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Webcomic / Oglaf

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"This comic started as an attempt to make pornography. It degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately. Even so, there are some things depicted that are best kept away from children and work. Please click on the button below to certify you're over 18. Of course, if you are under 18, you can't legally certify anything. So if you're a minor, please get a parent to click the button which says you aren't. Thank you. (Taking moral advice from cartoon characters is probably a bad idea.)"
— Opening disclaimer

Oglaf is an often seriously NSFW webcomic by Trudy Cooper and Doug Bayne. Most of the episodes (called "stories") are single non-sequential pages, though some stretch out longer; the very first one was eight pages long. The comic started out as a gag-a-week work, but slowly started including longer Story Arcs, most of the time focusing on Ivan and his never-ending torment at the hands of Mistress and Sandoval, the Ambassador of Xoan. In addition to this there were the misadventures of Navaan, a sex-starved vampire who became a Back-Alley Doctor, and Grier, a no-nonsense lesbian mercenary. These arcs appeared to be (very) slowly coming together into a single overarching plot until they didn't and the series went back to its gag-a-week format.

Just a note: Click "Next page" to see the next page of a story. "Next story" to see the next story. The last page of each story has a small diagonal cutout at the bottom right-hand corner. Also, some stories have an epilogue that is behind a separate link.

Most strips are very NSFW; the strips that are work-safe are the ones slapped with a warning label. However, the comic also features many gags that are quite innocuous or just "immature" (beware of comics with labels like 'safe-ish', 'semi-safe' or 'safesque', however — they tend to be ones that are modest by Oglaf standards but questionable by work standards).

Definitely not to be confused with Olaf the Snowman, Count Olaf, or Olaf One-Eye.

Because the site has an SFW "Do you really want to see this content?" page, we allow links to the site, but do not link directly to NSFW comics.

Oglaf provides examples of the following tropes:

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  • Aborted Arc: Oglaf, Ivan, the Mistress, and their associated characters and plots pretty much disappeared less than halfway through the comic's run. Oglaf made a brief return, but there was no indication that he'd actually get around to doing anything of note.
  • Acquired Poison Immunity: Of course, when your job is as a poison-screening taste tester, such a quality may be good for your life but not your career.
  • Action Girl:
    • The adventurer Greir of Meltwater, Reward, Solstice and Ravine.
    • Kronar's "son" is able to tear apart wolves with her bare hands...a few minutes after being born.
  • Action Survivor: Ivan, out of necessity... until he's put in the magical coma. He may still qualify, though, since the spell was apparently intended to kill him.
  • Aesop Amnesia: Despite being told to do things piece by piece, the Sword Master's apprentice doesn't learn his lesson even after winning a fight with it. SLAP!
  • Afterlife of Service:
    • Hereafter has an emperor's tomb containing a golden barge (to carry him across the river), clay warriors (to fight off ghost crocodiles), and rubies (to bribe the guards of heaven). Those buried without these precautions are apparently eaten by the ghost crocodiles, which explains why the High Priest dumps the emperor's corpse outside the mausoleum, wraps himself in the burial shroud, and stabs himself, grinning all the while.
    • One possible origin for Sithrak is a king using the clay warriors he was buried to besiege heaven and defeat God (here depicted as a humanoid without a face), set his head on fire, and ram spikes where his eyes should be before kicking him down, resulting in the flaming-skull-headed nailed-eye-sockets Sithrak.
  • Agony of the Feet: "Hewing" has a pair of men decide to have a threesome with a tree to incorporate the job of one - after the fun, they look over and see a severed leg sitting on the bed next to the log.
  • All Are Equal in Death: The god Sithrak will supposedly treat everyone equally, by torturing them forever. He was the equivalent of a Moody Teen when he wrote that.
  • All Part of the Show: "God of Lies" has the would-be convert ask this after things go really off-the-rails.
  • All That Glitters: In "Delivery" this was used to subvert Save the Princess. The hero still gets to marry the prince in the end.
    Don't you see? The princess was you all along!
  • All Men Are Perverts/All Women Are Lustful: Considering the page quote, it should be no surprise that it's that kind of world, but there are a few exceptions. Notably, Greir seems to be more focused on other matters and Morag the Immortal only succumbs to this when mesmerized by the Funsnake.
  • All There in the Manual: The names of some characters, such as Greir, Navaan and Vanka.
  • Alt Text: Please note that each strip has not only an ALT text but also a TITLE text, both different. Which one you see when mousing over it is dependent on your browser — Google Chrome, for example, shows the Alt. Text. Only for the first few comics (which possibly didn't have Alt. Text) does the Title Text show up.
  • Amazon Brigade:
    • The Mistress' female guards in their revealing outfits.
    • The women in The Glamazon Way.
  • Amazing Technicolour Population:
    • The Land of Indulgence has one.
    • This also happens with the couple in "Rainbow Cake" who attempt to have sex "garishly".
  • Anachronism Stew: Heracles psyches himself up for his battle with the Nemean Lion with the promise of crack cocaine (which he then takes immediately, sharing with the lion).
  • Anatomically Impossible Sex: Parodied with two shapeshifters who use their ability for Power Perversion Potential but get some major details wrong. They seem to think that breasts inflate like balloons and it's the woman who is supposed to ejaculate.
  • And I Must Scream:
    • A wizard who transforms himself into a leather catsuit, and starts being eaten by a goat.
    • The 'statues' in "Pork Chisel", who are apparently being rented out by the guy who turned them to stone in the first place.
  • Androcles' Lion:
    • After Leon apparently saves the Talking Fox's life in "Brackenwife", it finds him a princess to marry...except the "princess" is actually a bundle of sticks in a dress. Which Leon is then forced to marry anyway.
    • Played to the hilt in a strip where a huntsman spares the life of a deer after it promises to return the favor. Then he spares the life of a rabbit on a similar promise. Then, days later and now haggard, he prepares to eat a cress sandwich... at which the sandwich begs him to spare it, and he keels over from starvation. Later on, the three of them gather around his grave and wonder if there was anything they could have done.
  • Animal Nemesis: This strip has an entire ship of obsessive hunters who are hunting the great white whale which took their legs.
  • Anthropomorphic Personification:
    • Of winter, obviously, but also of many more abstract concepts...most of which involve having sex with them. (It's that kind of world).
    • One character eventually seeks winter out to kill her for causing his parents to freeze to death. After failing to take her out (and her misunderstanding his intentions), he winds up having meeting with (and having sex with most of) the personifications of justice, enlightenment, hope, nostalgia, regret, inevitability, allegory itself, easy answers, and the birthday gibbon. Unsurprisingly, he's sick of the whole thing by the end of it.
  • Appease the Volcano God: In "The Magma Chamber" a young woman is shoved into a volcano as a sacrifice. A few seconds later she's spat back out to tell the priest that the volcano god is gay and wants "hot boy sacrifices" instead.
  • Art Evolution: Compare the character art in one of the earliest strips to one not that much later. Notice the difference in both outlining and shading, as well as character proportions.
  • Armor Is Useless: Which is why the orc army is adopting new Stripperiffic uniform standards.
  • Artifact of Attraction: Mistress' magic box that makes you desperately desire whatever's kept in it. She uses it to trick the Apprentice into utterly debasing himself with the Xoan Ambassador in exchange for a pinecone, only for the effect to wear off the moment he takes it out of the box.
  • Assassin Outclassin': The nameless protagonists of this strip see off their would-be assassins very competently, given that they're caught completely off-guard. But then, how capable can Gingerbread Assassins be?
  • "Ass" in Ambassador: Sandoval, who is no worse than Mistress but at least she is no ambassador.
  • Ass Shove: With a fire wand, no less.
  • Awesome, but Impractical: Pretty much anything built by the dwarves is going to be so over-the-top as to be worthless. Notable examples include a three-bladed sword the size of a plow that is designed to fuck your wife at night, a ring of bliss that instantly killed the user through sheer happiness, a chess-playing golem that "plays to fukken win" (read: it flips the board), a door locker that requires you to have sex with it, and something called a "cunt auger." That said, their attempts to make sex toys for dragons paid off, since being over-the-top when dealing with dragons is a good strategy.
  • Awesome Moment of Crowning: Remember that guy from Gifted? He's that good.
  • Baby as Payment: "Rattleplank" is a Rumplestiltskin parody that goes sideways when the woman proposes an alternative to her firstborn child:
    Fft. If it's kids you want, I've got 20 chained up in my basement. You can have your pick.
  • Back to the Womb: Played for Laughs in "Snakebite". Orpheus travels to The Underworld to rescue his wife Eurydice, but his mother's ghost accuses him of not visiting her enough. Then she turns into a giant vagina that sucks him in and causes him to be born again as a baby.
    Orpheus: ...Was I supposed to rescue someone?
  • Badass Boast: Vanka makes two (both about sex, and one with the accomplishment to match) in fingers.
  • Bait-and-Switch: "Bight" has a merchant selling very expensive "adventure rope" with a ramble about how using i.e. "rope for tying up cows" when climbing to escape fiends will ruin the psychological edge. Seems like standard Honest John marketing... until the adventurer DOES use it for climbing to escape fiends. The fiends realize that the rope is BDSM rope, and are distracted appropriately, abandoning their chase of the adventurer.note 
  • Balcony Wooing Scene: "Balcony Scene" features a man delivering lines of love to a woman on a balcony, in a Playing Cyrano scenario where another man hiding in the bushes feeds him lines. This being Oglaf, the two men end up together instead.
  • Barbarian Hero: Kronar is a Manly Gay version. It's parodied in "Dark Miasma", where his barbarian values apparently cause him to regard writing as sorcery, and even arrows as only borderline not-sorcery.
  • The Baroness: The Mistress is definitely a Sexpot, but depending on who you are (i.e., a very straight guy), her intentions might be nasty, placing her under the Rosa Klebb variety.
  • Bar Brawl: Subverted in "Ron the Brawler" - two individuals get "Big Ron, the ultimate tavern brawler" to fight with what appears to be three thieves. However, Ron turns out to be uncomfortable with fighting outside of a tavern since he's never done that before, so they all go to a tavern for a drink and Ron drinking with them leads him to still refuse to fight the thieves since "Nah, these guys are cool".
  • Bears Are Bad News:
  • Beast in the Maze: In the comic "The Labyrinth", a royal advisor is obsessed with building the king a labyrinth, which the King just gets annoyed by. Then someone walks in to inform the king that his wife has birthed a monster, to which the advisor begins smiling.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For:
    • In "Vorpal Blade", it turns out that having a cock enchanted so that it makes a woman orgasm instantly is not all it's cracked up to be since it means that sex is also over instantly. The guy cannot even get any satisfaction otherwise, since any touching of his cock causes orgasm (and then sleep) in any body part that touches it, including his own. Even walls and buildings fall apart when he tries to hump them for relief.
    • A plain young woman wished on the Wish Dolly for beauty and is now so beautiful that guys are too intimidated to bed her.
    • "The Slippery Nipple" has a genie grant a man his wish that everything he touched turned to tits. After enjoying himself with the novelty of this and ruining a party with it, he realizes just before trying that he is now unable to masturbate lest he turn his penis into a breast.
  • Bed Trick:
    • Planned in "Cornwalling", but then rejected in favor of a more practical alternative.
    • Also attempted in "Homecoming", but there was a change in plans.
    • Actually done in "Kronar takes a Toll", by the same wizard in "Cornwalling", who was apparently again told by his king to get fucked.
  • The Berserker: Suffers cruel discrimination in "The Pink Haze."
  • Best Her to Bed Her: Tall Sonja has taken an oath not to fuck anyone who has not defeated her in combat. Someone asks her if she has to beat herself up to masturbate. Unfortunately, her oath extends to pretty much everything.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved:
    • "Husbandry" treats this rather matter-of-factly.
    • "Hot Dots" has a man giving an explanation for why he fucked an ocelot. A guard gives him a look before telling him he still has to go to jail.
    • "So I will seduce... the crocodile!"
    • "intermission2" features a man who made a deer costume who gets another man to act as their "deer"'s front set of legs to ambush the prince while he hunts. They meet a male deer, who charges at them but the other man handles by pushing it in the face. When they meet a female deer, the man who made the costume "handles" them by having sex with them and the other man understandably questions if there was actually a prince at all.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: Just when you begin to think Mistress rules through nothing more than sexual deviance, odd devices, and a lot of willing retainers, this happens.
  • BFS: Possibly the only literal example.
    The Dwarves: It comes alive at night and fucks your wife!
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Averted in "Heterogeneous". The fair maiden in question seems relieved rather than disappointed when a centaur turns out to be endowed like a human instead of hung like a... well, you know.
    • Inverted in "The Yoke," where a nation's Cock Tax means that life is a lot worse for those with big dicks. The well-endowed start an uprising, only to be humiliatingly trounced and sent back to doing penis puppet shows.
  • Big "NO!": Believers in Sithrak have good reason to take deaths especially hard. Only not really.
  • Bizarre Nonhuman Biology: Inverted and Played for Laughs with the shapeshifters. Most of their jokes stem from the fact that while they can mimic human appearance expertly, they have no idea how human biology actually works.
  • Black Comedy: What happens when a necromancer poses as a priest...
  • Black Comedy Rape: Of all genders and species, by all genders and species. (Again; it's that kind of world.)
  • The Blank: The most beautiful fairy of all.
  • Blatant Lies: One of the random sentences above the comic is '"You'll be fiiiine!" I shouted as he fell toward the lava'.
  • Blessed with Suck:
    • Oglaf, the chosen one, has the power to... ejaculate in the form of words. Too bad he can't read.
    • The man in "Laundry Day", who wished to be unable to see cloth as a teenager. He can't tell whether he's dressed or not.
    • Perhaps the most literal example we'll ever find — a man "cursed" to be the world's best at blowjobs. The comic's world being what it is, his talent is exactly what's needed to defeat an enemy champion in single combat, repel the invading army, and become king.
    • Later on, we meet a man who thanks to Wish Dolly has the ability to make anyone he penetrates orgasm instantly... and fall asleep. Masturbating only gives him a "handgasm" and then his hand falls asleep. As you might imagine, he's quite sexually frustrated. He and King Blowjob face off in "Habeus Corpus" and Hilarity Ensues. He turns out to be too much for even King Blowjob, and finally orgasms by having his ass licked.
  • Bloody Hilarious: The comic features extreme bloodshed in the same way it features gratuitous sexual content and nudity: constantly, and played exclusively for Rule of Funny.
  • Bodyguard Babes: The Mistress's soldiers.
  • Books That Bite: The Book of Love. At least, it tries to eat parts of Ivan...
  • Boring, but Practical: The strip "Shrouded" has an elderly assassin talk about her days of tight leather outfits and parkour with a woman. She notes how as an eighty-four year old she is actually even better as an assassin and she just killed her guest with poisoned tea.
  • Braids of Action: Greir has the paired variety, hanging down from either side of her head. Interestingly, only her bangs are braided this way, the rest of her hair hangs freely.
  • Brain Bleach: A couple's response to the Tapeworm Goddess.
    • The response of God himself in "Leverage." He hates watching men having anal sex, but not as much as he hates watching slugs mate. Turns out being The Omniscient has its drawbacks.
  • Brainless Beauty: One of the random sentences above the comic is apparently pretty high up in the runnings as one, since 'If I were any more attractive, I'd be totally incompetent'
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: With a dash of I Take Offense to That Last One.
    Sexbakery Vendor: Have you tried our horse bukkake carob muffins?
    Customer: Eww... carob.
  • Breaking the Bonds: Kronar breaks out of a candle he was put inside while it was poured in "Dark Miasma".
  • Breast Expansion: Page 3 of "Young Adult Fiction" has warrior princess Lolita somehow go through pregnancy at a highly accelerated speed from having sex with a handsome man sent from an entrenched ruling class whose penis was "secretly full of babies". Befitting this, Lolita's breast size also increases as she becomes rapidly more heavily pregnant.
  • Brick Joke:
    • The wizard that transformed in "Cornwalling" reappears in a similar position in a more recent comic.
    • When Ivan refuses to go for the offered antidote and instead threatens to tell everyone that Sandoval poisoned him in "Premature Requiem", Sandoval sees this as romantic and offers him a locket as evidence instead. In "Infffirmary", we see two other patients showing similar symptoms to Ivan's, clutching lockets. Busy night, ambassador?
    • Ivan's tattletale jizz turned into one on at least two occasions. On a third occasion, Navaan is disappointed when someone else's fails to do so.
    • This is the entire point of the "Andrology" arc. It starts with a healer wrapping a patient's hands after administering a slow-acting cure for warts. When the patient asks how he's supposed to get by without the use of his hands, she assumes he's talking about masturbation because, she claims, if he goes three days without an orgasm, his balls will explode. He refuses to believe it, so she uses him as a test subject in an experiment to prove she's right. 30 days and several false starts later (don't ask), they finally do spontaneously explode. She begins celebrating her victory... and then he takes the gauze off his hands, revealing that the warts cure was a dud.
  • Brutal Honesty: In "Homecoming", woman sees her husband, apparently come back from war. The shapeshifter, rather than trying to hide it, drops the pretenses and flat-out admits that he's a shapeshifter disguised as her husband. The woman sadly replies that she appreciates his honesty...then cut to her appreciating it several more times.
  • Bungling Inventor: The dwarves, at least in the opinion of everyone else. The dwarves seem to be satisfied with the outcomes.
  • The Bus Came Back: Oglaf, the seldom seen title character, made a new appearance in the comic after over half a decade's absence.
  • Butt-Monkey: Ivan. His life is a never-ending series of humiliations by Mistress, the Xoan ambassador, and...well, pretty much everyone in the castle.

  • Call-Back: The portrait of the Mistress being painted later shows up in the room of tributes, flying skulls, severed cocks and all.
  • Cannot Keep a Secret: Used as a Spoof Aesop.
  • Can't Have Sex, Ever:
    • Ivan isn't even allowed to masturbate, lest he get in trouble. He did find a way around it, though.
    • The Snow Queen's biology makes it impossible for her to have sex because her partner will get badly injured or frozen to her, which is unfortunate because she needs to reach climax for winter to end. Even vibrators don't work on her because they get damaged by the cold. Fortunately, Greir figures out that she can have sex with her using a strap-on. The Fukken' Awesome Dwarves later provide a more permanent solution by inventing a cold-proof vibrator.
    • The protagonist of "Vorpal Blade" and "Habeas Corpus" due to Be Careful What You Wish For. He wished for the ability to bring any woman to climax instantly, only for this to mean that his partners get such a massive orgasm that they can't continue the second he enters them. The same applies to people who try oral sex, and even if he uses inanimate marionettes or a hole in the wall. He can't even masturbate because his arm somehow suffers the same effect and falls asleep. Fortunately it only applies to his penis and he can still get off to anal stimulation, which finally breaks the curse.
  • Cassandra Truth: Lapidary has the owner of the fortress claim his jism is priceless in an obvious attempt to hook up with the lady thief. Turns out said jism actually is priceless, as it's made up of rubies.
  • Cast Full of Gay: Chances are about even whether any given strip's characters will like boys, girls, both, or other.
  • Cast of Snowflakes: There's a new cast of characters in practically every strip, but they all look realistically different with enough distinctive features that one can easily identify the recurring cast members among the one-offs.
  • Cat Fight: When Vanka meets Greir in "The Rogue's Arsenal". Humorously, they both agree to skip the boring part at the beginning and go straight to the sex.
  • Caught with Your Pants Down: Not that Sticklebark actually wears pants.
  • Chainmail Bikini: It shows up, naturally, from time to time, usually to be gleefully mocked.
    • Parodied in Breastplate. Note the chest armor of the scowling woman beside him averts this trope.
    • Played straight in The Glamazon Way.
    • Justified in the NSFW strip Appeal to Heaven, where warriors (male and female) wear slutty armor to gain the favor of a goddess of war and sex.
    "Mighty goddess of sex and war, grant me victory in battle! For I am wearing armour, but it is very slutty armour indeed!"
  • Characterization Marches On: Greir's thing now appears to be that she hates fun, and doesn't seem to understand the concept. However, in her earlier appearances, particularly "Meltwater," she clearly had at least some idea what it was.
  • Chekhov's Gun: The Fake Death in the Fun God arc.
  • The Chosen One: Oglaf, the shepherd boy. It's just too bad he can't read.
  • Christmas Episode: Saturnalia, actually.
  • Cleavage Window: Invoked and parodied in "Oriel". A series of scenes where someone (or something) is apparently looking at the reader through an oddly-shaped frame is revealed to be them looking at a woman whose top features a large "boob window".
  • Cliffhanger: Rapunzel (resolved in the next week's episode).
  • Closet Key: What Greir of the Meltwater arc has become for the Snow Queen evidently.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander:
    • Many characters in the comic suffer from minor cases of crazy (with poor Ivan as the Only Sane Man).
    • The Xoan ambassador seems to be a very definite case.
    • Navaan seems to have taken the spotlight for this. Fruit Viking, anyone?
    • The Dwarves make many things, mostly uniquely weird and of dubious usefulness. They also may suffer a Logic Bomb.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Fucking fuckers. (Safe aside from the bombs.) This and building ridiculous sex toys is pretty much all the dwarves in the strip do.
  • Combat by Champion: Sexual combat in "Gifted 2" — which is won by a man who has been cursed to be the world's best at fellatio. All hail King Blowjob!
  • Combat Stilettos: Gender-inverted in "Plumes".
  • Comically Inept Healing: Navaan claims to be a doctor, but her healing methods include such questionable practices as putting an acorn in the stump of an amputated limb and stuffing it with dirt, which she thinks will grow a new limb.
  • Comically Missing the Point: One of the disciples of Sithrak dies and goes to meet his god — who tells him that the eternity of torture isn't going to happen and returns him to life so he can tell everyone to stop freaking out about it. The disciple tells his impressed friend that Sithrak is eviler than they realized — he plays mind games on humanity too.
  • The Comically Serious: Greir. She has a story arc where she tries to overcome her inadequate grasp of the concept of "fun."
  • Comic Sutra: The list of "the slut's" grotesque and amazing talents includes "combat ejaculation", "self-saucing (7 flavors!)", and "flang." This culminated in a literal comic sutra, "Ivan and Navaan's 'Doesn't Count' Kama Sutra," which illustrated sexual positions that allowed the participants to remain Technical Virgins. Published as a bonus to the graphic novel.
    • "Slodging", on the other hand, is shown on-panel. It's the sex act of getting stuck in things.
  • The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Played for laughs in "The Golden Songbird"; the more idealistic brother Tristam runs off with the Talking Fox to find the Golden Songbird, while the cynical brother Thessaly sulks at the ridiculousness of it all. Naturally, Tristam comes back with the bird, is greeted as a hero and wins his father's favour. Thessaly, annoyed at the smug fox, goes out and buys a pack of hounds.
  • Continuity Nod:
    • In "Infffirmary", you can see two men with masks and lockets.
    • Ever since "Hilting", Kronar has been depicted with no fingers on one hand.
    • In "The Golden Songbird", Thessaly states that they need to find a hot princess with a mouth like a sea anemone. Think the young lady from "Romance" qualifies?
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment:
    • Inflicted by Mistress on her underlings for various infractions.
      Punitive pearl necklace. Tits out, Captain.
    • Just before Kronar throws his infant "son" to the wolves, he makes her wear the "Bow of Shame." The bow survives. The wolves don't.
    • In "Exhale" a man is tied to a torture rack... that contorts a person into yoga positions.
    • The reoccurring barbarian king (from "Skulls") "Ssssss" has a man tossed into a Snake Pit. The snakes don't bite him, but they can talk and promptly request him to leave because it's supposed to be a snake-only pit and unfortunately he can't get out of the pit since snakes hate ladders. Awkwardness ensues, which the king revels in.
  • Cosmic Plaything: All of the soldiers of the Mistress's guard and the Mistress herself love torturing Ivan. One of the guards then starts to talk about how she finds him cute and decides to have sex with him. She is killed by the Arrow of Regret shortly after she proclaims that.
  • Crapsack World: Sexy, but crapsack. If not outright horrible fantasy things are happening in a given comic, it's still likely that at least some kind of highly annoying or plain weird fantasy thing is happening.
  • Crazy-Prepared:
    • This guy, although he probably shouldn't have revealed it.
    • Vanka, who even booby-traps her own vagina in "The Rogue's Arsenal".
  • Crying Wolf: The wolf got him.
  • Cunning Like a Fox: A trickster Talking Fox with a disarmingly stupid-looking perpetual grin.
  • Cursed with Awesome:
  • Cute Is Evil: The theory behind this is mocked ruthlessly in "Scroll Work".
    You think you're being ironic, but it's just facile contrariness with no actual point to make.
  • Cute Little Fangs: Navaan. Her friends also have them, though "cute" may be stretching it a bit when paired with Slasher Smiles...
  • Cute Monster Girl: Mercilessly parodied in "Dimorphism", when one of the mushroom men questions why male monsters always look believably weird or inhuman but the females always look like scantily-clad women wearing monster-themed accessories.
    • In A Distant Light, there is the Sexy Snake Lady, who is attacked by the Sexy Mongoose Lady, who is attacked by the Sexy Shark Lady.
  • Cuteness Proximity: Servants of the Mistress who fail to do what they're told tend to either die or wish they had. Her response to seeing her infant horror try to rampage, however, is, "Hahaha! Look at it go!"

  • Faerie Court: The Xoan Ambassador is a elf-like man with many fair folk traits (capriciousness, unreal beauty, tendency to kidnap people) who represents the royal court of his country.
  • Failed Attempt at Drama:
  • The Fair Folk: Tall, pale, long flowing hair, pointy ears, beautiful features, capricious nature, lusty, enjoys tormenting mortals... Sandoval is some sort of elven noble, and not the "nice" kind.
  • Fairy Sexy: The pixies from The "Cleansing" provide sexy facial washes for customers. Unfortunately they're not very bright...
  • Falling-in-Love Montage: Anyone under the influence of the "Potion of Girlfriend" has one of these with a fetching redhead named Felicia.
  • Fanservice: Well, it was originally a straightforward attempt to make actual pornography, before the author got bored and turned it into a sex comedy strip. Although the reverse occurs equally as often.
  • A Fate Worse Than Death: Mistress is fond of coming up with these - at least when her laser-falcon doesn't ruin them.
  • Faux Horrific: One comic deals with an empire that has set up "surrender camps", where enemies who surrender supposedly get sent to a tropical paradise with good food, happy events, and regular sex parties. A Viking, however, claims that "don't listen to them, those camps are a nightmare"... because he got sent to a heterosexual camp despite being gay, due to all the reservations in the gay camp being filled up, and he was offended at their suggestion that a bisexual camp would be enough to tide him over until one opened up.
  • Faux Yay: Mistress' guard corps, according to the Lizard of Guilt. Not that it seems to make a difference...
  • Fingore: Kronar lost all the fingers on his right hand after holding on to a sword by the blade to insert the hilt in the anus of a guy. He still kicks ass.
    "Leave it in the scabbard"
  • Fish Eyes: The dwarves are sometimes drawn with these ("Brass Knobs", "tool", "Ring of Bliss", "Cavalcade of Wonders"). Also the talking fox.
  • Fisher King: The Snow Queen, as satisfying her seems to bring about the start of spring.
  • Flaming Sword: "Hot Cold Steel" has one. Like lighting an actual campfire, it can be bit finicky and take a while to get going, and when it's set ablaze it kills its owner via the giant fire.
  • Flat-Earth Atheist: The Monks of the Temple of Luck believe that the universe was created by random chance, so they worship luck. This is revealed when Morag announces her presence and her affiliation to Sithrak, a god. There have also been sightings of many other gods, all of whom exist somehow.
  • Flock of Wolves: Shapeshifters assassinate the king... who had been replaced by a shapeshifter of the same race, which one guy awkwardly recognizes.
  • Foe Romance Subtext: In "Burning Jewels of Death", where Kronar is tied down by another character and his mooks, demanding Kronar's "submission". Kronar makes his escape through strength and brutality alone and is regarded as magnificent for doing so.
  • Forced Creativity: Played for Black Comedy when a poet's new Muse adopts an unusually violent interpretation of "inspiration strikes", leading to a desperately productive year.
    Muse: So are you going to write some poems or am I going to tear your balls off and hunt ostriches with them?
  • Forced Transformation:
    • One princess finds a frog in the forest with a sign saying "Kiss Me". She does so, and the frog turns into a bear that immediately mauls her. The whole thing is apparently a practical joke. But she gets the last laugh by bringing a frog, kisses it, and throws it to the pranksters where it immediately turns back into a crocodile mid-air.
    • Subverted in "Husbandry". A local farmer had been telling the rest of the town that a wicked sorcerer turned his wife into a goat, so when one day a disenchanter shows up who can lift the curse, he is forced to admit that he lied and is really just a goat-fucker.
  • Fountain of Youth:
  • Fridge Brilliance: An in-universe example from Greir in this strip. "It Takes a Fake Death to kill a fake god. And you figured it out." This moment is subverted soon afterward, however.
    • Further brilliance: The monks worship luck, and their faith was rewarded.
  • From Zero to Hero:
    • Subverted with the titular character, a humble shepherd boy who is apparently The Chosen One and destined for greatness, but he never realizes his destiny due to being illiterate and thus unable to read the prophecies.
    • The Blowjob King starts off as an ordinary low-ranking soldier and adventurer. After being cursed to be the best at blowjobs, he uses his skill to save the kingdom from invaders, ending the war and becoming king. Later on, he also saves the kingdom from a guy whose sexual powers are causing destruction.
  • Gag Penis:
    • Parodied in "Good Behavior".
    • Also in "The Yoke", where a rebellion happens after a 'cock tax' is instituted. It doesn't go quite as planned.
      Turns out that being well-endowed is no guarantee you're good at tactics.
  • Gallows Humor: Literally, in "Dangle", with Gerta the "erotic executioner".
    A crowd stares in horror on finding that Gerta has been having sex with a man while he's being hanged, as per his wishes.
    Gerta: What? This was his idea. [to his corpse] C'mon—back me up here, buddy.
  • Gender Bender: The wizard in "Cornwalling", and also the effect of the Fountain of Girl. The nerds in "Babes of the Abyss" had this as the price they paid for getting to sleep with sexy devil girls - becoming a sexy devil girl themselves. None of them seem that broken up about it, or maybe they just got used to it.
  • Generic Cuteness: Suprisingly averted. A variety of looks and body types are on sexy display, compared to most erotic comics where every woman would look like Vanka.
  • Genius Ditz: Navaan. She is perceptive enough to notice things such as disguised statues and is even able to understand specifically how to deal with a severed immortal's head without lungs despite believing that the function of a doctor is to "solve mysteries."
  • Genius Loci: Parodied in "Sanctuary."
    What's a region need to do to get recognized in this town?
  • Genre Savvy:
    • Monks from "Lapis Lazuli" weren't until they were taught a very painful (and sexy) lesson.
    • The travelers in "Naiads."
  • Get Out!: The potion seller.
  • Gladiator Games: Played with in "Sport" when the emperor decides to Take a Third Option.
  • Glamour: Deconstructed here.
  • God Guise: The malevolent god worshiped by the fools' cult is an inversion; a real god disguised as a fake god according to one of its followers. It looks like a bunch of people in a lousy costume when it's actually a very real and very dangerous deity. An immortal warrior found this out the hard way and lost her sword and everything below her neck for her troubles.
  • God Is Evil: Several cases appear, although Sithrak for one turns out to be merely careless, despite the certainty of his believers.
  • God Save Us from the Queen!: Parodied in "Reflections", which features a queen with a Magic Mirror who gets so distracted when she uses it to compare all the "fair babes" in the kingdom ("Wow, she's so pretty. Don't you think she's pretty?") that night falls, and she remembers too late that she was supposed to be opening a kindergarten that afternoon.
    Queen: Are they pissed?
    Magic Mirror; They're calling you the "Wicked Queen", ma'am.
    Queen: [glumly] Well that's just really hurtful. They don't realise how hard my job is.
    • Later, in "Warts", she decides to take the Wicked Queen thing seriously and poison Snow White, so decides to disguise herself as a crone, but then gets distracted while browsing through images of hags.
      Queen: [disguised as a hideous crone; to Snow White] Hello little girl, would you like an...
      [Beat Panel]
      Queen: You're not going to believe this. But I was so busy with other things I forgot to poison the apple.
  • Good Angel, Bad Angel: "Treat Yourself" features a variation, with just a singular red devil that is consistent in its little and rotund appearance encouraging four different people to give into the excesses of pigging out on desserts, wearing very-bejeweled clothing, going on a bender, and having sex with an attractive man. It succeeds except for that last one, where the lady ended up taking "Don't fight those urges" to mean murdering him.
  • Gone Horribly Right: Only for the wizard—he went back in time to cure a plague, but because he'd done so, the reward he'd been offered was never in place to begin with.
    • And an army besieges an elven castle, threatening to launch barrels of cursed waste at them unless they surrender. It goes as well as one might expect.
  • Gone Horribly Wrong: In Failsafe, a king's subjects take the mask of power, break it into seven pieces, hide the pieces throughout a labyrinth and set a twelve-legged beast to guard it. Soon afterwards, the beast himself reassembles the mask and escapes with it.
  • The Good King: King Blowjob. He rules over a "peaceful fellatiocracy," throws himself without hesitation on a sexually-frustrated man in the middle of a "cock rampage," and spares no effort to free the man from his condition when he realizes a curse is behind it.
  • Groin Attack:
    • The Giant Cockbats, though not in the traditional fashion.
    • If a man attempts traditional sexual intercourse with the Snow Queen, he...suffers.
    • A knight in "Golf". With an arrow. Twice.
  • Guy on Guy Is Hot and Girl on Girl Is Hot: Both occur with equal frequency. Exaggerated in "Ship to Ship".
  • Guys are Slobs: Implied in Dark Miasma, as one of the titles the extra-manly Kronar thinks of himself as the magic of the sorceress' scented candles is beginning to overtake him is "Frequent bather".
  • Hates Everyone Equally: According to his followers, Sithrak, the god who tortures everyone forever after they die, regardless if they're good or evil. He wrote that when he was very angry and is surprised to learn that anyone still reads it.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Sithrak has mellowed out considerably and is hugely embarrassed to learn that people still think he's the God of Evil, comparing his writings on "eternal torture" to teenage poetry.
  • He-Man Woman Hater:
  • Heroic Sacrifice: At Brave Beef Butchery, they only serve meat from cows that died heroically.
  • Hoist by Their Own Petard:
    • The Mistress discovers the drawback of the cumsprite curse she put on Ivan when he gets captured and uses it to pester her incessantly until she pays his ransom.
    • In Haft, the Ass Murderer (a would-be ax murderer with an ax in his ass) winds up killing himself after falling down a short flight of stairs and lodging his own ax in his head (and claim his first victim).
    • In "Remains of the Day", the Curse wraith inflicts a curse on a man where his orgasm will splash on the face of the person he's thinking of at climax - so he resolves to think of the Curse wraith from then on. In a double-twist, the man becomes unable to climax without thinking about skulls, but luckily there are clubs for that... but the prices there are outrageous! And guess who owns the clubs...?
  • Holy Halo: "Foresight" has a unique explanation for them. They come from circumcised foreskins.
  • Homosexual Reproduction: Kronar's bloodline has been free from woman's taint for a hundred generations, with shades of Mister Seahorse and No Man of Woman Born, as well.
  • Honor Before Reason: The Master of Slutty Disguise is capable of Latex Perfection-level disguises, but he also always dresses in a sexy version of the outfit of whoever he's impersonating. This makes the disguises rather useless, but he believes if he dressed as a non-slutty version, then he would be selling out.
  • Horrifying the Horror: In "Beot," the Grendel expy is shocked at finding the mead hall full of hacked-up corpses.
    "What the fuck happened here?"
  • How Dare You Die on Me!: Parodied in "Yeah, bye" where the dying man accuses his lover of trying to guilt-trip him out of dying and it turns into a big argument. Then he dies.
  • Humanoid Abomination: For a given value of humanoid. Complete with tentacles.
  • Ice-Cream Koan: The incarnation of Enlightenment in "Justice":
    Enlightenment: Questions are sand in a bowl of rice. Poverty is the daughter of the silk merchant.
    Man: I'm not stupid, you know! Just because I don't understand you doesn't mean I'm stupid!
  • An Ice Person: The Snow Queen seems to be a personification of winter, or to be tied directly to the season itself, as satisfying her sexually is apparently necessary to bring winter to a close. The problem is that her body is so cold that trying to be intimate with her carries serious risks as if one was trying to be intimate with a block of actual ice. She is nonetheless an adorably kind and considerate person, always polite and genuinely terribly sorry when one of her pretendants gets wounded. Also, her reaction to being assaulted and repeatedly stabbed is to assume it's foreplay and apologize for not getting into it.
  • Ignored Epiphany: In "The Golden Songbird", Thessaly seems to be on the cusp of learning his lesson about idealism and humility after his brother returned home with his quest done due to the trickster fox's help... then he decides to buy some foxhounds instead.
  • I Know Your True Name: Because I've just changed it. That's the power of appellomancers, name wizards: they change someone's name and consequently their nature.
  • I Love the Dead: "Danse Macabre" is about a necromancer giving tips for how to adjust to your home being overrun by a plague of the undead, mostly focused on sexual relationships.
    When dating a mummy you may start to find beef jerky erotic. Best not to mention it.
  • The Immodest Orgasm: Taken to its logical extreme and further in "Fresh Horses."
  • Immortality Hurts: The Immortals aren't immune to injury at all, though they do at least seem to have a very high pain tolerance. In "Rise of the Funsnake" Morag is beheaded and only able to describe how it happened when somebody blows air up through her severed windpipe. Word of God says she's still just a head. Seeing how badly the Funsnake mangled her corpse, it's likely that the beast ate it.
  • Impossible Thief: Vanka, most notably in "Fingers."
  • Incompatible Orientation:
    • The Ambassador has made several advances towards the Apprentice, who definitely prefers women. This seems not to bother the Ambassador at all.
    • The bounty huntress Greir seems to be ladies-only but has been hit on at least twice by men (one a shapeshifter who quickly and awkwardly attempts to rectify the situation).
    • Then there's the supposedly straight woman in "Memory" asking to do "hetero girl-on-girl."
  • The Informant: Ivan's curse is that his semen comes to life and runs to tell the Mistress what he's been doing.
  • Innocent Bystander: The unfortunate female guard in "Shaft", who gets the Arrow of Regret in the throat.
  • Insane Troll Logic:
    • Eating the world's most beautiful woman does not make a crocodile the world's most beautiful woman.
    • Two adventurers get trapped by an owlbear, and the male adventurer who had studied herbivores decides to deal with it in the only rational way - out-breed it, because at least some of their offspring would live. The female adventurer thinks it's a great idea, only for the owlbear to successfully turn the man off by saying un-sexy words, foiling their plan.
      Woman: No wonder it's the apex predator.
    • When a devil bear steals your wife, the proper recourse is to steal the devil bear's wife. Obviously.
    • In "This Could Happen," the disciples of Sithrak go proselytizing: "God hates us unreservedly!" "So why shouldn't a woman in a blonde wig fuck a door-to-door evangelist in front of his dorky friend?" (The comic's world being what it is, they actually get some takers!...not quite like how they imagined, but they rolled with it. Until some guy wanted them all to be tied to the post while watching two dogs have sex with the blonde wig on the bitch)
  • Insult to Rocks/Insult Friendly Fire: After slaying the fun god, Greir addresses its cultists...
    Greir: If they ask about fun, tell them fun is a filthy parasite.
    Navaan: As a parasite, I take offense to that.
  • Interface Screw: When Fungod's aura works on the current character-in-focus, the panel borders become heavily distorted and the image itself distorts too.
  • Interplay of Sex and Violence: In "Teumessian Fox" (NSFW), a sword fight between two warrior women quickly devolves into sex. One of them points out they should finish their fight, so they start it up again in the nude, but just go back to having sex.
  • In-Series Nickname: A lot of characters are never formally given names and are only referred to their nicknames such as "Knobguy" who also goes by "Wrecking Ball" when it turns out he can destroy walls by making them orgasm.
  • It Amused Me: The philosophy behind most of Mistress's actions. For example, she hires apprentices with the promise that she will teach them magic. Instead, she torments them sexually, subjects them to many humiliations and kills them off regularly. Ivan's predecessor is killed for going behind the Mistress' back by trying to actually teach himself magic. He gets a fire wand activated inside of him.
  • It's All My Fault: The Lizard of Guilt, appropriately enough.
  • It's Always Spring: In "Tool", due to the dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator and giving it to the Snow Queen.
  • It Was with You All Along: "Don't you see? The princess was you all along!"
  • I Was Quite a Looker: Subverted in "Fountain of Girl."

  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Greir is fond of the direct approach — like tying people up and punching them until they tell her what she needs to know.
  • Jerkass: Thessaly's a cynic, and he's not nice about it. He once caused a rebellion because he exasperated at sex slaves not doing their job after they rhetorically asked how may they pleasure him.
  • Jerkass Genie: He'll grant any wish, but will cut off your legs if you don't make the one he wants you to make.
    • And now, his colleague, Wishing Dolly.
  • Jerkass Gods:
    • If the sacred texts of the cult of Sithrak the Gibberer are to be believed, Sithrak is downright Evil. Then one of them dies, and it turns out that Sithrak was just going through a phase when he wrote that stuff. However, the fact that he left his sadistic adolescent wangst lying around with the status of holy writ does make him a bit of a jerkass, though in his defense, he didn't think anyone was still reading it. He even revives one of his followers, asking him to clear up the misunderstanding. Unfortunately it doesn't work.
    • "Assorted Fruits of Wrath" features an Old Testament-esque god who is marked by his fondness for Loony Laws, such that his faith bans (among other things) mixed fabrics, winnowing with a fork, and opening the wrong end of a banana (it's unexplained which end that is). When he wipes out his own followers in a massive firestorm of punishment, the enemy commander claims that it was only a matter of time.
  • Jump Scare: Touch of Fear features a woman with whom sex includes creeping existential dread, the illusion of being torn apart by monsters, and jump scares.
  • Just Like Robin Hood: Parodied here. He steals from the rich, all right, and he kinda gives it to the poor, but his methods of distribution are a bit... self-serving.
  • "Just So" Story: This wide-eyed youth seems fond of telling them. Referenced by both the comic title, "Just So," and the Title Text which gives his name as Rudyard.
  • Kill and Replace: Parodied. In one strip, shapeshifters assassinate the king...only to realize he was already a shapeshifter in disguise. Awkward.
  • Knights and Knaves: Add Exact Words and season with a pair of unscrupulous merchants, and you get this
  • Lame Pun Reaction: In "Hurly-Burly", three Hot Witches read a man a prophecy that he will be king in a very... exhibitionist way. When he, uh, gets a little too into observing the reading, they announce that he will be "Wank-King" and disappear, laughing. As much as he enjoyed the setup, he was not impressed by the pun.
  • Lawful Stupid:
    • Ulric the Just. If a devil-bear steals your wife, Ulric will dispense justice... by stealing the bear's wife for you.
    • In Forgofulness, a paladin passes a Secret Test of Character (by keeping her vow of chastity) and is told that the reward is having sex with the girl sent to tempt her. The paladin continues to refuse, requiring a personal appearance by God telling her to start fucking already.
  • Leave No Survivors: Kronar plays with this here. Unfortunately, he cannot quite seem to get the terror of it right.
  • Leotard of Power: Shows up on occasion with Hysenforth, in addition to the skimpier version.
  • Limited Special Collector's Ultimate Edition: There are two editions of "Book One": the regular edition, and a signed edition with a hand-drawn bookplate inside the front cover featuring the character of your choice. The signed edition costs $10 extra and actually is so popular that extra character options have been added over time and often end up sold out.
  • Liquid Assets: Any wound dealt to the Invincible Shield Maiden will instead appear on the person who inflicted it. A clever knight has sex with her, allowing him to literally screw himself at the same time.
  • Literal Genie: In "Red Leather, Yellow Leather", one of the women tries using the power of her magina (a magical vagina that grants a wish when she orgasms) to help them escape prison when they are captured by reprobates. The other woman is skeptical of it, having never seen it be useful since her elocution is incomprehensible when she orgasms. When she does so, all it does is create a Fglraaaghrtr.
  • Literal-Minded: A shapeshifter, trying to palm Greir off with sex in lieu of a reward, asks her what her type is. When she replies "I'm after a hot woman — voluptuous — head is a big bag of freaken' gold!", it obliges. Its attempts to talk dirty suggest it thinks she has a Money Fetish.
  • Little Miss Badass: Kronar's "son".
  • Logic Bomb: A simple one, but then the dwarves aren't the most sophisticated creatures around.
  • Loony Laws:
    • The strip "Assorted Fruits of Wrath" has a crusading army get blown away by its own god for violating a scriptural law about not opening the wrong end of a banana (no mention of which end that is).
    • In the strip "Don't", the town magistrate has to explain to the townsfolk that all the new signs forbidding things like "sex during thunderstorms" and "trimming your beard" aren't loony laws, but loony curses. The community spectre they're stuck with is a spiteful sort.
  • Lousy Lovers Are Losers:
    • Parodied in the strip "Afterglower", where the man who is really bad in the sack and so self-absorbed that he not only thinks he's good in bed but cares so little about his partner that he didn't notice he was male.
      Disappointed Man: You are really bad in bed.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Nah! I'm awesome in bed.
      Disappointed Man: See, this is part of the trouble. You're so far from good you don't even realize there's a problem.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Aw, come on! You loved it! You were all whimpering and shit!
      Disappointed Man: Crying. I was crying.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Heh. Women.
      Disappointed Man: [doing a Double Take] Are you honestly so self-absorbed that...
      Self-Absorbed Man: Shush. Sleep time now.
    • The strip "Submission" has a play on the "women are dead fish" type of lousy lover, where a woman propositions another while claiming she's a "submissive" in bed because she doesn't want to do any of the work. The other woman isn't impressed.
      Blonde Woman: I'm submissive in the sense that I don't want to do any work or take any responsibility. So to dominate me, you'll just need to do everything I want. Usually before I know I want it.
      Brunette Woman: So when you say "I'm submissive" you mean "I'm lazy and demanding".
    • A guy in some random town is known to be a Sex God, but every girl who sleeps with him realizes that he's a lousy lover who leaves them unsatisfied. He just made a carelessly worded wish that every girl he beds would spread the word that he's a Sex God.
  • Love Potion:
  • A Love to Dismember: Salome is still at it apparently.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: Weaponized, sort of.
  • Magic A Is Magic A: Discussed in "Claret", where a man with a broken leg is confused and annoyed by a healer who needs to know just how damaged his leg is rather than casting Heal and being done with it. The healer explains that rather than all magic users just spamming spells, they all need some knowledge of the thing they're about to do—even a wizard who spams lightning.
  • Magic Skirt: Notably averted in comics dealing with Kronar, who wears a rather dangerously short Loincloth. Whenever he's in a fight, the fact that he's Going Commando is easy to see.
  • Male Frontal Nudity: The comic's not shy about showing it.
  • Manly Gay: Kronar. It's probably not a coincidence he's always on top in whatever sex acts he gets up to. The former part getting tested is basically the plot of "Dark Miasma". He feels no shame over how he dressed and what he used to defeat the sorceress because feelings are for women.
  • Manly Tears: Kronar, after seeing his "son" tear apart the wolves in the pit she was thrown into.
  • The Man They Couldn't Hang: "Full Throttle" provides the current page image.
  • Mantis Mating Meal: A male mantis suitor starts arguing with a female mantis about the odds of her eating him during sex. He eventually bargains her down to 1 in 20, but she still eats him. After all, five percent isn't "impossible".
  • Mars Needs Women: Subverted, in "Human Women." They appear to not know what a human woman really is.
  • Master Poisoner: While having tea with a guest, an elderly assassin reminisces of her old days of skin-tight leathers and grappling hooks, but notes that she's an even better assassin these days, given her judicious use of distraction and poisons. Cut to her guest, slumped over and dead.
  • Matriarchy: Of the Sexy variety.
  • Meaningful Name: What you'll get stuck with if you insult an Apellomancer. It won't be flattering, either.
  • Measuring the Marigolds: In "Clustering," a guy tries to seduce a forest spirit with a graph showing that she is numerically as mysterious as she is beautiful. She's not impressed.
  • Mermaid Problem: Averted, lampshaded, and discussed along with Non-Mammalian Mammaries in the Isle of Tits storyline.
    Fish-folk breed by spawning. Why would they need tits?
  • Mind Control: Probably more examples in the archives, but in "Frog 2," a woman is "cursed to be a slut" by a witch. A very forward thinking witch, it seems — when the traditional kiss-to-cure trick is tried by a local maiden, it turns out it's a case of Viral Transformation, too.
    • As of the 8/26/12 update ("Slut Virus"), it seems that things have progressed around the kingdom's populace to the extent of Zombie Apocalypse levels... a very sexy zombie apocalypse...
  • Mister Seahorse: In Kronar's all-male line, this would be the case. We actually see one of them giving birth.
  • Moment Killer: Everyone, in the strip appropriately titled "Moment".
  • Morality Pet: Subverted by the Lizard of Guilt.
  • Morton's Fork:
    • The Ambassador tricks the Apprentice into eating a poisoned cake then offers him to suck the antidote off his penis. Turns out the antidote was poison too. Refusing doesn't save the Apprentice any suffering in the end.
    • In "Rite of Passage", kids are given a rite of passage to adulthood. If you do what you are told, you will be bitten by a venomous bog beast and die in a terribly painful manner. If you refuse, you pass. If you pass, you are offered another "rite of passage" (yes, with another bog beast, and in an equally painful manner as the last). If you pass again, you are given a treasure chest. If you open it, you die because it has a bog beast in it, but at least it'll go for your face first. If you refuse... well, we don't know what happens then, but judging by the pattern, it'll include a bog beast. In summary, "Aah, kids. Fuck 'em."
    • In ""Gifted," a man is cursed to give the best fellatio in the world. If he uses his talent, he'll just be "the blowjob guy"; if he doesn't, he'll have to live with the knowledge that he has an awesome talent just going to waste. The spirit is proven right when the man tries to say he is now a world champion at something, only to remember what the spirit said and sadly say "nothing". And later subverted when he finally uses it and becomes King Blowjob Guy.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Most of the dwarves' inventions.
  • Mundane Solution: How Greir satisfies the Snow Queen. You can't give her oral because your tongue will stick and a penis will freeze off inside her. Solution? Strap-on over a very thick coat.
  • My Eyes Are Up Here: Parodied in "Snakeskin": The gorgon's face turns people to stone.
  • My Own Grampa: Subverted when Oedipus is convinced by his mother Jocasta to impregnate her (and two other versions of Jocasta) with himself. It turns out that he kept his father's "equipment" and used it as a substitute.
  • Nature Abhors a Virgin: Not explicit but in this world, virginity seems to be both rare and something you're better off without.
  • Navel-Deep Neckline: Vanka usually wears a dress with a deeply plunging neckline, which she often uses to tease or tempt others as she can easily open it to expose her breasts, such as in "Fingers".
  • Only Sane Man: The King from "A Very Deep Chasm" spends most of his appearances meting out irritation with the insane people and grifters who keep turning up at his court.
  • Operation: Jealousy: Spoofed in "Envy." A woman wants to sleep with a guy to make her friends jealous. The guy thinks this isn't a very nice thing to do, and after listening to her justifications, sleeps with "a much nicer woman, disguised as you" in order to make both the woman and her friends jealous.
  • Orifice Evacuation:
    • Ivan's semen turns into a Cumsprite whenever he ejaculates. After being so cursed, he manages to get fellatio. The predictable happens, but the woman (a virgin vampire) declares it to be adorable.
    • Later, the phrase "bring out the goddess in me" takes on a whole new meaning. The tapeworm goddess comes out of a woman's mouth this way after she engages in sex with a man; upon offering them each a wish, the couple asks her for Brain Bleach.
  • Orifice Invasion:
    • The alien doctors' cleansing polyp. (It only goes in the mouth, but it's clearly still unpleasant).
    • We don't know exactly where the lubeworm goes but it's presumably this trope as well.
  • Out with a Bang:
    • One of the more unusual plays on this you're likely to find—Ivan's spooges end their "lives" by splashing on (so far) a woman's face or breasts.
    • When you are a male praying mantis, odds are good this happens.
    • By "Trouser Snake," Navaan's career as a "doctor" has progressed to the point where she cajoles sex out of the dying because in the worst case scenario, isn't that how you'd want to go?
    • Subverted when it appears that Oglaf himself apparently died in a massive explosion after participating in actual, legitimate, sex, but was revealed to be alive in the next strip. Said next strip has he and his partner causing a volcanic eruption with their sex, so...
    • A man who's about to be executed for treason asks if they the town does "erotic executions", so they assign him to Greta, an executioner dominatrix who proceeds to ride him until he suffocates in the noose.
    • Played with in "The Spoom" where a young man gets himself lost in the woods owing to holding his map upside down and thinking because it seemed like 'sperm' and 'doom' put together, he’d get fucked to death if he went in there. While he does end up hooking up with the man who'd pointed out his error with the map, it ends up being said other man who pops his clogs at the moment of climax.

  • Painful Transformation: In the two-parter "Butterflies", a man ends up being persuaded to buy a sex-change potion only to find that the process involves him bloating and forming a blob-like chrysalis while his body dissolves and restructures, just like an insect. Even worse, it's an 8-month-long process...and to top it off, even though it works perfectly, she decides she's not her type anymore.
  • Parental Incest:
    • Double Subverted in "Branding". Princess Fatherfucker was cursed with that name by an "evil appellomancer".
      Suitor: So... you don't fuck your father?
      Princess: Err... yes... but it only started happening because of the name.
    • An especially bizarre version occurs in "Jocasta loves Oedipus" where he somehow ends up getting convinced to engage in a four-way with three different versions of his mother (Time Travel and You Can't Fight Fate was involved). He then reveals that he tricked her by preserving his dead father's cock so he could impregnate her with himself.
  • Perp Sweating: With a sunbeam. Of course, when the "perp" has dire reason to avoid sunlight, this is more threatening than usual.
  • Perverse Sexual Lust: He's using that potion wrong.
  • Petite Pride: The Mistress is rather small and Greir is also modestly endowed, but they never complain about it, and commenting wouldn't be wise in either case.
  • Plague Doctor: Navaan.
  • Playing Cyrano: With a twist in "Balcony".
  • Plot Detour: Navaan falls victim to one. Given the nature of the "fun" in question, this could potentially double as Distracted by the Sexy.
    Navaan: Why did nobody tell me this was on?
  • Poisoned Chalice Switcheroo: The Xoan Ambassador tries to pull a poison penis switcheroo on Ivan.
  • Poke the Poodle: Occasionally we see "evil" characters commit acts of laughably petty evil just for fun. "Hoops" has a mildly evil disembodied head trick a man into thinking she's concealing her breasts inside a barrel. He's OK with how it at least wasn't an eviler disembodied head.
  • The Pollyanna: An adventurer named Umbra Wynterdarque becomes one thanks to a Ring of Optimism. Highlights include him thinking a wand that killed a fellow adventurer was just a "wand of faking your own death."
  • Porn with Plot
    • Word of God is that the comic started out as an attempt to make pornography until it "degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately."
    • Discussed here.
  • The Power of Friendship: Deconstructed in "Hefty Grogol". Apparently, it's better to be friends than to be enemies because it's much easier to stab your friend in the face than your enemy.
  • Power Perversion Potential:
    • Invincible Shield Maiden, though she doesn't seem too happy with it.
    • Two shapeshifters are shown to use their abilities to open a brothel, but they're apparently a bit out of touch with how human sex actually works.
  • Power Stereotype Flip: The Snow Queen is An Ice Person who needs to be "satisfied" for winter to become Spring. She is incredibly nice with a caring personality.
  • Precious Puppy: "40 tonnes of kibble" depicts The Bible's Noah falling prey to this trope, rescuing heaps of dogs on the Noah's Ark instead of two of every animal because all the other animals "are just not as good as dogs". Noah attempts to continue his current plans by dressing the dogs up in animal costumes.
  • Precision F-Strike: Although the comic is loaded with swearing, one particularly precise example appears in the punchline of "Also, Elves."
    "Dead" Elvish Prince: For fuck's sake.
  • Pretty Princess Powerhouse: A young version in "Princess Party". She wants the same things many little girls want; playing with animals at petting zoos, candy, et cetera. She gets those things by leading troops into battle to take them by force of arms. Her rival also qualifies.
  • Pun: Apparently part of a fertility rite during "Standing Ovulation":
    If you do dad jokes during sex, it proves to god you're ready for children so you're way more fertile.
  • Public Execution:
    • In addition to the hanging in "Full Throttle" above, a bard is beheaded for a series of murders in "No Regrets". He rematerializes behind his own headless corpse, much to the headsman's confusion.
    • In the two-parter "Dangle", a condemned man asks for his hanging to be sexualised and the executioner obliges.
    • A botched version in "Necking": the man condemned to be shortened complains that his headsman is drunk, as evidenced by his 'test swing' managing to take off a guard's head by accident. The annoyed headsman allows the criminal a chance of hacking off his own head, only for him to miss his own neck completely and decapitate the headsman instead.
    • In "Fieldwork", a young man tries his hand at being a spy and attempts to infiltrate an enemy nation populated by hot people (despite being told the enemy would spot him a mile off). Unfortunately, he gives himself away by asking for state secrets during the middle of an orgy. Cue the young would-be spy standing on the gallows with a rope around his neck.
      Failed spy: I wish I’d spent more time learning spycraft, less getting hot.
      Hot hangwoman: Nah, we’d have spotted you a mile off.
  • Pun-Based Title: One comic featuring Vanka is about a sucker in prison and the power of believing that nothing can go wrong. The title of the comic is "Conviction".
  • Put on a Bus: Ivan. He's in a magical sleep.
  • Quirky Doctor: Navaan, being a Cloud Cuckoolander and at first not even knowing what a doctor is. Even later on she has a deranged idea of how to practice medicine, when she isn't just sleeping with patients.
  • Rage Against the Heavens: It works pretty well if you arrange to be buried with terra cotta soldiers.
  • Rage Quit: The Automaton, a chess-playing golem.
  • Ragnarök Proofing: In "Gravity Loves Masonry" a monster in a dungeon chooses to alert two adventurers to a booby-trap that would cave tons of rubble onto them because his job is to reset the trap, which means having to put literal tons of rocks back up. He also stays at the end of the hallway in case they don't believe him and activate the trap or kill him as a dungeon monster.
  • Reality-Breaking Paradox: Happens in "Evensong," where a monk prays to God to answer this prayer by not answering this prayer.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Ivan gives a pretty good one to the ghost of the Lizard of Guilt. Unfortunately for him, no one else can seem to hear it (or they just ignore it) so it sounds like he is giving the speech to the Mistress moments before she decides to execute him. Doubles as a crowning moment of awesome as that's the first time that Ivan has really stood up for himself.
    Ivan: Shut the fuck up! You had a one-note life and dumping your inane shit on me won't change that, you worthless fuck!
  • Revolving Door Casting: Anyone who appears to be a major recurring character is reduced to making far and in between appearances or just disappears from the comic completely.
  • Rebellious Princess Incognito: "Princess activities suck!"
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni:
  • Refusal of the Call: Appropriately in the strip titled "The Call". A woman refuses a quest to save the world in order to pursue her own hobbies. The strip ends with the world destroyed. Might want to consider taking the call when the stakes are The End of the World as We Know It and you plan on continuing to live in that world.
  • The Reveal: The Funpire is none other than Navaan, an actual vampire.
  • Riddling Sphinx: Parodied in "Stumper"; the Sphinx plays charades instead, but isn't very good at it.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons:
  • Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory: The "Chronotherapist" goes back in time to cure a plague before it starts, and then tries to claim the Standard Hero Reward. The queen, naturally, doesn't know what plague he's talking about. Out of pity he's offered a downgrade to "a handjob and a hot meal".
  • Robbing the Dead: Played with in "Halter of Versatility", where two swordswomen are fighting and one of them expresses interest in the other's top, leading the owner of said top to invite her opponent to take it off her body should she win. The top-owner is ultimately decapitated, and when she is revived, she's annoyed to find that her opponent made good on the offer, leaving herself without a stitch above the waist.
  • R-Rated Opening: More like "NC-17-Rated Opening"— the very first storyline features Ivan graphically masturbating and ejaculating out a "cumsprite" that splashes itself on the Mistress' bare chest, which the Mistress responds to by making Ivan give two naked succubi a sponge bath. Reportedly the comic was originally planned to be a straight porn work, hence the incredibly explicit tone of that first story, but it grew into a raunchy comedy instead.
  • Rubber Orifice: The trope shows up from time to time in sexual or quasi-sexual contexts, for quasi-surreal/squick comedy purposes. Those strips are of course inevitably NSFW. "Skin Tight" is an extreme exaggeration; the man wants to "get up inside [her] like a sweater" so he puts his head and arms inside the woman's body, and the woman wants to "slip [him] on like tights and go for a run" so she puts her legs and butt into his and proceeds to go jogging.
  • Rule of Funny: Although most episodes are NSFW, the gratuitous nudity and sex play second fiddle to this.
  • Sacrificed Basic Skill for Awesome Training: "The Pointy End" depicts two swordsmen who have trained endlessly since their childhoods. After they realize this, they stop their soon-to-be fight and eventually fall in love...which ends in them fighting anyway because neither of them knows how to have sex (and they apparently didn't bother to dress up after the failed lovemaking either). The surviving winner, of course, tells the dead one that he was "...really good. I'm not just saying that."
  • Sadistic Teacher: Mistress is made of this trope. Her students are treated as less than dirt, and she curses her student Ivan with sentient sperm that tattles to her when he breaks her rule, which includes not being allowed to have sex or even masturbate, although she still keeps him around numerous hot women in little clothing, just for laughs. That is the light stuff she puts him through.
  • Scenery Censor: Atypically given how NSFW the comic usually is, "Treat Yourself" shows a man pigging out on desserts while naked having his crotch covered to the reader's view by a plate of desserts in front of it.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: "Morning Breath": Sleeping Beauty is awakened, but as a royal who has been asleep for a century, she has some extremely outdated ideals and is so unable to adjust that she decides to go back to sleep permanently.
  • Scheherezade Gambit: Deconstructed. Apparently, if you leave the Sultan in suspense, he might do the same to you.
  • Schmuck Bait:
    • Subverted in "Blue Door" and "Book of Love". Played straight and lampshaded in "Glove". It should be noted that the schmuck in all three examples is the same guy, although he only falls for it the third time, and even then, he was pretty sure it was a trap from the start.
    • In "Lair of the Trapmaster", the explorers find themselves in an empty room with nothing but the word "Overthinking" painted on the wall. They stay there the rest of the strip wondering what it means. (Subverted? Played straight? Who knows.)
  • Science Is Bad: Parodied by a now-overheating passerby due to dwarves inventing a cold-proof vibrator for the Snow Queen. "Yeah, spring used to mean something before technology ruined the world." This involves a Brick Joke: said passerby appears to be Ari, who had previously tried and failed to satisfy the Snow Queen in "Snowbound". Given that he lost his cock to frostbite in the attempt, it's little wonder he'd be bitter about how easy it's become.
  • Screw Destiny: Apparently, you can't fight destiny... unless it's your destiny to fight destiny. When you try to fight fighting destiny by not fighting destiny... you get a knife in the throat from a pissed-off seer.
    No way am I letting that little shit become king.
  • Screw Yourself: The sorcerer's duplicate phantasms do this in "Mirror Image". According to the phantasms, the sorcerer usually jerks off while they do this.
  • Scrubbing Off the Trauma: In "Shaft", Ivan accidentally kills several guards and a monster the Mistress really liked with the Arrow of Regret. He gets the monster's blood on his hands throwing its corpse out the window, and can't get it to wash off no matter how much he tries, as the Lizard of Guilt reminds him.
  • Secondary Character Title: The titular Oglaf has shown up maybe a handful of times in the entire comic.
  • Seductive Mummy: Parodied in this strip, featuring a group of decaying, decrepit mummies posing provocatively and spouting bad pick-up lines.
    Mummy: I'm naked under this bandage.
  • Serial Escalation: In-Universe in this comic. Two warriors in a bar make Badass Boasts on how they will defeat a monster while handicapping themselves, each one more outrageous than the last. It gets to the point that the monster arrives to terrorize the bar and finds everyone inside dead from cutting themselves and everyone else apart to fulfill their bravado.
  • Sex Comedy: In webcomic form.
  • Sex God:
    • King Blowjob, of course.
    • There's a subversion with a guy who manages to score a lot because he's renowned for his sexual prowess among the girls in town. In fact, he asked for a spell that makes the women he's been with incapable of saying anything other than praise of his performance; he's actually pretty lousy in bed.
    • Another man had the infamous wish dolly enchant his penis to make women orgasm instantly. Unfortunately, he discovers that no one can last enough to reciprocate—not even his hand!
    • A genuine example with a woman who won the trophy for "Best At Sex", narrowly beating her partner. Though she's hoping to get the trophy for "Best At Puns" as well.
  • Sexual Karma: Inverted in "Glindr," in which it is stated that "good people are always the worst at sex." This leads to overhauling the justice system such that people who are bad at sex can be declared "Not Guilty."
  • Sexy Dimorphism: Parodied in Dimorphism, where all females of all sentient species look like attractive, scantily-clad human women while the males are all different... except for humans, whose males look disturbingly similar to the females. It must be some bizarre perversion, so Kill All Humans!
  • "Shaggy Dog" Story: Several, particularly the whole arc that starts with "Shaft" and seems to end in "Wake" on the words "stupid f'ing town". Justice/Atonement is another example.
  • Shapeshifter Baggage: Examined in "Weeping Woods".
  • Shapeshifting: They aren't too well versed in human behaviour, unfortunately.
  • Shapeshifting Seducer
    • A hilariously unsuccessful attempt on Greir.
    • A forest nymph seems particularly inclined toward seducing and assuming the shape of wayward princes, which backfires when it turns out one of the victims wasn't entirely honest on an important point.
    • Another shapeshifter happens to be successful, despite his Brutal Honesty.
    • Yet another Shapeshifting Seducer works as a Super HeroDopplebanger.
  • Shoot the Builder: In "The Virgin Cobbler", a cobbler who claims her legendary skill at boot-making is linked to her virginity gets deflowered by a client, per this trope. She buys a potion of virginity restoration and gets right back to work — the joke being that the potion's just sugar water and making good boots is just skill and practice.
  • Shoplift and Die: Pay to Win. The Chosen One figures he has a right to just take a 500 gold sword out of a shop, ignoring the shopkeeper's threat. The prophecy about said Chosen One ends there.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: Ivan to the Lizard of Guilt.
  • Single Tear: A guard, enduring Vanka and another woman (who is now a recurring character) in a cell crudely mocking him.
    This is an enormous slur on my professional conduct.
  • Sir Swearsalot:
    • All of the fukken dwarves have fukken limited vocabularies.
    • Fishmongers are also this. They apparently get this from their quarry. It is unknown where the fish get their foul language from.
  • Situational Sexuality: Most of Mistress' all-female guard corps are not lesbians, but it doesn't seem to bother them.
  • Skewed Priorities: In "Meanwhile in Hell", a damned soul is being sawed in half by a demon, healing from all of his wounds right afterward. Eventually, they start to experiment in how many different ways he is getting carved up, both enjoying the experience to the point of the demon having anal sex with the soul as he is getting sawed in half horizontally. A different demon cries out that they can't do that anymore, only to be fine with it when the soul admits that it is consensual.
  • Skull Cups: Parodied in "Skulls!", which provides the page picture. A barbarian king demands wine in the skull of an enemy. The wine runs out the eye holes so he commands his men to find him an enemy with no eyes. They find some kind of giant worm ... which turns out not to have a skull.
    King: So thirsty...
  • Slapstick:
    • When Ivan is kidnapped, Mistress is convinced the hard way to pay his ransom — constantly having his animated semen splatter on her face until she caves in, just to stop him from masturbating.
    • Greir is on the receiving end in "The Rogue's Arsenal". Vanka, having been captured by Grier, challenges her to "trial by fuck". Just when things are getting really spicy, Vanka sprays Grier in the face with ink from her vagina and escapes.
  • Snake Oil Salesman: One of these shows up in "Quacksalver", claiming that his (actually poisonous) medicine can cure anything. When he gets arrested, he chugs a bottle and announces it can even cure jail and he'll be out of prison before dawn. He's proven correct when he succumbs to his own medicine within hours and his body gets thrown into a shallow grave.
  • Snakes Are Sexy:
    • The snake from "Hibernating With Strangers", which seduces the guard in an attempt to gain access to the secret room. Hilariously Subverted in that it's not a sexy snake-woman or naga or the like, it's an actual non-anthropomorphic (but talking) snake with an incongruous large pair of Non-Mammal Mammaries, but it's still treated as irresistable In-Universe.
      Guard Captain: Nah, everyone fucks the snake on their first day. I mean, look at it.
    • Zig-zagged with the medusa from "Snakeskin", which is not a Gorgeous Gorgon, but still has tits nice enough that the adventurer she's attempting to petrify won't take his eyes off them to look at her face.
    • The Sexy Snake Lady from "A Distant Light" (shortly before she gets killed by the Sexy Mongoose Lady... who then gets killed by the Sexy Shark Lady). Unlike the medusa she has legs.
  • Snake Talk: The inhuman staff of the infirmary at the Mistress' castle speak like this.
  • So Beautiful, It's a Curse: A Gaussian Girl finds her newfound beauty is not all it's cracked up to be when no suitor considers himself worthy of her beauty.
  • Sold His Soul for a Donut: Santa Claus gets children to swear their souls to him in exchange for toys while they're too young to know better, and then enslaves their spirits in his workshop after they die as adults.
  • Spare a Messenger: Played with in "Survivor". First, Kronar murders everyone in a village except one guy and tells him to spread the word about his power. The guy proceeds to boast to the people in a bar that Kronar has gone soft since he let him live. When they laugh, Kronar bursts in menacingly. All of them hurriedly claim that they would make the best messenger because they'd write the greatest songs or so forth. Kronar decides that they will display their talents and he will choose the best. One of the guys snickers at the idea that Kronar is holding a talent contest. Kronar finally snaps. Cut to two men looking at the smoking and destroyed pub from outside:
    Man 1: What could have done this?
    Man 2: We'll never know for sure. No survivors. Even some of the trees have been stabbed.
  • Speed Sex: Thanks to the Wish Dolly, one man was capable of making anyone and everything cum instantly (read: people, walls, puppets, his own arm) in "Vorpal Blade" and "Habeas Corpus".
  • Stable Time Loop: Averted in "Voop", which has a man so fast that he can go back in time to stab the grandfather of the man he's talking to to prevent his birth. The man he's talking to says he shouldn't do that because he saved the world a few years back and preventing his existence would probably make the world all apocalypse-y. The time-traveling man doubts that no one else could save the world in the world savior's absence, and returns back to a grim After the End-like setting.
  • Standard Fantasy Setting: Albeit a highly eroticized version. A handful of strips do seem to take place on Earth, however.
  • Start My Own: After Robin Hood refuses to rebrand the Merry Men as "the Pussy Gang", the pussy-obsessed woman he's attempting to rob declares she's going to start her own Pussy Gang and show him up. She succeeds.
  • Stealth Hi/Bye: Vanka escapes from her cell after flirting with the guard outside her door. She stole the keys from him in a similarly sneaky manner.
  • Stealth Pun: Kronar's line about his bloodline being free from woman's taint for a hundred generations.note 
  • Story Arc: Even though this is a gag-a-week webcomic with vague storylines, we now have several arcs, sometimes broken up by other gag strips.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: "Owlbear". Upon being cornered by the eponymous predator, a man decides to out-breed it so their offspring will survive. His female companion thinks this is a brilliant idea. The owlbear anticipates this exact plan and starts saying mood killers so they can't procreate.
  • Stranger in a Familiar Land: Averted in "Felicity". Apparently, turnips are just that awesome.
  • Stripperiffic:
    • The Mistress and her servants dress very provocatively.
    • Justified in the case of the Invincible Shield Maiden. She exposes her vulnerable areas because any wound on her appears on whoever inflicted it, instead.
    • In "Appeal to Heaven", devotees of the Goddess of Sex and War appeal to her for victory in battle by wearing extremely revealing armor and acting as slutty as possible.
    • Downplayed with the Chronoturge in "Erstwhile". Her outfit is quite modest above the waist, but her skirt has big slits in it, showing her thighs.
    • "Battledress" features a dungeon you can only enter while wearing a revealing outfit, and the further you go, the more revealing the outfits get.
  • Succubi and Incubi: Mistress's pair of captive succubi. It's not (yet) known what they would do if she ever unchained them. One of Ivan's duties is to oil their naked bodies twice a day.
  • Sufficiently Analyzed Magic: The main character in "Double Blind" is going from oracle to oracle, simply asking them what he has in a sealed envelope and rating the resulting answers so other wisdom-seekers can decide what oracle is right for them.
  • Super Sex Organs:
    • A man who claims to have priceless semen in "Lapidary". When he's proven himself to be utterly pathetic by having no gemstones, only rocks painted with glitter, Vanka gives him pity sex and finds he actually does ejaculate rubies.
    • "Honorable Discharge" creates a god of way too much cum. The man orgasming at the time is still ejaculating after six hours, and the god can't tell his partner how much longer it will last because he's new.
  • Surreal Humor: Some strips (usually multi-part ones) take the form of bizarre sequences of random events with insane logic (not the troll kind) that make no sense and plot elements that are never explained. Examples include "Young Adult Fiction", "Hibernating With Strangers" and "Biology".
  • Sword and Sorcery: Strips about Kronar, Son of Man, are over-the-top parodies of such stories.

  • Take That!: "Naiads" includes a rather hilarious jibe at Mountain Dew in the alt text.
  • Taken for Granite:
    • "Snakeskin" shows one way to avoid it.
    • Terrifyingly played straight in "Pork Chisel" with the still-conscious statues.
    • Might also apply to the guy in "Noblesse Oblige"—he's magically stuck for a long time, and from the fact that his pose doesn't change between panels, he may be magically paralyzed as well.
  • Tamer and Chaster:
    • Because you can't post explicit nudity on a Patreon page anymore, the Oglaf Patreon posts SFW (but sometimes still dirty) parodies of their NSFW strips with the nudity blocked out and the jokes changed to fit (such as 'Duckopalypse', where they changed the 'i' to a 'u', and arguably has an even funnier punchline).
    • The comic itself, to a lesser extent, gradually moved this direction over time. It started as an attempt at pornography, turned into a Sex Comedy the moment it began, and broadened into a wider range of fantasy jokes as time went on. Oglaf still has plenty of raunchy moments, but they're no longer the singularly defining element of its comedy.
  • Tar and Feathers: Happens to an unfortunate face-stealer in "Prince Rodgar" after imitating an impostor.
  • Tarot Troubles: Parodied in "Cartomancy", in which the reader has removed every card except 'Death' and 'The Lovers' in an effort to make her readings more dramatic. "In a portentous moment, you don't want to draw 'Three of Cups' or something." Naturally, he draws the three of cups. So the reader gives him three cups, and pretty much says she more or less uses this minimalist deck to get laid.
  • Teach Him Anger: The titular Sword Master of "The Sword Master" strip returns with his apprentice again. This time he seeks to teach the apprentice anger for a tournament after they watch attractive women bathe, reasoning that being out of their league is highly frustrating... by telling him to masturbate to a picture of his opponent Lucius Bonecrusher until he finds him attractive? It seems Lucius practiced this as well, as at the tournament they both just blushed and started kissing each other instead of fighting. The Sword Master, outraged by his apprentice not fighting, enacts his training for himself upon the apprentice.
    Sword Master: Hey! What do you think you're doing? I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP, BOY!
    (Beat Panel as he pulls out a picture of his apprentice)
    Sword Master: Just give me a month.
  • The Tease:
    • The blonde with the hat (who as of yet still remains unnamed) takes this up to eleven. Her first appearance involved her mocking a prison guard through a (clothed) sexual display with Vanka. Subsequent appearances have her teasing male lovers with outrageous demands and unorthodox fetishes, such as requiring them to state a ''preamble'' before engaging in coitus.
    • Mistertique is a Gender Flip.
      • Mistertique and Blonde-With-Hat hooked up for "Consummate". BWH insisted that Mistertique describe in graphic detail all the ways their lovemaking could go wrong, ruining the mood for him.
  • Technical Virgin: The in-universe definition of "virgin" tends to be pretty strict:
    • An entire city of them!
    • Ivan himself is identified as a virgin, but he by his own admittance is constantly having sexual things done to him, just nothing that breaks the technical status of his virginity. The castle doctors express concern his lack of sexual experience might end up killing him.
  • Temporal Paradox: In "Chronotherapy", a healer goes back in time to heal a plague before it ravages a kingdom, then returns to the present to claim his reward from the rulers. Exceeeeept, since there was no plague in the first place, the queen has no idea what she's supposed to be rewarding him for.
  • Tertiary Sexual Characteristics: If a man in Kronar's tribe gives birth to a daughter, they affix the "bow of shame" to its head and leave it to the wolves.
  • Testosterone Poisoning:
    • Kronar and his fellow warriors are very masculine, so... they reproduce by themselves, shun women and are gay.
    • "Feral Chic" has a barbarian talk about civilized women's love of barbarians, which they can never reciprocate with lest "the hard-edge steel saddle song" die in their heart. And after they start having feelings, they have to slit their eyes, walk off into the trackless wastes...and have a big wank. Apparently, there's so much dried barbarian spunk in the trackless wastes it's starting to look like tracks in some places.
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: Kronar thinks scented candles are sorcery. He is 100% correct.
  • That's What She Said: A man abuses this toward an orator inspiring him and his fellow troops before battle. The man's use of the phrase "That's what the nymphs said" actually aren't very effective Double Entendres, but he got cheap laughs regardless. This enrages the orator to charge him with his axe, and actual nymphs mention afterward that they probably all died in the battle.
  • There Was a Door: Mistress' guards leave the gate open just to screw with assassins who are overly fond of Le Parkour.
  • This Looks Like A Job For A Dentist: Overbite, though the dentist was just as surprised as everyone else it worked.
  • Thinking Out Loud: "The Moment" has a woman admit she laughed at a guy's awful jokes to have sex with him just as she has it, a man being crowned admit he's betrayed, went into a loveless marriage and lied constantly for it, and a female bandit mention the uncomfortable preparation and waiting being for "now" after succeeding in robbing a coach with a gang. She takes it back after another bandit asks if it being all just for the moment means they can't spend their stolen money, and the gang then shells out on ice cream which the female bandit regards that as "the actual moment", and mocks a young boy that her's tastes so much better because she murdered someone for it.
  • Thin-Skinned Bully: The dark lord in "Big Bad" is brought to tears by a wizard insulting his oufit.
  • Those Who Fight Monsters:
  • Thread of Prophecy, Severed: In a strip inspired by The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, The Chosen One enters a weapon shop and tries to take a legendary sword without paying for it. The shopkeeper threatens to give him a Crossbow of Annihilation to the back of the head, the Chosen One call his bluff, and we cut to a party of adventurers wondering why the book of prophecy is just blank pages afterwards.
  • Threat Backfire: The vampire Navaan tells Ivan that she's going to kill him... but first she's going to have sex with him. When his response is a delighted smile, she backs off in confusion: all her other victims have been lifelong virgins for whom sex is a genuine Fate Worse than Death.
  • Title Drop: In "Suddenly", Oglaf, where we learn that the full title is (possibly) The Magical Adventures of Oglaf the Shepherd Boy.
  • Tongue on the Flagpole:
  • Too Dumb to Live:
    • The guy that slew the minotaur had some... odd ideas about how the ball of yarn would help him escape the labyrinth.
    • After Kronar leaves a man alive to tell the story, the man later calls Kronar a wuss for doing so. When Kronar hears and decides to kill him and his friends, leaving only one alive, they still can't resist teasing him about it. So he kills them all...and torches the tavern they're in...and stabs a few nearby trees.
  • Too Kinky to Torture:
    • Ivan — at least, Navaan seems to think so. Considering that this happens in an entire city populated by virgins who are terrified at even the possibility that someone sexually promiscuous might be running about, Navaan probably expected such threats to elicit a somewhat more fearful reaction.
    • The deer-girl in "Quivering Flanks" only has sex after running herself to exhaustion, and the hunter suggesting increasingly-serious injuries does nothing but turn her on more. It ends with her falling off a cliff and breaking her leg, but wants to have sex over having her compound fracture treated.
    • "The Flaming Wheel" portrays a man punished in hell for the sin of liking butts too much. They try to give him the Ironic Hell treatment of being crushed by enormous sweaty asses, but he's of course Too Kinky to Torture.
  • Torture Technician: A pair of them, each In Love With Each Other's Transgression.
  • Totem Pole Trench: A tournament is won by a bunch of babies in a suit of armour in "Bascinet".
  • Treants: The comic has occasionally featured an unnamed tree-species. Their males look like Treants while their females are humanoid Plant People.
  • Tricking the Shapeshifter: Whoops.
  • True Art Is Angsty: In "The Odyssey", Homer describes Odysseus "Stabbing monsters! Tricking idiots! Banging hot witches all day!" to which a listener rhetorically asks if he's fourteen. Homer then tweaks he's still saying "Stabbing monsters! Tricking idiots! Banging hot witches all day!" but Odysseus says "I miss my wife" at that last one, earning a thumbs-up and declaration of "Fixed" from the previous listener.
  • True Art Is Incomprehensible: invokedMistertique and the Cougar Queen have an argument along these lines regarding "the secret of [his] man-pants!"
    Mistertique: See? You cannot plumb the depths for sheer enigma!
    Cougar Queen: It's not an enigma if there's nothing behind it. This is just wilful abstruseness.
    Mistertique: [Beat] There's no shame in admitting you don't get it. Seriously.
  • Turn Undead: Though not the kind of "turning" you were thinking.
  • Twincest: In "Dearest", the first sign that the "Felicia" hallucination is beginning to break down is when Ivan sees that his hot wife has given birth to a pair of tiny adult women who are making out with each other.
    Felicia: Oh Alex, look! I had twins! And they're totally hot!
    Ivan/"Alex": Wait! Wait! Wait! I don't think she's real. Hang on. [Beat Panel] Oh fuck.
  • Underboobs: The Snow Queen's outfit, presumably for easy access since almost all of her appearances have her welcoming someone into her boudoir, and considering what has to happen for spring to come around.
  • The Unfair Sex: In Oglaf's rendition of Genesis, Adam isn't allowed to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, but Eve is. Might have something to do with the fact that the fruits are phallic and have to be milked for their nectar.
  • 20 Bear Asses: Apparently these are suggested by some jackass.
  • Unflinching Walk: Greir, Navaan, and the monks pull one of these off after torching the temple of fun.
  • Unfortunate Name: Apellomancers can intentionally give these to people. Just ask Princess Fatherfucker and Captain Cockstink.
  • Unishment: "The Flaming Wheel" features a guy who's sent to hell for the sin of "liking butts". He's sentenced to be eternally crushed between a pair of enormous sweaty asses.
    Torture Demon: Can you, like pretend not to be enjoying this? My supervisor's doing an inspection this afternoon.
  • Unlimited Wardrobe: Mistress, though all of her outfits are skimpy.
  • Unlucky Everydude: Ivan the Apprentice. So very unlucky.
  • Unsettling Gender-Reveal:
  • Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object: A man blessed with the greatest cock in the world is unable to ejaculate due to causing everything his cock touches to orgasm instantly. He eventually crosses paths with the man cursed to give the greatest blowjobs in the world, who manages to hold out long enough to make the other man come closer than he ever had before to achieving climax before having a lipgasm and falling asleep.
    • Teumessian Fox has two women with magical swords that makes them undefeatable in battle. This leads to alternating sexual scenes and attempts at violence, ending with a giant rectangular stone with a happy mouth and eyes declaring "Fun Fact! When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, they fuck!" and a wispy cloud with a similar face adding "Also, immovable objects are terrible at sex"
  • The Unsmile: Anyone affected by the Funsnake's aura gets a wide-eyed, demented grin.
  • Unsound Effect: The Sword Master's Dope Slap is appropriately sound effected with SLAP!
  • Unusual Euphemism: The Immaculate City's inhabitants have curious notions of what sexual terms exist, and what the real ones actually mean.
  • Upper-Class Twit: The Ambassador seems to have a case of this.
  • Urban Legend Love Life: Every woman who's had sex with the protagonist of "Prowess" says he's great in bed. He's not actually great; he just has a magic amulet that forces women to say that.
  • Vagina Dentata:
    • "Rogue Arsenal 3" is more like "vagina-that-squirts-ink-in-the-face-of-anyone-performing-cunnilingus-on-the-wearer", but it still works.
    • "Labiathans" sees an evil wizard getting made fun of by the adventurers he's trapped, because his monsters go way too hard on this trope.
      Wizard: They're not vaginas! They're monstrosities from darkest nightmare! ... what? Why are you laughing?
      Adventurer 1: Just that your darkest nightmares are of vulvas.
      Adventurer 2: Got some issues with your mother?
  • Vapor Wear: Vanka's outfit is cut low enough in front and high enough on the sides to demonstrate this ("Cryophilia", for example).
  • Vicious Cycle: "Rivulets" depicts a beautiful woman who apparently is trapped in an "endless fuck-wash cycle" because she baths erotically...until a plainer woman walks in to the spring and inadvertently changes her life by just regularly bathing, to the disappointment of a Peeping Tom in the bushes nearby.
  • Viewers Are Geniuses:
    • What do you mean you don't get the joke in "Salome?" How did you not know that the biblical Salome's dance convinced Herod to behead John the Baptist and that in Oscar Wilde's adaptation of the story she kisses his severed head?
    • Not to mention Scherazade's occasional appearance.
    • And of course there's the 'Golden Hind' Bordello.
  • Virgin Sacrifice:
    • Navaan has been sending virgins "out" of Vanorva to be eaten by her fellow vampires. It's not clear whether the victims have to be virgins or if virgins are just the easiest prey.
    • Parodied in Magma Chamber, when the volcano god turns out to be gay.
  • Virgin Power: Oglaf inevitably plays with this trope occasionally:
    • Only virgins can see the Enchanted City of Vanorva. Because of this, the entire population is celibate, to avoid accidentally depopulating the place. If a supposed slut somehow enters the city (even if the sex activities were not consensual, as most of Ivan's were not), there is widespread panic. Except, blowjobs don't count... nor does flang. The jury's still out on anal. Ivan tried to convince Navaan it was okay (implying that he's had it done to him), but she had second thoughts after seeing the soldiers looking for them.
    • Also a Brick Joke from earlier in the arc.
    • See also the religious order in "Lapis Lazuli." When Vanka comes to plunder their idol, she's clever enough to deflower her attackers before making off with her prize.
    • In the two-strip story "The Virgin Cobbler", the highly skilled title character tells her aristocratic clients that her skills are empowered by her virginity. One comely female client sets out to ensure that none of her rivals will ever acquire more stylish footwear than her own by deflowering the cobbler. (Lesbian is assumed to count here.) The cobbler seems quite happy with that and then goes off to buy a potion of virginity restoration. The punchline is that the cobbler knows that the potion is just sugar water, just like cobbling skill comes from talent and practice. She and the potion vendor share an opinion of rich people.
  • Visual Pun/Multiple Reference Pun:
    • Sandoval's funeral outfit includes a bundle of sticks on his head; i.e. a faggot. Sandoval is gay. (It's also mourning wood.)
    • Another Visual Pun: Vanka has an octopussy.
    • "Hot Broiler" is all about visual puns.
  • Wangst: Invoked by Sandoval, who takes "mourning drugs" to make himself inconsolable after the "death" of The Apprentice.
  • Weakness Turns Her On: According to Vanka in "Lapidary," "sometimes you can be so sad you go all the way around to being hot." When her victim proves utterly pathetic, she bones him.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: In "Lapis Lazuli" and next two comics. The monks learn their lesson, though.
  • We Need a Distraction: Fortunately, a rodeo-bull in a giant penis suit escaping its pen should do nicely.
  • Wham Episode: Kill the apprentice? Pfft, Like You Would Really Do It. Oh... oh no!
  • What Have I Become?: Used word-for-word as the punchline of "The Abyss."
  • Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Averted hilariously and spectacularly on two occasions:
    • Mistress is about to torture a man in a way so horrible once you understand that it's a good thing when her pet falcon incinerates him with its laser eyes. This prompts her to sell the bird.
    • The second time Mistress deliberately invokes it.
  • Winter Royal Lady: The Snow Queen. Quite literally.
  • The Wise Prince: Tristram. (His brother Thessaly is stuck being the Cynical Prince in a story that runs on Idealism.)
  • With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: Discussed in "Dancing Blade." The curse of the blade is that it will make the wielder useful, and a useful person will be asked by everyone to help them in their time of need.
  • Womb Level: Literally with the "Labi-rinth", a labyrinth styled like the interior of a vagina in "Hart's Line". It is defended by a giant snake, and the keepers read it literature about passionate romantic architecture to keep it lubricated.
  • Worst Aid: Navaan's doctor practice is pretty much entirely her making leaps of logic or just having sex with people. Of course, the comic applies basic logic to her disastrous concepts by frequently having people die.
  • Would Hurt a Child: The Huntsman in... "The Huntsman" needs the princess's heart for the queen but can't bring himself to kill her. Hansel and Gretel's hearts on the other hand...
  • Would Not Hit a Girl: The men of Kronar's tribe are unable to physically strike a woman. Literally: all attempts to attack a woman will fail (with said woman merely assuming a seductive pose just out of reach). Kronar needs a special weapon to slay a sorceress.
  • Yaoi Fangirl:
    • The paladin from "Rigor Mortis".
    • Mistress with Sandoval and the Apprentice as well.
    • Scheherazade in "Arabian Nights" too.
      Sultan: Sorry, did you say "moustache"?
      Scheherazade: Eyelashes. I said eyelashes.
    • Trudy Cooper herself it seems.
  • You Can't Fight Fate: Or can you?
  • Young Conqueror: Played for laughs in "Princess Party" when a little princess is given an army for her birthday, which she then uses to go on a campaign of conquest against a candy factory. Then her army is besieged by the forces belonging to a different princess, and she starts wishing for an assassin on her next birthday.
  • Your Answer to Everything: If sex isn't what caused the problem in the first place, it's probably what will fix it. (Though both can be true).
  • You Shall Not Pass!:
    • Inverted in "Ravine". Greir is not amused.
    • Played with in "Bridge Club". One soldier is prepared to sacrifice himself holding a bridge so it can be destroyed to save an orphanage from an invading army. However, the oldest of The Hecate Sisters is bored with Heroic Sacrifice and goes with a slutty sacrifice instead. So the soldier instead tells the army that they have to have sex with him first before any of them can pass. It only fails because the orphanage staff were too busy covering the children's eyes to actually cut down the bridge.
  • You Won't Feel a Thing!: A favorite "promise" of the Nurses.