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Improbable Weapon User

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Don't ask Jax for a light.

"Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be."
Cheshire Cat, American McGee's Alice
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The high probability your wackiest party member (like the Team Pet) will use some sort of bizarre and, well, improbable "weapon" — that is, in the sense of an object you could conceivably hit something with. And some of these "weapons" don't even go that far.

Many games also have a gag weapon for each of the party members, which is essentially an Improbable or Nerf Arm version of their regular weapon, like the following: a fan, a wooden sword for the sword-wielder, a broom for the White Magician Girl, or a squeaky-mallet for someone who normally wields an axe or hammer. Of course, this might end up subverted with an Infinity Plus One slingshot which fires dangerous marshmallows. Sometimes they may be Stat Sticks instead, things that are "equipped" as a "weapon" to give the user the stats but aren't actually used for attacking. Compare The Man Makes the Weapon for when someone deliberately use a gag substitute of a real weapon to showcase his skill.

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This trope surprisingly isn't that far from reality and may be one of the stranger examples of Truth in Television. Martial arts weapons have included not just spears, swords, and knives, but farming tools, boat oars (see also Miyamoto Musashi), fans, metal rings (no, not even chakram, just round metal rings), and... small wooden benches? Hell, this doesn't even go into the military trench shovelnote .

Subtropes include the following:

  • Anchors Away: When the Improbable Weapon is an anchor.
  • Art Attacker: When the Improbable Weapon is art (of the non-martial kind).
  • Battle Tops: When the Improbable Weapon is a spinning top.
  • Chairman of the Brawl: When the Improbable Weapon is a small piece of furniture.
  • Cloth Fu: When the Improbable Weapon is a piece of cloth, a blanket, or the like.
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  • Clothing Combat: When the Improbable Weapon is clothing.
  • Combat Cue Stick: When the weapon is a billiard stick.
  • Combat Hand Fan: When the Improbable Weapon is a hand fan.
  • Cross Attack: When the Improbable Weapon is a cross.
  • Deadly Doctor: When the Improbable Weapon User is a medical doctor who repurposes medical instruments for combat.
  • Deadly Ringer: When the Improbable Weapon is a bell.
  • Death Dealer: When the Improbable Weapon is a card (or a whole deck of cards).
  • Edible Bludgeon: When the Improbable Weapon is a solid mass of (often frozen) food.
  • Frying Pan of Doom: When the Improbable Weapon is a frying pan or a similar cookware piece.
  • Golf Clubbing: When the Improbable Weapon is a golf club.
  • I Know Madden Kombat: When the Improbable Weapon is a sport implement (for a non-combat sport, that is).
  • Killer Yoyo: When the Improbable Weapon is a yo-yo.
  • Knows the Ropes: When the Improbable Weapon is a piece of rope.
  • Money Mauling: When the Improbable Weapon is money.
  • My Little Panzer: When the Improbable Weapon is a toy gun, remote control vehicle, or other such toy.
  • Parasol of Pain: When the Improbable Weapon is an umbrella.
  • Rod And Reel Repurposed: When the Improbable Weapon is a fishing rod.
  • Rolling Pin of Doom: When the Improbable Weapon is a rolling pin.
  • Shear Menace: When the Improbable Weapon is a pair of scissors, grass shears, and other similar cutting devices.
  • Shovel Strike: When the Improbable Weapon is a shovel, trowel, or some other digging tool of similar design.
  • Throw the Book at Them: When the Improbable Weapon is a book.
  • Trophy Violence: When the Improbable Weapon is a trophy or an award.
  • 2xFore: When the Improbable Weapon is a wooden plank or any sort of lumber.
  • Utility Weapon: When the Improbable Weapon is a video-game tool that can be used outside of combat.
  • Water Guns and Balloons: When the Improbable Weapon is a water gun or water-filled balloonnote .
  • Weaponized Ball: When the weapon is a ball of any kind (not including regular ammo, duh).
  • Weaponized Headgear: When the Improbable Weapon is a legitimate form of headgear.
  • Wrench Whack: When the Improbable Weapon is a wrench. Any size can apply.

For one-time examples, see Improvised Weapon. If someone manages to pull this off with an actual weapon, see Improbable Use of a Weapon. Compare Abnormal Ammo for improbable things you could throw/launch at an enemy. And Impossibly Cool Weapon for actual weapons with impossible (and cool) properties.

See also Improv Fu, This Banana is Armed, Shoe Phone, Nerf Arm, Happy Fun Ball, Grievous Harm with a Body, Musical Assassin (killing with music), Martial Arts and Crafts, Once Killed a Man with a Noodle Implement, Joke Item, and Lethal Joke Item.


Example subpages:

Other examples:

    open/close all folders 
    Asian Animation 
  • Ever thought of using a toilet plunger as a Magic Wand? Well, in Happy Heroes, Huo Haha does just that and puts it to surprisingly competent use. He also flies on it like a Flying Broomstick in a couple of episodes.

    Manwha & Manhua 
  • Infinity Game:
    • Meibo uses chalk, a lot, as a throwable weapon and apparently carries boxes of the stuff around with her. She's strong enough with it to break down Long Wei's door.
    • The team defeat a monster by hitting its weak spot with a Ronald McDonald statue.
  • In the second chapter of Love Aquarium Gugu throws a hamster (because it was in his co-worker's pocket) at a man with a bloody knife, threatening the main character for sneaking into an off-limit zone. The man faints from a hamster to the face.

    Music 
  • "Every Dog Has Its Day" by Flogging Molly contains the line, "That night on the bridge, with my shovel in hand / Well he threatened to kill me; for sure he picked the wrong man." Of course, a shovel probably only seems like an improbable weapon until someone beats you with it.
  • Evillious Chronicles: In "Tailor Shop on Enbizaka]]", Kayo Sudou kills four people with tailoring scissors. Admittedly, they were an Artifact of Doom, though...
  • The Ambiguously Human main character of Tom Waits' song "Black Wings", we are told, "once killed a man with a guitar string". We are given no further details on this incident.

    Podcasts 
  • Yoshi from the Cool Kids Table game Here We Gooooo! wields a shell, though this isn't very improbable in the context of the Mario universe.

 
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Alternative Title(s): Improbable Weapon, Unusual Weapon User

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Dolphin Blaster

A soldier forgoes his garden-variety equipment for some rather unconventional arms.

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4.8 (5 votes)

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