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Noodle Implements

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Gumball: I only have one question, though. What were you gonna do with the fan and the dice?
Jamie: Nothing. I know people who imagine way scarier stuff than anything I could think of. So I just took any two words together. You, me, a jug of gravy, and an umbrella. A flame and a French horn. A feather duster and a pack of mini pizzas.
The Amazing World of Gumball, "The Girlfriend"

Sometimes the best way to describe something is to give a few hints and let imaginations run wild, especially if you aren't allowed or can't be bothered to get explicit. One common way is to imply the general feel and mention a few outlandish items to be used but not how they are used. After all, who could come up with a funnier scene involving these odd tools than the viewer's imagination could?

Noodle Implements is used to suggest an act that would normally be unthinkable to show, by listing a set of objects in context. The most common uses are for an especially Zany Scheme, some delightfully exotic sex or some truly ingenious torture. The phrasing and circumstance makes it obvious, but the unknown act appears much more intense. Or more silly.

To compare it with Noodle Incident, Noodle Incident is basically a specific variant of Noodle Implements that already happened in-universe. Therefore a character can mention a Noodle Incident using Noodle Implements. An Incident is a single event, definite, while Implements can mean both "ongoing" and "tools", so it is more undefined and open.

If the Noodle Implements are used erotically off-camera while a character or characters observe, they may find the results Head-Tiltingly Kinky.

Noodle Implements can cause Fridge Logic (and/or Fridge Squick) if you attempt to work out exactly what you do with a snorkel, a feather boa and a stuffed giraffe that's so incredibly erotic. Unfortunately, someone will have worked it out. There're probably pictures online. If the use is well known, it may become a form of Shout-Out. They may also be used in Planning with Props.

In some cases, savvy characters will intentionally invoke this trope when questioning someone they've captured. Differs from Maximum Fun Chamber in that the character in question doesn't really know how to use the items to torture someone.

Contrast And Some Other Stuff, where you see exactly how real implements are being used but their precise identity is obscured to prevent idiots from trying this at home.

See also Maximum Fun Chamber, Comic Sutra, and Lost in Transmission. Compare Cow Tools, That Mysterious Thing. For lists of items used to commit an elaborate but unseen murder, see Once Killed a Man with a Noodle Implement. Not to be confused with Informing the Fourth Wall. Often used to establish a Crazy Workplace, where weird things like this happen all the time.

Example subpages:

Other examples

    open/close all folders 

  • A Mastercard commercial starring Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver implies that he fixed a truck using a paperclip, a ballpoint pen, a rubber band, a pair of tweezers, some nasal spray and a turkey baster.
  • An AT&T commercial features the saleswoman seemingly reading a customer's mind, answering his questions before he can even finish asking them. Afterwards, he thinks to himself "Are you inside my mind?" which she denies without opening her mouth. She then (again without either of them opening their mouths) answers three more questions before he can ask them. The answers are "Albuquerque", "porcupine", and "Hollandaise sauce".

    Anime & Manga 
  • In one episode of Di Gi Charat Nyo!, Puchiko's guardians get ready to make a Phantom Cake, pulling out everything they need, which amounts to quite a pile, including (but not limited to) a bucket, a cactus, a tire, an umbrella, a drum, a moai and a Christmas Tree.
  • Durarara!! has mention of barrels of gasoline being rolled down the third floor of the highschool back when Izaya and Shizuo attended. No further information, not even a quirky name for this incident, is given.
  • The Region 1 DVD of Excel♡Saga has, in place of the standard legal warning, a parody thereof which warns that violations will be "dealt with in the most severe manner possible, most probably involving chicken feathers, cod liver oil and a very, very depraved walrus."
  • The dub version of Hetalia: Axis Powers features Germany claiming to have "killed a man in his sleep with only his own moustache and a grape".
  • Negima! Magister Negi Magi does a Continuity Nod involving some of these; when Chizuru and Natsumi are trying to nurse Kotaro back to health, and Chizuru suggests some sort of folk remedy involving shoving a spring onion up his rear end. Much later on, Natsumi drops by the Confessional to ask for advice concerning an incident involving "a large number of spring onions". One can only wonder exactly how far the initial idea managed to escalate...
  • Omamori Himari: Spring onions and posteriors is suggested (and apparently actually used) when Yuuto has a cold in chapter 34. That or Matra Milan just likes Negima, which would make sense, all things considered.
  • Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei:
    • When Nozomu is following Abiru's father around believing that he's abusing her, even the most mundane of items (and a copy of Strawberry 100%) are taken as tools of abuse in some way that people aren't quite clear on. Subverted later as the reason Itoshiki fears Abiru's father buying Ichigo 100% is because apparently there was a famous lone soldier who took down an army with a copy of Kimagure Orange Road.
    • A later chapter in the manga had a Sales Girl whose hobbies was to guess the use of various Noodle Implements the shoppers bought. She became so obsessed with finding out what some of the more confusing implements were for, that she kidnapped Nozomu and demanded answers, a la Saw.
  • Among the several threats against the protagonist's virginity in Oddman 11, one of Kirara's shines the brightest:
    Kirara: That's why I'm taking your virginity right here, right now. We've got some wasabi soy sauce right here, after all.
  • Kaguya-sama: Love Is War exaggerates this trope in Chapter 59, a Clip Show parody. The Student Council is going through the room and finding mementos from past stories when Fujiwara pulls out "the Cubari Facaccimo", a weird orb-like object (creature?) with a single eye, two muscular human legs, and little flags with random phrases like "Brightness" and "Half of one's life" written on them. When Shirogane says has no idea what the heck it is (much like the audience), Fujiwara starts to explain "Last year on Valentine's Day, Kaguya..." only to be silenced by a traumatized Kaguya.

  • One of Jeff Foxworthy's jokes involves the fact that singles have more interesting sex lives than married folk. "So there I was, tied down to her bed. Had motor oil smeared all over me. She came in with a saddle and a pair of jumper cables..."
  • Australian comedic trio Tripod had a song explaining what happens when Mummy and Daddy love each other very much... basically Daddy installs a special sling from the ceiling, Mummy wears a pig mask and Daddy wears scuba gear, then they put on their favourite H.R. Pufnstuf video and it's apparently on for young and old. Who knew?
  • Comedian Rich Hall joking about how easy it is to buy absolutely anything in Walmart:
    'I need a Bible, some road flares, and some gaffer tape!'
    'OK, try aisle 12.'
    • It's true though. Where else can you save the world on a beer budget?
  • George Carlin's famous bit "A Place For My Stuff", as it progresses, tends to accumulate more and more Noodle Implements.
    • Another great line from Carlin (when describing the removal of a growth): "This was a part of my head a minute ago! But not anymore; I pried the bastard off with paint thinner and a Phillip's-head screwdriver."
  • Carlos Mencia once related an incident where he attempted to purchase Vaseline and jumper cables (for his car repair) and a box of condoms (favor for a friend who was out). The cashier came to the conclusion that these were all for the same event and asked "Dude, what are you going to do to her!?!"
  • During one of his shows, Larry the Cable Guy said he once went to Costco and bought a 10 gallon drum of KY jelly and 5000 cocktail wieners, just to mess with the head of the cashier.
  • British comedian Lee Evans discusses how detergent ads always come on when a serial killer is on the loose:
    There's always an advert with a wife sorting her husband's washing, and she's all "Oil? Blood? And grass stains? Ha!" she not the slightest bit fucking suspicious?!
  • On hearing that Danny Boyle will be the artistic director for the Olympic games, Russel Howard said that he would be the best Boyle for the job, because if Frankie Boyle was in charge the opening ceremony would probably involve "Kerry Katona, a Labrador and some Viagra".
  • Comedian Gallagher, speaking about how his audience can improve their sex lives, in The Bookkeeper:
    Then, you see my act. Once you see me do in public what you want to do in the bedroom, it seems like the Amateur Hour! You'll feel free and open to shave the squirrels and get out the mayonnaise! Whoo! And mount the handlebars on the headboard! And ride, ride, ride!

    Comic Books 
  • Don Rosa's Uncle Scrooge story "The Treasury of Croesus" opens in the aftermath of "Magica de Spell's most complex and bizarre scheme yet" to get Scrooge's #1 Dime. Apparently it involved, among other things, fireworks and animals in ridiculous costumes.
  • Johnny the Homicidal Maniac does this in the end of his last issue when he attacks Squee's dad and says he may go blind, but that means Squee can get away with stuff more easily. He then decides to completely disable him, asking if he has a lick-em-aid stick to cause deafness and tweezers and shoelaces to alter his central nervous system and render him unable to "Fine Tune his Sensitivity to Vibrations"... Then realizes he might become an Olfactory Ninja.
    • Earlier he claims to have done "horrifying things with salad tongs," and on his twitter he says he murdered someone with a cheeto.
  • In an early issue of All-Star Superman, Lex Luthor is remote controlling a monster on a solar probe. For some reason, he's also holding a baseball bat. According to the writer, this was meant to convey Luthor's stance as someone whose mind just operates at a different level than everyone else's, and that, to Luthor, holding the bat was an integral part of the plan.
    • In The Film of the Book, Lex uses it to simulate smashing the probe's control board since the monster seems to respond to his movements.
  • Nextwave's Dirk Anger claimed he killed his wife because she would no longer do "that thing with the wig and the chickens and the bath of acid" for him.
  • Amelia Rules! has them playing a game called 'Thank God you're open,' which specifically invokes this trope; you're supposed to rush madly into a shop with $5 or so, breathlessly tell the cashier the name of the game, and ask for the most outrageous combination of items they can get.
  • An issue of Batman: No Man's Land has a scene where the Joker, one of his past torture victims (that is alive at the time of the scene), and some of his goons threatening said victim with yams. The victim's reaction says it all: "No please, not the yams!"
  • In one Super Mario Bros. comic, Bedtime For Drainhead, Luigi is about to enter the sleeping Mario's room with an alarm clock, a bucket, and a plunger.
    Luigi: Okay Princess. We have to wake Mario. This could get ugly.
  • In Wolverine, Mystique has this gem after Sabertooth comments that her shooting Wolverine in the face was "sexy."
    Mystique: Get me a caulk gun, a jug of ammonia, a stainless steel fish scaler and three minutes alone with loverboy here, and I'll show you sexy.
  • The first Asterix story, Asterix the Gaul, features a Roman torturer interrogating the Gauls for the ingredients for the magic potion, but the writers decided they wanted the tone to remain innocent. Thus, he's depicted holding an odd mixture of Cow Tools and innocuous but scary items such as wirecutters, a mallet and a barrel of water with a hose attached. In some editions, he's redrawn to carry things like feathers.
  • Ex-henchman Jeff Bladgett describes sexual brutality in prison to would-be archcriminals and supervillains in Patton Oswalt (yes, that Patton Oswalt)'s Masks: Scared Straight (illustrated by Amanda Connor) in a Cluster Bleep-Bomb -filled rant. You probably don't want to know ...
    The first minute they let you through that gate the heavy hitters start sizing you up. And then, for a pack of cigarettes or an extra slice of pie at dinner? They *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP*! *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP* with their titanium tentacle, and then *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP* your *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP* until you pass out. But then maybe they use their mental powers to *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP* flamethrower attachment to *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP* like WET PORK RINDS!!!
  • Scooby-Doo! Team-Up: Velma figures out Sir Haunts-a-Lot's secret identity by analyzing ballistics evidence, last weekend's football scores and third-grade report cards.
  • Stanley and His Monster: Issue 2 of Phil Foglio's 1993 miniseries introduces Nyx, Spot's demonic ex-girlfriend. The cover art features the following exchange.
    Stanley: So what's so bad about her?
    Spot: To answer that, Stanley, I'd have to tell you about the birds and the bees... and the chainsaws, and the weasels, and the ice picks, and the acid, and the...
  • Uncanny X-Men Vol 3 29:
    Magik: Conjuring the Mists of Ikthalon?
    Doctor Strange: We couldn't find that many turtles.
  • Wonder Woman (1987): When Widow Sazia hires Cheshire out of prison with a note and a challenge she has a small mirror, plastic butter knife and short length of twine smuggled in with the note, saying that if Cheshire can't escape with said items she's not the woman for the job. Her escape isn't shown but given the huge grin Cheshire sports when reading the note she seems to have had fun with the challenge.
  • Harley Quinn Annual 1. At one point Harley and friends meet Eggsy, a giant talking egg He says he wont tell them his Origin Story, but that it involves Chinese Sleeper Agents, A whip mustache, Apokolpis, Wonder Woman, A pro-American rally, the Metal Men, the Great Ten, Captain Boomerang, Dr.Magnust, Studio 54, Click-Clacks, an evil 8-track tape, a football stadium celebration, a LOT of super-glue, and a giant bird's nest.
  • Played with in an issue of Rat-Man. To stop an incoming villain, Rat-man asks his sidekick to find him some copper wire. Then he asks for two kangaroos; the sidekick calls that Rat-man crazy, but eventually gives up and produces two kangaroos out of thin air. When Rat-man complains that the kangaroos are too small, the sidekick has had enough and leaves. When the villain comes crashing in, a desperate Rat-man thinks "I'm not ready! The kangaroos are too small and I don't even have the tinned peaches yet!".

    Comic Strips 
  • In Twisted Toyfare Theatre, Jim Kirk had to deal with mirror universe versions of Vulcans that embraced non-logic. So, he told the highly insecure and polite version of himself some implements he needed: Three teenage girls and a squeegee. That plan was promptly dropped when the Vulcans took him by surprise.
  • Garfield:
    • Garfield and Odie devise a plan to get Jon out of bed that involves a wagon full of random objects. Jon gets up immediately upon seeing them... or whatever they crafted it into. Which may have been Garfield's plan all along.
    • In this strip, Jon sees Garfield wearing a jester hat, a bowtie, a ballet tutu, roller skates, and holding a shovel and tennis racket. Jon tries to ignore him and read his paper, but it becomes too much for him and he demands to know what Garfield is doing. Garfield replies the getup was to deliberately drive Jon crazy.
    • In this Garfield strip, we have a rather hilarious example. What on earth happened to Jon that would require these...random objects? A belt to hold up the remains of his pants, a fire extinguisher to put them out, and... a fishbowl.
  • In Dilbert, Alice temporarily becomes a telecommuter. The Pointy Haired Boss and Asok develop a plan to get her back in her cubicle, which involved tranquilizer darts, a giant flatbed truck, and a giant shoehorn (harpoon optional). It's not that hard to figure out which each of them is used for, knowing in the context that Alice has gained considerable weight due to sitting at home all day. They scrap that plan in favor of building a giant cubicle around her house.
    • In the early days of the strip before it focused on office humor, there was a running gag of Dilbert going into a Radio Shack equivalent and asking the clerk for various random stuff just to mess with him.
  • Brewster Rockit: Read the strips for September 18 and 19 of 2007 for a glorious example. The July 20, 2004 strip contains an example including a chicken suit and monkeys in space.
  • Calvin and Hobbes had a fair few of these. Notable is the one strip where Calvin puts on a helmet and cape and claims that today is the day that he'll "go for the gusto," with no further explanation given.
  • Frequently used as a punch line in the strips by Quino:
    • One single-panel strip shows a hotel guest first arriving to his room, and finding a loaded gun chained to the bed with a brand new box of ammo right next to it, and the room's walls all around riddled with bullet holes at roughly the same height range.
    • Another one depicts a very short man showing a very happy face, exiting a porn store after purchasing a stool from there; Also invoked for the passersby of the same strip, who are showing reactions ranging from disgust to pervert faces.
    • Subverted in another one where we see a depressed-looking man purchasing in a supermarket a stool and some rope to an unconcerned cashier.

    Films — Animation 
  • During the Robin torture scene in the uncut version of Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, there is a table covered in Joker's "tools" including a hacksaw, a plunger and a rubber chicken. There's also a half eaten donut, and a toothbrush with toothpaste. Of course, the latter can be explained by the Joker grin. The table used to contain actual torture tools, but censors asked for it to be changed, and the director found the result to be more hilarious and more "Joker-esque". In the original version — the one with the torture tools — the table is loaded with chemistry equipment, various painful and gruesome-looking hand tools, and various other supplies one might need to mutilate and Mind Rape a teenaged boy. There is also one conspicuous Noodle Implement: a plunger. Somehow, the presence of the plunger takes the scene from creepy up to nightmarish.
  • Lilo & Stitch has a hilarious scene where Lilo, happily tells a social worker that Nani "disciplines" her with bricks in a pillowcase sometimes five times a day. While it is clear that she is just being silly, it does not make Nani look good.
  • Monsters vs. Aliens:
    • B.O.B. is a one-eyed, talking, brainless blue blob that was the product of a freak chemical accident involving a tomato and ranch dressing.
    • How exactly can a pizza box, two cans of hairspray and a paperclip function as a supercomputer?
  • In Penguins of Madagascar, Kowalski's plan to get down to the abandoned ship involves hundreds of feet of kelp, and jellyfish trained to follow voice commands, and that's all we know about it.
  • In Ratatouille, one of the chefs claimed to have "killed a man, with this thumb!" Also, he "robbed the second largest bank in France using only a ballpoint pen".

  • Anything involving a Henway. What's a Henway? Go to the page to find out.
  • There's a joke out there where in a juried trial, a list of increasingly strange items is listed in the evidence. At the end, the jury finds that "They each would have paid a hundred dollars to have seen that fight".
  • An ordinary room contains 1231 things that Chuck Norris can kill you with. Including the room itself. (And no, not just the roof or the walls, which would come first. The entire room.)

  • Sufjan Stevens wrote a song titled "To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region: I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament, and It Involves an Inner Tube, Bath Mats, and 21 Able-bodied Men." It has no explanation and no lyrics.note 
  • From a parody of Mister Wizard on the Dr. Demento show:
    Mr Wizard: Today Timmy, we're going to learn how to make a nuclear reactor out of this spatula, an old inner tube and some macaroni noodles!
    Timmy: Gee Mister Wizard, aren't nuclear reactors dangerous?
    Mr Wizard: No Timmy, but macaroni noodles are, that's why I'm going to have to ask you to wear these safety goggles.
  • Ray Stevens' classic "It's Me Again, Margaret" describes an obscene phone caller, who in the last verse uses his one phone call after his arrest to call the titular Margaret one last time. He informs her that when he gets out, he's coming over with a weed whacker, a live chicken, and some peach preserves. The video goes one further, having Margaret show up at the police station with said items as she comes to bail him out.
    Margaret: And how much for these handcuffs?
  • Another Ray Stevens song "Shriner's Convention" featured some spoken lines where Bubba the Illustrious Potentate is scolding a Shriner named Coy over the phone. Several Noodle Incidents and implements are mentioned:
    Oh! Hello! Coy? Where have you been? No, you wasn't at the meeting! Well, I found out that at three o'clock this mornin' you was out there in your Fruit of the Loom's in the motel swimmin' pool with a bunch of them waitresses from the cocktail lounge! I just hope Charlene don't find out about this, Coy! What? Well, how'd you get that big motorcycle up there on the high dive, Coy?
  • "Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz" is a joke piece of classical music by John Stump. It's basically a long string of unplayable, cacophonous notes accompanied by bizarre stage directions, including "insert peanuts", "light explosives now... and... now", "untie slip knot", and "release the penguins".
  • The Traveling Wilburys' "Cool Dry Place" has a moderately eclectic set of things, many of which are musical instruments though the list also includes "old athletic shoes" and "things that sometimes hum." However, they're not actually being used to build or do anything, they just apparently all need to be stored in a cool dry place.
  • Tom Waits' "What's He Building?" "He has subscriptions to those magazines..."
  • A mammoth one in The Fiery Furnances' "Seven Silver Curses"; Matt's grandmother and her sister are running all over town collecting items to cast a spell on her husband so he'll stop cheating on her:
    Quick, for the potion, we have to get three dozen crabapples that fell off a raggedy old tree right in the southwestern corner of Columbus Park!
    Faster, we have to go up to Caputo's Produce and Fruit Market on Harlem and get the garden snake that lives in the banana bin!
    Hurry, we have to get the mercury out of the old thermometer they have through the north-facing doors to the left by the shoe-shine boys in the lobby of the Monadnock building!
    And don't be late, for you must get the silver out of the teeth of one George Karmalitis, who as we speak lies dead under a dirty wool blanket in the basement of the morgue of Laretto hospital:
    The silver teeth of a man killed by a jealous wife!
  • The song "Odalisque" by The Decemberists contains this line: "What do we do with ten baby shoes, a kit-bag full of marbles, and a broken billiard cue?"
  • The Revenge Song from The Bob & Tom Show is practically made of this trope, but these lyrics are particularly fitting:
    There are things that one can do,
    with Bengay, nair and super glue,
    a package of indelible dye.
    Why would a guy such as I ever buy,
    indelible dye,
    blue as the sky?
    Don't ask me why.
  • Bathtub Gin by The Floating Men. Apparently, Jeff Holmes needs a half a tank of gasoline, some chocolate bars, some nylons, some cigarettes, some magazines, some raw meat, some bed sheets, a window and a little less wind, a hammer, some Vaseline, some Haagen Dasz, a steel trap, a road map, a thumbtack and a way to cut in, a q-beam, a mickey, a SWAT team, some ammo, some Thorazine, a hacksaw, and a golf ball.
  • Eminem states in the BET Shady 2.0 Cypher that peace is about to be destroyed for good, lists what's required to stop it, and enforces their nature as Noodle Implements:
    Eminem: You're about to see peace destroyed, it'll never be restored
    When I unleash these beastly hordes on your CD stores
    Wanna stop it, you gon' need a priest, at least three swords
    A license to ill from the Beastie Boys, three Ouija boards
    And a squeegee, and please be warned: don't ask what the squeegee's for
    Or the holy water

    Music Videos 


  • In Hathor 61, apparently Enna's first (and only) time getting drunk involved banana pudding. She doesn't talk about that night.
  • Sid from Sequinox can disarm a smoke alarm using a rug, a knife, and duct tape. Her mother's a little concerned at how she already knows this when she's only a teenager.

    Print Media 
  • MAD once suggested keeping a database of jokes, to keep tabs on which have already been told and whom not to tell them to. They mention "the one about the elephant and the ant," which is apparently offensive to Armenians.
  • One article on Cracked suggested that somewhere on some big executive's "list of terrifying things to do" was something that involved "midgets and two cans of turpentine".
  • Entertainment Weekly, in an article on the supposed demise of the male pop star, said that Justin Bieber's recent antics pale in comparison with some of the things that stars have gotten away with over the years, and then advises their readers to Google the phrase "Shark Zeppelin Seattle". (Warning: you might need Brain Bleach if you do so.)

    Pro Wrestling 
  • A possible interpretation of these lyrics from Hillbilly Jim's theme "Don't Go Messin' with a Country Boy":
    "If you go messin' with a country boy
    a country boy a country boy
    If you go messing with a country boy
    This is what will happen to you
    You'd be biting off a hump bit and chew
    bit and chew bit and chew
    You'd be biting off a hump bit and chew
    thats wha will happen to you"
  • On GLOW, one of the regular skits was Ashley Cartier's "Asking Ashley" segments, where she'd read letters and answer them on the air. The third letter (she always read four letters) she'd read were always from a guy named "Tim" and written on purple stationery. "Tim" would mention some item he has and when Ashley saw what he wanted to do with it, she'd stop reading out loud with her jaw hanging open as she read the rest of it to herself, then crumple the letter and chastise "Tim" for having a dirty mind.
  • Professional wrestler John Cena used to do a Q&A session on called "5 Questions with the Champ." When a fan would ask a question such as "How did you spend your birthday?" or "How do you plan to spend the holidays?" he would say that "to protect the guilty," he wouldn't say exactly, but that it did involve [Insert Noodle Implements Here], some of which were: packets of Mayonnaise, children's golf clubs, a Samoan, Pay Per View cable, and massive amounts of alcohol.

    Puppet Shows 
  • Potter Puppet Pals:
    • In the short "Wizard Angst": "You will be dragged by your ears to the basement, where a drunken Filch will be waiting with a cactus and a croquet mallet..."
    • In the short "Wizard Swears" there's the dreaded Elder Swear:
      Your mother is a *** *** ***ing *** lorem ipsum *** *** *** admitem venium *** *** *** *** traguna *** *** *** *** *** hippopotamus *** *** *** *** *** Republican *** ***ing Daniel Radcliffe! *** *** *** *** with a bucket of r*** *** *** *** *** in a castle far away where no one can hear you *** *** *** Soup! *** *** *** *** with a bucket of d*** *** Mickey Mouse *** *** *** and a stick of dynamite *** magical *** *** *** *** alakazam!

  • An implied example: The Goon Show, "Tales of Old Dartmoor". Grythpype-Thynne asks Neddie for a "strange request". Neddie announces he'll do it at once. After some receding footsteps, most of a minute of strange sound effects including grinding, slams, bells, and then approaching footsteps, Neddie returns and says...
    Ned Seagoon: What was it you asked for again?
    Grythpype-thynne: Never mind, I'll smoke one of my own.
  • Another of many possible Goon Show examples: the episode 'The International Christmas Pudding' contains the following list of 'vital equipment':
    • One knee-action, self-reciprocating Christmas Pudding gun.
    • One hand painted inflatable Christmas Pudding decoy with rubber holly.
    • One portable plastic and gravel road.
    • One long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
    • One waterproof cover for same.
    • One same.
    • Thirty-three boxes of yellow kosher boots.
    • Another long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
    • One uncooked leather trilby with sugar feather.
    • One sixty foot explodable granite statue with built in plunger.
    • Detailed plans of what to do with long bent thing with a sort of lump on the end.
  • Cabin Pressure: Douglas Richardson manages to steal some extremely expensive whiskey without getting caught, despite the fact that he is on everyone's watch list, using nail varnish and a non-existent television aeriel.
    • The following year he manages the same feat, even though he is constantly supervised and frisked twice. He used a treatment for nail-biting, that time.
    • A sort of example: Douglas forces Martin to invent a story of how he escaped a polar bear with only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
  • Bleak Expectations absolutely loves this trope. Really it has too many to try to list: ranging from Mr. Sourquill's outrageous contraptions (a steam powered chair? a horse-drawn pencil? a carrier cheetah?), to Harry Biscuit's "inventions" (almost always involving swans), to architecture (a beef wellington tunnel?), to Mr. Gently Benevolent's evil schemes ("an even more complex and evil plan involving talking dogs, a special type of tarpaulin, and an enormous number of spoons!"?)

    Tabletop Games 
  • Cat And Chocolate: Making sense of noodle implements is the aim of the game. In this japanese game, you are trapped in a haunted house and something dangerous happens. You then have to use one to three random items from a hand of three cards (e.g., a pencil, an empty bottle, the cat or the chocolate from the title of the game...) to save yourself.
  • Demon Hunters: In a scene from the DVD that accompanied the core rule book, one of the Demon Hunters, Gabriel, is addressing the audience. He is relaying advice his mentor once gave him saying, "Whatever you do..." which fades out to static. Through the static, a few words can occasionally be made out. Eventually, the picture returns, with Gabriel still speaking. He continues, "...with a yak. That's the worst way to go." This is a Shout-Out to the ancient Hillary song: in the Himalayas, cow tipping attempts are not recommended. Which itself is a Noodle Incident, but more transparent one.
    Put me in the rack, Put me in the pillory, But don't let me go like Sir Edmund Hillary.
  • The Dresden Files: Harry Dresden's grocery list includes (in addition to Coke, an enormous amount of dog food, and Cheerios) paraffin, mothballs, a shower curtain, a rake, and a lawn gnome.
  • Forgotten Realms:
    • One novel and one game accessory mention the green elf druidess Aerilaya who "made vague comments about being involved in a scandal with a Chauntean monk, an oak tree, and a cask of ale (as well as [...] garrison commander and an elven archer with a traveling circus), and implied that her life would be somewhat more sedate" after retreat from that continent.
    • The Dean of Abjuration from the Wizards Guild of Raven Bluff dislikes gnomes to the point of rudeness and not even speaking directly to his fellow Dean of Illusion. He refuses to speak about the incident which caused this, but it's known to involve an obelisk, a five-headed dragon note  and talking spiders.
    • In spin-a-yarn the first of Shorter Buckleswashers adventuring band was killed in an incident involving "a narcoleptic dragon, several angst-ridden teen-aged mages, a flying carpet that was convinced it should be their leader rather than a mere possession, and a magical glowing chicken that turned out to be a transformed and furious drow priestess."
  • Deadlands: Any time a Junker builds a Magitek device in Deadlands: Hell on Earth, you can get a list like this quite easily. Justified since it's After the End; they're generally working with scraps from other devices.
  • Minute to Win It: The game based on the show includes rather strange things in its box: feathers, plastic eggs, marbles, and what the box refers to as a "banana on a leash".
  • Pathfinder: One expansion lets your bard tell a story so funny that it can free creatures turned to stone. The description notes that this story is about a humorless old woman who was eventually made to smile by "increasingly unlikely events involving a cart of horse manure, a king, and a flying carpet."
  • Warbirds: This video, which discusses the rules for the game, mentions that Scandals can come from drunkenness, recklessness, bigotry, cowardice or "any prank involving llamas, government buildings, and parachutes".
  • Warhammer Fantasy Battle: The Witch Hunter's Handbook describes some of the items necessary for undertaking the ceremony to be admitted into the First Mystery of the order of the Witch Hunters, which include a wild boar with one tusk painted black, three keys, a silver knife, a receptacle capable of holding three pints of liquid, a white robe made of material thin enough to tear, a length of stout rope, a leather-and-birch crop, and bandages and smelling salts. It's clear enough that the initiate needs to do something violent involving the boar, but the details are otherwise left to the reader's imagination.
  • The World of Darkness: Game books describe each skill or ability with a paragraph or so vignette describing a situation in which it's used. For the Intimidate ability in one Old World of Darkness book, a character asks for a combination of threatening items (but ones which don't make much sense when you put them together). He reveals to his companion after the subject squealed that he was leaving it up to the subject's imagination.

  • RENT:
    • "La Vie Boheme:" "Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawnchair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." (The line is spoken in jest, but the mental image is nonetheless interesting.)
    • There's "Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th Street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello . . . which she has never studied."


    Visual Novels 
  • In Strawberry Vinegar, Rie's mother whispering to her father about what he can do for more affection points. All the audience gets as a hint are Dad's small squeaks and embarrassed "No way!"'s. Rie mentioning she no longer wants to finish her sticky soybeans may or may not be adding to the implications.

    Web Animation 
  • The Leet World:
    • Ellis does this a lot:
      Montrose: What we need is a distraction.
      Ellis: If only my uncle were here. He could do things with a beet and a chicken that would distract anybody.
    • Also:
      Ellis: I was getting tired of the nightmares I had where you'd murder me in my bed with an eggbeater and some perseverance.
  • Red vs. Blue:
    • There's this little exchange:
      Sarge: Donut! Initiate "Traitorous Simmons Plan Number 11"!
      [Donut then shoots Grif]
      Grif: OW!
      Sarge: No! Number 11!
      Donut: Where the hell am I going to get a steamroller?!
    • Also Andy, the sentient bomb, which was built by Tex from parts of an old protocol droid and other of "her personal items".
    • In Chapter 7 of Recreation:
      Sarge: Alright, let's get going. Everybody packed?
      Caboose: Yep.
      Grif: [to Caboose] Where's your stuff?
      Caboose: Oh, I only carry a washcloth and six toothbrushes.
      Grif: I'm gonna assume that makes sense to you.
      Caboose: Yeah, it does.
      Grif: Yeah, I thought so. We'll just go ahead and leave that one alone.
  • Lampshaded and played straight in Apocalypse Lane, when there is an incident where they need to break into a safe. Lampshaded when Mickey drunk on a vodka martini so he thinks he's James Bond asks for yogurt... because it helps him think. Played straight in the next scene.
  • Stolas from Helluva Boss is infamous for his... intimate speeches to Blitzo being mostly bleeped out for comedy in spite of the show othwerwise not shying away from strong language or sexual references. The contents could be regarded as disturbing, even by Hell's standards, as Blitzo completely destroys his phone afterwards.
    Stolas: When I'm lonely, I become hungry... and when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red *** of yours! *** your *** and lick all of your *** before taking out your *** and *** with more teeth until you're screaming *** like a fucking baby!
    • While the above example from the first scene is veering into this trope (teeth what now?), the second time around (when Blitzo loses the phone so Stolas can go on for minutes uninterrupted) gets even more so when one of the unbleeped things getting through is Stolas relishingly saying "jelly sandwitches."
  • Homestar Runner:
    • The holiday cartoon "A Decemberween Pageant" has Homestar and friends putting on a play about the first Decemberween, with a few random scenes from the play. Apparently the holiday's origins involve a sailor named Archibald fighting a squid, the Santa-like Dr. Christmas hitting up the King of Town for a loan of "fifty bag of golds", a love affair between an angel and the Popular Vote, two Kobe Bryants, and a "moon computer".
    • The Strong Bad Email "pet show" couples this with Orphaned Punchline; The Cheat's answer to one of Strong Bad's test questions is "With a rusty fork and a guitar string."
    • The short "Best Caper Ever" featured the end result of a prank where Strong Bad and The Cheat stranded Homestar on a tiny ice floe in the Arctic Ocean. However, Strong Bad and The Cheat are both bugged because all they can remember is stealing Homestar's melonade and The Cheat whizzing in it, and thus they can't properly gloat about their success.
    • In episode 15 of Marzipan's Answering Machine, the Cheat (with translation by Strong Bad) attempts to make a prank call on Marzipan's answering machine, one that apparently involves epsom salt.
      Strong Bad: Epsom salt?! The Cheat, are you sure that's the direction you wanna go with this prank call?
  • PONY.MOV: In "PARTY.MOV", Spike lists increasingly improbable things that Pinkie Pie had sex with, from both men and women to small animals and bugs, and even snails.
    Spike: She fucked a snail. I watched her fuck a snail once. That sounds weird, right? Just hearing me say it? Imagine how weird it was to see it! She fucked! A snail!

    Web Videos 
  • The 1491s: When little Noah's auntie walks in to retrieve him from his weird uncle Dallas's advice session in "Man Talk," Dallas is interrupted mid-explanation of a bizarre set of instructions.
    Dallas: See, first thing you do is get some Miracle Whip-
    Auntie: Noah, are you in here?
    Dallas: [makes gesture of spreading it inside something] -and you have to put it-
    Auntie: [stares] What are you doing?
  • Channel Awesome:
  • The Nostalgia Chick review of Grease features a subplot of BFF Nella being forcibly given a makeover from the Makeover Fairy. Tools the Makeover Fairy uses in her attempts to beautify include an eggbeater, a hammer, a skull, a power drill, an iron (implied use on clothing not removed from her body, a sanding file, pliers...
  • In Bennett the Sage's Twitter account, several are referred to in relation to his upcoming review:
    Shit, I've got less than two weeks to shoot Bending for Bennett. Anyone know where I can get five otters on short notice?
    Alright, I've got the Otters, but the next procurement is gonna be a bit more challenging. Anyone know where they're keeping JFK's brain?
    So I've got the location pinned down for JFK's brain, and I'm getting a case of otters on its way. Now all I need is a woman....
  • When The Nostalgia Chick replies, suggesting he use a seal instead:
    I'm sorry, but have you ever tried to get a seal to lick hot cheese off your nips? I mean, besides that weekend in Aruba?
  • The assorted ways The Nostalgia Chick and MarzGurl were pleasured by Linkara, or so they tell him in "Linking Up With Linkara: the "Cincinnati Helicopter", the "Oklahoma City Taco Stand" "I don't know how he did to both of us at the same time..."
  • In The Nostalgia Critic's review of The Thief and the Cobbler, he asks the prerecorded voice of Vincent Price why the character he voiced, Zigzag, only spoke in rhymes. He tells him that he does not remember the reason. Or rather, all that he remembered is that it involved Rock Hudson and a banana cream pie.
  • In the Critic's review of A Christmas Story 2, Hyper Fangirl and Benny the assassin keep annoying the Critic by trying to make him enjoy Christmas again because of a misunderstanding. At one point he locks them in a room and this exchange happens:
    Hyper: How are we going to get out of here, Benny?
    Benny: Don't worry. All I need is a bobby pin. (she gives him one) And the Complete Works of Lewis Carroll. (she gives him that too)
  • CollegeHumor's Hardly Working began their third all nighter by giving one of the hired hands a long list of increasingly odd things to get. Examples include: 'this is a comedy show, we're going to need poo, vomit, fake poo, fake vomit, dog poo, dog vomit, fake dog poo, fake dog vomit, your poo...' later 'two words for you: Barack Obama ''Two more words: his poo!' I'm not sure what they're doing, but I want to see the next 11 videos.
  • Marble Hornets: What makes a trashed house, a featureless doll, a box of pills, a bloddied sink and a bag full of videotapes so terrifying? We don't know other than that The Slender Man is involved.
  • The Awkward Compilation: In the final scene of Awkward 6, Kevin fumbles a box and spills fruit and condoms all over the table. Some questions are better left unasked.
  • Mr TARDIS Reviews once wrote a letter to Michael Grade, the man who caused the 1985-86 hiatus of Doctor Who. It was narrated, but a Sound-Effect Bleep covered all but the following "Dear Michael Grade. Fu-" and the end "...with a Dalek sink plunger.
  • The opening montage of Project Million features the cast members packing their suitcases with some of these. Most of them only have one or two odd things, such as a baseball trophy, a giant dinosaur plush, far too many playing cards, and their cat. Robert's on the other hand contains noodle implements and nothing else. He packs a bra, a hard hat, a porcelain duck figurine, a cinderblock, a clown wig, candy canes, a Bedsheet Ladder, and a Renoir.
  • This spin-off to the popular Downfall Parody Meme begins with a Russian finishing a humourous anecdote that apparently involves a pineapple, a space station, John Mallory, and a Blu-ray copy of A Night to Remember.
  • The Music Video Show had this in the 210th episode
    "I see you're into kinky stuff. I see you have the rope but where's the bottle opener?"
  • Game Grumps: From one episode of Ten Minute Power Hour. The purpose of the first two items seems obvious, but then you throw the third one in there...
    Dan: Get me a stopwatch, a hooker and a bible!
  • Sanders Sides: The game of Patton-cake requires tuna fish, two tennis rackets, dipping someone's fingers in candle wax, and Virgil sulking in a corner.
  • Waldo The Movie: Used as a visual gag. While the camera pans over a variety of weapons that Waldo is readying, among them are a cartoonish scroll tied with a red bow and a bright green snorkel.


Video Example(s):

Alternative Title(s): Noodle Implement


Peter Censored By The FCC

In-universe, the family is being censored by the FCC, represented via a man blowing an air horn whenever anyone says something not fit for public TV. However, so much of Peter's dialogue gets censored that what's left makes zero sense to the audience given it lacks more than half of the context.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (9 votes)

Example of:

Main / JackhammeredConversation

Media sources: