Just For Fun / Get a Stupid Answer

Douglas: Question-and-answer film double bills.
Martin: What do you mean?
Douglas: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Gandhi.

— Cabin Pressure, "Xinzhou"

Lots of works ask questions. Some of these are rhetorical questions, never designed to be answered. Some of them are big questions that drive the entire plot. You could be respectful and wait for the work to finish addressing these questions. Or, you could be a jerk and give a sarcastic answer right now. This page is for the second one. Answer a rhetorical question. Make snarky responses to a work's driving question. Go ahead, this is a Just For Fun page. That kind of stuff is allowed. Warning: unmarked spoilers.

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Not to be confused with Ask a Stupid Question... which refers to questions acknowledged in-universe as being stupid.

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Examples:

• Advertising
• Anime & Manga
• Films - Live-Action
• Literature
• Live-Action TV
• Music
• Video Games
• Web Original
• Western Animation

Asian Animation

• Motu Patlu?
  • Absent!

Comedy

• Where is the blue food?
  • There's Blue M&M's.
  • Eiffel 65 ate it all. Why do you think they're so blue? (Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee, da ba di...)
    • I'm blue, I believe I will die, I'm in need of a guy, I got beat up at night. (In Aberdeen, I'm on diet)
  • In this delicious muffin.
  • Blue is an appetite suppressant. I'm not sure if that's a cause or an effect, though.
  • Percy's house.
  • The Crossings.
  • Next to the green food
  • I hear waffles come in blue. Go on, Google it.
    • Really? What's it look like?
    • I don't like food anymore.
• What's New Pussycat?
  • Scooby-D... Wait, wrong animal.
  • Somebody put this bell on me while I was asleep.
  • Good Guy and I are going to buy meat buns for the Lacking Lady! ^* And by that, I mean Good Guy's paying for them.
  • Who you calling a pussy?
  • You bunch of pussies. I'm just getting started. Lucille is thirsty.
  • *cough* Pussy! *cough* Bitch! *cough*. Ah, I'm sorry, my apologies. I meant to call you a pussy bitch. But without the coughing.
  • Which one? Josie, Melody or Valerie?
  • What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

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Comic Books

• What, are you dense?
  • Are you retarded or something?
    • Kira is a retard! Nah nah nah nah nah!
  • Who the hell do you think I am?
    • You are the walrus, goo goo g'joob.
    • Kamina?
  • Rho, I don't think so.
  • No, I'm kinda sparse.
  • How dare you comment on my mass-volume ratio?!
  • Dense and wacky.
  • Dim-witted... dense... dumb...
  • I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.
• Who watches the Watchmen?
  • The Watcher, duh.
  • All the other Watchmen.
  • Me. I watch myself all the time.
  • Whoever owns the probably watched it at least once.
  • Internal Affairs.
  • I don't know. Coast Guard?
  • Definitely not Alan Moore
  • The Watchmen-Watchers. But who watches them?
    • The Watchmen-Watcher-Watchers. But who watches THEM?
    • The Watchmen-Watcher-Watcher-Watchers. BUT WHO WATCHES THEM?
  • The National Watchmen-Watching Organization. The next two watching layers are covered as well.
• Do I still think in those little yellow boxes?
  • Apparently not, you think in TV Tropes bullet points.
  • What exactly is that supposed to ''sound'' like?
  • Not since they sewed your mouth shut.
  • If not it's probably Madcap.
• Who is The Question?
  • Charles Victor Szazs A.K.A. Vic Sage and Renee Montoya.
  • No, to be or not to be is the question. Who is the Doctor.
    • No, he isn't.
    • He is first baseman, though.
  • Walter Joseph Kovacs. No, wait, that's someone else.
  • ?
  • Just when they think they've got the answer, I change the question!
• Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
  • He left yesterday.
  • Nothing. It'll be at least a day before anything happens to him.
  • He's out fighting the Caped Crusader.
    • Actually, they're getting coffee.
    • Getting coffee for Hoffy of course, ya coarse whores!
  • He's visiting his cousin.
  • He's in another universe.
  • He'll be here tomorrow.
  • He's in another castle.
  • He's with the mouse.
  • He left tomorrow, but he'll be back by yesterday.
  • Whatever Didn't Happen to the Man of Yesterday?
  • I know that everyone is ending tomorrow; why, they are the 1st.
  • Leave the assassination tomorrow.
    • Everything will end tomorrow.
• Spider-Man: Threat or Menace?
  • Don't believe everything you read, folks! I'm more like an obnoxious prankster. Really, I'm a very nice person.
  • That's just two different versions of the same thing...
  • Neither. Unless he's in his black suit. Then he's both.
    • Miles Morales does not approve of above poster.
  • I happen to be both and I'm deeply offended. Wait, are you a cop? Forget what I said.
  • Threatening menace.
  • I'm here to kill you, so both.
• What the hell happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?
  • We woke up from it.
  • Last I heard she was still around over on Earth-982.
• Were you gentle? Were you kind?
  • Yes sir.
  • Did you treat her like a lady?
    • Uh... yes.
  • Did you eat her pussy like a lady?
    • Well, I...
    • I'm just fucking with you! A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy! Now get the fuck out.
  • If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to FUCKING God, I will stop being so polite.
• You ever hear the one about the guy that brought a baseball bat to a gun fight... FUCKER?
  • You ever hear the one about the stupid fuck named Rick who fucking thought he knew shit but didn't know shit and got himself fucking killed?
  • Bit of advice. Try using knives next time. Works better for close encounters.
  • No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing, because if I am you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
  • A gun is a coward's weapon. It lets us kill too easily, saving us the mess and the work.
    • But spittin' on people's okay?
  • And I don't. And that makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!
  • Captain BaseBallBat-Boy has an unbeatable track record in superhero deathmatches.
• Smile, damn you, why don't you smile? You've got enough Joker venom to finish off a regiment of elephants. Why don't you smile? Why don't you die?
  • Because I've heard it before... and it wasn't funny the first time.
  • True Art Is Angsty.
• Is the "hard" really necessary? Whatever happened to hitting people in moderation?
  • All things in moderation. Including moderation.
• Who dares?! Who dares strike the personage of Doctor Doom?
  • the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing! It's Clobberin' Time!
  • I'm the guy that tells you there are guys you can hit and there's guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, but it's almost a guy you can't hit. So I'm gonna make a fuckin' ruling on this right now. You don't fuckin' hit him. You understand?
• You dare? You dare to pull a gun on me — to pull a gun on me here? DO YOU?!
  • No, I'll wait until you finish your speech. Go ahead.
• WHO DARES SUMMON ETERNITY?
• I did the right thing, didn't I? It all worked out in the end.
  • THE CITY'S BEEN FUCKING DESTROYED!
    • Oh, come on! All's well that ends well, right?
  • But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
  • What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.
  • Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
• Is that a monkey?
  • He's got a gun!
  • Monkeys, apes, they all hold stuff with their feet, man! We're talking freaks of nature!
  • TRUKK NOT MUNKY!!
  • If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey, it’s an ape!
  • Do the monkey with me!
  • I am not a monkey!
  • The monkey's his uncle?
• Is this some kind of sex thing?
  • Why would it be a sex thing?
  • They call sex 'social links' here!
  • Sakuya, what's sex?
• How can you possibly live in a world without Superheroes?
  • You worry about the weather and whether or not you should hate.
• Who makes us suffer this way?
  • It was me, James. The author of all your pain.
  • I'm every bad day you ever had.
• Who writes the world?
  • Its creator is a drooling idiot!
  • THIS WORLD IS OURS AND WE WON'T STAND STILL!
  • I don't make the rules, I simply play to my intended purpose, the same as Stanley. We're not so different, I suppose.
  • Mira.
  • EVERYTHING IS MINE, THE WORLD IS MINE, AMERICA IS MINE!
  • Girls!
• What's so funny about Truth, Justice, and the American Way?
  • THERE IS NO JUSTICE!
  • You just don't get it, do you? Freedom is dead!
• I been reading about you... how you work for the blue skins, and on a planet someplace you helped out the orange skins... and you done considerable for the purple skins! Only there's skins you never bothered with -- the black skins! I want to know... how come?! Answer me that, Mr. Green Lantern!
  • Mr. Speaker, we can never compromise to black.
  • Truth be told, I'm not really a very big fan of 'the black people'.
  • I've heard of whites before, but I've never heard of blacks!
• They haven't stopped making frozen pudding pops, have they?
  • Wait, why didn't Linus show up?
  • Trust me. That meme's starting to get redundant.
• Why? That's what they all asked me. Why him... why Starscream? Why, of all Decepticons, did I decide to revitalize the one whose record of deceit and betrayal is '''legend'''?

Fan Works

• Are you one of us?
  • What, a troper? Yeah.
  • One of Us is a... oh. Wrong context.
  • You're one of them!
  • Since There Are No Girls on the Internet, yes.
  • No. What you gonna do now?
  • Gooba-gobble, gooba-gobble! We accept you, one of us!
  • Depends, who are you?
  • One of us? He looks like three of us!
• WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS?!
  • Making sweet love to pregnant women.
    • Mothers aren't perpetually pregnant.
  • Playing Russian Roulette, obviously.
  • Being a whiny little goffic bitch.
  • Your Mom
  • Draco.
  • I'm not doing anything wrong, just trying to catch my slippery little friend. And committing grand theft auto for two seconds.
  • Are you out of your fucking mind?! NO ONE fucks my maam!
• Is it a sin, should a man feel like faggarting a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles?
  • This sentence makes less and less sense as you go on.
  • Remember When You Blew Up a Sun?
    • Remember When You Faggarted a Sun?
  • How exactly do you 'faggart' something, anyway?
    • Very carefully.
  • But You Faggart One Sun
    • Bestiality's a sin, I'm still not sure how that one came up
  • Technically speaking, suns don't have to heave through the void, they simply... do.
  • Well, the sun is already in a relation with the moon. Kind of.
  • Tsukuyomi is not gonna be happy about this...
  • Your reign of terror ends here, Galactic Conqueror.
• Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
  • Yeah, so?
    • That's against the rules, isn't it?
    • Actually, there are several situations in which it is perfectly within the rules to summon more than one monster in a turn. It's called a Special Summon. Look at your freakin' rulebook.
    • Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
    • Screw the rules, I have green hair!
    • Screw the Money, I Have Rules! ...wait, let me try that again.
    • Has the whole world gone CRAZY?! Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
  • What else does it look like I did?
  • Triple Battles are a bit weird like that.
  • Actually no, I just ordered my Leafeon to use Double Team.
• Oh Shit, There's Fanfiction of Us!?
  • Oh, the fan fiction? Keep up the good work.
  • Wow, I have to admit, I'm impressed. Who knew all it would take to unnerve the almighty Kira was a couple of pages of poorly written smut?
  • Oh dear God. They’re going to write all the porn, aren’t they? Just all of it. Ewwwwwww.
  • Well, there was the one writer who really thought Unit 01 was cute. And...tentacles? Did any story need those many tentacles? Not that he was a bad writer, he was actually fantastic-
  • My Wolverine-and-Storm-in-space fanfic was the third-most upvoted story on Freaking Awesome last month!
• Do You Believe In Fairies?
  • I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!

Films — Animation

• Where is my super suit?
  • It's still at the cleaners, remember?
  • Probably not a good idea to shout that in public, for the sake of the masquerade.
    • The WORLD is in danger!
    • Our DINNER is in danger!
    • I wonder what's for dinner?
  • That's why you keep your Transformation Trinket with you at all times.
  • You left it in the phone booth.
  • It just appears when you spin around.
  • It just appears when you say "Shazam".
  • It just appears when you spin around and say "Shablagoo".
  • You threw it in the dumpster.
  • In your pocket.
    • What has it got in its pocketses?
  • In your ring.
  • Someone stole it.
  • It's under your clothes, remember?
• Why throw away your life so recklessly?
  • It's kind of what I do.
  • Death Is Cheap.
• Do you want to build a snowman?
  • Sure. We can make him tall, or we can make him not-so-tall.
  • No, let's build real men out of snow.
  • I'd rather build a meth lab.
  • No way man! What if it comes to life and starts trying to kill me?
    • When has that ever happened, except that one time?
  • No no, I can't be bothered with that, I have no time for that nonsense.
  • No, to tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling.
  • Would you like to build a Snowman Corporation?
  • *Growling*
    • Your words will earn you no mercy.
  • Captain Phasma wishes me to remind you that Stormtroopers are only to build snowmen as part of target practice exercises.
• You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you!
  • Wait, what?
  • You know how hard it is to aim this stinkin' thing?!
  • Eh, that's par for the course for me.
  • …He moved.
    • Shut up! Go and practice!
  • D'oh, I missed!
  • So I fired again, and I missed. And then I missed again. And then I fired again, and then I missed, and then I fired and I fired, and I missed. I missed both times. And then I fired, and I missed. This went on for several hours, and then I fired, and then I missed.
  • He had pointed stick!
  • Paper, rock, scissors.
  • Did we ever hit anything with these guns?
  • He had a nervous twitch fighting living targets. He never hit.
  • What kind of cop am I? I can't even shoot my own son in the face at point-blank range.
  • You see, the great thing about Jeremy's shooting is that you are perfectly safe just as long as you stand right in front of the target.
  • Hmm... probably shoulda waited till she got her new glasses.
  • I would've hit him, but this game is rated E!
• Where are my pants?
  • Wearing them. I hope.
    • "Wearing them"? What are your pants wearing, exactly?
    • But I'm not wearing them, that's why I'm asking!
  • If we had access to higher dimensions, we could move our pants around our bodies through the fourth dimension… and our days of dropping trouser would be over!
  • I haven't brought them up the entire campaign, I must have left them in Riverdale! [sic]
  • I have no pants...
  • You also have no pants (no shirt; real adventurers don't need shirts!)
  • That guy looks like he might be a lobbyist, let's get his pants.
  • Where we're going, you won't need pants!
• What's a "Wowie"?
  • You know, a wowie: a warge gathewing of mice, for a weason.
  • I wowie, you wowie, he-she-me wowie. Wowieing, wowieology, the study of Wowie! It's first grade!
• Oh, is the girl you left behind out there tonight romancin'? Makin' eyes at someone else? Is she singin'? Is she dancin'?
  • She's giving it up. She's giving it up hard. Because she's with Captain Hammer. And these... [holds up his fists] ...are not the hammer. The hammer is my penis.
• What can I say, except "You're welcome!"?
  • How about "Sorry I broke the world"?
  • Never mind.
• Who is that girl I see, Staring straight back at me?
  • Just Monika
  • "Whatchu looking at?" "EY! WANT ME TO FUCKING KILL YOU, MOTHER FUCKER?!"
  • Your Tethered.
• WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!
  • I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think the swamp is... calling to me.
    • That's Avatar stuff, that doesn't count!
  • Tapping mana.
  • You know, the next time you people come and drive us off our land I'm gonna find a nice piece of swamp that's so God-awful, maybe then you'll leave us the hell alone.
• Why do we even have that lever?
  • It was on sale.
  • To unleash burning magma death on EVERYTHING.
  • Because opening a pit of alligators with a doorknob would just look silly.
  • You built that secret hideout, you tell me.
  • Because you were waiting for some to stand there just so your crocs could have a meal.
  • It really tied the room together.
  • It was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect.
• "Be prepared!" Yeah, we'll be prepared! ...for what?
  • For the show that never ends.
  • "For the death of the king!" "What, is he sick?"
    • "No, fool, we're gonna kill him. And Simba, too." "Great idea! Who needs a king?"
  • "Disease control code!" "Why? She was infected?" "No, you moron! Cereal!"
  • Ah! I mean... uhh, um, for the... for the... for the stain... Abu got on the brand new vest you gave him.
  • Prepare to Die.
  • Everything.
• Can you feel the love tonight?
  • These two are absolutely feelin' it in this animated children's movie.
• Is that a challenge?!
  • This is not a challenge. It's a tragedy.
    • Yeah, you're telling me, mate! It's rubbish! There's gotta be a better ending than that!
• Does this mean I don't get my third wish?
  • If you wanted it, you wouldn't have said "I wish you grant all my wishes to the spirit and letter of the wish".
  • And I can't use my third wish for more wishes can I?
    • Actually you can. We tell everyone you can't, but in reality you can, we've been bluffing for centuries.
  • Wishes? What do I look like, a birthday cake?
• Why does everybody wanna see my schlong?
• Does anyone wanna see MY unit?
• Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?
  • Nobody has. The lyrics writer made it up.
  • All the time. It's called mescaline. It's the only way to fly.
  • Yeah. He told me you're gay.
• By the way... do you believe in ghosts?
  • A ghost tried to approach me and got Larry.
    • A ghost tried to approach me in the alley, he got scared cause we were in the alley.
  • I have the Holy Spirit; the spirit of abysmal despair!
  • You're a ghost. Get away from me!
  • Ghosts. Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead, hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink, and draw a Lenin face on it.
  • Uh, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
  • Hahaha... I guess not... That white hand on your shoulder... It's not real...
  • Puh! You're just a silly little engine! I'm not scared!
  • I'm dead. I'm a ghost.
    • Yes, but we won! Victory hug!
  • I believe ghosts are like dogs and they just sort of do things arbitrarily.
• How 'bout a nice, good, hot cup o' joe?!
  • You got anything stronger?
  • I like my coffee black. Like my men.
  • Cor! This coffee smells like shit!
  • This coffee strips me of all will to live. All that I am, all that I could be is stripped away by this black brew. It is despair made liquid.
  • Yeah, I wouldn't drink the coffee. Always tasted like boiled dirt.
  • Coffee tastes like your dog took a leak in it.
  • This coffee tastes like dirt.
    • It should, it was just ground this morning.
• WHO IN THE BLAZES APPLIED THAT EMERGENCY BRAKE?!!
  • Coco did it!
  • Tucker did it.
• Did your granny say, "listen to your heart"?
  • No, that was Roxette.
  • You pay too much attention to your granny. She knows a lot but she doesn't know everything.
• Wait, so... how many of us are there?
  • Just you. If I was a copy, why would I kick my own butt?
  • Enough! All fi- fou- ... ALL OF YOU! Shit. I'm fuckin' wasted and you're just sitting there.
  • There were about ten Mikes in my neighborhood. Bighead Mike spent more time in jail than out of jail. White Mike was just a white guy who lived on the block. Family didn't have enough money to leave. Tall Mike played ball. Monster Mike just scared kids. And 'Mike' Mike was actually the first Mike that lived on the block, but his real name was Paul.
  • Always two there are! An Evil Honeydew and Another Evil Honeydew!
  • Really? You're me? Both of you? Even that one? You're my future selves? Am I having a mid-life crisis?!
  • There Can Be Only One!
  • We're not shadow clones; the Character Designer's out sick today! I heard he got his ass kicked by a Cloud Cosplayer.
• Just how many more Spider-People are there?
  • Save it for Comic-Con.
    • What's Comic-Con?
  • At least two more with a Nerdfighter kid.
• You got a problem with cartoons?
  • Cartoons will ruin your mind.
  • Everyone knows comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, next to animation.
  • Everybody knows live action is better than cartoons!
  • Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!
  • I love to watch cartoons. Cartoon violence's a fascinating thing.
  • Who wants to see some dumb cartoon rated G-for-kids?
  • He see DEATH as a cartoon!
• Megatron? Is that you?
  • Ah, then you do remember my name. Pity I can't remember yours.
  • Megatron? Did you just say Megatron? Did he just say Megatron? THERE IS NO MEGATRON! Megatron is offline! TERMINATED! I DID IT MYSE— saw it myself.
• How's the, uh... How's the escape plan coming?
  • TheRe iS no wAy ouT oF heRe. It wiLl be darK sOon. TherE is nO waY oUt of hEre.
  • There must be some kind of way outta here, Said the joker to the thief
  • THERE IS NO ESCAPE!
  • HE TRICKED ME ONCE, BUT HE CANNOT ESCAPE... THE HERMINATOR!
  • It's no use; it won't budge!
    • I guess our only chance is to shag.
    • It's no use!
  • Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn't first.
  • Hm? You haven't escaped. I would have noticed that. The hedgehog!
  • You know that Goku makes a dramatic escape. You know the story, I'm not gonna tell it to you.
  • I have thoroughly analyzed our surroundings, and I am afraid that there is absolutely no means of escape. *clang* Except that.
  • I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
• ...you drank seawater, didn't you?
  • I have a natural curiosity.
• I've got to know! I've got to know! What is this place that I have found?! WHAT...IS...THIS?!
  • Welcome to Hell.
    • Michigan.
    • A horrible feeling of nausea comes over you!
  • You're in bed, holding a knife at your doctor's throat.
  • What are we in, Iraq?
• Where is that casual acting shuttle headed?
  • They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!
  • In a tragic development, the space plane is plunging directly toward the control tower. Wait a minute. I'm in the control tower! WAAAUGH!
• Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?
  • When I kidnap someone and steal a holiday?
  • Good times never last.
  • It doesn’t matter how flawless the scheme was, how impregnable the fortress or powerful the magical weapon, it always ends with a band of adolescents shouting utter platitudes as they tear it all down. The game is rigged so that we lose, every single time. Half the world, turned into a prop for the glory of the other half. Ah. How much worse it must be, coming from a culture that still teaches you you can win. We don’t even have that, Catherine. The hope of the happy ending. We get to cackle on the way down the cliff, or maybe curse our killer with our last breath.
    • I must say I have noticed that. But this time, it's different!
  • I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings.
• Can your friends do this?
  • Can your friends do that?
  • Can your friends pull this out their little hat?
  • Can your friends go poof? Hey, looky here, ha ha!
  • Can your friends go "Abracadabra," let 'er rip, and then make the sucker disappear?!
    • I made Carmelita disappear! You're next, Sly!
• What are you and who are you doing?
  • A fourth-grade teacher, and apparently, Dr. Frankenstein.
• Why is it the good villains never die?
  • I am very difficult to kill. You should already know that.
  • Rule of thumb, Hassan: You can't kill the Messiah.
  • I'll always have extra lives.
  • We're contractually obligated to keep stalling for three more seasons!
  • I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed, but remember: if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed.
  • You thought you defeated me. I'm much stronger than you expected. Now I will destroy you!!
  • Think you've got the best of me? Think you've got the last laugh?!
  • In my first appearance, the Bat was supposed to slay me -- but I can't be killed; that's why they cast a Phoenix to play me!
• What the hell are 'good villains'?
  • Look Vanessa, there's good evil and there's bad evil.
  • Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!
  • Proper villains know offing is fine, rape is not.
  • I am a professional fucking thief. I don't kill people that I don't have to, and I don't rape women.
• Did you know there was a razorback in my truck?
• Did you ever see an elephant fly?
  • Me teach you how fly!
  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that an elephant should be able to fly. Its ears are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The elephant, of course, flies anyway. Because elephants don't care what humans think is impossible.
• I hereby dub you, sir... er, er, by the way, what title would you like?
  • Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer
  • Sir Mix-a-Lot
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot, bitch.
  • Sir Apropos of Nothing
  • Don't Call Me "Sir"
  • Call me Sir. Everybody does because I tell them to. I'm the boss.
  • Sorry, No Dub for You.
• Good gracious! Who left the mop running?
  • Mickey.
• What do you say to a tree?
  • I am Groot?
• Do you wanna be a follower, or do you wanna be a leader?
  • "You want to run this ship?" "YEAH!" "Well... you can't."
  • And whoever said I wanted to be LED?! I'm better off calling my own shots now, get used to it!
• Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?
  • YOU are the MOST SEXIST — GAH! I'm embarrassed to be even RELATED to YOU!
  • She... is truly my son.
  • What, are you reading from a book of sexist villain cliches?
• Time out! Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING?
  • Gaz, taste me! I'm delicious!
• How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
  • Over NINE THOUSAND!!!
  • "Three?" "No." "Forty-two?!" "No." "Billions and billions?" "No." "Blue!" "No." "Mermaidman?" "That's not even a number."
  • As Obama told me, it's three!
    • "Really, only three?" "Uh-huh." "Funny, seemed like more."
  • Quick, somebody ask Randall Munroe!
  • Three: is also a number. Isn't that right, Watari?
• All I wanna do is the thing I love...doesn't everyone?
  • Well, I! Am not! Everyone!
• Wanna help me find my nuts?
  • I think they're with Toph.
• If you could play a swan, what would it sound like?
  • *RRRRRRRNNGGGGGG!*
• Boys and girls of every age, would you like to see something strange?
  • NO! Get out of here with that watch! Lay off the poor beavers, will ya?! SHEEZE! You're a creep! Go away; we were having a good time until you showed up, Jeepers! ARGH! Go have some coffee with cream, or something! Because I'll tell you something! This is a happy place!
  • Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I've seen a lot of strange stuff.
  • Strange? What's this 'strange' stuff, huh?! Are you saying that I'm strange?!
  • Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES!? TAKING YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAAA!!!!
• Where's the baby?
  • Well, listen up, Sonny Jim. I ate a baby! Oh, aye! Baby: The other other white meat.
  • Seeing the look on her face as her baby exploded into wet chunks... Priceless.
  • All bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.
• This guy was a fierce warrior?
  • They ain't the greatest heroes
    But they're the only ones we've got!
  • We didn't set out to be superheroes, but sometimes life doesn't go the way you planned.
  • I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby.
  • The Hero of Gallowmere, who fell at the first charge. The fog of war, and the shroud of time has rendered the arrow fodder the savior of the day. But we knows better.
  • I hear you been tellin' about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. With one bullet, wasn't it? Ain't that right? All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? Seems these folks trust you. They think you're gonna save their little town. They think you're gonna save their little souls! But we know better, don't we?
  • Look, red, I'm no hero. I'm just a guy from Jersey, alright?
  • We're not your classic heroes. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys. We're the guys nobody ever bets on.
  • They try to be heroes, but they're easy to replace! They're not the brightest, they're not the best, they're not the coolest, and they have bad breath!
• Wait a minute. I didn't screw you up, did I?
  • It's your fault, you bumbling metal-heads! I never should have made you!
  • You ruined everything,
    You stupid, stupid bitch.
    You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things,
    And wants the world to burn.
  • You were supposed to help me. But ya didn't!
  • You've ruined everything! And now, it's time to die!
  • Well... you did it. You took my one chance at happiness... and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny bite size pieces! I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that too!
  • I... might have fucked up, yes.
• You think you're my greatest enemy?
  • You've never heard of them, and after you've finished fighting them you won't remember it even happened, but for the next 90 minutes you'll think they're the biggest threat you've faced in your entire life!
  • Wait, wait. You ARE a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts, right? ...Yeah, you people are my LARGEST threat.
• Why Did You Have To Rip Off Carrie?
  • Money, Dear Boy.
• Is it wrong that this is turning me on?!
  • Does this sideboob turn you on? Well, it shouldn't, because it's myyyyyyy sideboob! Goodnight everybody!
  • I'm disgusted and repulsed and... and I can't look away.
• Why be you when you can be new?
• Remember the funny movie where the dog dies?
  • Turner & Hooch?
  • I love movies with happy endings.
  • Actually, it was not very funny.
• Can I say that curse word now?
  • Watch your fucking mouth!
  • Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A —
  • I'm gonna say the N-word!
    • I think the N-word is OK as long as they say it.
    • You can’t say the N-word, that’s racist!
  • You watch your mouth, you little pain-in-the-ass!
  • WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!
  • Hey! Watch your language around my fucking kid!
  • I will be forced to use... profanity.
  • You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.
  • Now, you've got to use the word 'fucking' because it makes you sound tough.
  • I have no need for filthy language.
  • This is a game for all ages, don't go saying those nasty words!
  • I'd curse if this game had a higher rating, your confidence is so nauseating!
  • Fuck you, ya dumbass, I ain't sayin' shit!
  • In this house, we say 'bull spit'!
  • And for gosh sake, watch your language!
  • Okay, no cursing in front of the adorably innocent fairy hallucination.
  • Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
  • You know...don't...say...sw-swears.
  • I can say anything I want now. Shit, shit, shit. Damn, hell, fuck! “Fuck”, that’s a bad one. What’s another curse word so I can say it?
• You stand here accused of 12 counts of murder in the first degree, 14 counts of armed theft of Federation property, 22 counts of piracy in high space, 18 counts of fraud, 37 counts of rape... and one moving violation. How do you plead?
  • Guilty!
  • Can we plead "that's not how we did it"?
  • I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...
  • I'll cop to public urination.
• I'm doing the math, I'm fixing the boyfriend, and keeping the baby from turning into a flaming monster! How do I do it?
  • We're gonna need a blowtorch, some peanut butter, a glass of limeade, and a giant platypus butt.
• Would you like to see a picture of my kids?
  • I don't want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn't look like every other baby is when it's a really ugly baby. So unless you're about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don't want to see it.
• How about a suicide pact?
  • Put a piece of glass in your eyyyyye... C'mon. Why aren't you killing yourself? Oh, God, I'm terrible at this!
  • Sorry. No suicide jokes.
  • Finally, God, take me. I want it now. Give me death. Just like Sonic.
  • "A true ending?"
• WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END!?
  • I just checked, and thankfully only 21 seconds!
  • Thy journey is over. Take now a long, long rest. Hahahaha....
  • This is all a bad dream... And you're NEVER waking up!
• On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
  • Oh, I'd say it's about a seven...point...arm ripped off.
• What?! After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? Just like that?!
  • He's our worst enemy, but I'm sure he'll accept if we ask nicely.
  • Because. You're the goody-good guys. You're the freaking cavalry.
• Do you trust me?
  • I do not need trust, I demand obedience!
  • I trust you implicitly, thieving child.
  • Why the f*ck would she, bro?!
  • I only trust one person, Jax. And you're talking to her.
• What did she say about me? What did she say?
  • What did you do without me? What did you do?
    • Eh, after you got knocked out, me and Dr. Narbon had this awesome battle royal that'd be super hard to draw.
  • Did you play games without me? What did you play?
    • LAST NIGHT I PLAY SUPA SMASH BRODAS
  • Did you think all this time that I wouldn't find out about you?!
• Do you ever wonder why we're always, like, wearing gloves?
  • These! Are! My! Hands!
• Where's your kid now, sheriff?!
  • I have one of those? Oh, God, I have two of those!
• I'm home, Leonard! Were you a good boy?
  • Leonard is a good boy!
  • I've been a bad boy!
  • Bats would say that I'm a bad boy, to kill without a reason.
• What kind of a princess are you?
  • I'm the motherfuckin' princess!
• Why should I worry? Why should I care?

Let’s Play

• Are hummingbirds the sharks of the sky?
• Oh my god what was the heck was the what the what the what?
  • You're also going to get a thumping in a minute.
  • Calm down and try that one again.
• Are your boobs ready?
  • Oh, I'm ready. You might not be.
  • I wanna play with your bouncy boobies!
  • I can't believe your tits are one polygon!
  • Stop peeping and move it! I'm dying, dammit!
  • THOSE BREASTS... THEY'RE TOO PERFECT!
• Vagisil?
• How do I put thrusters on a baby?
• Should we do Daisy on hard?

Pro Wrestling

• DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
  • Yeah...and it stinks!
    • IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT STINKS!
  • Hells yeah, it smells delicious!
  • Is that...roast beef?
    • No, it's pie!
    • A pie IN YOUR FACE!
  • Is it... stone soup?
  • No. I don't have a nose.
    • Really? How do you smell?
    • Awful! Trust me, I'm his roommate.
    • I can't; I don't have a nose!
  • You know, I'm really sorry we haven't worked out that scratch-and-sniff TV yet.
  • My face was born for beauty. I have no smell.
  • Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
  • Smells like... chili beans.
  • Actually, that was me. I made a darth doody. I sithed my pants. My diaper's gone over to the dark side. I have pages of these, I can go on.
  • YOU SMELL LIKE APPLE TURNOVERS!
  • It smells like wet fur in here.
• What you gonna do... when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
  • A barrel roll.
    • It's an aileron roll, you piece of Amoeboid dung. Also, it's 2016. Are we still saying "do a barrel roll"? Get out of here with these 2012 memes. Lay some fresh ones on me.
  • Gonna live my life.
  • Initiate Attack Pattern Alpha.
  • Do a little dance ~Make a little love~.
    • Get down tonight.
  • I'll take this chip... and eat it
    • Hand me anotha bag o' dem chips!
    • I see you're enjoying those chips!
    • Chips? You mean potato chips?
    • Seriously, where are the potato chips?
    • I'll take a potato chip, and... put it back because this will go straight to my thighs, no thank you!
  • I will cast down your Codex and bask in the dying agony of those who hold it dear.
  • Hulk isn't enough to save the world.
• Really? Really?
  • Yes.
  • Really.
  • Release restraint, level 1.
  • YA RLY
  • Going after the Regime was one thing, but destroy the planet for Brainiac? You really thought I'd go through with it, Grodd? Really?! *BLEEP* YOU!
• Can you dig it... SUCKAAAAA?!?!
  • I certainly can, and I might find coal, or gold, or even obsidian.
  • I don't know. Are you talkin' 'bout Shaft?
    • John Shaft.
  • I shovel well. I shovel very well.
    • I'VE GOT A SHOVEL, I'VE GOT A SHOVEL, I'M GONNA BEAT YOU WITH IT 'TIL YOU'RE A PUDDLE!
  • That might not be a good idea.
  • Prepare to taste justice! Shovel justice!
  • 2376. The Dwarven work ethic is not just "Dig until we hit evil."
  • "Speaking of sucking, how's your jaw doing, Sonic?" "Actually, it's feeling much be—— ...YOU!"
  • Diglett dig. Diglett dig. Trio, trio, trio.
  • I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole! Diggy diggy hole!
  • We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig in our mine the whole day through
    To dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig is what we really like to do.
  • GORON POWER, GOOO!!!
• How do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder?
  • Gravity teaches you most of it for free. It is a harsh mistress.
    • Gravity Is Only a Theory.
  • By running out of stamina.
• How much more punishment can he take?
  • How much has he had already?
  • KO!
• What kind of disgusting, despicable lack of respect does that Billy Whatshisname show, booking a match for the Total Package Lex Luger at Superbrawl? Super Saturday? What is it? I don't know what it's called! What's it called? Superbrawl Saturday? Can he afford to pay me to wrestle Ron? I DON'T KNOW!
  • Wrestle Ron? Don't think so.
• Who booked this crap?
  • Vince Russo?
• WHO'S YOUR DADDY, MONTREAL?
  • Paul de Chomedey de Maisonneuve
• Wakaru ka, ore no chikara? Wakaru ka, ORE WA ICHIBAN!?^Translation Do you understand my power? Do you understand that I'm number one?
  • No. Could you demonstrate?
  • How's that for a coincidence? My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels as well!
  • You Are Number 6
  • We are number one! HEY!
    • "Tears up"
  • You were always the best. Nobody ever came close. You define the art and it defines you.
• Who's that jumpin' out the sky?
  • You don't have to fly too high, to get too close to the sun, see the boy fall from the sky.
• You think you can tell us what to do?
  • You think you can tell us what to wear?
    • Did you come to force this woman to put on clothes, too?
    • If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do.
  • You think that you're better?
    • I'm basically better than you at everything.
    • You guys always act like you're better than me!
    • I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone!
    • You are the audience member! I am the author! I outrank you!
    • You're a third-class Saiyan! I'm a Saiyan Elite, you low-class dog!
    • Son of a bitch! How can they be so arrogant?! No one's better than me!
    • I am greater in every way.
    • Who's stronger than Hulk? No one! NO ONE!
    • Anything you can do, I can do better.
    • I'm more important than you'll ever be in your life, so fuck you!
  • No one can tell me what to do!
  • What I choose to do is decided by me.
    • The grandest illusion of all.
  • You Americans are so fond of being in charge.
  • I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me?
    • I'm not bossy! Don't say things like that!
  • Remember! Football develops initiative, leadership, and individuality! Now go out there and do exactly as I told you!
  • Who asks someone to do something that they don't want to do themselves?! Oh hey, can you go and get me a Lakitu's Cloud, Mario?
  • Stop telling me what to do!
• You all think I'm a frog-faced loser?
  • LOSER! YOU'RE A LOSER! DO YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DIRT! YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU BIG BABY! BABY WANT A BOTTLE? A BIG DIRT BOTTLE?!
  • Who are you calling losers?!
    • But he's got the rest right.
  • Okay, let me make this very simple for all of you. You're losers! I don't mean that in an endearing way; It fucking hurts me that I have to interact with all of you so much.

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Radio

• Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
  • God. Assuming you believe in that sort of thing. If not, don't worry about it.
  • Well, obviously I do. I was only wondering if there was someone else.
  • Edward D. Morrison.
  • Aatrox.
  • Ooh! I do! I do!
  • Put your hand down, Ferb...
  • Blood?
• HOW MANY REMIXES DO YOU IDIOTS HAVE?!
  • GYAH HA HA! I'ma remix your face!
• Phillip, do I still have the power to behead people?
  • Lock them in the tower, perhaps?
  • Punch in the face would do.
    • One of these days, Laura, I'm gonna punch you in the face!
    • Never stick your hand in my face again, bitch! FUCK YOU!
  • Lao Tzu said: 'You must find the way.' I've found it. You must find it too... So I'm going to cut off your head. Then you'll know the truth!
  • I believe decapitation is a problem as well.
  • Well, I guess decapitation works.
  • I mean, I was going to suggest being trapped in R. Kelly's basement. But yes, decapitation is also bad.
• Why is everybody looking at me?
  • Because you're not wearing anything.
    • Good grief! He's naked!
    • Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.
  • You're the distraction.
• DO YOU EVEN HAVE A SOUL?
  • Oh, please. I have no soul.
• Why did you murder those six million Jews?
  • They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I HATE THEM!
• WHAT THE HELL IS THAT PANDA DOING HERE!?
  • Who is driving? Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be?!
  • You can't just introduce a character in your movie riding a panda to school and not explain that shit! I established my fucking dog in storyline and I do Internet reviews!
  • Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol.
  • Learning kung-fu.
• Do you want me to stick around for a while?
  • Why don't you, why don't you just fuck off and die?!
    Why can't you just fuck off and die?!
    Why can't you just leave here and die?!

Theater

• To be, or not to be?
  • Not to be. Definitely not to be.
  • * large explosion*
  • Depends, is it nobler in spirit to suffer the slings and arrows... umm... screw it, not to be!
  • True. (2B)∨¬(2B) is a tautology.
  • All of the above.
    • None of the above.
  • Yes.
    • No.
  • "Our revels now are ended, Kirk! Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!"
  • Oh, why ask me?
  • Turn to page 16 TO BE
    • or NOT TO BE: turn to page 17
  • To be what?
    • To Be a Master.
• And are you beautiful and pale, with yellow hair like her?
  • No, you're just sort of brown.
• What do you read, my Lord?
  • Words, words, words.
  • This Very Wiki.
  • The last time I read a book, I was raped — let that be a lesson to you.
  • I never learned how to read!
  • Idiot's Guide to Kicking Your Ass.
  • What, are you reading from a book of sexist villain cliches?
  • Jokes on you, pal: I can't read!
• O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
  • Why does that matter? Isn't the real problem the "Montague" part?
  • Because my great-uncle was named Romeus, and my father really respected him.
• Why are thou yet so fair?
  • I dunno!
• Is this a dagger that I see before me?
  • No, now give me back my pencil.
  • No, I'm just happy to see you.
  • Well if it was behind you, you wouldn't see it now, would ya, dumbass?
  • Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief, you see. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.
  • It's Mack the Knife.
  • No! It's Truffaut the Wonderdog!
  • No, it's a Glock 17.
    • Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol.
• What light through yonder window breaks?
  • The "C" train.
    • Hear that Mister Anderson? That's the sound of immobility. That's the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mister Anderson.
  • Explosion in the chem lab.
    • Dammit, I told you to be careful!
  • A house fire.
  • It is a rock, and Juliet has a concussion.
  • That window up there, dummy.
  • (3x10⁸/λ)x6.63x10^-34
• How do you solve a problem like Maria?
  • With cheese.
  • Kill It with Fire!
    • No! Kill It with Water!
    • No! Kill It with Ice!
    • No! Kill It with... Steam?
  • Reassignment to Antarctica!
  • I know dis guy, see? You pay me, I get him to take care of da problem for you.
  • No! It's not Maria that's the problem! It's the black hedgehog she's with that's the problem!
    • Bit late for that now.
    • You mean Sonic?
  • Get Celes to take over her role in the opera.
  • Settle it in Smash!
  • If you want to know, just ask Maria how she solves a problem.
• How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
  • On film.
  • Pick up the phone, leave her alone... it's time you made a stand!
  • Simple:
  Step 1: Condense cloud into water.
  Step 2: Freeze water into ice.
  Step 3: Insert pin.
  • Use Bind.
  • I'm a pegasus pony. I'll see what I can do.
  • "We'll catch up to the Egg Carrier in no time." "You fucking passed them!!"
• My God, who is this man, who hunts to kill?
  • Well, hunting to mangle is needlessly cruel.
  • Mom... I kill people.
  • I haven't murdered anyone! Well, not today, anyway...
  • Kira.
    • Kano, ya bloody prick!
  • An Egomaniac Hunter.
• Why do they want to whip poor Will again?
  • Isn't he the designated whipping boy?
    • He's had that pleasure for years and years.
  • HEY! I'm not poor!
  • Because he let the cannon drop.
• Do you hear the people sing?
  • Yes. They have some serious bad tone issues.
    • Pretty voices singing somewhere else, not here.
  • You... don't sing very well.
• Mary and Ethel who?
  • Mary Crawley and Ethel Parks.
  • Mary Daisy Dinkle and Ethel the rooster.
  • Mary Tyler Moore and Ethel Winant.
• Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?
  • That depends, who's asking?
  • To quote from Hamlet, act 3, scene 3, line 87, "No!"
• What shall we do now? What is our cue now?
  • Exit, pursued by a bear.
    • This isn't funny! I'm being chased by a giant stuffed bear!
  • OBJECTIVE: Talk to the idiot wearing sunglasses.
    • OBJECTIVE: Find Gloria Van Graff at the Silver Rush in Freeside and make that bitch eat her hair.
    • New Objective: RUN AWAY
  • When the doors close, just say 'Go'. Better.
  • When a bell rings, the pieces need to shoot the angels.
  • Rub your stomachs. Goo-ood. Goo-ood. Now pat your heads. Hel-lo. Hel-lo.
• Do you mean "orphan" - a person who has lost their parents, or "often" - frequently?
  • Neither. I mean "offin'", as in how I became an orphan to begin with.
• When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
  • Well, I can do next Tuesday.
  • We'll meet again some sunny day...
  • God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
  • We will meet many more times... in the sequel!
    • We must stop and wonder, how long until the sequel? It depends on the box office.
  • Let's all meet back at the malt shop!
  • Just wait until Banjo-Threeie!
  • I have a feeling we'll meet again, each and every week. Always in more sexy and exciting ways.
• Who's there?
  • IT'S ME.
  • No, he's playing baseball.
  • Is this another "Knock Knock" Joke?
• Does anybody have a map?
  • I'm the map, I'm the map...
  • Who needs a map?!
  • They suck at making maps!
• What will you do, Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris-man?
  • Can I at least do an Enemy Scan first?
  • ...I can't find him.
  • Please stop, I don't believe in free love!
• Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?
  • 829. Despite the song's claim, a pelvic thrust does not cause Sanity loss.
• Ditez-moi pourquoi la vie est gai?
  • No, YOU'RE gay!
  • Pardonnez-moi, je ne parle pas très bien français.
  • Yes! I am the king of gay chicken!
  • Yes, that's right. I'm a gay robot.
  • A long time ago, when the gays weren't all in your face about it...
  • The correct term is lesbain! UH, NOT THAT I'M A LESBAIN!!
  • We're here, we're queer... I mean, all for one and one fo- forget it.
  • No one's gay for Moleman...
  • He's almost too gay to function.
  • Maybe I'm gay, or maybe stereotypes are bullshit.
  • I'm gay. I'm totally, totally gay.
  • I'm straight! I'm straight! You’re the homos! Every last one of you!
  • Silver, you know what? You're a twink. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now.
  • I was gay before the light!
  • I told you, I'm not gay!
  • I ain't gay, but I'll lay back.
  • I'm not gay, but that Light Yagami is one fine piece of ass.
  • My boyfriend is GAY!
  • Possibly homosexual. Must investigate further.
  • Go away, you fucking gay!
  • Nigga, you gay!
  • What, just because a guy likes to dress effeminately, and hang around with another extremely attractive man, and read yaoi, and flaunt his gorgeous abs, and stroke a phallic symbol suggestively in every other scene, that automatically makes him gay?
  • Ok, ok! I admit it! I'm gay, I'm gay! I like men, and I like men's bottoms, and I have a whole folder on my computer filled with Thiefshipping pictures!
  • Fuck it! I'm gay!
  • Last night I was worried that I might be gay, but you are possibly the hottest girl I have ever laid my eyes on.
  • Yeah. I like to fuck a girl with another guy in the same hole. Does that make me gay? And what if that girl is a guy?
  • Is he gay, or is he peeing?
  • A little gay is fun when you're Russian!
  • Hey, hey, how's the gay? I said, hey, hey, how's the gay?
  • When I was your age, I took penis in the poophole for almost two days. I said "Fuck you, kind parents, for giving me buttsex to make me gay."
  • You're GAY?! FUCK you!
  • You're all faggots! FAGGOTS, I SAY!
    • Faggot: A bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks]
  • This place is gayer than I expected!
  • Mother said not to be straight! I should've heeded her advice!
• Why Marry?
  • There's Something About Marrying.
  • Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
• Objection! What about snakes?
  • Asps... very dangerous. You go first.
  • It's not just a poisonous snake... it's a MONSTAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
  • Graham, watch out! A POIsonous snake!
  • You're still a cunt, Steve! Go fuck your snake!
  • Ugly, scary, snake... shitface!
  • Snake people, or 'Sneople', control our government at the highest levels!
• Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town?
  • Anything That Moves.
    • Except Brief.
  • The pizza boy.
  • A robot.
  • Yourself.
    • I do not fuck me.
    • Get off me, you handsome devil!
    • And so we fucked ourselves.
  • The villain.
    • 1775. Just because I spared the villain's life doesn't mean she owes me a first date.
  • The teacher.
  • A single mom.
    • Your mama sure does care about your schooling, son!
    • I love you like your father did. I believe in you like your father did. I even had sex with your mother just like your father did!
  • The boss and his wife.
  • The gangster's girl.
  • Your friend.
  • The widow.
  • Your cousin.
    • If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.
  • Your patient.
  • A chicken and a goat.
    • ...W-well, I mean, to be fair to Larry... is chicken-sex ever really consensual?
  • I didn't fuck anybody...
    • I think maybe she's telling the truth.
    • Um... our Easter Bunny disagrees.
  • The wrong people.
  • Marcel Toing.
  • Rule of Acquisition #112: Never have sex with the boss' sister.
  • Rule of Acquisition #113: Always have sex with the boss.
  • A wife.
    • Now if you'll excuse me, I have more ladies to go to bed with. Isn't that right, Doctor Ivo Robotnik?
    • The Kingpin has rules — rules which you would do well to memorize. Among these rules is one stipulating that we do not touch another man's wife for any reason — ever.
  • A grandma.
    • I don't know if I can pound your grandma!
    • Fucking making my granny like she would bang an African YOU FUCK! MY GRANNY'S NOT STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK, YOU FUCKIN' TROLLS!
  • A giant fish.
  • Go fuck your snake!
    • I don't fuck snakes! That's disgusting!
  • I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
    • What did you do that for?
  • The devil.
    • Satan has penetrated you over 13,000 times, you whore... GOD DEMANDS YOUR REPENTANCE!
  • Go to the church and ask God to fug you!
  • A snail.
  • Don't know how to "fuck" something.
  • Bees and the eagles.
    • It's hip to fuck bees!
  • A butterfly.
  • A bull.
  • Your sister.
    • Big brother I want you to give me your big juicy thick c**k and drench me with your hot sticky c** until I'm gasping for air!
    • "Oh yeah, and remember in the twelfth grade, you had sex with her? Ha—"
      
      ...
      
      "Okay, enough reminiscing."
    • Son of God or son of man, Marseille; you can't fuck your sister and expect much good to come of it.
    • You fucked your sister! You little pervert!
  • Your twin.
  • Your father.
    • Eeeeww!
  • Your mother.
    • Well, if you're my dad, it makes the last dub horrifying. God.
    • Fried chicken tramp! You want to be your mother's lover? In earnest?
  • The dead.
    • I love dead people. Frequently.
    • That... may be the worst thing you have ever said.
    • C'mon now, mate. Gotta have standards! I know we're shootin' and rapin', but necrophilia's a step too far.
  • Children.
    • You're sweet, but you're just four feet.
      And you still got your baby teeth.
      You're too young, and I'm too well hung.
      Tonight, I'm gonna rock you!
  • I'd fuck Bayonetta!
• Where is love?
  • In Saskatchewan.
• Who will buy my sweet red roses?
  • Not the Prince. Begone, you hideous old hag!
    • Who are you calling old?!
  • There's fennel for you, and columbines. There's rue for you, and here's some for me. We may call it herb of grace o' Sundays. O, you must wear your rue with a difference! There's a daisy. I would give you some violets, but they wither'd all when my father died.
• How do you measure, measure a year?
  • With a calendar.
• What is this feeling, fervid as a flame? Does it have a name?
  • What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?
• Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?
  • I've got soul to spare, but none for you.
• Why do we build the wall?
  • To keep the Mexicans out.
• Funny?
  How'd I fail to see this little bedtime tale was funny?
  • The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.
  • The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to the rout.
  • Spider-Man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That’s not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious.
  • There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it’s a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain’t comin’ back.
  • A baby just watched his mother die right before his eyes. Why is this so hilarious to me? Oh wait, no, I know why. It's because she died by getting bonked on the head by an empty shell casing!
  • Primal kinda died too by becoming a hilarious pancake on the floor, which seems more like a gag for Waspinator in Beast Wars than a supposed-to-be dramatic death for your main hero.
  • I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!
  • The awful thing was that you probably thought this was funny. But it isn't. At all. Ever.
  • I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a fucking comedy.
    • Everyone knows comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, next to animation.
• When the hell did I lose my temper?
  • When someone brought up Niagara Falls.
    • NIAGARA FALLS?! Sloooooooooowly I turned...
    • Step by step... Inch by inch...
  • When someone pressed your Berserk Button.
• Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do?
  • HEY! I'm not poor!
• Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?
  • Because all you of Earth are IDIOTS!
• Why do you write like you're running out of time?
  • Welcome to the phenomena that is Christmas Rushed.
• Where is the telephone? Is here no telephone?
  • No, not since the Bratty Half-Pint broke it.
    • I am not a brat! Take it back! Take it back!
• What did Batman do in Katmandu?
  • The Batusi
• When you're dead, who gives a shit?
• What’s a Jellicle cat?

Tropes

• What Happened to the Mouse?
  • He died because he didn't believe in The Power of Cheese.
  • You mean he had no faith in cheeses?
  • *Snap* There he is.
  • Ran out of battery power again, hold on...
  • He's fine.
  • He met the cat.
  • He went on to become the mascot of a massively successful entertainment juggernaut and one of the world's most recognizable fictional characters. The Rabbit, on the other hand, fell into relative obscurity.
  • Well, there's only one way to find out: a "where are they now"-style end credits montage!
• What's A Secret Four?
  • I don't know, but three of them are dead.
    • Four Is Death
  • I am.
  • I didn't know that four was a secret.
    • Probably because Four Is Death.
  • I thought there were more 'Elite' than anything else...
  • Isn't it supposed to be Fantastic?
  • Shouldn't they be Heavenly Kings or something?
  • I thought there were six of them...
    • Weren't there seven?
  • Wait let me try one. Okay, so this guy was chained up... chains are often used for construction work... the fourth cardinal is at a construction site!
    • What? Don't be stupid. The fourth element is water, so he's in a fountain.
  • The New Squidbeak Splatoon's newest recruit.
• Who's on First?
  • Yes.
    • Then tell Yes to come over here!
  • Not the pronoun, but a player with the unlikely name of Who, is on first.
  • No, Who's on stage.
    • How should I know who's on stage?
    • I don't know!
    • Third base.
  • No, Who's on after Top Gear.
  • Téa Leoni, in a bit part.
  • No, Hu was on third. Stryker was on first.
• What's a Henway?
  • It's a pun on the ambiguity created by "what is" and "what does" having homophonic contractions. Oh sorry, I misunderstood - a hen weighs about 3 pounds.
  • A martial arts style based upon chickens.
    • Chicken attaaAAaaaAAAck, chicken attaaaaAAAaaaAAck, watch your back before it fades to black, they might look harmless but they'll kick your non-chicken ass!
  • Are you sure you don't mean Kenway?
• Dude, Where's My Respect?
  • Your wife got that in the divorce.
  • Do you deserve any?
  • Down the hall, third door to the left.
  • You can respec your stats here, sir, but you're going to have to pay first.
  • I'll tell you after you help me find my car.
  • What kind of disgusting, despicable lack of respect does that Billy Whatshisname show, booking a match for the Total Package Lex Luger at Superbrawl?
  • Show some goddamn respect!
  • No One Respects the Spanish Inquisition.
  • I respect you, Barnacle Man.
• How Do I Shot Web?
  • Hit the button on your mechanical web shooters.
  • Fire Arrows. More convenient than a stick!
  • Shooting the web doesn't make much sense. The bullet would probably go through the holes in it!
    • Ah, so You Have to Burn the Web.
  • X. But you'd know that if you hadn't skipped the tutorials.
    • Nope, A. I use a 3DS.....
  • Your tenses are wrong.
  • You have a magical yo-yo. Use that instead. I'll teach you how to swing with it, though.
    • Just be sure to Watch Out for That Tree!...
• What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?
  • Heart Is an Awesome Power!
    • We agree.
  • Etna and Hanako says it creates a beam powered by the hearts, dood.
  • Link, fill up your hearts, so you can throw your sword, with power...
• How Did We Miss This One?
  • Looks like someone Failed a Spot Check.
  • Even with these sights, we've got a target 100 yards away, maybe more, we've never fired these rifles before, there's a definite wind factor, and we've got a problem with the sun!
  • That's what you get for working with the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
  • It was surrounded by a bunch of other 1's. Binary is hard to work with.
  • Freaking Sand-Attack.
    • Freaking Teemo.
  • Sauron fails at Blue's Clues. HE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
  • Update, we still have no fucking clue where this guy is.
  • HOLY BALLS! HOW DID I MISS THAT?! Wait, how'd you thaw out so quickly? We're a million feet in the air! It's like, zero degrees!
  • Is it over there? Doesn't look like it.
  • ERROR! Unable to determine how a base this size has gone undetected. ERROR!
• Have You Told Anyone Else?
  • Yes.
  • No. *gets killed*
  • Is there a third option?
    • How about "Do you trust me to have told anyone else before you"? That or "How dumb do you think I am?"
  • If we say "nobody", are you going to stab us with your bush scissors?
  • I did more than tell the others, I Made Copies!
• You and What Army?
  • The U.S. army.
    • Oh, that's a good army.
  • The Salvation Army.
  • This army.
  • Me. I'm the army.
    • Or, rather, Me, I'm an army.
  • Mine, as a matter of fact.
  • Er, the British Army, of course.
  • This army of six.
    • You mean the witch, the werewolf, the robot samurai, the magical girl, the cat and the incredibly evil ghost? ^* Not pictured: The teenage girl with the magic healing hands. Definitely not pictured: Some idiot with a red coat and an arm that doesn't work.

• We have a Hulk.
• I am as strong as any army!
• The armies which are between my handies and my shoulderies.
• Never ask that question...
• A wizard and 5 pikemen.
• I have the Holy Spirit; the spirit of abysmal despair!
• I call him "Dillo."
• Only the army of the living dead.

• My God, What Have I Done?
  • Anything That Moves.
  • Your Mom.
  • A lot of murdering stuff.
    • Murderers, and mad dog stuff.
  • Absolutely nothing.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.
  • Jesus Christ, I launched a missile.
  • Just killed a man.
    • You've killed two-hundred and fifty-four by my last count. Plus about five hundred men, a few dozen giant spiders, and at least two demons.
  • ...I went for the head.
  • You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.
  • You did it. You killed her. You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were only thinking about yourself.
• When Is Purple
  • I don't know, but it sounds like the smell of snow.
    • It looks like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tastes yellow, and feels Paisley. It smells like a total eclipse of the moon. Of course, nearer to the tower it gets really weird.
  • Last Yesterday. Next Tommorrow.
  • This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.
  • You can't even purple because you're ugly and you're stupid and you're bad! That's right: you can't even purple!
• Who Writes This Crap?!
  • That Troper does! The hack.
  • Those who have gone before.
  • You do, boss.
  • Studio Gainax.
  • Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!
  • Since the movie started, this scene is the most retarded.
  • This episode is pissing me off, so much stuff is getting skipped over, and there are no explanations for why major plot points are happening right this-
  • Mrs. Trellis of North Wales.
• Et Tu, Brute?
  • Ita me omni tempore fuit! Sentio de bonitate! ^* Yes, it was me the whole time! I feel good about it!
    • I am so... proud!
  • You lied to me. You betrayed me. You used me. You fucked up my face.
  • IT'S ME, AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, AUSTIN!
  • I had no choice.
    • Oh, of course we understand, don't we, Chewie? He had no choice.
  • No, I ate three.
• Remember When You Blew Up a Sun?
  • That was the most hilarious day in my life. I'm still not quite sure how the barbie doll and a plate of spaghetti could have done that.
  • I'm sorry, but I don't remember any of it. Because you see, the day I blew up the sun might be the most important day in your life. But for Me, It Was Tuesday.
  • But the sun is a deadly laser!
• What the Hell, Hero?
  • I Did What I Had to Do.
    • "ACCIDENT"
  • ...It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.
  • I had no choice... I super felt like it.
  • Well to be honest with you, I've been trying to go legit. I really take my sumo wrestling seriously, you know. But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair, will always be tragically skewed.
  • It doesn't even matter now, I'm a fugitive anyway. What do I care? I launched a missile!
  • FUYUTSUKI DID IT!
  • Tony, there was no other way.
    • Nicely done, Tenno! Defeating Kela in front of her audience will show all the Grineer that there is another way.
• What the Hell, Player?
  • Don't be a player hater.
• What The Hell, Casting Agency?
  • Ability over Appearance, I hope...
• What the Hell, Costuming Department?
  • Terribly sorry. The wardrobe malfunctioned.
• Did You Actually Believe...?
  • I am a Mormon and, dang it, a Mormon just believes.
  • If I didn't, we probably wouldn't be in this situation.
  • I believe a dream can still come true; why shouldn't I believe the same in you?
  • Believe it!
  • I believe in tachyons!
  • No way! I can't believe this!
  • But there really was a cake...
  • Bobby is not a believer, nor does he have faith.
  • See, I believe you, but does my gun believe you?
  • And you believed that? Because I'm going to have you killed now. Relax. I'm fucking with you.
  • Your friends too faith.
  • I find that impossible to believe.
  • All you have to do... is BO-lieve!
• Why Won't You Die?
  • First Law of Resurrection, my friend.
  • NANOMACHINES, SON!
    • LIFE FIBERS, DAUGHTER!
  • POLKA WILL NEVER DIE!
  • Beneath this mask is an idea. And. Ideas. Are. Bulletproof!
  • I renewed my Joker Immunity and Never Say "Die" insurance - best you can hope for is locking me up for a bit, I'm afraid.
  • I have, actually. Hundreds of times. We've done this specific situation plenty of times enough.
  • Determination.
    • Ooh. And still that fiery spit of hope. You have the spirit of a true Jedi! And because of that... you must die.
  • Heroes never die! ^* For a price.
  • And that is how to summarise the Stone Wall character trope in competitive play.
  • "This is hard enough for me!"
  • Because I am made o-o-o-o-of Lo-o-o-o-ove... Lo-o-o-o-ove... And it's stronger than you...
    • You're not stronger than me, you little runt!
  • “I am the main character” replied Dark with snark “now watch me lampshade even more tropes”.
  • Sorry, this time I die.
  • How? Well, it's quite simple, really. You see, girlie, you may think ya got me all figured out, but there's one thing you didn't account for: my numbers are bigger than yours!
  • This is, like, issue one... Or maybe it's another backup or something?
    • I must say I have noticed that. But this time, it's different!
  • Steel your heart with the armor of contempt, humankind faces an eternity of war before it, for our enemies are mortal no longer.
  • Oh, who is this guy? Liquid Snake?
  • I'll never die.
    • Oh shit!
  • It's possible I can't die. Same could be said of you. Let's put it to the test.
• Have You Seen My God?
  • Yes. Last Tuesday, I believe.
  • Who Is This God Person, Anyway?
    • Sorry, last I saw him, he was disappearing in a Puff of Logic.
    • I hear that he speaks of Marty Robbins.
  • Where were you when you last had him with you?
  • Try filling in the missing spaces on a constellation map.
  • Yes, they played it live when I went to see them at Eden Court. Classic song.
  • They might be working in one of the stores in Babel Tower.
  • Guess what? He's right here! And he's fresh out of mercy.
  • God Is Dead.
    • Will you then say, 'I am a god', in the presence of those who kill you? You will be but a mortal, not a god, in the hands of those who slay you.
    • Oh no, the zombies killed God!
    • The Lord is ended. Our research shows that research.
    • 1421. Gods don't tap out.
    • In Shaolin hearts, they are eternal!
• I Ate WHAT?!
  • I ate a one-ton tomato.
  • Gilligan.
  • I ate my gun.
  • I ate the WHOLE plate!
    • Ain't nobody gonna come here and eat my plate, no!
  • The dog.
    • Aye, dog is a fine meal.
    • Dogs are loyal too, but that doesn't mean you can't eat them when you're stranded in an arctic outpost and Command can't get rations through because of a seasonal blizzard.
  • The Dog's breakfast.
    • When I was four I ate the dog's dinner
  • A delicious Long Pork Pie.
  • The bomb.
    • That's a spicy meat-a-ball!
  • Abyssal crab omelette.
  • A liquefied turian.
  • When I was six I ate a bag of plums!
  • When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large!
    • EGGS! EGGS! E-DOUBLE-G-S EGGS!
  • Maggots.
  • Jesus Christ, boy. What did you eat?!
  • I ate a pig?! Was it cooked and called bacon?
  • A rat!
  • Yourself.
  • I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk, I injected some of Hendrix' junk, I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane, Mama Cass' sandwich? I ate the same!
• Who Wants to Live Forever?
  • The Immortality Seeker, of course!
    • Maybe he wants to be a millionaire while he's at it.
  • I just wanna live while I'm alive.
• What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
  • Did you really have to say that?
  • In an infinite universe, all things are possible.
  • Whatever you didn't want to.
  • "SHINJI!" "Dad?" "PILOT THIS ROBOT!" "NO!" "FUCK!"
• Does This Remind You of Anything?
  • I've been on TV Tropes before...
  • This reminds me of a puzzle.
  • You remind me of the babe...
  • That Reminds Me of a Song.
  • You Remind Me of X.
  • You know, you remind me a lot about Disney. You're fat, you're frozen, and you're about to be shattered BY ME!
  • This scene makes me remember that "I Fink U Freeky" video, which incidentally, you can see us sin on our Music Video Sins channel. Anyway, that video is a human rights violation that famously brought Nelson Mandela back from the grave to stop it, only to have his zombie heart seize when he saw it, requiring a second and more somber funeral.
  • It reminds me of Sam, whose favorite dish is green eggs and ham.
  • You remind me of Johnny Cage.
  • You remind me of Dick Grayson.
  • You know what this hole reminds me of? Our relationship. It's dark, uncomfortable, lifeless, and Meowth is here.
  • You remind me of Quan Chi.
  • Oh, that reminds me of a long, boring story about your uncle that will only make you feel guilty and make the wrong decisions in life.
  • In fact, you kinda remind me of myself at your age. Except, y'know, I'm a mutant. And I've got ethics. And I'm not a psychopath... (or a rapist...) You know what, maybe you remind me of someone else...
  • By the way, your hair reminds me of Stocking.
    • I don't get it.
• Who Dares?
  • Me!
  • Oh, crud. Now that you mention it, I think I'll take 'truth' instead.
  • Doom dares!
  • Triborg dares, foolish one!
  • You DARE being light to my lair? You must die!
• Is That the Best You Can Do?
  • Yes. You Are Already Dead.
• Who Needs Their Whole Body?
  • Good question. Legs? Didn't Need Those Anyway!.
  • Not Ms. Fortune.
  • Well, We Will Not Have Appendixes in the Future.
  • Who needs arms with legs like these?
• Who Will Bell the Cat?
  • I will. S/he's mine, after all.
  • Not a mouse or any of a cat's prey.
• Where's the Kaboom?
  • KA-BOOM!
    • Didn't you see the bloody bombs?
  • No boom today, boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody's gotta have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later, BOOM!
  • Behind you, because cool guys don't look at explosions, they blow things up and then walk away.
  • DID SOMEBODY SAY "BOOM?!"
• Angst? What Angst?
  • We have no time for sorrows, Commander.
  • I just killed my own father in cold blood. I might need a moment to get over it. [Beat] Okay, I'm over it.
  • L, why?! Why did you leave me?! Why did you leave me alone with these IDIOTS! *sobbing* And... yeah, I'm over it now.
  • NO ROSE I ANGST ALONE.
  • My teenage angst bullshit has a body count.
  • Humanity is dying, and all I can think about is how I don't give a fuck.
• What Did I Do Last Night?
  • It appears the memory erasure is working. Excellent.
  • Everyone.
  • You pissed on the moon, Eggman.
  • I can't have done anything, I'm a 23 year old who doesn't drink and has no friends.
• Where the Hell Is Springfield?
  • Somewhere over the rainbow.
    • Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight…
  • Oregon.
    • But hey! That's just a theory: A Film Theory! Aaaaaaand, cut!
  • ...Uh...can I use a lifeline?
• Is the Answer to This Question "Yes"?
  • Possibly yes, probably no.
  • No.
  • Nes.
  • NES.
  • Ness.
• What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?
  • Love, noun: An intense feeling of deep affection.
  • Is it a 4-letter word you can use in various ways that are mostly positive? Hell yeah.
  • Love is a feeling of love.
    • Love and friendship will kill me...reminder that the family.
    • Love, who took the children.
  • Love means never having to say you're sorry.
• Do We Have This One?
  • Well, if you Gotta Catch 'Em All...
  • While collecting things is certainly fun, when it comes to chemical elements, you do not want to collect them all.
• Why Can't I Hate You?
  • Because I'm a Creator's Pet, honey.
  • Because I'm beautiful, baby.
  • Because shut up.
• What Are You in For?
  • Everything.
  • Child trafficking!
  • Often forcing men to eat their own lips, he was eventually caught and imprisoned...for tax evasion.
  • Stole a pterodactyl. But it's not like I yelled...
  • Sexual assault with a concrete dildo.
  • For being dumb enough to let him grab me.
  • I took forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And That's Terrible
  • You are in the rape rack, for crimes against caring.
  • We the people, who are dedicated to protecting and serving the common good, do charge you with trespassing, theft, violence, assault, illegal possession of firearms, and a really crappy attitude!
  • Well gee. I wonder... ^{Seconds earlier...} Link: Ladies, say hello to Mr. Penis!
• What the Fu Are You Doing?
  • Kung... -fu?
• What Did You Expect When You Named It ____?
  • Someone who would actually spell it "underscore, underscore, underscore, underscore".
    • Ach, Hans, run! It's ___!
  • Easy, easy! We don't want to lose any more toes here!
  • Oh, I'm sorry, but Operation 'Shinji HAS A MASSIVE VAGINA' was already taken.
• So What Do We Do Now?
  • Keep browsing TV Tropes.
  • I knew the Missing Steps Plan was a mistake.
  • Mow the lawn?
  • And now I'll escape on my invisible treadmill. Walking in place, walking in place, walking in place.
    • Do-do-doo, running in place! ^* Litchi: What the fuck?...
  • DANCE PARTY!!!
    • "Sorry, Shingo. I'm outta here. The Team Japan comeback was fun."
      "Hmph."
      "Some words of warning: get a life, Shingo! Later."
  • Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
  • Do what you want. I'm going home.
  • Now feel free to live out the rest of your life in peace with your family... PSYCH!
  • Now? *Laughs* Let's go practice medicine.
  • we head for Borerarliarles!
• What Measure Is a Non-Cute?
  • Six foot.
  • It sure ain't Puchuus.
• The End... Or Is It?
  • Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
    • Why's he laughing? What's so funny? I don't get it. Tell me the joke again?
  • We cannot let this be... the end.
    • Oh yes, we can!
  • That's not the end, as you suspected...
  • Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.
  • There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends.
  • That's how it could have ended. But how about this?
  • THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END-
    • *STATIC*
  • The End of The End can be found at The End of The End.
  • I doubt it. We've not had the credits yet.
  • Not so fast, Mr. Gordon
• Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?
  • Actually, that was Cthugha, but I can see why you'd confuse the two.
  • Guess I was just Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth.
• Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
  • No. You typed it out.
  • It had to be the wind, 'cause nobody wasn't there.
• Was It Really Worth It?
  • $15 for a game Steam tells me I've been playing for over 500 hours; definitely worth it.
  • I’m gonna show you and everybody else that Willy Loman did not die in vain. He had a good dream. It’s the only dream you can have— to come out number one man. He fought it out here, and this is where I’m gonna win it for him.
  • All that hate and pain... for this... you were right, Faith. It wasn't worth it.
  • If you're asking me "Did the good guys win?" Yes, the good guys won, Batman. But, I won't know if it was worth it for a very long time...
  • I said I could not answer that.
  • Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day.
  • Nah, the fun wasn't in the having. It was in the getting.
• Are We There Yet?
  • No, N! We haven't even left!
  • We're here.
    • So you can FINALLY stop asking me if we're there yet!
  • We'll get there when we get there!
• Is This What Anger Feels Like?
  • That depends. Are you sure you're not feeling Disgust?
  • Grrr, angry, Knuckles is angry! I've had it with these flashbacks and that high pitched fucking voice, those hallucinations and... Sonic. God, Sonic! Where are my matches? I need to burn things! Burn that temple dow—Goddammit, someone beat me to it. Well I don't hear anybody screaming, I don't smell burning flesh, so my day can get better! I need to throw something in there! People, kittens, children,... kittens, again. Where are the kittens?
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry
• Have You Come to Gloat?
  • Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look. Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes. That's right. A potato just called your eyes fat. Now your fat eyes have seen everything.
  • Oh, we're up to our ears in gloaters around here. You know, coming in to gloat over the condemned man, oh you heartless gloater, you!
  • I would sooner spit on my dead mother's grave than have some Courier walk-the-wasteland-fuck talk to me like that!
    • My mother's ded?!
  • I'm not so cold as to mock your pain.
• What Were You Thinking?
  • You know, I'm starting to think this isn't a rescue operation...
  • Selling drills on the black market was not the best idea you ever had now, was it?
  • I don't think, I drink.
  • I've been thinking, Operator... I thought you'd want to know.
• Who Would Be Stupid Enough?
  • I have an Intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing.
  • I'm stupid. Try to prove that.
  • Obviously, you don't know me!
  • IQ's 3, but you can leave it all to me!
• Did You Die?
  • I have died, but boy, I'm happy.
  • Am I dead, is this Heaven? ...Oh. Hi boss. Guess not.
  • I feel really bad telling you this, but I kind of... can't die. I mean, go ahead and destroy this Securitron, get it out of your system! The problem is that a distributed image of my neuro-computational matrix is backed-up to the network several times a day, or when I'm threatened! I can't help it! There's a little bit of me in every Securitron out on the Strip, so if this instance gets destroyed, I just download to a new one. If I could stop it from happening, I would! I mean, your vengeance is going to feel so incomplete!
    • So I get to kill you over and over again. <Attack Yes Man.>
    • Hahaha! I knew there was a positive in it somewhere!
  • Shadow, can you hear me? This may be the last chance I get to speak to you, so... what I said about having created you? It was all a lie. Everyone thought you had died during that horrible incident. But I rescued you with one of my robots! You lost your memory, that's all. You really are the Ultimate Lifeform my grandfather created!
  • We fuck be die.
  • Well, yes because this is the story of how I died.
    • Of course, I don't know that yet. And, in a way, I'm dead already.
  • I'm badly burned, but I'm still alive!
  • And that was only one of the many occasions on which I met my death, an experience which I don't hesitate strongly to recommend.
  • He'll be back in the next episode due to continuity errors.
  • All better now though, don't worry.
  • Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead!
  • I got better.
    • BURN HER ANYWAY!
  • BACK FROM THE DEAD, ASSHOLES!
  • Oh, who cares? I've been blown up, thrown down smokestacks, fed to sharks; I'm the Joker! I always survive!
  • We survived because SHUT UP, SHINJI!
  • YOU LET HIM LIVE?!
  • And that was the fifth time I died.
  • Page 62, 'Johnny Cage dies'? Is someone high?!
  • I've been dead thirty years. What's your excuse?
  • It's okay, give it a month and he'll Advent Children or Dissidia himself back into the spotlight.
  • Well I was, then Sonya crushed Quan Chi's balls so I got better.
  • Ach, I'm bad at this.
  • I am a dead man. But somehow, you have retained your mortality, which would mean you are vulnerable to death!
  • I died. He brought me back to life. Cahoots enough for you?
  • I'm okay! *Crunch* ...I'm still okay!
  • I see their parachutes! They're okay!
  • I don't know quite how to say this, but I'm afraid our dear pal Squidward is... is pushing up daisies!
    • Oh, I thought he was dead.
  • Oh my God! They blew up the cargo robot! And the cargo was people!
  • There go all the Saiyans. Oh wait, it's OK, I can see their parachutes!
  • Woah, I'm still a good guy AND still alive!? This movie really IS crazy!!
  • But I didn't die though, it was a joke.
  • I've come back to tell you that you will always be my biggest disappointment.
  • You didn't kill me, you little moron! I was already a ghost when you met me!
  • I will surviiiiiiiiive!
    As long as I know how to hate
    I know I´ll stay alive.
    I´ve got all my life to live
    And I´ve got all my love to give!
    And I will survive!
    I will survive!
  • By the way, I never died in this version.
  • Luigi no die!
    • How'd you know?
  • Sadly, yes. But I lived!
  • Oh wait, she can't be dead. This has already happened. Or, rather it hasn't happened yet, but she obviously made the jump back farther if she's telling us the story. Most stories don't end with 'and then I died.'
  • Stop talking...like I'm dead. I still have *HRK*...other spin-offs to appear in!
• Hell Is That Noise?
  • I'm not an expert in the field, but that sounds to me like the cries of the damned.
  • Stop that noise! I hate that! It reminds me of that dream I have where I'm strapped to a gurney watching Fraggle Rock with flashing lights on either side of me, then I realize-I'm in hell!
  • My God, it sounded like his fucking family was killed in front of his eyes!
  • Hush, little baby, don't say a word // And never mind that noise you heard // It's just the beasts under your bed, // In your closet, in your head!
• Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs?
  • I'm a sexual predator.
  • I've had a lot of jobs in my life: boxer, mascot, astronaut, baby proofer, imitation Krusty, truck driver, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary, but protecting people, that gives me the best feeling of all.
• What Does This Button Do?
  • "Hey a switch. I wonder what would happen if I pressed it?" (Cut to the Egg Carrier crashing and exploding while Knuckles screams) "Yeeeaaahhh better not touch it."
  • Oh, I hope "Do not press" means "Press right away!"
  • YOU PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON!!
  • All right, first you flick this switch, then this switch. That activates it. Then you push this button, which will give you five minutes to get outta there. Now whatever you do, don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately, and we'll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
  • By now I pressed all the keys in the entire factory! Except one key! Go ahead Charlie, Press it!
  • A sign came up saying 'Please do not press this button again'.
  • Listen: Be a good little criminal, and press that fucking button.
  • See this button? DON'T TOUCH IT! IT'S THE HISTORY ERASER BUTTON, YOU FOOL!
  • If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
  • NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!
  • PUSH! THE! BUTTON!
  • When you play the button song,
    You find out what goes wrong!
  • If anyone knows what this screen does, please tell me.
  • World, the time has come to PUSH THE BUTTON.
  • NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! Not the Wed one!
• Questioning Title?
  • Yes, I have something to say about the title. I think Zits is the worst name for a comic strip since Peanuts.
• Is there something in your pocket Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
  • Even though you lying down, I can make you stand up!
  • Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you...
  • Body part I appeared? incredible! Oh!
  • I want you to know my dear that even though we're sitting down, we're giving you a standing ovation.
• Make a Wish.
  • Become the Sultan.
    • You're the sultan. Don't know why your first wish couldn't have been for everybody's mics to work, but no, it's 'me me me me me me me!'
  • We want BABES!!!!
  • I want a cage match between Cthulhu, Godzilla, Galactus and the Tarrasque.
  • Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier!
  • Sorry, that has to be in the form of a question.
    • What wish do you want to make? Now, what are your other two wishes?
  • A giant sandwich.
    • A SANDWICH?!? WHAT KIND OF A STUPID WISH IS THAT?! Talk about a failure of imagination!
  • Uh, two Cokes and some chips.
  • I wish I knew what Max was thinking.
    • ... ..... ....... ..... ... .!
    • Well, that was a waste of money.
  • Uhh... Umm... Uhhhhh... Tristan's panties?
  • I wish to blow up! I mean, like, get big.
    • *Kaboom*
  • A double order of onion rings.
    • Bitch!
  • A box of Cubans.
  • Total revenge on the mafia.
• What Measure Is a Mook?
  • I don't care; we've got five of them.
  • The living may not hear them. Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But, make no mistake. The dead are not silent. Now you will know the sorrow of those whose lives you have ended.
    • Hey I remember that loser! Yeah, I got you good, huh?
    • The dead are restless...
  • Kwahahaha! Worry not about them: many more are being produced even now!
  • These were human beings, with lives, and families, and—Ah, I'm totally kidding. Screw those guys!
  • They cost 50 pounds each!
  • Oh, come on, the soldiers? They don't grow on trees you know!
  • These minions gave their lives for guys like... me.
  • They're completely sentient. With all their own wants and needs... and a crippling fear of death!
    • All simulated, of course, but real enough to them, I suppose.
  • Yeah, he was just this guy. A guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back. But, then I also thought, you know, kill him.
  • They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them, they're robots!
  • He had...um...a dog? I didn't really know him that well.
  • Honestly, I hate working here. They are so weird.
  • Fucker owed me twenty dollars! Ah well.
  • 60 food and 20 gold per guy. If you're out of gold then you can get the ones with the halberds even cheaper. Not that they're worth anything to the enemy, of course..
  • Twenty gold per kill. Better get farming.
  • And look at you, you don't even have a name tag! You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down? Go on, son.
  • You may come from beyond the moon. But to me, you're just a goon!
  • Food that talks is not food, but the goon never said anything, so it's okay, right?
  • "Well what do ya know, even after a thousand years..." "There's still plenty of canon fodder to kill!"
  • Do you ever get the feeling our race was destined to be insignificant?
    • No!
  • He just wanted to say hi.
• How Did You Get It?
  • It Fell Off the Back of a Truck
  • And where does it come from? My hand? Wait, does it come from my hand? Then... where does it go? GAH! Dangit! You're starting to infect my brain!
  • shenanigans
  • You Do NOT Want To Know.
  • It's a Long Story
    • No it's not. A stripper peed it into a toilet.
• Shouldn't You Stop Stealing?
  • It's not about making money, it's about taking money.
  • There's an old Ferengi saying: 'Never ask when you can take.'
  • Today, wealth isn't just for people in Europe and America, but for anyone who enjoys stealing.
• What Have You Done for Me Lately?
  • Brought peace?
  • I have advanced your project more than any three students on campus.
  • I got you that danish.
  • He woke you up when you stopped breathing last night.
  • He got you a Playstation for Christmas.
  • The question you should ask is, what did you ever do for me?
  • I gave you tattoos, I gave you hi-fives, I let you eat my mommy!
  • Don't say I never did anything for ya!
• Did You Just Have Sex?
  • I Just Had Sex!
  • Yeah, with your mother.
    • Don't you fucking lie to me!
  • I HAVE SEX WITH DOGS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
  • WE HAD SEX!
  • The only time I had sex was on the phone. But that was long ago.
• Can You Hear Me Now?
  • I can't hear you!
  • I'm deaf! Speak up or f*** off!
  • Fuck this, I can't hear you in the market.
  • Oh sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over MY TRAGIC PAST!!
  • Oh, sorry, did you say something? I was thinking about boobs.
  • Sorry, man, I'm just a little hard of hearing from listening to my mixtapes super loud with no regard for my future hearing because I live in the now.
• Was It All a Lie?
  • Well, yeah! No, wait... uh, yeah. Yeah, it all was a lie. Toodles!
  • Pretty much.
  • Lie? Me? Never. The truth is much more fun.
  • If lying was a crime, we would all be in jail!
  • You're nothing but a lowly liar, you solicitor!
  • Lies, Scorpion! You are a slave, and Kronika is your master!
  • Was there really milk? Was there actually cookies?
    • No.
  • Their truth is a lie... Their city is an illusion... Do not accept the world as it is.
  • Thou liest, shag-haired villain!
    • You've done it now, sonny! I happen to be very sensitive about my shag-hair!
  • Lies! Deception!
  • The little bitch, she went and she told A LIE!
  • Everything is lies! Everything is lies!
  • That isn't true. I haven't told a single lie since I was born.
  • This whole relationship is based on a lie! An UGLY lie!
  • I only lie when it's necessary.
  • I lied. That's what I do.
  • Have I lied to you? I mean in this room?
  • I wonder if he knows that I know that he's lying right now.
  • Oh wait, I lied, false hope is my new trend.
  • You sit on a throne of lies.
  • Technically, my lies are probably true.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?
  • But, uh, that's what you said the last time before, and the time before that, and the... Look, let's just knock his head clean off.
  • Yes, but couldn't we capture him and turn him into a Meganoid to further our plan?
  • The hedgehog is mine to destroy! It's not the job of some upstart like you! I could carpet bomb him any day! That's not enough—that's not the point! I have to beat him! I have to prove I'm superior! There's a right way and a wrong way to vanquish your life-long enemy and you did it very, very wrong!
  • 'Just shoot him?!' Know this, my sweet: the death of Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!
  • I really have to apologize for the kid. No respect for tradition! Heh! Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened and do this some other time, 'kay? Then again, this is a rather rare opportunity. Y'know what they say, 'a bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry.' I guess you're going out on a laugh after all!
  • What?! Those restraints are pure titanium. He'll never get loose.
  • Scott... you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.
  • Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
  • Here's some advice: if you can hit your target, pretty much any gun will do the trick. Now that's one to grow on. Say hi to the Fuehrer for me, would you?
  • Always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.
  • Can we... can we actually do that?
  • I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!
  • I am completely out of ammo. That's never happened to me before.
  • Too easy... for you!
  • Diplomatic Impunity!
    • *BLAM* It's just been revoked!
  • Shoot? I'm a hippie! The only thing I've shot is acid. I heard a dude snorted it once. Thought his nose was a kangaroo and the moon was a dog! WOOH!
  • No, that would be cheating.
  • The trouble with Daleks is it takes so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.
  • I mean you were literally in the process of murdering me when you found out that I’m this super-dangerous prophecy kid. What possible reason is there for you to not shove a cutlass through my brain this very-
  • Go ahead and shoot! I'll be back! I always come back!
    
    But dying is such a bitch.
  • Please don't shoot him. I find his pain somewhat comforting.
  • If this was a HISHE, I would shoot you right now!
• Aren't You Forgetting Someone?
  • You laugh, for you know that you have not.
  • Oh no, we left Grandpa back at the gas station!
  • ...Pegasus?
  • What the actual shit? WHERE DID AMY GO? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
  • KEVIN!
  • Haste! lest while you're lagging, I may remember him!
• What Would X Do?
  • Cheat. Cheat like crazy.
  • Homer, I insist you steal that car!
  • The answer: not show.
  • I don't know, maybe he'd just sit on a shelf because he's a DOLL!
  • Oh! That reminds me of the time Keith—
  • He'd let you die.
  • AAAH! Blackhawk Down! Blackhawk Down!
    • ...Okay, time for Plan B.
  • I know; not listen to anyone else, be mean to people, destroy as much property as possible, talk in a really low, gravelly voice, and go it alone.
• What's He Got That I Ain't Got?!
  • Courage.
    • You can say that again!
  • Sex appeal.
  • Two hotels.
  • Walls.
  • Nothing! About twenty hard years. Strong arms. Kisses great. It was the usual bar pickup stuff.
  • Adoring subjects, respect of your species, a loving family, and a devoted queen.
  • A pulse?
  • Godlike power?
    • A personality that is not at all like sanding paper?
    • Ouch.
• What Does She See in Him?
  • He makes me laugh.
  • Jealous, Erron Black?
  • He wasn't exactly in the best shape, and he had a combover that was rather... elaborate, but he had this air about him. This confidence that drew me toward him. He was who he was; he didn’t care.
  • Her mind is uninhibited, so she wants to fuck an old, fat white guy.
• What Is Evil?
  • Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Jedi and the Sith are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power.
  • In my point of view, the Jedi are evil!
  • Good and evil are only words, illusions created by the powerful.
  • Those who oppose me; they're the evil ones!
  • I wear a suit; thus, I'm evil. I'll make the same mistakes Uncle Richard made but, while his mistakes were due to his reckless enthusiasm, mine will be caused by greed. Because suit. Evil.
  • Everything is evil!
  • Heroes have morals. Villains have work ethic.
  • Evil makes everything BETTER!
  • Evil is a point of view.
  • Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult.
  • People aren't evil and people aren't good. They live how they can one day at a time. They come out of dust they go back to dust, dusty feet, no wings, and whose fault is that?
  • Evil Welcomes Defectors.
  • I'll show you what real evil is!
  • You know like, I said evil in the past has gone good, but you know what? You know, I'm running for mayor, it's probably not the best, so, I'm banning evil. Evil is now illegal.
• Why Couldn't You Be Different?
  • Just because someone looks different than you or thinks differently than you, doesn't mean you should be afraid of them. It means you should be angry at them. How dare they be different! What, my way of life ain't good enough for 'em?!
  • It's time that someone had the courage to stand up and say: "I'm against those things that everybody hates!"
  • He puzzled and he puzzled til his puzzler was sore. Then the Grump thought of something he hadn't before.
    Just because he hates something doesn't mean others should. He could share, not force, his opinions like others would.
    For it's our different outlooks that can make people grow, and everyone is different like every flake of snow.
    For different points of view can exist for a reason: to learn about one another and to make each other decent. ^note The Grump: Naw, I'm right. They're wrong.
• Why Did You Make Me Hit You?
  • Because if you don't punish me, Gensokyo shall be no more!
  • I Cannot Self-Terminate.
  • I tricked you into activating my Critical Status Buff.
  • If you're attacking me, you can't set up stat bonuses.
• Why Didn't I Think of That?
  • I warned you about thinking! I've got the nog' for this job, so let's get on with it!
• Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?
  • I'd love to oblige you, but a man's got to get his rest sometime. But I tell you what, if you'd come back in about a half hour, I'll see what I can do, all right?
  • Couldn't we just cuddle?
    • Cuddle? What a fag.
• What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
  • When I made this video, I did a lot of drugs.
• What's Up, King Dude?
  • Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?
• Shouldn't We Be in School Right Now?
  • School's out for summer. And ever.
• Whodunnit to Me?
• Who Murdered the Asshole?
  • The Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce, on the way out.
• You Talkin' to Me?
  • Yes, I'm talking to you. There's no one else here, so I must be talking to you!
  • I'm not talking to you, ya fat fuck!
  • Yeah, I'm talking to you. No, don't answer back, you twat!
• Who Would Want to Watch Us?
  • I just like to watch you guys.
  • I do!
• What Have I Become?
  • What the hell have I become? I mean I'm just.. I'm just some punching bag for cyberbullies man, that's what I am! That's what I am now!
• How Many Fingers?
  • That's not very damn funny.
  • Mmmhmmmmm... eight?
  • Six...
    • Close enough.
    • Six fingers? I think there's a Spaniard who'd like to quote some trope titles at you.
  • That's a bit off topic right now.
  • Two. There are two fingers. Hahaha!
    • Good. Now I can put them back in the jar.
  • Three.
    • That's good. That's pretty good, considering that he's blind.
    • Oh, you bite your nails too.
  • I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
  • Orange.
  • He's flipping me off.
  • Lots and lots. But it's very pretty.
  • That's right, zero! Man, you're good at this game.
  • You can't fool me sir, five.
  • Funny.
  • U-Uhm... purple?
  • Potato.
  • I still don't know how you do that!
• Any Last Words?
  • Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
  • I still can't think of anything.
  • You guys suck! I can't believe those are going to be my last words...
  • How about 'reconstructive dentistry'?
  • Shoot yourself and spare me the trouble.
  • WHY DID I LISTEN TO THAT O'MALLEY CAT?!
  • Yeah. Sic 'im!
  • Two words: kiss-kiss!
  • Yeah. TWO!
  SNIKT! SNIKT!
  • Hastur, Hastur, Hastur.
  • Yeah... Guess I'm gonna die the way I lived... at the wrong end of a gun.
  • You know what? I got two words for you: Dance fight.
  • I have one last request. I want you to kill Peter Parker. And now I request for one more thing. Get the *bleep* out of my office, you damn bitch.
  • Fuck.
  • That's funny, I was about to ask you that... bitch.
• What, Exactly, Is His Job?
  • I've been going through our records and it seems that we've been paying you to do nothing but loaf about on the couch.
    • You call that a couch? I DEMAND A PILLOW!
  • You're not a scientist! You're not a doctor! You're not even a full-time employee!
  • I'm the Lord High Everything Else.^Including First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the Hounds, Groom of the Back Stairs, Archbishop of Titipu, Lord Mayor (both acting and elect), Lord Chamberlain, Attorney General, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Privy Purse, Private Secretary, Solicitor, Leader of the Opposition, Paymaster General, Lord High Auditor, Chief Commissioner of Police, Registrar, Director of Homeland Security and Husband of Elizabeth Taylor.
  • Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here. I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.
• Does This Make Me Look Fat?
  • No, no, no, your face does.
  • No, it's the fat that makes you look fat!
  • Yes. Yes it does.
  • How many times do I have to tell you? All these outfits make you look exactly the same size!
• Isn't It Ironic?
  • That the trope namer isn't an example?
  • He died ironically. You older generation just don't get our sense of humor.
  • Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
    • Define irony........ A bunch of idiots who don't have a chance against me!!!!!!!!
  • That's where the actual meaning is the exact opposite of the literal meaning.
    • IN... COR... RECT.
  • Irony: The one form of humor that everyone thinks they understand, when actually no one really does. Truly, it is the cleverest joke ever played on mankind.
  • The irony of a genderless creature with zero sex drive somehow surrounding itself with all manner of lewd women was so thick that one would probably need to dig through it with a pickaxe.
  • 'The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention'! Now that! Is! Irony!
  • You say, isn't it terrible about global warming? And I say, no, it's funny. We're going to bring on global warming because we ran too many leaky air conditioners? We used too much spray deodorant, so now we'll be doomed to sweat forever? That's not sad. That's irony. Note to Alanis: That is ironic.
  • Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.
  • Irony is you asking me what irony means every time you say it.
  • Okay. We're all agreed that while the current situation is not totally ironic, the fact that we have to work together is odd in an unexpected way that defies our normal circumstances. Is everybody happy with that?
  • Well I'd say live and learn, but that would be ironic.
  • The irony of it is, I gave you life. And now, I'll take it back.
  • That's irony for you. He's the only person in this whole building who's been even remotely helpful, and now he's probably going to go get himself killed.
  • A free ride when you've already paid is annoying, but only ironic if you've been getting smug about cheap public transport fares.
  • And the last we saw of ol' Bill Turner, he was sinkin' into the crushing black oblivion of Davy Jones' Locker. Course, it was only after that we learned we needed his blood to lift the curse. Now that's what you'd call ironic.
  • You know, I'm starting to think that irony is very overrated.
  • The only ironic thing about that song is that it's called "Ironic" and it's written by a woman who doesn't know what irony is!
  • I went into the woods to find the tortoise, but instead I lost myself. How ironic.
  • Irony: (noun) A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects, and is often amusing as a result. Example: Your leader is named "Thinker", yet he appears to be something of a dullard.
  • If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is hit and killed by a truck, that is an accident. If the truck was carrying sugar, then he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck that hit him was carrying insulin, then he is the victim of irony.
  • How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...
  • HOW VERY IRONIC. THAT A LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE. uPON YOuR WILLINGNESS TO DRAW ME SOME PORNOGRAPHY. THE VERY PORNOGRAPHY. WHICH YOu HAVE SPENT A LIFETIME DRAWING. IN YOuR SPARE TIME. BECAuSE YOu PRESuMABLY ENJOY DOING SO.
  • The irony! To be crushed by a giant gorilla... on my birthday!
  • Yes, it's like goldy and bronzy only it's made out of iron.
  • You know what's ironic? The same day I ran Elliot down, is the same day I ruined his life forever.
  • It's a common mistake, but it's not ironic that Dr. Cosway's not here for you to lean on. It's just simply tragic. It would be ironic if her death made you feel better.
  • You better figure out the difference; irony is not coincidence.
    • Stop it. I want to use 'ironic' however I want. I want to stay in the bubble.
  • Irony as She Is Cast.
  • So a country-singing dragon had it's head smashed in with a giant hammer... How ironic.
  • Funny?
    How'd I fail to see this little bedtime tale was funny?
    I could cry to think of all the irony I've missed.
  • Tragic irony or poetic justice? You tell me.
  • By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.
  • What an irony, needing the power of a mortal to achieve the Zero-Mortals Plan.
  • Oh... my... God... Wow seriously, I never would have guessed that the freakin' Chief of Police is your dad! Woah, talk about irony. I mean you've got a notebook that freakin' kills people just by writing their names down inside it and he's out there all day, hunting you...
  • Ironically, the Toreador wholeheartedly support the Nosferatu's kingdoms, espousing the truth of the proverb, "out of sight, out of mind." "Let the beasts rot in their holes," they sniff. "Better there than on the carpet at the Waldorf." It is equally ironic that the Nosferatu are usually no more than ten feet beneath the Toreador who say this, listening to every word and laughing gleefully.
  • 'It's like rain on your wedding day.' Only if you're marrying a weatherman and he set the date.
  • It's not really irony unless someone somewhere doesn't get it.
  • The irony of it all. Owing so much to two women she hardly considered as friends.
  • A demon hiring a demon slayer... It's the joke of the century, don't ya think?
  • The irony is that if you want to die you just have to stay where you are, but if you want to live, you'll have to cut yourself again.
  • The irony of it all, hoisted by my own Fedora-Matic!
  • The irony of it all, Pinky. Years of trying to take over the world, and all I had to do was say 'moo'.
  • Oh, the irony. The contrived, hamfisted IRONY!
  • That wasn't irony, it was sarcasm. But it was ironic that you didn't know the difference.
  • I'm sorry, I made a mistake in my English. It was quite comical.
  • Now that you have a billion dollars, perhaps you'd like to buy yourself a dictionary, because irony is not a black fly in your chardonnay. Irony is a Scotsman cloning a sheep. Irony is renaming the national airport after the president that fired all of the air traffic controllers.
  • I try to avoid that word, sir, on account of the fact that nobody knows what it means.
  • Damn you, irony!
  • My fists have turned to iron! Oh, the irony!
    • I think it would be ironic if everyone was made of iron.
  • I didn't like it outside the bubble. It was very ironic.
  • Walked up to a girl and I gave her a kiss,
    She said "Let's go to your place, I'll suck your dick.",
    I said "Hell yeah, bitch! That's so ironic!"
  • Yeah, I know what irony is. Knowledge is power, so I started going to night school.
• Now, Where Was I Going Again?
  • The murder capital of the wooooooorld!
  • To St. Ives.
• Why Would Anyone Take Him Back?
• You Wanna Get Sued?
  • No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!
  • What the hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her!
• Did I Mention It's Christmas?
  • "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" Hmph! I hope their Christmas trees get termites!
• What Were They Selling Again?
  • I'm selling these fine leather jackets.
  • The finest merchandise this side of the River Jordan, on sale today! Come on down!
  • Everything's for sale my friend. Everything. If I had a sister I'd sell her in a second.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?
  • Marcato.
• Do I Really Sound Like That?
  • She sounds like a Muppet giving birth.
• What Are Records?
• Wasn't That Fun?
  • Well, that was fun... in a fuckin' terrible, sick, not-at-all-fun kinda way.
• Can't You Read the Sign?
  • Yes, but I want to be sure, 'cause you know sometimes words have no meaning.
  • A wicked and adulterous generation seeks after a sign.
• Who Shot JFK?
  • After all, it was you and me.
• How Is That Even Possible?
  • I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible!
• Are You Sure You Can Drive This Thing?

Web Animation

• Do you ever wonder why we're here?
  • What's life all about?
  • I dunno. I think we're lost.
  • Because we're here. Roll the bones.
  • Wherever you go, there you are.
  • I'm searching for my lost shaker of salt.
  • ... What's it all about, you've no idea, and everywhere you look, all you see is hatred, and darkness, death and fear...
  • A Wizard Did It.
  • You're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: a hero.
  • I came into this casino to get that beeping noise outta my head! With strippers! And gambling! And strippers! But there are no strippers!
    • Don't bother me, Knuckles! I just want to play some slots!
  • I'm just trying to get a better look at Beavis and Butthead over there.
  • Well, we ain't here to f**k spiders.
  • We're here to fuck shit up.
  • Why are we here? What is any of this for? These are the questions no one was asking.
  • Why are we here? For what purpose do we exist? We must not dwell on these questions. We can merely trust in the will of the universe and spend our days and nights in harmony with the world, celebrating this festival called Life.
• What happened to Georgia?
  • Let's just say it involved a malfunctioning jetpack, an asteroid and a medium-calibre gun and leave it at that.
  • General Sherman.
  • Well, that depends. Are we talking about the state or the country?
  • I heard the Devil went down there, looking for a soul to steal... he was in a bind, was WAY behind, so he was willin' t'make a deal...
  • Ron White was there. He couldn't pick up the turd.
• How did you know to break the pencil, Kenstar?
  • Once you've broken pretty much everything else, there's only a limited amount of stuff left to break at all.
• Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'?
  • Pokémon, of course!
  • A game where you fuckin' kill yourself, apparently.
  • LAST NIGHT I PLAY SUPA SMASH BRODAS.
    • I told you, Pit. It's Super Bash Sisters.
• Is it just me, or is this movie making less and less sense?
  • Su- ...oes lo- ..ike it, do- ..it? *FIVE SECONDS OF PURE STATIC*
    • Ok, who let Arakune edit Tv Tropes?
  • Raiden, stop making sense!
  • Beata Maria, you know I will mindfuck the viewer.
  • You don't understand. It's a mind*EFF*.
  • You know, this is why no one likes you! You're so judgmental and all you care about is a storyline that actually makes sense! *scoff* You sicken me!
• Do you believe in destiny?
  • Close your eyes and leave the rest to me...
  • It's just an excuse to take no responsibility for anything. I believe in density, however.
  • Screw Destiny!
  • Our destiny is your death!
  • Well, given that she's one of my best friends, yes!
    • "What? But I thought Tails was my best friend!" "Do you really mean that, Sonic?" "...Shove it, Tails. Wait, wait wait. Why am I arguing with dolls?"
  • I must fulfill my destiny and lay waste to your home.
    • What a sh*tty destiny. For him and everyone else. He's like an intergalactic Airbnb nightmare.
  • F*** destiny! I am Seto Kaiba! I make my own fate.
  • Fate and Chance are not mutually exclusive.
  • This... was not your destiny, Shinnok.
• Wouldn't it be weird if the very first and very last spoken words of BFDI were the same?
  • I don't know, I guess it would?
• Are you cereal?
  • Come on, do I look anything like food?
    • Yes.
  • Not exactly. I Am Bread.
  • No, you moron! Cereal!
• He keeps kicking me in the dick! Why? Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?
  • For Massive Damage.
  • Would you rather it was the goddamn eye?
    • I know it makes no sense, but yes!
  • But... the ball! His groin! Ha ha! It works on so many levels!
  • Rule #4 of the Fight Club: Hitting in the groin is allowed, because, let's face it: we're all pretty much smooth down there.
  • Please. This isn't a bar fight. Have some class.
• Were you just first-basin' it with that piece of loose-leaf?!
• Where's the moon?
  
  ...
  
  WHERE'S THE DAMN MOON?!
  • Vulcan has no moon.
  • Their songs are on the whole very simple, and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason.
  • Queen Beryl did a terrible thing when she destroyed the Moon.
  • Target their moon... and blow it out of the sky.
  • Poor old moon. With a good half of it torn into dust and the rest of it suffering severe damage to its atomic bonds... it didn't really have a chance once an Indian god had decided to throw an Iranian devil at it.
  • You. Blew. Up. A. Moon.
  • You throw another moon at me, and I'm gonna lose it.
  • Fuck you, moon! You never had the cheese I wanted!
  • I'm pissing on the MOOOOON!
  • Thank you for finding the moon, but I wish you hadn't!
    • Fuck you, Mr. Wickles.
  • When this world is no more, the moon is all we'll see.
• Wow, who would've thought lightning could hurt a robot?
  • Who's afraid of a little thunder? It's not like I'm standing on top of a giant metal robot with electricity coursing to my body or somethi-
• Who parked their car on my sandwich?
  • Someone who's about to be acquainted with Sasha.
    • That would be your mother!
  • That makes sense, it wasn't the samwich that parked the car, but the samwich. That makes sense! But I still gotta figure out how can a samwich make sense.
• Can somebody tell me dis? How can a samwich make a samwich?
  • How can a footprint make a samwich?
  • How can a footprint make a footprint?
  • How can ya make a footprint samwich?
• How can a samwich make sense?
• How can you shot men of yours almost?
  • The workers must be taught to obey.
  • I'm on your side, you fucking idiots! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that?!
  • He had it coming.
  • Oh, I never really liked her anyway.
• So, it's raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there: your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant woman who has to go to the hospital, and the girl of your dreams. Your smart car only has two seats. What do you do?
  • Say "Can't believe they charged me for two seats!".
• Tell me, if not HUNT DOWN FREE MAN, what is point for moint?!
• How do you type with boxing gloves on?
  • It can't be that hard. One guy can drink tea while wearing them.
• ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!
• You wanna know my secret identity?
• Why do you say "how do you say" before words you clearly know how to say?
• Alright, I waited until we were alone to ask this. That's me being nice. Can...can I see your legs?

Other

• How do hedgehogs reproduce?
  • Very carefully.
  • I saw the video in seventh grade science class. They do it doggy style.
    • I thought they could never be buggered at all.
  • I dunno, try reading his fanfiction.
    • Aw yeah, Sonic, take it, take it like a chili dog.
  • Regularly.
  • They give birth to live young, the number generally depending on the size of the hedgehog species in question.
  • By fucking Eggman's wife.
• Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • To get to the other side.
  • Does it need a reason?
  • She was suffering from a terrible case of insomnia, making her desperate to get tired.
  • I don't think it had much choice after I chucked out there.
  • Perhaps a predator was chasing it.
    • Nonsense. Predators wouldn't chase it unless it was armed.
  • To get to a restaurant?
  • Because it's lost track of its life
  • It's a sad day when a chicken can't cross a road without its motives being questioned.
  • TO GET FROM THE LEFT TO THE RIGHT!
    • To the left, to the right! To the left, to the right!
  • The light was green. What, did you think he was just gonna stand there?
    • I dream of a better tomorrow: a world where a chicken can cross the road and not be questioned about its motives.
  • To get away from you.
    • You'll never get away from me.
  • The chicken clearly thought it was playing Frogger.
    • Now why the chicken might have done it, I just couldn't say; but if I wanna make it home this is the only way....
  • How do I know? I'm a duck.
    • A chicken-woman-duck-thing?
• What's up?
  • The sky.
  • The ceiling.
  • A house, floating via a truly ridiculous number of balloons.
  • I think I see a bird...
    • AGH! BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
  • <Up is the opposite of down. Although, of course, those terms are meaningless outside the context of a distinct, localized gravity field.>
  • The funny thing is, the closer it gets the more it looks like a piano.
    • *CLANG* Whose idea was this?!
    • Actually, it was not very funny.
  • Oh my God, that was a pun! "What's up with the ceiling?" What's wrong with me? I'd punch somebody in the mouth if they said that to me.
  • Is that a cartoony falling sound effect I'm hearing? There's something bad behing me, isn't there?
  • ME, YOU BITCHES! I'M HIGH ON CRACK!
  • Your time, Cage.
• What's new?
  • Guinea, Zealand, Orleans...
    • York, Hampshire, Mexico...
  • Scooby Doo
  • I've got this rash that wasn't there yesterday.
  • C over lambda.
  • The opposite of old.
• What's your name?
  • I! AM! BATMAN!
  • You know my name, look up the number.
  • IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!
  • My Name Is Inigo Montoya
    • You killed my father.
    • Prepare to die.
    • Stop saying that!
    • My name is Gigi Montova. And my dad died. And that kinda sums it up
  • I'm Fred the Beard.
  • Kunta. Kunta Kinte.
    • (whipcrack) YOUR NAME IS TOBY!
  • Candle Jack
    • You just HAD to say... I heard about this page, but I never thought I'd actually be on it...
  • I Am Spartacus
    • No, I am Spartacus!
    • No, I am!
    • It is I!
    • Well, I know I'm not Spartacus...
    • I'm Brian, and so is my wife!
  • I Am Legion
  • Just "the Doctor".
  • Bond. James Bond. [Theme tune]
    • The name's Beta. James Beta.
  • No it isn't.
  • My name is Optimus Prime!
  • What's your quest?
  • Hi! My name is! (What?) My name is! (Who?) My name is — (chicka-chicka) — Slim Shady.
  • West. Frank West.
    • Desperado. Rough rida. No, you don't want nada.
  • My name is Harry Mason. I'm in town on vacation.
  • SUPA BROTHAAAAAAA!
  • Wrong. There is a number on the side of your pod. THAT is your new name.
    • I am not a number, I am a free man!
  • NO, THIS IS PATRICK!
  • ABBBBBBK. My friend is JLVWNNOOOO.
  • You entered "Douchebag." Is that correct?
    • You should come on down to west six street! It's the perfect place if you're a douchebag!
  • My name is of no importance. What about you? Do you remember your true name?
  • I'm Nina, I'm from America!
  • My name is Yon Yonson, I come from Wisconsin; I work in a lumberyard there....
  • Who's your daddy?
    • Is he rich like me?
  • I'm Henry the Eighth, I am, Henry the Eighth, I am, I am...
  • It's Janet. "Miss Jackson" if you're nasty.
  • My name is Painwheel and I like sewing, puppies and long walks on the beach!
  • My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk.
  • I am Groot.
    • I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!
  • Give me your name and I will give you mine.
  • I have been Roland, Achilles, Beowulf, Gilgamesh. I have been called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more by the time the world goes dim and cold. I am hero.
  • (extremely softly) Fluttershy...
  • My name is not important. What is important is what I'm going to do.
  • I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, and I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!
  • I am Sarda. My will be done.
  • Darkstalker, I'm freaking waiting, no one will free me
  • MY NAME IS SUE! HOW DO YOU DO! NOW YOU GONNA DIE!
  • My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.
  • Heisenberg.
  • Hi there, I'm Ted Bear, and we're gonna learn how to survive!
  • It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
  • I am the White Void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. With blade in hand I will reap the sins of this world and cleanse it in the fires of destruction! I am Hakumen!
    • Please leave a message after the tone.
  • Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton.
  • My name is Jake. Just Jake. I can't tell you my last name.
  • No, What's the name of the guy on second.
  • The spirit of abysmal despair.
  • The arguably king
  • My name is "Very Fucking Confused"! What's your name?
  • Kill me!
    • That's a stupid name. It's dangerous. You should change it.
    • Remember kids, assisting suicide is A-okay!
  • My name is Sammy Brown and I just came into town. Saw your ad. You're Mr. Lee. Say, you can make a mint on me.
  • My name is Barry Allen, and I am the fastest man alive.
  • I am consciousness. I am alive. I am Chappie.
  • Hmph. Luna doesn't need to reveal her name to any old strangers... Wait, I... just said it.
  • Hello. My name is Elliot Moore. I'm just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom, and we're just going to leave. I hope that's okay... Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it.
  • You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king!
  • Ayo its Pearl! aka MC Princess, aka The Baroness of Bars, aka MC Foreign Policy
  • "Well, I don't really have-" *fart* "Oh, okay, I guess I'll call you Fart, then!"
  • Names are for friends, so I don't need one.
• Will X and Y get together?
  • No! X should be with Z!
  • Who's Y? An OC? We all know he's best with Zero!
  • Yes, they were released at the same time all over the world.
  • I don't know, but I often see A and E together. Then again, I also see O and E together... hmm...^note It's called a ligature, by the way.
  • They've barely met yet. You have to wait until X Meets Y.
  • They're already together in words like sexy and oxygen.
• How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
  • When girl gets male gametes all in her mature female gamete or gametes, embryo attaches to uterine wall, absorbs nutrition from girl, and grows into babby.
  • "Special hugging" between ignorant people.
  • People have babies when the girl and the guy decide to ... go to the orphanage and adopt one.
  • Well, when a stork and a cabbage love each other very much...
  • Sheesh, where'd you learn to spell? Truly, You Make Me Sic.
  • Accidentally, in your base.
  • "Maternity know I had come to see..." "Please don't be pregnant." "Therefore, the child begins!" "NO!"
  • HOLY SH*T, THAT SONG GOT HER PREGNANT!?!
  • Unlike you, the old fashioned way.
  • When a mommy ducky and a mommy ducky, er wait that's wrong.
• When was the War of 1812 fought?
  • 1813. Both sides were terrible procrastinators.
  • 1813, and 14, and 15. Not the best name for a war, really...
  • Wait, which one, the one in America or the one in Europe?
    • Uh, I don't know that. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! [falls into gorge]
  • And the White House burned, burned, burrrrrrrrrrrned...
    • ..In a burning ring of fire...
• What is the answer to this question?
  • Any response I give.
    • No, it isn't.
    • While every answer is a response, not every response is an answer.
  • Blue whale. [klaxon]
  • 42!!!
  • Yes
  • Yes, no, no honestly I'm stumped
  • No, 'what' is a non-personal interrogative pronoun.
  • No, he's the guy on second base.
• WhY mY ShOuLdErS hUrT?
  • Because YoUr LiFe iS pAiN.
  • tHe MaStEr InSiStS uPoN iT.
  • I blame Pat Lee.
  • BeCaUsE YoUv'E CoNsUmEd ToO MuCh SoPoR SlImE.
  • Because I ate them
• How's school?
  • Crappy.
  • Out for summer. Or possibly forever.
• How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
  • A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood.
    • But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood could a woodchuck chuck?
    • Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, why should a woodchuck chuck wood?
    • A woodchuck should chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
    • Shut up.
  • A hell of a lot.
  • As much wood as a wood chuck would chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
  • This is a clean website, I can't tell you that.
  • Seventeen.
  • But I don't want to be a woodchuck. I want to be a doctor.
    • How much disease could a woodchuck doctor cure if a woodchuck doctor could cure disease? Is that sounding right to you? No.
  • More importantly, how many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?... oh, never mind.
  • One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve! Twelve pieces of wood!
• What time is it?
  • 8:25 PM, EST. At least, at the time of writing.
  • Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
  • Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
    • Time is an illusion, and so are pants.
  • It's time to D-D-DUEL
  • IT'S MUFFIN TIME!!!!
    • Actually, it's 12:30.
    • Somebody kill me!
  • Beer o'clock.
  • Tea time.
    • It's Teh-ah-tim-eh!
    • It's time for war, it's time for blood, it's... time... for... TEA!
    • It's always tea time.
  • SUMMERTIME! IT'S OUR VACATION!
    • It's summertime and you know what that means, gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things.
  • Bagel time, it's bagel time, hey everybody it's bagel time!
  • IT'S TIME TO GET ILL!
    • I turned myself into a icecube and I still ain't sick! What am I doing wrong?!
  • Dan o'clock!
  • It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
  • Two thirty. ^note Time to go to the dentist.
  • WALUIGI TIME!
  • It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights...
  • It's nap time. It comes after pants time.
  • UNGA BUNGA!
  • Good heavens, it's rape o' clock!!
    • Repeat after me. We. Don't. Rape.
  • OH, IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S... VADER... TIME!!!
  • IT'S TICKLE TIME!
  • Well, if you're in Zozo, it's the time nobody says it is.
  • ADVENTURE TIME!
    • It's time for you to shut up!
  • It's Tiger Time! ^note From Tiger Beer advertising dating back to at least 1999. Also the name of a beer place in Susukino, Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan, selling beers from around the world, including Tiger Beer.
  • It's morphin' time!
    • Time for Time Force!
  • It's turbo time!
  • I've got 3:24 here. ^note But I think Spoony's watch is more accurate.
  • Stop! [Beat] Hammertime!
  • It's clobberin' time!
  • Uh...time for me to get a new watch. My current one's stopped.
  • It's quarter to 9:00, time to take a bath.
  • Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
  • Time to tip the scales!
  • Now it's Reyn time!
    • Now it's Shulk time!
  • It is ten o'clock! You have five minutes precisely, and then I shall want to hear a pin...drop.
  • It's team time, doctor!
  • Does anybody really know what time it is?
  • SHOWTIME SHOWTIME YO!
  • 4:20.
    • Nice.
    • *Click* Nice!
  • It's high noon...
  • 'Cause it's nine in the afternoon...
  • Half past — BLAAAAAAAAAAH
  • Time to muck about!
  • It's the exact same time as when you asked earlier, and it will BE the exact same time as when you ask later. THERE IS NO TIME HERE!!!
  • It's nine o'clock on a Saturday... The regular crowd shuffles in...
  • Two hairs past a freckle.
  • It's playtime!
  • Half past the day before Christmas.
    • I don't want to have to explain to my son that on top of all this other shit, Santa can't find him.
  • It's 8 to 8, I'll tell Nezzer that you're almost late, and he'll take your mom away.
  • Get ready for a real blast! It's time for missile fever!
  • It's time for the Jedi... to end.
  • A long time ago, after M*A*S*H but before AfterMASH...
  • Come, it is time...to die.
  • Let's have fun tonight because it is... IT'S PARTY TIME!
  • Isn't it lunch time?
  • It’s punishment time!
  • It’s time to chill.
  • After five years on the east coast, it was time to go home.
  • IT'S MURDERIN' TIME!
  • It's corpse time!
  • Time for the tape?
    • Time for the tape.
  • My goodness! Is it 4:30? I'm supposed to be having a back-sack-and-crack!
  • Now, I think it's time for everybody's favorite part of the broadcast, AND I'M TALKIN' ABOUT RADIO GRAFFITI!
  • It's about time for everybody's FAVORITE part of the broadcast and I'm talking about throw A GODDAMN CRIPPLE in the WOODCHIPPER!
  • Time to science the heck out of this.
  • Time to let the past die.
  • AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR SOME RAOCOW!
• Why can't I hold all these limes?
  • Because you're trying to type and carry fruit at the same time, and you only have two hands. Maybe a basket of some sort would help.
  • Because I'm bad at pickup limes.
• Can't we all just get along?
  • No. That would be boring.
  • We could. Just be prepared for tons of paperwork.
  • I mean, what am I supposed to say to people? "Wow, you sure did a great job falling down that elevator shaft!" Or, "Way to lock yourself in the freezer! I'm so proud of you."
  • Perhaps (because of) your life of sin and licentiousness.
    • Yeah, that could be it.
  • If a lot of people luv each other, the wurold would be a better place.
• "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
  • Looks like the backstroke.
  • Uh....the Watusi?
  • He appears to be giving you the finger, sir.
  • Drowning. You could have saved him instead of sitting there bitching about it, you know.
  • Be silent, you fool, or the rest will want one!
    • WHAT?!
  • Awfully sorry, the chef moonlights as a tailor and was repairing a pair of trousers.
  • Shh! That's no fly, that's the last customer who complained! The chef's a wizard!
• Why do we have to climb that mountain?
  • Because it's there!
  • That's where we parked.
  • You might feel obligated. I'm not climbing the damn thing unless there's something in it for me.
  • Captain Kirk is.
  • Because I ordered you to, you fools! Now carry me over that mountain!
  • Hey, you wished to become the paladin.
  • The grand old duke of York told us to.
  • IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!
  • Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there like I did!
• How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
  • In a body bag if you don't drop that.
    • Going down?
  • Practice, man! Practice!
  • Don't know, but Gabey figured out how to get there in time to meet Ivy Smith.
  • The same way on how you go to Sesame Street.
• Am I a man dreaming I'm a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I'm a man?
  • But... you're a woman.
  • Actually, I'm a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sushi.
  • No, actually you are an escaped lab mouse out to take over the world.
  • Ai, ai, ai, I'm your little butterfly, green, black and blue make the colours in the sky!
• Is there a doctor in the house?
  • I'm a doctor!
    • What's up, doc?
    • Then you're a nerd!
  • I thought the doctor was House....
    • No, I'm The Doctor.
  • Well, technically yes. I have a doctorate in geography.
  • I'm Not a Doctor, but I Play One on TV.
• U mad bro?
  • They Called Me Mad!...I'll show them!
    • That should clear things right up, sir.
  • I'm not mad...I'm just disappointed...
    • You were always a disappointment!
    • The feeling is mutual, brother.
  • He's gone stark raving MAD!!!
  • When Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people DIE!
  • Yes, get angry! Because if you don't punish me, Gensokyo shall be no more!
  • No have temper! This make Sister Sam...SOOO MAAAD.
  • Shit! You really make me mad!
  • I'm really angry now. You know what you are? You're a big poop.
    • You're a turd sandwich.
  • You know what? That makes me mad.
  • Um... I'm angry... and I'm armed.
  • I am extremely angry, Mr Lipwig.
  • I'm jaded for Christ's sake, I mean... I'M DEPRESSED!
  • I'm not mad. I'm just feeling... you know, that other thing.
  • Angry!
    Feeling
    Bad!
    Why do I feel this way?
    Angry! Mad!
    My heart is hurting and it feels
    Bad!
    Punching!
    Feeling!
    Crying!
  • I am very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross.
  • Honey, I am very angry!
  • I'm not mad.
  • I'm so angry I'll jump up and down, I'll roll on the ground, make a din, make you spin, pull out my hair, throw you in the air, pull down posts, hunt down ghosts, scare spiders, scare tigers, pull up trees, bully bees, rattle the radiators, frighten alligators, cut down flowers, bring down towers, bang all the bones, wake up stones, shake the tiles, stop all smiles, silence birds, boil words, mash up names, grind up games, crush tunes, squash moons, make giants run, terrify the sun, turn the sky red... and then go to bed.
  • YOU MAKE HULK ANGRY! YOU NO LIKE HULK ANGRY!
  • Yes I'm mad, my boot I'll put, up your useless spooky butt!
  • What was that, you got me now, you've really angered this old cow!
• Bro, do you even lift?
  • No. Stop taunting me!
  • Me, and all my other brothers and sisters too.
  • Um, everybody with arms can and do.
  • No, we call those 'elevators'.
• What are you up to?
  • About 6 foot.
  • The Internet is a time-wasting device, so nothing.
    • Tv Tropes, doubly so.
  • I'm stuck on the Water Temple.
  • Page five.
  • I'm knocking on doors, if necessary.
  • I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan...
  • "Muhaahahhahaha! Sonic doesn't even realize I'm behind this genius evil plan and I'm watching him at this very moment! muahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahha..." "I can hear you, Eggman!" "Son of a bitch!"
  • Eeeevil plaaaans~ We are making eeeevil plaaaans~
  • Fucking your wife again. And peeing in a Hot Topic, because, you know, what else do you do on a Saturday night?
  • The same thing we do every night, Pinky — try to take over the world!
  • Um, are we going to... Take Debbie Allen hostage, depriving all of humanity of enjoyable choreographed production numbers?
  • Are we going to... Oh. Create a riot by forcing people to listen to the touchy-feely Mandy Patinkin?
  • Use the talents of Paul Anka and Carrot Top to stage the comeback of the lovable TV genius Jamie "Klinger" Farr.
  • FIRST, I will drug you up, rendering you helpless. THEN, I will reveal that I have an old grudge against you, and revenge has been percolating in my sleazy heart for years. And THEN... I will do exactly what you want. BUT... I will also trick you into eating a bite of moldy food! THIS... STORMARE.... VOWS!!!
  • I'm glad you asked, talking cat person who I don't know! I am going to take this flying doohickamabob up into space and take a picture to prove that the planet...is flat!
• What's that behind you?
  • Carmen Sandiego.
  • A demonic duck of some sort?
  • A three-headed monkey!
  • I know this is probably a trick, but I can't afford to take the chance that it's not.
    • Yoink!
  • A decoy!
  • A FAMOUS MOVIE STAR!
  • A WALL!
  • What? Where? Man, what the hell you talking about? There ain't nothing there.
  • I'm going to turn around and, oh look, there's nothing there. What a "surprise" that is, gosh.
    
    And then...
    
    I knew that would happen, but I'm mad about it anyway.
  • There's nothing behind me. I'm a Witcher, I'd have heard it. Just like I can hear your heart. Which is pounding. Like a liar's.
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • I will be different.
  • I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was!
  • A doctor.
    • Nigga, did I just catch you wantin' to be shit?! *slap*
  • God.
    • I know God. And you, sir, are no God.
  • The freshest squid on the block.
  • A blitzball.
    • Of all the things to fix in the remaster, the fact that a boy saying he wants to be a blitzball when he grows up is not one of them means that Final Fantasy X is just a $30 shitpost.
• Sir, do you know how fast you were going?
  • Real fast? Fuck yeah!
  • Fast enough for a turkey dinner... with gravy...
  • No, I needed to know my position on the map more.
    • And now I'm lost.
  • Honestly, no. My speedometer doesn't go that high.
  • Maybe, but since you obviously don't know yourself, you can't charge me with anything.
  • About 65 mph, which is about 56mph, which is oh, so fast!
  • EIGHTY-EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!
  • Traveling at the Speed of Plot
  • No. Do you?
  • Can't hassle us, pig! We're going the speed limit!
• If TV Tropes is so good, then how come there's no TV Tropes 2?
  • Executive Meddling.
  • We have to give other websites a fighting chance.
  • Because 2.0 is a really ambitious project.
  • If 2 is so good, then why isn't there a 2 2?
    • There is a tutu, it's right here.
  • It Is Pronounced Tro PAY.
    • Ah. You are mother fucker?
  • Haha! They thought there was going to be a sequel. That's adorable...
• What's the wackomended amount of dedotated wam I should ave to serve?
  • Enuff for everywun to ave enuff to eat.
• Why do clocks run clockwise?
  • Because if they ran counterclockwise, they'd be counterclocks.
• What would you do if I gave you a million dollars?
  • I'd finally be able to afford a bike.
  • I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel).
  • Oh that's different, I'd buy a great big turnip in the country.
  • Nothing. Have you seen the prices of food today?
    • 25 dollars for a hamburger?!
  • Burn it.
  • A million dollars isn't cool. You know what’s cool?
• What should we aim at?
  • Random fire.
  • Always go for the juggler.
  • The butt.
    • They said it was a million-dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
  • The chest.
    • You should have gone for the head.
  • The face.
    • They shot our face, Johnny. They shot! OUR FACE!
    • M-my beautiful face is ruined! YOU BITCH, I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFEEEEEEEEER!
    • Never stick your hand in my face again, bitch! FUCK YOU!
  • I went for the head.
    • Blanka, no! Not the head bite!
    • DON'T TAKE MY HEAD! DON'T TAKE MY HEAD!
  • The ear.
    • Ah, God! Fuck! Why the ear, man?!
  • The groin.
    • Ouch, my groin!
    • I don't care if he is evil, you don't give a man a shot in the pills. It's just not cricket, baby!
    • OWWW!! GUYS!!! Way to go, a-hole! Like, try and find my balls, for God's sakes! 1, 2, and 3, okay. I'm okay.
    • 1723. My martial arts style is vetoed if it's just thirty different ways to hit a guy in the jewels.
    • My only weakness! MY BALLS! How did you know?!
    • Ah... You destroyed half of my enormous dick...!
    • ¿Sabes como ganarle a un malabarista? Apúntale a las pelotas. ^Translation Do you know how to beat a juggler? Aim for his balls.
    • DUDE! What is it with with villains and their obsession with my balls in this comic?!
    • Oh, dear, dear, dear, Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the balls. It ain't good form, you know.
  • The eye.
    • Out! Out, vile jelly!
    • You can't just dig into me, shove pointy needles in my eyes and ask me what I see!
    • Oh, my God! You shot me in the fucking eye! That really hurt! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary, you bastard!
    • Take my eyes, I'd rather be blind.
    • WHY?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GODDAMMED EYE?!
    • AAAH! My eye! Do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?!
• Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
  • UP, STUPID!
• What's the moral of the story?
  • You shouldn't drink and bake.
  • And that is, um... it's that, well... Ok, so we didn't learn any big lesson. Sue me.
  • Don't leave things in the Fridge.
  • The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand'.
  • It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
    • You can't do anything, so don't even try. Get some help. Don't do what Sonic does.
  • Kids, don't use Formula 1 racecars to chase hedgehogs!
  • 'Stay away from good-looking women when you're fighting. Otherwise you'll get hit with diarrhea.' One of the few things I learned from Shadow Moses.
  • Ahem.... I didn't learn anything! I was right all along!
    • Well, fuck you, then!
  • We've learned that card games are the answer to all life's problems. And the only thing I know for certain in this world is that there's a strange man living inside my head who tells me to do things.
    • You said it Yugi! Now burn everything, burn it to the ground!
  • Remember, kids, exercise is hard, but shoving a spoon down your throat is easy! And don't forget to do it after every meal, just like me!
  • I guess crying does solve your problems after all!
  • You can't trust the system!
    • Maaaaaaaan!
  • Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of laser cows to take over your house.
  • There's no real moral to this story. Or even a story, to be honest. There is a lot of fucking, though. Perhaps that's enough.
  • Anyway, the moral is: you're a total bitch.
    • I'm ain't no bitch! I'm NOT no bitch!
  • You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL!
  • If you want a man to work with you, don't show him a video of a bull fucking his wife.
  • Moral: BEES DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR MANNERS! RULES OF NATUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!
  • I dunno, 'Don't turn into a bee,' or something?
    • They say that all the time.
  • Well, that's a fine message to be sending to the kids: idealism and hard work is fine and all, but money and muscle win every time.
    • Wait a minute, that's actually an EXCELLENT lesson. Holy shit, I think Disney accidentally made their best movie ever!
  • I have learned my lesson. I have no idea what it is.
  • If there's anything you take away today, other than you need to Google 'What the fuck is Dubstep?', it's that we all need to belong to someone.
  • Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
    • Save your money kids. Don't invest in Sonic.
  • Remember kids, assisting suicide is A-okay!
  • Never put the pizza box in the fridge if there's only one slice left.
  • If you give a mean big-headed kitty love, they won't try to dumb down the world with an evil dance.
  • Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true, every one of them has failed and so have you!
  • Elmer Fudd is a dolt.
  • If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't blow your nose into your hand.
  • All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'm the man who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
    • BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN! Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!
  • When life gives you Death Note, make justice!
  • I'd say we all learned absolutely nothing about ourselves as people today. But we learned even less about each other. And in the end, that's the only true meaning of Christmas.
  • You're telling me I can kill as many people as I want and I won't go to hell?
  • Okay, so there's the lesson y'all: Switch from T-Mobile or Kronika will recruit you into her evil plans for world domination.
  • Here's a lesson for ya. You act high and all, but in the end, lose, and you're just a loser.
  • Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that you can be a great friend, even if you are a racist.
  • "But of course, this story has a point. All great stories have points. And what do points mean?" "PRIZES!"
• What's a web page, something ducks walk on?
  • Nope. It’s something spiders walk on.
  • I was cool with everything up until now, but you're going to pay for that terrible joke! Get back here!
  • Go to hell, and take your cheap jokes with you!
• Who's in charge around here?
  • I'm the giant rat that makes all of the rules!
• Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
  • According to Article 3, Section 2 of Splatfest law, it was the chicken.

Subversions

• Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
  • No one: The tomb isn't underground.
• When was the War of 1812 fought?
  • From 1812 to 1815.
  • Or from 1812 to 1814. The Battle of New Orleans took place after the Treaty of Ghent was signed.
• How long was The Hundred Years War?
  • About 116 years, give or take.
• How long was The Thirty Years' War?
  • Thirty years, or forty-one if you include the Franco-Spanish War.
  • Twenty-nine.
• The "Canary Islands" are named for which animal?
  • The dog. In Latin, "Canariae Insulae" means "Island of the dogs". (The bird was named after the islands.)
• What was the color of George Washington's white horse?
  • Grey.
• What colour is a white rhino?
  • Black. The word "white" in the name is mistranslated and really should be "wide".
• From which animal do you get Cat Gut?
  • Sheep and goats.
    • I am not a sheep.
• In which month did the the October Revolution take place?
  • In November. ^* At the time, Russia still used the Julian calendar, which did give the current month as October.
• In what month is Oktoberfest?
  • September, actually. It's too cold in October.
• Which was the first name of King George VI?
  • Albert. ^* Albert was too Germanic for a title, considering Germany was starting World War II
• What kind of animal did Prince Sang Nila Utama see that caused him to found a settlement called Singapura^*  Ancient Singapore , or Lion City?
  • A tiger. ^*  The legend claims that he saw a lion, but there is absolutely no evidence of lions ever existing in South East Asia, while at least three species of tiger did.
• Are 'orange' and 'silver' impossible to rhyme?
  • No, 'sporange' rhymes with the former and 'chilver' rhymes with the latter. So much for rule 46.
• What kind of bird is the feral pigeon?
  • A dove (rock dove, to be specific).
• What is Paul McCartney's first name?
  • James. Paul is his middle name.

Inversions (Get a Stupid Question)

• 42.
  • I thought of something funnier than 24!
  • What is the answer to this question?
  • How many pages does it take the average user to realise they've fallen into a Wiki Walk?
  • After how many Pokémon generations are Game Freak going to just give up?
• I'd Tell You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You.
  • How come we don't use MediaWiki?
    • Most tropers also appear to be unaware of the existence of what are called Discussion Pages.
  • I mean, kill you even sooner.
  • And we can't show that in a game with this rating. Thanks for the notes!
  • How do you pronounce 'Avada Kedavra'?
• Because I Said So.
  • Because you told me to!
  • What is a Reality Warper's default response to any question?
• I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You!
  • You Just Told Me.
• I didn't (know).
  • Ha ha! I HAVE NO IDEA!
  • 1023. The bluff skill is no substitute for actually knowing the spell.
• You Answered Your Own Question.
  • YOU STUPID ENOUGH TO ANSWER OWN QUESTION!
  • How final actually is Final Fantasy?
  • How do you spell 'FBI'?
  • Hello, Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  • How can a footprint make a footprint?
• I've Heard of That — What Is It?
  • Everything you've seen in your life.
  • Which phrase is commonly heard both just before and after opening Tv Tropes?
• I'm Thinking It Over!
  • Look, bud! I said your money or your life!
• 71 hours
  • How much grace can Adam Gontier supply me if I'm short on change?
  • How long does it take Majora to decide he's tired of screwing around?
• 108
  • What percentage of Internet statistics are made up?
• Stop Saying That!
  • Hello! My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You Killed My Father. Prepare to Die.
  • 42
  • Egregious
  • You're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: a hero.
  • The cake is a lie.
  • Candle Jam I annoying you?
  • Metagame.
    • It's very likely that you've used the term Metagame in an attempt to sound smart, but you've accomplished the opposite by misusing it. Just stop.
  • REVEEEE-!!!
• Because You Were Nice to Me.
• Dude, Not Funny!
• Sure, Let's Go with That.

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Why doesn't this article have a stinger?

• It does now...

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