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Bait-and-Switch Comparison

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"The rich kid becomes a junkie, the poor kid an advertiser.
What a tragic waste of potential...And being a junkie's not so good, either.
"
TISM, "Greg! The Stop Sign!"

A Bait and Switch Comparison is often used to deliver a Take That! The basic setup of the joke is to make a comparison between two things and imply that certain properties are associated with one thing, then assign them to the other. It goes something like this: "What's the difference between X and Y? One's X-like... and the other's X." The insult can be aimed at either entity, depending on whether "X-like" is positive or negative with regards to Y. Often overlaps with Insult to Rocks.

Related to My Friends... and Zoidberg, in terms of messing with the mental categorization of items based on their description. When there's no question of which entity is being insulted but the target assumes it's someone else, that's Insult Misfire. Compare Well, This Is Not That Trope. A subtrope of Bait-and-Switch, obviously.


Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • In this ad for the Dodge Ram from the early 2000s, two guys in an old muscle car pull up at a traffic light next to a man driving a Ram Heavy Duty pickup truck towing a classic Dodge Charger. They ask the Ram driver if "that thing got a Hemi?", and he replies in the affirmative. The guys in the muscle car start revving their engine, only for the Ram's driver, with his truck's 345 horsepower, 5.7 liter Hemi Magnum engine, to smoke the muscle car when the light turns green. The muscle car's bewildered drivers again pull up to the Ram at the next light and simply stare at the truck, causing the Ram driver to ask them, "did you mean the Charger? 'Cause you know, that's got a Hemi too."

    Comic Books 
  • Batman: In the Novelization of Batman: No Man's Land, Greg Rucka has one go through the Joker's head referring to Harvey Dent/Two-Face, describing how Harvey had been hit with acid that made one half of his face completely repulsive to look at. One half of his face has wispy white hair and is blistered and discolored in a permanent angry scowl, and the repulsive half is Harvey's untouched side.
    "Frankly, it made Joker's bowels rumble."
  • A picture going around, around the time of Civil War (2006), featuring a fight between Iron Man and Doctor Doom, summed it thus: "One is a fascist with a twisted code of honor in a suit of armor. The other is Doctor Doom."
  • Irredeemable: Modeus has managed to obtain the comatose Scylla. While thinking about Charybdis (now called Survivor) and Scylla, he notes, "[O]ne is a brain-dead moron. The other stands before me."
  • Fantastic Four: Human Torch, Invisible Woman, and The Thing are fighting a horrifying monster. The following exchange occurs:
    Human Torch: It's horrible! Make it invisible! Make it invisible!
    Invisible Woman: Then how's Ben supposed to hit it?
    Human Torch: I was talking about Ben.
    Thing: Why you little... wait, that was a good one.
  • Marvel Westerns: In Marvel Westerns: Two-Gun Kid, while fighting a group of villainous werewolves, Two-Gun needs to discern between which ones are humans turned into wolves and which ones are the regular wolves so he doesn't shoot an innocent creature. This is easy to do, because as he puts it, "one's got the look of an ornery, bloodthirsty animal, and the other's a wolf".
  • Sam & Max: Freelance Police: The series uses this gag in the "On the Road" story arc.
    Sam: Don't you love stopping for breakfast when you're on the road? I do... and so does my hairy little friend. And Max does, too.
  • Star Wars: Princess Leia: Leia says the following gem in issue #1:
    Leia: You heard the general. There's much to be done. Let's see how much of it involves a hairy beast and his copilot.
    Han: Hey, he's [referring to Chewbacca] the copilot.
    Leia: I know.
  • Top 10: Used as a comeback by Alex "Spaceman" Glushko (a telepathic cop) against Larry "Frenzy" Fischmann (a Shark Man and lawyer):
    Glushko: That's pretty rich coming from a predatory species that hasn't evolved in millions of years.
    Fischmann: Of course we've evolved! That is one of the many uninformed misconceptions people have about sharks.
    Glushko: I wasn't talking about sharks.

    Facebook Postings 
  • One meme had a picture of Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott next to one of Joffrey from Game of Thrones pointing out that one of them was an evil, out-of-touch, elitist dictator — and the other was a TV actor.
  • In response to an article saying that residents of Boston would rather have a real life version of Jurassic Park than the 2024 Olympics:
    "One involves people arrogantly unleashing an ancient power onto a world unprepared for it and creating chaos in its wake while the other involves dinosaurs."
  • The "Being Liberal" Facebook page featured an article about President Donald Trump threatening North Korea with nuclear war, and North Korea responding that they were ready for war with the USA, with the caption "Our thoughts and prayers tonight are with everyone dealing with a narcissistic, mentally unstable leader, putting their country in grave danger. And North Korea, too."
  • There's a meme that shows an American $1 bill next to a Monopoly $1 bill. The caption reads, "One has been fought over, destroyed homes, and torn families apart. The other is American currency."

    Fan Fiction 
  • In The Lord of the Rings fanfic Nine Men and a Little Lady, a Parody Sue has inserted herself into the Fellowship, and the journey is told entirely through journal entries by other characters remarking on her presence (and expressing considerable concern over things like her variable hair and eye color and constantly-changing backstory). Galadriel makes an entry when they leave Lothlórien:
    Today, the Fellowship moves on. A great evil passes from my domain, and a vast dank shadow lifts from the hearts of my people.
    Oh, and the One Ring is leaving, too.
  • Kingdom Hearts: The Short and Honest Version:
    They arrive at HALLOWEEN TOWN, which looks similar Camden, New Jersey. The only difference is that one is a terrifying land made up of nightmares and horrors beyond imagination, and the other is HALLOWEEN TOWN.
  • In Swinging Pendulum:
    [Ichigo] knew from experience that Rangiku was harder to deter than a bulldozer... Then again, that might not be a good comparison. After all, he could cut a bulldozer in half with one swing of his sword.
  • This Bites!, a One Piece fic, as they row away from Laboon:
    Usopp: Seriously! Is this thing so big that it didn't notice a freaking cannon firing into it or is it just slow!?
    Cross: I think it's more the former than the latter! After all, from my experience? The intelligence of animals can seriously surprise you at times!
    Soundbite: REPRESENT!
    Cross: After all, you'd expect a snail that can speak [Soundbite] to have at least half a braincell...
    Soundbite: OI!
  • Powers of Invisibility has this gem from Master Fu, after Juleka agrees to wield the Turtle Miraculous to save her friends from an Akuma attack in progress at the Louvre: "Now that that's out of the way, let's get started. We have a damsel to save. And Marinette and Rose." (By process of elimination, "Damsel" is referring to Adrien.)
  • In Chrysalis Visits The Hague, Queen Chrysalis makes one in order to rile up Twilight Sparkle,
    "You see, that was a metaphor.” She explained on, “I have nothing against bugs. There are differences between them and [ponies]. One is a mindless, parasitic kind that infests what does not belong to them and spreads its disgusting, poisonous essence all over to make it their own. And the others... are bugs."
  • Flight of the Raven:
    Lee: We have a treat. Headmaster Snape is allowing Professor [Raven] Rowan-ash to fly... with a hippogriff!
    Snape: Allowing? Spoilt brat would pout... and Raven would join him.
  • In Just Bearable fourteen-year-old Harry is pregnant due to being raped by his uncle.
    McGonagall: What did the midwife say?
    Snape: The child looks to be in reasonable health for now. And the baby too.
  • Like a Brother:
    Ron hated being an auror, he hated the people he had to deal with, the filth and scum of the wizarding world, the absolute worst sorts of human beings to ever carry a wand. They were hateful, spite-filled bastards who looked down their noses at him and sneered, seeing him as just "Potter's lapdog"; they were the kind of people who all but laughed in his face and outright called him a pathetic, worthless, incompetent hanger-on.

    And the dark wizards weren't very pleasant, either.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Airplane II: The Sequel:
    Controller #3: Get me Steve McCroskey!
    Controller #2: Are you kidding? Ever since Reagan fired the air traffic controllers, he's been completely senile!
    Controller #3: Yeah, but what about McCroskey?
    Controller #2: About the same as Reagan.
  • Batman (1989): The Joker, after kidnapping Vicki Vale: "As though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out."
  • In Casanova, Francesca Bruni sets a trap for Casanova by inserting a line in a Bernardo Guardi pamphlet about how a pig is the best pet for a man who actually respects women. When Casanova promptly shows up at Francesca's house with a pig, the maid meets him at the door, and says: "My mistress says the pig may not come in. The animal, however, she'll take." She takes the pig and slams the door.
  • On the poster of Clifford:
    "What's the difference between Clifford and a pit bull? One will tear your heart out, scare your friends, and wreck your house. The other one is a dog."
  • Scary Movie 4 has a scene where Brenda (in the middle of an alien invasion) shows Cindy a video of what Detroit looks like. It's on fire, there are sounds of screaming, random gunfire, explosions... And then she shows what Detroit looks like now, revealing the only thing different was that there were Alien Tripods in there.
  • Ernest Goes to Jail: A rare self-deprecating example. After being threatened to remain quiet about the switch with his Evil Twin, Ernest replies: "Real men are not intimidated by physical threats against their personal selves, and, ironically, neither am I."
  • Snatched (2017) starts off with opening text accompanied by sinister music.
    "In the Spring of 2017 two American women were abducted fifty kilometers outside Puerto Cayo, Ecuador. What followed was a tale of violence, mayhem, and a reckless disregard for human life. The kidnappers did bad stuff, too."

    Jokes 
  • There's an amusing poster showing Alan Moore side by side with Rasputin. One is a terrifying mystic, etc., etc., etc. The other, of course, is Rasputin.
  • A common joke variant:
  • Two men get stuck in a snowstorm in the mountains. As they await their rescue, one man sees a St. Bernard with a barrel hanging from its neck coming towards them. He nudges his companion and says, "Look, a man's best friend." "Yeah, and look what a big dog brought it."
  • One from several years ago (although you could substitute your politician of choice and make it current): "What's the difference between Lord Voldemort and George Bush? One's an entitled tyrannical dictator bent on taking over the world — and the other's a fictional character."
  • Attributed to Groucho Marx: "I like books. I like Little Women. In fact, I like them better than books."
  • "Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other person is a husband."
  • A woman is lying in bed when her husband enters the room carrying a sheep under his arm.
    Man: This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.
    Woman: That's a sheep, idiot.
    Man: I wasn't talking to you.
  • A fairly popular one in joke websites: The Pope needed to reach a church to attend an important religious celebration, but he was late. He scolded the limousine's driver for not traveling fast enough, so they hastily switched positions. The speed the Pope was driving with broke the speedometer of a cop who was watching over a road, so the cop stopped them. But when he saw who was driving, and was told by that driver that he was in a hurry and there was no time to lose, the cop obediently spared them and let them continue the trip. A fellow policeman who was driving nearby saw the whole thing and asked his colleague:
    Policeman #2: Why did you let them go unpunished?
    Policeman #1: Because an extraordinarily, unprecedentedly and super-legendarily important man was in that vehicle. And he was in a hurry!
    Policeman #2: Who?
    Policeman #1: No idea, but let this sink in: THE CHAUFFEUR WAS THE POPE!!
  • In August 2012, preparations were being made for the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, just as Hurricane Isaac was forecast to hit the area. One joke that went viral was "A storm is headed for Tampa that threatens to leave families suffering, the poor searching for help, and lives destroyed. And then there's Isaac."
  • "What's the difference between IBM and Jurassic Park? One of them is filled with massive, lumbering behemoths irrelevant to the modern age, and the other one is a movie."note  That particular joke lost a lot of its sting after their machine Watson rather soundly crushed the two all-time biggest Jeopardy! winners in the show's history.
  • What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.
  • John Rogers once said on his blog, "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
  • What's the difference between Wyoming and Mordor? One is a vast, merciless wasteland in the shadow of a giant volcano, where the locals walk around armed to the teeth... and the other is full of orcs.
  • Russian Humour: "Throughout its history, Russia has had two main problems: road infrastructure and incompetent idiots. Now, one of those can be easily fixed with a steamroller, but the roads situation is a lot trickier..."

    Literature 
  • Discworld:
    • The Discworld Companion's entry on the Fools' Guild sets up a particularly long version where the Assassins' and Fools' guilds are described, with one being depicted as a dark, wretched place of misery and disrepute and the other as a well-respected institution attended by engaged students who are rather popular at parties, with the caveat that the Fools' Guild is the first and the Assassins' the second.
    • In Unseen Academicals Glenda uses a variant, saying that football is "like war, but without the kindness and consideration!"
    • In Men at Arms, there's a joke in Ankh-Morpork that goes "The trolls live next to the cattleyard? What about the stench? Oh, the cattle don't mind..." (The narrator points out that this joke doesn't actually make sense; trolls, being living rocks, have no real odor to mammals.)
    • Guards! Guards! has a group hunters discussing the costs of their trade, and one brings up "wear and tear on virgins" as he mostly pursues unicorns. Another hunter remarks that he's heard they're quite rare these days, and the first agrees that he's right — and don't see many unicorns around, either.
  • This conversation between Rose and Dimitri in Shadow Kiss:
    Rose: Are you afraid of my possibly insane dark side coming out?
    Dimitri: No, I'm afraid of your normal Rose Hathaway side coming out, the one that isn't afraid to jump in without thinking when she believes something is right.
    Rose: Is there a difference?
    Dimitri: Yes. The second one scares me.
  • Matilda: At the very beginning, the narrator speaks of proud parents who are convinced their offspring can do no wrong, even digressing into what he would say about them if he were a teacher. This is followed by "Occasionally, one comes across parents who take the opposite line, and show no interest in their children at all, and these of course are far worse than the doting ones", before describing how Mr and Mrs Wormwood view Matilda.
  • Monster Hunter International: In Monster Hunter Vendetta'', after the hero is rescued from a vampire attack on a Mexican prison by the U.S. Monster Control Bureau, he considers that he's not certain if a vampire or the government is scarier, as one is a soulless entity that can suck the very blood from the innocent, and the other is undead.
  • Doctor Who Novelisations: In the adaptation of The Day of the Doctor, following the chapter about Tenth's relationship with Queen Elizabeth I, the Lemony Narrator says that some readers may be aghast at these claims concerning a figure who's a byword for chastity and purity, but then again, he did have a granddaughter.

    Live-Action TV 
  • On 50 to 01: Greatest Movie Quotes, Bert Newton introduces the line "At my signal, unleash Hell," by saying, "Russell Crowe is a violent barbarian looking for a fight. Also, he's in Gladiator."
  • From the opening monologue of the 2010 Academy Awards:
    Steve Martin: Over here, we have the Inglourious Basterds section.
    Alec Baldwin: And over here, we have the people who made the movie.
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.:
    • Fitz does this to Simmons in "The Team":
      Fitz: (while cuddling with Simmons) Who needs space? Because I've got something magnificent right here. (looks fondly at Simmons, then turns to a poster of a starscape) A picture. Of space. One of my prized possessions, that is. (Simmons chuckles and leans in for a "Shut Up" Kiss)
    • Simmons pulls one a few episodes later in "Absolution", as she plans a vacation for her and Fitz:
      Simmons: You think I'm not romantic? I'm gonna do something with you on that island that will take your breath away.
      Fitz: What is... eh... are... are you... what?
      Simmons: Snorkling!
  • From, The Bill, courtesy of Dion Barrie, a boxer participating in a charity lock-up in the Sun Hill cells.
    Dion: If I had to choose between being trapped in a small space with a tattooed psychopath and going to prison, I'd choose the ring every time.
  • The Chaser's 2007 Election special, The Chaser Decides, opens, according to Craig, "just days away from what promises to be one of the most closely fought battles for votes in the history of this country." Chris continues, "But enough about Australian Idol..."
  • Conan O'Brien also uses this trope often:
    Conan: Well, Paris Hilton is visiting Venice this week. The crumbling, polluted system of canals that has been used by everyone... is visiting Venice.
    • He also pulled a rare lighthearted variant when it was revealed that Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey would meet, cracking that the most influential and powerful black person in the world was going to meet Barack Obama.
  • Jon Stewart on The Daily Show loves this trope:
    • During the ANCHOR WAR! between Stewart and Mad Money host Jim Cramer:
      Jon Stewart: A battle between a man who makes people laugh for a living, and whatever people think I do.
    • At one point, he tried to help Republicans come up with some better zingers:
      "What's the difference between President Obama and the New York Times? One's black and white and full of lies, and the other's a publication I've never read."
    • Talking about the Tea Party Republican debate airing on CNN:
      "A fringe, often derided, incompetent bunch of yahoos was finally granted legitimacy by pairing with the Tea Party."
    • Talking about a Democratic Party fundraiser with George Clooney and Barack Obama:
      "The most powerful man in the free world, having Barack Obama over to his house for a fundraiser."
    • Talking about an event with Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama:
      "The most influential person in America, and Barack Obama in THE SAME ROOM!"
    • Imagining a confrontation between notorious drug kingpin Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán and Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner after both landed on a list of the year's "most influential" people:
      Jon Stewart: [As Boehner] "Well, pleased to meet you, I'm the head of one of the notorious, corrupt, and vile institutions in all of North America."
      [As Guzmán] "Oh, well, it's nice to meet you too, I'm El Chapo."
  • Doctor Who:
    • A variation from the episode "The Doctor Dances," when Captain Jack Harkness first enters the TARDIS:
      Jack Harkness: Hmm, Bigger on the Inside.
      Doctor: Yeah, you'd better be.
    • And done the usual way in the 2010 Christmas special:
      Amy Pond: [To the Doctor standing next to a snowman he made] You know, that could almost be mistaken for a real person... snowman isn't bad, either.
    • Part of the description for series 6, part 2:
      Venturing across centuries and galaxies, the Doctor, Amy, and Rory will encounter the greatest war criminal in all of history — and Hitler.
    • In "God Complex," the Minotaur's final words.
      The Doctor: [Translating] An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent. Drifting in space through an endless shifting maze. To such a creature, death would be a gift.
      The Doctor: Then accept it.
      The Doctor: [Translating] I wasn't talking about myself.
    • Another serious example from "A Good Man Goes to War":
      The Doctor: [At the end of a rage-filled speech] Look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
      Madam Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
      The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
    • And another, in the form of a Badass Boast with a large helping of Ship Tease:
      Amy: He's the Last of His Kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better... as the Last Centurion.
    • In "Robot of Sherwood," Robin Hood invokes this trope to show that he and the Doctor aren't so different:
      Robin: Why is it so hard to credit? That a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear... Until one night he is moved to steal a TARDIS and fly among the stars fighting the good fight.
  • In Dog with a Blog the family is discussing what to do about Ellen's new pet parrot:
    Dad: What do we do?
    Stan: Don't look at me, you're the one who brought that screeching beast in here. Then you let her get a bird.
  • Elementary: After returning from a trip, Watson asks about Sherlock Holmes' pet tortoise, Clyde:
    Watson: Did he behave himself when I was gone?
    Kitty: That depends. Are you talking about the frowny one with the hard shell, or do you mean Clyde?
    Watson: Take your pick.
  • Ricky Gervais on getting Robert De Niro to guest star in Extras: "It was amazing. One of the greatest actors of all time and Robert De Niro in the same show."
  • Firefly had Simon and Kaylee in a room observing an "alien" (actually a mutated cow fetus) in a jar as part of a sideshow. When Kaylee storms off, Wash enters and says, "Oh my God, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar."
  • From Friends, Chandler is afraid he will end up like his parents:
    Chandler: ...I could grow up to be a middle-aged divorcee chasing around twenty-year-old boys... or I could become my mom.
  • In Jessie, Luke and Ravi wonder about either following Emma or Mr. Kibling to safety in "Cattle Calls & Scary Walls".
    Ravi: So do we follow the creature with a brain the size of a walnut...or Mr. Kibling? (points at Mr. Kibling)
  • Subverted on Gadget Man:
    Richard Ayoade: Taking children to the playground is always a stressful affair, ending with crying, screaming and fights breaking out. And that's just the children! Or possibly the parents, I'm not really sure how that sort of joke is supposed to work.
  • Incredibly common on Have I Got News for You, though how funny it is can vary with how well the guest presenter actually reads it. It's such a mainstay that the audience will often see it coming before the presenter gets to the punchline.
    "This is the news that Anne Robinson has had her face injected with Botox. Deadly poisonous and liable to induce vomiting, Anne Robinson presents The Weakest Link."
    • The original host Angus Deayton in particular was good at these:
      Angus: On Ian Hislop's team is a performer who's made a career out of playing a balding grumpy old man befuddled by the modern world, and next to him is Richard Wilson.
      (Following an "Odd One Out" question) Fidel Castro did in fact have a career as a professional extra in musicals while both Lassie and Ronald Reagan had similar success, although one of them only had to run around a bit and come when his name was called, which he very nearly perfected before he became the President of the United States.
      This is the fiasco over the national football stadium at Wembley. The FAA are considering relocating the national stadium to a large site just outside Birmingham. Although it is currently little more than a rubble-strewn wasteland, Birmingham is in fact England's second biggest city.
  • On The King of Queens, the trope is lampshaded often in the episode "Awed Couple":
    To Friends! Not the show, but that too!
    To Us! Not the magazine, but that too!
    • And in a deleted scene:
      To Pedophiles! Not the blog, but that too!
  • In Knightmare, Cedric, a monk, is trading insults with Folly, a jester, and his final one is:
    Cedric: When the joker is no longer funny, when his jokes can't earn him any money, when wit deserts the stupid clod — I'll send HIM here, to do YOUR job!
  • Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show loves this trope, and used it at least once a week (usually more, actually) in his monologues. He lampshaded this himself on the September 7, 2009 show. He also did a variant in the beginning of most of his monologues as he's "welcoming" the viewers:
    Craig: Welcome, welcome. Sit back, let down your long, luscious blond locks... You too, ladies!
    • "James Cameron, who directed Avatar, is in a feud with Glenn Beck, because Cameron called him a madman. The two are very different. One makes millions creating fictional stories, and the other is James Cameron."
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: In a segment about Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the Vatican's review of it, Colbert notes that he is both a lifelong Catholic and a huge Star Wars fan. Later in the segment, after discussing the Vatican's newspaper's review of The Force Awakens, he says he is "caught in a crisis of faith between deeply held beliefs embedded in me since childhood and the Catholic Church."
  • David Letterman regarding Sarah Palin going on The Oprah Winfrey Show to plug her memoir:
    "It'll be great, there'll be a woman who is qualified to be President... and Sarah Palin will be there too."
  • Married... with Children:
    • In the end of two-part episode "Requiem for a Chevyweight," Al tells his Dodge he "never loved that flashy red hussy. Or the new car either."
    • Also, Al and Peggy are at a couples retreat. Al says "I'm not talking to, or touching that bozo with the big red hair!". He then points to a guy dressed as a clown and says "Or that guy either".
  • From The Mary Tyler Moore Show, when Lou forbids Ted from being the Grand Marshall of a parade.
    Lou: I said, forget it. My anchorman isn't marching down the street with a chimp. It tends to give him an undignified image.
    Ted: Oh Lou, it won't give me an undignified image!
    Lou: I was talking about the chimp.
  • A M*A*S*H episode opens with Hawkeye narrating a letter to his dad:
    Hawkeye: Korea's pretty much the same story. The fighting goes on. The hatred, the violence, the senseless brutality, men behaving like animals. Then, of course, there's the war.
  • The Tagline for the Patrick Stewart starring miniseries of Moby-Dick was "The story of a monster - and the whale he hated."
  • During a "Things a Rugby Commentator Would Never Say" round of Mock the Week:
    Hugh Dennis: And it's England versus Samoa. A team of rank amateurs, against Samoa.
  • During the goldfish-memory test on MythBusters:
    Narrator: So the guys want to train goldfish to swim through a maze! If they do it, they'll prove they're smarter than we think. The goldfish will look clever, too!
    • A Self-Deprecation variant in the "Ming Dynasty Astronaut" episode, after numerous failed attempts to build working black powder rockets:
      Adam: I think we need to get professional help... then maybe find some rocket experts.
  • The reaction of the bullies in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide to having to play dodgeball against Ned and Moze: "One of them's a girl!" "And one of them's Mosely!"
  • Invoked and subverted at the end of one episode of Only Connect:
    Victoria: Or "OC", as some people call it. Don't confuse it with another TV show called The O.C., though, that's very different. One is a drama of live, love, rivalry, and shimmering sexual tension — I genuinely don't know if I'm going to reverse this comparison or not — set in Orange County, Callifornia — no, I'm not — and the other is Only Connect.
  • Real Time with Bill Maher: Bill Maher is another who enjoys making use of this trope.
    Bill: Not that I'm comparing Dick Cheney to the GEICO lizard. One's a scaly, cold-blooded reptile, and the other is the GEICO lizard.
  • From Saturday Night Live:
    Sean Connery: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck... I can't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore.
    • Also:
      Jimmy Fallon: Earlier this week, it was announced that Elton John would be performing a duet with Eminem at the Grammies. When asked about performing with the obviously gay musician, Elton John said he didn't have a problem with it.
  • Scrubs:
    Dr. Cox: Oh, look, it's the newlyweds [JD and Turk]. And, hey, Carla [Turk's wife].
  • A variant from Shaun Micallef's Mad as Hell: Shaun brings up a report stating that Tony Abbott has been speaking 100 words a minute slower than before the last election, and comparing his speech to that of a puppet.
    Shaun: Is our nation's leader really like a slow-talking marionette? Let's have a comparison.
    [Cut to a clip of incoherent rambling from Mortimer Snerd. Cut back to Shaun.]
    Shaun: Well, that footage was from before the election, and I do have to say that Mr. Abbott was a little difficult to understand, even back then.
  • Sleuth 101, two characters talk about a user-created character from an MMORPG making a magazine's "Top 10 Sexiest Women in the World" list, between Megan Fox and Paris Hilton.
    Nazeem: I can't believe a two-dimensional character even made that list.
    Gill: I can. Exotica is beautiful.
    Nazeem: I was talking about Paris Hilton.
  • In Spaced:
    Duane: You know what they say about love and war.
    Tim: Yes, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain, and the other one's war.
  • In Taxi when Jim rescued a horse and brought him into the garage, Louie came up and growled, "Get that ugly, flea-ridden, stinking animal out of my garage, and tell him to take his horse with him!"
  • Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles has an exchange where Derek asks John why the two women (Cameron and Sarah) were sent into a dangerous situation instead of the men. John responds, "...and one of the girls is harder than nuclear nails." Derek adds, "...and the other is a cyborg."
  • In That '70s Show when Jackie's father tells her that if she doesn't break up with Kelso, he will cut her allowance:
    Jackie: [To Kelso] How do I choose between something that makes my whole life complete... and you?
For the record, she chooses him.
  • Top Gear:
    • One early episode gives us this narration that quips, as always, on Hammond's height, during a challenge where they have to load large items into vans they have bought:
      Jeremy Clarkson: Richard really did have a size problem, and his van was pretty small as well!
    • A Series 18 episode has Clarkson talking about how his custom mobility scooter meets British regulations, mixing in some Self-Deprecation humour:
      Clarkson: I'm good for width, I'm good for length, I'm good for speed! But I do have a problem with weight, and so does my scooter.
  • The American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? has a variation that's become a running gag. Example, taken from a "Weird Newscasters" game:
    Drew Carey: Ryan Stiles, you're the weatherman, and you're desperately trying to convince everyone that you're not gay.
    Ryan Stiles: Yeah, but what am I in this sketch?
  • Will & Grace, concerning Karen and Jack dog-sitting:
    Will: I feel good about this, leaving our puppy with Cruella De Vil... and Karen.
  • Wings:
    • Helen, regarding Roy's Russian mail-order bride.
      Helen: Could you imagine your only two choices in life being Roy and Siberia? One is cold, vast, and depressing, and the other is way the hell in Russia.
    • In another episode, several of the group have tried out for a local play, and Antonio is telling the others what their roles will be.
      Antonio: Roy, you are an overbearing, pompous windbag.
      Roy: Sounds like a great character! [He walks away.]
      Antonio [To the others]: That isn't his character. I've just always wanted to say that to him.
  • Fairly common in Would I Lie to You?, likely due to originally having the former host of Have I Got News For You, Angus Deayton. As with HIGNFY, they continued to use it after he was replaced, and often part of the joke is that the audience see it coming.
    • A standout example is when Lee Mack fails to convince the panel he paid £200 to have his portrait painted by a monkey.
      Rob Brydon: Of course it was a lie. Why would a dumb hairy beast, who spends most of his time flinging faeces and scratching his bottom want his portrait painted by a monkey?
    • When Jimmy Carr claims that Prince Philip called him a "funny-looking fellow" when he was a ball-boy at Wimbledon:
      Rob Brydon: What a moment. Perhaps the funniest man in Britain, known for his off-colour material, finally getting to meet Jimmy Carr.

    Magazines 
  • In MAD's Constantine (2005) parody, Constantine tells his love interest, a cop, that a romance between them would never work out. It goes something like: "We come from different worlds! One is full of sin and corruption, and in the other, I'm busy fighting Satan!"
  • In her "Relative Dimensions" column in Doctor Who Magazine, shortly after the broadcast of "Mummy on the Orient Express" (which guest starred Foxes and Frank Skinner) Jacqueline Rayner wrote that her son was delighted to see one of his favourite pop stars on the show — he's a huge fan of "Three Lions".

    Music 

    Newspaper Comics 
  • Calvin and Hobbes:
    • Calvin and Susie Derkins are cast in a school play in which the students play different foods and nutrients. Calvin asks Susie what she is, and she answers, "I'm ‘Fat.'" He replies, "No, I meant in the play." The next panel shows a thoroughly trounced Calvin while Susie asks if anyone else wants to try that one.
    • In a later strip, Calvin as Spaceman Spiff imagines touching down on "Planet Bog — [where] pools of toxic chemicals bubble under a choking atmosphere of poisonous gases. ...But aside from that, it's not much like Earth."
  • Dennis the Menace (UK): In one Go, Granny, Go strip, Granny takes her car out while a pair of elderly gentlemen pass approving comments.
    Man 1: Beautiful chassis.
    Man 2: Lovely body.
    Man 1: And the car isn't bad, either.
  • In Garfield we have this exchange.
    Jon: I took Garfield to the vet to get declawed. They're going to remove his stitches on Thursday.
    Lyman: Poor Garfield.
    Jon: Who's talking about Garfield?
  • Steve Bell's If does this a lot. In the early 1980s, a father is explaining to his son about why Reagan and Thatcher are right about the Evil Empire. He explains that in Poland, the police are used to hammer down dissidents and suppress free criticism of the regime. Workers cannot go on strike without the forces of the State being used to oppress them. Freedom of travel within your own country is taken away. The Great Leader must be revered as being a living God whose word must be obeyed, and the Press becomes the Leader's Propaganda Machine. Meanwhile, the son is looking around him, at the Miners' Strike (the backdrop for these events), notices an adoring Daily Mail headline showing Margaret Thatcher, and asks "So we live in Poland, then?"

    Professional Wrestling 
  • In the WWE, during a feud with Stephanie McMahon, Chris Jericho said to her and Rhyno that he was going take care of that "smelly, greasy, nasty animal," then adding "And I'm gonna get you too, Rhyno!"
  • The Rock did this when it was announced that he would face "Stone Cold" Steve Austin at WrestleMania 15.
    "In one corner, you'll have the toughest S.O.B. ever to lace up a pair of boots and get into the squared circle. And in the other, you'll have... ‘Stone Cold' Steve Austin."
    • The Rock would do this again in the lead up to his rematch with Hulk Hogan at No Way Out 2003.
      "On one side of the ring you got the biggest superstar ever to step inside the ring... and in the other corner, Hulk Hogan."

    Radio 
  • In a 2011 episode of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, Jack Dee mentioned that both The Goodies and Radio 4's consumer show You and Yours celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2010. "One bringing mirth and hilarity to the nation, the other being about three blokes on a bike." (Both Graeme and Tim from The Goodies are Clue regulars).
    • And a few episodes later he introduced the letter-writing round with "David Cameron recently wrote a letter to the president of the Ivory Coast. He refuses to admit he didn't win the election, is clinging desperately to power, and is rapidly losing touch with reality. And now he's writing letters to African presidents."
    • A popular gag on the show; a much earlier one that isn't really a Take That! at either entity, but is just amusingly surreal:
      Humphrey Lyttelton: In the nineteenth century the docks became central to Bristol's industrialisation, and two great monuments to this period remain today: Clifton Suspension Bridge, and the SS Great Britain. With its mighty stone-block towers and steel-rope construction, it's little wonder the ship sank on her maiden voyage. After she was hit by a huge paddlewheel which fell off the bridge.
    • Introducing Stephen Fry's first appearance, Humph said, "On this week's show we have a complete novice, who knows nothing about the games we play... Tim Brooke-Taylor."
    • Jack Dee again, describing Nottingham: "Nottingham's twin towns include Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. During a goodwill visit in July 1991 the twinning panel became trapped in a small hotel, pinned down by small arms fire. The terrified Slovenians said they wished they'd never come here."
    • And again in Cornwall:
      Jack Dee: In the James Bond film Die Another Day, Holywell Bay is used to recreate a beach in North Korea. The leader of the breakaway state, renowned for its hardline nationalist politics and a deep mistrust of outsiders, said he was delighted to welcome the movie-makers to Cornwall.
    • Introducing a round about television:
      Jack Dee: During the pandemic we've seen some huge viewing figures. For example, in 2020, the most watched programme on UK TV was the Prime Ministerial statement on Covid, which attracked 19 million viewers. And this year, the most watched programme was Line of Duty, with 15 million. If you hapened to miss it, I can tell you it was a rollercoaster of baffling jargon, growing suspicion, overlooked evidence and institutional corruption. The other was a drama about bent coppers.
  • When then President-elect Barack Obama visited the White House in January 2009, Peter Sagal opened that week's broadcast of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me by saying something like: "Right now, in the White House, there is a man who some people think is still not ready for the responsibilities of his position. [Beat] But he's leaving office in a couple days, so we're not worried."
  • A 1980s episode of The News Quiz describing Margaret Thatcher bringing democracy to Czechoslovakia: "She told the Czech president that all that was required was to dismantle the old, lumbering bureaucracy. He agreed that Czechoslovakia had the same problem."
    • More recently on The News Quiz: "Those who abuse others on social networking sites are called trolls, not to be confused with the mythical creature. One is short-tempered, idiotic, and ugly, and the other is fictional."
    • And Jeremy Hardy in a 2017 episode, asked a question about Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un:
      Jeremy: Obviously, it's always worrying and embarrassing when a national leader is a vain, racist narcissist who stereotypes Muslims as terrorists. But thankfully, Aung San Suu Kyi doesn't have nuclear weapons. Tortuous and formulaic, but fair.
    • Another example:
      "King Juan Carlos of Spain has caused outrage among animal rights campaigners and recession-hit Spaniards by paying £27,000 to hunt elephants in Botswana. Facing rapid extinction and plagued by inbreeding, the Spanish royal family have ruled for centuries."
  • From The Unbelievable Truth:
    David Mitchell: After losing a bet to Tony Hawks, Arthur stood naked in Balham High Road and sang the national anthem of the People's Republic of Moldova. An impoverished region, the regular scene of civil unrest, Balham is in South London near Clapham.
  • The Now Show on Scotland's options if it gets independence and doesn't have a currency union with the rest of the UK:
    Steve Punt: Suggestions have included bitcoin and the Euro, both of which are risky. One is a made-up currency which no one really understands and has no real value...
    Audience: Anticipatory laughter
    Steve Punt: ...and the other is a Dead Ringers punchline.
  • In his Radio 4 university panel game The Third Degree, the same Steve Punt discussed the alumni of the University of York, including Christine Hamiltonnote  and Harry Enfield. "So well done, York, for giving us a humorous icon whose long-running double act has provided decades of national amusement. And Harry Enfield's very funny too."

    Stand-Up Comedy 
  • In Toby Hadoke's show Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf, he compares Girls Aloud to the Autons, saying one is a group of manufactured plastic people, and the other... The Tardis Eruditorum guest post "Moths Ate My Girls Aloud CD," about both Hadoke's show and the more Girls Aloud-friendly comic book Phonogram, riffs on this, saying "one is a comic taking an adult perspective on the someone from the middle of nowhere in the West Midlands' teenage obsession, whereas the other..."

    Tabletop Games 
  • Eclipse Phase: In the "X-Risks" supplement, a Firewall Sentinel discusses humanity's relations with the ambush-predator-descended alien slime moulds, the Factors, by saying that they're dealing with a race of slimy, deceptive, thieving predators, and also with the Factors, who have shown surprising restraint.
  • Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay: In The Old World Bestiary, a quote by a Bretonnian soldier describes an experience he had fighting goblins riding giant wolves. They came riding down on them, all teeth and fangs and halitosis, and the wolves were also pretty awful.

    Video Games 
  • Mass Effect:
    • In Mass Effect 2, after EDI takes over more functions in the Normandy after the Collector raid on the ship, Shepard can admonish Joker for slacking.
      Shepard: What am I looking at here, a 90/10 split? And that's being generous.
      Joker: Commander, don't be unfair. She does way more than that.
    • In Mass Effect 3, Specialist Traynor comes up with a joke comparing Shepard to a Krogan. Shepard can finish the joke for her.
      Traynor: One is an unstoppable force of headbutting destruction...
      Shepard: (I get it. That's me.) ...and the other doesn't have a smartass communications officer to keep him/her in line.
      Traynor: Ooh, that's better than the number-of-testicles punchline.
  • In Grand Theft Auto IV, during a cutscene where Packie McReary's sister is talking to Niko Bellic and Packie wards her off. She says he surely knows the difference between talking and casual sex.
    Packie: Yeah, one leaves you feeling empty and alone, and the other's casual sex.
  • On one of the "K-Chat" radio interviews in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, football star BJ Smith explains to Amy (the DJ) the difference between baseball and football:
    BJ: Football and baseball aren't the same. In one of them, you get bored doing a five-hour game, you touch yourself a lot, and start a massive brawl with players who are degenerates, ego-maniacs, and criminals. The other's football.
  • Red Dead Redemption 2. Arthur Morgan can interact with the many folks he comes across in towns in this manner, especially if he chooses to "greet" someone first and then "antagonize" afterwards at the right moment, which makes for some hilarious, switch-and-bait dialogue. There's one in particular of a man and his horse that Arthur can "compliment."
    Arthur: (Greet) That's a mighty fine animal you've got there.
    Man: Why, thank you sir-
    Arthur: (Antagonize) I was talking to the horse.
  • In Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade, a Support conversation between Wallace and Vaida (who rides a grey wyvern) incites a rivalry between them, where they show off to each other, prompting a disdainful comment from Wallace:
    Wallace: Well, all I saw was a big lump of grey flesh flitting about in the sky and belching on occasion! And your wyvern wasn't much better!
  • In Banjo-Kazooie, upon completeing the Grunty's Furnace Fun mini-game, the duo are offered a choice of three prizes: Tooty, a washing machine cauldron, and an ugly Grunty doll. This exchange happens:
    Banjo: Which prize shall we take, Kazooie?
    Tooty: Me! Me! Me! Me!
    Kazooie: Err... How about that grotty ugly thing?
    Banjo: I think we should take Tooty...
    Kazooie: That's what I meant!
    Banjo: (appalled) Kazooie!!!
  • In the first episode of Sam & Max: The Devil's Playhouse, the narrator comments that "Max can teleport himself and his longtime companion... and also Sam." Possibly done as a Mythology Gag to the comics, as mentioned above.
  • League of Legends: Before the rework that buffed Sejuani, any thread lamenting her uselessness inevitably contained the suggestion that she was a pig... on a boar.
  • In Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U, when Pit does his special taunt against Kirby on Palutena's Temple:
    Viridi: Just keep whaling on him. Then we'll see who's stronger: that little puffball... or Kirby!
  • World of Warcraft: In the five-man dungeon Iron Docks, there is the following exchange between the two main NPCs, Captain Koromar and Lieutenant Zoggosh, as your party approaches the penultimate boss fight in the dungeon:
    Koramar: I'm not playing these games anymore. Bring in the saberon and we'll be done with it.
    Zoggosh: Uhhh... Are you sure you want to let that thing out of its cage? I don't think we have fed it since we found it.
    Koramar: Put a muzzle on it.
    Zoggosh: Good idea, sir!
    Koramar: I didn't mean the cat.
  • Fallen London has a pretty subtle one with the Anarchists, the joke being that a "dynamite faction" was a term for an energized, politically active, powerful political group used in the late 1800s (when the game takes place). The switch is that they aren't united enough to be a genuine dynamite faction and are called that because they use a lot of dynamite:
    Some call them the dynamite faction, but they're very far from united.
  • Cranky Kong narrates the manual for Donkey Kong 64. When you get to the section on Gloomy Galleon, he says "you'll find a hulking structure that's a bit dim and doesn't work. Yes, I know you already know about Chunky, but this is also true of an eerie lighthouse."
  • In Disney Magic Kingdoms, during the Turning Red Event, Priya talks about her efforts to find Mei who some people might not recognize in her giant red panda form.
    Priya: Huh. Guess nobody at the medical center's seen a terrifying, furry, half-human-half-beastmonster today.
    [beat]
    Priya: ... Oh. And nobody's seen Mei, either. I always ask about werewolves first. Just in case.

    Visual Novels 
  • Highway Blossoms: "One of them needs someone to look out for her, and the other's ten."

    Webcomics 
  • Dominic Deegan: Donovan, who makes the joke, is himself a Callanian. He was trying to win over an extremely anti-Callanian Orc Chief holding him captive. It worked.
    "What's the difference between a catfish and Callanian? One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other's just a fish."
  • Done in this Melonpool strip, when Ralph Zinobop tried to get his comic strip published — first by the newspaper syndicate, and later by the Mafia syndicate.
    Guess what I learned today? The Mafia syndicate is different than the newspaper syndicate. One extorts money from people, often using entertainers for their nefarious purposes! All the grunt work is done by lackeys with no real power and somebody has to die before new people can join! And the other one's the Mafia.
  • The Wotch: "I get to look forward to two fantastic monthly events now. One of which turns me into a vicious monster, and the other into a were-cat."
  • At the conclusion of "Tankard of Trouble" in The Gods of Arr-Kelaan, Ronson makes such a comparison.
  • In Fans!, Rikk Oberf once described the two women in his life, Ally and (world-class martial artist) Rumi, like this: "One of them is one of the most amazing fighters I've ever seen, and the other one is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf!" Note that he's not disparaging Rumy, but acknowledging the strength of Ally, a seasoned chain-fighter who succeeded in beating back a life-threatening disease and her own darker side.
  • In Hijinks Ensue, Eli replaces his Tres Feo with spoiled hollandaise sauce and antifreeze to find out who was stealing it. "That tingling sensation you feel is the corrosive chemicals liquefying your organs! Also there's antifreeze which will probably be bad too!"
  • In PHD, Tajel heads off to join the Occupy protests.
    Cecilia: Let me get this straight: you're part of a movement that is vocal and frustrated but doesn't have clear goal, demands, or a plan of action... and you want to join another one?
  • Homestuck:
    They make such a cute couple.
    The king and queen are pretty nice too. Heheheh.
    • Dirk is talking about making an AI based on his personality. Jake's (GT's) response is
    GT: Does that mean I'll have to deal with two dirks?
    GT: One who is MORE MACHINE THAN MAN...
    GT: And another who is a computer program you made hahahahahahaha.
  • At Aubrey and Jason's wedding in Something*Positive, Aubrey's mother says, "With such a speedy wedding every mother plays two scenarios in her head. The first says the quickened marriage is due to an unforeseen but blessed development that will surely bring joy into all our lives. The other scenario says you were stupid and got knocked up."
  • Irregular Webcomic! has the following exchange after Lambert describes his encounter with a Captain Ersatz of Gollum
    Lambert: It was going to eat me and then steal it (i-e: Lambert's ring)!
    Kyros: Strange how one can become so tainted by lust for wealth and power, as embodied in shiny trinkets, and corrupted to such a wretched state.
    Mordecai: Yes, but what about this creature he mentioned?
  • In one Captain SNES: The Game Masta comic:
    Alex's Narration: I'd finally broken out of the endless battle loop and though I'd been victorious, I was still badly shaken. It was like being trapped in that Bill Murray movie where the same thing happened over again... god how I hated Ghostbusters II.
  • In the Darths & Droids side-story based on Solo, Jim's narration describes the-street-kid-subsequently-known-as-Han making through the streets of Corellia:
    Jim: I hesitated as an Imperial patrol went by with some Corellian hounds. Big, nasty curs with slobbering drool dripping down their mangy chins.
    Corey: Wait.
    Jim: And you should have seen the hounds!
  • In Shortpacked!, when Malaya approaches Robin for advice with, as always, Fuckface the iguana on her head.
    Malaya: Robin, I've never liked you much. To me, you'll always be that insane, super-powered speedster jerkass who broke Leslie's heart.
    Robin: Well, hello, Fuckface. And, hey, an iguana.

    Web Original 
  • The Agony Booth:
    Terl (John Travolta). Narcissistic and incompetent. Works for a vile, money-hungry organization, bent on world domination, which is responsible for all kinds of cruelty towards innocent human beings. In this movie, however, he plays an alien named Terl.
    • And again in the Superman IV: The Quest for Peace recap:
      Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow). The greatest villain Superman has ever faced, and a terrifying being with immense powers to make the entire world tremble. Which is how I would describe Darkseid. Meanwhile, here's Nuclear Man! The most retarded supervillain ever! And by that, I mean he is literally retarded.
  • In Homestar Runner, Strong Bad refers to Homestar and Pom Pom as "the big, fat, yellow blob and Pom Pom." Homestar has to think that one over several times to decide if he should be offended (or offended on Pom Pom's behalf).
  • Arthur B of Ferretbrain sums up the two main sides of the Warhammer 40,000 Verse: "On one side of the conflict in the book are the murderous followers of a vast and powerful presence in the Warp which accepts mass human sacrifice on a daily basis in order to project its power across the galaxy. On the other side are the followers of Chaos."
  • "It might seem like a stretch to link My Little Pony to Hellblazer, given that one is a strange, often horrifying look at a world of constant betrayal, strange magic and a world constantly teetering on the brink of annihilation, while the other is about John Constantine, but I stand by it."
  • Todd in the Shadows does this joke a lot.
    • During his review of the Hannah Montana movie, he comments on a scuffle in a shoestore between Hannah and Tyra Banks:
      "Okay, I find it really hard to believe that a seasoned, mature celebrity would lower herself to fighting publicly with a dumb, flash-in-the-pan starlet like Tyra Banks. BA-ZING!"
    • He's also prone to opening things in his Top Tens with a clip from some artist other than his preferred:
      Todd: Hey, Ed Sheeran. Remember how I said some mean things about you? [Lists those things] I don't know if I said all that, exactly, but I certainly meant to! Heh... Mr. Sheeran, I am so, so sorry.
      Passenger [the real #10 slot]: But you only need the light when it's burning low...
    • When reviewing "#selfie" by the Chainsmokers, which consists of ditzy club-girl cliches set to EDM, he builds up a metaphor for a trip to the club being ruined by the vapidest, most obnoxious sound in the universe: club music!
    • He also does this in his review of "Anaconda" by going on and on about how this is a trite, annoying song that only serves to make it's singer look look a complete idiot. The song in question is, of course... "Starships," which at that point was already two years old.
    • In the "Pillowtalk" review, he describes a Britishman's decision to leave a multinational European group with a powerful global influence; the review was uploaded in July 2016 shortly after the UK voted to leave the European Union, an event predicted to have an effect on the global economy. Instead, Todd was talking about Britishman Zayn Malik splitting ways One Direction (who are considered a "European" group as one of their members was Irish).
  • Two Best Friends Play: During the ClayFighter episode of Saturday Morning Scrublords, as they are playing the game, Pat comments that he (i.e. the character he's using) has a puke attack. Matt is quick to reply "and you also have one in the game!"
  • The Cinema Snob has used this joke a few times.
    • He used a variation in his review of Caddyshack II.
      "This is the second movie in the '80s where Jonathan Silverman had to carry around a corpse. The other being Terry Kiser, this time being the movie Caddyshack II."
    • He does it again in his Sex and the City 2 review, comparing Sex and the City and Will & Grace.
      "It's true that both shows are popular with women and gay men, but while one show is a funny, provocative and relatable look at relationships, the other is Will and Grace."
  • The Roast of Mario
    Bowser: Actually, Mario's first game was Donkey Kong. It was the story of a big, hairy ape and its battle against Donkey Kong.
  • RPPR Actual Play: Thad, hamming it up while managing to make everything hilariously dirty in the Cthulhu Invictus episode, has this to say on the subject of a chariot team:
    "Mmm, yes, some fine beasts on that team — and the horses are good too!"
  • Craig Ferguson once wrote on Twitter, "I reach the evening of each day exhausted, demoralized & covered in vomit & poop. Then I'm expected to deal with the baby."
  • Cracked:
  • The Comics Curmudgeon, on a The Family Circus strip where Billy throws a stick for Barfy, and Barfy returns it to a snowman:
    "Barfy the dog is apparently unable to distinguish between a round-headed lump with an eternal dumb grin on its face and not a single thought in its head and a snowman."
  • When CR of Familiar Faces compares Lady Gaga with her Moshi Monsters counterpart, Lady Goo Goo.
    CR: One is a strange little two-dimensional creature that dances around half naked spewing baby talk and is constantly surrounded by outlandish environments and creatures, and the other one's a web cartoon.
  • The Slacktivist blog once posted this:
    "For Israel to put Jonah on a coin is like if New Jersey were to put Tony Soprano on its state flag. Not that HBO's The Sopranos and the book of Jonah are exactly the same. The one is a viciously satirical fictional story centering on a selfish brute of an anti-hero. The other is an Emmy-winning show about gangsters."
  • In one episode of Andrew Klavan on the Culture, Andrew Klavan satirically compared Barack Obama to Jesus and at one point dropped this line:
    Klavan: There are some differences between our dear saviour and Jesus.
  • Used three times in Lolcats. First, with a dragon and a cat, the second with an iron and a cat, and the third one with a dalek and a cat.
  • From Twitter:
  • George Takei posted this on Facebook, which was adapted from a fan post:
    The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.
  • SF Debris posted this on Twitter about two of his upcoming reviews:
    Wonder Woman and The Thing (1982) are going to be hard. Inhuman indiscriminate killer no one can hope to stop, and the Thing is nasty too.
    • Also used in his review of the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Counterpoint," which has an alien inspector from a race of ruthless xenophobes boarding Voyager and coming up against the deranged supervillain known as Parody Janeway.
      One is a jackbooted oppressor sowing fear and hopelessness everywhere, and the other is an inspector. Thank you, Joke Formula #97!
  • The Nostalgia Critic:
    • During his review for The Cat in the Hat, the Critic described Dakota Fanning as being "best known for playing a strange-looking, lifeless puppet. Oh, and Coraline."
    • In his review of The Boss Baby he lampshades it.
      Nostalgia Critic: Tim makes a big discovery, though, when he sees that his brother, now voiced by Alec Baldwin, is a pompous, angry, whiny angry psychopath. Say it with me...
      Nostalgia Critic and audience: And so is his character!
      Rimshot
    • The Critic begins his review of Barney's Great Adventure by saying that there are there are two kinds of Barneys in the world; one is an obnoxious dinosaur that nobody likes to listen to, and the other one is purple. Cue him going up to his father, who is also named Barney, and roasting him. He ends his review on a similar note by saying that Barney might be a better character if he had a good sense of humor, and that the dinosaur could use some help, too, but this time, Barney Walker delivers a Groin Attack to the Critic, causing him to fall on the ground.
  • In his Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains list, in the section about Superboy-Prime, Linkara shows us a picture of a young Clark Kent, and goes "Stop me if you've heard this one before":
    Linkara: A young man grows up on earth, surrounded by stories of Superman, to the point where he's even named Clark Kent, only to discover that he himself is Superman. But (image zooms out to show it's the cover of Kurt Busiek's awesome miniseries, Superman: Secret Identity) enough about Kurt Busiek's awesome miniseries, Superman: Secret Identity. Instead, let's talk about Superboy-Prime.
  • Honest Trailers:
    • In the episode for Batman & Robin:
      Narrator: In a World… full of crime, one man is determined to kill Batman once and for all. [Montage of Mr. Freeze clips] His name... is director Joel Schumacher.
    • For Gladiator:
      [Maximus] seeks revenge on the off-putting weirdo Joaquin Phoenix, who in this movie plays the off-putting weirdo Commodus.
  • The Music Video Show:
    • In the first episode when Metallica goes to prison to perform a few songs for the prisoners:
      "Those poor, poor guys... being forced to listen to new Metallica live."
    • In episode five:
      "So, Kevin is dressed as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. So, one half of his face is deformed and hideous... and the other is blue and scaly."
    • In Episode six:
      "I like to compare Hinder playing at a funeral to knowingly inviting a pedophile to a children's birthday party. One makes you realize how much of a mistake it was...and the other is inviting the pedophile to the birthday party."
    • Subverted in episode seven:
      "I don't know which band is worse: Creed or Hinder. You have one band that writes nothing but overwrought, overemotional songs that numb the brain... there is no difference between Creed or Hinder."
    • Again in Episode 100:
      "I didn't read the Bible, but I did read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. They are both the same thing. Where one is fictional, the other was written by C. S. Lewis
  • A Bill Simmons column had one of these (from one of the reader emails) at the expense of a then-winless NFL team with a lame-duck coach:
    "Which do you think teams should be more worried about catching when playing in Tampa Bay — the flesh-eating, terrible-PR-creating disease wracking the Buccaneers, or MRSA?"
  • In Lucahjin's playthrough of Shadow of the Colossus, during a part where she continuously fails, she utters this gem:
    "If you look in the dictionary under ‘stupid,' you will find a picture of — Judge Judy."
  • This tumblr post, contrasting MRAs (men's rights activists) and MRSA.
  • The programmer forum, Stack Overflow, discusses: What's the difference between Javascript and Java? One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers. The other is a scripting language for web browsers.
  • "Social news and entertainment company" Buzzfeed used this trope in their description blurb for a featured video called "Justin Bieber or Angelica Pickles: Can You Tell the Difference?"
    "One's a Spoiled Brat, the other's from Rugrats."
  • Zero Punctuation:
    • In his review of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, he used the acronym "CODAW"note  "I'm sure there's a joke in there, relating to that one character from Game of Thrones, but naw. How could a huge retrograde lumbering idiot capable only of spouting the same phrase possibly relate to Game of Thrones?"
    • Also, about how The Last Guardian's relationship between the main character and his pet didn't feel compelling: "It'd be like getting invested in the relationship between the bloke from Shenmue and the bloke from Shenmue's forklift. Imagine that, the storybook romance between a cold piece of emotionless machinery, and a forklift."
    • Someone took a shot of their own in the YouTube comments section of his review of Vampyr (a game about British vampires): "A blood sucking, pasty, stiff Englishman reviews a video game".
    • In his review of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, when talking about it releasing on the same day as Doom Eternal: "But the two are a weirdly good pairing. What better way to unwind from a high tension gameplay experience than with something cheerful, relaxing and colourful like Doom Eternal yeah you figured out where this joke was going half a sentence ago I’m sure."
  • This short essay against litmus tests.
    "The beautiful thing about stories is that using intelligence and imagination can make anything make sense.
    After all, consider this character: a shy little girl with a happy, imaginative, and humorous personality, who is a master of stealth as she's silent, can quickly climb walls and stick to ceilings, camouflage against any pattern or surface. She is a master thief and can pick locks without tools. She hunts sharks, jumping out of shadows and attacking their face, yet she loves to play. She can imitate a dozen animals, some she's never even seen. Tragically, her life is short; her one sexual partner abandoned her to care for her unborn children, whom she dies protecting.
    One could have a Sue. Or one could have an octopus."
  • IGN made a video comparing Duke Nukem and Donald Trump. The description blurb said that one loves beautiful women and wants to get rid of aliens, and the other is a video game character.
  • David J. Prokopetz on the possibility of an Evangelion AU of Steven Universe.
    "One's the story of a sensitive fourteen-year-old boy slowly coming to terms with the legacy of his dead mother's war crimes while undergoing a series of trials that incarnate his own psycho-sexual anxieties in the form of terrifying existential riddles and grotesque body horror, intermixed with periodic battles against reality-warping monsters culminating in a confrontation with a world-devouring abomination from beyond the stars, and the other has giant robots."note 
  • Cardassians vs. Kardashians. Some gags are simply too easy. (Scroll down a bit for the pic.)
  • SuperMarioLogan:
    • From "Bowser Junior's Summer School 3", when Black Yoshi is called on for Show and Tell:
    Black Yoshi: All right, Folks. I brought my Call of Duty and my girl, Delilah, okay? She beautiful. She beautiful, okay? And then, uh, Delilah's cute, too, though.
    • From "Jeffy Has Kids!", after Jeffy Jr. dirties his diaper:
    Jeffy (to Mario): Uh-oh, Daddy! Looks like someone took a big shit in their diaper! And so did Jeffy Jr.!
  • From the Scott The Woz episode "Launch Titles", regarding the Nintendo 64's Launch:
    Scott: Mario 64 and Pilotwings 64. Sure, one is one of the most revolutionary games of all time, and the other is Mario 64...
  • When Anderson yells at Pip and Seras to get in a plane with him in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, he calls one of them a trigger-happy harlot. The other is a woman.
    Anderson: "And take your trigger-happy harlot with ya! And the woman!"
  • Michael Legge's Cosmic Shambles blog entry "There Isn't a Single Person Who Doesn't Like Queen" describes the band like this:
    They’re made up of four very different individuals: The camp one, the muso, the rocker, the quiet one, Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon.
  • Dzwiedz 24's review of The Ascent ends with this zinger:
    Dźwiedź: To sum up: if you want to bother with a horribly optimized cyberpunk shooter with RPG elements, magnanimously a bit cheaper than AAA titles... get yourself Cyberpunk 2077 at the next sale. Because The Ascent has absolutely nothing in its defense.
  • Freshy Kanal: After finding out that he has to battle Boris Johnson, The Penguin remarks "Is this matchup supposed to offend me? You put this criminal menace, mad, cynical mayor, the villain they credit with millions of deaths and pending AGAINST THE PENGUIN?!"

    Western Animation 
  • Animaniacs (2020): While stuck in a "Groundhog Day" Loop, Brain notes that his siuation is like "that awful repititive Bill Murray film [...] with that surly protagonist who somehow learns to 'change and grow' as a character after an endless array of monotonous scenes." He then reveals he wasn't talking about Groundhog Day, but Garfield.
  • Back at the Barnyard: In "Dummy and Dummier", Otis makes a ventriloquist dummy named Mr. Jinks for Freddy to use at the barnyard talent show. He uses the wood from a tree that a colony of termites were living in to make Mr. Jinks, and as retribution, the termites control Mr. Jinks. They start by insulting Freddy's friends and framing Freddy. One of the insults they give is "Why did the tubby, disgusting loser cross the road? To get away from Pig!"
  • BoJack Horseman: When Todd gets angry with Mr. Peanutbutter and bans him from his knockoff Disneyland, he says that the only "goofy dog" allowed at his park is Pluto.
  • From the Dan Vs. episode "The Wolf-Man":
    Dan: What wears shoes, but also has paws? The wolf-man!
    Chris: So you're saying that the wolf-man's a jogger.
    Dan: He's an evil beast with an unsavory bloodlust. Of course he jogs!
  • In Dragons: Race to the Edge, there's an example of a double bait-and-switch in a comparison: Snotlout looks toward Stoick (riding his dragon, Skullcrusher) and the aggressive Singetail behind him and remarks that he doesn't know which is worse: "that fire-breathing maniac or his dragon!"
  • Dr. Zitbag's Transylvania Pet Shop used this in the episode "Orang-utans & Lemmings" when the Exorsisters talked about Dr. Sidney Zitbag and his undead rabbit companion Zombunny. They state that one of them is a moron who spends all his time in a zombified trance...and the other is Zombunny.
  • In DuckTales (2017) when Donald Duck left Huey Dewey and Louie with Scrooge he warned, "Remember, no tricks, no lies, no trouble."
    Huey Dewey and Louie: Yes, Uncle Donald.
    Donald Duck: I wasn't talking to you!
  • Used in The Fairly OddParents! episode with Sparky's introduction, Jorgen, who works at the Fairyworld Pet Store where they find Sparky says "You don't want that one. He's not too bright". Timmy says that's not a nice thing to say about Sparky, but Jorgen says he was warning Sparky about Timmy. Then when they're leaving, Jorgen calls out "Good luck with the moron!" to which Timmy says "Thanks!". After they poof away, Jorgen comments "Once again, talking to the dog".
  • Family Guy:
    • From "The King is Dead", when Peter talks about finding a replacement actor to play Anna in The King and I:note 
      Peter: We don't need Diane Simmons. We've had someone better all along. [Puts his arm around Loretta's shoulders.] Someone radiant and sassy, with the soul and passion that can only come from hundreds of years of black oppression.
      Loretta: Thank you, Peter. I'll do it.
      Peter: Get over yourself. I was talking about me.
    • In "The Juice is Loose", O. J. Simpson comes to Quahog to visit the Griffin family, which attracts an angry mob led by Mayor Adam West. This exchange occurs:
      West: We don't want you in our town, Simpson! We don't love you like we did in 1993!
      Homer Simpson: D'oh!
      West: And as for you, O.J., we don't want you here either!
  • Futurama:
    • Inverted in the episode "The Lesser of Two Evils," which introduced Bender's Identical Stranger Flexo:
      Hermes: He's no worse than Bender.
      Fry: He's much worse! He drinks and smokes, and he posts naked pictures of me on the Internet!
      Amy: That's Bender all right.
      Fry: I'm talking about Flexo!
    • Also happened when Bender finds his girlfriend Angleyne having dinner with Flexo.
      Bender: You degenerate hussy! I'm disappointed in you too, Angleyne.
    • Also used in "A Head in the Polls" when it's revealed that Richard Nixon bought Bender's body which he pawned.
      Bender: Why, that backstabbing traitor! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon?!
  • Pinky and the Brain:
    • The episode "Your Friend: Global Domination": "This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth."
    • And again when Brain creates a sentient carrot and tells him and Pinky, "You two are the perfect team: a vegetable and a carrot."
    • Pinky gets a few in himself, this one particularly from the episode "Broadway Malady":
      Pinky: That night I witnessed the greatest performance I've ever seen in a theater. Then I watched Brain do his show.
  • The Simpsons:
    • In "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)," when Homer questions whether Marge is truly his soulmate because of their personality differences:
      Homer: We don't have anything in common. Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records! They stink!
    • Also in "Natural Born Kissers," when Homer is dangling from a hot air balloon and holding on for dear life:
      Sideshow Mel: Good Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!
    • Another example, when Ned Flanders and Edna Krabappel are dating and they knock on the Simpsons' door:
      Homer: Well, if it isn't the town schoolmarm... and he brought his girlfriend.
    • When Homer and Marge are drinking in Wine country.
      Homer: Pleasant aroma, rich, full-body, well aged and the wine's not bad either.
    • Homer even manages to do a variation where he doubles the punchline.
      Homer: Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie... Spaceballs. But instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.
    • In "The Fool Monty", Kent Brockman appears to be eulogizing Mr. Burns while reporting on his funeral... at first.
      Kent Brockman: A humanitarian. A philanthropist. A man of peace. These are among the people that have gathered at Springfield cemetery today to spit in Mr. Burns' grave.
  • In the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Chatterbox Gary", SpongeBob gets Gary a collar that allows him to talk to people. When he shows it to Squidward:
    Squidward: Why would you wanna talk to him?
    SpongeBob: Who wouldn't wanna talk to their pet?
    Squidward: I was talking to Gary.
  • Total Drama:
    • Duncan is asked why he picks on Harold so badly in "3:10 to Crazytown" and gives his answer in the confessional. Rather than outright say it, he opens with the hint that "she's about ye tall, has beautiful brown hair, and could tear you limb from limb." A shot later, he specifies that he's not talking about a bear, but about his girlfriend Courtney, whom Harold got eliminated the previous season.
    • In "2008: A Space Owen", Courtney asks Duncan for his pillow when she loses hers. He has to tell her no because he already has his pillow in use to keep his pet tarantula safe. Courtney airs her annoyance over Duncan picking Scruffy over her in the confessional, slyly noting that she hates that gross hairy creature and his pet spider too.
    • For the animal buddy movie challenge in "Top Dog", the contestants have to select an animal to train to reflect their personality. Courtney immediately calls dibs on the shark. This prompts Beth to enter the confessional and acknowledge that the two are a good match, because the only difference is that one would eat you alive in a heartbeat and the other's a shark.
    • Heather is one of the judges of the fashion show in "Can't Help Falling in Louvre". Her nemesis Gwen is one of the models and she happens to get dressed by DJ, who wants to lose. As such, he gives her his shirt and cap, which are ridiculously oversized for her, and shoves her on the catwalk. When it's time to judge, Heather seizes the opportunity to make a scathing verdict: "Dry, dull, uninspiring, not a hint of effort with the presentation. But enough about Gwen, the shirt was a 10!"
    • In "Caved by the bell", Bowie, asks in the confessional what has eight legs and is the worst thing on the planet. The audience is led to expect Bowie's answer to be the giant spider that he's afraid of, but he answers "four Julias" (his Arch-Enemy) instead.
  • In the Toxic Crusaders episode "Toxie Ties the Knot", Mayor Grody hears about Toxie being coerced into marrying the Smogulan princess Gerba to prevent the Smogulans from dumping trash all over Tromaville. He tells his secretary that Toxie's going to marry an overweight cockroach, causing her to reply that this occurrence is gross. Mayor Grody then remarks "Yeah, you'd think a cockroach would have better tastes".

    Real Life 
  • Barack Obama giving a speech about his dog:
    "So I've cut the tension by bringing a new friend to the White House. He's warm, he's cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic. You just have to keep him on a tight leash. Every once in a while he goes charging off in the wrong direction and gets himself into trouble. But enough about Joe Biden."
  • Legendary footballer George Best's line: "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
  • Rachel Maddow listed a few things about a certain president who supported illegal immigrant amnesty, bailed out social security, raised corporate taxes, tripled the deficit, and called for a world without nuclear weapons: Ronald Reagan.
  • A Canadian example comes from former Reform Party leader Preston Manning, who once asked: "What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a low-life, scum-sucking bottom-feeder... and the other is a fish."
  • When he started his career, Michael Keaton couldn't use his birth name (Michael Douglas) because there was already a Michael Douglas and a Mike Douglas in the Actor's Equity. He later said in an interview: "One of them is doing quite well from what I understand, the other is making cheap porn movies like Basic Instinct."
  • Rugby is such Serious Business in New Zealand that at the 2013 New Zealand sportsperson of the year ("Halberg") awards, the host introduced Prime Minister John Key and national rugby team coach Steve Hansen as "the man with the most important job in the country, and the Prime Minister."
  • A column filler in The Times:
    "A longboat full of Vikings, promoting the new British Museum exhibition, was seen sailing past the Palace of Westminster yesterday. Famously uncivilised, destructive and rapacious, with an almost insatiable appetite for rough sex and heavy drinking, the MPs nonetheless looked up for a bit to admire the vessel."
  • The paleontologist Fairfield Osborn said in 1941, "we should have no patience with those unthinking persons who rant that man in his present cruelties is reverting to primitive nature - to the so-called law of the jungle. No greater falsehood could be spoken. Nature knows no such horrors."
  • In Frankie Boyle's Guardian column, his Big Quiz of 2020 opens one question with "Scotland qualified for next year’s Euros after beating Serbia. Facing a team that grew up in a war zone in the 1990s, Serbia lost on penalties."


 
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R. Atkinson's Wedding Speech

From Rowan Atkinson Live, "With Friends Like These..." The just-married protagonist's less-than-sober new father-in-law makes his speech at the wedding reception, and gives a glowing review of Martin, "and I therefore ask the question, why the hell did she marry GERALD instead?" Things go downhill from there.

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