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Michael Wayne Rosen (born 7 May 1946) is an English children's author and poet, known for his work on YouTube where he tells his stories, complete with exuberant and hilarious expressions and gestures. He is most famous for "We're Going on a Bear Hunt", and he's a hugely popular source for YouTube Poop, mainly because his wide usage of words and virtually seamless videos give YTP makers maximum freedom in sentence mixing his videos and telling wholly different stories. His material can be found at his YouTube channel, previously known as "artificedesign", which was set up specially by one of his children Joe.

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Tropes in his poems and stories:

  • Anthropomorphic Food: "Fast Food" describes a hamburger running away from the bar where he's about to be fried. Contains a bit of a pro-vegetarian message as well.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: "The Bakerloo Flea" features, as the name implies, a flea the size of a large dog lurking in the Bakerloo subway tunnel.
  • Bears Are Bad News: We're Going on a Bear Hunt.
  • Black Comedy: Although "Strict" was actually a true story, it was about one of Rosen's old teachers who have the tendency to deprive her students of air (which results in most of them dying) and send the survivors to a prison underneath the school for minor offences such as slamming down their desk lids while catching air. This results in the class being reduced from 48 students to five within the space of a week, all of which is Played for Laughs.
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  • Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: The "Hot Jamaica Sauce" Michael uses in "Orange Juice" to foil the thief stealing his morning orange juice. Michael himself loves it, but warns that even a small speck is like "putting a match in your mouth!"
  • Boastful Rap: The satirical "Michael Rosen Rap" presents Michael bragging about all the amazing things he's done such as swimming the English Channel, becoming Prime Minister, robbing a bank, and closing all the schools in England. Before the age of 10.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Used in "The Outing" which was read from the teacher's perspective.
    Michael (as the teacher): Mervyn! If I hear about your jam, your sandwiches, or the jam in your sandwiches, if I hear about any of it once more, I shall give them to the ducks!
  • Brainy Baby: According to "The Michael Rosen Rap", Michael could walk and talk while still in the womb, was elected Prime Minister at age 8, and made King of the Fools at age 10.
  • Burger Fool: The Yum-Yum Burger Bar in "Custard's Last Stand" proves to be this, with the staff forced to work 12-to-16 hour shifts, paid less than minimum wage and not even allowed to take time off when they suddenly start getting sick. Of course, this turns out to be the least of the restaurant's problems...
  • Call-Back: Not really any of his stories reference each other unless they are in parts, but in "The Deal" it was mentioned of Michael's dad still complaining about the top of the toothpaste put in his shaving soap, which, by the uploading order, was first brought up on "Michael's Big Book of Bad Things Part 4".
  • Captain Obvious: Michael's father in "Hot Food". Everyone blows on their hot potatoes before eating them except for him, who puts the whole thing in his mouth and spits it out, saying "Watch out, everybody! The potato is really hot!".
  • Darker and Edgier: The stories under the label "Nasty!" are aimed at older readers, and thus rife with gruesome details and more realistic scenarios.
  • Deteriorates Into Gibberish: In "Chocolate Cake", Michael gets so excited at the prospect of eating the titular food that his speech dissolves into complete nonsense.
  • The Ending Changes Everything: The Skyfoogle is set up as a standard monster. However, it is heavily implied by the way Michael lingers on the fact that he (and by extension, the audience) never saw the salesperson again that the Skyfoogle never existed and the salesperson was actually a con artist.
  • Episode Title Card: Done with almost every single one of Michael's YT videos. The videos usually fade in from black with Michael announcing the title of the poem.
  • Evil Teacher: The teacher in "Strict", who refuses to let students breathe in her lessons.
  • Fire-Breathing Diner: "Orange Juice" has Michael gleefully imagining the person who steals his morning orange juice undergoing this, courtesy of half a bottle of hot sauce he added.
  • Gone Horribly Wrong: In "The Bakerloo Flea", the flea powder ends up killing all the rats in the Bakerloo tunnel instead of the flea itself. Deprived of its food source, the flea starves and turns aggressive, escalating the danger.
  • I Ate WHAT?!: The plot twist of "Custard's Last Stand". The Yum-Yum Burger Bar's meat, on top of being old and mouldy enough to cause fatal poisoning, is revealed to be from horses, donkeys and kangaroos bought ostensibly for pet food.
  • Innocently Insensitive: In "Harrybo", after hearing about the titular kid's grandfather passing away recently, Michael's other friend Dave mentions his hamster died as well. This causes the other pupils to hush him up.
    Dave: "I was only saying!"
  • Karma Houdini:
    • It's never stated what happened to the teacher in "Strict" after she deprived students of air and sent survivors of her class to a dungeon for minor offences.
    • Michael's mom never gets her comeuppance for depriving Michael of dessert and being a bitch about forcing him to eat something he doesn't like in "Tomato One".
  • Kitschy Themed Restaurant: The Yum-Yum Burger Bar in "Custard's Last Stand" was themed to the American Wild West, including all the staff dressing up in Wild West outfits and ridiculous names for the food.
  • Lost My Appetite: The titular "Hollywood" contains jelly and trifle, which Michael discovers he doesn't like, so he ends up not finishing it.
    • By the end of "Custard's Last Stand", Michael decides not to finish the burger he was eating at the start of the story. Understandable, given what he's just heard.
  • Nothing Is Scarier: It's never outright stated what happened to the tanker truck driver in "A Plague of Wasps in Winter" who got covered in golden syrup. The heavy implication, given how much wasps love sugar, is that the swarm ate most of him.
    • In "Custard's Last Stand", when Maeve looks into the slaughterhouse window, she sees something that horrifies her. What that is is left to the imagination.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: The woman who tells the stories in "Nasty!" is only referred to as "The Bakerloo Flea Woman", since that's the first story she tells to Michael.
  • Pain to the Ass: "Washing Up" has Michael get revenge on his brother by using the drying-up cloth like a whip when his back is turned, catching him right on the-
    Brian: OW! That hurt! I didn't hurt you!
  • Parody Commercial: "Toenails" is one for, well, toenails.
    Michael (announcer voice): Be like Jack! Be smart! Grow toenails!
  • Picky Eater: Played with in "Tomato One" and "Tomato Two". In the former, he recalls sulking as a kid when being asked to eat a tomato, as he hates their taste and texture, which results in him not getting dessert. In the second, he points out that he grew to love them by eating them on bread with some black pepper.
  • Potty Emergency: In "London Airport", Michael has one centered around having to "wee" when he and his brother Brian are on the bus at the titular airport.
  • Precision F-Strike: In "Orange Juice", after noticing that he had gotten no orange juice from the milkman, he says "Damn, the milkman's forgotten to deliver the orange!" Granted, "damn" is about as offensive in Britain as "crap" is in America.
  • Rule of Three: Many of his poems have an element that occurs three times, such as the "'til it's cool, just cool, then into the mouth... *click* Nice." in "Hot Food", or the jug of peach syrup in "Fridge" which has been replaced with a jug of thick cooking oil on the third time.
  • Sadist Teacher: Played for Laughs in "Strict". The teacher described in this story is apparently so strict that she forbids students from breathing in her class. Those who didn't keel over and die from not breathing were sent to "school prison" if they slammed the desk lid while snatching a quick breath under the desk, where they'd be strung up in a dungeon with rats nibbling at their toes.
    "Miss? Can I go out and do some breathing?"
    "No! You've got all playtime to do that!"
  • Serial Escalation: Very apparent in the stories "Washing Up" and "Chocolate Cake", of which the former features a full-on kitchen war between Michael and his brother Brian, and the latter featuring Michael eating more chocolate cake with every bite, culminating in Michael getting a knife and cutting up the entire rest and eating it.
  • "Shaggy Dog" Story: "The Skyfoogle". A man puts up a tent, promising to show off a terrifying creature called the Skyfoogle. He then runs out of the tent, claiming the Skyfoogle to have escaped. None of them has seen the man, their money, or the Skyfoogle again.
  • The Remake: Michael filmed another performance of "Hot Food" in 2011.
  • Shout-Out: Possibly the title of "Tomato Two, or How I Learned to Love Tomatoes" (which gets interesting when you realize Michael is British.)
  • Wicked Wasps: Zig-zagged in "A Plague of Wasps in Winter". The wasps are sluggish in the cold weather and sting on reflex instead of actively attacking people. Not in the case of the unfortunate tanker truck driver, though.

 
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Michael Rosen

In his poem "Strict", Michael Rosen tells a story of his experience with a teacher who didn't let her students breathe in her classes.

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