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Fanfic / Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami

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The characters from the series... kind of.

"Some guy told me that im on Tv Tropes now which is like a wikipedia but for tv or something! THIS A FAMOUS STORY BUT I WONT LET IT GOT TO MY HEAD EVEN IF IM AWSEOM! Im not on tv but i guess death note is and thats why they licked it?"
The author, when he found out about us.
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Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami (apparently written completely unpunctuated) is a Death Note fanfic in the same way My Immortal is a Harry Potter fanfic. It's written by D'arkYagam'i, author of Pain Note The Ressurekshun of Ray Pember! and The God of Time With No Name Lights Real Name!.

It focuses on Dark Yagami, Light's twin brother who trained at Whammy House but is secretly Kira. At first. The story meanders to such an extent that any possible summary would be almost irrelevant by the third chapter, by which point Light's sister Sayu is "sexing" with Misa to steal her Death Note for her dad who has taken Watari's job because Dark told him to but is secretly working for L. Later he goes to prison then comes back and becomes King of the Shinigami before time-travelling to France to kill Near to stop a time paradox. So... yeah.

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While it is not renowned on the internet like other troll fics, It can be safely said that this fanfiction is on par with works such as the aforementioned My Immortal, DOOM: Repercussions of Evil, and Half-Life: Full Life Consequences.

Has four completed dramatic readings, by The Holy Cabbage(lots of MSTing), Lord Starfish (no MSTing except in annotations and the occasional snarky remark at the end of a chapter), Mutant Museum (formerly manwithoutabody), and a Spanish translated version by RanguGamer, as well as several unfinished ones, including ReteikiAndYuma, hanfern, OperationGoChan (acted out with action figures), Temascos (with snarky slideshows), and Pamachu Productions.Similar to the Death Note fanfiction 'Gofic Love Note'. The anime of which can be found here.

The author later wrote a crossover with The Hunger Games, called The Hunger Note Games, where Dark Yagami participates in the titular games.

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It has inspired three fan written sequels, Returning of D'ark, Light and Dark DEUX, SAD GOODBYES, and a Round Robin post game.

On the 25th October 2015, the author returned with a Halloween special named Darker Yagami - Dark Yagami gets Dark. On the 30th October 2016, he made another Halloween special named Keijo Note Dark Yagami and the Haunted Chest.


This fanfic contains examples of:

  • Abnormal Ammo: There are several firearms that fire not bullets, but objects that are significantly larger than the weapon that fired them. Near the end of the story, Light's Mom somehow baked a bread gun that fired rabbits.
  • Added Alliterative Appeal: "'BLOODY THANK YOU YOU BUMBLING BUGGER' he britished playing with his beardy thing."
  • All Just a Dream: The 78th (approximately) Hunger Games.
  • All There in the Manual: The author's twitter will occasionally update us on the state or whereabouts of characters, such as Ryuk dying in a car accident/poisoning, before being resurrected by Blud.
  • An Arm and a Leg: Late in the story, Soichiro and Watari end up fighting. Watari punches one of Soichiro's arms away, and the latter cuts one of Watari's arms. This happens twice, and it ends with Soichiro and Watari wondering how to keep fighting without arms.
  • Anti-Climax:
  • Anyone Can Die: Apparently the point of chapter 40. D'ark even gives us this handy death tally:
    DAWN killed by CYBERKATAKDA!
    TWILIGHT killed by HAL!
    SOICHIROS GOLDFISH killed by COOL DUDE PEEING IN THE TANK!
    CYBERTAKADA sexed to death by SAYU!
    SOICHIRO and WATARI killed by THEM
    SAMANTHER outsceinced by NIGHT!
    RAY killed by RUBBLE!
    NEAR killed by DAY!
    COOL DUDE killed by BLUD KING OF THE SHINIGAMI!
  • Apocalypse How: Class 6 by the end.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism
    • Surprisingly, lampshaded and averted.
    "Do ghosts exits?"
    "THEY DO NOT MY GOOD YOUNG FREND BECOS THAT SORT OF THING IS IMPOSABLE?"
    "But ur a shinigami aren’t you imposable too?"
    "NO COS THIS IS THE DEATH NOT WORLD WHERE SHINIGAMI ARE POSABLE"
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
    • In his evil base, Light has "computers and lasers and a nuclear and an xbox 360".
    "You killed my son and my daughter and you had sex with her in lights bed and you came in my house all naked and you DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE DINNER"
    [P]eople cried more until there was hurricanes and flooding and ducks everywhere stealing peopls' bread.
    "The sofa and the tv and soichiros favorite coffee table all got smashed to bits. Ray pember joined in the smashing and broke a book."
  • Artistic License – Biology
    • There is no way that Watari can be brought back to life from BULLET WOUNDS thanks to CPR (alone, that's all the "explanation" given) at least a month after being shot and killed. The human body does not work like that.
    • This might be a Shout-Out to Red vs. Blue.
    • Also, Dark apparently grows a mustache while changing his clothes.
    • If you fall twenty feet onto a barbecue that's lit, you won't be in any danger of catching on fire if you have an erection. Okay, that probably isn't what the author meant by "he was hard", but it's difficult to read it differently.
    • If you cut your hair, don't wear make up, and get a tattoo that says "IM A DUDE" you will look like a man. Even if you're a woman. And you're naked.
    • If your arms are injected with poison, you can "gargle all the poison out" and just spit it out.
  • Artistic License – Geography
    • First off, Wales (or, rather, "whales") is not a town in England as the author would have you believe.
    • Loch Ness (or Loch nes, as the author calls it,) doesn't adjoin it, either! And it's impossible to get the Tube there either.
    • How can a car chase through Paris end with someone flying over the river Thames which is in England?
    • Even better, Dark jumps down from the 'Eyfal' Tower and lands in the 'Tames'. It's either this trope or Dark has incredible jumping abilities.
    • Also, L and Watari take a taxi instead of their helicopter to go from Wales to the USA...
  • Artistic License – Geology: "The comet SMASHED into the sea and no one knew what it was cos it was like a new island so they called it AUSTRALIA"
  • Artistic License – History
    and a nuclear that L had stealed from the japan army.
  • Artistic License – Nuclear Physics
    • The amount of things wrong with this sentence is... stunning.
    They all hit a tanker and it was carring nuclears so when it went up it made a massive fireball that chased Near and Dark down the streets burning everything in its path.
    • Only exemplified by this sentence shortly afterward. One has to wonder if either the bomb was incredibly underpowered or Soichiro's car is made of some sort of indestructible material.
    "MY CAR!" lights dad scream looking at the scratch in the paint that the nuclear bom had made.
  • Artistic License – Physics
    • Near is not only capable of blocking a sniper's bullet with a shot of his way less powerful gun, but also of destroying the sniper's sight that was on top of the Eiffel Tower.
    • For some strange reason, when the boats of Dark and L ran out of fuel, they started to sink, contradicting the Archimedes' principle.
  • Awesome, but Impractical:
    • Night kills people by tattooing their names on her skin, which would take an incredibly long time - not to mention she'd have the names of her victims visible all the time. While it is described as an incredible power, as early as the next chapter, its flaws were made apparent in how Near was killed before her tattoo was finished.
    • Also the "father detector" used by Watari explodes when it gives back a result.
  • Ax-Crazy: Soichiro. In addition to swearing on a regular basis, in one scene he interrogates Mikami by holding a knife to his neck "like The Joker".
  • Back from the Dead: At this point, the question is not whether a character comes back from the dead, but whether he or she comes back completely alive or undead.
  • Badass Mustache: Soichiro's Porn Stache, which he "twisted like an evil guy". Not to mention how he regrows it in the span of a chapter because he's so manly.
  • Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Or in this case, William Shakespeare was a Kira. And King of England.
  • BFG
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed:
    • When he becomes a Shinigami the size of a bus, he gets a "man thingy" as big as a bus and twice as wide. This means that it comprises two thirds of his total body mass. Doesn't seem to affect his sex life, though.
    • And in the spinoff Pain Note The Ressurekshun of Ray Pember!, Blud is mentioned as having a penis the size of a SUBWAY TRAIN-
  • Big "NO!": L when Dark takes over the world, Watari after he loses his status as queen.
  • *Bleep*-dammit!: Constant use of the word "f-ck."
  • Blood Magic: Dark uses Near's blood to make the Anti-Life Note.
  • Boarding School of Horrors
    • Whammy House seems to be this in the epilogues. Watari stuffs Dark and Night into a box labelled "BORING STUFF DO NOT X-RAY" to take them on a plane.
    • Roger the caretaker is even worse:
      • "All he said was "I HATE CHILDREN" all the time and laughed like an evil man and didn't give them some more at meal times and did creepy things with his dog."
      • "GO TO BED YOU STINKING BRATS OR I WILL TURN YOUR ARSES INTO chicken tikka masala (its a britishy Indian food! Its red LIKE BLOOD. MAYBE IT IS BLOOD?) AND SERVE IT BACK TO YOU ON A PLATE MADE OF THE QUEENS HATS" roared roger.
  • Boobs of Steel: Samanther has "the biggest chests in the world," but held her own in a fight with Blud
  • Bottomless Magazines: Dark has a gun that holds 100,000 bullets. On the one hand, it's not breaking any established limits, but on the other, it's far too many for a real gun to have.
  • Brick Joke: In Chapter 7, we see Soichiro's car get the pain scratched from a nuke. In Chapter 34, when THE BIGGEST NUCLEAR IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD strikes, one of the effects is that Soichiro's car gets completely smashed.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: When Day is exiled to the attic, he is attacked by "ghosts and rats and ghost rats."
  • Bullet Time: "She pulled the gun and a bullet went out. Everything went all matrixy"
  • Butt-Monkey
    • Near. It's even invoked at one point.
    • Light slowly becomes one of these as well.
    • Naomi too.
  • Camp Gay: Light.
    That sounds laaaaaaaaameeeeeee!shrieked light balleting into the room. "You need to find a way to make something I need LIKE HAIR GEL"
  • Canon Character All Along: Two examples in the ending. Dark is actually the past version of Soichiro, who loses his memory and becomes his own father. Samanther, a girl from Watari House introduced in the final arc meanwhile is revealed to be both Light’s Mom and The Girl From The Bus.
  • Catchphrase: "(Event will happen) or my name isn't (Name!)". L in particular is fond of this phrase, and it even gets written on Death Notes a few times.
  • Cardboard Prison: Dark breaks out of prison quite easily with the help of his Royal Death Note.
  • Charles Atlas Superpower: Like much of the story's craziness, this trope is not evident in earlier chapters; however, nearly all of the primary and secondary characters perform ridiculously superhuman feats at some point or another. Examples include Light's Mom punching zombies' heads off, Ckira exploding a police car by throwing a knife at it, Watari shrugging off getting hit by a tank fired from Soichiro's police gun, and Dark punching Blud so hard that the shockwaves start to destroy the Shinigami world.
  • Chew Bubblegum: Imhere to sex up L and bake cup cakes and im all out of cupcakes which is why I need to bake them!
  • Christmas Episode: Chapter 40... isn't an example, but the author suggests the readers to imagine it as one anyways, such as having Watari dressed as a Christmas tree during all the action scenes.
  • Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: An endemic disease in the Light and Dark universe. Blud manages to quintuple-cross Dark, before Dark double-crosses him back.
  • Cluster F-Bomb
    • Soichiro does this more than once.
    Soichiro:: "YOU F-CKING F-CKED UP F-CKER WHO F-CKS F-CKS TELL ME WHERE THE F-CKING LIFE NOTE IS AND DON'T LIFE NOTE THAT F-CKING F-CK NIGHT YAGAMI BAK TO F-CKING LIVE OR ILL BREAK YOUR OTHER F-CKING BREADMAKER!"
    "WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! WHAT F-CKING F-CKED UP F-CKING F-CK F-CKING F-CKER OF A F-CKER F-CKING M-TH-RF-CKING F-CK F-CK F-CK F-CK DID YOU F-CKING MAKE MY DORTER PREGNANT?"
  • Continuity Snarl:
    • An impressive feat considering that this story is only 36 pages long and written by a single person. Nobody (including the author himself) has an idea of what's going on by the end of it - and the story just keeps on getting funnier because of this.
    • The ending just makes this infinitely worse.
  • Cool Car: The NASBUS, which "had a nuclear for an engine and another nuclear for the headlights which were so bright that it set the road on fire."
  • CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: And it heals bullet wounds.
  • Creator Provincialism: The very first line places Light Yagami as an American.
  • Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: "SHUT UP RUYK OR I WILL PUT A MAYPOLE INTO YOUR SKULL AND MAKE THE KIDDIES DANCE OVER YOUR FACE"
  • A Day In The Lime Light: Chapter 21, for Soichiro.
  • A Death in the Limelight: Matsuda only gets one chapter in which he's relevant, and he dies at the end of it.
  • Death Is Cheap: Characters constantly come back from the dead, either deliberately through the Life Note or by plain Negative Continuity.
  • Death by Sex: This is how Sayu manages to defeat Cybertakada. Through great sex. Once the intensity of the sex is too high, meaning it's 'more than 100% sexing' the person 'getting sexed' dies.
  • Demoted to Extra: Ryuk and Mikami.
  • Department of Redundancy Department
    • ""Why yes dear boy" answered dark coshing him over the head with a cosh."
    • Or how about the "paint that the janitor used to paint things with"?
    • "He was eating bananas like Ruyk ate apples but they were blood bananas made of blood."
      • "poison bananas made of poison"
      • "He kept the blood bananas in a special case because other people might eat them thinking they were not blood bananas and get a mouth full of blood banana and blood."
    • "I am Dark Yagami. You look sexyed. I am Dark Yagami."
    • Apparently, "Matsuda saw it".
    • "The nuclear bom went off like a bom"
    • "Suddenly he stopped suddenly.''
    • "There was some rules in the front but he figured how it worked anyway because he was a genius and worked it out."
    • "like when people die in romeo and julyt when they die"
    • Blud watched the action unfold from his sky bass in the sky
    • He grew like a mushroom in a mushroom farm
    • [...] THE CLONING MACHINE BUT BASICALLY IT'S A MACHINE THAT MAKES CLONES
    • A bunch of red lights went red
    • "The secret weapon is pretty damn secret."
    • Outside he saw a shadowy shadow shadowing away in the shadows.
    • ...who was slimy and smelly and smelled like slime.
    • "Blud looked at the royal death note that sat in his hands like an evil book sitting in his hands."
  • Deus Sex Machina: In Chapter 34, the Creepy Chick turns out to be able to time travel via "lots of sexing"
  • Did Not Do the Bloody Research: Most of what Watari says. "THAT FOOLISH WANKER DA’URQ IS IN NEW YORK AND HES KILLING SOME POOR SODS!"
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Dark is able to defeat Blud in hand to hand combat, right after Blud destroys the universe by just spitting.
  • Dissimile: A machine described as being like a time machine turns out to be a machine for going into people's dreams. What's the connection between the two?
  • Don't Explain the Joke
    • Many times, like when Sayu comes out of the closet to blackmail Misa into having sex with her, or Chapter 16's title "Good night Night ITS A PUN."
    • Every time Near is mentioned, something or someone is "near" him. The author feels the need to point this out explicitly.
    • Also used in chapter 3: "Once Misa was alone Sayu came out the closet (get it!? : P )."
  • Doomy Dooms of Doom:
    "So it could be anyone? We are doomed! Doooomed! Dooooooomed!" wailed Light like a baby who licked saying "doooooomed".
  • Dramatic Ellipsis: Extremely common, with many, many cases where the narration says “It was”, followed by a number of ellipses, the number often being a lot more than three, and sometimes there are multiple paragraphs of just the ellipses, before the reveal which is almost always in block capitals. In at least one instance, the reveal is followed with “Just kidding”, and then another “It was” with even more ellipses before the actual reveal.
  • Dramatic Wind: Chapter 16, to almost ridiculous levels
  • Dream Within a Dream: In The Hunger Games crossover, after getting stabbed and dying Near wakes up and realises it was All Just a Dream... then finds the knife is still in him. Then Dark wakes up for real.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him
    • Light, Dark, Blud, though they get better.
    • And the "Creepy Dude" who gets killed by a random asteroid in chapter 29. Though with how this story works, he came back not too long after... As Creepy ''Chick''
  • Dual Wielding: Night wields two swords in Chapter 16, and Dark wields three in a manner suspiciously simliar to Zoro's three-sword style.
  • Easily Forgiven: Dark's punishment for trying to destroy the world? He gets grounded.
  • Embarrassing Middle Name: Darkus Taylor Yagami and Light Melville Yagami.
  • Emphasize EVERYTHING: Most of the time, but especially when things are getting "epic" or "awsome".
  • Enemy Mine: Everyone In this fic will abruptly work with former enemies to defeat new ones. Probably the best example is Dark and Night working to kill L for a few chapters, only for Dark to ally with L's ghost to kill Night, only for L's ghost to work with Night instead to kill Dark!
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Dark, apparently.
    "Tell... my... mom... I... love... Her!" said dark before he died.
  • Everybody Laughs Ending: Right before an incestous sevensome (with only six peoeple in it...).
  • Everyone Calls Them Barkeep: Lights Mom, The Girl From The Bus, Creepy Dude, and The Lady From The Reception Desk. At no point in the story the characters call them in any other way (and for the latter's case, she even calls herself that way). The names of the former three are eventually revealed in the end or in the "epilog".
  • Everyone Is Related: Taken to astonishing heights by the final epilogue thanks to some gratuitous time travel. Turns out that Dark is his own father; Light is his brother and son, L is his nephew and half-brother because he's Light's son, and that's not even half of it.
  • Exotic Equipment: the extremely well-endowed Shinigami.
  • Extreme Omnivore: L.
    "She must be here somewhere gramps" L said eating the remote.
  • Fake Defector: Soichiro helps get Dark home and impersonates Watari, but reveals he's actually loyal to L.
  • False Camera Effects:
    "Sorry son!" Soichiro said and they hugged and the happy music came and the camera went fuzzy.
  • Fan Art: [1]
  • Fan Sequel: Light and Dark DEUX - The New Adventures of Dark Soichiro. (Spoiler-tagged due to the title giving away a plot-twist that occurs near the end of this fic.)
  • Fanfic Writers Have No Sense Of Scale
    • If Blud is "like twice the size of Ryuk" he must have a hard time fitting himself into Light's bedroom.
    • Blud later comes back even bigger, 'with twenty feet tall'.
  • Fight Unscene: Much of the Dark vs. Blud fight in Chapter 13 is supposedly too fast for the audience to see.
  • Foreshadowing: Chapter 25. Lampshaded.
  • Forgot About His Powers: Dark resorts to trying to snipe Near from the "Eyfal" Tower, despite being armed with both the Royal Death Note and the Everything Note.
  • Full-Name Ultimatum: Some cops in chapter 24; apparently, Dark's full name is "Darcus Taylor Yagami."
  • Gambit Pileup: Attempted, but failed rather miserably. Of course, that doesn't stop the reader from being morbidly curious about what ridiculous nonsense is going to happen next.
  • Gender Bender: Light tries to resurrect Creepy Girl with the Life Note, but Night tells him (a little too late) that "she" was actually Creepy Dude, a man disguised as a girl. Thus, Creepy Dude is resurrected as an actual Creepy Girl.
  • Gender Flip: Hal Lidner is a male, while in the anime and manga, "he" is a she.
  • Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: D'arkYagam'i certainly seems to think so.
  • Good Twin: Day Yagami for Light.
  • Good News, Bad News: When Day goes onto a news program in chapter 28, this is exactly how he presents it. The good news being that a Secret Death Note has been discovered, and the bad news being that every dad in the world is under arrest.
  • Goofy Print Underwear: Dark's underwear has "d"s on them.
  • Goshdang It To Heck: Light's mom.
  • Gratuitous Foreign Language: About three in this one sentence, along with a ton of Rouge Angles of Satin.
    "GRACIAS!" she thanked. "I fortez je was mort" (An: France for dead) "Jem apple Naomi"
  • Gratuitous Japanese: Chapter 26's title. In the epilogue meanwhile, someone who seems to be an Alternate History L speaks like this:
    "Konnycheewar!" the not-naked dude said in Japanish (IT MEANS HELLO).
  • Guns Akimbo
  • Hammerspace: Night puts a Life Note into her bra.
  • Hand Wave: In-universe example in chapter 29:
    "Its probably nobody" said [the fake] L waving like a moron. "Now who wants pizza?!?!?!?"
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Dark is not gay. The author want to make this very clear:
    Light’s parents had made light’s bed into a double bed (I know what your thinking sickos no theres no slash!)
    Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything!
    he loved Dark which maybe he did a little but not really cos Darks not gay!!!! SERIOUSLY
    "I am not gay" Darksaid because the readers at home might think so other ways.
    "Where did you get him he is very hansom!" dark said but only because he was a clone of him HES NOT GAY."
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: Blud keeps switching sides at the drop of a hat, then often reveals those switches were fake seconds later.
  • Heel Realization: Night.
    "Look Mr L dude" dark said darkly. "I just want to blow up the world is that so evil?"
    "Yes because then where will the kiddies live?"
    Night looked shocked and stopped signing.
    "BRO! I NEVER FORT OF THAT!"
  • High-Pressure Blood: What happens when Near throws a knife back at a knife throwing guy, dousing Dark's car with blood.
  • Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure: The size of large objects are nearly always compared to the size of a bus or a "nuclear".
  • His Name Is...: Mikami manages to get a "Light Yaga" before dying, and L is angered that the group never got a name.
  • IKEA Erotica: Sex scenes are always avoided by telling us that the characters are 'sexing.' That's it.
  • Immediate Self-Contradiction: Chapter 29 is named “The fight! Except no fighting”.
  • The Immodest Orgasm: L gets a special mention.
    "At first they only sexed a bit but then they sexed more becos Dark needed to brake in and L had to make a bunch of noise so she wood not hear the smashy bits."
    "They sexed very hard and made so much nosse that a bunch of pigeons flew away all over the city and some dudes thought it was an earthquake but it wasn't because it was just some noisy sexing and Ls trailer was rocking real hard then it stopped cos they were done."
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Night and L.
  • Implausible Deniability: Soichiro claims that he is a Fake Defector and on L's side, immediately after firing several shots at him with a revolver (which L is described as having to dodge). He also made Dark much more of a threat than he would have been otherwise by smuggling him into the United States, so this claim is pretty dubious.
  • Improbable Aiming Skills
    • Dark kills 1,000,000 stormtroopers with 100,000 bullets. That means every time he shoots, he kills on average ten people. Except he misses one... but then punches him so hard in the face it kills 100 more.
    • Near, using a Nerf gun, manages to shoot out the bullets of Dark's sniper rifle, as well as his scope, while Dark is shooting from atop the "Eyfal Tower".
  • Improbable Weapon User: Almost everyone in this fic at some point.
  • Improbably Cool Car: The Watarimobile.
  • Improvised Golems: In Chapter 33, a Khaos-possessed Light sneaks out of school by somehow making an animate doppelganger of himself out of mashed potatoes and sending it to class in his place.
  • Incest Is Relative
    • Somewhere down the line, the author seems to have forgotten that Sayu is Dark's sister.
      Soichiro: NO! My wife! And my daughter! And my son! And my other son who is an evil guy! And his girlfriend! And a girl from the bus! All sexing together!
    • Oddly enough, 9 chapters later, Dark refuses to see Night naked because "it was his clon and thats like a sister and tthats gross."
    • The epilogue makes practically all the pairings in the series to this. Sayu's relationship with Misa is essentially the only one that does not fall into this trope.
  • In Name Only:
    • The "hokie cokie", the song that will end the world. Except it has different lyrics and background music, so it's completely different (not to mention the typo in its name).
    • Also, all the canon characters and elements.
  • Insane Troll Logic: This gem from chapter 41:
    I MUST KILL EVERYONE blud replied and he took the needle from TIOSEAFK!
    "Why do you want to want to do that?" she asked pouting her lipsticky lips.
    BECAUSE WE ARE SHINIGAMI AND THAT MEANS GOD OF DEATH AND GODS CAN DO ANYTHING SO THEY SHOULD MAKE EVERYTHING DEAD and he stuck the needle in a blood banana and sucked out the goopy blood inside.
  • Jump the Shark: In-Universe. And a little more literally than expected.
    "They did a bunch of jumps over a wall and a cruise boat but missed some sharks and didnt jump them (ITS AN INTERNET THINGY)"
  • Kick the Dog: Soichiro steals another policeman's jacket and uses it to heat the precinct. But don't worry, he gets it back later!
  • Kick Them While They Are Down: The author does this to constant Butt-Monkey Near. After being killed countless times and suffering the hatred of every character in the story, Dark steals Near's Legos so the poor boy doesn't get any presents for Christmas!
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch
    • Attempted with Dark attacking Near... except despite what we're told, Near never does anything deserving of his kicking.
    • A retcon in a later chapter reveals that Near used a Blind Note to stop Light seeing a naked woman and tricked Light into killing Taylor Swift. The author specifically states that he introduced these concepts to make Near deserving of this kicking. And calls us "doushy" for it.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: Mikami, while identifying Light as Kira.
  • Killed Off for Real: The Anti-Life Note kills people and prevents the Life Note from bringing them back. It's used on Near, but he's fine in the next chapter.
  • Kill 'Em All: By the end the world has been destroyed, every person aside from Dark and Samanther are dead. Yet somehow or another the author claims there can be new adventures.
  • Klingon Promotion: Blud became the Shinigami King by killing the previous King.
  • Manly Tears: Du'Arq ("HE started crying with happy but then stopped and man cried instead which was more manly.")
  • Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: It doesn't even do that.
  • Meanwhile, in the Past...
  • Medium Awareness
    • Light can somehow read the text in the story in the first chapter. Later on, Lights Mom says she cannot understand what a japanese man is saying because she can't understand the drawingsnote .
    Light: "Stop saying colour! Your in America now! Its color!"
    • Later on, when Lights Mom is confused about the Death Notes, Light explains the source material's plot to her.
  • Metaphorgotten: "HEY NEAR TRUTH OR DARE" mello roared lolling as blood explossomed out like a rainbow if all the colours except red were stolen by an evil leprechorn and instead of a pot of gold he had a pot of dead sparrows but they weren't dead they were zombies and they terrorised ireland."
  • Mind Reading: Night Yagami, with her "Shinigami Ears".
  • Mind Screw
    • Dark can jump out of the basement window and fall 20 feet onto a lit barbecue... and live. Because he has an erection...
    • Really, most if not all of the story qualifies for this trope. Chapter 42 especially qualifies. Dark is his own father. He had sex with his mother/wife from the future who went to the past (with his amnesiac self). Or something.
    • When Dark kills L, Blud (seemingly) betrays him by using his Life Note to bring L back to life. Dark is arrested and sent to prison. Dark claims that this has all gone "exactly as planned" because now he can break out of prison. So his plan was to get sent to prison and break out, even though all of that changes nothing.
    • The final chapter of the epilog takes this even further. It turns out that the Watari we knew throughout the whole story is actually Near, who is an evil clone who impersonates him and does L's bidding. The Near we used to know is actually the original Watari, whom L tied up and hypnotized with legos so that he forgot who he really was. The girl from the bus, who is actually also Samanther (which also makes her Light's mom) had sex with Light at some point and gave birth to L (which means that Creepy Dude is Light). Moreover, L is revealed to have somehow been transformed into a baby after being defeated by Dark during their final battle, and then sent back in time, where he becomes baby Watari. And after that reveal, Light somehow turns into Blud because he was Blud all along.
  • Modesty Bedsheet: Night, Chapter 16
  • More Dakka
    • Blud's seventeen crossbows stuck together with blood and "duck tape".
    • To shoot 100,000 shots in the ~10 minutes that Dark's implied to have done it, his gun would have to be firing at a rate of 166 rounds per second. And each bullet can pass through ten stormtroopers before stopping.
  • Motive Decay: Erm... Dark? Aren't you trying to be God of a New World? Rather than just using your powers to shag your mother?
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Dark doesn't bother much with planning, instead typically writing his target's name into the Death Note whenever he needs to solve a problem. L's plans to capture Dark tend to consist of sending assassins after him.
  • My Nayme Is
    • When Dark becomes a Shinigami, he renames himself Du'arq. Except it usually gets spelled Da'urq. Or D'uark. Or D'rq. Or Du'Raq.
    • Then Sayu becomes a Shinigami herself and is renamed Sa~Y'u.
  • My Own Grampa: Dark has his memory erased, becomes Soichiro, knocks up Samanther, and becomes his own dad. The Epilogues also reveal that L is Watari, making himself his own grandfather.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: The girl from the bus kills Dark on L's orders, enabling him to become King of the Shinigami.
  • No Indoor Voice: Watari, Blud, and Soichiro
  • No Name Given: Light's Mom and The Girl from the Bus. The author knows they have a name, but he forgot, to the point that, when there's time travel to the past, Light's Mom is called Past Light's Mom. Coincidentally, both characters turn out to be the same person.
  • Not Good with Rejection: Light does not react well when Misa breaks up with him near the end of the story, especially after Sayu tells him she and Misa have been married for a while. This is despite Misa 'sexing' with Sayu for at least a year, and Light himself 'sexing' with L during that time period, making him both a hypocrite and someone completely unaware of the obvious.
  • Obligatory Swearing: Soichiro seems to suffer worst from this.
  • Odd Name Out: The Yagami children are named Light, Dark, Day, Night, Dawn... and Sayu.
  • Of Corsets Sexy: TIOSEFAJ. Maybe. She wears "one of those sexy waistcoat things ladies wear in Shakespeare times with the chests and the wastes" anyway.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: How exactly does Soichiro get from his place to L's in the time it takes for Light & Dark to talk and Dark to call L?
  • Oh, Cisco!: "Better make it a foursome!" No, Light, just no.
  • One-Winged Angel: L makes a terrifying transformation during his showdown with Dark.
    The bits of candy melted and caught fire and L who was now like an inch taller slumbered forwards covered in fire and lava and his hair was all wilds and two fires burned in his eyes which kind of hurt but now he was a monster so he dint care. "THIS IS MY TRUE FORM" he said.
  • Only the Author Can Save Them Now: Invoked in chapter 35(aka new chapter 32), where the author admits that he made Khaos too strong to be beaten by Dark, so he decided to reset to story. Which he does by having Dark randomly find a Reset Note and use it to go back in time and defeat Khaos when he was weaker.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Queen Elizabeth while being controlled by Dark in Chapter 23:
    Suddenly the queen got up and punched the dude IN THE FACE! Which is something the Queen wouldn't normally do but she did and that's why its shocking.
  • Opposite-Sex Clone: Night Yagami, Dark's sister.
  • Outrun the Fireball: Dark and Near when faced with a nuclear explosion in France.
  • Out with a Bang: Happens both literally and metaphorically to Cybertakada. Going to "101% sexing" with Sayu causes her to explode.
  • Parental Incest: Between Dark and his mom. See Incest Is Relative, below.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Night's attempt at crossdressing: a tattoo that says "Im a guy". While naked.
  • Parallel Conflict Sequence: The final battle between the Yagami family and L's team is primarily made up of various fights between different groups of characters.
  • Parlor Games: The kiddies at Whammy House play Strip Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare. It ends as you would expect. "Near was naked cos he lost all his four fits and everyone had lolled at his ugly bod. Mello had been dared to glue himself to the ceiling so he was stuck there for now. Cool Dude had got drunk on Rgoers beer and started kissing matt who was also drunk and everyone had lolled EVEN MORE."
  • Pet the Dog: Light buying a new breadmaker and flowers for Yotsuba to "say soz".
  • Plot Hole:
    • Dark's Royal Death Note kills anyone's who name is written in it, even if you don't know their face or name. So... what do you write in it? To be fair, he could kill L just by writing "L" in it. Whether this was the Royal Death Note's exception or yet another unintentional (or not) use of this trope is left for you to decide.
    • Remember the quote at the top? That's bad enough on its own but it's later revealed that Dark didn't even have a car and went to America as a ship's stowaway.
    • Soichiro is posing as Watari in Chapter 1. That's fine. But he's with L at "Watari House"invoked at the exact same time he's in America with the Yagami family.
    • At the end of the story, Samanther gives birth to Light, Dark and Night, even though Night was a clone that was created halfway through the story.
    • The final epilogue chapter explains Blud created the Royal Death Note by fusing Light's Death Note with the Ancient Death Note. Except that, in the first chapter, Light still has his Death Note, and Blud says that the Royal Death Note has always been property of the Shinigami King.
  • Poirot Speak: Some of the French people speak in a bizarre mixture of French and English ("TU WILL PAYEZ FOR THIS!"). Of course, the French is about as accurate as the English.
  • The Power of Love: Dark claims this is the reason why he doesn't die in his fight against L in chapter 42. We don't see it either.
  • Previously On…: Watari has a computer that synopsizes the story so far. Except it manages to get the plot completely wrong. That's right - even the author doesn't know what's going on. Which, granted, is entirely understandable.
  • Punctuated Pounding: Dark punctuates his threats against Near with coshing. "DO (cosh) YOU (cosh) WANT (cosh) TO (cosh) BE (cosh) NECKS?"
  • Pūnct'uatìon Sh'akër: Du'arq. The author's username D'arkYagam'i counts too.
  • Putting the Band Back Together: L and Watari do this in chapter 35... Except halfway through they start recruiting people they clearly haven't met before so one has to wonder how this qualifies as getting the old team back together...
  • Rated M for Manly: Soichiro. Word of God states that he's so manly that he can grow facial hair at an extremely fast rate. He's also so manly that when he yells into a cellphone, the satellite explodes, raining flaming debris on Seattle and Moscow, and the call STILL goes through.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Subverted. Light and L's Harrier Jet is described as being "pink and lame and not badass" like Dark's is.
  • The Real Remington Steele: When Naomi first appears, she's Takada in disguise, but the real Naomi later appears.
  • Recursive Fanfiction: this fic has "inspired" other works [2], [3]
  • Reference Overdosed: Especially in the later half of the story, there are Shout Outs galore. If the author mentions in the starting greeting that he recently watched something that he found cool, then it's certain that the episode will contain several references to it.
  • Related in the Adaptation: A rather crazy one. In the final chapter, it’s revealed that Light and The Girl From The Bus are the parents of L. By this point, it’s also been revealed the latter is also Light’s Mom. As such, L is both the son and half-brother of Light.
  • Reset Button
    • After Sayu launches nuclear missiles at Du'Arq, the changes he made, like making Watari Queen of England, are undone.
    • The Reset Note from the start of Chapter 35 also qualifies.
  • Rewriting Reality: The Everything Note allows its user to do this to a much greater extent than any other note. Long story short, anything written down in it will happen, which allows the user to do anything.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin
    • Most of the story, but several lines stand out:
    "Die you pies of shit!"
    "Dark reached round and grabbed the cock"
    Light: "Few! I thought I was a boner there!"
    "YOU WILL USE YOUR POWERS TO KIL... LIGHT AYANAMI!"
    "YOU WERE ALL MY PORNS IN THIS GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE"
    • Whenever the author says "vicarious" he means "bicurious".
    • Let's not forget the 'angles signing' when lights mom came back to life.
  • Rousing Speech:
    "BLud said he will make me king of the Shinigami if we win this fight so now we have to DOUBLE FIGHT" He shouted at every one because he was the leader and this is the part of the movie where everyon's all like "WE'RE GONNA LOSE" and dark is like "NO WAY M-THERF-CKERS" and everyone cheered
  • Rule of Cool
    • Referenced at one point. "I KNOW NOAMI WAS NOT ENLGISH BUT IT MAKESS THE STORY COOLER THIS WAY!"
    • You can't read a passage like this one and say it isn't ridiculously awesome:
    Things got more awesome and they were fighting on the roof and there was lighting all around and winds blew everyones hair aaround and also blew away the sheet night was using to not be naked. An thunder smash the roof of the building and bits of tile flew every where and it was very scary. Like if youve ever jumped in front of a bus and the bus was being driven by satan and there was a dead frog on the front and fire instead of a windscreen - thats how scary it was.
    • This entire fic is basically fueled by this trope.
  • Running Gag: The "Near" puns, as well as "...or my name isn't...!"
  • Ruthless Modern Pirates: Dark's boat is attacked by "moden pirates with guns and rockets and taking over oil tanks lick those guys on tv."
  • Said Bookism: Constantly abused (and used incorrectly), especially "muttered". Some are clearly made up, like "rofled."
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Yotsuba is described doing this "only manlier because he was big."
  • Serial Escalation: How many more twists can be introduced?, how many Shout Outs will occur?, and how Over the top can the characters get?
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: "The stuff that was going on was pretty grafic and I don’t want to make this fic M so all I’ll say is that it was sexy and Takada was using mop but was naked (you’ll have to figure out how for your self rofl!)"
  • Shaped Like Itself: The favourite snack of Dark's Shinigami Blud? "blood bananas made of blood". Also, "The nuclear bom went off like a bom".
  • Shout-Out: See the Shouts Out page.
  • Show Within a Show: Recursive version: Death Note.
  • Slap-on-the-Wrist Nuke: Either Soichiro's car is impossibly well armored, or the "nuclear bom" scratching its paint was impossibly weak. It's enough to make Soichiro mad, however.
  • Slash Fic: Initially it attacks slash - later, Watari finds L and Light in bed together.
  • Skewed Priorities: Often involving Soichiro.
    • First, when a "nuclear bom" detonates in the city he lives in, he seems to be more concerned (and in fact enraged) at the fact his car's paint was scratched.
    • Later on, when a Khoas-controlled Light, who should be at school, shows up naked, having sexed with a girl in an alley, and with the desire to time travel, Soichiro tells him that it's cold outside.
  • Smoking Hot Sex: L in chapter 27 after having sex with Light.
    "They lay back and L was smoking a ciggeret cos that's what peeps do after sexing I think.''
  • Sorry, I'm Gay: L, when Night tries to seduce him to find out his real name.
    "I will sex with you if you tell me your real name." She spoke all sexy style. "Sorry but im gay" [said L] and slammed the door in her face.
  • Spit Take: With cake. And french fries.
  • Spoiler Title: The title to chapter 14: "L Dies! but thats a twist!"
  • Spontaneous Mustache: In one scene, Dark spontaneously grows a mustache to impress Naomi. It works, Coitus Ensues.
  • Stable Time Loop: Dark has his memories erased by Blud in the final battle. So Samanther lives with him while being pregnant with three of his children. Because Dark has no idea who he is anymore, he grows a moustache and decides to be a cop named Sochiro. The three children they have are: Dark, Light, and Night. Since Dark can't remember Samanther's name anymore, she decides to just be called "Light's Mom". And from there the entire wacky thing begins again... somehow.
  • Spiritual Successor: Code Geass: Awesome of the Rebellion, which borrows the idea of the main character teaming up with his much more awesome long lost twin brother and just runs with it.
  • Stealth Parody: It has to be.
  • Story-Breaker Power:
    • The Royal Death Note, which can kill people whose name or face you don't know, completely bypassing the limitations of the regular Death Note. In spite of this, the characters that get it at some point prefer to kill through more "conventional" means anyways.
    • The Everything Note, which can be used to make anything written on it happen, suffers a similar fate - after Dark uses it to reverse time, other, less versatile Notes start appearing and the characters decide to use them over the Everything Note.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: See Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? above.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Night Yagami gets a tattoo and changes into a man to go out with L and get his Life Note.
  • Tagline: "IS HE GOOD? IS HE EVIL? WHO KNOWS!?" - Taken from the author's profile.
  • Take That!:
    "Suddenly a rocket WOOOSHED past and left a big line of smoke and a bang at the end where it missed but only the helicopter because it still hit another tower but it was okay because noone was in the tower except for that leloosh guy (MORE LIKE LELOSER AM I RIGHT!) an d everyone hates him so its cool except he has a giant robot and also ive never seen it."
    • And yet another one at Twilight.
    [...] but it [the skin] wasn't shiny cos those vampires are lame
  • Tangled Family Tree: More like a Tangled Family Loop! At the end of the epilogue, it is known that:
    • Soichiro is an older Dark, which means Dark is his own father, as well as the father of his own siblings - Light and Sayu.
    • Samanther is also Lights Mom and The Girl from the Bus. The Girl from the Bus is L's mother, so Samanther is L's mother.
    • Light is the one who left The Girl from the Bus (who is also his mother, although he didn't know that) pregnant with L. This means Light is L's father, and that Light is Creepy Dude. But Watari is L's grandfather, as well as Creepy Dude's father, which means Watari is Light's father, so Watari has to be Dark as well. Which makes Light both L's father and half-brother (this puts their relationship across the story in an unsettling light).
    • Watari, L, and Near are all revealed to be the same person at different points in time. When you put everything previously mentioned together, this means Watari, L, Near, Soichiro, and Dark are all alternate selves of the same person. Samanther, Lights Mom, and The Girl from the Bus are also alternate selves. And so are Light, Creepy Dude, Blud, and Might Yagami, Yotsuba's dog. Practically the entirety of the main characters are an alternate equivalent of Dark, Samanther, or Light. Mind Screw does not even begin to describe it - and this does not even include the clones...
  • The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Dark's speech when controlling the Queen, considering that it was completely prewritten in his Death Note.
  • Tap on the Head: Dark just won't stop coshing Near. With his cosh.
  • Tears of Joy: Dark cries some after he becomes king of the world.
  • Technicolor Eyes: "His seventy-nine eyes all burned a diffrent shed of red except one which was gold because it contained the tiny good part of his sole"
  • Textual Celebrity Resemblance: Samanther is described looking "just like the drummer chick from that scot pilgrim film" (Kim Pine), played by Alison Pill.
  • That Came Out Wrong: Many lines end up like this thanks to typos or Suspiciously Specific Denials, but this one really sticks out:
    "It was the early morning and Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything! Light came all over the bed from the window of the room. Dark reached round and grabbed the cock from the table. It was seven oclock."
  • Theme Naming: Light's siblings/clones/duplicates/whatever are called Dark, Night, Day, Dawn, Dusk, Shadow, and Twilight.
  • The '90s: "It was the ninetys in America. Everyone was watching Friends and listening to Nirvana and Backseat Boys on records and driving motorbikes and wearing lever jackets everywhere and being all slick and watching flims like Goastbusters and Lord of the Rings! There was no thing as the internet yet so peeps had to download stuff from their TV instead."
  • There Is Only One Bed: "But only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything!"
  • They Killed Kenny: Poor Near.
  • This Is Reality: Discussed or Averted or Subverted or Double Subverted or Lampshaded or... something:
    everyone cheered except this isn't a movie THIS IS REAL LIFE except its not cos it's a fanfic and everyone new they were gonna win! But they cheered anyway
  • Temporal Paradox: Invoked but improperly used. Blud tells Dark that he's going to write Matt's name in the Death Note so that he dies in a car crash in the past and prevent him from stealing the Death Note from Yotsuba. Blud uses this trope to explain why he is saying this now and not when he uses the Death Note in the near future.
  • Time Police: Explicitly mentioned as existing in Chapter 33, but absent from the story. A time banker explains that they guard all time machines in the world except for "time trains"; the reason for this remains unknown.
  • Time Skip:
    NOTHING HAPPENED FOR A BIT GUYS! THEY CANT ALWAYS HAVE AN EXITING LIVE SO IM SKIPPING LIKE A YEAR COS ALL THEY DID WAS GO TO SCHOOL AND KIRA DUDES AND THIS ONE TIME SOICHIRO HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THE DESK LADY AND LIGHTS MOM WAS REAL SAD SO SHE CHEETED ON HIM WITH WATARI AND NOW THERE EVEN
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Blud and his blood bananas.
  • Troll Fic
    • And it just gets more and more obvious with each new chapter.
    • The obviousness reaches its peak in chapter 18, where D'ark has a massive stream of consciousness where he openly admits that what he just narrated makes no sense and throws in a ridiculously implausible Hand Wave before concluding with "...I don't know it's not my story. It is but I don't care."
  • Trouserspace: Dark keeps his phone and Death Note here. And Blud "a bar of gold the size of the empire state building". And Mello a bottle, "to pretend he had a big man thing", and a bazooka.
  • Unexplained Recovery
    • Blud comes back from being killed by Dark without explaining how he did so.
    • Near provides an even more confusing example. In chapter 13, Dark kills Near because he needs him for a "sacrifis". However, later in the chapter, it's stated that Dark imprisoned Near. Night then writes Near's name in the Anti Life Note which is stated to be able to kill the victim forever. However, in the next chapter, Near is revealed to be alive.
    • Two more examples are L and Light, whom Dark "tricked" into killing each other, but they both appear alive and well a few chapters later. Bizarrely, the opposite happens to Mello, who is described as a ghost during the same scene, even though he seems to have escaped the last chapter he had appeared in perfectly alive.
  • Unit Confusion: The author claims that "killmeters" are the same as miles in France.
  • Unfortunate Names: Watari Bumblesnoot the Third.
  • The Unpronounceable: Seriously, try pronouncing "TIOSEAFJ".
  • Unrealistic Black Hole: Appears in the climactic battle, after Blud spits sizzling bacon grease at the ground that somehow penetrates to the Earth's core and causes it to rapidly expand until the planet explodes, somehow creating a black hole that proceeds to suck up the entire universe.
  • Unusual Chapter Numbers: Dark goes back in time in Chapter 35; every chapter number after this is three less than what it should be.
  • Unusual Euphemism: "Getting happy" seems to refer fairly consistently to becoming aroused (for male characters) or having an orgasm (for female characters).
  • Villainous Lineage: Apparently, killing all "evil dudes" means that there cannot be any evil kids.
  • Voodoo Shark: This fic is so convoluted, it actually manages to Voodoo Shark a Voodoo Shark. Night magically reappears after Dying For Real. How did she come back to life? She was accidentally life-noted back by Higuchi Yotsuba when trying to revive his dog Might Yagami. Why does he have a dog called Might Yagami? Because Light Yagami accidentally got cloned and came back as a dog called "Might" in the future. Right...
  • Weird Moon
    Then the moon got really close to the ground and it was the pointy moon so it started stabbing people.
  • Weird Science: The father detector.
    He had a machine in his hands that looked like a bomb which scared people but it was actually just a father detector. He stuck the wires to the creepy dudes neck and eyes and butt and the machine went "bip bip bip bip biiiiip bip bip biiiiiiiiiip bip bip" and exploded and then a paper came out.
    • "Yotsuba" apparently revived Night Yagami by mistake, trying to revive his pet Might Yagami. It's not dumb that he screwed up the name (though that is bad); it's that he gave his own pet somebody else's last name.
  • We Used to Be Friends: Dark claims that he and L used to be best friends until Dark shot Mello and Watari.
  • Wham Line: From Chapter 6:
    Blud: "THAT'S WHERE YOUR WRONG MY SHINY HAIRED APPRENTICE. YOU SEE I ONLY PRETENDED TO BE YOUR SHINIGAMI BUT IN FACT I WAS L'S ALL ALONG. I GAVE HIM A LIFE NOTE AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WRITE L'S NAME IN IT AND HE WILL COME BACK TO LIFE AS GOOD AS NEW AND YOUR PLANS WILL HAVE BIN FOILLED!"
    • From Chapter 14:
    Dark: (writing in the "Talk To Dead Dudes" Note) Are you l lol?
    L: yep.
    • From Chapter 42:
    Amnesiac!Dark: What did you call me?
    Samanther: (looking at the bowl) Soy... Cheerios... Soichiro!
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Soichiro denounces L for testing the Death Note on his wife, but he uses the Life Note to revive her.

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