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Porn Stache

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" the SAS commander, who has the sort of absurd facial hair that indeed would have given him a proud military bearing circa 1915, but nowadays just makes him look like a German porn star."
Yahtzee, on Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare's Captain Price

A style of facial hair that resembles the classic "handlebar mustache", but is thicker and bushier on top, with no other facial hair underneath. Often used to (at least in the wearer's intentions) indicate a guy's "rugged" or "manly" nature.

This trope has a Fashion Dissonance problem. For most of the '70s and early '80s, it was considered authoritarian and manly, and associated with cops, military men,note  and sex symbols like Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. But people born in the '80s and later came to associate the Porn Stache with their fathers and other elder men in their lives, killing its sex appeal for many and making it difficult for modern viewers to take such characters seriously. In the 2010s, moustaches have once again become prominent in some circles, although they are sometimes associated with Hipsters.

A Sub-Trope would be "All Gay Men Have Porn Staches". Whenever a cartoon or comic shows a Gay Bar (especially if the series isn't normally aimed at queer audiences), at least half the men will sport a mustache like this. During the age of the Castro clones, this was to some extent Truth in Television. Nowadays, however, it's no more popular among gay men than it is among the straight, and its resurgence in the 2010s is still seen as hipster-y, even in gay circles.

Compare with Manly Facial Hair. Not to Be Confused with a Porn Stash. If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is Hairy Hammerspace.


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    Anime & Manga 

  • The original Brawny paper towel logo guy.
  • The Man Your Man Could Smell Like in the Old Spice commercials. It peels off, but the bare skin underneath it can also peel off to reveal another mustache. It is not shown, but presumably that one can also peel off; its not clear how many layers he's got.
  • This commercial for a Datsun 10th Anniversary 280XZ "Black Gold Edition" circa 1980.
  • Lampshaded in this Grolsch commercial. In the first take of a scene of a porn film in production, an actor and actress perform the ubiquitous porn scenario of a tradesman arriving at a house and finding a housewife at home alone; but the actor has no mustache, and he proceeds to repair the refrigerator. Filming is interrupted by a Grolsch spokesman (played by Ronald Top) who complains that "this blue movie is not ready yet", pointing out the actor's lack of a mustache and him actually fixing the fridge, and comparing rushed production of a porn film to rushed brewing of beer. The actor does have a mustache in the re-take.
  • Mike Lindell, schlocky purveyor of MyPillow in infomercial-style television advertising (and plastered on the packaging), sports one.

    Comic Books 
  • Batman: Bruce Wayne of all people sports one at beginning of The Dark Knight Returns, he shaves off pretty quickly though.
  • Captain America: Iconic villain Batroc the Leaper has quite the porn stache that’s either long and thin or quite bushy Depending on the Artist.
  • Green Lantern: While usually thin, Sinestro’s stache under pen of a few artists has become this.
  • Iron Man: Believe or not but Tony Stark sported a truly impressive pornstache in the 80s during the Armor Wars saga. Tony in later comics shaved it back to his smaller stache before getting his current bearded look.
  • Invincible: The Planet of Pornstaches—Viltrum. Omni-Man in particular is probably the most prominent example.
  • Power Girl: Vol. 2 features the ultimate ham Vartox, an out of date hero from the 70s who rules his planet through a combination of super powers, unbelievable manliness, and a porn stache of truly epic proportions. Played entirely serious in the character's first appearances, back when he was introduced to cash in on the popularity of... Sean Connery in Zardoz.
  • Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos: Dum Dum-Dugan’s defining trait is his porn-stache. Neil McDonough who played Dugan in the MCU managed to pull it off wonderfully (see below in film).
  • Spider-Man: J.Jonah Jameson nowadays has a pretty bushy pornstache. Although the tiny Hitler stache he had in The '60s was much worse.
  • Suicide Squad: Deadshot.
  • Watchmen: The Comedian.

    Comic Strips 
  • Anthony Caine from For Better or for Worse grew one in an attempt to hide his baby face. It didn’t work, coming out rather unflattering and making him look 'too' old.

    Film — Animated 
  • Cars: Chick Hicks' grille gives him the appearance of having a sleazy mustache.

    Film — Live-Action 

  • The covers of the Soldier of Fortune 70's/80's pulp novels by Peter McCurtin show the eponymous mercenary Jim Rainey brandishing an automatic weapon and looking suitably badass...were it not for this trope. The fact that he's occasionally shirtless doesn't help the porn association either.

    Live-Action TV 
  • The Star Wars Holiday Special featured a rather impressive one worn by "Lord Helmet" (as dubbed by RiffTrax.)
  • Battlestar Galactica (2003): Edward James Olmos shaved off his trademark moustache when he took the role of "Bill Adama". He regrew it for the "New Caprica" arc, to symbolize the character's complacency during this period where humanity wasn't being killed off by Cylons, but ultimately shaved it off once humanity was successfully evacuated from the planet when the Cylons took over.
  • BJ Hunnicutt grew one for the last few seasons of M*A*S*H to stick it to the Army. In the '70s it probably worked, but today it's a little hard to take the devoted family man and compassionate doctor seriously when he looks like a '70s porn star.
  • Nick Stokes, briefly, on the original CSI. He mercifully got rid of it.
  • Wash from Firefly has one in a flashback. Zoe comments that there's "something" she doesn't like about him. Since they eventually get married and he's cleanshaven in the rest of the series, presumably the lady just doesn't like porn staches. One of the novels has her pretty much stating as much. Of course, then there's the blooper version of that scene where both Zoe and Mal are also wearing porn staches....
  • DS Ray Carling in Life On Mars and especially Ashes to Ashes (2008).
  • Tom Selleck, of Magnum, P.I. fame.
  • Tom Selleck also sports one when he plays Monica's boyfriend Richard on Friends... it's pretty conspicuous. He later appears without it and just looks... wrong.
  • Detective Carisi from Law & Order: SVU sports a glorious porn stache at his intoduction to the series, for the first couple of episodes of season 16 until he shaves it off.
  • Earl from My Name Is Earl. Jason Lee described it as "the sexiest moustache on TV" and said it downright upstages him.
  • Matthew grows one in an episode of Newsradio, much to the other characters' horror, and Jimmy James is revealed—to his eternal embarrassment—to have grown one once. See the quote page.
  • Detective Ronnie Gardocki, during the first two seasons of The Shield, had a porn 'stache before trading up for a full beard for the rest of the series (minus the second half of season six, where he was clean shaven). Actor David Rees Snell has over the years acknowledged the pros and cons of his choice of facial hair, noting that in spite of the various jokes people made about his 'stache, that it helped him stand out on a show filled with clean-shaven men and develop a fan following amongst viewers of the show.
  • The Janitor from Scrubs had one when he was a hurdle runner, before sleeping with the President's daughter (or so he claimed).
  • Inevitably, one of the male leads in Swingtown.
  • Kelso from That '70s Show grew one of these when he became a cop because he thought it would make him look like an authority figure. Hyde said it made him look like a porn star. Kelso was happy either way. His friends later shaved it into a Hitler mustache while he was sleeping.
  • Deputy Sacks from Veronica Mars. Notably, the mustache is fake and without it, he is quite attractive.
  • The X-Files:
    • The No Name Given corporate hitman in the two-parter "Tempus Fugit" and "Max" has one. Unfortunately, his demise at the hands of alien abductors prevented fans from adding "Porn Stache Man" to The X-Files' list of nameless bad guys.
    • Various police officers who are somehow part of several of the Agents' investigations — for instance, in "Wetwired" or in "Chinga".
  • Robbie Ray Stewart of Hannah Montana dons one of these to transform into his country-singer-turned-manager persona of Robbie Ray.
  • Spencer Shay of iCarly generally includes one of these in any diguise. For example, infiltrating his sisters school as a janitor to catch her making out with Bad Boy Griffin.
  • Mike from All in the Family had one. Once or twice in the series he would shave it off, only for the characters to point out that he looked better with the creepy mustache than without it.
  • In the Seinfeld episode "The Butter Shave", Jerry and George grew mustaches. George says he feels like "an out-of-work porn star".
  • In the White Collar episode "Need to Know," it's revealed that during Neal's imprisonment, Peter had a mustache for about a month. After seeing a photograph, Neal comments that he was expecting something more Magnum, P.I. and less Mario.
  • In Supernatural Gabriel dons a fake porn stache on a porn DVD Video Will he gives to the Winchesters.
    • When Sam travels back to The '70s in "The Song Remains The Same", he's amused by all the big moustaches.
  • Brendan Brady in Hollyoaks.
  • Jason King.
  • In Drake & Josh, Josh attempts to grow one of these (being a kids show, they didn't actually say that it was a "porn stache" but it was implied), but everyone hates it, including his girlfriend, who even refuses to kiss him with the mustache.
  • Both Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez sported impressive models in the TV show Emergency!.
  • Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS fame. He has one (briefly) after recovering from amnesia that wigged Tony out.
    Gibbs: I need you to look at something before you leave.
    Fornell: You've got that mustache in a box, don't you?
  • The Top Gear (UK) presenters all sport these during The Interceptors segment, a parody of 1970s detective series in general.
    • In 2014 trio wanted to prove that 80s hot hatchback were much better than their modern day counterparts. And naturally you couldn't own a hot hatch without getting into a chase with 50note . So each of the cars were tested by going head-to-head with Top Gear Police Department. Each presenter had to drive his own car while the other two had to use anything in their disposal to stop him. And of course part of the TGPD was a fake mustache.
      May: Excuse me, sir, my mustache would like to have a word with you.

      Clarkson: Recent figures has showed that in London 12 police cars are crashed every day. And a reason is because they're driving in high energy difficult situations while under the influence of a mustache
      Hammond: Got a mustache. Got a mustache.
  • A picture in Torchwood: Miracle Day showed the immortal Jack Harkness as having one in the 1970s.
  • Hutch has a mustache for the entire fourth and final season of Starsky & Hutch.
  • Anson, the current Big Bad of Burn Notice, had one throughout Season 5, but recently shaved it off to go on the run.
  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Q has one when manifesting himself as a 1900's era boxer, to take on Sisko with Good Old Fisticuffs. And in Star Trek: Voyager the holographic Doctor writes a holonovel with thinly-veiled expies of Voyager's crew. Lieutenant Tom Paris becomes "Lt. Marseilles" with a moustache that makes even Tom's tsundere girlfriend B'Elanna Torres giggle at the sight of it.
  • George Mendez from Orange Is the New Black, so much so that all the inmates simply refer to him as "Pornstache."
  • This clip from Mystery Science Theater 3000 features Mike and the bots trying to impress Pearl with varying sizes of Pornstaches. Only Crow seems to have any success in impressing her.
  • Alex Trebek's legendary 'stache was neatly trimmed and not porn-y at all on Jeopardy!, but check him out in literally anything he did before that, from Music Hop to Battlestars to see a less fastidious facet of his facial fuzz. Sadly, the man shaved his 'stache in 2001, and the world has mourned ever since. It made a brief return in 2014, but was shaved off again.
  • Jack Pearson on This Is Us has a thick mustache since he was raising his kids in the 1980s. When he and his family meet the doctor that delivered his kids at the hospital, the doctor cracks that he should shave the mustache.
  • Blake's 7. In "Time Squad", Jenna is attacked by a homicidal maniac who's unfortunately Nightmare Fail thanks to this trope.
  • Stargate SG-1: In one Season 8 episode, an Alternate Timeline is created. Recurring character Major Paul Davis is pretty much the same type of guy he is in the original timeline - however, here he sports a mustache. It's not necessarily the most flattering look for the otherwise rather good-looking Colin Cunningham.
  • Cracker. DS Beck has to shave off his mustache because it's become a gay thing, and he's tired of getting teased about it.
  • Midnight Caller: Lieutenant Zymak grows one in the third season. Deacon approves, since he has a mustache himself, but Jack thinks it looks like a caterpillar. He shaves it off two episodes later.
  • Frederick J. Hanover from A Year at the Top sports a rather impressive one.
  • Ron Swanson of Parks and Recreation, just helping show how he's manly.
  • Sam Sylvia and camera man Russell Barroso from GLOW (2017). Fittingly, Sam used to direct softcore exploitation movies, and Russell was an actual porn camera man.

  • Freddie Mercury of Queen.
  • Rivers Cuomo, the lead vocalist of Weezer, during the Red Album days.
  • Har Mar Superstar has a very thin one, but it's clearly a porn 'stache.
  • Frank Zappa has a bushy one.
  • Devin Millar has a character named Frank, who's an older man with a bushy 'stache.
  • Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath.
  • Brad Delp, former lead singer of the band Boston.
  • Gunther. "Ooooh, you touch my tralala.../Ooooh, my dingdingdong..." Seeing the Europop he was parodying at the time, he was most likely trying to be as outrageously pornish as possible. The video can be found here.
  • Referenced in "Mustache" by the country music band Heartland, in which the narrator expresses his astonishment at the guy his girlfriend has dumped him for:
    He's got a mustache
    Has she lost her mind?
    He's got a mustache
    Straight out of 1979
    It looks like a porn star...
  • With that in mind, several exist among Country Music singers: Kix Brooks (of Brooks & Dunn), Alan Jackson, Aaron Tippin, John Dittrich (of Restless Heart), and Joe Diffie (replete with mullet).
  • John Oates of Hall & Oates. A legendary example.
  • Paul Simon, during the (later) Simon & Garfunkel days. It temporarily came back at the time of his 1975 solo album Still Crazy After All These Years.
  • The late choreographer Michael Peters, famous for playing a gang leader in Michael Jackson's "Beat It" (on which a Brazilian comedian likened him to soccer player Toninho Cerezo).
  • Neil Peart had one from 1975 to 1979/80.
  • Akiva and Jorm of The Lonely Island don very fake-looking Porn Staches to play the Bing Bong Brothers.
  • Not bushy, but Carlos Santana had a thin one.
  • Giorgio Moroder. Very much his visual trademark. His Career Resurrection prompted him to regrow it, though its effect is somewhat less now that it's white rather than the rich brown it was in the 70s.
  • Jim Croce had a large mustache that was bushy.
  • Yanni used to have a regular sized bushy stache but he shaved it off.
  • Scatman John had a regular bushy one.
  • Anthony Kiedis adopted one in 2011. It was even acknowledged in an interview, complete with saying Kiedis was compared online to 'a Mexican porn star'.
  • The cowboy, leatherman and construction worker in The Village People all sport these. In fact, the recruitment ad for the band downright asked for mustached men!
  • Peter Hollens sports an impressive 'stache in his video for "Don't Stop Me Now", aptly as a tribute to Freddie Mercury. At the end of the video he makes a point of saying he's going to shave it off.
  • Anthony Newley had one very briefly in the late '60s to early '70s, notably on the cover of his album The Romantic World of Anthony Newley.
  • James Brown had one of these from 1974 to 1978.
  • Robert Goulet began sporting one in the early '70s, and retained the look for the rest of his life.

    Newspaper Comics 


    Professional Wrestling 
  • Wrestler Scott Hall had one during his AWA days, when he was "Magnum" Scott Hall. He later shaved it before going to the WWF and becoming Razor Ramon. And the man he was emulating, MagnumTA—who looked a little like Tom Selleck from Magnum P.I.
  • Announcer Tony Schiavone, early in his career.
  • "Ravishing" Rick Rude, in what had to be a deliberate instance.
  • NWA World Heavyweight Champion Dan "The Beast" Severn is almost as well known for his shiny porno mustache as he is for anything related to athletics.
  • It became a good chunk of independent wrestler Joey Ryan's gimmick for a time, although he tended to also wear a little stubble which diluted the effect. Part of his gimmick was a sleazy 70s Casanova Wannabe, and his finishing move was called a Mustache Ride (which was also the beginning of his entrance music.)
  • The most immediately identifiable trait of "The Last Real Man" Silas Young. It's completely shaved or mustache only, if you also want to be a real man.
  • Peacock Party Boy Dalton Castle has been seen with such a mustache, perhaps to be expected.
  • Most recently, Cody Rhodes has been the butt of all the jokes with his mustache.

    Tabletop Games 
  • The Dungons And Dragons Miniatures collectable game had a Cloud Giant miniature in the Giants Of Legend expansion that was notable for sporting a huge porn-stache along with wavy 70s hair and a headband. Much derision was heaped on the mini as a result.

    Video Games 


    Web Originals 
  • Italian Spiderman. At one point, he throws it like a boomerang.
  • This ad for Mario Kart DS shows three Japanese pop-rock-types sporting these and winking/grinning at the camera. You can play with people across the world via Wi-Fi, and this is represented by the various stereotyped versions of the guy with the Mario-like mustache and hat. The picture has become rather popular as an avatar icon.
  • Gaia Online's Timmy experienced "Megapuberty" and had the choice of either growing to adulthood immediately or remaining a child forever, and out of indecision decided to poll the fandom. Most of the fans who voted started talking about what a Bishounen Timmy would grow up to be. Instead, Timmy grew up Hollywood Homely (think Nicolas Cage's character in Raising Arizona), and has since then been accosted by police officers purely because they could not believe someone with a mustache like that was an honest citizen.
  • Binder of Shame's appropriately-named Deviant Boy is described as having an "abnormally thick moustache".
  • Parodied in Episode 4 of Manwhores when Kevin gets a fake one in order to imitate Randy. Five minutes later, he's in an 8-way. Yes, an 8-way.
  • Frollo gains one of these after being age regressed by his Arab cousin in The Frollo Show.
  • Screen Junkies: Hal Rudnick grew one for movember,a men's health awareness program. In fact, the Porn Stache is the goal of every participant in Movember. Few succeed.
  • Homestar Runner: Flashbacks to when Coach Z was younger show he used to have an afro and a big, bushy moustache. In "Decemberween Short Shorts", Coach Z claims that back in 1974 "Ladies would go out with anything that had a mustache!"
  • In Dragon Ball Z Abridged, after Vegeta mentions that a pure blooded Saiyan's hair doesn't change after birth with the exceptions of beards and mustaches, Goku imagines Vegeta with one of these. The Stinger for that episode is Vegeta sporting more of these in a Voice Clip Song, which later got a live action video with even more of these.
    Goku: Hee.

    Western Animation 
  • Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
  • Family Guy explores literally every stereotype associated with the Porn Stache.
    He's got the kind of facial hair that says "Yeah, I've been naked on camera before, what of it?"
  • Tony Stark in Iron Man: The Animated Series. The mullet doesn't help.
  • The Venture Bros.:
    • Brock Samson has one of these whenever he appears in college flashbacks.
    • Him and Rusty both have them for a brief spell. "What were we thinking?"
  • William Murderface of Metalocalypse. Mainly because he's based off of Geezer Butler, who, as stated above, had one.
  • The Simpsons: stupid sexy Flanders!
  • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
    • One of Twilight Sparkle's spells, see in "Boast Busters", sprouts an impressive mustache on the lip of the subject. As seen in "Magic Duel", it even works on mares.
    • Rarity's father has one naturally. This caused fans to call him "Magnum".
  • Taking its cues from A New Hope, several specimens are seen through the course of Star Wars Rebels, with Admiral Konstantine giving one plenty of screen time.

  • Due to the cross-media nature of the character, it's hard to place him in one category, but several Commissioner James Gordons have boasted mustaches that are very 70s'. While some depictions of the good Commissioner have him appear quite distinguished in a vaguely old-money Southern fashion, several have been given rather porny 'staches over the years. Gary Oldman in the Nolan-era reboot movies is one such salient example.

    Real Life 
  • Actors and media figures:
    • Porn actors: Go figure.
      • Porn star Ron Jeremy, perhaps the most iconic example and probably responsible for the association with porn.
      • John Holmes, the inspiration for Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights.
      • And the original pornstache, Harry Reems. Some even noted the oddness of him not having it in Forced Entry.
    • Freddie Mercury, in the 80's.
    • Ric Romero, consumer reporter for Los Angeles-based KABC-TV and Internet meme extraordinaire.
    • John Stossel, former ABC newsman and host of 20/20—although some might term it an "English gentleman" mustache instead.
    • Ron Howard sported one in the early 1980s. It's shown in all its glory in a 1982 episode of Saturday Night Live he hosted.
    • Critic Gene Siskel of Siskel & Ebert in the 70s. Here's a clip of them reviewing All the President's Men.
    • Geraldo Rivera.
    • Film critic/conservative commentator/self-styled "cultural crusader" who's supposedly led a "controversial life", Michael Medved.
    • Burt Reynolds.
    • Tom Selleck.
    • Richard Pryor
    • Seventies Porn Colin, a 1970s publicity shot of Colin Baker shirtless and sporting one of these, has attained memetic status in Doctor Who fandom.
    • Groucho Marx is arguably the Trope Maker for male actors—even if his 'stache was just painted on.
    • Jeff Dunham used to have one, which he shows in a series of pictures of his rather questionable fashion choices throughout the years.
    • Even the great Christopher Lee had one in the early '70s, which can be seen in Theatre Macabre and Horror Express.
    • The typical simplified graphical representation of Giorgio Moroder is a pair of Cool Shades and his trademark mustache. He even regrew it after his comeback thanks to Daft Punk.
  • Athletes and sports figures:
    • NASCAR has plenty of famous drivers with porn 'staches. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tim Richmond, Neil Bonnett, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarrett, Mike Skinner...
      • But it faded out in a hurry in the 90s, starting with Jeff Gordon's ridiculous attempt at one, and his subsequent shaving of it to create the current clean-cut image favored by most modern NASCAR drivers. Facial hair today is more likely to take the form of full beards, like Jimmie Johnson's eternal five-o-clock shadow (which has been hinted to be there mainly to tick off crew chief Chad Knaus, who reportedly can't stand how it looks).
    • In Formula One the most notorious pornstache is Nigel Mansell's.
    • Mark Spitz, who won seven gold medals in a single Olympic Games.
      • Hilariously, after his medal haul Spitz was approached by a coach from the Soviet team, asking him why he had a mustache. Spitz jokingly replied that it deflected water away from his mouth and effectively made him swim faster; at the next international swim meet he attended the following year, all the male Russian swimmers were sporting mos.
    • Baseball player Jeff Kent's famous facial hair has led to baseball announcers to jokingly refer to impressive or important home runs by Jeff Kent as "money shots".
    • NBA commissioner David Stern had one early in his tenure, clearly evident in archive photos from the '84 draft.
    • Famous mustachioed Yankee player of the 80s and early 90s Don Mattingly and Jason Giambi. Giambi in particular, credited Mattingly as the inspiration for him growing his in 2008. Giambi (known famously for his full beard/long haired look while he was a member of the Oakland Athletics) infamously shaved off his facial hair when he signed with the Yankees in 2002, so his decision to grow a moustache revived his career with the organization and with fans after several years of subpar playing and revelations that he was on steroids for the bulk of his tenure at Oakland. The Yankees later held a "Jason Giambi Mustache Day" in which they gave out fake mustaches as a promotion to get Giambi the final spot on the AL All-Star Team roster. He didn't win the vote, though.
    • George Parros, enforcer of the Anaheim Ducks. He's even earned the nickname "Stache" because of it.
    • Hall of Fame third baseman Mike Schmidt has sported one since his playing days.
    • Two-time Vezina/Conn Smythe/Stanley Cup winning Hall of Fame NHL goaltender Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers had one of the most awe-inspiring examples of the trope in the history of North American professional sports during the 1970s. It's since morphed into a Trustworthy Beard as its owner has aged.
    • Broad Street Bullies-era backup goalie Bobby Taylor was a fairly decent backup for Parent in this area as well. Hockey seemed to raise a bumper crop in those days, with even Taylor cheerfully quipping in the HBO documentary on the team, The Broad Street Bullies, that "we looked like a bunch of porn stars."
    • In fact, the Flyers in particular are no slouches in the pornstached Goalie department, with another Vezina and Conn Smythe coming from netminder Ron Hextall in the 80s.
    • Sportscaster and entertainment reporter Pat O'Brien.
    • Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder.
    • One of the most well-known in the National Football League is Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shahid Khan. When he started for the team, quarterback Gardner Minshew was famous for his 'stache as well.
    • Keith Olbermann alternated between this and clean-shaven from his days as a sports anchor in Los Angeles until midway through his Sports Center tenure, after which he apparently hacked it off for good. Apparently he figured out that the look may work for some people, but it unambiguously does not work for him.
    • Similarly, ESPN's Chris Berman sported one early in his tenure on ESPN and recently decided to give it another try.
    • MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano—especially when it's not fully grown in.
    • Possibly-former Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas.
    • NBA player Adam Morrison is commonly mocked for this (along with his non-presence with the Lakers).
    • Many an Australian cricketer have sported these through the years, including David Boon and Dennis Lillee. More recently, fast bowler Mitchell Johnson had one during the 2013 Ashes test series.
    • WVU punter, Nick O'Toole, whose Porn Stache makes him look 20 years older
    • This may well be why Charlie Brooker chose England goalkeeper David Seaman to star in the imaginary erotic drama Disraeli Nights.
    • Atlanta Braves pitcher Spencer Strider, whose look has proven popular with fans and earned him nicknames such as "Sheriff Strider".
    • MLB All-Star catcher Mike Piazza sported one.
    • The late Swiss kickboxer Andy Hug was as well known for his signature mustache as he is for his legendary run in K-1 and his devastating axe kick. He would shave it near the end of his life, however.
  • Historical and political figures:
    • John R. Bolton.
    • Former Trump Administration lawyer Ty Cobb, lovingly described as a "novelty popcorn salesman" and "typewriter that magically came to life" by Twitter.
    • Not uncommon among European royalty of the 19th and early 20th centuries, with King Umberto I of Italy having one of the most epic Porn Staches of all time.
    • A large number of men on board the RMS Titanic, who have been featured in cinematic adaptations of the sinking and highligh the style of the Edwardian Era. The range from crew members such as Third Officer Herbert J. Pitman, Chief Baker Charles J. Joughin, and White Star Lines Chairman J. Bruce Ismay. This also includes passengers such as Archibald Gracie V and John Jacob Astor IV.
    • Some of his (numerous) detractors argue that the moustache Peter Mandelson used to have looked like one of these. Judge for yourself.
    • And of course, Josef Stalin. He even was nicknamed "Baffone" ("Big Moustache") in Italy.
      • And some of his comrades too, like Vyacheslav Molotov, Lazar Kaganovich and Andrei Zhdanov.
    • Saddam Hussein.
  • Miscellaneous:
    • Günther, the stage persona of Swedish singer Mats Söderlund. His entire act is indeed modeled on bad German porn stars.
    • French Classical Music composer Gabriel Fauré.
    • Don Frye, MMA fighter and the badass Captain Gordon in Godzilla: Final Wars.
    • Friedrich Nietzsche had an uber-pornstache. Although he was celibate like Tesla.
    • British Army lore has it that these are standard issue for the SAS, so the page quote may well be justified. However, considering the skills of a standard SAS soldier, it is a bad idea to mock them for this.
    • Meet The Talking Car, an old children's safety PSA, gives one of these to one of the cars. The car in question seems peculiarly affable towards children, claims to have known quite a few boys and girls "in my day", and adds that they are good.
    • The University of Western Ontario's Science Faculty has a mascot, by the name of Sanchez. Sanchez, cheerfully referred to as "Our King" by the faculty, is a blow-up doll possessing-of course-only the most epic of porn 'staches.
    • Serial killer William Bonin
    • Chris Hadfield, Canadian astronaut and recent commander of ISS for Expedition 35. And yeah I totally picked a doofy picture on purpose. Also kind of Adorkable, sometimes.
  • Michael Collins of Apollo 11 fame. Interestingly, he started his famous mission totally clean shaven and shaved his several-day-old beard into a mustache on the way back to Earth.
  • In the 1980's this sort of moustache became associated with British Special Forces, as a sort of informal badge of membership. Although SAS troopers preferred it if it were described as a Zapato, after the Mexican revolutionary. See Page Quote.
    • In the British Army it's popular amongst all squaddies to grow a tour 'tache when posted overseas.


Video Example(s):

Alternative Title(s): Seventies Porn Moustache


TGPD Tank of Righteousness

For last 14 hours James May is chased in his Ford Fiesta XR2i by Top Gear Police Department (and their mustaches) and only three minutes are parting him from coming winning this challenge. However Richard Hammond (and his mustache) is not done with him yet.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (9 votes)

Example of:

Main / TankGoodness

Media sources: