Tonight, on Hasturpiece Theater...
Describe Candle Jack he is a very handsome guy. SO AM I! AS A HUMAN!
Stop hijacking my rightful place, Bill TO CALLER. Well, that was slow.
As you can see, speaking or merely typing the name of this Freakazoid! villain (voiced by Jeff Bennett) will result in the speaker being abducted by said villain. Thus sentences tend to abruptly end when Candle Jack's name is spokane, Washington is a lovely city.
This is going to be a busy day for me, isn't it? Hopefully not...
A notable villain in that he had very few appearances, but was so memorable that everyone remembers the one where everyone said "Candle Jack" and went offscreen for a couple of scenes.
You guys just aren't that bright, are you? Or are you just plain dumb?
For those of you who came here actually looking for information, not in-jokes, Candle Jack is a villain from the cartoon Freakazoid!. He looks a little bit like the Batman villain, the Scarecrow, or the Ben 10 alien Ghostfreak, a bit like Oogie Boogie, and kind of like the Pokémon Dusclops (or Darkrai). He's pretty creepy for a children's cartoon. He only showed up in two episodes; in the first he would kidnap and tie up anyone who said his name, much to the annoyance of the hero (and ultimately defeated by his love of pie), and in the second he spent the majority of the episode scaring Professor Jones. Memetic Mutation has popularized the Candle Jack abduction meme. Paula Abdul's very pretty, by the way.
In the original toons nobody got kidnapped in the middle of a sentence, but that's really the only way to make the joke funny in a written format. Though the general rule is that he's nice enough to hit Submit for you on the way out. And also spoiler mark it for you.
Might as well be polite.
Oddly enough, on GameFAQs, there seems to be a bit of Serious Business on whether Candle Jack deletes your signature or nEVER! I'm not that cruel.
I'm gonna need more rope.
Seriously, if you actually see someone complete their sentence after saying his name, it's a full six-pack in the drinking game. The only thing worse is when someone posts in a thread about him and disappears without ever having said his name.
24 months sober.
Are we almost done here? I have an appointment to keep.
Now somewhat of a Discredited Meme, as can be expected if everyone who says 'Candle Jack' disapWhoa, hey, not my fault.
This wave of abduction leads to an interesting question : Who clicked on the 'save' button to validate all those unfinished messages? ME! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! IT'S FUNNY HOW DUMB YOU ARE,CANDLE JACK! Thank you fellow villan!
- Candle Jack himself, of could conceivably go on forever if you guys don't learn, soon.
- Oh, that's very polite of him! Thank you, kind Candle Jack, that's very kind of you're welcome.
- This is getting ridiculous; I refuse to pretend that every time I say Candle Jack he cuts you off? Okay then!
- When are people going to learn that saying Candle Jack is asking for trolling coming your way? You're making my job easy.
- I still don't see what's so wrong about ending a sentence with Candle Jack. -Don't forget the full stop on the way out.
- You guys are all idiots! At this rate, Candle Jack is going to have to charter a bus? Good idea.
- I wonder what Candle Jack does to the tropers he kindly takes out for a drive? Why, we go for a nice brunch! I even pay for the little ones, too.
- Will I be okay if I refer to his name as a foreign one? Like Candle Jacque or something similar? No, that won't help.
- Okay, this is getting ridiculous. The cartoon this guy appeared in stopped airing years ago. I honestly don't think that Candle Jack is still ...I stand corrected.
- I'm out of rope. Good going.
- Alright, I think it's safe to say Candle Jack everybody. Nope.
- I think Ill be fine. Candlejack is probably in your house? Yeah, I see you on your phone! I was going to say on the other side of the woah, just remember that C A N D L E J A C K I S E V E R Y W H E R E
- Dear Mr. Jack, I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of an offer my company would like to make: Candle Jack Brand Rope.
- What if I end my sentence with Candle Jack nope.
- Im choosing guests for a wedding. And I guess Candlejack is invited? How sweet of you! Wheres my seat?
- You know what? This is ridiculous. There's no such thing as Candle Jack. See? I finished my sentence. You definitely had that coming to ya.
- I actually think he is a nice guy, he takes people to a nice tour around holding everyone tightly to him. Thanks Candle Jack no problem buddy.
- Oh come on, you really think I'd say Candle Jack- Son of a- Next word that comes out of your mouth better be gun. --bingo! But seriously, you had it coming.
- I can say it perfectly fine. Candle Jack. See that he's pretty handsome.
- This is killing me. Cabdle Jack could be right behind me. OOH! I typed "Cabdle" not Candle! Now he will never get me ever? Sorry poor fellow. Cabdle is close enough. You tropers are like lemmings. It- I escaped hi No you didn't.
- Guy seems nice. Hi, Jack Candle . Hi there, thanks.
- He is only a guy doing his job. Kinda silly but all in good fun. Light the Candle, Jack . Said candle is lit. You're welcome.
- Candle Jack-astonishing. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
- Oh, that's very polite of him! Thank you, kind Candle Jack, that's very kind of you're welcome.
Proving that even Candle Jack is scared of the Goddamn Batman that Bale guy has a gravelly voice!
- Guys, come on, seriously? Candle Jack doesn't exist. See? I finished the sentence and never should have done that.
- Candle Jack can't get me. I'm finishing this sentence riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight after this break.
- Candle Jack. Candle Jack? Damnit.
- Nope, finished this sentence right now. Candle Jack. Finish your feeble attempts to circumvent the Candle Jacking so I can go to bed. Wait, if I say my own Navarro is not an okay place to live. Huh, I think we might have gotten him beat! Just make Candle Jack say Can-openers make opening cans easier.
- Candle Jac- ALL GLORY TO THE what, a mind-altering frog or something?
- Can I think your name Mr. Jack? Sure buddy, go ahead.
- What if we called him Taperjohn? It basically means Candlejack, but we would almost get away with it.
- Right, Candle Jack, but they use bikes and go cross-country? I got this.
- Can't be summoned when I say Cndlejck. No A's make no difference, buddy.
- I'm not your buddy, guy.
- I'm not your guy, friend!
- I'm not your buddy, guy.
Hey Candle Jack? Is your birth name John Candle? Candle is my mother's maiden name. Try again.
CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK CANDLEJACK WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!? Thank you.
- !?!?!saedi of tuo nur reven elpoep uoy lliW-awkcab kcajeldnaC yas I fi tahw oS
- How about we just call him Mr. Jack?
- Or at least Candle?
Maybe to stop him, we should lock The Joker in a room with that Candle Jack wacky guy he is. He's a fun poker buddy.
At least we're safe from Candle Jack in The Stinger area.Actually not really. Darn it, I'm out of rope again.
>That does it, I'm calling Chuck Norris.
Forget Chuck Norris. Someone call Cosgrove. He'll point his finger at Candle Jack and tell him to Or, you know, you could just... stop typing my name. Seriously, people. ...or you could stop kidnapping people instead. Just saying. As if Cosgrove could actually stop me. Trust me, Freakazoid tried, it did not work. I think I still have them in my inventory.
It does makes me wonder, why does Candle Jack happen to take so many people along for a ride? I'm a nice guy, it's second nature to me. Now stop saying my name already, I have better stuff to do.
Will do, Candle...CRAP! I almost said Jack... oops. Nope. Not doing this shit anymore. You capture yourself. I'm going to the Bahamas.
Who would get me first? This guy, or Beetlejuice? Because if you say Beetlejuice three times, Beetlejuice will get you before Candlejack would? Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
Rejoice, friends and comrades! I present you with my new, patent-pending, CANDLE JACK REPELLENT!A repellent that works on me? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
Jack, no swiping! Jack, no swiping! Jack, no- You're too late! They'll never find you now! ...What, don't you watch the show enough? That actually happens every now and then.
I can't help but wonder: What would happen if Candlejack said his own name? Well, I can't kidnap myself, so nothing would happen. Candlejack! See? Now come with... Wait, did I just tie myself up?
I'm confused! How do you spell his name? Is it Candle Jack or Candlejack? Seriously? You're not even supposed to be saying it in the first place!
What is all of this stuff about Candle Jack? I don't even know who he is! Oh, hey. I'm out of rope. Do you have some? Oh, me? Sure! Here you go! Don't spend ithank you very much.
Hey Candle Jack, you look like you could use a hug. Thanks, I needed that. It's been a long day.
Heh heh heh. Candle Jack will never find me all the way down heYou wanna bet, buddy?
I wonder... If I pothole his name... what happens to the further potholes? and is it a working loophafraid not, my friend.
And what about "C....e J..k", huh? Will I get kidY.s
I work in a tech support and I've just received a complaint from a certain Jack Candle! Is it safe for me they never stop falling for this one.
One clever a was that, admit I'll but, too him kidnapped I but, that tried Warp Thymespe Warp Thyme that way the in name Jack's Candle speak I if what.
Candle Jack? What is that, an amalgam of HThat's not for you to know.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS! GOTCHA Bye. It's close enough for me. He's a good guy. Don't hug him for more than five seconds, though.
Wait, how did they cast Candle Jack if Candle Jack would just kidnap all his voice act It's called a casting couch.
Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack jumped over The candlestill expecting some kind of immunity to fire, I guess. I won't complain, he was so busy treating the burns he didn't even notice me.
So does this mean that all our Tropers are belong to Candle Jack?@#$, that meme went out of style years ago. I don't want to hear it again.
How about if I say Candle Jane? Does that bring up any rule 63 applies to me too, so yes.
Candle Jacking off a dEXCUSE ME!?
I like the new TV Tropes layout. Candle Jack, WHOOPS, what do you thit's alright, could be better, could be worse.
So, if a common crook jacks a candle truck, does that stop me? Nah, it's just a stunt to let me rope you all in.
TOP O THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS CANDLEJACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME TO PHOTOBOOTH!
- Uh. Hey Candle Jack, can you kidnap the guy above me for might wanna consider that I don't take requests.
Has no one guessed yet that you should just stop saying his name? What do you think, Candle Jack? I agree. Seriously, I've run out of rope multiple times on this page alone.
Does he have a wife named Jill? Nope, still single.
Wait, if he can only hear people say his name, why does typing Candle Jack make honestly, just roll with it.
Iway etbay ifway eway aysay Andlecay Ackjay inway Igpay Atinlay, aybemay ehay on'tway Orrysay, onay iceday.
Hey Candle Jackoff, what's your opinion on LazyTowhttp://air-ride-adventures.wikia.com/wiki/Air_Ride_Adventures_Wiki
Hey Candle Jack? HERE'S A LITTLE LESSON IN NOPE! Not today.
Y'know what'd be awesome? Getting Trope-tan to come on over and fight the guy this very page is about. We oughta give her Idiot Ball to the aforementioned guy. Fight of the year, no question.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUdge and macaroni sounds tasty.
Ya know what? I'm going to start a charity. It will go towards buying Candle Jack more rope? Aww, thanks, that's so nice of you! Especially since everyone here's an idiot.
What if we called Candle Jack something like Lantern Johnno way. At this rate you're just toying with me. Good thing I have tons of rope from that charity.
Jxbv, jrrg qhzv! L'p xvlqj Fdhvdu Flskhuv! Wklv zloo vxuhob shuvxdgh Fdqgoh Mdfn wr nlgqds pruh shrsoh? Vxuh, zkb qrw, hyhubrqh hovh lv lq rq lw, dssduhqwob.
- Translation: Guys, good news! I'm using Caesar Ciphers! This will surely persuade Candle Jack to kidnap more people? Sure, why not, everyone else is in on it, apparently.
What would happen if Bill Cipher said "Candle Jack?" He did it nearby this location.43.8041° N, 120.5542° W BROKE OUT OF HIS ROPE AND TOOK CANDLE JACK OUT of spoilers.
- This...is unbelievable! I feel so good every time I look at this page. Especially after today's exceptionally horrible happenings. I can't believe you guys (whoever you are) let Bill Cipher hijack and share this page just for little old me!note
- Signed, a person going through a very hard period of life and facing the possibility of actual clinical depression.note You made me feel better.
- Now where was I? Oh, yes. So apparently Bill was .3 miles away from the Central Oregon Highway when he last said "Candle Jack"? No, it's the exact center of Oregon. Love, Jumbled Desert (the guy who thought this up after watching every Bill episode of Gravity Falls).
What if I just hide in the spoilers? Candle Jack will never find me hidden in plain spoilers are mine. Copyright.
— .- -.— -... . / .. -. / — —- .-. ... . / -.-. —- -.. . / -.-. .- -. -.. .-.. . / .—- .- -.-. -.- / -.-. .- -. .——. --.-. .- - -.-. .... / .- / -... .-. . .- -.- ..—.. / -.— . .- .... —..— / —- -.- .-.-.-
- Translation: Maybe in morse code Candle Jack can't catch a break? Yeah, ok.
CAN't you just put the house on JACKS? You are so DULL. I hate this guy
[da da DA da DA DADAAAAAAA...] Whoosssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ Well, if it isn't-
- What? I was just gonna say-
- Don't say it!
- Don't say what?
- Don't say his name!
- You mean, don't say Candle Jack? Some things never change.
- Freakazoid, why did you say his name?
- 'Cause I-I wanted to do one of those funny things like, hey ever watch F Troop where Agarn says "There's no way I'm wearin' a dress, absolutely not! No dress!" and Forrest Tucker's like "Yeah your wearin' that dress! Your gonna wear that dress!" and then they wipe blblblbl! and Agarn's wearing a dress. Oh, I love that bit. That's why I let him finish.
Bill: HEY GUYS HOW'S IT GOIN'?!
- Am I safe? I guess s nope.
- I wonder if I'd be safer if I said it in Japanese... *shrugs* Koko ni wa nani mo ikimasen... note Kyandorujakku... *looks around* Well, Īe, sō wa omowanai... note note
- Jung vs V hfr EBG13? Jvyy Pnaqyr Wnpx fgvyy xvqanLrf.
Translation: What if I use ROT13? Will Candle Jack still kidnaYes.
- Okay... Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to use romanji... Maybe if I used katakana, It wouldn't happen again... *shrugs* それはショットの価値がある... note 蝋燭ジャック... note *looks around* I guess no ばかみたい... note note
- What if I say Jandlecack? NO! My weakness! Now I have to kidnap you before they show up!
- Heh, Candle Jack is such a bad idea of a name! Why not Ropeman? I'll be honest with you: my parents never loved me. That's why I do what I do: to have friends. Maybe. I forgot exactly WHY I do this...
- I wonder if Ulyssesnote could say Candle Jack without consequenNope.
- I've been kidnapped by murderers. If I say his name, will Candle Jack rescue me? No. In fact, I think I'll kidnap the murderers too.
- Hey guys, I have a friend named Dill. He goes on and on about how he can steal anything, but my bike is locked up inside my garage. What do you think? Can Dill jack my biProbably.
- If I taught a parrot how to say Mr Candle Jackson's name, would it tie up the parrot? Yes. And you too. No exceptions.
And even if Ol' Jackie tried to kidnap me for asking that, at least I have my loaded shotgun to scareI stole the shells too.
- I bet that Candle Jack is so handsome under that hood that if he appeared in broad daylight, he'd be surrounded by Bishie Spare me from this nonsense.
- You'll never catch me, Candlejack! Not when I shift into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! HIYA!!!!!! You should've gotten the turbo charge.
- Is it true that Candlejack forces you to watch a new TV show of Sinbad? Nope. I draw the line at Sinbad. Never again.
- How about I just tie HIM up first before Candlejack ties up me? Not fast enough, senór.
- Fine. Candlejack, tie me up.
- ...nothing? What, am I not good enoughad to get more rope. You people, honestly.
- Hey, Candlejack, tell me your weakn No.
- Surely typing the name Candlejack isn't the same as saying his name out loud, right? Nope.
- What if someone Candle Jack couldnt move, like the Great Deku Tree, were to seriously, you all need to stop! And to answer your question, Id probably tie him up where he is, then uproot him. Dont know where Id get enough rope, though.
- Well, sucks to be you guys, at least I'm smart enough not to say his now let's be honest, you were going to say it eventually.
- Huh, where's the fresh meat? Popo's training starts in five minutes. This Candle Jack guy must not be Welp, that's my cue. Is there a problem maggot? What? OH GOD OH FUCK! I'm sorry, Master, I didn't recognize you! Then I'd take these ropes off if I were you. There's still room in the F*ckbox you see. Don't worry sir, I haven't forgotten the pecking order. That's a good maggot, Candle Jack. Just make sorry sir, but you know the rules. Sighs (cue long distance shot of the trope subject hurtling thousands of feet to the ground below) Enjoy the climb back up, bitch.
- Cursed idea: CandleJacksfilms. Me me big really, I'm flattered, but I don't have time for that silly video sharing site of yours.
- I wonder if getting Cadillac's name wrong out of spite would cause Cardiac to kidnap me. Perhaps Cognac is waiting for people to say "Cyrax" and butchering it enough times would cause Ginger Snap to break his rules out of frustration? No, but you're pushing it.
- He can't get me if I say his name in a really pretentious, Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness manner, right? Ignitable Wick Embedded in Wax Jacobus! You did say my name.
C_NDL_ J_CK I'd like to buy a vowel.
- Does Jack have any association to Candle Cove? That show never existed and you know it.
- JACK be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack Flash sat on the CANDLEstick, Because, fire is the Devil's only friend...
- I wonder what will happen if I mention ●●|●●●●●|●●|● and Candle Jack in one sente Wow, he didn't even get to finish his sentence, and I didn't do anything here! I was beaten to the punch! And I don't know why, but I can't even find or sense him anywhere! It's like he's gone for good! Speaking of, I censored that name because computers all over the world were getting stolen, and not even I'm evil enough to let that happen.
- Aut Jacobus Candelae, aut Johannes Candelae. Hmm. Nescio.
- I believe Candle Jack drives a Van in Bland, but with lots of space for abductees like you.
- Don't put a picture of a candlestick and an automobile jack alongside of it. Doing so makes the reader say the words out loud, and... ... Oh, Crap!
- (Gets snatched away with eveyone else.)