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Once upon a time, a train carrying a band of freedom fighters pulled into a station. And this led to a Super Soldier and his True Companions beginning an epic crusade against a worldwide Mega-Corp, culminating in a battle against a One-Winged Angel to prevent the very extinction of mankind.

This is not that story. But it's a story about that story.

Final Fantasy VII: The Sevening is an exaggerated, manga-styled Affectionate Parody of the landmark PlayStation RPG, Final Fantasy VII. Pages 1-252 are serialized on Smack Jeeves by Decalyn and ObstinateMelon. It pokes fun at everything from plot holes to the game's questionable translation.

The entirety of the collection can be also found on ObstinateMelon's DeviantArt page. Used to be on hiatus since June of 2015, but the author announced his return March 24th 2018.

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Contains examples of:

  • Abhorrent Admirer: While not being ugly or rude, Priscilla's statement that she was supposed to give Shiva to the person she wants to marry when she grows up freaks Cloud out a little as she is a prepubescent girl. In fact, Cloud is very adamant about reminding people that Yuffie is only 16 and is disgusted by Japan when he learns that she can be one of his dates. This is also one of the major reasons that he tends to ignore most of her attempts to impress him.
  • Adaptational Wimp:
    • The heroes are practically weak without materia. They can fight normal enemies, but one attack from a thunderbird and everyone dies.
    • The buggy, in the original game, is faster than walking and can cross rivers of Amazon widths. Here, it's The Alleged Car; slow as molasses and fraught with engineering issues. So useless is it that Cloud thinks nothing of just giving it away.
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    • Pretty much every boss qualifies too. Only a small handful of bosses have survived the first attack against them, and NONE have lived through two attacks.
  • Adaptational Villainy:
    • Cloud is more of a Jerkass than his canon counterpart and bullies or belittles several people during the course of the comic. For instance, at some point, he steals the Ramuh materia belonging to two Chocobo jokeys while making a height joke. Then he causes their deaths during the race without a hint of remorse.
    • Cid isn't exactly portrayed in a positive light, what with his treatment of Shera.
  • Affably Evil/Punch-Clock Villain: Most of the Random Encounter monsters. Also Shinra's guards.
  • Affectionate Parody: It's clear that the artist absolutely loves the game.
  • All Animals Are Dogs: Red XIII self-identifies as a dog, although there's enough cat for cat jokes to happen too.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: At one point, Aeris admits she's only attracted to assholes.
  • All Women Are Lustful: The women aren't subtle at all about wanting to get their hands on Cloud's Buster Sword and even Yuffie tries to get some smoochies at one point.
  • Alt Text: Only on the first few pages, then they're replaced by real text and are absent completely from the DeviantArt page.
  • Ambiguously Bi:
  • Angrish: On Page 355, while chasing Yuffie through the streets of Wutai.
    Cloud: Aaaarrg gaaraara rafslkdaash'afjs'p!
    Tifa: M-Maybe the rest of you should scout out the area before Cloud explodes.
  • As You Know: When Jessie shows Cloud a map of Midgar and explains the layout of the city, Cloud points that he lives in Midgar and knows the place perfectly well. Jessie then straight up admits that the explanation was purely for the benefit of the audience.
  • Ascended Extra:
    • Johnny, and - briefly - Zangan have more screentime than in the original game.
    • Storyline-wise, Honey Bee Inn went from an optional but infamous place to the place where Cloud got all of his cross-dressing equipment.
    • Joe, the champion Chocobo racer, is the main obstacle that Cloud has to overcome during his Chocobo race.
  • Aside Glance: Now and then the main characters will give the audience a Surrounded by Idiots look.
  • Ate His Gun: A Shinra soldier does this after Vincent gets done telling him his tragic backstory.
  • Atomic F-Bomb: Cloud drops one when he realized he could have taken the elevator instead of all the stairs.
  • Ax-Crazy: Dyne wants to hunt down and kill his own daughter, under the justification that he'll be reuniting her with his deceased wife.
  • Beach Episode: Lampshaded when the party visit Costa Del Sol.
    Cloud: Every crappy Anime show has a beach or hot spring episode dedicated to the sole purpose of shameless and blatant sexploitation. I demand that my party be dressed as ridiculous as I am!
  • Beautiful All Along: Averted by Aeris, if Cloud's reaction (or lack thereof) is any indication.
  • Big Eater: Wedge is seen eating in most of his appearances. When asked to guard an exit, he sets up a table next to it, and starts eating a pie. He's inexplicably eating fried chicken on the train. He's even clutching a pizza when he falls off the Sector 7 support pillar.
  • Big "NEVER!": Cloud shouts it a few times, like when he photo bombs a picture because he will not be left out of it.
  • Blatant Lies: Cloud's story about Sephiroth to Vincent:
    Vincent: So let me get this straight. Sephiroth came here, lost his mind after reading trashy novels, started taking lives then... you arrived riding a white tiger and thwarted his plan by throwing a flaming javelin through his heart, and you also had sexual relations with this woman standing to your leftnote  6 times afterward?
  • "Blind Idiot" Translation: The game's tendency to frequently slip up in its translation is referenced every now and then. Aeris's "This guy are sick" line is left intact, coupled with the derpiest expression imaginable.
  • Blunt "Yes": Cloud sometimes doesn't have time for anyone's crap.
    Cait Sith: You got me! I'm a Shinra spy. But what are you going to do, kill me?
    Could: [doesn't hesitate for a second to put his hands around Cait Sith's throat] Yes!
  • Bloodier and Gorier: Surprisingly this. Limbs severing and decapitations are common here. Even a graphic disembowelment is showed (although plenty of gory scenes are Played for Laughs).
  • Berserk Button: President Shinra flips out when Barret spits on him.
  • Brick Joke/Chekhov's Gun:
    • Jessie's ID card.
    • Also, Cloud sending Yuffie flying during the battle with Bottomswell.
    • Cloud seriously regrets throwing away all of the GP he'd saved up when he gets to the Gold Saucer.
    • Suicide is against the law, as Cloud found out.
  • Butt-Monkey: Yuffie. It is established already in her introduction comic, where Cloud casually and unashamedly kills her in a quite humiliating way, prompting Aeris to revive her, despite Cloud asking her not to. And things doesn't exactly improve from her from there on out; Cloud sees her attempts at stealing their Materia coming from miles away, and refuses to take her seriously, treating her as a nuisance at best and with open disdain and hostility at worst, and then there is her tendency to suffer from nausea and getting injured.
  • Calling Your Attacks: Characters usually announce their limit breaks and summons. And, of course, Sephiroth informs Cloud offhandedly that he's about to use Materia as Abnormal Ammo.
  • The Cameo: Jeez. Bomberman, Bomb Man, Sonic the Hedgehog, Firion, Bartz, Ultros, Frog and Johnny, Solid Snake, Lightning, Mario, Edgar and Sazh just to start with. Cameos are less common in later strips, which makes them all the more hilarious when they do pop up.
  • Captain Obvious: After Yuffie traps everyone but Cloud in a cage in Wutai, Aeris informs Cloud that she and the rest of the group might be trapped.
  • Catfight:
  • Changing Clothes Is a Free Action: "Impossibly-quick-wardrobe-change!"
  • Chick Magnet: Oh, Cloud. Despite being an idiot and an asshole (or maybe because he is both), he's attracted the attentions of Tifa, Aeris, Yuffie, Jessie, Ester, and Priscilla.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: Cloud. Oh Cloud.
  • Chocolate Baby: One of the kids Mog and Mogrita have is yellow, unlike the other white ones.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Aeris. It is at least given some explanation due to her growing up entirely in Midgar; a lot of the things the party sees are new to her.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Cait Sith correctly predicts the future and gives Cloud a fortune cookie that says Aerith Dies.
    Cloud: OH MY GOD! Who the hell is Aerith?
  • The Comically Serious:
  • Cut Lex Luthor a Check: The comic gleefully lampshades how Shinra's decision to crush Sector 7 is a pretty Stupid Evil move from a villain who supposedly values profit above anything else:
    President Shinra: Mwa ha ha ha, this is a financial nightmare.
    Heidegger: I know, way worth all the millions of Gils in repairs and loss of income from the now deceased tax payers, gya ha ha.
  • Cuteness Proximity: Tifa veers towards this, letting Cait Sith remain on the team just because he's adorable.
  • Deadly Euphemism: Dyne goes into creepy villain territory.
    Dyne: Eleanor is all alone right now. I have to bring her daughter to her. [puts on Slasher Smile] Marlene wants to see her mom, doesn't she?
  • Death Glare: Sephiroth literally does one in Cloud's flashback. It makes a dragon's head explode. The dragon gets better.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "IT'S HELLFIRE... IN THE NAME OF HELL!"
  • Destruction Equals Off-Switch/Cutting the Knot: One strip has Cloud stab a control console to make a door open. In the game, one has to complete an irritating puzzle to open said door.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: At the Train Graveyard, Tifa fights off Doomtrain by performing a full suplex on it. Cloud and Aeris are utterly awestruck by the sight (and in the former's case, aroused).
    Aeris: Did you just suplex a TRAIN?!
  • Discredited Meme: Done twice In-Universe so far, for "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" and "You Shall Not Pass!". In both cases, Cloud forbids the use of the line.
  • Disney Death: On Page 417, a badly wounded Tseng complains "Stop talking...like I'm dead. I still have *HRK*...other spin-offs to appear in!" after literally coughing up his heart. This is a reference to the fact that Tseng seemingly died offscreen after being wounded by Sephiroth (or crushed by the Temple of the Ancients compacting into the Black Materia), but was shown to be alive and well in The Compilation.
  • Disney Villain Death: Don Corneo suffers this fate after Rude shoots him with a spitball.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Cloud shakes and berates Rinoa for giving Tifa a less revealing outfit (namely what Tifa wore in Advent Children):
  • The Ditz: Aeris. The artist had to justify a line like "This guy are sick!" somehow, and the result is consistently entertaining.
  • Don't Explain the Joke: Missingno, you don't need to tell us why you would consider Lost Number a brother.
  • Doomed by Canon: Aeris is, of course, going to die. Like nearly everything else, this is Played for Laughs.
  • Driven to Suicide: Vincent kills a Shinra soldier by weaponizing his wangsty backstory.
    Vincent: You look like someone that wants to hear about my tragic past.
  • Drowning Their Sorrows: Reno is doing this in Wutai while lamenting his Villain Decay.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Cloud also attracts a lot of male attention, from a the guys at the Honey Bee, to a random Sargent who insisted on watching him change, to Don Cornero (he was Dragged into Drag at this point), and even Barret.
  • Fanservice Pack: Jessie. At one point, she uses a (censored) picture of her naked to try to seduce Cloud.
  • Fan Disservice: Hojo in a swim trunk in Costa del Sol. Tifa and Aeris even cast blind on themselves.
  • Fandom: Reno has a pretty... enthusiastic one.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Sephiroth, for some reason, acted extremely polite with Tifa in the Nibelheim flashback after he burned it but proceeds to slash her for calling Jenova a whore.
  • Flynning: Two guys swordfighting on motorcycles isn't quite as awe-inspiring as you'd think.
  • French Jerk: Joe, the champion Chocobo racer, has a French accent and a condescending attitude.
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: Subverted. Cloud is reluctant to join forces with the Turks because they destroyed Sector 7, killing Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Barret, on the other hand, had forgotten who they were until Cloud reminded him and thought their names were Jessie, James, and Meowth.
    • What makes this doubly egregious (and therefore hilarious), is that when Barret "guesses" their names, the panel shows their actual names visibly tattooed on his arm.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • The comic makes some very unsubtle references to Aeris' upcoming demise.
    • There is also plenty to the fact that the Meager Troop is the real Cloud, such as him having the same build and facial structure as Cloud, wears a shoulder-pad on his left shoulder (as opposed to Zack!Cloud who wears one on both shoulders), and a strangely close relationship with Tifa.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: The rest of the party cannot stand Cait Sith. According to Cloud, "It's not really part of the party; we just can't figure out how to kill it."
  • Funny Background Event: On occasion. On page 304, for instance, one panel has Cloud and Tifa talking to Zangan, while in the background, Barret is shooting at some birds, Yuffie is stealing the buggy's wheels (yet it still drives off at the end of the comic somehow) and Aeris and Cait Sith are putting flowers in Red XIII's fur.
  • Gamer Chick: Yuffie is an expert at Street Fighter. At the Gold Saucer, she refers to herself as the Game Queen, cosplays as Sakura and has an army of adoring subjects.
  • GASP!: Whenever it's comically dramatic. It's sometimes implied that they're not actually gasping: they're saying 'Gasp!'
  • Genki Girl: Aeris, surprisingly enough.
  • Gilligan Cut: Cloud plays Yuffie in Street fighter.
  • Giving Up on Logic: Cloud keeps falling into the strategic error of trying to understand the universe he's stuck in. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen. He finally does this at the end of Page 169.
  • Go-Go Enslavement: Aeris thinks this happened to Tifa, but it's just her usual clothes.
    Aeris: What" that's worse than what you WERE wearing!
  • Gory Discretion Shot:
    • Poor Wedge... But he lives! ... well, until everyone in the sector gets crushed.
    • Biggs gets one when he blows himself up with a grenade to take out several troops in pursuit of the heroes.
  • Groin Attack: First Rufus and later Sephiroth do this to Cloud.
    Sephiroth: After I throw Destruct at your balls, head north past Mt. Nibel, if you’re interested. I could use your help with the Reunion at best and, at worst, you may bear witness to Mother’s glorious revival.
    Cloud: Wha?
    Sephiroth: You heard me! [beans Cloud in the junk] Sephiroth Missile, away! [flies off]
    Cloud: [on the ground, writhing in pain] DUDE! What is it with with villains and their obsession with my balls in this comic?!
  • He Knows About Timed Hits: Barret tells Cloud to run by pressing the "X" button. Cloud asks him what the hell he is talking about.
  • Hello, Nurse!:
    • Unlike the original game, people tend to notice that Tifa is unusually buxom and Stripperiffic. Actually lampshaded by Cloud at one point:
      Cloud: Holy Fanservice, Tifa! What are you wearing?!
      Tifa: You don't like it? But business has nearly doubled!
    • This gets a callback in the Nibelhim flashback, when she shows up wearing the cowgirl outfit.
  • Hotter and Sexier: Everybody looks cuter and sexier than the original game. Jessie in particular got this response from the readers and at least once in-comic (although Don Corneo looks more disgusting than ever).
  • Hypocritical Humor: Yuffie, the former Trope Namer for Wutai Theft, complains about an area filled with enemies who steal.
  • Idiot Hero: Cloud. It'd be more accurate to say he's an idiot with occasional heroic tendencies.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: Yuffie's Steal/Steel pun from the Wutai event is naturally referenced. Her and Cloud's reactions to the line are predictable.
    Yuffie: (=[stares at the Game Script in disbelief] Man, what the fuck did I just say?
    Cloud: I was cool with everything up until now, but you're going to pay for that terrible joke! Get back here!
  • Improbable Weapon User: Tifa tries to kill Palmer with a dolphin.
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag:
    • Don Corneo's doorman doesn't buy Cloud's "Cloudia" disguise for a second.
      Corneo Lackey: [completely deadpan] Sir, you are obviously a man in a dress. Please leave.
    • Don Corneo himself is completely fooled by it though. But that is because he is very firmly in denial about his sexuality.
  • Innocent Fanservice Girl: Having lived all her life in the slums, Aeris doesn't know how beaches work, and when she sees everyone undressing into their swimsuits, she undresses into... nothing.
  • Insane Troll Logic:
    • Sephiroth claims that he has the power of the Ancients, and thus has the moral right to Take Over the World. Aeris thinks that since he's not a real Ancient, and she is, it's her responsibility to take over the world before Sephiroth does. She abandons this train of thought when Cloud tells her it's a terrible idea.
    • After Cloud receives a Groin Attack from Sephiroth, he asks why all the villains are so obsessed with his junk. Aeris, being physically attracted to Cloud, suggests to Tifa (also attracted to Cloud) that they should become villains.
    • Sephiroth's descent into insanity is treated as this.
  • Insistent Terminology: It's Aeris, not Aerith, as Melon thinks the latter sounds dumb.
  • It Amused Me: Why Rufus travels all the way to Cid's house and demands he hands over the Tiny Bronco, even when he has other means of getting about.
  • It's All About Me: Cloud sometimes gets this attitude. Efforts to curtail his ego seem doomed to failure:
    Sephiroth: The world doesn't revolve around you.
    Cloud: Actually, it does. I'm the main character.
    Sephiroth: Oh. Then shut up, you're annoying.
  • Knight of Cerebus: For an affectionate parody and comedy rendition of the story, the author managed to make Dyne WAY creepier.
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Cloud runs into President Shinra in the Honey Inn, as he is dressed as a king and talking to two girls about needing their help to "polish the royal scepter". He notices Cloud and, after a moment of awkward silence between them, he tells Cloud that he won't tell anyone he has seen him here if he is willing to do the same. Cloud agrees to it.
  • Lampshaded the Obscure Reference: Cloud makes a reference to Lunar, and is annoyed when no one else gets it.
  • Let's Split Up, Gang:
    • Now provides the trope picture.
      Red XIII: Lol k bye!
    • On the other hand, defied when the group leaves Kalm and Barret tries to enforce the Arbitrary Headcount Limit. Tifa stops him, since it makes no real sense to do so.
  • Marty Stu: In-Universe Cloud accuses Vincent Valentine of being one.
  • Medium Awareness: Most of the main characters are aware that they're in a game. Cloud is even aware that he's in a webcomic about a game.
    Barret: [turning to Cloud] I'm gonna do my thing where I turn to you and say somethin' comical about this game bein' stupid.
    Cloud: [sympathetically] 'Kay.
  • Memetic Badass: Sephiroth is an in-universe one. Everybody agrees he's pretty awesome - especially Sephiroth.
  • Moment Killer: Cloud manages this quite a few times in his interactions with Tifa.
    • As he suggests that the two of them should just talk alone a bit:
      Tifa: Really? You want to talk, just the two of us? I, well, I would love to!
      Cloud: Of course I want to talk to you, the voices in my head told me to.
      Tifa: ...Oh.
    • As the two of them share a romantic moment in the gondola, so Tifa decides that now would be a good moment to confess to Cloud that she loves him, but despite repeatedly attempting she still Cannot Spit It Out. Cloud, however, tells her he understand what she is trying to say and he will say it as romantically as possible. The result, well, speaks for itself:
      Cloud: Tifa.
      Tifa: Yes?
      Cloud: I want to make sex-time to your face.
      Tifa: Y... you what?
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Cid declares that the launching of his rocket will be 'the safest rocket launch ever!'
    Rocket Crew: Fuck yeah, SAFETY!
  • Mundane Utility: Whenever Cloud remembers that he can use magic outside of battle.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: When Yuffie is fighting her father, Cloud suggests she think outside the box and take advantage of the fact that she should know her father's weaknesses better than anybody. She then invokes this trope and pours some poison on him.
    Yuffie: Clever, right? I knew my dad would be weak to murder.
  • Mythology Gag: There's a really subtle gag about the first Kingdom Hearts game in #356, when Cloud briefly mistakes Rikku for Yuffie. In the original plans for Traverse Town in that game, it was going to be Rikku helping Cloud there, not Yuffie as in the final version.
  • Narcissist: Cloud. He keeps mentioning how handsome he is, sometimes pauses to admire himself in a hand mirror, and he once referred to his mirror-image hallucination as a "handsome devil" though he defies Self Cest.
  • Never My Fault: When it's revealed that the plan to drop Sector Seven was mostly a failure, President Shinra blames Reeve for coming up with it.
  • Nightmare Face: Yuffie makes one in Page 159.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Vincent is outright turned on when Odin speaks about how he will slay his foes.
  • No Fourth Wall:
  • "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: "Actual (adjective) (character) quote of the day!"
  • No Yay: In-Universe. When Yuffie points out that of all the possible candidates for the Golden Saucer date, she is the only one that actually kisses Could during said date, Could responds that he finds the idea offensive, likely referring to the fact that Yuffie is canonically a teenager.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Given how quickly Cait Sith shows himself to be good at taking hostages and blackmailing Cloud into keeping him in the group without revealing that he's a spy, it's possible that his previous obnoxious acronyms-spewing personality was simply an act.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: The battle against Don Corneo's pet Rancor. We don't get to see it, but the characters assure us that it was indeed awesome.
  • Only Sane Man: While none of them seem to be able to keep hold of the Sanity Ball for very long, some manage to keep it longer than others.
  • Overly Long Gag: Everything about Sephiroth's jib. It even carries into the author's comments.
  • Pie in the Face: One particularity silly sequence prompts Barret to ask the gang if they are done with all the unnecessary slapstick yet. Cait Sith replies "NOT ON MY WATCH!" and throws a pie in his face.
  • Papa Wolf/Instant Expert: Barret sics Ifrit on Dyne after he threatens to kill Marlene, even though he'd never used Materia before and didn't know how.
  • Plot-Based Photograph Obfuscation: When Cloud meets Zack's parents in Gongaga, Mrs Fair shows him a happy family portrait with a young Zack conveniently censored by a simple question mark point on his face.
  • Plot Twist: Yuffie complains that it's "going to be one of those plot twist games".
  • Recurring Traveller: Somehow, Johnny is always one step ahead of the party.
  • Remembered Too Late: Joe doesn't remember until after Cloud has won the Chocobo race that he could have flown over all the pits instead of following the track.
  • Reference Overdosed: Plenty of shout outs, both to other Final Fantasy games and unrelated works.
  • Remove The Rival: Tifa has a brief moment during the second visit at the Gold Saucer, as it is revealed here that the reason why Aeris didn't show up for the date with Cloud was because Tifa put her to sleep with chloroform and tied her up.
  • Revive Kills Zombie: Cloud beats a few monsters with Phoenix Down, but also tries it on Vincent, since he did pop out of a coffin.
  • Road Trip Plot: Page 271 has everyone pile into The Buggy and do stereotypical road trip things like suggest travel games, ask "are we there yet?" incessantly, sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall", and get carsick.
  • Rule of Cool: Barret asks why Cloud just hopped on a motorcycle when they were trying to escape, and Cloud just responds "Because it's radical".
  • Rule of Cute: Tifa doesn't mind Cait Sith that much because "HE'S SUCH A CUTE KITTY!".
  • Running Gag:
    • Cait Sith keeps getting destroyed.
    • Yuffie puking.
    • Thaaaat's Reno!
    • Cloud bursting into rooms while screaming a one liner.
    • The party getting most of their plot-advancing exposition from old men.
    • The various Lame Pun Reactions.
    • Newly introduced characters sometimes get a point-of-view panel just to underline how weird the Avalanche gang really are.
    • Cloud mispronouncing Rufus' name.
    • And, of course, the characters pulling out a script clearly labelled 'GAME SCRIPT' and reacting to its contents with horror.
      Cloud: [to the script] You monster!
  • Scene Transition: This trope actually appears as a character in the comic. He acts as a narrator and aids the gang in shifting scenes. He doesn't seem to get along well with the other characters.
  • The Scrappy: The comic fully acknowledges Cait Sith's reputation as one in the original game, and as result he is treated like this In-Universe, with pretty much every other character either full-on hating his guts (especially Could) or just barely tolerating his presence at best. Before a character's name is revealed, their dialogue boxes use (usually comical) descriptors instead. Cait Sith's include "Random Pointless Character", "Annoying Pointless Character", "Harbinger of Misfortune", and "God's Mistake". To quote Cloud:
    Cloud: It's not really part of the party; we just can't figure out how to kill it.
  • Shame If Something Happened: During a flashback, Tseng tries to break a vase while using this trope. As the vase is plastic, it holds up.
  • Ship Tease: Cloud and Tifa get a lot of this. Aeris and Cloud have some moments too, but they're played for pathos since both characters have 'read the script'.
  • Shout-Out: There's eight in the second page! Solid Snake, Captain Falcon, G.I. Jane, Mr. T, Pop n' Fresh aka the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Wedge and Biggs (started from Star Wars and Final Fantasy IV onwards), Bubba, and rebel scum.
  • Spell My Name with an "S": A constant source of jokes, and not just with Aeris/Aerith. Butz/Bartz also makes a cameo appearance.
  • Spit Take: Happens to Cloud in Gongaga, when a random encounter interrupts him siphoning a fuel tank.
  • Spock Speak: Red XIII is quite bizarrely-eloquent for a talking dog.
  • Spoofed with Their Own Words: Melon loves using the bad translations to spoof the game.
  • Spot of Tea: Yuffie, for one panel while the group is in Cid's house.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: As though Cid wasn't sexist enough, he's shocked that Aeris and Tifa are in the party instead of the kitchen.
  • Straight Gay: Don Cornelo picks "Cloudia" out of the lineup, of course... Hilarity Ensues.
    Don Corneo: Last night I was worried that I might be gay, but you are possibly the hottest girl I have ever laid my eyes on.
  • Suplex Starter And Finisher: On a demonic train, no less.
  • Symbol Swearing: For some reason Cid does this, while Barret can turn the air blue as he likes.
  • Take That!:
    • Whenever Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children comes up:
      Cloud: Oh god, is that my horrible vision incarnate!?
    • The whole compilation in general. For example, Genesis was drawn in the derpiest way possible and shooed off by both Sephiroth and Cloud.
      Genesis: HEY GUISE, CAN WE RETROACTIVELY PRETEND I WAS IN THIS SCENE? I CAN EXPLAINS.
      Cloud: No.
    • It's implied (and later confirmed by Cloud) that Sephiroth went insane because he read Twilight.
  • Taking You with Me: Played for dark laughs by Biggs here.
  • There Is Only One Bed: Spoken word for word by Tifa, in regards to her and Cloud's prison cell having only one bed.
  • They Killed Cait Sith: Luckily for Cait Sith, he's a robot and new models replace the destroyed ones. Lampshaded on at least one occasion:
    Cait Sith: Do you know how long it took to ship another one of me out to the middle of the desert!?
  • This Is Something He's Got to Do Himself: Cloud fighting Rufus and Barret fighting Dyne. The latter is even lampshaded by Tifa, but Cloud cuts her off.
  • Thousand-Yard Stare: Played for laughs and lampshaded in Page 189.
  • Town Girls: Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie.
  • Touché: Cloud admits Cait Sith has some usefulness after he uses his Limit Break to summon a Cat Girl in a Fur Bikini.
    Cloud: Well played, talkin cat robot.
  • Transparent Closet: He doesn't deny it, but the officer who orders Cloud around doesn't confirm it.
    Cloud: ...By the way, watching me the whole time while getting undressed? Really creepy, dude.
    Officer: Nonsense, it was completely necessary.
  • Unexplained Recovery: At one point, Heidegger's head is blown up by a bomb. The next time we see it, he's fine, with only a few bandages on it.
  • Unfortunate Implications: Cloud notes In-Universe that the rest of the minorities in the game are in prison.
  • Unwanted Harem: This comic makes Tifa and Aeris explicitly this to Cloud.
  • Use Your Head "AERIS CHARGE!"
  • Victoria's Secret Compartment: Parodied on Page 356. While the party is searching for Yuffie in Wutai, Aeris tries looking in Tifa's cleavage.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Discussed, after mocking Barret's command decisions for most of the comic so far:
    Cloud: Hey! Stop harassing my freaky-techno-buddy! (punches Loitering Lou in the face)
    Tifa: Wow, did you just act out of character for Barret?
    Cloud: Of course. I'm the only one allowed to push him around.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Lampshaded. Cloud wonders if "this comic is going to stop puking everywhere".
  • Webcomic of the Game: Of Final Fantasy VII.
  • What Were You Thinking?: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
  • Who Writes This Crap?!: Characters are often seen reading and commenting on the game script. Yuffie currently provides the picture.
    Cloud: Aeris, that's a terrible idea. He killed all those innocent people, why would we— wait, Tifa?! YOU said that?
    Tifa: I'm sorry, [holds up the Game Script] it's just... I didn't... the script!
    • It gets to the point where Cloud tries punishing Vincent for not revealing his past by having his teammates quote actual game dialogue.
  • Why Don't You Marry It?: Red XIII in response to Cloud talking about how strong Sephiroth is.
  • Widow Woman: Cloud's mother.
  • Wimp Fight: The aforementioned Tifa/Aeris Catfight. Made funnier when you remember Tifa is an expert Martial Artist.
  • Wingding Eyes: Usually the girls get heart eyes around Cloud, but Ester gets star eyes after Cloud tells her some of the badass stuff he's done.
  • Yandere: Tifa has a brief downplayed non-murderous moment that proves that she can be possessive when it comes to Cloud. To be sure that Aeris doesn't disturb her date with him at the Gold Saucer, she puts her to sleep with chloroform and ties her up on her bed.
  • You Need to Get Laid: Cloud says that about a 5 year old girl, but she really was an obnoxious know-it-all to him.
  • You Can Talk?: Cloud to Red XIII, on Page 90.
    Cloud: ...THIS DOG IS FUCKING TALKING!
  • Your Head Asplode: Happens to Heidigger, courtesy of a bomb planned for Cloud. He quickly recovers.
  • Your Mom: Cloud says that Reno looks kind of silly searching for the kidnapped Yuffie and Elena in the mouth of a Wutai statue. Reno's response?
    Reno: Your mom looks kind of silly searching in here.
    Cloud: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
  • Your Terrorists Are Our Freedom Fighters: Given what it's based on, this is a given. The population considers AVALANCHE terrorists, although Jessie admits that the explosion wasn't supposed to be this big.

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