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Fanfic / The Prayer Warriors

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"I am Jerry and I am a prayer warrior. I am a servent of the lord and will do anything to get rid of evil Gods. Lately the Satanic leader Percy Jackson has taken over much of the land, along with his Satanic Army and his girlfriend whore. She has sex with other people just to get Satanic money."
— The first paragraph of The Evil Gods I (ignoring the author's note and random biblical quote). It gets worse from here.

The Prayer Warriors is a series of Troll Fics written by Thomas Brown, also known as BelieverInChrist, and his cousin Ebony Brown.

The plot has the eponymous heroes trying to purify the worlds they're on, whether by converting them or killing them because they're Satanic. However, they also face dangers along the way, whether by facing off against other Gods or other powerful beings.

So far, seven stories of The Prayer Warriors have been written:

  • The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One, where it focuses on the world of Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
  • The Prayer Warriors: Battle With the Witches, where it focuses on the world of Harry Potter.
  • The Prayer Warriors: Threat of Satanic Commonism, focusing back on the Percy Jackson characters with a little World War I thrown in there.
  • The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part Two, co-written by Thomas Brown and his cousin Ebony Brown with a surprise guest appearance by Noah. It focuses on the Prayer Warriors and the Percy Jackson cast returning to America and fighting the Roman Gods. Surprisingly better than the other least when Ebony is writing.
  • The Prayer Warriors: Attack of the Sphinx, which focuses on The Kane Chronicles. Co-story with The Titans Strike Back.
  • The Prayer Warriors: The Titans Strike Back, which returns to Harry Potter as the Prayer Warriors deal with the Titans and the resurrected Hogwarts. Co-story with Attack of the Sphinx.
  • The Prayer Ponies (aka Friendship Is Through Jesus or Charity's Adventure), a spin-off written by Ebony Brown, focusing on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Decidedly less disturbing than Thomas' fics.
  • The Prayer Warriors: A New Beginning, Ebony's recent attempt at rebooting the series. Not as funny as the original, but amusing nonetheless.

The Prayer Warriors has also spawned several copy-cat fanfics:

  • The Prayer Warriors: A Kingdom Under Shadow, a Star Wars fanfic. This is most likely a reference to Thomas Brown's "lost" fanfic under the same name.
  • The Prayer Warriors: Born This Way, a Twilight fanfic. It's written in the same style as My Immortal.

The author's newest FanFiction.Net page is here. Ebony's page is here. All the fanfics have been deleted, but a few have been archived through reposts. Arcadiarika has liveblogged Thomas' six stories after saying on the third and fourth liveblogs that she's done reviewing the entire series; you can read them here, here, here, here, and here. Taylor Ashmere has liveblogged Ebony Brown's Prayer Ponies; you can read it here. Anarchy Writer has MST'd the first two stories, which you can view here. HerrWozzeck has MST'd the first story with the Library of the Damned, which you can view here.

However, in this video, Sarah Z investigates and determines that Thomas is actually an alt of Toby, another troll who claimed to be the author of My Immortal. He later apologized for this fic, saying that it is a trollfic, and that the Bible quotes were random.

Compare Harry Potter turns to the Lord and Star Kits Prophecy (which is a Troll Fic). Contrast My Immortal, Naruto Veangance Revelaitons (NSFW), (both of which could be considered this fic's Mirror Universe counterparts) and Gurren Jesus.

The Prayer Warriors series provides examples for the following tropes:

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  • A Million Is a Statistic: The Prayer Warriors routinely curb stomp entire armies and destroy buildings with large groups of people in them (a coliseum, the Taj Mahal) without even so much as a thought. The death toll is never specified, though.
  • Aggressive Categorism:
    • Jerry's brand of Christians are the One True Religion, all other religions are satanic.
    • Men superior, women inferior.
  • All Crimes Are Equal: And the punishment is almost always death. Jerry even says that if a starving child steals some food, one should cut his/her hands off.
  • Always Chaotic Evil: The villains, who are also Always Stupid Evil
  • And That's Terrible: The fics hammer it into the reader's head as to why every single action the villains do is evil.
  • Art Evolution: As the author (assuming he's not a troll) becomes more and more unhinged, the stories become more and more disturbing. The characters - who are already Ax-Crazy - become more and more spiteful and sadistic (such as defiling bodies by urinating on them, hoping Molly Weasley will miscarry, and cackling about sending people to Hell) In Battle With the Witches, curses were introduced, and a few F-Bombs were even dropped. Finally, in Threat of Satanic Commonism, the Beige Prose beheadings were replaced with graphic depictions of the Prayer Warriors mutilating their opponents in cold blood. As of the latest chapters of The Titans Strike Back and Attack of the Sphinx, the heroes seem more focused on converting people than killing everyone who stands in their way, even if everyone is about as Out of Character as before. Time will tell where this leads.
  • Art Shift: Chapters co-written by Noah are much easier to read, and even offer some potential character development. The chapters of The Evil Gods II that were written by Ebony read like a real fanfic.
  • Artistic License – Religion:
    • Our heroes are every negative stereotype of Christianity ever, ramped up to eleven. Remember that whole "Forgive Thy Neighbor" and "Thou Shalt Not Kill"note  thing Jesus loved to talk about so much? Well, according to the author it apparently translates to "Murder Everyone Who Believes Anything Even Slightly Different In The Most Barbaric Fashion Imaginable."
    • Satanism and atheism are apparently the same thing.
  • As the Good Book Says...: There's a lot of Bible quotes, especially in the beginning of The Evil Gods I. Most of them are Meaningless Meaningful Words
  • Author Appeal: The author enjoys having the characters drive in American automobiles.
  • Author Catch Phrase: "How dare you..." is one of the author's favorite ways of beginning author's notes.
  • Author Filibuster: Very much. For example, in the middle of a chapter, the author mentions that people who aren't baptized can't go to church, and goes on a tangent about all Christians should pray no matter where they are or who tries to stop them. The worst example is the four "sermons" at the end of the compilation. Originally a massive rant posted on the author's profile, it has since been placed in Percy's mouth and repackaged as a four chapter "fanfic."
  • Black-and-White Morality: You'll never see a villain doing anything good (or at least not anything the author considers good) unless they've converted first, nor will you ever see a Prayer Warrior questioning whether or not their actions are right.
  • Broken Aesop: The story keeps emphasizing that women are weak and should be subservient to men. However, in Battle with the Witches, it's Ebony who does most of the work in gathering the keys to bring down Dumbledore, in Threat of Satanic Commonism, it's Mary who kills "John Lennon," and in Evil Gods Part Two, it's Ebony again who is able to capture Socrates. These examples, as well as several other cases of female Prayer Warriors fighting multiple enemies at once, makes one have to wonder just how weak and useless the women are.
  • Butt-Monkey: Grover tends to die the most often, both as a villain and as a hero, and gets some of the most painful and disturbing deaths at that.
  • By "No", I Mean "Yes": From Chapter 1: "I and her are not dating, if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on. We are dating, but we are not having Sex until we get married."
  • Cast Herd: The cast is split into quite a few groups among the Prayer Warriors (Jerry and the other original characters, Percy Jackson and his friends, the cast of Harry Potter, and the characters from The Kane Chronicles), and the villains (the Greek Gods, Hogwarts, the communists, the Roman Gods and the Egyptian Gods)
  • Category Traitor: As a sort of meta conflict, Thomas turns on his own brother Noah for "associating with Satanists" (which probably means Noah wasn't an utter asshat to people who disagreed with his worldview). He later has Noah killed in effigy in Battle With the Witches.
  • Crack Fic: It's about a bunch of religious extremists telling Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, and their demigod & wizard friends to convert or die. If the premise alone isn't batshit enough, the actual contents sure are.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Happens to anyone in the Prayer Warriors' way. Stoning is an especially cruel one that both sides use.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: The Prayer Warriors almost always deliver one against the villains. Besides Jupiter, none of the other villains put up any kind of a fight.
  • Cute and Psycho: Ebony (the character that is, not Thomas' cousin). She's beautiful and dresses conservatively...and way too eager to kill heathens and send them to Hell. She also wants to nuke California because there are too many homosexuals living there.
  • Dark Is Evil: Black is said to be a Satanic color, and in "Threat of Satanic Commonism," John Lennon wears purple.
  • Death is Cheap: Thanks to Plot Holes, people suddenly come back from dead. Grover is the worst offender.
  • Depraved Homosexual: Pretty much any gay person, or so we're told.
  • Demonization: Anybody the author doesn't like, including real people - like the author's own brother. At one point, one of the heroes says it's okay to kill atheists because they're actual demons in disguise!
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Are you a non-Christian? Are you gay or in a bisexual relationship? You get either stoned to death or beheaded. And if you're a representation of someone Thomas doesn't like, your fate can get worse. Even relatively minor acts can warrant harsh penalties, as stealing is punishable by having one or both of the thief's hands cut off, and lying is punishable by death.
  • Double Standard:
    • Females in general are placed considerably lower than males in society throughout the series.
    • It's a terrible sin to kill a Christian, but atheists and heathens? It's a sin NOT to kill them!
  • Easy Evangelism: Sometimes, nobody has to do anything to convert somebody. The few exceptions are cases in which it is implied (or at least accepted by the Prayer Warriors) that doing so is impossible.
  • Easy Road to Hell: All you have to do is disagree with the author. On anything.
  • Gratuitous Latin: Those that can read his Latin often say it's a "Blind Idiot" Translation. For an example, he says "Ego vere fidelis in cuniculis" to prove that he speaks Latin. It means something like "I am a true believer in the mines."
  • Greater-Scope Villain: Satan is one for the series, since he is said to have created the false gods and had a hand in the rise of communism in Russia, but hardly ever appears.
  • Guilt-Free Extermination War: The Prayer Warriors have no qualms with wanting to wipe out all their enemies, since their version of God told them to do so, and they don't believe their enemies are humans, anyway.
  • Guys Smash, Girls Shoot: Surprisingly, this is not played straight in spite of the themes of gender-based roles. The women, when they fight, use a fairly diverse arsenal of weapons, such as a gun (Mary), a dagger (Ebony), a sword and a spear (Clarisse), and a club (Annabeth and her opponent). Among the men, most use swords, but also can use an axe (Draco), a sword and spear (Percy), or a sniper rifle (Grover).
  • Happiness in Slavery: All of the "good" women are perfectly happy to be kicked around by the men.
  • Hate Fic: Of all the fandoms used in the series.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Jerry
    Jerry: I do not like girls. I want strong Christian men.
  • Hollywood Satanism: Take every negative stereotype of Satanism ever, and ramp it up to eleven. You've got the villains in the story.
  • Hypocrite:
    • Our heroes in the worst sense of the word. They are absolutely horrible about condemning something, and then immediately going and doing that thing, without so much as a "It's okay when we do it!"
    • The writer and heroes consider it really, really important to tell you they're not perverts. Yet, every woman from the books used in these fics (all of which are children or teenagers) who doesn't convert to being a Prayer Warrior is said to be a whore. And let's not even get started on their regards towards murder...
    • "Yes, John Lennon was the leader of Russia in 1918. I know my history..."
  • I Call It "Vera": William has a sword called "Forgiveness" and Draco has an axe called "Peace." They mutilate people with them.
  • In Name Only: The fandoms used the series just barely look anything like their respective canons. All of the canon characters are Out of Character, and most of the facts are wrong. Not to mention what they do to Christianity...
  • Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Almost every villain except Jupiter. Grover stands out among them, especially since he can only manage to taunt the Prayer Warriors as a villain, and his Butt-Monkey status carries over after his inexplicable Heel–Face Turn.
  • Inverse Law of Sharpness and Accuracy: Averted. The characters are much more likely to kill their enemies with bladed weapons than with blunt ones, except for when stoning people to death; for example, in Threat of Satanic Commonism, Jerry, who's wielding a sword, fights a "demon processed" Grover, who's wielding a club; Jerry gets in two direct hits whereas Grover only gets one, and Jerry's second hit kills Grover.
  • Kill the God: The Prayer Warriors do this to every non-Abrahamic god and goddess they meet.
  • Kudzu Plot: To the extent that it has one. As of this writing, Michael's group is fighting against the Titans and the (literally and figuratively) resurrected Hogwarts, while William's group is off in Syria dealing with the Egyptian Gods.
  • Lawful Stupid: The heroes, with the "law" being their own brand of Christianity.
  • Moral Event Horizon: In-Universe, several villains are considered to have crossed this by doing things that would come off to some people as completely harmless (Venus kissing another woman), or Pet the Dog moments (Stalin deciding to allow freedom of religion).
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: The Prayer Warriors kill anyone who disagrees with them, although in some cases, they may attempt to convert them first.
  • Obligatory Swearing: Quite a bit of it from the villains and even the Prayer Warriors themselves.
  • Off with His Head!: Jerry's main method of killing besides stoning people to death.
  • Offstage Villainy: Very rarely do the villains do anything evil in front of our faces. The worst example is when they claimed to be behind both World Wars, but never even explained how they did it. The only exception is Jupiter, which ironically is the only character that never gets punished for his evil deeds.
  • One-Steve Limit: Prince William of the British royal family is mentioned as being different from William, protagonist of the Attack of the Sphinx story.
  • Poe's Law:
    • It's really hard to tell if this is a Troll Fic or not. The author denies being a troll repeatedly (but then again, so do most trolls), and there's a lot of people who also claim he's not. But there are so many over-the-top, offensive Christian and conservative stereotypes, funny misspellings, and obvious factual errors, that it's hard NOT to believe he's a troll. The My Immortal parallels in Battle With the Witches doesn't help.
    • The writer cites Conservapedia with apparent seriousness, which suggests he's either a troll or profoundly ignorant.
    • The fact the cowriter goes by the name of Ebony coupled with the aforementioned inanity makes the likelihood of it being a troll fic extremely high if not certain.
    • The fic was finally confirmed to be a Troll Fic in a September 2020 video by Sarah Z, who discovered that the story was written by a musician from New Zealand and that Thomas and Ebony, among other accounts were sock puppets of him.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: The Prayer Warriors are only heroes in the loosest sense of the word, but they also are intolerant of other religions, sexist, homophobic and even sometimes racist.
  • Prayer of Malice: One of Jerry's methods of offing his enemies, when he's not throwing rocks at them or cutting their heads off.
  • Principles Zealot: The Prayer Warriors follow a socially conservative and fundamentalist Christian mindset to extremes most people wouldn't even consider. For example, not only do they oppose abortion, but they consider it punishable by death.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Quite a few examples, including the Satan/Satin confusion from the trope name. Surprisingly enough, there's an in universe case of this, in which "Stalin Town" was said to be mis-spelled as "Satan town".
  • Second-Hand Storytelling: Happens from time to time, such as when Clarisse's group journeys to Stalin Town, and when Rachel describes assassinating Idiosy.
  • Sex Is Evil: Anviliciously stated in almost every fic. The author even claims that people need to convert and repent for their sins, because even if they haven't done anything wrong, they are conceived through sex, which is a sin.
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: If there is any sex, the author skips over it because he doesn't want anybody getting "an organism."
  • Silk Hiding Steel: The female Prayer Warriors are expected to be dutiful housewives, but can fight against entire armies or carry out assassinations, just like their male counterparts.
  • Simultaneous Arcs
    • Attack of the Sphinx and The Titans Strike Back both take place at the same time, immediately after The Evil Gods Part II.
    • Earlier on, Battle with the Witches starts midway through The Evil Gods Part I, and The Evil Gods Part II starts midway through Threat of Satanic Commonism.
  • Slashed Throat: Third on the list of the Prayer Warriors' favorite killing methods after stoning and beheading.
  • Smart People Know Latin: In the author's opinion, although he doesn't seem to know Latin well, as can be seen by several Latin-only prayers that have several words strung together without spaces.
  • Sock Puppet: In an unusual example, the author created a sock puppet to insult and write a Troll Fic of his own story.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: How women are generally regarded throughout the fic. Interestingly enough, they often prove capable fighters and assassins when they're allowed to help out; Ebony ends up getting three out of the four keys herself (Michael picks up the fourth off Ginny's corpse).
  • Straw Character: ALL of the villains are just there to be "wrong" and "satanic" and to either die horribly at the hands of the Prayer Warriors or (much less often) to convert to their cause. These fics could be called, "The War on Straw: The Fanfic Series"
  • Switching P.O.V.: Jerry, Percy and Michael get first person perspectives the most often, but so do several other characters.
  • Take That!: In addition to the innumerable ones against the people who don't follow the Prayer Warriors' version of Christianity, there are numerous smaller ones, such as statements indicating that the author doesn't like non-American cars.
  • Take That, Critics!: In Battle With the Witches and Threat of Satanic Commonism, the Prayer Warriors sometimes fight—and win—against representations of the people who badmouthed the fics.
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: Characters repeatedly tell us what emotion they are feeling.
  • Troll Fic: Like Naruto Veangance Revelaitons, nobody really knows, but as the line gets crossed more and more, the My Immortal Shout Outs become more frequent, and the plot becomes increasingly convoluted, the chance of BelieverInChrist being a troll rises significantly. Ebony has confessed to being a troll, increasing the chances of Thomas being one. This makes Noah's Heel–Face Turn all the more confusing.
    • In 2020, it was not only confirmed to be a troll fic, but the writer and numerous people involved in drama around this story and other works of Bible fanfiction turned out to all be the same person.
  • We Are "Team Cannon Fodder": Jerry, Ebony, Percy and Draco tend to be the main ones to accomplish things. The other Prayer Warriors, especially Grover, lose surprisingly often, although rarely in ways that negatively impact the Prayer Warriors' overarching mission.
  • Who Dares?: "How dare you" is used so often it's the Author Catch Phrase.
  • With Us or Against Us: There are only two "hats" in this world: White or Black. Neutrals and innocent bystanders do not exist in this world, so don't try asking for any other shade. If you choose the Black hat, the Prayer Warriors will kill or enslave you. If you choose the White one, the Prayer Warriors will spare you, but you will have to live under their harsh rule. If you have any qualms about this, you will be immediately branded a "Satanist" and the Black hat will be shoved on your head, marking you for extermination. Your only choice after this is to beg for mercy or accept death. Many times the former does not work.
  • Would Hit a Girl: None of the Prayer Warriors, be they male or female, think anything of killing females if they've done something that they believe warrants their deaths.
  • Would Hurt a Child: Some of the Prayer Warriors' victims are teenagers, and Draco expresses a desire to wipe out the entire British royal family, "men women children and all".

    The Evil Gods I 
  • And That's Terrible: When thinking about the traitor, Jerry thinks to himself that "killing is bad, and is a sin against lord Jesus Christ." Of course, he then clarifies that "Killing a Christian is a sin."
  • Anticlimax: Percy suddenly deciding to convert instead of finishing Jerry off, and our heroes killing Hades instantly by praying.
  • Arc Villain: Percy Jackson is the main antagonist for the first half.
  • Badass Boast:
    Hades: "Fools of want to play fools game. You will never be able to defeat me. No one can beat me, not even God and his eternal begotten son Jesus Christ. They all fear me, and there is no way even a Christian can defeat me. No sword can stab me, because any stabs to me is creates no harm at all! And I am a master in sword fighting, greater than anything. I am the greatest of all the false gods of the Greek. There is no way on earth that you can beat me!"
    Prayer Warriors: "We are in hell, not on earth, and we have a weapon greater than a sword." (they kill him through prayer). "This is one lesson you should learn, never take on a Prayer Warrior! We will win all the time, for God is on our side!"
  • Book Ends: Grover and Hades, the Prayer Warriors' first and last opponents in this installment, are killed as a result of the Prayer Warriors praying to God.
  • Bury Your Gays: The heroes murder two lesbians in Aphrodite's temple.
  • Call-Back: Possibly subverted, since the event in question did not actually happen.
    And if that does not work, remove the head, like I did to Grover in the epic battle the first chapter, and if you have not read that, go back and read it, or sleep you will go to hell! Beware of my warring!
  • Dead Guy on Display: The Prayer Warriors do this to some of the gods. With Zeus, they drag his body out to prove that he's not a god.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: While listing Satan's slaves, Nico's name appears twice in a row, and Bianca's name appears as the first and fourth entries.
  • Deuteragonist: Percy Jackson becomes this for this story, as the first character besides Jerry to get a separate POV.
  • Dig Your Own Grave: While attacking the temple of Artemis, Jerry comes upon some "whores" doing "wrong things" to married men. After killing the men, Jerry forces the women to dig their own graves. After stoning them to death, he has them tossed in their graves and doesn't even bury them, leaving them to be eaten by wild animals.
  • Dirty Coward: What does Jerry do when the bad guys accidentally tell him that The Mole is going to kill him? Run and hide in the next town, leaving his friends and pregnant wife behind to potentially get killed instead.
  • Double Standard: Good Girls Avoid Abortion, because aborting a fetus is wrong. Except in Osama bin Laden's case, as his mother should have aborted him. Also, it's perfectly okay to "abort" innocent adults and teenagers, especially if they're not Christian.
  • Due to the Dead: Chiron and some soldiers who die in the attack on the temple of Mars are buried in the Christian manner. This is averted with the Prayer Warriors' enemies, whom they believe will go to hell anyway.
  • Everyone Hates Hades: Hades is not only considered evil like the other Greek gods, but he has a demonic appearance and is said to be the greatest of the false gods.
  • Evil Feels Good: Tyson refuses to convert because he enjoys sinning.
  • Evil Laugh: Grover's "Mahahahahaha."
  • Expy: Percy is intended to be one of Saint Paul, as someone who persecuted Christians but later converted.
  • Eye Scream: Jerry performs this on Artemis, and also pulls Grover's eyes out.
  • Fate Worse than Death: Promised by Satan to Percy if he fails to kill Jerry.
  • Good Girls Avoid Abortion: Naturally, Mary does this when she decides not to keep her baby.
  • Gratuitous Rape: The random rape scene in Zeus's temple.
  • Heel–Face Door-Slam: Thalia Grace says she wants to repent, but Jerry kills her, believing that she'll go to heaven if she's telling the truth, and will go to hell if she's lying.
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: Rachel was apparently a Christian before Percy was apparently responsible for getting her to worship the Greek Gods, but then becomes a Christian again with his help. This is clearly intended as a Face–Heel Turn then a Heel–Face Turn, but what readers interpret it as is another matter.
  • Honor-Related Abuse: When Jerry is told that Mary cheated on him with Percy, he immediately kills her without even considering if it might be true or not.
  • Horned Humanoid: Grover, Hades and Satan, which is used to prove that they are evil.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: Jerry, on no less than three occasions. In the space of a single chapter, there are two cases- when he believes Ethan when he repents his sins, but kills Thalia when she tries to do the same on the mere chance that she's lying- the former turns out to be a traitor, while the latter joins the Prayer Warriors in The Evil Gods Part 2, and is retconned into being one all along. He also doesn't realize that his own wife is a traitor, and that he's not the father of her unborn son. Interestingly enough, he has (so far) not ended up regretting deciding to trust the canonical traitor Luke.
  • I Do Not Own: This fic has its unique variation.
    I do not own the Bible, God does. I will not feel sorry for using Percy Jackson as it is evil and should not have a disclaimer.
  • I Shall Taunt You: Grover during his fight with Percy ("you God is a lie" and "how are you stupid beaver!"), which he ends up losing.
  • I Will Punish Your Friend for Your Failure: Satan tells Percy that if he doesn't kill Jerry, Grover will be used as a sacrifice.
  • Just Desserts: Chiron is killed and eaten alive.
  • Line in the Sand: When the heroes are planning to go into Hell to confront Hades, Jerry and Percy say that their followers do not have to follow them. It's unclear how many choose to follow them.
  • Loophole Abuse: Killing one's father is a sin, unless you've actively disowned him first.
  • Made of Iron: For all of Jerry's talk about how women are weak and inferior, let us note how his wife Mary somehow manages to survive being thrown off a tower, stoned to death, and having her fucking head chopped off.
  • Meaningful Rename: Percy renamed himself "Percy Judas" to signify his service to Satan. He replaces it with "of Christ" after joining the Prayer Warriors, as do all the other characters (Jerry of Christ, etc...).
  • Mentor Occupational Hazard: Chiron is killed shortly after converting to Christianity, and unlike most of the others, takes until The Evil Gods Part II to come back.
  • The Mole: Originally, it's said to be Ethan, but it later turns out to be Mary. After Mary is (unsuccessfully) executed for adultery, then forgiven, this is forgotten about.
  • Morton's Fork: For Thalia. If she is honest about repenting, then she'll go to heaven and it isn't a bad thing to kill her. If she isn't, she's a liar and deserves to die. And if she didn't repent at all, she would have gotten killed anyway, like the rest of the Percy Jackson cast that refused to do so.
  • "Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization: The heroes come across a girl being raped while steamrolling through the Temple of Zeus. She's screaming, which means she isn't enjoying it–which is lucky for her, or else she would have been convicted of adultery and stoned to death. When a similar incident plays out in Threat of Satanic Commonism, and Ebony, the rape victim, is killed by Percy (who led the attack on the temple of Zeus), it drives home that he meant it.
  • Off with His Head!: Grover suffers this fate by Retcon, as he had originally been eaten by locusts.
  • Redemption Equals Death: Defied with Kurt Cobain, who supposedly realized that Satan was controlling him and killed himself, but went to hell for committing suicide. Played straight with Chiron, who gets killed soon after he converts.
  • Red Shirt: Some Prayer Warriors actually die when attacking the temple of Mars.
  • Rooftop Confrontation: Jerry vs. Percy Jackson.
  • Self-Made Orphan: In the space of a single chapter, Percy kills Zeus (who is erroneously claimed to be his father) and Poseidon (who canonically is his father).
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: When Jerry and Mary consummate their relationship, this happens.
    I will not describe what happened for I do not want any atheist to get pleasure out of it and have an organism.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: Jerry tells Annabeth that his ways may be old-fashioned, but they work, before killing her.
  • Smoke Out: Percy escapes from Jerry this way in Chapter 3.
  • Tempting Fate: Hades says there is no way on earth that the Prayer warriors can defeat him. They then point out that they're not on Earth, and kill him.
  • Ten Little Murder Victims: After shooing away Percy, Jerry realizes there's a mole in his midst and goes searching for it...when he's not screwing around, that is.
  • Textile Work Is Feminine: After Mary reveals that she's pregnant, Jerry tasks her with making clothes, saying that it's a job for women, and only women.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Jerry throws Mary off the tallest tower, stones her to death and cuts off her head. And she still survives.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Despite being sentenced to execution by being thrown off a tower, stoned to death and beheaded to ensure her death, Mary survives and is forgiven by Jerry. Grover comes back from dying multiple times. Clarisse also comes back in the last chapter after having been beheaded near the beginning.
  • Villain Episode: Chapter 5 is a scene between Satan and Percy Jackson, in which they discuss killing Jerry.
  • Wham Line: Jerry is set to confront Percy, but then sees Michael.
    Michael"You are too late! For it was Percy Jackson that made your wife pregnant! She is the traitor."
    • Chiron goes off to convert Camp Half-Blood. Soon after, one of his students brings back news.
  • You're Not My Father: Percy to Zeus before killing him, so that he can avoid committing the sin of patricide.

    The Battle with the Witches 

    Threat of Satanic Commonism 
  • Archaic Weapon for an Advanced Age: The constant anachronistic battle scenes that seem like bastardized versions of The Iliad and The Odyssey tend to induce this. Chariots and bronze breastplates are apparently standard military issue... in 1917 Russia. For even more weirdness, at one point, Clarisse tries to get a fallen Soviet's weapon "because he had a good gun" note .
  • An Arm and a Leg: Clarisse cuts off Karl McCaughey's hand, killing him.
  • Anticlimax: Mary points a gun to Lennon at the end of Chapter 11. Chapter 12 picks up with the Prayer Warriors burning the coliseum to the ground, revealing then and there that Lennon was killed. The final confrontation with Stalin is essentially the heroes walking up to him, briefly exchanging dialogue with him, and gunning him down.
  • Armor Is Useless: Jill Pole's cuirass of bronze cannot protect him against Clarisse's spear. Grover's armor holds up better.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The second Benry is killed for starting a secret police to kill Christians, being a drug lord, hacking into the author's account, and supposedly writing My Immortal. Idiosy is killed for similar reasons, with Rachel even explicitly saying that hacking is one reason why she killed him.
  • Artistic License – History: Apparently, Soviet Russia was ruled by John Lennon. To make matters worse, he is referred to by his full name every time he is mentioned.
  • Badass Boast:
    Clarisse: "To all those that want to fight me, beware, God is on my side. Jesus will have his revenge on Soviet Russia. Soon a greater Prayer Warrior coming and he will kill you communist leader John Lennon. Amen."
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Grover says that prior to his conversion, he practiced bestiality and had sex with over 100 whores a night.
  • Carry a Big Stick: "Demon processed" Grover wields a club.
  • Climax Boss: Rika, Books and Grover.
  • Combat by Champion: Stalin sends out Rika, Books and Grover to fight the Prayer Warriors.
  • Country Matters: Vaguely; Stalin is called an "evil Satanic Kant" by the Prayer Warriors.
  • Cruel Mercy: The Prayer Warriors spare one Communist after cutting off his limbs and blinding him so that he can suffer, but can also repent.
  • Dead Guy on Display: Book's head is shown.
  • Decapitation Presentation: Upon going back in time, Percy stabs a Communist in the eye with a spear, then cuts off his head and displays his head, still stuck on the spear.
  • Designated Girl Fight: Annabeth's fight in the arena. Surprisingly, Annabeth's opponent wins.
  • Dirty Communists: The plot revolves around the "heroes" fighting against the Bolsheviks. Though it would be more apt to call them "Dirty Commonists" given the author's writing habits.
  • Disc-One Final Boss: John Lennon.
  • Disney Death: Clarisse seemingly dies early on fighting an army of enemies, but returns later.
  • Evil Laugh: Books does one.
  • Evil Smells Bad: Grover, while possessed by demons, has breath that stinks like rotten fish.
  • Eye Scream: One Satanist gets stabbed through the eye with a spear, which goes out the back of his neck.
  • Fighting Your Friend: Jerry vs. Grover.
  • Full-Name Basis: John Lennon is always referred to in by his full name in narration and dialogue.
  • Gender Flip: Rika and Books are presented as male. "Jill Pole" is also said to be male.
  • Giggling Villain: Books, taken to the point at which he cannot say anything other than "Laugh out loud".
  • Gladiator Games: Annabeth is captured and entered into them.
  • Gratuitous Rape: The extremely pointless scene where a rapist comes right the fuck out of nowhere and rapes Ebony without any of the other Prayer Warriors stopping him.
  • Groin Attack: Jerry stabs one member of the Communist police "in the private parts." Rachel to Idiosy.
  • Heel–Face Return: Grover, Annabeth and Clarisse all are shown as Prayer Warriors in this fic, despite having been killed as enemies in The Evil Gods Part I
  • Heel–Face Turn: Josef Stalin, of all people! After being beaten by the Prayer Warriors in Threat of Satanic Commonism, he decides Being Evil Sucks, and that he will allow complete freedom of religion. The Prayer Warriors kill him anyway, as they don't like that idea; while this would be a Heel–Face Door-Slam, it's treated as his In-Universe Moral Event Horizon.
  • Historical Villain Upgrade:
  • Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act: Averted. The Prayer Warriors get rid of both Lennon-er, Lenin AND Stalin, and eventually return to the present day with no apparent adverse consequences.
  • Honor-Related Abuse: A man comes out of nowhere and suddenly rapes Ebony. Percy kills her because she is Defiled Forever. Of course, this death doesn't stick, making the whole scene pointless.
  • "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: Jerry vs. a Stalin-controlled Grover, although he's much more willing to kill his manipulated friend than most examples of this trope.
  • Impromptu Tracheotomy: Jerry finishes Grover off with this. Rachel stabs Idiosy in the throat.
  • Leave No Survivors: Rachel burns down Idiosy's house, killing all his wives and guards, to cover up the traces of her murdering him.
  • Minor Injury Overreaction: Grover acts like he's dying after having his legs broken by a stone. Granted, a communist soon finishes the job with a spear.
  • Mook–Face Turn: Stalin's armies, some of whom are former Christians, immediately convert after a speech by Jerry.
  • My Girl Is Not a Slut: Jerry regarding Annabeth, even though she's not his wife.
    Crowd: "You Christian slut! I bet you had sex with your priest!"
    Jerry Narrates: I knew deep down that Annabeth was not a slut. Although she was a prostitute when she was under the controls of the false gods Zeus and Venus, since she had converted to Christianity she had stayed clean.
  • Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight: Annabeth and her opponent in the arena fight with clubs, until her opponent pulls a knife and kills her. Then Mary arrives and kills the opponent and John Lennon in short order, using a gun.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Rika is said to resemble Robert Pattinson, "who looks like a satanic drug addict."
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Rika delivers one to Jerry before he gets killed. Bizarre, considering that all other representations and villains get the opposite treatment.
    • At least, we assume that's what happened. For some reason, the whole battle with Rika is in complete gibberish.
  • Off with His Head!: Books dies this way.
  • Prepare to Die: Mary to John Lennon.
  • Purple Is Powerful: John Lennon's robe.
  • Shut Up, Kirk!:
    Jerry: "Jesses Christ is my saviour. HE will pretext me in my lime of need. Where is your false gods now? I know perfumery well that your gods is not real but is a lie created by Stalin (which s secretly demon processed by the Satan, the worse demon of them all! And he is not a god!)"
    Books: "Laugh out loud."
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: The Prayer Warriors in the final confrontation with Stalin.
    Prayer Warriors: (taking out guns) "Your time is up."
    Stalin: "But I was only trying to help."
    Prayer Warriors: "They only person you were trying to help were yourself! You evil Satanic Kant!" (they shoot him dead)
  • Slashed Throat: Ebony does this to two guards.
  • Spell My Name With An S: Annabeth's name is "Annebeth" or "Anna Beth" at various points.
  • Take That, Critics!: This fic is especially bad about it, because it has Benry killed twice, then Idiosy, and it includes two new representations: those of BookObsesserNumberOne, there called "Books", and the aforementioned Arcadiarika, there called "Rika". What's even weirder about this is that Rika is the only character who doesn't suffer a quick death, ending up killed at the end of Chapter 16.
  • Unit Confusion: Benry sells 2,000 kilograms of drugs to Rika and Books for $10 per kilogram (extremely cheap), and they proceed to leave with them too quickly for Grover to shoot them, which would seemingly require Super-Strength and Super-Speed.
  • Villain Teleportation: Stalin leaves this way after Rika, Books and Grover are defeated.
  • Voodoo Shark: Toward the end, the author attempts to explain the reason that Grover keeps coming back: scientists keep cloning him. Of course, the reason why the other characters also come back remains a mystery, as does the reason why Grover is on the Prayer Warriors' side in this story and the ones after it.
  • Your Head A-Splode: When Benry is shot in the head with a sniper rifle, his "head blows up and blood goes everywhere."

    The Evil Gods II 
  • And That's Terrible: Jason tells a group of people at an abortion clinic, "You have murdered. This is a sin and the punishment is death." He certainly feels the need to point this out, despite this not being the first time he's pointed out his opposition to abortion.
  • And There Was Much Rejoicing: No one cries when Jerry and Michael are sentenced to death in Noah's bonus chapter.
  • Artistic License – History: Socrates and Euripides were apparently Roman Gods... despite being Greek mortals.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: Jupiter does this to the captured Prayer Warriors. He even tortures Annabeth to death without asking her any questions.
  • Colony Drop: The Prayer Warriors, by praying to God, summon meteorites to destroy the demon's headquarters in Boston.
  • Cruel Mercy: Jason refuses to kill Socrates' follower, and has Thalia take her away to be punished.
  • Cynicism Catalyst: Worrying over the fate of his son has eroded Dexter's faith in God.
  • Driven to Suicide: Annabeth, shortly after Grover's death.
  • Find Out Next Time: At the very end, someone admits to being The Mole. After scrolling down the page, we get this.
  • Holy Burns Evil: Jason chases away the vampire by flashing a cross at her.
  • I Lied: A dying Roman goddess tells an unknown Prayer Warrior where Jupiter went to if they'll forgive her. After she dies...the Prayer Warrior reveals this trope and cackles with glee that she's going to Hell. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!
  • I Love the Dead: After torturing Annabeth and Grover to death, Jupiter... practices this trope on their corpses, as proof of being a Depraved Bisexual.
  • In the Back: Thalia claims to have helped Percy kill Zeus this way in the past.
  • Kill It with Fire: Jason kills Socrates by having napalm thrown down his throat.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: In Noah's bonus chapter, the Prayer Warriors are arrested for all the murders they committed, and Ebony is arrested for bigamy. Jerry and Michael are sentenced to death, and Percy and Draco Malfoy were placed in a mental asylum, as it was revealed that they were brainwashed by the Prayer Warriors.
  • Never Trust a Title: Chapter 10 is called "Piper and Jerry goes to Washington DC to Find out Who the Tractor is and Defeat them Once and for All so they would not terrorized by them ever again for as long as God allows Time to go on For." The only thing that actually happens is the Prayer Warriors going to Washing Dick - I mean, Washington D.C.
  • Playing Possum: After being struck by a Bolt of Divine Retribution, Jupiter seems to be dead. As the heroes come over to gloat, he suddenly gets up, kills Percy, and escapes.
  • Please Kill Me if It Satisfies You: One of Socrates' followers asks this of Jason after she is captured. He says that he will not kill her because doing so would be a sin (and this is immediately after he killed Socrates), and decides to keep her alive as his slave.
  • Quest for Identity: Jason is an amnesiac in search of his true memories.
  • Random Events Plot: The parts written by Thomas are completely disjointed and confusing. And pointless.
  • Retcon: Thalia proceeds to re-tell the time Percy killed Zeus, but this time, claims to have helped him.
  • Ten Little Murder Victims: Thelia believes that a tractor-er, traitor among the camp has been selling the rest of them out to Satan.
  • Unexpected Character: Edward Cullen and Jacob Black (depending on which version you're reading) show up at one point.
  • Unsound Effect:
    "Evil laugh!" said the vampire.
  • Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: The vampire.

    The Titans Strike Back 
  • A God Am I: Dumbledore is said to have made people worship him.
  • Back from the Dead: Harry and Dumbledore are shown in an exposition. Ginny was also revived by a Titan, and this example is blatant enough that Draco points it out.
  • Blow You Away: Lola, the titan of wind.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: This note at the end of Chapter 7. Granted, the author's saying this comes off as less of a surprise than most examples of this, but it's still fairly jarring compared to the previous items.
  • Busman's Holiday: Chapter 7 takes place on St. Patrick's Day. During their ob servance of the holiday, Draco's team winds up having to fight another demon (...St. George).
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Harry upon encountering Ginny again.
  • Death by Irony: The author seems to have been going for this by having Wawa, the titan of Water, be killed by drowning, but from the narration, he seems to have been dead by the time Draco and the others dumped his body in the sea.
  • Elemental Powers: Wawa, Lola, Rocco and Pyro are titans of water, air, earth and fire, respectively, although Lola is the only one who has demonstrated her powers so far.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Ginny joins the Prayer Warriors after coming back to life.
  • Mile-High Club: Averted. Draco and Ginny don't have sex while on the plane, because "that is wrong to do it on a public areas since sex is a sin and should be done private and because they are not married yet. Draco has never married before and he has never had a divorce."
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The Prayer Warriors apparently caused the deaths of many innocent Christians by destroying Hogwarts in Battle with the Witches, and so are planning on a slightly different approach this time.
  • No-Sell: Lola has the ability to distract people from prayer.
  • Oh, My Gods!: Harry says one.
    "Oh my fucking Satan."
  • Out-Gambitted: Harry poisons Ginny with a truth serum and thwarts her attempt to take her by surprise.
  • Sudden Sequel Death Syndrome: Jerry/Jeremy of all people is killed in the opening.
  • Sudden Sequel Heel Syndrome: Hagrid is apparently still loyal to Hogwarts, and lures Draco and Sansa into a trap
  • Torches and Pitchforks: The mob attacking the British royal family wields these.
  • Troll Fic: If any of the stories are, this one certainly is, since lines from My Immortal are quoted verbatim. Either that, or BelieverInChrist is the most goffik Christian ever.
  • Trrrilling Rrrs: Ginny randomly does this at one point.
  • Truth Serums: Harry uses one on Ginny.
  • Unexpected Character: Sansa Stark joins up with Draco as he returns to Hogwarts.
  • Villain Team-Up: Hogwarts and the Titans.
  • Wham Line:
    • Ginny's encounter with Harry doesn't go as planned.
    Ginny Narrating: Harry Potter was too quick for he had goatee a machine gun and pointed it at my fuck.
    Harry: "I knew perfectly well that you have tried to set me up for a trap but you do not realize that I have trapped you. I also ship into your drink you have just drank is truth syrup. So now tell me, where are Draco and Michael so that I can kill them?"
    • After Hogwarts is re-established, the Prayer Warriors plan on infiltrating the school, but run into a problem.
    Dumbledore: (to Draco) "I know that person!"
  • With Us or Against Us: Invoked by Draco when he had cornered a titan on a ship. He immediately threatens to kill anyone who doesn't go along with his plan.

    Attack of the Sphinx 

    The Prayer Ponies 
  • Bolt of Divine Retribution: Spike is struck by one of these, but lives. He immediately converts.
  • Climbing the Cliffs of Insanity: Fluttershy does this in Chapter 6 in order to prove herself to the other ponies.
  • Heel–Face Turn: While Applejack and Rainbow Dash never become Christian, they do decide to tolerate atheists.
  • Holy Burns Evil: Charity-Sue banishes the evil trees by praying.
  • Lighter and Softer: By a long shot.
  • One-Winged Angel: Princess Celestica - er, Celestia suddenly gains a demonic form when Jesus is mentioned.
  • Purple Prose: Chapter 8 mysteriously ends up using much more sophisticated vocabulary than the rest of the fic, and often not well. See Spike complaining about winding up in jail.
    "So you had to get yourself arrested," complained Spike, who was walk back and forward next to the bars to the prison cell, impatience and wanting things to hurry up quickly, nippily, and promptly. More steam than usual was coming out of his noise, as he became more agitated, moving here and there in accumulative belligerence. He hated being entangled and dishevelled into a small environment, and Fluttershy could tell that Spike was annoyed at her for putting him in that situation. "I do not think I can take it anymore." His bellowing got the sentinel alerted.
  • Troll Fic: Admitted by the author at one point.
  • We Used to Be Friends: When the ponies convert to Christianity, it puts them at odds with the friends who have not done so yet- mainly Twilight with Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Spike. This is resolved when they convert to Christianity.
  • When Trees Attack: Twilight Sparkle and Charity-Sue get banished to a forest filled with demonic trees.