Noodle Implements / Live-Action Films

• In Pulp Fiction, Marsellus Wallace tells Butch that he's going to call several of his men to "go to work" on his rapist Zed with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch, then proceeds to tell Zed (AKA Mr. Soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-short-ass-life-in-excruciating-pain) that he's going to "get medieval on his ass." ^note Removing the teeth with the pliers, burning the fingerprints off, leaving an untraceable body doesn't even begin to cover it. The pliers would be used to break small bones (such as fingers and toes) so they could be ripped off, then cauterized with the blowtorch, preventing the victim from bleeding to death. The same is true for ears, lips, noses, nipples, genitals, and anything else that could be ripped off a person with extreme prejudice. The 1970s film Charley Varrick is the source of Pulp Fiction's famous "pliers and a blowtorch" line.
• Flash Gordon (1980) has the infamous “bore worms”. Their purpose is never explained but considering that Princess Aura (normally Too Kinky to Torture) is terrified of them, it can be assumed that it was decidedly unpleasant.
• One scene in The Three Musketeers (1973) shows a group of torturers preparing to torture Monsieur Bonacieux in the Bastille, with the usual rack and branding irons and such, with a rather incongruous shot of a fist-sized potato being placed in a copper bowl near the end. What they were planning to do with it, God only knows.
• The MacGyver smoker from Half Baked, comes up with two different sets of implements for making a bong.
  MacGyver Friend: Hey, man, we're out of papers.
  MacGyver Smoker: All right. Then get me a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew and some tin foil.
  MacGyver Friend: We don't have a corkscrew.
  MacGyver Smoker: All right. Then get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel. Trust me, bro. I've made bongs with less. Hurry up!
• In the "Weird Al" Yankovic comedy UHF, one of the characters has a public access television show. "Hello, my name is Philo and welcome to...Secrets Of The Universe. Today we are going to learn how to make plutonium from common household items." The additional footage that was cut lists "an egg beater, a car battery and a bowl of strawberry Jell-O. Put these items in a microwave for twelve minutes at 8000 degrees, and leave your house for several hours."
• In a bootleg version of Revenge of the Sith, the dogfight dialogue appears to be about prostitution, a stolen piano, and a bath tub. It gets worse.
• In The Wrong Guy the main character is told its possible to kill someone with only two teabags and some wax paper. When attacked by the villain he waves these items around in the air since he has no idea how it's supposed to work.
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail: "Explain again how sheep bladders can be used to prevent earthquakes?" (at 0:09-14)
• In Little Man Tate, the first child prodigy guest on the talk show mentions that his experiment will involve lasers, sulfuric acid, and butterflies.
• John Spartan never does learn how to use those three seashells in Demolition Man. According to the director, two of the seashells were to be used together to pick up most of the crap, while the third was used to scrape away the rest.
• The Danish Olsen-banden (The Olsen Gang) movies are largely a subversion of this trope. All of Egon's plans involve a number of baroque requisites. The subversion comes when we actually get to see all those items being used for surprisingly coherent purposes. The same holds true for the Swedish remake Jönssonligan and the Norwegian remake, which includes six nappies, a violin, a crowbar and a machine gun.
• In the 2008 Get Smart movie, the nerdy scientist's angry coworker claims to know how to kill people several ways with any of the office supplies on their desk, including the post-it notes.
• Return of the Killer Tomatoes!, Tara, the tomato turned sex-slave turned independent woman apparently has a knack with, "a lawnchair, six milk bottles and a tuning fork."
• Four Rooms: Ted the Bellboy brings a bizarre laundry list to drunken entertainment moguls in the penthouse on New Year's Eve: "A block of wood. A doughnut. A ball of twine. Three nails. A club sandwich. A bucket of ice. And a hatchet as sharp as the devil himself." We learn the use of most of these, but the ball of twine and the nails are only to confuse the bellhop.
• In Shanghai Knights, Lin escapes from imprisonment in the Scotland Yard with several...interesting items.
  Lord Rathbone: Perhaps you could explain to me how Looney Lin managed to escape from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch of the most respected police force in the world.
  Doyle: Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. She picked the lock using a deck of rather risque playing cards. Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, and various pilfered undergarments. I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?
  Lord Rathbone: Does your incompetence know no bounds?
• In The Great Muppet Caper, scenes of the diamond thieves going over their list of thieving equipment are inter-cut with scenes of the Muppets going over THEIR list of equipment, which includes a whoopie cushion, rubber vomit, underpants, and a variety of other odds and ends.
• In Down by Law, the jailbreak plan.
• "What's New Pussycat?" - at a country hotel which is a popular rendezvous spot, the desk clerk on the phone calls out to her husband "The party in the 'Marquis de Sade' suite asks for a Boy Scout uniform and a dozen loaves of bread!"
• In Brazil, the torture tools seem regular, until you see the bouncing ball and the pacifier. Somewhat justified when the torturer turns out to be Sam's best friend Jack Lint, meaning that those two random objects presumably belong to his small daughter Holly, who was shown in an earlier scene to leave her toys around her dad's office.
• In Grosse Pointe Blank:
  MARTIN BLANK: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"
• Paycheck. Ben Affleck's character has had his memory erased after reverse-engineering a complex device. Rather than the huge sum of money he was promised for completing the job, he leaves himself a series of seemingly unrelated items — among these, a ring, a lighter, a key with a BMW logo on it, a digital wristwatch — each of which later ends up being useful. The device that he reverse engineered was a time viewer. Like a time machine, only you see the future instead of traveling to it. So he knew that he would be killed and figured out how to save himself, forfeiting the money so that he would pay attention to the gathered items, having worked out a plan to save himself by using each item at the right time.
• In Fight Club, when Tyler is interrupted having sex with Marla, he's wearing a heavy-duty rubber cleaning glove on one hand. Its purpose is never explained.
• From The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. As the group is running through the Banzai Institute after the Lectroids, New Jersey sees a watermelon in a metal press and asks what it's for. Reno just says, "I'll tell ya later." Explained later by Word of God: The Banzai Institute is developing ways of delivering food to famine-struck regions of the world by breeding a watermelon capable of being airdropped. Eggs are next.
• In Ocean's Twelve, when there's four of the twelve who are NOT in jail yet, they go over a list of popular heist schemes, one of which is called "Hell in a Handbasket", to which Linus replies "We... can't train a cat that quickly" (all previously-dismissed plans just suffered from the problem of not enough men, and in one case no women). Likely a throwback to a similar gag in the first movie, when they're trying to figure out how to blow the power in Vegas after their first plan becomes undermined.
  Danny: Well, we could always...
  Rusty: By tomorrow? No.
• Stripes and Bachelor Party both feature a gag about a common handheld egg beater being brought into play in the bedroom. A noodle kitchen implement?
• The Hangover features an entire room of noodle implements when the boys wake up in the morning, including a chicken, a flaming office chair, a baby, and a tiger. More are discovered throughout the day. Over the course of the film, the gang finds out how everything/everyone got into their room, but two things are never explicitly explained. Word of God says they were trying to feed the chicken to the tiger, but the chair never gets answered.
• In the movie Hexed, Claudia Christian breaks into the hero's apartment:
  Hexina: You and I are going to have so much fun! Think of all the great sex games we can play. Do you have mayonnaise and a rake?
• Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides has Captain Jack describe his scheme to release The Black Pearl from Blackbeard's bottle in the film's closing moments:
  Jack: We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us will have to learn to play the trumpet while the other one goes like this (waggles hands)
• In the Israeli Cult Classic Operation Grandma, there is a serious technical failure in a hospital; enter the team technical genius, saying calmly to the panicking, dumbfounded technicians, ‘Gimme a bottle of Sprite and a pair of scissors.’ He then proceeds to fix the problem off-screen.
• In The Dark Knight, amongst the various assorted knives found in The Joker's pockets is a potato peeler. Considering who we're dealing with, it's probably best not to try and imagine what he used it for. Even the guy going over what was there is confused.
• Parodied in Guardians of the Galaxy (2014). Rocket Racoon comes up with an elaborate plan to break the cast out of prison, for which he'll need several things including a prisoner's prosthetic leg. When Star Lord actually managed to bring it to him later on, he says he didn't need it after all, he just thought it would be funny.
• Paper Towns has the same examples as in the book it's based on but Mountain Dew is subbed out for Red Bull, which ends up playing this straight as it's never seen again unlike the Mountain Dew that gets consumed by Margo and Q at the end of the night.
• In The Princess Bride, the assault on the castle with brains, strength and steel is deemed hopeless without a wheelbarrow and a fireproof cloak. Averted, in that these items end up being used in a straightforward way.
• In Demon Knight, prostitute Cordelia is asking Jerryline where her clean sheets are, and then offhandedly comments on how hard is to get guacamole stains out.
• Hercules Returns. Ted and Muriel are looking for a new act for their nightclub.
  Ted: What about that exotic dancer? You know...she does that thing with the vacuum cleaner.
  Muriel: But she sucks.
  Ted: Yeah, that's the one!
  • Later Ted and Muriel blackmail Fanny into going along with their Zany Scheme by threatening to reveal "...what you like doing with hamsters, a wetsuit and a bathful of custard."
• Billy Madison:
  • The first and third ideas Billy has for Veronica Vaughn involve ice cubes and a golf club (9-iron for the first, pitching wedge for the third). The second calls for a buffalo, "either live or stuffed. Preferably stuffed, for safety's sake."
• Tomorrow Never Dies: A deleted scene had Bond meeting with Q in Germany, when Q presents Bond the car he'll be using on his mission, but accidentally opens a crate with a live jaguar inside, with Bond asking "Jaguar?" and Q answering "Wrong assignment." before properly presenting the car, which is a BMW 750iL.

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