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"A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended. Because if you just keep going, then eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all of your internal organs out of your sphincter, until only a foul-smelling shell remains, and anyone who wants to get in on your incredibly long poo gets turned off, because they need to have gone through all of the poo up to that point to have the necessary context and this is where the analogy is breaking down somewhat."
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Sometimes, a metaphor is a train, taking you from concept A to concept B, maybe at high speed, maybe derailing, and definitely serving overpriced sandwiches.

There's nothing wrong with using a metaphor to explain the situation, but make sure it doesn't derail on you later. Trying to hold to an established metaphor while including added information that doesn't fit it at all... well, that's sillier than wearing a trash can on your head while artistically comparing two unlike concepts.

In other words, a good comedy trope.

The trope generally follows one of two paths. The metaphor begins with a solid concept but quickly degenerates into a repetition of the actual situation only projected onto the metaphorical concepts. "You can't make an omelette without [something much more unpleasant than breaking a few eggs]" seems to be particularly popular, perhaps because it lends itself well to Black Comedy. It is also possible for the metaphorical concept to distract the speaker so that the metaphor is forgotten.

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Sometimes the character will realise they've spoilt the metaphor and admit they've lost their train of thought, or perhaps they'll try to reconnect the mess they've made back to the original metaphor, which just prolongs the joke further.

Handily Truth in Television. Has a lot of overlap with Dissimile. Compare Derailed Train of Thought, Analogy Backfire, Sidetracked by the Analogy, "Shaggy Frog" Story, Disorganized Outline Speech, I Like My X Like I Like My Y and Mixed Metaphor. Because this often uses realistic diction, it can also subvert Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic. Buffy Speak uses this a lot.


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Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • A PSA for promoting foster parenting:
    Foster father: (consoling post-breakup foster daughter) Honey, dating is like... the stock market. There's highs, and lows... and highs... Um... And... (mumbles) alwaysremembertobuylow...
    Announcer: You don't have to be perfect to be the perfect parent. There are thousands of kids in foster care who would love to put up with you.
  • A mobile phone service promoted their smartphones with this line:
    "It's like having your cake and sending email with it."
  • Norton Internet Security will protect your unicorn from Dolph Lundgren. And your chicken from Dokken.

    Anime and Manga 
  • Azumanga Daioh:
    • In one of the "Supplementary Materials" strips written for the manga's tenth anniversary, Chiyo-Chichi gives Sakaki the following advice: "Keep moving forward. Then turn left at the second corner."
    • In another strip, Osaka compares her heart to a sea. It's big, deep, and has octopuses and stuff in it.
  • Gintama, being a Gag Series, takes this trope and runs with it.
  • In Persona 4: The Animation Yu uses a giant, $35 beef bowl to begin an analogy to relate the need to never give up on their pursuit of a fairly vague goal. Other members of the group pitch in and add to the increasingly narmy metaphor. When it's Yu's turn again, he says, "And my bowl isn't empty yet."
  • In Yellow, Taki and Goh get into an argument about whether Taki or the women who go after him are "like moths to a flame." Amusingly this leads to an attempted kiss on Goh's part and this exchange:
    Taki: What are you doing?!
    Goh: My kiss is like moth balls.
  • In Great Teacher Onizuka, the eponymous Onizuka once described love as "That magical spark between two people that you hope won't start a fire and burn them both to death."
  • Shirokuma Cafe:
    • While talking with Handa, their zookeeper, the pandas comment on how he'd be more enthusiastic at work if he had a girlfriend, to which he responds by saying that, to him, "all the animals at the zoo are like his significant other", producing this exchange:
      Full-Time Panda: Now you sound a like a pure and innocent idol and I don't like it.
      Panda: Yeah. I don't want to hear idol-like phrases like "I don't go to the bathroom." True idols are like us and their poop smells like lemons.
      Full-Time Panda: (sweatdrops) Your conversation is drifting, Panda.
    • Happens again to Panda when he tries, and fails, to console Mama King Penguin about the fact that King penguins are always mistaken for Emperor penguins:
      Panda: Oh, it's not a big deal.
      King Penguin: Huh?
      Panda: They say that life is full of mountain and valleys. Mountains have bamboo. When you're hungry there's bamboo and bamboo grass.
      King Penguin: You piss me off! You totally piss me off! (cue her pecking panda)

    Comic Books 
  • Bookhunter: Agent Bay preps the police for a dragnet, and ends his speech with:
    Agent Bay: It might seem to you that we're grasping at straws. But straws are all we've got left. There is one straw that is going to break this case wide open. Which is why I need each and every one of you to follow your own straw to the bitterest end.
  • What The?! parodying the narration in Man-Thing, describing the swamp:
    "This is where things cease to have names, where they cease to have form, where all that is left is fear and a smell something like what you get when you change a cat's litterbox in a poorly ventilated room. Or like those socks of yours — come on, I know you've got 'em — that stand up by themselves, and you put them on on a really hot day in those shoes that aren't made of leather but out of plastic, and you walk around all day, and then take them off... yeah. Like that. That — and fear."
  • In one Tomorrow Stories Splash Brannigan adventure, the black-as-coal living inkblot Splash fights a white doppelganger. A bystander describes their battle as "Like a black thing and a white thing that are, uh... having a fight."

    Comic Strips 
  • A 1984 installment of Matt Groening's Life in Hell included a few supposed quotations about love by great philosophers from history. They all follow this trope and become increasingly bizarre and ridiculous, finally finishing with this one: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." — Nietzsche
  • In Frazz, Caulfield once asked if life is a journey, and a sled ride is a journey, does that mean that the sled ride is a simile?

    Fan Works 
  • From Calvin and Hobbes: The Series: "OW! Love just pecked my nose!"
    • And from "Wild Movie":
    Calvin: Kinda rolls of the tongue!
    Hobbes: Just like drool.
  • The narrator of Equestria: A History Revealed often forgets the point of her metaphors, or worse, gets lost in her train of thoughts, and continues on with the metaphor as though it was the point itself.
  • In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Hermione has a moment of embarrassment.
    All the blood was rushing back into her face, there probably should've been steam coming out of her ears, which in turn should've been melting off her head with the liquid flesh running down into her neck, as she realized what she'd just blurted out.
  • Lampshaded in the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Troll Fic The Spiderses:
    it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore.
  • In From the Flame to the Spark Sirius refers to fate as both male and female, prompting the following exchange.
    Ginny: Her? I thought we were kicking fate in the balls.
    Sirius: Oh no, that's Destiny. He's the bastard who shags Fate and knocks her up with prophecies, remember?
    Ginny: I think your metaphor took the Knight Bus to Stonehenge.
  • When Twilight notes in Head of a Dog; Tail of a Lion that her status as a Princess demands that she negotiate with the Diamond Dogs for the release of Spike and their other captives rather than simply attacking them, Fluttershy chimes in with the "you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar" adage before timidly admitting that it's actually the other way around. Applejack adds that Sweet Apple Acres cider is really best for the job before Twilight exasperatedly lampshades the whole thing.
  • Sword Art Online Abridged has this example from episode 3's narrator:
    Sir Jack Dapper: And in time, Kirito found that he could almost tolerate [the Moonlit Black Cats], much like a fat man tolerates the tapeworms in his intestines. And like those tapeworms, that guild burrowed deep into his innards, and gorged themselves on his leftovers, until they began causing abdominal pain and diarrhea. I realize the metaphor's breaking down a bit here, but granny Dapper didn't raise no quitters.
  • The New Adventures of Invader Zim has this bit of narration from Episode 2, when Norlock first realizes just how oblivious most humans are to beings like him:
    [He felt] like a wolf among the sheep. Admittedly, a very large wolf among a bunch of sheep who all appeared to be blind and deaf, and probably collectively lacking a sense of smell too… where was he going with this again?
  • Dragon Ball Z Abridged has Broly described by his father as "a trump card, if the card literally turned over the table and shot the other player."
  • A Silent Hill fanfic which is sadly(?) lost for good:
    "OMFG" cried James, flopping in the monster's strong arms like a fish. A fish that was about to be raped.
  • John and Dave Write a Bad Smut Scene: "He was going to fuck him good and hard, and he was going to like it better than the piece of greasy pizza he'd eaten for lunch that afternoon. Piece of ass before piece of pizza, except when it's already occurred."

    Films — Animation 
  • From An Extremely Goofy Movie
    Goofy: Just keep on track, and the world will be your clam.
    Max: Oyster, Dad.
    Goofy: Oh, no thanks. I'm saving room for weenies.
  • Anna from Frozen falls victim to this in the Cut Song "More Than Just The Spare," prompting her to later call herself, "a girl who's bad at metaphors."
    So, I'm the extra button on a coat in case another one comes loose
    But if I have to be a button, why can't I be a button that's of use?
    I may lack style, and I may lack grace
    And once in a while, I fall on my face
    But this little button deserves a place in the sky
    This button wants to fly

    Wait, buttons can't fly! That doesn't make any sense.
  • Megamind and his arch-nemesis Metro Man tend to get lost in cheesy mid-battle banter whenever they fight - so much so that the Damsel in Distress has to remind them to actually do something besides exchanging increasingly bizarre witticisms. The metaphors become redundant through arguments:
    Megamind: Over here, old friend. In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.
    Metroman: You can't trap justice. It's an idea! A belief!
    Megamind: Well, even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!
    Metroman: Justice is a non-corrosive metal.
    Megamind: But metals can be melted by the heat of revahnge!
    Metroman: It's "revenge", and it's best served cold!
    Megamind: But it could be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!
    Metroman: Well, I think your warranty is about to expire!
    Megamind: Maybe I've got an extended warranty!
    Metroman: Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose!
    Roxanne: [groans] Girls, girls! You're both pretty! Can I go home now?

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Balls of Fury has this:
    Ping pong... is not the macarena. It takes patience. She is like a fine, well-aged prostitute... it takes years to learn her tricks. She is cruel, laughs at you when you are naked, but you keep coming back for more, and more! Why? Because she is the only prostitute I can afford!
  • In 28 Days, one of the recovering addicts in the rehab center tries to explain how everyone has to walk their own path.
    There's a time when you can share and you hold hands and be on the same path. But there's always a fork in the road... at some point. And sometimes you have to go on one part of the fork and they gotta go on the other part of the fork. Or just down the back part of the fork while you go forward. And they're like: *sigh* Or they got a salad fork and you have one of the big dinner forks and you have longer to go but they're like done because that's it, they're stuck on a piece of food, that they *sigh*. A dessert fork or like one of those, you know, small little shrimp forks or crab forks and you're trying to get out a crab. They're like that and you're over here jumping to the huge serving fork or something like that, or a ladle, you know.
  • The educational short Drugs Are Like That really doesn't know what the metaphor it's going for is. Drugs are compared to Legos, cookies, swimming, toys, and pacifiers. Then they say that the human body is like a perpetual motion machine that the characters make out of Legos (!!) and that moving one piece causes it to explode — "Drugs are like that!" This is all narrated by Anita Bryant.
  • Hot Shots!:
    Topper: My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but, it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo ... eat apple sauce through a straw ... pork farm animals.
  • Magicians briefly has two spectators muse on the sight of two magicians, who formerly had a successful and well-respected double act going before one slept with the other's wife and the other accidentally decapitated said wife during a trick with a guillotine, reuniting for the first time in four years to perform together:
    Spectator 1: It's like Israel and Palestine.
    Spectator 2: ... Entering a magic competition together.
  • One of the common The Rocky Horror Picture Show callbacks replies to Riff Raff's lines:
    "Say goodbye to all of this..."
    Goodbye, all this!
    "And hello... to oblivion."
    Hi, Oblivion! How's the wife and kids?
    Your wife, my kids!
  • In Animal House, the Dean says:
    It's time someone put his foot down around here, and that foot is me.
  • The 40-Year-Old Virgin tells us how to woo women: You plant a seed, you wait for that seed to grow into a plant, and then you fuck the plant.
  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
    First Hitman: Well now, here we all are. Ike, Mike and Mustard.
    Harry: What the hell does that mean?
    Second Hitman: You know, I'm with him on this one, man. That's pretty fucking obscure.
    First Hitman: Horse shit, I hear that all the time!
    Second Hitman: You do?
    First Hitman: Yeah, sure.
    Second Hitman: Where, at the 1942 club?
    First Hitman: Hey, just 'cause you didn't get in...
    Second Hitman: Motherfucker, I could've gotten in!
    (later)
    First Hitman: You wanna know who we are? I'm the frying pan, see? And my boy over here, he's?
    Second Hitman: Mustard. I'm Mustard, baby.
  • Dennis uses a couple of these in Surviving Eden:
    "Relationships are just like pigs. Feed 'em too much slop, and they'll get too fat. Feed 'em too little, and they'll break up with you."

    (confronting his fiancée, supposedly carrying his child) "Guess what, Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden, you wanna know why? Because Eve wasn't really pregnant!"
  • Back to the Future
    • Pretty much everything Biff Tannen tried in Back to the Future.
      "That makes about as much sense as a screen door on a battleship!"

      "Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?"
    • His future self in Back to the Future Part II actually berates him on this point.
    • Ditto for his great-grandfather Mad Dog Tannen in Back to the Future Part III.
      "I'll hunt you and shoot you down like a duck!"
  • In The Boondock Saints, Doc tells the invasive Russian mobsters to leave, in a possible Shout-Out to the Back to the Future example above:
    "Why don't you make like a tree... and get the fuck out of here!"
    • The bartender and his patrons did this a lot in that scene, though the latter were making fun of the former.
      "People in glass houses sink ships!"

      "A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?"''

      "And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen!"
    • He speaks almost exclusively in these. The hilarity is compounded by his Tourette's.
  • The opening narration of Out Cold has Stumpy comparing Bull Mountain to a woman, then switching over to a discourse on skiing injuries that has nothing to do with women, then ending on a note that would make his soliloquy a good comparison of a woman to the mountain, but making absolutely no sense the other way around.
  • In The Other Guys, after pointing out the flaws in Terry comparing himself to a lion going after a tuna, Allen continues to spin a scenario where the school of tuna build an apparatus that lets them go on land and hunt down the lion's family.
  • From 13 Going On 30:
    Tom-Tom: Okay, you can wipe off the "doe-eyed Bambi watching her mother get shot strapped to the back of a van" look from your face!
  • In The Social Network, Sean Parker uses the metaphor of a fisherman having his photo taken with one big Marlin instead of 15 trout. Eduardo goes into all the technical details, like how much a Marlin could weigh in real life and how strong the fisherman would have to be, while an irate Mark tells him that he's Comically Missing the Point.
  • In Lucky Number Slevin:
    Sloe: You got some ID?
    Slevin: See, the funny thing about that is I got mugged this morning...
    Sloe: (interrupting) Look, look! Tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it off down the road.
    (awkward silence)
  • Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls:
    Ace: I shall slip amongst them, like an unseen... thing!
  • Kill Bill: "...But you're not a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee."
  • In Bucky Larson Born To Be A Star, right after Bucky is told he isn't big enough downstairs to be a porn star, Antonio the diner owner offers to be in porn, saying "I'm hung like a cocker spaniel", at which point Miles Deep, the porn director, says, "A cocker spaniel isn't a big dog." "Yeah, but it's warm, and cuddly, and loyal, and has warm eyes." "Your dick has warm eyes?" "You know what I mean!"
  • The Odd Couple II: Oscar and Felix painfully go through several different metaphors, before Oscar says he can't remember what they started out talking about.
  • Loaded Weapon 1 does this in a battle of wits, then points it out.
    Morters: Where's the microfilm, Mike?
    McCracken: I don't know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men.
    Morters: Act in haste, repent in leisure.
    McCracken: But he who hesitates is lost.
    Morters: Never judge a book by its cover.
    McCracken: What you see is what you get.
    Morters: Loose lips sink ships.
    McCracken: Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting my friend.
    (Mr. Jigsaw consults Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, shakes his head)
  • Dinner for Schmucks:
    Kieran: (after hearing Tim's girlfriend left him) There's not a lot of monogamy in the animal kingdom. Not many animals mate for life. Penguins do. I've spent a lot of time with penguins, and they're really cool. Maybe you're a penguin, Tim, but Julie's not a penguin. She's a lioness! Don't try to mate a lioness with a penguin—ever. Have you ever seen a mammal and a bird mate? I've never even heard of that.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy
    Peter Quill: "Here's the point; [Gamora] betrayed Ronan. He's coming back for her, and when he does, that's when you... (runs a finger over his neck)
    Drax: ...why would I put my finger on his throat?
    Quill: ...Oh, no, this is a...this is a symbol...for you, slicing his throat.
    Drax: I would not slice his throat. I would cut his head clean off.
    Quill: It's a general expression for you killing somebody. (turns to a nearby inmate) You've heard of this, you've seen this, right? You know what that is, right?
  • A Night at the Roxbury:
    Steve: Dad, it's like this. Doug is like a fax machine. You keep putting things in, but if it doesn't have a cover page, people don't know where it's coming from. And sometimes you get a busy signal. That's why you have a memory button, and a redial button... Actually I never use those, I always screw them up.
  • John Lennon does a visual gag in A Hard Day's Night where he pretends to snort a bottle of soda pop, as in "snorting coke" — but it's a bottle of Pepsi!
  • Happy Gilmore goes on a tirade when he can't get the ball to "go home"
    Happy: Son of a bitch ball, why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME!
  • The World's End: "And this time we're going to see it to the bitter end! ...Or lager end."
  • Parodied in the fourth Scary Movie, when the guy who's hiding in a cellar from the aliens tells Tom the metaphor from War of the Worlds that the alien invasion is no more a real war than there is between man and maggots. He continues: there's also no real war between dragons and wolves. And man, riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots. Tom gives the camera a vacant expression in response.
  • The low-budget sci-fi movie R.O.T.O.R. has lots of these, such as "You fire me and I’ll make more noise than two skeletons making love in a tin coffin, brother."
  • What's Up, Tiger Lily? opens with creator Woody Allen explaining why he was approached to do a spy movie:
    "If you know me at all, you know that death is my bread, and danger my butter. Oh no, no, danger is my bread and death is my butter. No no, wait, danger is my bread, ...death, no, death? No, I'm sorry, death is my... Death and danger are my various breads and, and various butters."
  • Earth Girls Are Easy - manicurist Valerie is willing to patch things up with her cheating fiance, but has to put her foot down:
    "A relationship is a lot like a porcelain nail, Ted. You can break it, and you can glue it back together, but it's not going to be as strong as it was unless the person is really committed to not bringing home nurses!"
  • Tony Stark, toward the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming:
    "You screwed the pooch hard, Peter. But then you did the right thing; you took her to the free clinic, you raised her hybrid puppies...okay, that's not the best analogy."

    Literature 
  • In ancient history, a non-comedic version of this is referred to as a "Homeric Simile". This is based on instances in The Iliad and The Odyssey where the narrator starts off comparing two things, then continues into minute details that are seemingly unnecessary. For instance, if someone was feeling happy, the story might say:
    "His joy was as warm as the joy that shipwrecked sailors might feel when they catch sight of land after Poseidon has struck down their well-rigged ship on the open sea with gale winds and crushing walls of waves, with only a few surviving, swimming, struggling out of the frothing surf to reach the shore, their bodies crusted with salt but buoyed up with glee as they plant their feet on solid ground."
  • Tom Holt regularly includes some kind of brutal disjunction of "omelettes and eggs". Did you know that it is possible to make omelettes without shredding chickens, but it doesn't make as good television?
  • This is frequently seen in Discworld novels, due to the extreme literal-mindedness of many of the characters. Sometimes, of course, taking the metaphor a little too far actually works.
    "Time was something that largely happened to other people; [Lu-Tze] viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."
    • The narration of Night Watch has this to say about Vetinari, then a student Assassin: "His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things."
  • From John C. Wright's Fugitives of Chaos
    "...Three decks of balcony and bulkhead were crumpled and staved-in as if a tree had fallen on them. It would have had to have been a redwood tree, I suppose, and made of iron. Perhaps dropped from orbit. Never mind the tree; it looked like a bomb had gone off."
  • In So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, hitchhiking alien Ford Prefect has a dream in which he encounters a new life form emerging from a polluted New York river. When the creature asks him what life is like he responds:
    "Life is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have a half a one for breakfast."
  • Lemony Snicket seems to have an affinity for strange and humorous metaphors of this kind.
    • The Beatrice Letters has, "The day was as cold and bitter as hot chocolate if it had been put in a fridge for several hours and filled with vinegar."
    • In The Penultimate Peril, there is: "Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter."
  • From Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts
    "Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can't get the rock out of the ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it, like you're talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you..."
  • Among the concepts used by the Oulipo, who were basically the Dadaists of the literary world, is the 'pataphor (canonically spelled with the apostrophe). It is described as being like a lizard whose tail has grown so long that the tail breaks off and grows a new lizard. "Look, Bob," said Alice, "what a strange lizard." "Indeed," replied Bob absently, beginning to grow impatient with this interminable safari.
  • From the Eighth Doctor Adventures:
    • "Pleased with his metaphor, Fitz attempted to extend it."
    • Even Anji has been guilty of this. Very guilty.
      "The thing about it was, though, that if you knew there was something to know, and you hadn't been told about it, there was no way you could keep your mind from worrying about what it might be – like a tongue forever probing at an imperfection in a tooth, while you're wondering whether, if you ever pluck up enough courage to go to the dentist about it, it's going to be merely some calcine accumulation that can be simply blasted away, or the sort of root-canal job that leaves you unable to eat for three days for fear of disturbing what feels like three tons of amalgam."
  • Lampshaded by Patton Oswalt in his essay "Dating a Stripper is a Recipe for Perspective" from Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me:
    "But even the sweetest apple plucked from the tree of love can become a rotted, flyblown failure full of disease, maggots, and yelling.
    Yes, when love goes bad, it can fill an apple with yelling."
  • This trope occurs regularly in William Langland's 14th Century Narrative Poem, Piers Plowman, which is famous for its abstruse allegorical method which consistently stretches metaphors way further than their comfortable limits. See, for instance, the explanation of the Trinity as Hand (fingers, palm and fist) and Candle (taper, flame, and wax) in Passus 17 of the B text.
  • In Jeeves and Wooster Bertie sometimes falls into this while narrating. Very Good, Jeeves! gives us this gem:
    "One of the first lessons life teaches us is that on these occasions of back-chat between the delicately-nurtured a man should retire into the offing, curl up in a ball, and imitate the prudent tactics of the opossum, which, when danger is in the air, pretends to be dead, frequently going to the length of hanging out crepe and instructing its friends to stand round and say what a pity it all is."
  • In Kill Time or Die Trying Nathan discourages dating within the club with the saying 'You don't poop where you eat'. He tries to stretch this metaphor to explain to Brad why long-distance relationships are a bad idea, saying 'You don't mail your poop to Bloemfontein either, Brad.'
  • In the Mediochre Q Seth Series, Mediochre has several.
    Mediochre: This whole scene could have stepped out of a cheesy fantasy adventure were it not for the fact that scenes are incapable of stepping anywhere due to severe deficiency in the foot department.
  • Jack's explanation of all the different worlds in Spider Circus becomes this. It's something to do with knitting baskets and wool, and cracks in the wool.
  • A Running Gag in The Reckoners Trilogy is that the narrator, David, is horrifically bad at metaphors, resulting in things like "banana farm for guns," "brick made of porridge," and "ninja alligators." And that's before he starts overthinking them.
    "Megan’s eyes could have drilled holes through... well, anything, I guess. I mean, eyes can’t normally drill holes through things, so the metaphor works regardless, right?"
  • A lot of the humor in Help! My Story Has the Mary-Sue Disease is based on this. For example:
    "Trust that your readers aren’t goldfish. (If they were goldfish, you’d already be world famous for teaching fish how to read and the problems with your writing wouldn’t actually matter anymore, because, holy shit, you taught fish how to read.)"

    Music 
  • From Tim Minchin's beat poem Storm: "I'm becoming aware that I'm staring / I'm like a rabbit, suddenly trapped / in the blinding headlights of vaccuous crap."
  • Bill Bailey revels in this in one of his songs.
    "I was alone/my heart was cold it was a stone/my soul was lonely like a stone/there was no moss! And when I danced I danced alone/Except I did not dance because I was alone/so I did not dance."
    "The snowflake on the eye of the deer/has turned to pus that oozes from an open wound./The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine."
  • Little Tin Frog's "Jennifer" includes the following gem:
    "For a while, you were his style / But we all need a new haircut once in a while / Especially when your old haircut won't sleep with you."
  • Whilst Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus consists of euphemistic metaphors, the entirety of the song seems to be an example of metaphorgotten:
    Wynona loved her big brown beaver
    and she stroked it all the time
    She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
    She might have a porcupine.
  • Jon Lajoie's "MC Vagina" persona is fond of this - in his case, the metaphor usually starts out nonspecific, vague, and blunt, and then moves right into non sequitur as he overexplains it.
    My love is like lightning: it gives girls orgasms. My dick is like an airplane: it gives girls orgasms.
    Yeah, the Eiffel Tower is a lot like my dick: it's big and it stings when soap gets inside the tip.
    My lyrics are like the movie Die Hard with a Vengeance: they're awesome... and Jeremy Irons is a good bad guy.

    Pro Wrestling 
  • The origin of Bryan Danielson and Paul London's tag team, as London was inspired to find a partner after observing dolphin pods but then started ranting about swarms and how they were going to sting Joey Ryan and Scott Lost. When Danielson questioned this, London explained they were Hybrid Dolphins.
  • What Lio Rush had to say about being matched up with the much larger Punisher Martinez in the semis of Ro H's Top Prospect Tournament.
    “At the end of the day, I will chop down the tree, kick his head off and go to the finals.”

    Radio 
  • A Running Gag in Nebulous is that the eponymous professor will take his Technobabble metaphors to breaking point and beyond. For example:
    Nebulous: The whole of the universe is unravelling into a massive coincidence like a badly knit cardigan caught on the wire of coincidence. A whole sleeve has already gone, and now the collar's starting to unravel. Un-knit 1, un-purl 1, un-knit 1, un...I'm drifting..
    Nebulous: Doctor Klench is a chap who came to a crossroads in life and took a turning marked evil. He put his foot to the accelerator and he's not stopping. Not for pedestrians, not for a picnic, not for a toilet break, not- I'm drifting.
    • Interestingly, Professor Nebulous always realizes he's doing it, and stops himself with the remark, "I'm drifting."
  • Frequently played with on Adventures in Odyssey, since TV Genius Eugene interprets all metaphors as Metaphorgotten. For example, when he gets offended when his future father-in-law calls Katrina's engagement ring a "mere trinket."
    Eugene: Trinket?
    Mr. Shanks: Now, no offense, Eugene, but let's call a spade a spade.
    Eugene: Frankly, Mr. Shanks, if I had given Katrina a shovel, then we could call a spade a spade.
  • Almost all of Humphrey Lyttelton's explanations of how "One Song to the Tune of Another" works in I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue do this, and the derail always ends the same way. For example:
    Humphrey Lyttelton: Each member of a team is presented with a song from which the words have been omitted and replaced with the lyrics of a second song from which the tune has been discarded. Still not clear? Try to imagine you have two electric lamps but in one of the lamps the light bulb has failed. You could swap it over for the good one. It doesn't matter why one of them has failed, although it is almost certainly because you bought them cheaply from some dodgy market trader — their light bulbs are certainly good value but they do have a habit of going out if handled badly — they are not built to withstand rough treatment such as putting electricity through them. To be fair they probably work well enough where they come from, some sweatshop in Uzbekistan no doubt, where if the mains supply goes above 7 Volts they classify it as a power surge. Finally, in those places even a dead light bulb is considered something of a luxury compared with what they normally have. I know what you are thinking—what could possibly be more dim than a dead light bulb? At the piano we have Colin Sell.
  • Marcus Brigstocke gives us the Tax Cake.
  • Ryan Packer as played by Marcus Brigstocke in Think the Unthinkable does this all the time, usually in a way that leaves him accidentally insulting himself. For example, a "square peg in a round hole" metaphor ends with him asking the audience to think of him as a large round hole.

    Stand-up Comedy 
  • Aziz Ansari has a bit on his special Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening, talking about how a immigrant doctor friend of his was able to bypass the greencard process by going to Alabama, which is an "underserved" state.
    "I was like, whoa, that's kind of a weird deal. The government's like, "Oh yeah, you can come to the United States! C'mon, c'mon! Yeah, you, c'mon, c'mon!...but you gotta go to Alabama". It's kinda like a girl going "Yeah, you can see me naked, but you can only look at my left elbow. And my left elbow is racist."
    • Another one, from Dangerously Delicious:
      "When does Harris play dirty in life? I can only think of one instance: It's when he's playing Halo. 'Cause as soon as the board starts, he always knows where the rocket launchers are, and he grabs them and starts blowing everybody up. It's fucked up, he does this shit every time, it's why I don't play Halo with him anymore. Now, I'm sure there's some people here that have never played Halo, and that doesn't make any sense, so I will give you an analogy, OK? It'd be as if you were playing Monopoly, right? And someone rolled a 10, and landed on Park Place, and Harris came in with a rocket launcher and blew everybody up."
  • Eddie Izzard has a bunch of these.
    • His bit about romance among beekeepers? "I like my women how I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES!"
    • Followed later by "I like coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong. ...With a spoon in them."
    • As well as another Izzard comment on beekeeping:
      "My father was a beekeeper, his father was a beekeeper before him, and I wanted to follow in their footsteps. And those footsteps went like this: 'AAAAAAAAAAAH I'm covered in beeeeeees! HELP!'"
  • Comedian Lewis Black on his Red White and Screwed tour would like you to share his outrage about Bill Clinton's marital infidelity:
    Lewis Black: Is oral sex adultery? Yes! There is no fucking question! If curling is an Olympic sport, then oral sex is adultery! And oral sex should be an Olympic sport! Why? Because it's harder than curling, and if you're any good at it, you deserve a medal!
  • The old Yakov Smirnoff joke, "Russian men have a saying: 'Women are like buses...' That's it."
  • Michael Loftus compared marriage to apple pie like so:
    "And I like apple pie! I can eat a lot of apple pie. But after seven years of apple pie, apple pie, apple pie... I want to bang an Asian girl."

    Theatre 
  • From Passing Strange: "...They mimic the phallo-centric narrative of 'verse, chorus, verse, chorus, climax, fade out, smoke a cigarette, turn over, snore all night and never call me again—'"
    • "You know, absence really does make the heart grow into a state of mind which somehow transforms what you once could not stand about your family into a somehow quaint pleasure-giving construct."
  • The other thing Our American Cousin is famous for.
  • Cyrano de Bergerac: The baker Ragueneau, obsessed with poetry, tries to combine poetry with cooking when talking to the cooks at his bakery. Of course, the cooks don't understand anything he says:
    Ragueneau: (ceasing to write, and raising his head) Aurora's silver rays begin to glint e'en now on the copper pans, and thou, O Ragueneau! must perforce stifle in thy breast the God of Song! Anon shall come the hour of the lute!—now 'tis the hour of the oven! (He rises, and addresses a cook) You, make that sauce longer, 'tis too short!
    The Cook: How much too short?
    Raguenau: Three feet. (he moves further into the kitchen)
    The Cook: What means he?
    First Pastry-Cook: (showing a dish to Ragueneau) The tart!
    Second Pastry-Cook: The pie!
    Raguenau (standing before the fire) My muse, retire, lest thy bright eyes be reddened by the fagot's blaze! (To a cook, showing him some loaves) You have put the cleft o' th' loaves in the wrong place; know you not that the caesura should be between the hemistiches? (To another, showing him an unfinished pastry) To this palace of paste you must add the roof... (To a young apprentice, who, seated on the ground, is spitting fowls) And you, as you put on your lengthy spit the modest fowl and the superb turkey, my son, alternate them, as the old Malherbe loved well to alternate his long lines of verse with the short ones; thus shall your roasts, in strophes, turn before the flame!
  • Lampshaded in the "Ireland Reprise" from Legally Blonde, where Paulette sings:
    You go and fight for him!
    The Irish fear nothing and no one,
    they keep fighting 'til everyone's dead!
    I don't know where this metaphor's going;
    I just felt that it had to be said.
  • For the Avenue Q song "The More You Ruv Someone":
    Christmas Eve: Love!
    Kate Monster: Love!
    Christmas: And hate!
    Kate: And hate!
    Christmas: They like two brothers!
    Kate: Brothers!
    Christmas: Who go on a date!
    Kate: Who... what?
  • Detective Bramley in the Fractured Fairy TaleSe7en Dwarfs is a master of this:
    "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, and that's what White did. She smashed the eggs of crime to make the omelette of justice. Me, I just put the eggs in the pan still in their shells, and kind of bashed them around a bit without breaking them...you can't make an omelette that way, it's quite true...I just got sort of...hot eggs..."

    "You always were the sharp one, White! You were the knife cutting through the butter of crime, and I was...I was the spoon, still useful, but...not as good at cutting..."''
  • Lampshaded in Urinetown, where Hope points out that the metaphor of "Don't Be the Bunny" is getting a bit strained:
    Hope: A little bunny at the tollbooth?
    Cladwell: You heard me.
    Hope: But, Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars.
    Cladwell: Oh, don't they?!
  • Two examples appear in Gretchen's verse of "Meet the Plastics" in Mean Girls the musical:
    "If Regina is the sun, then I'm a disco ball
    Cause I'm just as bright and fun, if you've had alcohol."

    "Regina is the queen, but I'm the head of worker bees.
    As I am seated at her right hand like a Jewish Princess Jesus."

    Web Animation 
  • Homestar Runner has: "If I had to choose a word to describe myself, that word would be 'Fluffy Puff Marshmallows'. Or Homestar. Either one, really. They both fit!" Strong Bad's attempt to compare emails to fish also counts.
  • Zero Punctuation: Given Yahtzee's love of strange metaphors, this trope was bound to show up occasionally.
    • This comprises almost the entire Zero Punctuation at The Escapist preview movie.
    • His bizarre metaphors also extend to the articles he writes alongside his reviews:
      (On the Mortal Kombat remake) "I've made no secret of my feeling that one of the biggest recurring problems in the games industry is a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. Development teams being too big, perhaps the industry as a whole being too big, with none of the cooks taking any personal responsibility for the broth so you end up with a lot of gluey unseasoned broth that is just about inoffensive enough to be palatable to mainstream broth audiences but isn't exactly getting five star write-ups in Broth Monthly. And almost inevitably there'll be a few cooks who want to be able to pad their resume and perhaps one day join a better broth making corporation that will let them have creative control of the broth, so they put a lot of effort into polishing the carrots that are their sole responsibility, and then everyone feels like they have to make the carrots float to the top all the time and show off how well polished they are, but the broth isn't supposed to be about the carrots so I just get kind of put off by the way these carrots are being pushed in my face while I'm trying to enjoy the beef cubes and the radishes. I think this is already the best metaphor I've ever written."
    • It's also used during the review of Splinter Cell: Conviction.
    • From the Saints Row 2 review:
      "It's pure mindless fun, like wrestling an excitable dog in a paddling pool full of disembodied breasts. *beat* Don't think too much about that simile, I certainly didn't."
    • From the Dark Void review:
      "I wonder if the Geneva Convention covers torturing metaphors."
    • From his Skyrim
      "I'll applaud [Skyrim's faults] if it means we can have less games that treat me like a child stuck in a pipe, games industry. I will applaud it as hard as you like. I will slap at my palms until my future children suffer masturbation guilt. No, I don't know what I'm on about. Go away."
    • From his Kinect Review:
      "And while I was able to deduce that the Microsoft Kinect would be a crap gaming system simply by using my magnificent brain, I recently picked one up anyway because Pope Urban VIII probably thought he was very clever when he condemned Galileo; but who got the last laugh there? Well, he did, when Galileo died in poverty and dishonor. But what I'm saying is that I'm basically like the Pope."
    • From his review of Ghostbusters: The Video Game:
      "Just like in Gears of War, we'll need to be resurrected by an ally. So on top of all the aforesaid combat blindsiding issues, I have to break off the fight now and again to do the retard roundup. It's like keeping plates spinning, in the middle of a mosh pit... and the plates won't shut the fuck up."
    • Also his review of Gravity Rush:
      "The first press cancels your gravity and puts you into hover mode, the second picks a new gravity. It's like having to stop the car and put it in neutral before you can change gear. And your car dresses like a whore."
    • From his review of Assassin's Creed III:
      "Hey America... people who live in glass houses... should probably get around to closing Guantanamo Bay one of these days..."
    • And from his review of Infamous Second Son:
      "Still, the range of elemental powers on display are pretty creative, although the word "elemental" is getting stretched like a mozzarella bumhole at the novelty sausage gala— what am I on about?"
    • From his review of Quantum Conundrum, when talking about the glove that lets you switch between alternate dimensions:
      "It's kind of like a glove-mounted cocktail dispenser except it alters the physical properties of things other than your own legs. There's the piña colada dimension, where everything is light and fruity; the Black Russian dimension, where things sit much more heavily and you start clutching your head complaining about your ex-wife; the absinthe dimension, where everything floats off into the sky to come crashing apocalyptically down the following morning; and the slow motion dimension, where this analogy kind of breaks down."
  • FreedomToons: "The Fable of Jordan Peterson" at one point parodies Jordan Peterson's use of archetype and metaphor to express meaning and life lessons.
    Jordan Peterson: You think she's telling the truth? Yeah, sure. Just like Little Red Riding Hood, walking down a path to grandma's house... but then it turns out, it's not grandma... it's The Big Bad Wolf... and he gobbles you up! ...and that's how you get Nazi Germany.

    Webcomic 

    Other 
  • Entries for the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest frequently contain these. As do Lyttle Lytton Contest entries.
    • For example the 2003 winner:
    They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ...Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently.
  • In a newspaper, when asked about his cancelled quiz show The Rich List, Andrew O'Keefe came out with this gem, comparing it to his other show: "The Rich List is like a dear cousin sadly taken before its time, never to return I'm afraid. Unlike Deal or No Deal, which is like the bachelor uncle who shows up to every family function without fail and drinks everything in sight and gets all the kids dancing and hyper before taking off into the night in his '65 Mercedes convertible which could use a little TLC."
  • The Style Invitational column in the Washington Post twice challenged its readers to submit "painfully bad" analogies. Notably torturous entries included:
    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 mph.
and
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    Real Life 
  • Older Than Feudalism as it is warned against in one of the oldest books dealing with tropes, Quintilian's Institutes of Oratory (ca. 95 CE):
    It is all-important never to mix your metaphors, for there are many orators who, after beginning with a tempest, will end with a fire or a falling house, with the result that they produce a hideously incongruous effect.
  • Tim Schafer is really good at this. Since this is really long, just click here and read the first question and answer.
    Coming back to the genre has been like finding an old jacket in a box in your garage that you haven’t worn in twenty years, but once you shake the dust off and put it on you realize it's an amazing jacket and it still fits, and once you patch the holes in the pockets it could easily take a spot in your main jacket rotation.

    Oh, and also, in one of the pockets was three and a half million dollars.
  • Famously:
    George W. Bush: "Fool me once, shame on... shame on... you? Fool me, ya can't get fooled again."
  • John McCain dropped his analogy right in the middle of saying it when asked if Bill Clinton was an appeaser towards North Korea:
    McCain: If it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's appeasement.
  • To quote a gem from a 2011 article on the bankruptcy of Borders Group Inc.:
    “The superstores were viewed by the independent bookstores as dinosaurs that came to kill them — and they did,” said Al Greco, a book publishing expert and professor of marketing at Fordham University's Graduate School of Business Administration. “Today, it looks like the big bang has hit and now the dinosaurs are in peril.”
  • Dissociated Press is a way of generating reams of metaphorgotten prose.
  • German Communist Thälmann (active during the Weimar Republic) was infamous for this. One of his (translatable) goofs: "The hour of the moment has arrived!"
  • Jon Stewart's tribute to Bruce Springsteen at the Kennedy Center Honors; "I believe that Bob Dylan and James Brown had a baby. Yes! And they abandoned this child...as you can imagine at the time...interracial same-sex relationships being what they were..."
  • An online commenter, explaining how vaginas are a valuable commodity:
    "The girls, of course, have been trained to think that they can get away with just about anything as they possess the magic “V” which has a very high trading component as well as a social exchange rate, not unlike the Euro or an open ocean oil exploration license, but the magic “V” is more mobile and comes with its own carrier and operator, batteries not included, though."
  • German politician Edmund Stoiber is infamous for this. Plenty of YouTube videos are dedicated entirely to his derailing metaphors that start weird and go from there.

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