Cherry, cranberry and cyanide.
- In Chapter 91 of Farce of the Three Kingdoms, to calm down some spirits, the characters are told they have to sacrifice a black ox, a white goat...and a few humans. No biggie.
- In the Modern AU Fic A Vicious, Vengeful Sea, Asha describes the only things she cared about at 16 as "Lhazareen thrash metal, the Islandic Separatist Movement and the eating disorder she had developed".
- The collection of words that is Forbiden Fruit: The Temptation of Edward Cullen contains this line regarding how Uncle Larry treats Tiana."I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night"
