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Fanfic / Things That Can't Be Unseen

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Things That Can't Be Unseen by sasami-takarai is a Death Note meta fanfic where the Death Note characters discover Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us! and run a MST commentary on Fan Fiction.

Things That Can't Be Unseen provides examples of:

  • All Boys Want Bad Boys:
    L: Oh yes. My obsession with teenage boys is only eclipsed by my lust for serial killers.
  • Anatomically Impossible Sex: L would like to make a very important service announcement — cake is not lube and that is just blasphemy against good cake.
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  • Black Comedy Rape: In the Ryuk/Light fic Ryuk molests Light in his sleep.
  • Brain Bleach: The cast would like some to unsee what has been read—it's right there in the title.
  • Covert Pervert: Watari
  • Crack Fic
  • Dating Catwoman: Kira and L are disturbed by how often they're paired together.
  • Domestic Abuse: Matt has lost count of how many fics have had him be beaten and chained to the radiator courtesy of Mello.
  • Dumb Blonde: Misa and Mello share a blonde moment.
  • Even Evil Has Standards:
    Mello: Wow, I have to admit, I'm impressed. Who knew all it would take to unnerve the almighty Kira was a couple of pages of poorly written smut?
  • Everyone Is Gay: A good 95% of the time.
  • Hypocritical Humor: When Mello plans on making some "improvements" to the Sayu smut fics:
    Near: Do NOT encourage this sickness and for the love of God, nobody give Mello a pen.
    Misa: I have a book you can write in, Mello.
    Mello: Nice try Amane, I ain't stupid.
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  • I Take Offense to That Last One!:
    Mello: What do you mean, in character? What kind of character am I then?
    Near: Oh you know... A hermaphroditic, sexual sadist with a leather fetish.
    Mello: HEY!! I take offense to that! I am not a hermaphrodite.
  • Interspecies Romance: Ryuk/Light and Rem/Misa
  • Meta Fiction: this story takes place in the Death note green room after the end of episode 37.
  • Mr. Seahorse:
    Matt: Oh...oh this, I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Now how do people seem to think any if us could get pregnant? L,! The only thing growing inside of me is the retaliation of a four bean burrito.
  • MST
  • My Sister Is Off-Limits!: Light is sickened to learn that there is smut written about his little sister.
  • Noodle Implements: they find one fic where Matsuda has a threesome with Misa and Sayu in a wading pool full of baked beans.
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  • Oh Crap, There Are Fanfics of Us!: The entire premise of this fic.
  • Only Sane Man: Matt
  • Out of Character: Light and Near complain that they are victims of this.
  • Parental Incest:
    Matt: Guys, I think I found the coup de grace. I give you...Light and his dad.
  • Precision F-Strike:
    Light: Oh...oh f—k you internet. F—k you...
  • Really Gets Around: Mello is paired with everyone... except Misa. As if!
  • Revenge Fic: L believes the Ryuk/Light fic is one.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: In the Ryuk/Light fic.
    L: That has to be the best revenge someone could wish on you for getting me killed.
    Light: How do I know you didn't write it? This sounds like something that would come from your twisted mind.
    L: Because Raito, I have a firm grasp of the English language and more than a passing knowledge of basic spelling. I think I'm losing I.Q. points just reading this. "Teh unly thing that tast better then apples was Yagami Raito thought Ryuk the Shinigami as he lowered his hed to the sleeping boy. "Delishus" he said as he likked the murduers lips. Raito moaned in his sleep. The blanket sliding down as Ryuk reached for the boy's exposed skin. He traced the length of the boy's..."
  • Rule 34: Again, the entire premise of this fic.
  • Rule 63: Matt discovers a fic where L is a girl.
  • Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: Light, after discovering some of his less than perfect pairings.
  • Sick and Wrong: pretty much the reaction of the characters to their fanfics.
  • A Threesome Is Hot: In one fic Matsuda gets a threesome with Misa and Sayu.
  • Troll Fic: The Ryuk/Light fic
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: Matt throws up in his mouth a little.
  • Wife Husbandry: L complains about how frequently he's paired up with 15 year old children.
  • Wimpification: Light is the most frequent victim of this.


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