A website that features film scripts of movies that are rewritten in a mocking manner for comedic effect. It was founded in 1998 and is still going strong to this day, now featuring several regular authors.
- The Abridged Series: The scripts are essentially an abridged series for movies.
- Accentuate the Negative: The scripts mock and nitpick films, regardless of the script writer's personal rating. Rod's scripts are the most negative of the lot, usually containing outright insults and turning each minor detail into a major plothole.
- Actor Allusion: Actors will make fun of each other by referencing each others' past roles.
JOHN DIMAGGIOBOT: Yes I play a robot with attitude. No they never get me to say Bite my shiny metal ass. OPPORTUNITY FUCKING MISSED.
- Taken Up to Eleven in Superman Returns, where James Marsden is just called Cyclops.
- The scripts will also usually frequently lampshade opportunities where they could have, but didn't, make an allusion. For example, in Transformers: Age of Extinction...
- In Mad Max: Fury Road Riley Keough is introduced saying "A thank ya, thank ya very much." and Zoe Kravitz later says "Don't hurt me Hugh, I'm only here so that Riley isn't the only descendant of a famous musician to appear in this film."
- Subverted in Kingsman: The Golden Circle; Pedro Pascal ends his Drugs Are Bad speech by stating that the author found an opportunity for a Narcos reference, but since he never watched that show, he literally drew a blank instead. Pedro asks any Narcos-loving readers to fill it in themselves.
- Aluminum Christmas Trees: The site's...err, script (and that's being generous) for "Gooby", the only one on the entire site not to have a star rating, is so nonsensical and nightmarish, you'd assume the whole thing is just a bizarre joke, right? Wrong. "Gooby" is actually a real film.
- Anthropomorphic Personification: Physics is a character in the The Fast and the Furious series, Rape Culture makes a cameo in Straw Dogs, and Awkward Silence has a predictably silent appearance in Mud. The Stinger of Superman: The Movie has Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Astronomy emerge from hiding to talk about how the movie violated them all.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
- In the script for Big Trouble in Little China.Kurt Russell: What the fuck is even going on? Ghost samurai? China Town mafia wars? Kim Cattrall?
- When riffing on Deadpool's hideous post-mutation face:T.J. Miller: You look like melted Ken doll. You look like Darth Vader without his helmet on. You look like Playgirl Magazines Radiation Ghoul of the Month. You look like a Cabbage Patch doll that someone microwaved. You look like a veiny cock with a face drawn on it. You look like a cantaloupe with mange. Your eyes are too close together.
- In the script for Big Trouble in Little China.
- Artistic License Physics: In-work. Fast Five plays so fast and loose with the laws of physics that eventually, the Laws of Physics walk off the set. In the sixth movie, it hangs itself!
- Ascended Fanboy: The unaffiliated website Playthroughline is an acknowledged attempt to be The Editing Room but for video games. Joannes, the creator of Playthroughline, has since become one of the official Editing Room authors.
- Audience Surrogate: Elliot Page in Inception.
- Author Appeal: Editing Room author Alex W. is a big fan of tabletop games, and tries to incorporate gaming references into as many of his scripts as possible - either sly hidden references, or references as extensive as the one at the end of the script for The Belko Experiment.Computer Voice: End of final round. Phase one complete, commence phase two. If Victory Points or colonists are depleted, or one player's board is full, this is the final phase. Commence bureaucracy and restock raw materials, reset the power plant market. Advance the time marker. If time units depleted read end of mission card (out of time). Replace any purchased hero cards. Travelers leave the inn in reverse order of their arrival. Spend income to move population dice into your cup. Oh shit we have no ending for this joke, this will go on forever, destruct, destruct (world explodes)
- Author Avatar: In the Titanic (1997) script, Leonardo DiCaprio's character is repeatedly accused of being one.James Cameron: Get on with the story about me! I mean.... the story about "Jack Dawson". Ahem.
- Author Tract: In some scripts, it's lampshaded when the director or writer of the movie got a little carried away.
- In Zero Dark Thirty:Tony Soprano: Whoah, I recognise a Strong Female Character when I see one. Give this woman whatever she wants, for she has struggled against all the odds to gain respect as a lone woman in a traditionally male-dominated workplace. Right on, sister!Director Kathryn Bigelow: Mmmm.... shallow self-validation tastes so sweet.
- And the scripts themselves might have this from time to time.
- In Zero Dark Thirty:
- Award Snub: Invoked in one of the Academy's most infamous examples, Shakespeare in Love.Geoffrey Rush: Ive need of a play, Joseph! A crowd-tickler, a romcom with literary pretensions! One so airy and light that it could steal acclaim from more deserving productions, like Saving Private Ryan
- Bad "Bad Acting": Jet Li in The Expendables 2: "Oh no I'm, also out OF ammo".
- Bait-and-Switch Comparison:
- In the script for The Tree of Life, Hunter McCracken's brother complains of how the profusion of dutch angles which was mocked in Battlefield Earth is acclaimed here. Hunter replies, "But that film wasn't Art", and is countered with "True, but the difference is one of them is so bad it's excruciatingly painful and strangely manages to have a blind following, which in turn makes you question the sanity of the director, and the other has John Travolta hamming it up."
- The photo for the Skyfall script shows Daniel Craig and the Aston Martin DB5 with the caption, "Everyone's favourite James Bond star is back! Oh, and Daniel Craig too. MISDIRECT!"
- The photo for The Da Vinci Code script, featuring Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou posing in front of a painting, uses a similar gag caption. "A famous lifeless caricature... standing next to a painting! ZING!"
- The script for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opens with this:
- Bat Deduction:
- Berserk Button: In Moana, Auli'i Cravalho convinces Dwayne Johnson to help her by claiming that John Cena already agreed to assist otherwise, as part of a running gag about Dwayne's hatred for Cena.
- The Big Damn Kiss: Deconstructed at the end of Wrath of the Titans, where the girl is less-than-pleased, and shoots down "I'm the hero! That means I get to make out with you!" by remembering that in the first movie, he went for another woman, "Who was dead, mind you! Girls don't just forget shit like that, Sam!"
- Big "NO!": In Avengers: Infinity War, Ant-Man and the Wasp, and Avengers: Endgame, nearly everyone who loses someone dearnote because of Josh Swollen's plan exclaims this.
- Blah, Blah, Blah:
- Dennis Quaid speaks almost entirely in this in The Day After Tomorrow. "Bla bla bullshit science weather bla bla global blah ice caps blah devastation!"
- In the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe script.Tilda Swinton: Hold it right there! Skandar is a traitor, and something something ancient magic means you have to give him to me!
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: An epic one in Fright Night, in which "ANTON KILLS THE FUCK OUT OF COLIN with FIRE, WOODEN STAKES, GARLIC, SUNLIGHT, SILVER CROSSES, HOLY WATER, GARLIC STAKES, HOLY WOOD, FIRE CROSSES, SUNGARLIC, and GARCROSSTAKEWATERLIGHTVER BULLETS, ALL AT ONCE!"
- Brick Joke:
- In the script for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the opening scene has Mark Strong getting shot in Budapest and saying, "At least I'll die with classic British stoicism, though, not while running around frantically like some Yankee 'Mission Impossible' asshole". A week later, the script for Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol had Josh Holloway getting shot in Budapest and saying, "At least I got one cool action sequence in, though, and didn't just get plugged while standing around like some limey 'Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy' chump".
- In the script for Godzilla (2014), a Lieutenant on a military train going through a forested area spots another train and says, "Look at those Mutant Corps idiots, transporting their meticulously non-metal robots inside a metal train on top of metal tracks. Good luck with THAT, assholes! KAIJU CORPS FOREVER!". One week later, the script for X-Men: Days of Future Past had another Lieutenant on another military train going through a forested area spot a train and say, "Look at those Kaiju Corps idiots, transporting their nuclear weapon directly towards radiation-consuming beasts on their non-maneuverable train through dense, monster-concealing forest. Good luck with THAT, assholes! MUTANT CORPS FOREVER!"
- Nicolas Cage cameos in the script for Jonah Hex, despite not being in the movie, in order to pay his taxes. This comes up again when he appears in the script for X-Men: First Class.
- In the script for Maximum Overdrive, the characters are wondering why none of the cars went evil when Matthew McConaughey appears out of nowhere (driving a Lincoln, of course) to say he took the evil-car energy for himself, and then vanishes with no further explanation. Two days later the script for The Dark Tower has Matthew announce he needs to go "recharge his energies", which requires that he "go back"; he vanishes into another (unspecified) dimension, and returns. In each case his dialogue quotes heavily from his Lincoln commercials.
- In the script for Predator, Shane Black (playing a minor character) makes a note regarding women sharing scenes with Predators. In the script for The Predator, Shane Black - now the director - mentions the note, but has forgotten what it was about.
- Broke the Rating Scale: So far, the script called "Gooby" is the only one on the entire site to not receive a star rating, and there's a very good reason for that.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: The authors have demonstrated a lot of in depth knowledge of various religions and cultures.
- Camera Abuse:
- Celebrity Paradox: Discussed when Stan Lee's cameo in Captain Marvel (2019) is of him rehearsing his cameo in Mallrats, "thus opening up AN INFINITE RECURSIVE LOOP OF NESTED REALITIES where every Marvel Universe has a real Stan Lee with another Marvel Universe inside".
- Chekhov's Skill: Subverted Trope in the script for Chaos Walking (2021).TOM HOLLAND and his DOG make their way through the ALIEN FOREST. Suddenly TOM throws his KNIFE and spears an ALIEN BUG THING on a tree!
TOM HOLLAND: It's important to establish my proficient knife-throwing skills early, since they'll be so vital to the plot later.
(absolutely nothing at any point hinges on your ability to throw a knife)
TOM HOLLAND: Shit.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Samuel L. Jackson's, Chloë Grace Moretz's, and Bradley Cooper's dialogues are peppered with curse words. Some of Hugh Jackman's lines in Logan consist only of the F-word, taking advantage of the movie's status as Wolverine's first R-rated film.
- Chronically Killed Actor: The Trope Codifier references it in the script for Jupiter Ascending.Sean Bean: Woah, I'm still a good guy AND still alive!? This movie really IS crazy!!
- Content Warnings: The script for Alpha has a comical one in the Alt Text:The script you are about to enjoy was written by an author who is weeks away from getting a puppy, and may include scenes of cooing, squeeing, and gushy language. Reader discretion is advised.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Lampshaded in the script for The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
- Dawson Casting: The script for Nerve opens right away with "TWENTY-FIVE-YEAR-OLD EMMA ROBERTS is hanging out with her best friend TWENTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD EMILY MEADE after HIGH SCHOOL, which they ATTEND, as STUDENTS."
- Deadpan Snarker: All the writers, and subsequently all the characters as they deploy a Deconstructor Fleet of dialogue.
- Delusion Conclusion: Lampshaded In-universe with the script for Pan.Lewis MacDougall: "Hey look, this mysterious statue has a hidden switch which opens a trap door to a secret cellar full of candy, meats and - pirate gold? Huh, I guess Kathys been selling orphans to magic pirate slavers from another world on the sly.Levi Miller: The FUCK? Well that was an abrupt fucking leap from general nastiness to cartoonish supervillainy.Lewis MacDougall: Hey, were doing this during a bombing, you KNOW thousands of internet fora are going to leap right into the Levi got blown up and the rest of the movie was a dying dream theory. Might as well keep 'em happy by choosing this exact moment for the movie to go completely bonkers.
- Discontinuity Nod: In the Ghostbusters (2016) script, each attempt a cast member makes to acknowledge an older Ghostbusters team receives either a Suspiciously Specific Denial or an interruption from Melissa McCarthy.
- Double Standard: The script for the Errol Morris documentary The B Side: Elsa Dorfman's Portrait Photography notes how the MPAA applies a different standard to a film that contains non-sexual nuditynote and violent action movies.Elsa Dorfman: This movie of you and me talking about Polaroids and shit for 80 minutes is rated R. But Superman gruesomely murdering people with heat vision is PG-13??Errol Morris: Apparently.
Elsa Dorfman: Society is fucked up.
- Downer Ending: Lampshaded in the Winter's Bone script:John Hawkes: Yeah, this ending is getting a little too happy. This is an Indie movie, your options are bittersweet or fucking miserable.
- Dull Surprise: January Jones. Other less than expressive actors will usually be compared to her.
- Eldritch Abomination: The Gooby script reimagines the titular character as one, which makes it less horrifying.
- Even the Girls Want Her: In the Ghostbusters (2016) script:
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: In the script for Lockout:Peter Stormare: Since he's only agreed to do this for his own selfish reasons, I imagine he'll take the pod himself and leave Maggie to die horribly, as per our plan, oh wait we wanted the opposite to happen AW FUCKITY SHIT
- Also quite common when the Genre Savvy characters note the script has put all the tropes in place for them to die.
- Eye Scream: Captain Marvel (2019) subverts this in almost all of Samuel L. Jackson's scenes, in which he performs a task that could poke an eye out, but somehow completes it with both eyes intact. He finally suffers this after Goose sheds a cat hair into his eye.
- Face Palm:
- In The Mummy Returns, John Hannah references this trope twice to react to the film's implausible story. First:Shaun Parkes: You laugh now, but if we just so happen to be chased by a 200 foot wall of water with some guy's face in it, this [dirigible] will manage to keep us inexplicably unharmed!
John Hannah: I say, old chaps, is it possible to give yourself a concussion from face-palming too hard?
Director Stephen Sommers: Okay, I know you're all mad at me for wasting the budget on pygmy mummies and sand-jackal armies, but what was I supposed to do? Reserve CGI for scenes deemed essential to a smooth and flowing plot and then focus on creating a dignified main villain?
- Later, when the film's director shows up to make excuses:
John Hannah: Damn, old boy, are you trying to give everyone face-palm concussions?
- The script for Tenet provides another example.Aaron Taylor-Johnson: So. We have The Algorithm, the potentially history-destroying superweapon. I think we all know what the correct course of action is.
John David Washington: Smash it into a million-
Aaron Taylor-Johnson: Let's split it three ways and keep it, of course!
John David Washington: (palmfaces)
- In The Mummy Returns, John Hannah references this trope twice to react to the film's implausible story. First:
- Fake-Out Fade-Out: Each script ends with a line declaring "END.", except sometimes a script will feature an additional snippet of action or dialogue afterwards. The script for The Return of the King ends four times.
- Fanon Discontinuity: If you create a movie where a child ends up badly, expect the editors to rewrite that ending with extreme prejudice.
- The end of Aliens, where "RIPLEY and NEWT and HICKS and BISHOP go into CRYO-SLEEP and return SAFELY TO EARTH and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER and I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE FUCKING SAYS THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS, THE END."
- Similarly, the actual film Pet Sematary (2019) ends with the strong implication that a little boy is about to be killed by his zombified family. In the Editing Room version, the character notes that the event isn't actually shown, then takes advantage of this to give the zombies a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown while yelling that "THIS MOVIE IS DEPRESSING ENOUGH ALREADY YOU FUCKS". The boy then escapes and "is adopted by a RICH AND LOVING FAMILY and grows up to CURE CANCER, win the SUPER BOWL and become PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. END."
- Filk Song:
- Freud Was Right: Moana refers to Dwayne Johnson's struggles at using his magic fishhook again as "magical impotence".
- Freudian Slippery Slope: From the script for Oblivion (2013):Tom Cruise: But the bullshittiness of my situation doesn't trouble me half as much as my mysterious dreams of Olga Kurylenko. There's just something about her I can't quite put my dick into. Er, finger into. ON. Dammit.
- Genre Savvy: The cast in the scripts tend to be aware of the genre they're in and will state the role they fill in the movie. Such as in Independence Day:JEFF GOLDBLUM'S EX-WIFE: Excuse me sir, but aliens have surrounded the planet. I would use my own name above my lines except I really have no other plot function.
- George Lucas Altered Version: In a way. The original script for The Mummy (1999), released at the same time as the movie, was replaced in 2020 with one that actually recaps the whole movie - while keeping a few of Rod's original lines to the point he is still a co-author.
- Gilligan Cut: Frequently. Like, for example, in the Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure script:Billy the Kid: Are we really claiming that the most feared gunslinger in all the land had to be rescued by a pair of dopey highschoolers?
ALEX WINTER: Hey, how else were we going to justify your coming along? Were we just going to have you randomly agree to come with us for seemingly no reason?
EXT. CLASSICAL GREECE
SOCRATES randomly agrees to come with them for seemingly no reason.
- Glorious Mother Russia: Almost the entire script for Red Sparrow is written in stereotypical Russian Bad Guy style (the exception being American characters or locations), such as: "JENNIFER'S LEG smoosh like BORSCHT and career is NYET now. This begin origin story of RED SPARROW."
- Hard Truth Aesop: In The Princess and the Frog:Script: What's more, Anika gets the restaurant after all, by threatening the real estate agents with her alligator friend.Anika Noni Rose: Well, that's a fine message to be sending to the kids: idealism and hard work is fine and all, but money and muscle win every time.(pause)Anika Noni Rose: Wait a minute, that's actually an EXCELLENT lesson. Holy shit, I think Disney accidentally made their best movie ever!
- Hotter and Sexier: Immortals lampshades the hell out of this.
- Hulk Speak:
- Frequently used to play up a character's idiocy, especially if the character wasn't intended to be stupid in the film, such as Alexander Ludwig in The Hunger Games ("Grr, can't tree climb! Need kill Jennifer!") and Henry Cavill in Immortals ("Henry go fight Mickey. Mickey bad. Henry good.").
- The phrase "(Character name) smash!" is used when a character brutishly beats on someone. For example, in The Bourne Ultimatum, Matt Damon says, "Since I can't outsmart you, I'll revert to being a brainless brute that beats the shit out of you like a fucking caveman. MATT DAMON SMASH!"
- Hurricane of Puns: Once Captain Marvel (2019) beats down a whole squad, a Call-Back to the Nine Inch Nails shirt she wore earlier leads to their catalogue being dropped ("Now who wants a HEAD LIKE A HOLE?!? Oh sorry did that HURT? Do you WISH you weren't getting FIST FUCKED, you BIG MAN WITH A GUN?").
- Hypocritical Humor:
- Acknowledged in the Scary Movie script.Cheri Oteri: I mean, what the fuck is the point of making a parody of a movie that was itself originally a parody?Abridged Script Author Rod: Good point. Fuck this thing.
- Abe Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is made fun of for being against slavery, but using slaves to transport silver bullets to Gettysburg on short notice.
- In We Bought a Zoo, Matt Damon tells the kids to deal with the death of their mom in a healthy, mature, non-zoo related way. Then he acts impulsive and irresponsible for the rest of the script.
- Acknowledged in the Scary Movie script.
- In Name Only: The title card for Frankenstein (1910) notes that the film is "a liberal adaptation from Mrs. Shelley's famous story." The script adds that "And by 'liberal', we mean in the sense that Hot Tub Time Machine is a liberal adaptation of The Iliad".
- Insane Troll Logic: How Robert Langdon's methods of finding each element location is depicted in Angels & Demons. Subverted for the water element:Ayelet Zurer: Wait let me try one. Okay, so this guy was chained up... chains are often used for construction work... the fourth cardinal is at a construction site!Tom Hanks: What? Don't be stupid. The fourth element is water, so he's in a fountain.
- Ironic Echo: Jeremy Renner delivers the first line in the Avengers: Endgame script, the customary Big "NO!" reaction to the Snap. He proceeds to tell the viewers that this means Endgame will have a lot more Hawkeye than Avengers: Infinity War did, eliciting a Big "NO!" from them.
- Jail Bake: The usage is made fun of in the Men in Black 3 script.
- Last-Second Word Swap: Used in the Harry Potter scripts, when the audience finds out that Emma Watson is still a minor.
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (when she appears at the Yule Ball):Audience: Holy shit, get a load of the—
Emma Watson: Not seventeen until next year.
Audience: —the purity and innocence of this young child.
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:Audience: You eighteen yet? I'd really like for you to come over here and ride my—
Emma Watson: Next movie.
Audience: -my magical broomstick! Oh what a fantastic world of innocent whimsy! Tra-la-la!
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (when she appears at the Yule Ball):
- Let Us Never Speak of This Again!: The script for The Mummy Returns includes a variation.
- The Long List:
- In the script for W.:Elizabeth Banks: Jesus, what's this movie supposed to be about if it's going to skip over the 2000 election, September 11th, the warrantless wiretapping scandal, the attorney firings, the Valerie Plame scandal, hurricane Katrina, Terry Schiavo, Supreme Court justices Roberts and Alito, allegations of voter suppression in 2004, social security privatization, Alberto Gonzales, Harriet Miers, Porter Goss, the PATRIOT act, Jack Abramoff, the gay marriage amendment proposal, Jeff Gannon, the Abu Ghraib scandal, and Cheney shooting his friend in the face?
- The end of the script for Avengers: Age of Ultron:Josh Brolin: Mwa-ha-ha, I am Thanos and my movie doesn't come out until 2018. Will you be able to see the payoff to all of these stupid teases, or will superhero fatigue set in after the releases of Ant-Man, Fantastic Four, Deadpool, Batman 5 Superman, Captain America 3 aka Avengers 2.5, X-Men: Apocalypse, Suicide Squad with Marilyn Manson as The Joker, Gambit starring Magic Mike, Doctor Strange (2016) starring Khan, Wolverine 3, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Wonder Woman maybe, Spider-Man reboot reboot, Fantastic Four 2 yes really, Thor 3, Justice League, and the Flash movie that isn't affiliated with the TV show? You're all doomed! DOOOOOMED!note .
- In the script for W.:
- Made of Plasticine: The goons in Hobo with a Shotgun.Gregory Smith: FUCK YOU! For asking that, I will snap your arm like a twig around the joystick, because in this town nothing is as frail or flimsy as the human body! NOTHING! Hell, I broke my jaw against a stiff breeze this morning!
- Magical Negro: Almost mentioned by nme in the Soul script.
- Major Injury Underreaction: In the script for Dredd, a bad guy gets his hand blown off and his immediate response is to say, "I'll never play piano again".
- McGuffin: The Arknet Shield—er, "McGuf-Net" from Men in Black 3.
- Merchandise-Driven: The main source of the jokes in the script for Pokémon.
- Mineral MacGuffin: Called "Macguffium" in the Avatar script and "Plotresolvium" in Chronicle.
- Missing Mom: Milked for all it's worth in We Bought a Zoo.
- Morality Chain: A Discussed Trope in the script for Sorry to Bother You, when Tessa Thompson describes herself as Lakeith Stanfield's "morality barometer girlfriend".Tessa Thompson: You know, that thing where the characters girlfriend breaks up with him whenever he gets to be too much of a jerk, and gets back together with him when he turns good again?Lakeith Stanfield: Oh right, because we dont trust audiences to follow even the simplest of character arcs and instead have you explicitly state whether Im being an asshole or not.
- Mr. Exposition: In the Zack Snyder's Justice League script, the usage of Joe Morton's Silas Stone as this is highlighted by having all his dialogue be URLs to Wikipedia pages.
- Mundane Solution: In the script of Back to the Future Part II, Michael J. Fox points out that there are several ways of stopping someone from commiting a crime that don't require time travel.Michael J Fox: Wouldnt it have made more sense to knock Michael Jr out so he cant commit the crime? Whats stopping Grandson Thomas from bullying him into doing something else?
- Musical Episode: Several musicals' scripts have the dialogue entirely in verse, or share parody lyrics for the songs. The "Frozen Fever" script even has stage directions written in verse.
- Musicalis Interruptus: Beauty and the Beast (2017) and Aladdin (2019) have the actors cut off their own parodies of the songs written especially for those movies, under the assumption that readers can't remember the melodies offhand.
- Name McAdjective: Variations on this trope are sometimes used for characters played by nonfamous actors.
- In Battleship one of the crewmen is Ginger McPale.
- Taken to eleven in the script for The Thing (2011), where the cast includes Douchemann P. Sciencesen, Sven-Eric Genericsson, Bossmann B. Bosserssen, Ladyparts Q. Femalesberg, Lief-Olaf Uselesson, Ole-Sven Thingbaitsen, and Erik-Lief Interchangeablessen, with Pilot T. Prequelsson arriving at the end to tie things to the original movie.
- Negated Moment of Awesome: Tom Hardy expresses constant frustration in the Mad Max: Fury Road abridged script with how many of his feats become this, due to him becoming overpowered by War Boys, or outshone by Charlize Theron. One of them actually becomes negated by occurring offscreen.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!:
- Lampshaded with Pleasantville:Tobey Maguire: So we've taken this group of people that, for the most part, used to be very happy with their 50's lives... and lscrewed them up, making them head toward lifestyles like our 90's, which the beginning of the movie established as being difficult, hard, and painfully upsetting...Reese Witherspoon: Yes, but we've also made them free.Tobey Maguire: Free of something they otherwise didn't know was not free. Haven't we really just done more harm than good? Didn't someone once say "Ignorance is bliss"? These people didn't ASK for their lives to be altered, they were happy.
- Lampshaded with Pleasantville:
- No Fourth Wall: The script is aware that the work is fiction, with actors dissing the movie they're in, directors arguing with the actors, and even the audience is sometimes given lines.
- No Indoor Voice: The script for Aladdin complains a lot about how loud Gilbert Gottfried's Iago is.
- no punctuation is funnier:
- Michael Bay is always presented as SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT ANY PUNCTUATION MAYBE AN EXCLAMATION MARK AT THE END OF A SENTENCE BUT SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THAT
- Meanwhile, in the X-Men: First Class script, January Jones does the same thing in lower case.Kevin Bacon: Her ability is to suck all life out of any line of dialogue.January Jones: also i read minds and turn to diamond
- Nostalgia Filter:
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer:
- Frequently a script will point out the absurdity of a piece of dialogue by quoting it word-for-word along with the notation, "actual line". Most prevalent in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, with such "actual lines" as "He's a monkey dancing on a razor blade" and "I know it sounds like Star Wars, but this is your chance to be Captain America!".
- A much more blatant form in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.Shia Labeouf:: Alright, I'll revive Cullenbot after I take a quick trip to robot heaven and talk to some Transformer ghosts.Megan Fox: What's sad is that anyone reading this Abridged Script that hasn't seen the movie will just think that's some kind of weird joke they don't get. It's not. That description is brain-meltingly accurate.
- From the script of Goosebumps:Jack Black: It's not a Goosebumps story unless the protagonist secretly turns out to be something else. Like a squirrel, a stray dog, a bird, an orangutan, a ghost, a vampire, a robot, a man-eating monster, an alien spy, an alien colonist, a comic book character, a blob monster, a basement-dwelling monster, or a time-traveling European princess.
Jack Black: Those were all real Goosebumps twists. I'm serious. Look them up.
- Split combines it with Postmodernism once the Mandatory Twist Ending (it's a Stealth Sequel to Unbreakable) kicks in:Anya Taylor-Joy: (pause) Okay wait, seriously? This isn't some abridged-script bullshit we're throwing in to be absurdist and zany? This is legit?
Bruce Willis: Yup, this is one hundred percent really happening!
- Oh, Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us!: From the end of the Zootopia script:CGI Bunnifer Goodwin: Disneys put out a movie about racial tolerance where interracial couples are absolutely off the table.
- Once Upon a Time: Quite a few scripts use this phrase. To name only a few examples:
- Pan's Labyrinth:
- Moana:CGI Rachel House: Once upon a time, the great Demigod of the Wind and Sky, Shapeshifter, Hero of Men, Peoples Champion, and 10-time WWE titleholder Dwayne Johnson got bored and decided to steal an Infinity Stone from the Earth Mother. Unfortunately, this was stupid. A lava monster happened, and now were all going to die.
- One Steve Limit: Steve Jobs, has Michael Fassbender, true to the title character, complaining about Michael Stuhlbarg sharing a name with him and forcing the script to rename him.
- Orwellian Retcon:
- The scripts for both Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger included jokes about how The Avengers was an inevitable train wreck. After The Avengers came out to overwhelmingly positive notices (and was liked by Rod himself), the earlier scripts were adjusted to change the "inevitability" of it being terrible to the, at the time, "likelihood".
- Similarly, the ratings for the Star Wars prequels were higher upon release (particularly Revenge of the Sith, which went from 4.5 to 3), but were changed laternote .
- Painting the Medium: In The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:Taraji P. Henson: This is one of God's children, so I must take care of him.Mahershalalhashbaz Ali: One of God's freaky, hideous, unwanted children.Taraji P. Henson: Now shush up you - holy shit is that really your name? Mahershalalhashbaz?Mahershalalashbaz Ali: Yeah. It's from The Bible.Taraji P. Henson: It looks like the writer of this Abridged Script tried to type something with his dick.
- Parody Name: The Alt Text for the movie's picture usually makes one for the movie title. One is straight out of the movie itself: Argo Fuck Yourself. Here are some of the exceptions:
- Gooby has "IF YOU VALUE YOUR SOUL READ NO FURTHER" as its Alt Text.
- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter simply asks "Was the actual title not enough of a joke?".
- The Hateful Eight has the alt title "Reservoir Dogs 2"
- Then there's Ex Machina, which reads "It's pronounced 'makina' and that's the end of it."
- After We Collided earns the Take That! alternate "Two Million Wattpad Readers CAN Be Wrong".
- Person as Verb:
- Perverse Sexual Lust: Implied by this scene in American Pie 2:Shannon Elizabeth: Hey, I earned that second billing. Have you seen me doing interviews on television, acting like the script gave my character actual depth? I'm the best actor in this fucking movie!
Jason Biggs: Fair enough, but I must go find my true geek love, Alyson Hannigan. I'm sure you'll find your geek someday. Perhaps you should pursue webmasters who run sites that feature abridged scripts.
- Plot Hole: The scripts are more than happy to point out every plot hole in their movies.
- Poe's Law: Referenced in the script for Hanna:Jason Flemyng: Yes, we'll be driving this (hippie) stereotype right into the realm of parody. But I challenge anyone to tell the difference between hippies and a parody of hippies.
- Poke the Poodle: Disguised as a Chew-Out Fake-Out in Minority Report:Peter Stormare: (sleazily) Certainly. FIRST, I will drug you up, rendering you helpless. THEN, I will reveal that I have an old grudge against you, and revenge has been percolating in my sleazy heart for years. And THEN... I will do exactly what you want. (beat) BUT... I will also trick you into eating a bite of moldy food! THIS... STORMARE.... VOWS!!!
- Posthumous Character: The ghost of Walt Disney appears at the end of the script for Antz.
- Product Placement: The script will often point it out whenever it is particularly blatant.
- From The Book of Eli:Denzel Washington: We have to make it flagrantly clear that I'm from the before times, in case the audience couldn't figure that out from from the trailer. Or from empirical observation. Or just a wild fucking guess. Now please charge my Apple iPod made by Apple. Apple: Think Different.
- From The Terminator:MICHAEL BIEHN: Damnit! I can't escape without some overpriced kicks! Preferably ones with a Velcro strap!
NIKE INC: Here Michael, why don't you try on this pair of Nike Vandals? Nike, Just Do It.
MICHAEL steals the NIKES and ESCAPES, STYLISHLY.
- From The Book of Eli:
- Punny Name:
- Zootopia adds to the actors' names the animals they are voicing (Bunnifer Goodwin/Bunny Hunt, Idris Elbuffalo, Jason Batefox, Jenny Unguslatenote , Maurice LaShrew, JK Lions).
- Starting with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, MCU Abridged Scripts rechristen some of the cast members based on their characters, such as Zoe Saladana, Dave Bluetista, Mecharen Gillan, Pom Klemontieff, Michael Rooster, Bradley Raccooper, and Vin Triesel.
- Alita: Battle Angel has Rosa Eyelazar, Jackie Earle Hulky and Ed Skrein-Borg.
- Us renames the actors when they play their characters' doppelgängers, such as Repeata Nyong'o and Twinston Duplicate.
- Reed Richards Is Useless: Both Ant-Man and Doctor Strange (2016) note that the heroes' powers could greatly improve the world with applied uses. There's even this lampshading:Michael Douglas: I didn't invent this shrinking formula just so it could fall into the wrong hands. Or any hands for that matter. Science must never advance and everything should stay the same!
- Retirony: Lampshaded in the script of Skyfall.Ralph Fiennes: And since you fucked up, we're giving you two days until retirement.
Judi Dench: Two days until retirement? Wouldn't it be easier to hang banners saying "HEY GUYS, JUDI DENCH GETS KILLED OFF IN THIS MOVIE"?
Ralph Fiennes: Fine. Two months, then.
- Rule of Three: In Vice, Christian Bale's pauses are followed by "(pauses)([another verb])([concluding verb])"
- Running Gag:
- In the Winter's Bone script, every setting is described as bleak, up to the point that one scene is described as "INT. BLEAK SHERIFF STATION, BLEAKITY BLEAK BLEAK"
- Samuel L. Jackson is listed as SAMUEL L MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON in every script he appears in.
- Except in the script for Jurassic Park, where he's called "chainsmoking", because he didn't become MOTHERFUCKING until, at least, Pulp Fiction.
- The Hateful Eight changes "Motherfucking" for a variety of adjectives, culminating in SAMUEL L. OKAY-I'VE-RUN-OUT JACKSON.
- In Big Game where Samuel is uncharacteristically playing a frail, weak President, he's called things like SAMUEL L. AMEDUCK JACKSON and SAMUEL L. ILYLIVERED JACKSON until he finally regains his power near the end... but due to the film's PG-rating becomes SAMUEL L. MOTHER-KABLAMMO JACKSON.
- In Captain Marvel (2019), only the last time earns a "MOTHERFUCKING", with most being SAMUEL L. DOUBLE-PUPIL JACKSON and such given it's the first time Nick Fury is seen before needing an eyepatch (and another Running Gag is Fury doing dangerous stuff that could take an eye out, given the Foregone Conclusion), along with "SAMUEL L. KITTY-LOVIN' JACKSON" for his interactions with the cat Goose.
- In the Harry Potter scripts, the male audience impatiently waiting for Emma Watson to turn eighteen.
- The script for The Raid Redemption has both the scene headings, which use umpteen different ways of describing "a filthy hallway", and Andi and Mad Dog trying to figure out which of them is Andi and which is Mad Dog.
- In Skyfall Judi Dench keeps insisting she can only summon a swarm of helicopters if it's halfway through the movie, which is why she can't solve problems near the beginning or end with a swarm of helicopters.
- Any comic book movie abridged script will usually include the line "how unlike (different comic book movie)".
- In the script for The Dark Knight Rises, Joseph Gordon-Levitt continuously lampshades how nobody is allowed to mention The Joker.
- The script of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy does a good job of reminding us that a lot of the movie consists of nothing but staring.
- January Jones is used as the basis for comparison when an actor is particularly bland.
- The Avengers (1998) has all the dialogue with no punctuation and ending in tea
- San Dimas Time: The Men in Black 3 script points out that most Race Against the Clock plots with time machines can be foiled by just going back in time again. Several characters from time travel works then realize they should have done this.
- Script Fic: The screenplays are this combined with The Abridged Series.
- Secret Secret-Keeper: After Us reveals Lupita Nyong'o's protagonist as a Tethered, Evan Alex boasts, "Mom, I figured that shit out way back when you were snapping on the off-beat."
- While satirizing the film's frequent Expospeak, the script for Dune (1984) takes a jab at the site itself.Francesca Annis: You know, this may [be] the only abridged script where the mock dialogue is no more blunt and stilted than the actual dialogue.
- Parody writer Lachlan R. throws some shade on himself in his Power Rangers (2017) script.RJ Cyler: I'm also on the autism spectrum, which means I can't understand jokes.
Darce Montgomery: What? No it doesn't! The author of this script is on the spectrum and I assure you... (looks through Lachlan R's other scripts) ...oh. You might have a point there.
- Jess M. continues the tradition in her script for Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again.
- While satirizing the film's frequent Expospeak, the script for Dune (1984) takes a jab at the site itself.
- Serial Numbers Filed Off:
- The Hangover are used in the sequel, but with words scratched out and replaced with new ones. In-work. The original scene descriptions for
- Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter discover they're reading off the script for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street in Dark Shadows, with the descriptions and motivations working for both movies.
- The Dune script references an Old Spice commercial when talking about spice.
- Dark Shadows references the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup slogan at the end.
- From Batman (1989):MICHAEL remote controls the Batmobile inside and uses its MACHINE GUNS to GENOCIDE a metric shitload of JOKER GOONS. Then he murders any survivors by BOMBING THE ENTIRE FUCKING BUILDING!Joker Nicholson: Hey wait I thought Batman doesnt use guns or kill? How does this not make you a terrorist?
- Sex and the City 2 is set in Abu Dhabi, so the script alludes to Garfield and Friends:Your rooms are upstairs, you will find they include a complementary small gray kitten. Our country has been getting one in the mail about every week for 32 years.
- In the script for Frankenstein (1910), Dr. Frankenstein discovers that skulls are "the essence of creation". He then declares that "I've discovered how to create life, by the power of a grey skull!"
- In Alita: Battle Angel, Mahershala Ali is "MARSHAMARSHAMARSHA ALI".
- In The Mummy Returns, Shaun Parkes has to explain what a dirigible is to Brendan Fraser.Shaun Parkes: It's like a Zeppelin only more idiotic! You've never heard of it?
Brendan Fraser: Oh yeah, sure. In fact, maybe we should all start a band and call it Led Dirigible!
- Shrouded in Myth: Mocked in Hercules (2014).JOSEPH FIENNES: Dont you remember me from a two-minute flashback a while ago? Im the king of Tyrins, I sent you on the lame-ass non-magical missions that got twisted by hearsay into your twelve labors. Like, the hydra was just a bunch of fighters in snake masks, that sort of thing.
- Slap-Slap-Kiss: Lampshaded in This Means War (2012).
- Song Parody: Independence Day: Resurgence has this with Hamilton tracks. And The Meg has a few Disney tunes for some reason ("NOOOO... ONEEEE... BITES LIKE THE MEG, CHASES LIGHTS LIKE THE MEG, NO-ONE TAKES YOUR FILM TO PULPY HEIGHTS LIKE THE MEG!").
- Re-written lyrics are to be expected in recaps of musicals and James Bond movies.
- Special Effect Failure: Several scripts call their respective movies out on this, such as the one for X-Men Origins: Wolverine.HUGH JACKMAN: I can't believe this.JONATHAN KENT: What, that you survived having your skeleton coated in indestructible metal?HUGH JACKMAN: No, that my computer-generated claws somehow look even less real in this movie than they did in a movie that came out nine fucking years ago.
- Spin-Off: A fan has started a similar site which does the same thing for videogames at Playthroughline.
- And now that fan has gone full circle and contributed a couple of scripts to The Editing Room as well.
- Spiritual Successor: To the movie parodies in MAD, and also Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all other forms of MSTing.
- Spoofed with Their Own Words: It will sometimes include actual lines of dialogue or describe a scene that actually happened in the movie, usually including (actual line of dialogue) or THIS HAPPENS.
- Spot of Tea: Every line of dialogue in The Avengers (1998) concerns tea, either literally or figuratively.
- Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: The last song in the Moana script, sung by Auli'i Cravalho, ends like so:
- Sure, Let's Go with That: In the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, this is Henry Sturges' response when Abraham Lincoln asks him if beating him up in a dark room was supposed to teach him how to fight invisible vampires.
- Superdickery: Discussed when Captain Marvel goes into the scene where Carol punches an old lady, leading to the response "Oh c'mon, like the marketing people would really fuck me over like that?"
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: From the script for Gravity:George Clooney: So, what's this gizmo you built that's so important you skipped years of astronaut training and psychological assessment?
Sandra Bullock: Oh, just your run-of-the-mill scientific, ethical, purely legal top-secret thingie that has TONS of non-military applications that don't destabilize governments in any way. It's certainly nothing that would make the Russians want to kill us, while making it look like an accident, so as to avoid a declaration of war! Ha, ha ha.
- Take That!: Guess.
- Take That, Audience!:
- Combined with Self-Deprecation in the Kick-Ass script. One character makes fun of Ron Paul supporters, then later makes a joke the only thing stupider than abandoning the Deconstructive Parody premise of the story was making fun of Ron Paul supporters on a website that allows comments.
- Liam Hemsworth's character in The Hunger Games makes the then-popular internet complaint about how the plot was a rip-off of Battle Royale only to have another character make fun of him for only complaining about it when the film was released instead of when the books came out four years earlier.
- The Watchmen script was one giant takedown of Alan Moore's legions of fanboys nitpicking everything about the script, as well as Alan Moore's opinions of film.
- The Beauty and the Beast script spends most of the plot subtly putting down the remake before delivering a big slap in the face to the people who paid to see what they consider a cut-and-paste job.
- Talkative Loon: Crispin Glover in Alice in Wonderland (2010)."The completely naked extra terrestrial helplessly hypnotized the diseased hog entrails."
- This Loser Is You: In the script for The Princess and the Frog.Jennifer Cody: Aw shucks, it's okay, you can marry Anika!! It's so ROMANTIC!! Princesses and weddin's, true love and happy endin's, rainbows and unicorns, EEEEE!!
Frog Bruno Campos: Oh man, I just realized - you're the target demographic for this movie, aren't you?
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: The photo caption from the V for Vendetta script has V saying "Did you know that my hair is also bulletproof? Garnier Fructis, bitch."
- Thou Shalt Not Kill: The Dark Knight Rises points out how Batman defies this code (twice) while Man of Steel includes Superman pointing out the hypocrisy of being criticized for this after Superman II.
- Title Drop: The scripts will sometimes point out when the movie awkwardly tries to squeeze in the title, such as Gary Oldman's closing monologue in The Dark Knight or Robert Downey Jr.'s Shut Up, Hannibal! in The Avengers (2012).
- [Trope Name]: Stock characters in the script will bluntly state their role in the movie.
- Unfortunate Implications: Invoked in at least two scripts.
- From Clash of the Titans (2010):Sam Worthington: Let's all try to ignore the fact that the only character in this movie inspired by Arabian rather than Greco-Roman mythology just became the film's only suicide bomber.
- From Pandorum:Antje Trau: Hallelujah! Although 40% of the characters were minorities, only a blonde man and German woman survived! Sieg heil zee German director!
- From Clash of the Titans (2010):
- War Is Hell: The Saving Private Ryan script makes sure to turn this into a Running Gag.
- Waxing Lyrical:
- The Dark Knight Rises, regarding the ignored villain of the predecessor: "I dare not speak his name, but he's a smoker and a midnight toker getting his lovin' on the run"
- Divergent has one with "I'm Too Sexy":THEO and SHAILENE are suddenly on a 50-story high CATWALK, yeah, on a CATWALK, yeah, they shake their little tush up on the CATWALK.
- As part of an Actor Allusion, Men in Black 3 has Jermaine the Conchord introducing himself with "Looking 'round the jail... I can tell that you... are the most stupidest guard in the jail." (NICOLE SCHERZINGER: "In the whole wide jail.")
- Fifty Shades of Grey has the title character summing up his love of BDSM saying "I like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane".
- Who's on First?:
- The site (usually) calls characters by the actor's name. Then Doctor Strange (2016) has two Benedicts, one of whom plays a character named after his surname. A whole dialogue exploiting this trope ensues.
- Mission: Impossible Fallout has confusion ensue between Rebecca Ferguson and Tom Cruise over two different definitions of "MI6" — she means the Secret Intelligence Service, but he mistakes it for an unofficial alternate title for Fallout, the sixth Mission: Impossible movie. After Rebecca angrily clarifies herself, Tom responds by declaring that he finally gets the aforementioned Doctor Strange joke.
- A Wizard Did It: Every time something or someone makes little sense or does more than it logically should, it is described as "magical".
- Wolverine Publicity: The trope-namer's cameo in X-Men: First Class is milked for all it's worth.
- Worthy Opponent: In Captain America: Civil War, Chadwick Boseman calls Daniel Bruhl "a Marvel movie villain that doesn't utterly suck donkeyballs", and intervenes with Bruhl's suicide in hopes of keeping him alive long enough to appear in another movie.
- Writer on Board: In Star Trek Beyond, Scotty having action scenes and spending time with the Green-Skinned Space Babe du jour is considered this.