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Lousy Lovers Are Losers

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I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over
Lily Allen, "Not Fair"

In most media, the idea that Sex Is Good is prevalent, so if someone isn't good at sex, then that means something is very wrong with them. A character failing to sexually satisfy their partner is often portrayed as a major flaw, often painting them as a loser who should be ridiculed.

They're often the Romantic False Lead, the Romantic Runner-Up, and the Wrong Guy First in a Love Triangle. They're the Emasculated Cuckold who has a Trophy Wife cheating on them. They're someone's Last Het Romance. They're Jerkass selfish womanizers. They're the villains meant to contrast with sexually skilled protagonists. They're the Loser Protagonist whom the audience is supposed to laugh at or have pity for. Even if a character was considered The Ace before, the reveal that they're a lousy lover is portrayed as a major flaw that simply cannot be overlooked.

One of the biggest reasons behind this is due to the commonly accepted idea that a good lover isn't simply someone who is experienced and in shape, but someone who is generous, caring, thoughtful, and considerate towards their partner's sexual needs. If they at the very least care and put in some effort, then they can learn how to be a satisfying lover, or at the very least avoid being a bad one.

This is why characters who are lousy lovers are often associated with negative traits, such as being selfish, insensitive, self-centered, egocentric, emotionally distant, or even narcissistic. In the bedroom, they're All Take and No Give. They often simply don't care about their partner's sexual satisfaction, only their own. Or they're Ignorant of His Own Ignorance and can't even perceive the idea that they're bad lovers. Even if a character seemed like a Nice Guy before, if they're bad in bed that can indicate that they're actually Secretly Selfish or The Bore. Because of this, cheaters who betray their lousy lover partners can often be seen as a Sympathetic Adulterer.

Sometimes lousy lovers can also be associated with positive traits, such as being highly attractive or smooth seducers, with the idea that because of their attractiveness they think they don't actually have to put any work into the sex itself, therefore end up as unsatisfying partners. As a result, physically undesirable traits, such as ugliness or chubbiness, can sometimes be associated with being sexually satisfying lovers since they will actually put in the effort. Sometimes a good person will be portrayed as a disappointing lover due to the idea that Good Is Boring. Someone who is considered too "vanilla" and only has sex in a missionary position, while someone who is more morally ambiguous will be more "adventurous", which is why All Girls Want Bad Boys and Evil Is Sexy.

A lousy lover (or an Insecure Love Interest who fears they're a lousy lover) who's portrayed as sympathetically will see their own lack of sexual prowess as a major flaw and redeem themselves in the eyes of their partner and the audience by trying to improve as part of a Romance Arc. This is often done by them seeking advice from friends or professionals, communicating with their partner, working out their emotional issues, watching/reading porn to learn new techniques or even taking some yoga lessons. This usually ends with them having sex with their partner again, this time ending in a mutually satisfying conclusion.

The exact manner in which a lousy lover is portrayed can change drastically between men and women.

  • In media, men are much more often depicted as bad and clumsy lovers who don't have a clue about how to satisfy a woman, sometimes even expressing the belief that All Women Are Prudes who don't/can't even enjoy sex at all. They will often not care about the idea of foreplay, will have poor sexual stamina and orgasm quickly with an ugly grunt and then slump into bed and fall asleep, leaving their partner hanging. They may also not even be able to get aroused at all. Women frequently have bored looks on their faces when having sex with such men, and will often have to fake their orgasm in order to "save their pride". Because Men Are Tough, being a lousy lover is seen as a very shameful thing for them. A male lousy lover who has their partner leave them or cheat on them will often be seen as an Emasculated Cuckold.
  • Women on the other hand are more rarely depicted as lousy lovers in media, but it does happen. Due to the Lie Back and Think of England trope, the idea that women should just "lay there" during sex is prevalent, but in more modern times such women are portrayed as being bad, selfish, and boring lovers who aren't contributing to the lovemaking, usually being described as being "frigid" or a "cold/dead fish" in bed. A "pillow princess" is also a well-known term for such women, particularly among lesbians. This is why when media wants to illustrate that a woman is skilled at sex they have her being the one who "tops" and rides their lover, showing she's playing an active part in the lovemaking.

Contrast with Sex God for characters that are exceptionally skilled lovers. See Sexual Karma for the contrast between morally good people being sexually satisfying and evil people being sexually unsatisfying. See Mal Mariée for when a young woman is unsatisfied due to being married to a much older man. See Incompatible Orientation and No Sparks for when two characters have a passionless relationship due to having no attraction to each other. See A-Cup Angst and Teeny Weenie for the idea that small breasts or penises can negatively impact a character's sexual desirability. See Anorgasmia, Big Prick, Big Problems, Bondage Is Bad, Instant Turn-Off, Jizzed in My Pants, The Loins Sleep Tonight and Speed Sex for specific tropes about unsatisfying sex. See Slut-Shaming and Virgin-Shaming for when a character is seen as a loser for being promiscuous or a virgin.

This stigma can be Truth in Television, so No Real Life Examples, Please!


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    Anime & Manga 

    Comic Books 
  • Cerebus the Aardvark: Cerebus' potency and actual talent in bed are rarely mentioned, aside from the marathon of his wedding night with Red Sophia and siring Sheshep Ankh with "New Joanne". However, one thing that is consistently shown is that he is very much not a good lover. His self-absorption, temper, and lust for power foul his relationship with Red Sophia, and she eventually reaches a breaking point and leaves him. In Minds, he meets his creator "Dave" and tries to make "Dave" make his old flame Jaka love him "that way", but "Dave" shows him that this is a very bad idea, as at worst he'd be physically abusive, and in the best case he's still tempted into an affair with his neighbor Joanne, only to coldly dismiss her once they've actually done the deed. When he and the real Joanne hook up in Rick's Story, he hides the fact that he's planning on leaving town with his old friend Bear should Bear ever show back up, and this leads to a heartbroken Joanne dumping him when she eventually finds out. He and Jaka finally reunite, but the relationship slowly but steadily crumbles as it becomes increasingly clear that they are fundamentally incompatible, and comes to an explosive crash at the end of Form and Void.
  • The DCU:
  • Dylan Dog: Downplayed. Dylan gets laid a lot, but multiple ex-lovers have described his sex skills as "average" or unremarkable.
  • Empowered While Mindfuck can use her telepathic powers to have satisfying Mental Affairs, she's shown to be really bad at real sex with her lover Sistah Spooky (lacking most of a tongue doesn't help).
  • Marvel Universe:
  • Murena: Agrippina seduces Vespasian (one of her son Nero's friends) into revealing what Nero has planned for her. In the next panel, she's kicking furniture in a rage, both because of Nero's scheming and because Vespasian couldn't get her off.
  • Saga: In issue #1 Prince Robot IV is introduced while trying to have sex with his wife, but being unable to perform due to the stress and injuries he sustained in the war. She's understanding about it, but he still acts bitter about it.
  • Watchmen: Despite Doctor Manhattan being a near-omnipotent man, he fails to be a satisfying lover to his girlfriend Laurie/Silk Spectre. This is due to his omnipotence leaving him too apathetic and dispassionate to connect with her on an emotional level, leaving their sex feeling mechanical and lifeless. In their last attempt at intimacy, he uses his powers to duplicate himself while in bed with her, thinking she'd enjoy the idea of a Twin Threesome Fantasy, but this just ends up creeping her out and she runs out of the bedroom... only to find that he had more duplicates working on an experiment the whole time while they were supposed to be having an intimate moment and the incident causes them to break up. In contrast, her next lover Danny initially has problems with impotency, but because he and Laurie still manage to emotionally connect as human beings, they do eventually end up having mutually fulfilling sex.

    Fan Works 
  • Fall of Starfleet, Rebirth of Friendship: The one time in the fic Rhymey has sex with Fluttershy, it's shown that he's completely incapable of pleasuring her, and sees sex as being solely for procreation. Fluttershy tries to explain to him that sex can be for more, but he shrugs her off and falls asleep.
  • Triptych Continuum: Discussed. Rainbow puts any potential lover into a 'test' to see if anyone is willing to actually take an interest in her even despite her flaws. Fleur de Lis is of the opinion that such It's All About Me attitude would make Rainbow into a very lousy lover and feels pity for whoever actually does manage to pass the test and sleep with her.
  • Vale's Underground: Jaune is a really lousy lay and a chronic premature ejaculator. Once his friend Velvet had Pity Sex with him thinking he couldn't be that bad, only to find out she was very wrong.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • The 40-Year-Old Virgin: Seemingly played straight but then Averted in the ending. When Andy consummates his marriage with Trish and finally loses his virginity, it lasted 60 seconds. He's floored but she's clearly unsatisfied. But then she asks if wants to do it again and he does and the scene fades to a Sexy Discretion Shot, and this time it lasts two hours and they both look exhausted and satisfied in bed.
  • The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: Bob ends up joining the drag queens on their road trip after his humiliated Filipino wife leaves him, taking all their possessions, and just before she leaves, tells him that she doesn't like him anyway, on account of his small penis. Then again, seeing as Bob's wife is clearly deferring blame for humiliating him the previous night with her sexually explicit entertainment of the other bar patrons overseeing the drag act, she's most likely an Unreliable Expositor, so Bob is portrayed more sympathetically than she is.
  • Afternoon Delight: Rachel and Jeff have a normal marriage, other than their sex life has become stale and lackluster. While Jeff seems to have given up on it, Rachel tries to spice up their sex life by visiting a strip club with him, only to be disappointed when he gets a stripper to do a lap dance for her.
  • À l'aventure: Sandrine and Sophie both relate that they left their male partners because neither of them was sexually satisfying. Greg, on the other hand, was spectacular. He made both of them realize they could do better.
  • American Pie: Butt-Monkey protagonist Jim ends up climaxing early when trying to sleep with Nadia. She gives him a second chance... but he ends up coming early again, much to her dissatisfaction. Made even more humiliating by the fact the incident was being recorded on a webcam. This even gets a Call-Back in the sequel American Reunion when Jim is teased about the incident by both Selena and Kara (and is acknowledged that the video is now on YouTube).
  • Animal House: Greg Marmalard has pretty unfulfilling Auto Erotica experience with both Babs and Mandy, where he has them giving them a handjob (with gloves on) while he's so uninterested that he doesn't even get hard, to the annoyance of the girls.
    Mandy: Darn it Greg, If you're not even going to try, I'm going to stop.
  • Blockers: Played With. Sam's prom night date climaxes before he can even get inside of her and promptly falls asleep without a care for her, but Sam is actually relieved since she's a closeted lesbian who was trying to lose her virginity to a guy only because her two other girl friends were planning to do the same.
  • Bordertown: Marie is the young and beautiful wife of the amiable but dimwitted fat Charlie, who is 20 years older than her and is unable to sexually satisfy her. In her sexual frustration, she attempts to cheat on him with Johnny, the virile manager of his casino, but Johnny is too smart to ruin his good job by Sleeping with the Boss's Wife and refuses her advances.
  • The Burning: The Bully Glazer keeps pressuring his Alpha Bitch girlfriend Sally for sex. When she relents, they have sex in the middle of the wild, where she's cold and uncomfortable and during the act he's both clumsy and quick, which greatly disappoints her. She is willing to give him another chance, but he ends up getting killed by the slasher villain before he can try again.
  • Cassanova Was A Woman: One of the reasons Cassanova is dissatisfied in her marriage with Peter is due to his poor sexual skills (he's shown during flashbacks hammering away as she looks uninterested).
  • All Cheerleaders Die: Jerk Jock Terry never managed to give his girlfriend Tracy an orgasm, something she rubs in his face in public to humiliate him when she breaks up with him. She also makes sure to let him know Maddy rocked her socks off.
  • Chicago: Kind-hearted but painfully meek Amos Hart is described as a "zero" in the bed department by his wife Roxie. Their marriage soon turns into a Sexless Marriage, with her constantly cheating on him.
    Roxie: He made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something.
  • Click: Michael is already implied not to be very good in bed (Donna frequently requests massages before sex and he seems very annoyed at the idea of doing something extra to please his wife) but once he messes with the Universal Remote Control and accidentally "fast forward" their sex, it ends up being a very quick, mechanical and unsatisfying experience for Donna. This is the first clue about how Michael is Not Himself when he skips time.
  • Coal Miner's Daughter: Played With. Early in Doolittle and Loretta's marriage, one of the complaints Doo has about her is that she's not good at any of her "wifely duties", including how she's bad at sex, but given how she's barely out of her teenage years (he married her when she was 15), he's the one who comes across as ludicrous to the audience, but since the movie is set in The '40s his complaint is seen as reasonable and he even kicks her out of the house due to it.
  • The Craft: When Nancy refused to sleep with Chris on their first date, he spread rumors that he did sleep with her but dumped her because she was a lousy lay and gave him an STI, giving her a reputation as a slut.
  • Creepshow: In the story "The Crate", Wilma Northrup (who is a shrewish wife and overall Jerkass of the most supreme caliber) mentions her belittled husband Henry is "no good in bed" as part of her overall insulting of how much of a loser she thinks he is. She spent so much time insulting Henry, though, that she didn't notice the flesh-eating mutant right behind her, which promptly grabs her and kills her.
    Wilma: Same old Henry; afraid of your own shadow! You know what, Henry, you're a regular barnyard exhibit. Sheep's eyes, chicken guts, piggy friends... and shit for brains! No good at departmental politics, no good at makin' money, no good at makin' an impression on anybody, and no good at all in BED! When was the last time ya got it up, Henry? Huh? When was the last time you were a man in our bed? Now get outta my way, Henry, or I swear to God you'll be wearin' your balls for earrings!
  • Dressed to Kill: Kate is a sexually frustrated housewife who's stuck with a husband who can no longer satisfy her, to the point she's seeing a psychiatrist and having rape fantasies in the shower. She describes sex with him as a "wham-bang specials".
  • EDtv: After Ray cheats on Shari, she gets her revenge on him by telling Ed's entire reality TV audience about what a lousy lay Ray is, which greatly boosts the show's ratings and utterly humiliates him.
    Shari: He is a bad lay. And I mean bad.
  • The End of the Affair: Sarah has an Awful Wedded Life with her husband Henry, and one of the contributing factors is that he's a boring and poor lover. This is what causes Sarah to have an affair with Bendrix, and she's portrayed as a Sympathetic Adulterer for doing so.
  • Enough Said: One of the bad things Marianne gossips to Eva about her ex Albert (not knowing Eva and Albert started dating) is about Albert being a terrible and clumsy lover who "sexually repulsed her". This obviously makes Eva very worried about her growing relationship with Albert.
  • Entre Nous: Lena's husband Michel is a boorish man who never once gave her an orgasm while she was with him, and thus is seen as a Sympathetic Adulterer when she has an affair and leaves him.
  • Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Stacy and Mike Damone hook up with each other to have sex, but Mike lasts for less than a minute and he soon puts some clothes back up and leaves, leaving her unsatisfied. Even worse is that Stacy gets pregnant from it.
  • Fright Night, Peter is constantly exchanging barbs with his girlfriend Ginger. One such exchange has him complaining about her tardiness at work, to which she responds by saying it's better than him being "early in the bedroom", which causes him to rage.
  • Garage Days: When Freddy and Tanya have sex at the beginning it's a pretty spectacular failure; he was daydreaming about being a rockstar the whole time and didn't notice she wasn't enjoying herself. When he gets offended when she picks up her vibrator afterward, Tanya retorts, "Pay attention and maybe you'll learn something."
  • Halloween: When Lynda sleeps with her boyfriend he "has a cramp" and ends up finishing early. When he asks her to rate him On a Scale from One to Ten she promptly gives him a "0" and he has the gall to act shocked.
  • Head of State: When Mays' bitchy girlfriend Kim dumps him, one of the many insults she throws at him is that he's a wimpy Extreme Doormat who's horrible in bed, and he gets angry enough that he almost punches her.
  • Hitch: Misogynist Jerkass Vance has a one-night stand with Casey and later when he's confronting her Best Friend Sara, he insults Casey by calling her a "lousy lay" who isn't worth the trouble, prompting Sara to knee him in the crotch.
  • Kaboom!: London is really unimpressed with Rex after she sleeps with him, as he doesn't last long ("I've had pelvic exams that lasted longer. What are you, 14?") and when she gives him a second chance by giving her oral sex he still fails at pleasuring her.
    London: It's a vagina, not a bowl of spaghetti!
  • Lady Bird: Lady Bird's first time with her Jerkass boyfriend Kyle is awful and unsatisfying. He doesn't try to guide her, makes no effort to really please her, and ends up climaxing extremely quickly. It's particularly painful because he claimed to be a virgin to get her into bed, and offhandedly admits that he can't even remember how many girls he's been with at this point. Kyle's unapologetic when she voices her dissatisfaction and then outright mocks her for thinking he would try to make her first time special.
    Lady Bird: I just wanted it to be special.
    Kyle: Why? You're going to have so much un-special sex in your life.
    Lady Bird: I was on top! Who the fuck is on top their first time!?
  • Love, Rosie: When Rosie and Greg have sex, it takes longer for him to put on the condom than the actual sex. And Rosie's bored and confused face as he humps her clearly indicates she didn't enjoy it. And to make things worse for her, since he didn't put the condom right, it slipped off inside her, and thus she got pregnant (along with having to fish the thing out again).
  • A Night at the Roxbury: When Steve and Doug have sex with Vivica and Cambi, it's a disappointing experience for the girls, given they both lasted less than a minute, but they don't care and are more concerned with congratulating each other on getting laid.
  • Not Okay: When Danni has sex with Colin it ends up being an unsatisfying experience in several ways: it takes place in an uncomfortable bathroom, he gives her some cringy dirty talk, he finishes in seconds and does so inside her without using protection, leading her to freak out and needing to go get some emergency contraception. He's also completely oblivious to his shortcomings and later quickly ditches her for other women now that he had his quickie with her. All this highlights how he's a selfish, callous jerk.
  • On Chesil Beach: When Edward and Florence try to consummate their marriage, the attempt is thwarted when Edward finishes too soon. He later blames her for it, accusing her of being a frigid and bad lover, not knowing that she struggled with intimacy because of the abuse she suffered in the past.
  • The Panic in Needle Park: After Streetwalker Helen sleeps with a particularly bad client, a pimply-faced teenager, his lack of sexual ability is illustrated by the fact he also struggles to light up a cigarette for a post-coital smoke.
  • Plan B: After Sunny's real crush Hunter drives off with another hunger. In 'revenge' she gets drunk and throws herself into the arms of Christian enthusiast Kyle. Sex with him is awful, being clumsy, fast, and worst of all, he doesn't wear the condom correctly, making her panic about getting pregnant. Meanwhile, Kyle is portrayed as selfish since his only worry about the fact extramarital sex is sinful.
  • The Saint: In one scene Simon Templar disguises himself as the Big Bad Ivan Tretiak, and trolls him by claiming that the most difficult part of the disguise was pretending to be so lousy in bed.
  • Saving Silverman: Despite being gorgeous, Judith is shown to be a selfish lover when she has Darren spend hours pleasuring her via oral sex, to the point that he gets a sore jaw, but she is unwilling to do anything for him after, giving him a lame excuse that she has "sensitive gums". When he suggests she can pleasure him in other ways (obviously implying a handjob) she just dismissively hands him over a porn magazine and some lotion and tells him "Have fun" before she rolls over (implying that he's supposed to masturbate on his own).
  • Sleepless in Seattle: Discussed and ZigZagged. Annie's mother mentions how meeting her husband was Love at First Sight but admits that it took several years for things to "work like clockwork" in bed, so Annie shouldn't be worried if it takes a while with her fiancé Walter. Annie insists that things are like clockwork between them... only for a later scene to reveal that she is referring to Walter's nighttime routine of medications, which leave him so tired that they don't have sex at all. Not much wonder that Annie's affections get swayed by a voice on the radio. Downplayed, since, other than his blandness, Walter is a perfectly decent guy who lets her go willingly once she tells him about her feelings — just not the one for Annie.
  • Spanglish: John is the one left sexually unsatisfied due to how his wife Deborah just emotionless grinds at him during sex until she quickly gets off and subsequently falls asleep.
  • Splitting Heirs: A Running Gag in the film is that most Brit characters look down on sex and promiscuity, with Shadgrind mocking the very notion that Americans like having sex for "pleasure". The American Lucinda (who is considered a Black Sheep to the Brit family she married into due to her promiscuity) states the belief that all Brits are terrible lovers with a Lie Back and Think of England attitude to sex, and thinks that it is a wonder they ever reproduce. As a result, she constantly cheated on her Brit husband while he was alive, and in one scene says he was not only awful in bed but also had a Teeny Weenie.
  • They Call Me Mister Tibbs: The film opens with a hooker scornfully telling her unseen client about what a lousy lay he is, and that she can't even be bothered to "fake it" for him anymore. Said man responds by strangling her.
  • Van Wilder: Richard, the arrogant Jerkass rival to the main character, is really horrible in bed and is entirely unaware of it. When we see him having sex with Gwen, he's passionlessly humping her while she looks bored and the entire thing only lasted 15 seconds. When he has sex with Jeannie, she mentions it only lasted 10 seconds. Gwen later publicizes that fact he's a lousy lay when she puts it into her newspaper article.
  • The Wackness: When Luke tries to have sex with Stephanie at first, he has trouble performing and when he does manage to perform he ends up climaxing almost immediately, which she's incredulous at.
  • When Harry Met Sally... discusses this in the beginning, with Harry admonishing Sally for never having had great sex... with a guy named Sheldon.
    Harry: A Sheldon can do your income tax. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man. But humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. Do it to me... Sheldon!"
  • In Where the Crawdads Sing, Kya is clearly surprised and disappointed at how uncomfortable and painful her first time with Chase is (though this isn't uncommon even under the best of circumstances), though he assures her it will get better. It turns out he's been cheating on his girlfriend with her and tries to rape her when she confronts him.
  • Your Friends & Neighbors: Most of the characters in the story have very unsatisfying sex lives.
    • Barry says that no sexual partner can satisfy himself more than... himself, and seems to regard his wife Mary as unable to truly please him. The fact he'd rather masturbate than have sex also leaves her sexually frustrated. When she leaves him, he also finds himself unable to get an erection anymore, even via masturbation.
    • Jerry and Terri have a very unsatisfying sex life. She gets annoyed and turned off by how he likes to talk during sex and he's unhappy that she just lays there. Terri eventually just leaves him for Cheri.
    • When Jerry and Mary have their affair and attempt to sleep together, he ends up being unable to perform. Frustrated, he blames it on her, shattering what little self-confidence Mary had about her ability in bed.

  • A man hires a prostitute. After they finish, the prostitute says:
    "Wanna make a bet? If I can guess your job, you pay me double; if not, it's free."
    "You're on."
    "You're an anesthetist, and one of the best in the business too."
    "Wha— spot-on! That's amazing! How'd you know?"
    "I didn't feel a thing."

  • Downplayed and Invoked in Belisarius Series when Shakuntala and Rao consummate their Perfectly Arranged Marriage, she ends up surprising him with her nimbleness and Comic Sutra knowledge, so he ends up not lasting very long. She acts mock offended, and teases him mercilessly about it, claiming she was "defrauded" and "cheated" and giving him silly Embarrassing Nicknames. This makes Rao relax and he gets a 'second wind':
    "Rao was laughing himself, now. The laughs grew louder and louder, as he heard his wife bestow upon him his new cognomens of ridicule and ignominy. The Pant of Majarashtra. The Gust of the Great Country—no! The Puff of the Great Country."
    "Laughter drove out shame, and brought passion to fill the void. Soon enough—very soon—the empress ceased her complaints. And, by the end of a long night, allowed—regally magnanimous, for all the sweat—that her husband was still her champion."
  • The Canterbury Tales: In "The Miller's Tale", Kindhearted Simpleton John is too boring and stupid to keep his young, pretty, and lustful wife Alisoun satisfied, which leads to the shenanigans of the story where Nicholas and Absolom both trick him in order to have their way with Alisoun. John is just portrayed as a Butt-Monkey for his failure to keep himself from being an Emasculated Cuckold and is the source of mocked for it even In-Universe, with the overall implication being that he shouldn't have even gotten into a Mal Mariée relationship in the first place.
  • Christine: Michael Cunningham really doesn't enjoy sex with his wife Regina, describing it as "dutiful and joyless". He even mentions he feels she's only "using his penis as a sleeping pill".
  • The Godfather: Sonny Corleone's Gag Penis makes sex with him painful and unsatisfying to most women he sleeps with, including his wife Sandra who openly gossips about it to the other mobster wives. In his youth, he even had to pay double to get prostitutes to sleep with him. The fact he doesn't seem to care much about hurting them speaks poorly of his character. It's only when he finds a Distaff Counterpart in Lucy Mancini, a woman whose vagina is also overly large, that he finds a partner who can enjoy sex with him, and Sandra is actually relieved when he takes Lucy as a lover since it means she herself doesn't have to sleep with him anymore.
    "My God," Sandra had giggled, "when I saw that pole of Sonny's for the first time and realized he was going to stick it into me, I yelled bloody murder. After the first year my insides felt as mushy as macaroni boiled for an hour. When I heard he was doing the job on other girls I went to church and lit a candle."
  • Gone Girl: Though he hardly needs the help (given that he's already shown himself to be possessive, creepy, and with a severe white knight complex that leads him to fetishize rape and eating disorders), Amy also notes that Desi is terrible in bed and hasn't matured past their teenage hookups. She then murders him and frames him as a serial rapist and a kidnapper.
  • It: Kay McCall (Beverly's feminist friend) had an Awful Wedded Life with her ex-husband, and has nothing good to say about how he was like in the sack.
    Kay: Two pumps a tickle and a squirt, that was ole Sammy's motto. The only time he could keep it up for longer than seventy seconds was when he was pulling off in the tub.
  • Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.: Played With with Elisa, who is spoiled, selfish, and hypercritical and thus a total cold fish in the bedroom. But Nates described he greatly enjoyed the sex at first because he got some erotic sense of "conquest" over making such a haughty woman moan and squeal. But he eventually grew tired of such one-sided sex and ended up dumping her.
  • The Lunatic: Inga is very unforgiving to her lovers if they perform poorly, especially if they finish before she does. The first this manifests is when, twice in a row, she explodes at Aloysius for not being able to control his climax. She later boxes Service on the ear for likewise being too quick.
  • Middlemarch: Pompous scholar Edward Casaubon is heavily implied via euphemism to be impotent due to his sickly frailty, and unable to enjoy "family pleasures" with his young wife Dorothea. He acts unapologetic about it, and treats her more or less as his assistant for his scholarly research, while at the same time not really respecting her intellect, making the marriage both sexually and emotionally unsatisfying for Dorothea.
  • Of Mice and Men: Heavily implied to be the case with the short-tempered Curley. Despite him bragging about his sexual prowess, his gorgeous wife is clearly unhappy and unsatisfied with their marriage and sometimes acts like The Tease to the ranch workers. Curley gets so overly anxious to control her that he punishes any man that she so much as talks to and tries to isolate her as much as possible.
  • Pretty Little Mistakes: Ben's Teeny Weenie is such a huge disappointment to the sex connoisseur that is the Protagonist she repeats "Size Counts" over and over again. In fact, he's the only one, aside from unwilling counts of rape, who cannot sexually satisfy the Protagonist.
  • A Song of Ice and Fire:
    • Robert Baratheon was a very poor lover and husband to Cersei (who wasn't even the spiteful woman she became in her later years), seemingly just because she wasn't Lyanna. Cersei reminisces he was rough and brutish, without a care for her pleasure or comfort and she would wake up sore and raw the next morning. It only got worse as the years went on, when he began to drink and became more violent and would not care for her "objections" and claimed he was simply "claiming his rights".
    • In A Feast for Crows, when Arianne Martell takes Arys Oakheart as her lover (to manipulate him), she was actually surprised by how bad in bed he was. She even recalls how their first time having sex ended with him climaxing on her thighs before he could even insert himself into her and mentions she spent a long time 'training' and 'instructing' him about lovemaking so she wouldn't be bored and unsatisfied while having him as a lover. Somewhat Justified since he's part of the Kingsguard who all take an oath of celibacy, so he's very inexperienced.
  • The Thorn Birds: Maggie's boorish husband Luke is a lousy and inconsiderate lover who never satisfies her, and when she started refusing sex, he invoked Marital Rape License by forcing himself on her during their Awful Wedded Life. She eventually has enough and leaves him.
  • The Stepford Wives: Invoked In-Universe and Played With.
    • When the Men's Association recruits Walter, he and the other men seem motivated by the fact that their wives are not the All Women Are Lustful type. After they get transformed, they're shown to be extremely enthusiastic whenever and wherever.
    • However, one of the first signs Joanna gets of Walter's betrayal is that, rather than having sex with her, he prefers to masturbate. Their sexual relationship also gradually becomes poorer and poorer in the book.
  • Their Eyes Were Watching God: At first, Janie's marriage to her second husband Joe Stark is happy and they have a healthy sexual life. But he Took a Level in Jerkass becoming more overtly sexist, arrogant, and vain, and their sex begins to become stale to non-existant. He also becomes more jealous and possessive of her, to the point he attempts to humiliate her in public, only to end up humiliating himself when she talks back and voices his sexual inadequacies among his peers, who all laugh at him for it, deeply humiliating him.
  • Sugawara Akitada: It's heavily implied that Count Tanibata can't pleasure his decades younger wife, being too busy acting like overprotective father than a husband.
  • Warbreaker: Sisirinah is betrothed to the God-King Susebron, and is expected to bear him a child. Alas, Susebron is a Manchild with no concept of how babies are made, much less how to please a woman. So Siri keeps faking loud orgasms while in his chambers so that the priests listening outside think she's at least trying.

    Live-Action TV 
  • 13 Reasons Why: In season 3, Alex is awful at sex with Jessica, who's sexually frustrated and relies on masturbation to get any satisfaction. Eventually, she just leaves him for Justin, whom she had much better sex with.
  • 24: Evil and buffoonish Charles Logan is revealed to be lackluster in bed when his wife has to "seduce him" as part of a ploy to expose his actions. The scene in question has the episode ending with a Sexy Discretion Shot while the next open opens with them putting their clothes back on, and due to the way time works in the show, we know the whole thing only lasted a few minutes.
  • 30 Rock: In "The Bubble", Liz is annoyed when she finds out her Guy of the Week Drew is a Brainless Beauty who's bad at almost everything he does, including sex, but believes he's not because he lives in his own bubble world where everyone acts like he's great at everything. Funny enough, the way she says it to Jack is that Drew is "only as good at sex as I am", implying she knows she herself is bad at sex, but just doesn't see the problem with it.
  • The Afterparty: Both Zoe and Chelsea agree that Brett is a very unsatisfying lover, saying that he treats it like "a rush to the finish" as if it's a sport to be won.
  • Ally McBeal: In "Car Wash", The "Case of The Week", a family priest is rescinding his offer to perform the ceremony after he caught the bride Risa having sex with someone other than her fiancé. Risa explains her husband-to-be is terrible in bed and she wanted one last chance at exciting, invigorating sex before becoming a faithful and unsatisfied wife. The trope looks to be Subverted at first because Risa's willing to marry the man even knowing he's a lousy lover, but then it turns into a Double Subversion when it's revealed Ally actually knows the groom because she slept with him, and found him the best sex of her life. This leads Risa and Ally to conclude that if he was lousy at sex with Risa, then it means he doesn't truly care for her and is only in the marriage for the money. Risa promptly calls off the wedding.
  • Animal House: Greg Marmalard has pretty unfulfilling Auto Erotica experience with both Babs and Mandy, where he has them giving them a handjob (with gloves on) while he's so uninterested that he doesn't even get hard, to the annoyance of the girls.
    Mandy: Darn it Greg, If you're not even going to try, I'm going to stop.
  • Arrested Development: A Running Gag has characters (Usually Gob) teasing Michael for only having sex with four women in his life, with the implication his sexual inexperience makes him a bad lover and a loser.
    GOB: For some reason, women feel safe around you. Maybe because you've only had sex four times.
    Michael: Four women, not four times, and they talk to me because I talk to them.
  • The Big Bang Theory: The show mostly plays straight the stereotype that nerds are awkward losers and hopeless about anything related to sex. If they happen to improve, it's only because Nerd Nanny Penny helped them do it.
    • Leonard is an awkward and insecure nerd and his sexual performance seems to change Depending on the Writer. During his relationship with Penny, she's commented he's both disappointing and that he's great. In "The Engagement Reaction", Penny and Priya talk about how he's like in bed and come to the conclusion that while he tries really hard to please, he doesn't have much talent for it.
      Penny: [He] is desperate to please women. That's why the foreplay goes on and on.
      Priya: It does, doesn't it?
      Penny: It's like he's trying to win a prize. A word of advice... don't doze off. You will never hear the end of it.
    • Howard is a nerdy Casanova Wannabe who thinks he's a catch, but is pretty clueless about sex and women and just comes as a sexist Abhorrent Admirer to most girls he hits on and a terrible lover if he manages to get them in bed. In "The Killer Robot Instability", Penny gives him a "The Reason You Suck" Speech and tells him he's likely going to end up dying old and alone thanks to his attitude, which leaves him devastated, but he seems to take it to heart and his sleaze behavior is taken down a notch. Soon after he starts dating Nice Girl Bernadette and overall Took a Level in Kindness, and had a mostly stable relationship with her where they have a mostly healthy sex life.
    • Bollywood Nerd Raj plays this straight. He Cannot Talk to Women for most early seasons and even when he gets over it, he starts coming off as weird and creepy towards them, and in the later seasons, even sexist because he's bitter he can't get a girlfriend while all of his friends did. In "The Skank Reflex Analysis", he was even willing to have sex with a drunken Penny but ended up climaxing as she was trying to help him put on a condom. The fact they stopped after means he clearly didn't care about her climaxing, which he confirms to her later.
      Penny: So, we didn't actually...
      Raj: I did. It was beautiful.
    • Averted with Sheldon. Despite being celibate and uninterested in anything sexual for most of the series, In "The Opening Night Excitation" when he does commit to having sex with Amy on her birthday, he puts effort in researching sex and even asks Penny to give him a crash course on what women like in bed. So when he sleeps with Amy, he turns out to be an absolutely amazing lover... but he still viewed it as a special occasion and says he looks forward to having sex on her next birthday, making it their yearly tradition.
  • Black Mirror: Played With in "Be Right Back". Martha's boyfriend Ash is a poor lover who often leaves her sexually unsatisfied, though she still loves him. When he dies and she gets an Artificial Human replica of him, one of the biggest changes between them is that bot-Ash is a Sex Bot with much better skills in bed, such as becoming hard or soft on command, never tiring, and being able to download sexual techniques from media and the internet. But the trope gets Subverted after her initial lust wears off, since while bot-Ash can fulfill her sexually in the physical sense, he cannot emotionally connect with her, due to him lacking the personality flaws and character tics that made the real Ash the man she loved, and the bot's unnatural inhuman traits (such as him not breathing while "sleeping) start to creep her out, ultimately causing her to give up having a romantic relationship with the bot-Ash.
  • Blunt Talk: When Shelly sleeps with Dr. Rudy in "I Can't Believe I Made Love to a Sociopath", we cut to him collapsing beside her while she looks incredulous, angry that she rented an expensive motel for one minute of sex. He attempts to get her off with his hands, but it takes more than half an hour to even start to get her going, but stops because his 'wrist was hurting' leaving her pissed and unsatisfied. His form of apology is to pay for the motel bill on his own.
  • Boardwalk Empire: When Villain Protagonist Nucky sleeps with Margaret in "The Age of Reason" we only see him flopping around above her while she lays there immobile and it's apparent from the look on her face and her body language both during and after sex that she didn't enjoy it one bit. Afterwards, he tries to light up, but his lighter doesn't work, and she asks "Do you not find me attractive?"
  • Bottom: Invoked at the end of "Digger". Richie loses out on his chance to sleep with the Viscountess after he passes out due to the excitement of seeing her strip naked. When he wakes up in an ambulance, Eddie accidentally lets it slip that while they were waiting for the ambulance, the Viscountess seduced him. He tries to comfort Richie by saying she was "crap in bed" but it's clear the opposite is true and Richie zaps Eddie with the heart defibrillator in revenge.
  • The Boys (2019): Evil Superman Expy Homelander might be a Physical God, but he still only lasts a whopping 45 seconds from insertion to ejaculation with Stillwell, much to his embarrassment.
  • Broad City: Ilana had a Friends with Benefits relationship with her old roommate Dale, and she mentions he was really bad at sex, by far the worst she's ever had. He's also really creepy and obsessed with her, keeping a Stalker Shrine of her and stealing her underwear over the years.
  • Californication: Being a Bromantic Foil to Chick Magnet Hank, Charlie is depicted as a lousy lover who has issues with premature ejaculation, to the point his ex-wife nicknamed him "Prema-Charlie" and often talks about how unsatisfying she was when they were together:
    Marcy: After a couple of decades with Prema-Charlie, anything longer than a Ramones song seems like tantric sex to me.
  • The Carmichael Show: In "Yes Means Yes", Bobby is terrified about the prospect of having raped his latest one-night stand when he was drunk, as he can't remember that night and she tweeted "Trying to forget about last night, but I can't". When he personally tracks her down, she assures him she wanted to have sex with him and consented... she just regretted it because he was really awful in bed.
  • Cheers:
    • When Vera describes what sex her husband Norm is like in bed, she says he is more akin to "Don of the Dead" than a "Don Juan".
    • Cliff finds out he had sex with Maggie but was too drunk to remember.
      Cliff: How was I?
      Maggie: You want the truth?
      Cliff: No.
      Maggie: You were great!
  • Community: While Jeff seems to be competent at seducing women when he wants to and would, on the surface, seem to be far from being a loser, Britta (the only one of the group who has actually had sex with him) often claims that he's actually incredibly bad in bed. It's implied that it's due to him being self-centered and emotionally closed-off, he only focuses on his own pleasure. Considering that she continued to return to have sex with him many times, though, it could just be something Britta says to tease him — though considering that it's also made clear that Britta has a tendency to trap herself in self-destructive and unfulfilling relationships with damaged losers and weirdos as a way of validating her own lack of self-worth, probably not.
    • In "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons", while playing D&D and doing good during an encounter, Jeff strokes his own ego by wondering aloud "What am I not good at?" prompting Britta to snark "Sex", causing him to do a Double Take in disbelief before the scene moves on.
    • In "Contemporary Impressionists", Britta says that Jeff is a poor lover due to being emotionally closed off in bed.
      Britta: You were emotionally closed off in bed to the point where one time, I didn't come up because I couldn't find close enough parking.
    • In "Geothermal Escapism":
      Troy: I'm better at sex than Jeff, right?
      Britta: I've yet to have anyone worse.
  • Cougar Town:
    • In "Don't Do Me Like That", after Jules and Josh sleep together for the first time, he's unusually quiet making her worry if she was bad in bed, something he tries to deny but is too much of a Bad Liar to succeed. But this gets Subverted at the end of the episode, where after Jules resolves her issues, she sleeps with Josh again and ends up being much better in bed.
    • Played for Laughs in "Little Girl Blues" when the young Travis asks for sex advice from the other guys, they all act with bravado at first, but they all admit they don't have any advice other than sex for a man is "living in constant fear of disappointing a woman".
  • Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: David is the husband of Rebecca's Sitcom Archnemesis Audra Levine, and he hooked up with Rebecca in college. She says he was a really rotten lay. It's a Running Gag that every time he shows up Rebeca mocks him for finishing quickly and having a small penis. It's not clear if this is literally true or just something Rebecca made up to mock her.
  • Cucumber: Despite Dean's Extreme Libido he doesn't have the sexual stamina to back it up, much to the frustration of his sexual partners.
  • Daybreak (2019): Jayden Hoyles, the biggest Dumb Jock and Jerk Jock in school, had open sex in a stall in the girl's bathroom without even trying to hide it. He was so unimpressive that the girl he was doing it with was casually scrolling through her phone with a mildly bored expression like she wasn't even having sex in the first place.
  • Desperate Housewives: Edit Britt claims her first husband was terrible in bed and she spent the entire marriage faking a lot of orgasms. But she claims it was Worth It since it taught her how to lie and bluff.
  • The Dropout: When we see Elizabeth sleeps with her boyfriend at Stanford, it's boring and rhythmic sex, while she stares blankly at the ceiling, clearly not enjoying it, all while the boyfriend ironically sings along "Rock Your Body" and doesn't notice her disinterest.
  • Emmerdale: Lawrence White is so awful in bed that he allows his Trophy Wife Bernice to have affairs as long as they're not public. This infuriates his daughter Chrissie who finds her father is humiliating himself. Then she finds out she herself is not his daughter because he had a similar relationship with his first wife/her mother and Chrissie's biological father was one of the illicit lovers she had, but Lawrence decided to accept and adopt Chrissie anyway.
  • Empire: Tiana was briefly humiliated by her boyfriend Graham when he not only dumped her via a video but also spread rumors that he did because she was "wack in bed".
  • Everybody Loves Raymond: Ray himself admits to being bad in bed and has to go to great lengths to convince his wife Debra to actually have sex.
  • Farscape: The Alternate Reality Episode "Unrealized Reality" has two examples:
  • Fleabag: A recurrent trait with Fleabag's Love Interests.
    • Arsehole Guy is a Proud Beauty who's vain and self-involved and ends up being dull in bed.
    • Bus Rodent is an awkward and posh Upper-Class Twit who seems clueless about anything related to sex, not even knowing what to do with a vibrator. Unsurprisingly, he turns out to be awful in bed.
    • Averted to the point of parody with the Hot Misogynist, an arrogant misogynist douche whom Fleabag is sure will turn out to be a Handsome Lech who's awful in bed. But then he turns out to be a Sex God who gives nine orgasms in a single night. This actually makes her dislike him more, due to the idea that such a Jerkass being good in bed feels wrong.
  • Frasier:
    • In "Space Quest", Frasier overhears Roz talking on the phone to her mom about how disappointing sex with her ex Gary was.
      Roz: I mean, he knew where all the parts were. Unfortunately, most of them were his... Yes. Totally passionless. It was like he was thinking of someone else... I know I was.
    • In "The Wiseguy", Brandy doesn't have anything good to say about Jerome's bedroom performance.
      Brandy: Money ain't everything, especially when you've got a sex life like ours...
      Roz: He's not even good in bed?
      Brandy: Who knows? We're never there long enough to find out. I said to him last night, 'What the hell was that? I've been vaccinated slower!'
  • Friends: Early on, Chandler was portrayed as being bad in bed, something he was very aware of, but eventually (and with Monica's help) he got much better, to the point Monica thinks he's the best she's ever had.
  • Game of Thrones: Played With in "High Sparrow". When the virgin and naïve Tommen, who's barely a teen, consummates his Arranged Marriage to the experienced Margaery Tyrell, who's in her twenties, it's obviously not satisfying for her while he gets spent quickly. But she's too politically savvy to let something like that bother her and simply pretends it was an ideal wedding night in order to keep him happy. The next days in court, she acts like they're Insatiable Newly Weds and spread rumors about how he's "a lion in bed", to create the image that the new boy-king of Westeros is a real man.
    • House of the Dragon: King Viserys is portrayed as a selfish and poor lover in his marriage with Alicent, as seen in a sex scene where he dispassionately humps away on top of her while she has a Thousand-Yard Stare, clearly not enjoying laying with him and only doing it out of duty. He's either ignorant or uncaring about her lack of satisfaction. This makes sense since he never truly loved Alicent and only married her to ensure the survival of the Targaryen dynasty. Any passion he might have had in the bedroom probably died with his One True Love Aemma. That said, all the effort and skill in the world probably couldn't overcome the more essential problem here - that Alicent is obligated to have sex with a much older man she does not desire and who has infected wounds all over his body. She probably wouldn't be into it no matter what Viserys did.
  • Girlfriends:
    • In "All in a Panic", Joan becomes an Insecure Love Interest towards William, being reluctant to be intimate with him due to knowing his previous lover, her friend Lynn, is a Sex Goddess that she can't possibly measure up to... until she learns from Lynn that William himself is mediocre in bed, with Lynn scoring him a "4 out of 10 and that's rounding up". This actually cheers up Joan, since they will be "on the same level", but naturally makes William very upset. But Toni and Joan are also puzzled since William is well-endowed and fits the Black Is Bigger in Bed stereotype, but Lynn denies the idea that Bigger Is Better in Bed.
    Lynn: Just because a man has a 747 doesn't mean he knows how to land it.
    • Toni is infamous for being incredibly selfish and only having All Take and No Give relationships and she says she simply lies completely still during sex, dead fish style. Overall she has little passion or enjoyment for sex, having had only six orgasms her entire life.
  • Glee: Finn has a big problem with premature ejaculation even before he starts having sex, having climaxed with Quinn while sharing a hot tub and with Rachel via a simple kiss. When he does have sex with Santana, it turns out to be an awful experience for her, to the point that in "The First Time" she feels obligated to 'warn' Rachel about how bad Finn is in the sack before Rachel sleeps with him.
    Santana: Speaking from experience, Finn is terrible in bed. If Rachel wants to have my sloppy seconds, she should know what she's getting into. It was like being smothered by a sweaty out-of-breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray.
  • The Golden Girls:
    • Dorothy's ex-husband Stan was terrible in bed, a fact that Dorothy frequently brings up when talking about her lousy marriage. For example, when the girls talk about their first times having sex, Dorothy says that Stan only lasted thirty seconds and she wasn't even sure they'd actually done anything until nine months later when she gave birth.
    • The episode "Love Me Tender" inverts the trope. Sophia signs Dorothy up for a computer dating service, and she's paired with Eddie, a short, bald, average-looking, and altogether boring man who's still not over his ex-wife. Dorothy is completely unimpressed...but it turns out that Eddie is amazing at sex, to the point where she calls him the best lover she's ever had. Unfortunately, the phenomenal physicality isn't enough to make up for his complete lack of a personality, and she ends things with him. Surprisingly, Eddie himself knows that he has nothing going for him except his skill in bed, and laments that he's been Blessed with Suck: everything he does turns women on, but anyone who's actually worth dating inevitably breaks things up because they realize that sex alone can't build a relationship.
  • grown•ish: When Ana and her Love Interest Javi have sex for the first time while under a Vow of Celibacy, it turns out to be terrible with him being completely unable to satisfy her and her actually injuring him. After some soul-searching, they both blame it on their religious guilt and decide to break up... but then we Smash Cut to a Post-Coital Collapse on the sofa, with their second time being much better, leading them to the conclusion that Sex Is Good and abandoning their Vow of Celibacy.
  • Happy Endings: When Max, Brad, and Penny are complaining about 'thumb-face' Larry, Brad says he doesn't like how he forcibly looks at his shirt tags, Penny doesn't like his repetitive stories, and Max says he's bad in bed. The other gives him a look, shocked that he slept with Larry to know that, and Max weakly tries to pass it off as ...Or So I Heard.
    Max: Yeah, plus he's bad in bed.
    Max: I've heard. From people. Who are me.
  • Heroes: Played for Laughs in "Shades Of Gray". Danko is interrogating a captive Tracy, trying to get her to tell him some dirt on Nathan. At first, it seems like she was going to tell him about Nathan's ability to fly, but it turns out she just tells him that Nathan was 'lousy in bed'. Danko is annoyed while Nathan looks put out as he watched the interrogation over the security cameras.
  • House:
    • Lucas, House's romantic rival for Cuddy in season 6, is implied to not be good in bed and often leaves Cuddy sexually frustrated, such as in "Nine to Five" when he only lasts for a whopping two minutes, much to her displeasure.
    • In "Act Your Age", the father of the Patient of the Week felt he was too old to be able to sexually satisfy his younger lover, so he began to rely on testosterone cream so he wouldn't disappoint her, but this ended up causing him to pass the excess hormones to his daughter via sweat.
  • How I Met Your Mother: Discussed in "The Yips" when Barney discovers that Rhonda, the older woman he lost his virginity to, who told him he had "rocked her world", had actually exaggerated because his brother had asked her to. Despite bedding many women since then, Barney loses his confidence over this revelation... until he sleeps with Rhonda again and this time actually does rock her world. Justified, since Barney has since gotten a lot of experience in love-making since that first time, proving that practice makes perfect.
  • How to Get Away with Murder: In "It's Called the Octopus", it's revealed that Aidan was so bad at sex that Michaela never had an orgasm during the entire time they were together, and Connor promptly mocks him for it.
  • Inside No. 9: In "To Have and to Hold", Adrian and Harriet's relationship is totally dead following her affair. Despite her best efforts to liven things up, Adrian is totally impotent, and is The Bore to boot. And then the real reason for his impotency is revealed: he's imprisoned a woman as his Sex Slave in the basement.
  • The Interns: In "Season 1, Episode 4", Gleb starts some Malicious Slander about his and Varya's (nonexistent) sex life due to her rejecting him. She strikes back by starting a rumor that he has a Teeny Weenie and his attempt to disprove the rumor ends up creating a rumor that he and Romanenko are gay. Varya thinks herself victorious... until she realizes people now think that she was their Last Het Romance because she's awful in bed. She's forced to clarify everything, rather than let people think that of her.
  • In Treatment: When Laura has an affair with Alex, she describes him as an inattentive and stale lover who treated her like an "assignment" or a "mission" to complete, and tried to touch her as little as possible. And then he ended up climaxing in under two minutes then simply left to clean up, leaving her high and dry. She assumes part of it is due to psychological issues since he hasn't had sex with anyone save for his wife in years.
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: In "The Gang Group Dates", Dee, who's in a man-hating mood, decides to Invoke this when using a dating website that allows women to give their dates star ratings. She sleeps with several men and rates them all a "1", thinking they will all be livid or distraught at the idea they're such lousy lovers but this ends up backfiring since she discovers most men actually don't care and are just happy for the sex and come back for more despite Dee's bad ratings.
  • Jane the Virgin: Downplayed with Michael, who's not horrendously bad at sex so much as he is... well, a realistic degree of skilled at it, with him overestimating his abilities to please until Jane lets him know he needs to improve.
  • Leverage: In "The Second David Job", this is Played for Laughs when Elliot is having a date with Maggie (Nate's ex-wife) for a job, and Nate and the rest of the crew are listening in from a nearby van via Elliot's button camera. During the conversation, Maggie suddenly starts talking about Nate's many defects, but the one that stings the most is her saying he had no redeeming qualities "in bed", which prompts the team inside the van to cringe while Nate remains store-faced. But given she reveals she knew about Elliot's button camera soon after, it's implied she just said it to mess with Nate.
  • Lost Girl In "Destiny's Child", Hugin wants revenge on his brother Mugin for "stealing his wife", but we learn in the end she actually left him for Mugin because he was a total dud in bed.
    Hugin: I can't tell you how much I'm going to enjoy eating the heart right out of your chest.
    Hugin's Wife: If you'd been better at eating certain things while we were married, I wouldn't have left you for your brother.
  • Lovesick: Ivan has the self-explanatory Embarrassing Nickname Ivan the Terrible (In Bed), supposedly from a Speed Sex incident.
  • Lucifer: In "The Would-Be Prince of Darkness", a man named Justin went around claiming to be Lucifer Morningstar to get free drinks and pick up chicks. He ends up making Lucifer look bad in the process, one particular grievance being that he sucked in bed, ending quickly and crying afterward.
  • Married... with Children:
    • Played for Laughs with Al Bundy, who is most of the time deliberately avoiding having sex with his wife Peggy, and on the rare occasion they do have sex, Peggy will end up disappointed with how quickly and terrible he is in bed. Soon her mocking him for his "5-second sex" became a Running Gag that got more and more exaggerated, such as lasting two seconds after a stay in the hospital.
      Peg: I used to call you the Minuteman. Now I long for those days.
    • Invoked in "Kiss of the Coffee Woman". Kelly and Jefferson are filming a series of coffee commercials, with the last commercial featuring Kelly's and Jefferson's characters soon after having sex. When they rehearse the scene, Jefferson takes offense at the idea that Kelly's character was left unsatisfied by his character's performance and even tells the director that he won't shoot the commercial unless the script is changed to say how he was a good lover, since he is a good lover behind the camera, unlike his actual wife, Marcie (who was standing nearby and throws a bagel at him).
  • Maude: Maude Findlay grouses to her neighbor that sex with her husband Walter is "Honk (right breast), honk (left breast), honk (pubis), and [rolls] over like a beached whale."
  • Mc Callum: A Girl of the Week who's Not Staying for Breakfast pinches a brand-new shirt and leaves a score of McCallum's bedroom performance written on the wall. Despite him being portrayed as The Casanova, it's not very high.
  • The Mindy Project: Invoked in "The One That Got Away", Danny is regretting his decision to be a sperm donor, and to help him Mindy tells the interested couple a list of Danny's many flaws (most made up) to convince them to drop Danny. The one that bothers Danny the most is that he's "boring in bed" and he protests in indignation that "Missionaries are extremely adventurous!".
  • Misfits:
    • Curtis is said shown to be utterly hopeless in the sack. Emma calls it to worst sex of her life and Alisha also says he's rubbish due to being selfish and not focusing on his partner's pleasure.
    • Nathan's also terrible at anything related to sex, being so clumsy and gross that his sexcapades are played for Cringe Comedy. He's been shown to suffer from premature ejaculation, has got his finger stuck in a girl's vagina during foreplay, has displayed an O-face so off-putting and bizarre that his partner started laughing hysterically when she saw it, and once told a story about how he "tripled" himself during sex, meaning you ejaculate, puke and shit yourself all at once.
  • My Name Is Earl: Randy is a Fat Slob who is an Abhorrent Admirer to Spicy Latina Catalina for season 1 and 2. Season 2 has a plot where she gets into a Citizenship Marriage with him, and when he gives her a public Love Confession and says he wants to make their marriage real, she doesn't have the heart to humiliate him by rejecting him. Joy convinces Catalina that the best way to "let him down gently" is to sleep with him, but give him terrible sex so he'll never want her again. So Catalina makes herself as unattractive as possible by adding hair to her lips and armpits and rubbing fish, cheese, and onions over her arms and legs. It works and she manages to "wipe out two years of love with two hours of torture", but what she didn't expect is that he gave her the best sex of her life, leading to a Unrequited Love Switcheroo.
  • The New Statesman: A Running Gag with Alan B'Stard is that he tends to be very quick in bed in regards to sex and is poorly endowed. As such, the women who have sex with him usually regret it, if not by that, then by his very repellant personality and very homophobic, racist, and sexist views. Not that he ever realizes this, as he thinks that he is a good lover.
  • The O.C.: In "The Heartbreak", when Seth loses his virginity to Summer and they have Their First Time, it's an awkward and clumsy experience, much to Seth's dismay. Seth starts to freak out that she will dump him because of how awful he was (he tells Ryan he was "like a fish flopping around on dry land"). Naturally, she doesn't and gives him another chance, which is much less awkward. In the end, she also confesses she was a virgin herself and shares responsibility for their awkward first time.
  • Once Upon a Time: Played for Drama in "The Dark Swan" when Zelena (who had raped Robin by pretending she was his wife Marian) deliberately taunts him in order to emasculate him further by reminding him of their sex and making sure he knows he never managed to give her any enjoyment.
  • One Tree Hill: Chase's being lackluster in bed due to his lack of 'staying power' is a Running Gag, with several characters teasing him about it, even his Love Interest Mia.
  • Part of Me: Elena may be gorgeous and seductive but it's heavily implied to not as amazing in the sack as she thinks she is. While she enjoys pouncing on her lover and partner-in-crime Gerardo (who is a Sex God due to his past as a gigolo), he doesn't really seem to enjoy it as much and is implied she has him do all the work during sex. This becomes even more clear once starts an affair with the new Mónica, with their lovemaking being shown to be passionate and mutually satisfied, while his scenes with Elena shown that she is satisfied but he's often stone-faced or putting on a fake smile.
  • Riverdale: In "Unbelievable", before Glen tries to assault Betty, he tries to insult Archie.
    Glen: Come on, that pipsqueak? He satisfies you? Really?
    Betty: A lot more than you ever did.
  • The Robinson: Vicky manages to attract a gynecologist because her Brutal Honesty demeanor is a turn-on for him. She is excited at the protest of sleeping with him on the idea that a gynecologist would know his way around a woman's body and be amazing an amazing lay, but he turns out to be a really lousy one instead. Suddenly he finds her honesty not-so-attractive when she's ridiculing his bedroom performance.
  • Scream Queens:
    • Chanel #1 is gorgeous and she knows it, having no trouble getting men into bed. But due to her entitled Alpha Bitch personality, she truly believes she doesn't have to put any effort into the sex, and can just be a completely dead fish in bed, assuming guys should be satisfied with the fact she's beautiful. Brock is quite put-off by this and only managed to reach orgasm with her because he was thinking about Munsch at the time. Even when he ends up shouting Munsch's name, Chanel's reaction is to just be somewhat disgusted and then put on headphones so she doesn't have to listen to him anymore.
      Chanel: Look. Brock. I'm sorry, okay? But... I'm hot. I don't have to be good in bed. I just lay here and let hot dudes pork me.
    • Chad is a massive asshole who is absolutely terrible in bed, thanks to his necrophilia. Dean Munsch finds him a poor lover and Chanel also establishes that she fakes it in bed with him. Though she does jump at every half chance to sleep with him.
  • Saturday Night Live: The character "Guy who Just Bought a Boat" is a man who's so terrible at sex he bought a boat in order to compensate.
  • Seinfeld: Butt-Monkey George Costanza is consistently shown to be disappointing in bed. He even messes up at opening condoms.
    • In "The Smelly Car", After George sees his ex-girlfriend Susan with another woman, and confirms that she started dating women right after they broke up, he starts worrying that being with him was such an awful experience that it put her off men entirely. When he confronts Susan about it, she dismisses the idea as totally ridiculous... however, George's fear is all but confirmed at the end of the episode when the two of them run into another one of George's exes, who starts flirting with Susan almost immediately.
    • In "The Mango", George confesses to Jerry (via a Seinfeldian Conversation) that his oral sex skills are so bad, that his Girl of the Week told him to give it up by tapping him on the shoulder during sex. This sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, making him unable to perform and thinking her (and all the women he's ever been with) probably faked their orgasms. Jerry also finds out that Elaine faked all her orgasms when they were together, and is appalled. When she gives him another chance... he still fails to do it.
    • In "The Blood", George starts to become hungry during sex with his Girl of the Week, so he starts sneaking food in her bedroom so he gets a chance to eat and she clearly doesn't appreciate him caring more about eating than making love to her. Even Jerry can't sympathize.
      Jerry: So, she didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats?
      George: She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce, but eh, it's not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It's only natural to combine them.
      Jerry: Natural? Sex is about love between a man and a woman, not a man and a sandwich.
      George: Jerry, I'm not suggesting getting rid of the girl. She's integral.
      Jerry: Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else's.
  • Sex and the City:
    • Many of the Guy of the Week turn out to be rather lousy lovers who fail to give the girls orgasms and the girls talk about it rather often.
      Samantha: Is he really that bad in bed?
      Miranda: No, he's just, he's a guy. They can re-build a jet engine but when it comes to a woman, what's the big mystery? It's my clitoris, not the Sphinx.
      Samantha: It's not really their fault you know, they don't come with a manual. If I had a son I'd teach him all about the vagina.
    • The episode "Was It Good for You?" is about Charlotte becoming incredibly insecure about her sexual prowess when the Guy of the Week ends up falling asleep on top of her during sex. He claims he's just overworked (he's a doctor) but the damage is done and Charlotte is convinced she's terrible in bed and even takes up tantric yoga lessons to 'improve'. When Carrie and Samantha discuss this, Loveable Sex Maniac Samantha affirms that being good in bed is incredibly important and defines a person's character.
      Carrie: Is it really that important?
      Samantha: Absolutely. Who we are in bed is who we are in life. I never met a man who was bad in bed who was good at life.
  • Sex/Life: The premise of the show is Billie being sexually frustrated due to Cooper, her husband, being a boring and stale lover. One scene even shows her urging him to "do it slower" but he's unable to do it. This causes her to start to long for the sexually adventurous days of her youth and she struggles with the dilemma that stale sex life is a serious enough issue to ruin her otherwise happy marriage.
  • Sexify: Paulina's longtime boyfriend Mariusz is a Nice Guy, but a boring and lackluster lover. Their sex mostly involves her staring at the ceiling while Mariusz awkwardly humps her for a couple of minutes before collapsing on top of her and rolling off. And he doesn't seem to mind that he never makes her orgasm. Most of her arc in season 1 involves her trying to unsuccessfully spice up their sex until she ultimately breaks up with him in the Season Finale.
  • Shameless (UK): Tony is, by his own admission, a "10 second wonder" and is implied his lack of staying power is one of the reasons why Fiona never bothered to date him again after she took his virginity. He's so unimpressed he confesses to Sheila he never got a girl to sleep with him twice. Sheila takes pity on him and uses her "squeeze technique" to help improve his stamina.
  • Silicon Valley: In "Customer Service", Richard ends up sleeping with Liz and according to her the sex was horrible in every single respect and it ends saving her marriage with Dan because at least he isn't that bad. He pretends he thought was bad for him too, but it's clear by the way he talks he thought it went fine. Played for Laughs when the exchange becomes an Overly-Long Gag
    Liz: As bad as it was, you know, and it was bad, um...
    Richard: Okay.
    Liz: Like... really... awful.
    Richard: I get it.
    Liz: I just... If there's an upside to any of this, it would be that I realize now what I have in Dan.
    Richard: Silver lining, so that's nice.
  • Smash: After Ivy has enough of Derek's mean and snide comments she explodes at him with a big The Reason You Suck speech in front of the whole cast, exposing the fact he slept with her and other actresses and punctuating by saying he's an average-looking Narcissist who's not that good in bed.
  • Spartacus: Blood and Sand: Whenever Rhaskok has sex, he just pumps as fast as he can until he ejaculates, then pulls out and leaves with no consideration for his partner.
  • Spin City: When Paul uses having a quickie with Claudia as a part of an alibi, Mike takes the opportunity to take a jab at Paul's bedroom prowess since the time period they were supposedly having sex was very short.
    Mike: All right, well, I'm satisfied. Claudia probably less so.
  • Stark Raving Mad: Subverted and Played for Laughs in "The Man Who Knew Too Much". When Ian first meets Tess, he poses as a relationship counselor and unwittingly learns that she finds her boyfriend (Henry) is a total dud in the sack due to him being too boring and vanilla. This prompts Ian and Henry to go to an S&M shop to buy things to spice up Henry's sex life. But then Ian finds out the Tess he met isn't the same Tess that Henry was dating, and that Henry actually traumatized his Tess with all the kinky S&M stuff he got.
  • Sugar Rush: Invoked when Kim has to convince Guillaume to go on a second date with Sugar. She first tries to appeal to him emotionally, but he's too much of a jerk to care. What does work is telling him he didn't manage to give Sugar an orgasm (which isn't true) and if he doesn't go she will forever think he's crap in bed. He's horrified at the prospect and agrees to see her again.
  • That '70s Show:
    • In "Afterglow", after Donna and Eric have Their First Time, Eric feels ecstatic but Donna was very disappointed with the experience. When she confesses it to Jackie, Jackie immediately interprets it as Eric being bad in bed. When Donna protests and claims she was probably bad at it too, Jackie replies that "It's not up to the woman to be good". And despite Donna asking her to keep it a secret, Jackie immediately tells Kelso that "Eric was lame in the sack", who quickly proceeds to tell it to the guys so he can "burn" Eric with it. At first, Eric is crushed and has a fight with Donna, but by the end of the episode they talk and agree they both need "practice" and their second time is... a little better.
    • Played With in "Whole Lotta Love". When the virgin Fez has his first time with Nina, his sexual inexperience makes for an awful and awkward experience. His friends all pity him, and he fears that this means Nina will break up with him but she instead suggests that they practice until he gets better.
      Fez: Well, our faces didn't line up right, so I kept bumping my chin on her nose. And then there were some sounds.
      Hyde: What kind of sounds?
      Fez: Well, I will say this, it was not applause. There was no romantic music like in the movies, so I had to hum. And then Nina told me to stop humming. And, uh, then I started again without realizing it. And then she got mad. And then I think she got sad. (...) And then afterwards, I went into the bathroom, and, uh... And cried a little. And then I snuck out the back door.
      Donna: Poor Fez. Well, you know, at least it couldn't have been any worse.
      Fez: I left my underwear in her bathroom.
  • Toast of London: Toast is pretty terrible at sex, and his sex scenes are also shot with Fan Disservice in mind, often focusing on slow-motion close-ups of his ridiculous facial expressions or on Mrs. Purchase's very bored face. In "Beauty Calls", Toast describes his latest sexcapade to Ed as "Straight down to it, over in seconds" and "A quick park. No foreplay. Just the way the ladies like it."
  • Turn: In "Gunpowder, Treason, and Plot", Peggy engages in unfulfilling sex with Benedict Arnold, where we see her blankly staring ahead while she's being boned from behind.
  • Two and a Half Men:
  • Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps: Invoked in "Who's The Daddy?". While Gaz and Donna are broken up, Gaz likes to brag about being a Chick Magnet that's constantly picking women to make her jealous, while the truth is he's actually been alone and sulking ever since they broke up. But he succeeds at making Donna jealous, and to get back at him she implies he was terrible in bed while they were together which greatly upsets him and destroys his self-esteem, to the point he gets run over by a car while sulking about it. It's only at the hospital that they make up and she confesses she also lied about him being bad at sex.
  • Veronica Mars:
    • Though it's possible he's just saying it to annoy Veronica, Logan insults her then-boyfriend Duncan's prowess by saying that, if the cuddling was the best part, he didn't do it "right". Veronica and Duncan then break up (due to circumstances, not because of the sex) and Logan goes on to be part of an Official Couple with Veronica, following the inference that Logan is a much better and more enthusiastic lay than Duncan.
    • Zigzagged before being played straight. Mac wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend, the otherwise-sympathetic Cassidy Casablancas, who's very nervous and averse to sex and sexuality in general, to the point where Mac thinks there's something wrong with her. When they finally get around to trying to have sex for real, Cassidy can't get it up. Immediately after this, it's then revealed that Cassidy is a mass-murderer who raped Veronica while she was unconscious before the start of the series.
  • Vikings: In order to get Earl Bjarni as an ally, Earl Haraldson gets his young daughter Thyri into an Arranged Marriage to him. Since Bjarni is an old Fat Bastard, both Thyri and her mother Siggy are dissatisfied with this decision. Thyri is repulsed by him on their wedding night, and he's completely uncaring about her comfort and forces himself on her and ends up passing out drunk on top of her. In a later episode, we see him collapsing next to her after sex, with her still looking clearly revolted by him; he complains about her being frigid and unenthusiastic during sex, and threatens to beat her if she remains that way. Thankfully for her, the alliance is rendered moot when Haraldson is defeated, and her mother saves her from her Awful Wedded Life by personally killing Bjarni.
  • You:
    • Becky on-again-off-again cheating boyfriend Benji is terrible in bed, something that Joe smugly notices when he's stalking Becky and happens to see them having sex. Benji not only finishes quickly, but he's uncaring about making her climax and leaves instead, leaving a frustrated Beck to relieve herself via masturbation. In a later episode, she also says that he used to nod off when trying to go down on her.
    • Ironically, when Joe finally manages to sleep with Beck for the first time, he proves to be just as selfish as Benji when he lasts even less and doesn't even say anything, leaving her dry. He only notices something's really wrong the next morning when Beck texts her girlfriends about how quick he was and the girls all promptly mock him and act like it's a deal-breaker, much to Joe's anger and humiliation (who can see their messages because he stole Beck's previous phone).

  • "Half The Way" by Crystal Gayle is about a singer whose lover has Commitment Issues, but the chorus takes a double meaning where it turns into an Intercourse with You bit where the singer expresses disappointment that her lover's Commitment Issues also translate into him being unable to bring her to orgasm.
    So fill me up
    To the top
    Oh don't you stop
    'Til I'm overflowin'
    Love is the seed
    And babe I need
    You to keep it growin' stronger every day
    Oh love
    Don't take me half the way!
  • The Flight of the Conchords song "Business Time," a largely spoken-word Intercourse with You tune about a couple making love every Wednesday. The narrator doesn't seem to understand his girlfriend is unimpressed by his poor stamina and even seems to think it's a good thing.
    When it's with me, you only need two minutes, 'cause I'm so intense
  • Lily Allen: This is the point of her song "Not Fair", where the singer is dating a seemingly perfect Nice Guy, with the exception that he's complete rubbish in bed. Allen indicates throughout the song that this does matter and isn't a case of Minor Flaw, Major Breakup, as she points out it speaks very poorly of a lover who doesn't put in the effort to satisfy their partner, comparing it to an All Take and No Give relationship.
  • The Lonely Island:
    • In "I Just Had Sex" the singers celebrate having sex for the first time. They don't recognize or care that the sex wasn't very good and lasted 30 seconds or that their partner was clearly unimpressed, all that it matters is that the Quest for Sex was completed.
      She kept lookin' at her watch (doesn't matter, I had sex!)
      But I cried the whole time (doesn't matter, I had sex!)
      I think she might've been a racist (doesn't matter, I had sex!)
      She put a bag on my head (still counts!)
    • The Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist of "Jizzed in My Pants", as the title indicates, is so oversensitive he's lucky to barely begin foreplay. Although his dysfunction is so severe it's almost horrifying, comedy comes from how he keeps trying to bed anonymous women he can't please and acting like it isn't a problem.
      Don't tell your friends, or I'll say you're a slut
      Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
      I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
      Now I'll go home and change
  • Ninja Sex Party: A recurring theme of the songs and music videos is Danny's inability to get with or have actual sex with a girl (with his escapades being referred to as "almost sex" at one point). "Three Minutes of Ecstasy" in particular is about his refusal to have sex for longer than three minutes, with the girl being confused and unsatisfied in every scene. This being Ninja Sex Party, it's Played for Laughs to show Danny as just being clueless about romance and having massively Skewed Priorities, rather than him being a jerk.
  • Paul Williams: "The Hell of It" is a the "Reason You Suck" song to someone who died and was Hated by All, and the chorus makes a point to insult their sexual prowess too.
    Good for nothing, bad in bed,
    Nobody likes you, you're better off dead
  • Theory of a Deadman: "The Truth Is... (I Lied About Everything)", is a Break Up Song with the singer giving a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to his toxic girlfriend, including insulting her sexual prowess:
    Bad in bed, you suck at giving head
    You've gone and got me thinking I'd be better off dead
  • Being that he's the most worthless person in the world, Eminem's Villain Protagonist Slim Shady is noted in numerous songs to be terrible at sex — a nerd into depraved, irresponsible kinks who degrades, bullies, attempts to control and/or batters any woman unlucky enough to sleep with him. Reflecting Eminem's Creator Recovery, a few songs in Eminem's middle-to-late career (e.g. "So Bad", "2015 Sway and Tech Freestyle", "Campaign Speech") present Slim as a slightly better lover where he's having equally gross sex but both he and the woman are into it.

  • My Dad Wrote a Porno: Tony is implied at various points to be an unsatisfying lover. This is already suggested by the fact that Giselle's hair does not fall out during their relationship or marriage despite her "genital disease", and Giselle later muses that she enjoys receiving cunnilingus from Spooner much more than sleeping with Tony. Maeve also later laughs at Tony for his "sexual ineptitude".

  • Chicago: Despite being one of the few nice people in the story, Amos Hart is a Butt-Monkey who is consistently portrayed as a terrible lover to his wife Roxie, due to his Extreme Doormat personality. This also leads to him being an Emasculated Cuckold since she's often cheating on him.
  • In Niccolò Machiavelli La Mandragola, it's heavily implied that Lucrezia avoids sex with her older and foolish husband Nicia by praying until Nicia eventually gets tired and goes to sleep alone.
  • Six: The Musical: Discussed by more than one of the Ex-Wives that, while the show's version of Henry VIII usually blamed whichever wife he had at the time for not producing a male heir, Henry was the one who was bad in bed, along with being a chronic adulterer. Boleyn in particular calls him out on it, leading to her infamous beheading in "Don't Lose Your Head".
    "You damned witch"
    Mate, just shut up
    I wouldn't be such a b-
    If you could get it up!
  • Inverted in "Because He Liked To Look At It", from The Vagina Monologues. This monologue is written from the POV of a woman who thanks to an attentive lover she initially dismissed as a loser (he hates spicy food, wears khaki, and does not like Prince, to her horror), stops thinking of her vagina as ugly.
  • In Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Martha throws this accusation at her husband George during one of her many, many The Reason You Suck Speeches to him, calling him a "big, fat FLOP."

    Video Games 

    Visual Novels 
  • Hiveswap Friendsim: In Lanque's bad ending, the Reader will die of shame after being told by Lanque that their skills in bed are subpar.
  • School Days: Bromantic Foil Taisuke is incredibly bad at sex, in contrast to the main character Makoto who is a Sex God. In most versions of the story, most of the girls want nothing to do with Taisuke and see him as an Abhorrent Admirer, and he only gets to sleep with any of them via pressure or by raping them. Even in versions where he does manage to sleep with Hikari consensually, it's still made explicitly clear she was disappointed with his performance.

    Web Animation 
  • Helluva Boss:
    • On "Ozzies", during Verosika's solo in "House of Asmodeus" she sings about how she was a generous lover to Blitzo during their relationship, but claims he was selfish and never returned the favor. note 
    Oh, Blitzo?
    I used to date him
    I'd stroke and I'd fellate him
    Yeah, but when it was my turn
    He did no reciprocatin'
    A selfish imp in the sheets
    And just as bad in the streets
    A reckless, heartbreaking freak
    • In "The Circus", Stella gleefully tells her friends about how Stolas is terrible in bed, claiming he just "lays there staring at the wall" while she has to do all the work, and explicitly derides him for being "pathetic". Naturally, it's heavily implied he simply hates having sex with Stella, mostly because he’s gay but also because she is a horrible person, as he's shown to be a far more active and participant lover when he's with Blitzo, even if he's implied to be still a bottom.
    • In "Exes And Oohs", Chaz is apparently an especially shitty lover despite apparently being well-endowed; both his known exes (Moxxie and Millie) have it as yet another reason to hate the guy, and Blitzo sleeps with him thinking he'll find out what those two love only to end up deriding the shark as one of the worst lays he's ever had. The implication is that Chaz is just too much of a self-centered sleazeball to please anyone that isn't himself.

  • Books of Adam: One strip has a bored woman laying in bed, wondering aloud "When will death come?", only for the next panel to reveal The Grim Reaper is trying to give her oral sex, but failing badly at it.
  • Least I Could Do: Despite Rayne's Extreme Libido and the fact he's The Casanova he's shown to care more about his own pleasure than his partners, such as in this strip when he walked out on a Girl of the Week after having a quickie because he already orgasmed, much to her ire.
    Girl of the Week: Don't you care about my sexual satisfaction?
    Rayne: [walking away] I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.
  • Las Lindas: Miles is a Handsome Lech who thinks he's god's gift to women, but most of the women he hits on think of him as an Abhorrent Admirer. When Mora relents and has Sex for Solace with him (partially to make Minos jealous) she finds he's actually really awful in bed, being a selfish lover and having poor stamina. She treats him with contempt and mockery after, and even in future stories after they become less hostile towards each other, she's still prone to tease him for his poor performance, establishing him as a Butt-Monkey. Much later, he starts dating Rachael and Took a Level in Kindness and even starts to work out to become a Hunk-body type to match his Amazonian Beauty girlfriend, but when they have Their First Time he still fails to satisfy her. Miles thinks Rachael will dump him and mock him as Mora did, but due to him being less of a Jerkass, Rachael treats him much more kindly and says they just need more practice to get used to each other, much to his relief, and the bonus material shows that he has taken that kindess to heart and improved his performance.
  • Megatokyo: When Largo has his first time with Erika he's not very good at it (it's heavily implied it was a case of Speed Sex) and he felt so bad and awkward he ran away from her before she could even speak. The next morning he's in a foul mood and thinks his relationship with her is "game over" but this gets Subverted when she finds him and she assures him it's not a big deal and they reconcile.
  • Ménage à 3:
    • Played straight with Didi's montage of numerous failed attempts at finding a boyfriend who doesn't suffer Jizzed in My Pants at the sight of her naked. When meeting one of them later on, he breaks down crying "I'm a failure as a man!" on learning she never had an orgasm.
    • Zigzagged with Gary. On the one hand, he does tend to be portrayed as a Butt-Monkey, even after he loses his virginity (finishing in less than a minute). On the other hand, his being bad at sex is only a symptom of his Extreme Doormat nature: even after he learns of and uses a kissing technique to dramatic effect for cunnilingus, has pornstars literally lining up outside his door to experience The Immodest Orgasm and generally becomes a living vibrator, he's still quite shy.
  • Oglaf:
    • Parodied in the strip "Afterglower", where the man who is really bad in the sack and so self-absorbed that he not only thinks he's good in bed but cares so little about his partner that he didn't notice he was male.
      Disappointed Man: You are really bad in bed.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Nah! I'm awesome in bed.
      Disappointed Man: See, this is part of the trouble. You're so far from good you don't even realize there's a problem.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Aw, come on! You loved it! You were all whimpering and shit!
      Disappointed Man: Crying. I was crying.
      Self-Absorbed Man: Heh. Women.
      Disappointed Man: [doing a Double Take] Are you honestly so self-absorbed that...
      Self-Absorbed Man: Shush. Sleep time now.
    • The strip "Submission" has a play on the "women are dead fish" type of lousy lover, where a woman propositions another while claiming she's a "submissive" in bed because she doesn't want to do any of the work. The other woman isn't impressed.
      Blonde Woman: I'm submissive in the sense that I don't want to do any work or take any responsibility. So to dominate me, you'll just need to do everything I want. Usually before I know I want it.
      Brunette Woman: So when you say "I'm submissive" you mean "I'm lazy and demanding".
    • A guy in some random town has a reputation as a Sex God, but after taking him for a tumble, one woman admits that she's underwhelmed. The guy explains that he wanted a magic amulet that enhanced his sexual prowess, but there's no such thing, so instead he got a magic amulet that makes everyone he sleeps with say he's amazing in bed.
  • Ozzie the Vampire: Kimmy says she broke up with one of her exes because he was a major Narcissist who was terrible at sex.
  • xkcd: The punchline of this strip, where reporters gather to talk to a scientist who claims the G-Spot doesn't exist, only to find they're interviewing the wrong scientist.
    Reporter: Is it true you've been unable to find evidence that the G-spot exists?
    Scientist: My research is in solar cells. I think you have the wrong press conference.
    Scientist: [hanging his head in defeat] But... yes.

    Web Original 
  • The Arkn Mythos: The Dekn Reyn has the habit of seducing her marks before she has them killed by setting them up to be found out. But during a mission to wipe out an entire French family, she seduces the family's patriarch but is so disappointed by his performance that she personally kills him prematurely.

    Web Videos 

    Western Animation 
  • American Dad!: Stan is a selfish lover and the majority of the sex scenes between Stan and Francine, it's mostly for Stan's satisfaction since he believes it proves his manliness. As such Francine started faking her orgasm on the regular.
    • Men (particularly Stan) being clueless about pleasuring women is used as a throwaway joke in the two-parter "Stan of Arabia". Francine sings a Torch Song about how much it sucks being a woman in a Muslim nation, at one point listing off various parts of the female anatomy. When she mentions the clitoris, one of Stan's Arab friends asks him what that is; Stan just shrugs.
    • Stan being so selfish in bed becomes a focal plot point in the episode "Poltergasm", when the Smith family is haunted by the ghost of Francine's sex life, who demands that Stan starts addressing Francine's need for pleasure and give her a proper release. Once they start doing it affectionately, they finally exorcise the house, and Francine's "poltergasm" disappears under a thunderous cry of orgasmic pleasure.
  • Batman: The Brave and the Bold: The episode "The Mask of Matches Malone!", has the song number "Birds of Prey", in which Black Canary, Huntress and Catwoman sing a song filled with Double Entendre and innuendo about the sexual prowess of some of DC's heroes, including mocking how some are inadequate lovers.
    Catwoman: Green Lantern has his special ring!
    Black Canary and Huntress: Pretty strong, that little thing!
    Black Canary: Blue Beetle's deeds are really swell!
    Huntress: But who will bring him out of his shell?
    Catwoman: Flash's foes, they finish last!
    Huntress: Too bad sometimes he's just too fast!
  • Big Mouth: Played With when Val and Leah have Their First Time in "Sugarbush", he's quick and clumsy. When they're done, Val collapses next to her and claims it was amazing while a clearly unsatisfied Leah hesitantly lies to assuage his ego. Bonnie sums it up with "It was pokey and fast and chaos. He promised you a happy cry, but left you feeling crappy and dry." But since Val actually acts willing to please her, it's more portrayed as Leah failing to communicate to him on what she likes. Once they talk, they try again and it ends up being... a little better.
  • Bojack Horseman: Despite the fact he Really Gets Around, BoJack being an unsatisfying lover is a Running Gag in the show, as he lacks staying power and doesn't really care about helping his partners achieve their own orgasms. This is better illustrated in "Zoes And Zeldas" where his two sex scenes with Princess Carolyn end with him orgasming before he even penetrates her.
  • The Boondocks: Played for Laughs in "Tom, Sarah and Usher". While Butt-Monkey Tom is thinking back on happy memories of his marriage to Sarah, one of the scenes shows them post-sex, with him collapsing exhausted and sweaty beside her while she has a bored and nonplussed expression, implying she was sexually unsatisfied and he's utterly clueless about it.
  • Duckman: Duckmans poor performance in the bedroom is a bit of a Running Gag on the show; he considers lasting ''40 seconds'' to be impressive, and in one episode, he thinks women crying means they're aroused, because every woman he's ever slept with always cried afterwards. However, it's also shown that his relationships with women who he's actually in love with tend to be a good deal healthier and satisfying for both of them, as shown in "The Girls Of Root-Canal", the story about how he met his wife Beatrice, who's dead by the time the show takes place.
  • Family Guy:
  • Futurama:
  • Harley Quinn (2019):
    • When Ivy meets Doctor Psycho's ex-wife Giganta, she immediately wonders how their sex worked. Apparently, really poorly, at least for her. Played for Laughs since the fact that he hypnotized her into marrying him doesn't bother her that much, but the fact he couldn't please her does.
    • In Season 3, there's a rare example where both partners are portrayed as lousy lovers in different ways that mirror their psychological issues. Batman and Catwoman are shown together with Batman performing some form of foreplay while Catwoman looks bored. Catwoman is portrayed as emotionally distant and selfish, and breaks up with Batman. Batman, by contrast, is portrayed as being needy and driven by the approval of others as a result of being unable to move on from the night his parents were murdered. This ends up being a major part of the season's plot, as he kidnaps Frank in order to try and revive his dead parents and accidentally triggers a Zombie Apocalypse.
  • Inside Job (2021): In "Ghost Protocol", after Reagan has a drunken one-night stand with Rafe Masters (a Corrupted Character Copy of James Bond), everyone seems to expect that she'd be impressed, but she just describes it as forgettable sex and thinks of him as a Handsome Lech. After he gets clingy and starts stalking her, she fakes her death just to avoid him. At the end of the episode, she gives him a "The Reason You Suck" Speech, explicitly pointing out that he has no clue on how to please a woman in bed.
    Reagan: I don't think that we have good sexual chemistry either! For a guy who's been with thousands of women, you really don't seem to know what you're doing down there!
  • Justice League: In the episode "The Great Brain Robbery", Lex Luthor and the Flash switch bodies. It is strongly implied that, as Luthor, the Flash has sex with Luthor's lover, the sorceress Tala. Tala is practically giddy afterwards, saying (among other things) that Lex has never been more "enthusiastic", the implication being that Lex is a poor or at least selfish lover. When the Flash and Luthor switch back later, Tala is clearly disappointed.
  • Much to the chagrin of his wife, Koala Man takes pride in getting his time doing it down to four minutes.


Video Example(s):


Stolas & Stella's Sex Life

Stella claims Stolas is a dead fish in bed to her friends, all while he's standing right beside them.

How well does it match the trope?

4.9 (21 votes)

Example of:

Main / LieBackAndThinkOfEngland

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