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Funny / RiffTrax — Live Shows

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Funny moments from the RiffTrax live shows.

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    Live Shows 1 - 10 

1. Plan 9 from Outer Space

  • From the short, Flying Stewardess:
    Bill: The captain would like to thank you for keeping the plane snake-free.
    Kevin: Hi, Bob Executive! Which way is Business?
  • During Johnathan Coulton's song of "re: Your Brains" Kevin stands behind him and acts like a hungry zombie during every chorus.
  • From the film (This may include riffs from the Video On Demand versions):
    • During the overture:
      Mike: And here we go, with the Citizen Kane of bad movies.
      Kevin: I thought this was the Caddyshack 2 of bad movies.
      Bill: I thought Howard the Duck was the Caddyshack 2 of bad movies.
    • Criswell introduces himself.
      Criswell: Greetings, my friends.
      Bill: What up, Cris!
      Criswell: (...) And remember my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
      Bill: But, that's all in the past!
    • Mike's eloquent soliloquy for Tor Johnson that ends with "Time for go to bed!"
    • When Eros hits Tanna during the aliens' Motive Rant and she interrupts:
      Kevin: This is my bullshit lecture!
  • Lugosi spreads his cape:
    Mike: "I shall become...a bat!" (Beat) "Aw, Hell; that used to work."
  • During the scene where Eros has a tantrum about the heroes' "stupid minds", the guys start cracking up.
  • The ending with Criswell talking about how anyone you see could be an alien in disguise with the joke, "Kill them just to be sure".

2. Christmas Shortstravaganza

  • Just about everything out of the mouth of "Weird Al" Yankovic during his guest appearance both before and during the short.
  • All three of the old commercials that comprise the gifts the trio got for each other that year.
  • From A Christmas Dream:
    Kevin: [as a fan begins blowing papers around] No! My manuscript about a sparkly boy vampire and the dull girl obsessed with him! [Beat] Who would want to read that?!
  • The discussion about Larrynote  during Parade of Aquatic Champions.
    Mike: Larry's friend Scooter paid him 8 bucks to wear his sister's swimsuit!
  • Kevin going "WHOA!" in response to Santa telling Rudolph, "I need you tonight," during the final short set off a chain reaction of laughter so long that the riffers missed three lines as a result.

3. Reefer Madness

  • Kevin going insane and running around the stage wearing a fancy headdress at the end of the At Your Fingertips: Grasses short.
    • The very question of, "Is corn grass?" sets up a Running Gag that continues to be used in live shows to this day.
  • From the movie, the Running Gag of Jack being a Big Eater.

4. House on Haunted Hill (1959)

  • The Running Gag of Watson Prichart being a leprechaun.
  • Mike's Paul Lynde impression as Templeton from the animated adaptation of Charlotte's Web.
  • Mike's prolonged, "Llllllllllladies~" as Lance approaches Annabelle got the biggest laugh of the night.
  • After one too many bad puns, Kevin is fired right on stage and they bring Paul F. Tompkins in as his replacement. Only Paul's riffs are so bad they fire him right away and bring Kevin back.
    • Of course that doesn't stop them from telling Kevin, "Tompkins is waiting in the wings!" after another bad pun later on and the camera pans to show Paul waiting to strike.

5. Jack the Giant Killer

  • The pre-show cards. A few from Jack the Giant Killer included "Movie Mistakes" (Zookeeper starring Kevin James), "Real Life Giant Killers" (David - Goliath), "Only in the Movies" (Could a woman who is beautiful, intelligent, and fun have difficulty finding a relationship, because she is "kinda clumsy"), Movie Anagrams (Blil Plluman - Bill Paxton), and Movies that Netflix Puts on Instant Watch Instead of RiffTrax (Cool Dog).
    • The all-time best is the one where they finally answer an open question from the previous year's show: yes, corn is grass.
  • The pre-movie short What is Nothing? mostly involves two children quietly, almost grimly musing about the nature of nothingness and nonexistence. When one of them lets go of his balloon...
    Bill, as the balloon: "Thank God, I'm free! I'm gonna go play with some happy kids!"
  • At Jack the Giant Killer, the constant jokes about "seizing the bone."
  • Shmorky's animated short before the main show, an animated representation of the thoughts of Lowtax's daughter Lauren. It's hilarious.
  • King: Let's see this giant of yours.
    Bill: GAH! I thought this was a family show!
  • Kevin, joined in by Mike and Bill, singing to the theme. They did it so well Bill exclaimed, "Take that, Book of Mormon!"
  • After Jack has saved the princess by killing a giant, his mother runs up to see what's going on, pushing her way past a few soldiers. Jack introduces the king of Cornwall...
    Jack: "Mother... this is the King!"
    Kevin (as Jack's mother): "Oh, you mean the guy you call an inbred lunatic?"
  • As a sea monster rises up out of the surf...
    Bill:"Uh oh, tentacles! Hide your Sailor Moon characters."

6. Manos: The Hands of Fate

  • In Manos: The Hands of Fate:
    • The pre-show cards for Manos: The Hands of Fate includes the following haiku that sums up Transformers: Dark of the Moon:
      No no no no no
      No no no no no no no
      No no no no no
    • This movie quote:
      "You cowards! You're all cowards! I'm takin' my shirt off and you're going to have to tranq me to stop me!" The Wiggles Movie: The Magical Adventure
    • Movie Mistakes: Sam Worthington
    • We lied and we're actually going to show King Ralph instead. (next card) We still haven't decided out whether that would be better or worse.
    • Did You Know?: A new Pixar movie came out this summer. Yeah, apparently it was called Brave.
    • There will be a Lost movie that explains all the things the show left hanging. It will be 36 hours long.
  • In the short beforehand, "Welcome Back, Norman", the title character accidentally leaves a briefcase on top of his car. The next few minutes are just basically buildup until the inevitable happens, and the riffers joke about it. Then, Norman, while trying to make his way out of the parking lot, looks out the window, looks up in the exact direction of where the briefcase is...and doesn't even notice it. And the short doesn't even acknowledge this.
    Kevin: (in disbelief) OH, WHAT THE HELL?!
    • Later, after the inevitable flinging of the briefcase from the car, Kevin says as Norman, "Oh, so that is what that large, brown oblong box on top of my car was!"
    • Another Running Gag was Norman's "Catchphrase", a deep, soul-sucking sigh, "Uhhhhhhhhn."
    • At one point, the Crew invites the audience to close their eyes while Norman grunts while trying to get in his car.
  • A couple of memorable moments from the "At Your Fingertips: Cylinders" short that also was shown beforehand:
    Kevin: Yes, but they still haven't answered whether cylinders are grass or not!
    Mike: Call-Back!
    • One of the items being made out of cylinders is a horse, which results in a crack about making a Catherine the Great to go underneath the horse.
    • Bite my shiny cardboard ass!
    • "Why did you build me with a fear of heights?!"
    • Poking holes in a tube with paper at the end makes it "a planetarium". "DOES IT?!"
  • Bill ordered a pizza, Mike and Kevin feared he ordered from Torgo's again, but he assured them he ordered Giovanni's. It arrives... being delivered by Torgo (played by Manos 2 Torgo Rupert Munch). He is berated by The Master from Manos 2.
    The Master: You have failed us Torgo. For this you must die!
    Torgo: Not again...
    • After the show, a parody of Take It Easy sung by Torgo and featured clips from both Manos: The Hands of Fate and Manos 2: The Search for Valley Lodge. Here it is in all its glory.
  • There's a brief 30 second 70's television ad promoting California prunes so bizarre, it had the entire audience in stitches as well as the crew without a single riff being uttered.
    • They did, however, frequently cry out "No!" in disgust when the man in the ad poured yet another glass of prune juice, as well as expressing their disbelief.
    Mike: This guy's my hero!
    • They also wondered why the prune company, in order to advertise a healthy lifestyle, hired a "weathered looking Orville Redenbacher wannabe" as the spokesman.
    Bill: Mike, you sold us out to Big Prune!
  • The White Trash Twilight Sketch. At the end, Kevin and Bill took a bow to thunderous applause.
  • Mike's Ask a Stupid Question... response to Bill's question of whether this is, in fact, Manos the Hands of Fate.
    Mike: No, actually this is a different Manos: a delightful Pixar film- of course it's Manos: The Hands of Fate!
  • The Manos behind the scenes commentary from the DVD version of the show has several:
    • Mike, Kevin and Bill are completely flabbergasted at how much they rehearsed the wrestling sequence.
    • The moment that makes the whole thing worth viewing: Seeing the Master in his civvies and the conversation between him and the director they come up with.
    • When director Hal Warren's face suddenly appears in close-up, they all scream.
      Bill: I am the great and powerful Hal!
      Mike: Pay no attention to the overexposed man!
      Kevin: He actually looked a little bit like Elrond from the first Lord of the Rings.
  • During one of the many times The Master shows off the hand designs on his cloak.
    Mike: "Take away 8 of those fingers, and you have my opinion of this movie."
    Bill: "Two thumbs up?"

7. Birdemic

  • The theater cards had some of these winners:
  • The return of Beleaguered Bureaucrat Norman and his depressing misadventures in a hotel in Norman Checks In. Unnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhh.
    • After the horrifying sight of Norman lathering up in the shower (the reaction to which is a CMOF itself), Bill makes a Running Gag out of referring to Norman soaping up his crotch with various colorful euphemisms...until he calls his junk a "Spirit of St. Louis", which, as Mike points out, doesn't even make sense as a phrase. Bill tells the audience "you know what I'm talking about" and Mike insists that they don't.
    • It becomes a Brick Joke during the movie itself: when Rod and Nathalie are being attacked by birds in their hotel room, the crew states this will be just the time for Norman to step out naked and lathered with soap again.
    • As the camera pans across the wreckage of Norman's hotel room, the 'Mona Lisa' that had been hanging on the wall is now on the bed in place of Norman:
    Kevin: Oh, Mona, you cruel, savage bitch! What did you do!?
  • Bill whips out a Nintendo DS during the opening driving scene, insisting, like a kid on a road trip, that playing Mario Kart will make the drive go faster. He gets reprimanded by the other riffers. This is funny enough...and then Bill attempts to make a Brick Joke out of this when the kids in the movie randomly start playing a PSP. The joke goes as usual until Bill mispronounces it PCP. Mike, Kevin and the audience lose it.
    "PCP"...yeah, we'll need it to get through this!
    • Followed by a meta example with Bill posting on his Twitter to ask people to stop telling him that Mario Kart isn't even a PCP game.
  • From a line only found in the live show (but good enough to be reprised the following year in Night of the Living Dead!):
    Mike: Guys, if they pass a sign for the Valley Lodge, I'm leaving.

8. Starship Troopers

  • The tradition of pre-show cards continues:
  • "So what are you doing after prom?" "Matt Dillon and Neve Campbell."
  • This got the longest, hardest laugh:
    Rasczak: I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better.
    Mike: Ah, my wedding vows.
    • In second place: "Oh no! RAID!!!"
  • The Running Gag about Dizzy being an extreme Yandere and Stalker with a Crush on Johnny, and Johnny treating her as a disposable "second choice" (and the inevitable First Girl Wins).
  • The Running Gag about the increasing Anvilicious commentary about Carl's SS uniform and Putting on the Reich.
    • "Just in case you're still not getting it, his lines are all in German now."
    • "Even I get the heavy-handed Nazi imagery, and I'm Denise Richards!"
  • The "Gorillagrams" meant to provide a distraction during the nude scenes.
  • The comment on Dean Norris of all people being in this thing as an officer.
    Rico: I wanted to win, sir!
    Bill: Well that just breaks my bad.
    • His whole scene, after Rico's squadmate gets shot, is priceless:
      Officer: Are you rated to repair the Mk. III tactical helmet, Rico?
      Kevin: And did you design the helmet with an open face so it wouldn't have saved him anyway?
      Officer: Alright... we'll try administrative punishment.
      Bill: Bring out the gimp!
  • When Carmen points out the ship she'll be piloting, docked just off the moon: "Uh, Denise, that's the moon, honey. You won't be flying it."
  • "David Cronenberg's A Bug's Life."
  • "SMILE-TRON 3000 ACTIVATED."
  • Everyone breaking the news to Denise Richards that she'll be the worst Bond girl ever.
  • "I'll never forget how I settled for you..."
  • "She wants the D...-list actor."
  • "I can fit an entire tuna can in my mouth!"
  • "You have 20 minutes." "So... two minutes of sex and eighteen minutes of tearful apologies?"
  • On a field full of bug corpses:
    Bill: This is what happened every time I played SimAnt. I wasn't very good."
  • "Good thing our guns holds 200 bullets!....I mean, 500 bullets!....ONE THOUSAND BULLETS!"
  • "AT&T: Still dropping your phone calls in the future."
  • "80% of the rest of the script will consist of MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!" *character drops said line* "EIGHTY PERCENT!!!"

9. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

  • The Caption Contest winners for a still from Night of the Living Dead:
    • "And this is what happens, kids, to anyone who twerks.
    • "Subway... Eat Flesh!"
    • "Steve, The Other White Meat"
  • The pre-show cards were again in force:
  • Before showing the film, they note that the film established the rules of the zombie genre:
    Mike: It sort of let you know what the zombie powers are, like you can fly, and shoot fire unexpectedly.
    Kevin: No, you're thinking of R2-D2.
    Mike: Oh right right. Something about midichlorians.
  • The crew get the riff that Ben resembles Barack Obama quickly and out of the way.
  • The many Running Gags about Barbara's Heroic BSoD (mumbling about candy and such), Harry's constant seething rage at everything, and Karen identifying herself as Mrs. Cooper (which also inevitably leads to a Hangin' with Mr. Cooper reference.)
    • However, when Barbara starts talking nonstop about her brother's death, Mike ponders if the first sign of zombie infection is Chewing the Scenery.
  • When Karen kills her mother:
    Mike: The logical conclusion to the Honey Boo Boo saga!
    • Also, "She's been spade!" is one of the best puns ever delivered at a RiffTrax event.
  • Mike's voice for a police dog near the end—"Rut? Rombies?!"—causes Bill to lose it for about thirty seconds.
  • In a case of Accidental Innuendo, there's a segment where a local police chief is being interviewed on TV, and he mentions how he and his posse ran into a bunch of ghouls, but they were able to "beat them off". Big laughs followed as Mike, Kevin and Bill interpret that phrase a bit differently and it's off to the races.
    • Also: "Thousands of people are dying but this guy's having a great time!"
  • Outside with the zombies: "'Cause this is Thriller — Ralph, you're not even trying! Come on!"
  • The opening short is Norman Gives a Speech, and the riffers lead into it with an Audience Participation UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH-along. (The key is to have it come from a place of utter despair.)
  • "Say what you want about the zombies, but at least they're not Instagramming pictures of their food!"
  • The riffers concluding that Ben and Harry are suffering from Belligerent Sexual Tension.
    Bill: Can't you two see that you're in love with each other?!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

  • From the pre-show Trivia Slide background songs: Grandma Cooked the Dog.
  • Snoopy from the Santa Claus and the Fairy Snow Queen short evokes a lot of memories of Mr. B Natural. Her laugh gets a lot of mileage, too.
    Mike: (Imitating Snoopy when she sees the toy soldier.) Your hat is obviously Compensating for Something! Nyehehehehehehe!
  • Mimicking the jack-in-the-box and his horribly nasal voice.
    Bill: How romantic, when your final moment together is cemented with the words- (mimics the jack-in-the-box) LAST KISS!
  • Renaming Chochum as Gandalf the Green.
    • On that note
      Chochum: What time of year is it?
      Kimar: It's the middle of Septober.
      Kevin: (as Chochum) I thought it was Febuly!
    • Also, while Chochum is describing Christmas to the Martian counsel:
      Bill: (as Chochum) All the Chinese restaurants are full of Jews!
  • The "Lower landing legs!" segment.
  • During the scene with Torg:
    Kimar: Torg! Come out of the space ship! Torg! Come! Out! Of! The! Space! Ship!
    Bill: Torg, go!
    (Kevin starts singing Torgo's theme and doing a dance version of Torgo's walk).
    Bill: No, no, no, go back in your own movie!
    Mike: (as Torgo) YoU CaLLeD mE?
    Bill: AWAY!
    (Crowd bursts into thunderous applause.)
    • Followed by "Alex Trebek's Funeral March" when Torg first appears on screen.
      Bill: He was in Double Jeopardy!!
  • Turning all of Billy's dialogue in the first half of the film to, "Come on, Betty! No, wait a minute!"
  • Mike's "Screw them" riff after Santa is assured that the elves would be unfrozen eventually.
  • "Diabeetus!"
  • Pretty much everything in the mind-meltingly bizarre short "Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen", from Snoopy (the new Mr. B Natural) to the Candy Lion ("I can eat candy!")
    • The Candy Lion gets a Call-Back in the main movie, when a character's downing food pills with sweet flavors. "I can eat candy, too!" "Get out of here, Candy Lion!"
  • Not visible to the people outside of the actual show, but after Bill flubs several lines he falls to his hands and knees and tries to crawl away from the stage while Mike and Kevin stop riffing and drag Bill back to his feet.
  • Near the end of the movie, when everyone's saying their goodbyes. Kimar and Momar wish Santa luck and all that as he heads back to Earth.
    Santa: And I wish you...
    Bill: (as Santa) had not kidnapped me.
  • Bill being creeped out when the German-accented Wernher von Green talks about a "final phase"
  • When Droppo is discovered on the ship and begins messing with the controls:
    Mike: "Oh, Droppo, you lovable scamp, you've doomed us all!"

    Live Shows 11 - 20 

11. Sharknado

  • The pre-show cards continue to be a hoot:
  • They replay A Case of Spring Fever before the film.
    • The fact that the guy who wished for springs to disappear, only for them to come back, and for him to talk nonstop about springs to his buddies while golfing. Implying, among other things, that he talked about springs for the entirety of their hours long car ride to the course.
      Bill: COILY IS YOUR GOD NOW.
    • Coily's introduction:
      Coily: "The name's Coily: Coily the Spring-Sprite they call me!"
      Kevin: "I am the one true GOD!"
  • The very first scene is of sharks being sucked into tornadoes. The trio expresses their surprise:
    Kevin: Well. Guess we're not wastin' any time, are we?
    Mike: That's right, no pussyfooting around with plot or character, get right to a tornado jammed full of sharks.
    Bill: You guys want story? Go read Judy Blume or something. Nothing but shark mayhem for us, baby!
  • The Running Gag at early on in the film when characters refer to Fin as some of Ian Ziering's fellow Beverly Hills, 90210 cast members, including Tori Spelling.
    • Reaches Brick Joke status at the end of the sequel too.
  • Many comments on the horrible continuity:
    Bill: (shot of a completely calm day on a sunny beach) Meanwhile, ten feet away from the hurricane-slash-shark attack.
  • Mike's increasing Sanity Slippage at a tissue caught in Fin's windshield wipers.
  • As a white Bronco passes by in one shot: "Hey, O. J."
  • Having a character named April in the movie made this joke inevitable:
    Fin: April! April!
    Bill: The ninja turtles are in trouble! We need ya!
  • As the main characters head into a liquor store: "Look out, gin. Tara's home!"
    • Tara gets mocked a lot, and every time it's hilarious. "Oh, look, she's trying to act! How sweet!"
    • "She hasn't been the same since Uwe Boll stopped returning her calls."
    • She does get one moment though by kicking a dolly with a chainsaw over to Fin and Bill exclaims, "Welcome to Taradise, bitches!"
  • When the survivors find a functional helicopter.
    Matt: Semper Paratus!
    Mike: That's Latin for "I couldn't get into the Marines!"
  • When some sharks are raining down on a retirement home, and one lands in a pool where an old man is floating near the edge.
    Mike: (as the old man) Finally, sweet death is upon us! (grabs old woman and pulls her in) Come on, Ester!
  • At the end, when Fin is cutting his way out of the shark that swallowed him:
    Bill: That's not really him. It's just another chainsaw-wielding guy that got eaten by a shark.
    Kevin: Fingers crossed for Bruce Campbell!
    (The audience goes nuts.)

12. Godzilla

  • The show debuted the new RiffTrax bumper, which included, among other things, Na'vi being chased by Gargamel holding a butterfly net and Edward Cullen being staked by The Mighty Thor; as a Mythology Gag, a shot of the Satellite of Love can briefly be seen. The intro included a new song by Jonathan Coulton and animated by Harry Partridge.
  • The pre-show cards included:
  • The biggest laugh came from when Nick buys pregancy tests from a clerk. The scene is strikingly familiar.
    Broderick: Do you have any at-home pregnancy tests? Especially ones that look for gonadotropic hormones or clomiphene citrate?
    Mike: (as clerk) Oh hi, Johnny, I didn't know it was you! Where's doggy?
  • Many riffs on New York. One line brought down the house in the Regal Union Square Stadium 14 in New York. When the Audrey and Animal are going down a wrecked subway station, Kevin exclaims, "Still better than the G train - am I right, New York?" It was followed by another line that caused the New Yorkers to explode in applause: when the station begins to shake, Kevin states that it's either Godzilla or NJ Governor Chris Christie approaching.
  • After one too many scenes of Jean Reno complaining about American food, the guys get fed up.
    Bill: American coffee! Movie critics! Emmerich's grudges explode across the screen!
    Kevin: GODZILLA!
  • After two ships are attacked and the crews are left paddling in the ocean, they insert this exchange between two crew members;
    Ted, my heart will go on!
    I don't care, Bob!
  • The film has a scene with three helicopters called Echo 1, 2, and 4. They get a couple good jokes out of the odd numbering.
    "This is Echo 3, can I land now?"
    "Shut up!"
  • One of the times Jean Reno shoots out a security lock and kicks the door down.
    Bill: Sacre BOOM!
  • This:
    Roaché: Elvis Presley. He was the King.
    Mike: And somewhere, Uncle Jesse nods his approval.
  • On Tatopoulos' Captain Obvious statement about islands.
    Tatopoulos: An island, water on all four sides...
    Mike: You mean as opposed to an island with ''land'' on all four sides?
  • Many riffs on how little anyone seems especially bothered by the carnage:
    Caiman: And many people are not happy about it.
    Kevin: They're 'not happy' about the mass casualties!
  • Shout-Outs to other famous Toho kaiju:
    Bill: Meanwhile, King Ghidorah, desperate for attention, keys some guy's car in Toledo.
  • When Audrey yells at the TV that it's "Gojira" not "Godzilla"
    Kevin: Whatever you say, female neckbeard!
  • When Zilla munches on a helicopter:
    Itadakimasu!
  • Steam rising from the sewer manholes can only mean one thing: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are totally baked!
    "Dude, our sensei is a talking rat!"
    "Heh, Donatello does machines!"
  • When the army gathers up tons of fish for Godzilla:
    Soldier: Alright, you bastard, time for supper.
    Mike: Golden Corral's new slogan.
  • The crew's lampooning of Mayor Ebert.
    "Next thing you know, she's going to be saying that video games are an art form!"
  • The gang's reaction to the inexplicable usage of the word "sweets".
    "Sweets? What are you, a 1980s English grandma?!"
  • The reaction to Niko singing "Singin' in the Rain".
    "This is even less attractive than the Clockwork Orange version."
  • Noting that Godzilla uses its fiery breath only twice in the whole film, to almost no effect:
    Mike: Oh, I guess his pilot light was out.

13. Anaconda

14. Santa Claus

  • The pre-show cards this time around:
  • Yet another "At Your Fingertips" short, entitled "Sugar and Spice" about making molded candy decorations.
    Kevin: Now we're at the point where this film answers the important question: are egg cartons grass?
    • At the end, the narrator suggests they can eat the molds (made entirely of sugar and food coloring): "Enjoy a nice hot slice of instant diabetes, kids!"
  • When Santa gets a letter from a boy asking for a new brother:
    Bill: Well, Santa's gonna get bizzzzzaaayy!
  • While Pitch gloats over his plot to make three little boys misbehave:
    Mike: "Meanwhile the other devils are causing a terrible famine in Africa."
  • During the montage of Santa's child slaves:
    Mike: The British stereotype was just way too offensive.
    • All the jokes pertaining to Santa's helpers from all the countries.
      • The African children pretty much didn't need a riff thanks to the Unfortunate Implications of how they're depicted, although there is a joke about how this is Christmas for Gov. George Wallace.
      • Because the Japanese kids have absolutely no enthusiasm at all, the riffers claim they've reached "Someone threatening to kill their dog off screen" levels of excitement and that the one on the left is trying to blink a message for help to his parents.
      • Before that there's Mike's riff about Santa paying an elf to dress up as Godzilla and sneak up on the kids.
      • The kids from the Caribbean: "This song is called, "Please Don't Let Johnny Depp Make a Fifth One."
      • The German kids sing an apology for trying to invade other countries, and say they'll "try" not to do it again.
      • When focused on the group of kids from South America, the riffers think that some of the Argentines are actually German.
      • The American kids, which consist of a boy and girl dressed as cowhands and plucking awkwardly at guitars: "Woody and Jessie's album was very poorly recieved."
      • One of the kids in the Mexican delegation is clearly a marionette.
      • Santa introduces kids from "The Orient"; this is after China and Japan have gone. Cut to a belly dancer and snake charmer as the very confused riffers try to figure out which of the many countries of "The Orient" they come from.
        Mike: (As the bellydancer dances) Ladies and Gentlemen: Hot Property!
    • About halfway through this interminable sequence: "To answer your next question, there are one hundred and ninety-six countries in the world..."
  • One of Pitch's evil thoughts whispered to someone sleeping: "Eat gluten!"
  • On a close-up of Pitch's face: "You can barely tell that it's Ron Perlman under that make-up."
  • When the devils dance around during their introduction, Kevin starts singing "I hope I get it!". This was actually the contest-winning guest riff.
  • Due to the god-awful dub, when Lupita's mom tells her the story of Christmas, it sounds like she's saying "the birth of Craig" instead of "the birth of Christ". Craig immediately became the riffers' new god and got a couple of callbacks later on.
    Mike: (as Lupita's mother, as she does the Sign of the Cross near the end of the film) Thank you, Craig.
  • The Running Gag of Lupita's father being addicted to cockfighting, which is why they're broke. His first reaction when he sees Lupita's doll is to to try and figure out how much he can hock it for.
  • Yet another Running Gag of Merlin's walking. "Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da…"
  • As Santa is losing weight in order to fit down chimneys, the low angle shot makes it appear to the riffers that Santa is about to take a crap.
  • Bill and Kevin re-enacting King Theoden's rally cry as the Rohirim arrive at Peleanor Fields in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King as Santa prepares to head down to Earth, with the Nashville audience joining in with the "DEATH!" chant.
  • While Santa is reading children's letters:
    Santa: "I have been very obedient..."
    Bill: It's from Anastasia Steele!
  • One riff involves Lupita pointing out the Fridge Logic of her father trying to find a job at 4:00AM on Christmas morning.
  • Keeping up with the tradition of using the Teletalker as the basis of a dirty joke, one line mentions how Santa, while he's delivering toys, has his helpers keep Merlin away from the machine while he's gone.
  • As the evil trio plan yet another attempt to capture Santa Claus:
    Boy: As soon as Santa Claus lands on the roof there, all three of us will jump on him! We'll tie him up, and stick him in a sack..."
    Bill: And we'll blame it on the West Memphis Three!
  • On the infamous laughing reindeer:
    Mike: "Bow down before Blitzen! BOW DOWN!!"
  • The running gag of using Spanish terms on signs as names of actual people:
    Mike: This guy Cartas sure does get a lot of mail.
    Kevin: [as Santa] I'll just send this to my associate Verdad Certes.

15. The Room (2003)

  • Among the songs played during the pre-show includes a new song from the Rifftones about the effects of a computer virus on Miku Hatsune titled "My Girlfriend Has a Virus".
  • The short was the final "At Your Fingertips" video. With the guys remarking how bored the kids look while building boats out of garbage.
  • Prior to the first Johnny/Lisa sex scene: "For those of you who associate positive things with the word 'sex,' that is all about to change."
  • Bill comparing Johnny's naked body to the body "Weird Al" Yankovic had during the Rambo sequence in UHF.
  • During the spiral staircase sex scene, Bill and Mike act out just how difficult, awkward, and painful sex on a spiral staircase would be, and really getting into it...and Kevin is just standing there laughing his ass off.
  • "Oh hai, darkness, my old friend!"
  • Johnny: If more people loved each other, the world would be a better place!
    Kevin: He just wrote a Coldplay song!
  • When Lisa offers Johnny a drink:
    Lisa: If you love me, you'll drink this.
    Mike: Seven words you don’t want to hear Bill Cosby say.
  • During the first sex scene, the awkward position of the characters lead the guys to assume Johnny must have had a "hip dick" installed. This becomes a running gag throughout.
  • The Running Gag of Mark's random remark that he's thinking of moving to a bigger place since he's making a lot of money.
  • The fact that afterward they played a commercial advertising Tommy Wiseau's underwear line. It's almost as bizarre as The Room.
  • When Johnny, Denny and Mark make terrible chicken noises at Peter.
    Mike: The entire Bluth family then left the theater, disgusted.

16. Sharknado 2: The Second One

  • Before the pre-show cards, a test feed (consisting of footage from either a previous live show or a film riffed in a previous show) is broadcasted to give theaters showing the event some time to make sure that everything is properly set up. For Sharknado 2, the test feed was labelled with the following caption:
    Left Shark Test Material Only.
  • The pre-show cards return!
  • Two words from even before the opening credits:
    Bill: Wheaton? Eaten!
  • Mark McGrath's character on being remembered as part of the "Dynamic Duo" when he and Fin were young and Mike's response:
    Mark: I thought I was Batman!
    Mike: You were Aunt Harriet, at best!
  • The cameo of Subway spokesman Jared Fogle was appropriately met with booing, and the riffers uncomfortably mentioning that "we had a joke for this on Monday, but..." note 
  • A garbage truck driving away from the rolling, severed head of the Statue of Liberty, which has long since crashed to the streets.
    Bill: Go to hell, physics!
  • When April pulls a severed arm out of a dead shark's mouth:
    Bill: The sharks got Furiosa!
  • The storm is described as "Blowing sharks down Broadway," which the guys decide is the adults-only version of West Side Story.
  • The Running Gag of Fin being in love with Skye's father rather than her back in the day.
  • This Shout-Out:
    Mayor: Fin, we brought you something- (He unveils a chainsaw) And we didn't have to go to Jersey to get it!
    Fin: Sweet!
    Mike: Or, you might even say, "Groovy!"
  • The eleventh-hour cameo by, of all people, Kurt Angle, who is referred to as an "inflated Vin Diesel".

17. Miami Connection

  • The usual array of pre-show cards:
  • The short Measuring Man is several minutes of uncomfortably hilarious Values Dissonance, as it features a superhero taking a young boy away to a "secret place", giving him treats, and gesturing to all of the phallic measuring tools on his utility belt.
    Measuring Man: [narrating] When we got to Measuring Land, I asked Tommy how big he was.
    [Mike, Kevin and Bill scream in horror]
    Kevin: Oh, God! Someone call the police!
    • Measuring Man's introduction is one of those moments that doesn't require any additional comments from the guys. Just think Superman with an MM insignia instead of the S, having various phallic measuring tools (and a long, sparkly item) on his belt and not even bothering to take off the glasses when in his superhero persona.
      Mike: Yep, you are seeing what you think you are seeing ladies and gentlemen.
    • "This looks like a job for..." "An average math teacher!" "Measuring Man!" "Or him too, I don't know."
    • Before Measuring Man appears, Tommy's mother asks the superhero's civilian identity, a milkman, for more cottage cheese during his second run.
      Mike (As Measuring Man): I'll have to skip visiting my mother in hospice (could be any day now), but that's fine, you'll get your damn cottage cheese.
  • Kevin's Distracted by the Sexy moment during the sample clip of Jack and the Beanstalk.
    Bill: Kevin! She's young enough to be your great-granddaughter!
  • From the movie:
    • Getting the audience to participate by clapping off-tempo and doing bad air guitar during "Against the Ninja."
    • Kevin making sure to point out the fact that Tom leans in closer to allow a thug to pour beer on him.
    • As Tom is getting shoved around by several women on the beach:
      Mike: [as Tom] Yeah, slap me around. Now call me Measuring Man!
    • Mike's The Dog Was the Mastermind moment of the restaurant owner plotting to take over America starting with Dragon Sound.
    • The entire trio doing a classic, "Lllladies~" as three gang members all remove their sunglasses at once.
    • The unusually light requirements of how to be considered a tough guy during the "Tough Guy" song.
    • The Running Gag of Jim's Big "OMG!" combined with Screams Like a Little Girl.
    • The climax is full of great moments:
      Kevin: [Mark]'s in a berserker state. It won't look good if he runs into that old people's bird-watching society.
      • The three ninjas who argue over whose turn it is to stand in the middle.
      • John attempting to dramatically rip his shirt off only for it to get stuck, as Bill gladly points out.
    • Bill correcting Jim's father that addressing a Mark in any of these movies must be done with, "Ohai Mark!"

18. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (Jack and the Beanstalk Version)

  • At the beginning of the show, Bill gets some Christmas accessories from a knock-off of Party City for the guys to wear during the show. One of the things he got was something he believed to be a Ukrainian Christmas mascot. It was a Pikachu winter hat.
  • From the "Santa's Enchanted Village" short while Puss 'N Boots is arguing with Stinky the Skunk.
    Bill: Kids love it when furries have labor disputes!
    • From the same short, the wheezy accordion sounds that accompany the Wolf, described variously as "John Cage playing the accordion while having a seizure," "Weird Al falling down the stairs," "two accordions doin' it," and "Wile E. Coyote after being flattened by a boulder."
  • The giant's actor in the Jack and the Beanstalk segment is a Large Ham with No Indoor Voice, resulting in being very unintentionally funny, so the riffers have a lot of fun when he's onscreen and make it even funnier.
  • The entire scene of "Sonny and Cher and Cameltoe".
  • During one of the scenes where Jack is climbing back up the beanstalk, the guys pretend the scene is padded because Santa is taking a pee break and Mike literally pours a jug of water into the bucket for foley as Kevin catches the sounds with his mic.
  • An unintentional Brick Joke as one of the riffs has the giant's wife asking, "Why didn't I marry that farting green ogre?" and one of her later lines has her telling the giant, "I'm going over to visit Mrs. Ogre." She was going to visit Fiona?
  • As the Ice Cream bunny drives the kids towards Santa.
    Mike: I've given up trying to steal your Trix. Instead I'm taking you to our Soylent Trix factory. Trix are from kids!
  • Shortly after the Ice Cream Bunny's introduction, Mike and Kevin both looked over at Bill with intense glee as they knew Bill's hilarious Evil Laugh for the ICB was coming. He did not disappoint.
  • Played during the credits, "Here Comes the Ice Cream Bunny"
  • At the Belcourt Theater, there were two Ice Cream Bunnies. One male, one female (who came separately). The riffers didn't fail to notice. In fact, outside on line, Kevin screamed on seeing the first (very faithful looking) Ice Cream Bunny.
    Bill: Let them fight!

19. Time Chasers

  • The pre-show cards included this time:
  • Kevin’s reaction to Chimp The Fireman.
    Kevin:' I’m sorry guys. I thought this was Fireman the Chimp.
  • When announcing the MST3K reunion, Bill mentions that Jonah Ray, the New Meat, will be given his initiation, Kevin comments “He will be pantsed in front of everyone”.
  • When two thugs give up the hunt for Nick and Lisa in the future by simply shrugging and leaving the factory.
    Mike: I dunno about this acting thing. I quit.
  • Mike's Lampshade Hanging of why the MST3K version of the film cut out the rest of the scenes with the taxi driver.
  • In a Call-Back to Birdemic, they pretend that one of the guys who says "Govmint" is really Rod trying to sell his "Slrpnls".
  • The "Mastercard?" "Visa?" exchange when Nick and Lisa exchange side glances at each other and are on exact eye level with the two credit card logos.
  • When Nick hijacks a boat.
    Nick: [brandishing a gun] Get out!
    Bill: [as the fishermen jump into the water] Leave the bait!
  • After Nick escapes using a stolen boat.
    Matt: I don't see him, J.K., he must've made the trees.
    Bill: God made the trees, you heathen!
  • During the scene where Nick confronts J.K. Robertson about using the time machine and making the future horrible:
    Mike: (as J.K., whiny) Let me usher in the end times! Gosh!

20. Rifftrax 10th Anniversary: MST3K Reunion Show

  • Pre-show Cards:
    • Unpopular Fan Theories: Every Time Mega Man defeated Dr. Wily he would shave off the doctor's iconic eyebrows and force him to eat them.
  • The Talking Car
    • The response of "We don't care!" from Jimmy's neighborhood friends when he tells them he's going fishing.
    • Kevin explaining that a little girl got her light-reflecting jacket as a gift from Lady Galadriel as payment for cat-sitting.
  • A Word to the Wives
  • More Dates for Kay
    • Before the short, Trace talks about some of his and Frank's upcoming shows.
      Trace: We have two shows each on an upcoming Saturday and Sunday-
      Frank: Four different movies.
      Trace: Why are you telling them that? We're actually going to have to work now! Then, at the start of next month, we're doing one show!
      Frank: Four different movies in one show!
      Trace: [Big "NO!" and Face Palm followed up by readying his mic cord to strangle Frank]
    • A flashback to a slumber party where all of the girls are completely overacting is summed up with Trace shouting, "I'm making a saaaaaandwich! Can you beliieeeeeeeeve it?" (The latter part perfectly timed with the actress' saucy eye-roll.)
    • Kay volunteering for "Dirty work" and Frank exclaiming, "She's writing her own riffs!"
  • Shake Hands with Danger
    • After the short ends, Bill warns the audience that the guitar lick is an Ear Worm that will never leave your head for at least a week.
    • The riff that "Maybe Caterpillar just hires bone-stupid workers." got a huge laugh in Peoria, the city that has their global HQ.
  • Americans at Work: Barbers and Beauticians
    • The joke of the head stylist looking like Frank Nelson.
    • The Running Gag of one of the stylists looking like Frankenstein's monster.
    • While commenting on male beauticians, the narrator (quite understandably, for the 1950s) sidesteps any Camp Gay implications by insisting that they must be great admirers of female beauty. Joel and Jonah start coughing uncomfortably at that statement.
    • This exchange after the narrator explains that a man's hair will grow back whenever it's cut; for most men, anyway.
      Jonah: Right, Joel?
      (Beat)
      Joel: Hey!
      • Which leads to a Heartwarming Moment when, after a burst of (hopefully) good-natured cat-calling from the audience, Joel has to come to Jonah's rescue: "We kid on stage because we love."
    • Jonah completely trips up on a line and Joel simply exclaims, "Welcome to Rifftrax Live!"
    • "PODIUM SWITCH!"
  • Stamp Day for Superman
    • The crew didn't need to say a thing regarding Lois's Idiot Ball moment when a burglar she saw calls her up to claim he's surrendering and tells her to "Come alone," to escort him to the police so he can surrender.
    • Clark Kent reading from a sheet of paper that the riffers think is a pen pal letter from Batman on being excited that their mothers share the name of Martha. "Give it a rest, Bruce!"
    • On the criminal's name:
      Lois: You won't have to worry about writing your friends now, Blinky.
      Trace: Your friends Inky, Pinky, and the rest of the Pac-Man ghosts!
    • Trace's, "So the S is for 'Stamp?'" when Superman is participating in Stamp Day at the school.
    • Mary Jo is not particularly impressed with this version of the character and invokes Mundane Made Awesome to make her point.
      "Superman — master of trotting short distances!"
      "Sitting quietly while people make phone calls. ACTION COMICS!"
  • At Your Fingertips: Grasses
    • Before the short, Kevin completes a Brick Joke set up at the Time Chasers live declaring they're going to pants Jonah live on stage.
    • Frank lamenting that, with all of the shots of long, overgrown grass at the beginning of the short, it's one shot of a lawn mower away from being a snuff film.
    • Jonah revealing that "Solid Knobby Joint" was his high school nickname.
    • Rather than get into the whole "is corn grass?" thing again, Bill simply refers everyone to his Tumblr post on the subject.
      • On top of that, a marquee appears at the bottom of the screen to point people to the same tumblr post under the address of www.cornisgrass.com.
      • And later on in the short, Jonah tries to revisit the topic.
    • At the end of the short, when they're all going bonzo nutzoid:
    Mary Jo: Kill the pig! Drink its blood!
    Trace: Can't we just play with grass and NOT kill?
    Bridget: You're no fun, Debbie!
    • Becomes Genius Bonus when you remember that Trace's character on MST3k was named Clayton Deborah Susan Forrester.

    Live Shows 21 - 30 

21. Mothra

  • The teaser shown at the Reunion show had pretty much nothing but cars getting blown around due to the wind from Mothra's wings. Kevin deduces that Mothra was somehow traumatized by Hot Wheels when young and is now getting revenge.
  • Pre-show Cards:
  • The show opens with this Brick Joke set up way back at the very first live:
    Mike: And hello to every city in the United States, except Ft. Worth!
  • This Call-Back during the scene of a cheering crowd:
    Bill: Packers won the Superbowl!
  • When your pause is just a bit too long:
    Ship Captain: Attention, all hands!
    [Beat]
    Kevin: That is all!
  • Mike's becoming the Butt-Monkey of the show courtesy of the film's villain sharing the last name of Nelson.
  • Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as DIE!

22. Carnival of Souls

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Did You Spook?note 
      • Right after they took that picture at the end of The Shining, everyone at the party stripped for a naked limbo competition.
      • It's 40% more efficient to summon Beetlejuice than Candyman.
    • Movie Spookstakes!note 
    • Spookiie Quotes!note 
      • "One: Keep him out of the light. Two: No water. Three: No food after midnight. And most importantly: No trying to be edgy by claiming this is your favorite Christmas Movie." - Gremlins
      • "A weepy meloTRAUMA that had my BLEEDING HEART torn to PIECES!! AAHH-HAHAHA-HAAAA!!!" - The Crypt Keeper's review of Lorenzo's Oil
      • "I'm asking YOU who's IT!" - The infamous "Freeze Tag Routine" in Abbott and Costello Meet Pennywise
      • "To Serve Man, it's... it's a dance-off guide!!" - The CW's The Twilight Zone
      • "I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed." - Daniel Plainview, There Will Be Blood. Not a joke or Halloween-related in any way, just a good quote.
    • Spookler Alert!note 
      • All horror masks, not just Michael Myers', are repurposed masks of William Shatner.
      • Everyone shout out what you called the night before Halloween as a kid. Those who answered differently are now your sworn enemy.
      • According to a credible eyewitness report, Wolfman's got nards.
    • Unspookular Fan Theoriesnote 
    • Lesser Halloween Monstersnote 
      • The guy who zips into the parking space even though you have CLEARLY claimed it and were waiting patiently with your blinker.
      • Person who reminds you Frankenstein is technically the doctor, not the creature.
      • The Fan of the Opera
  • The Dirt Witch Cleans Up
    • This exchange:
      Little Girl: I saw what you did. You shouldn't have done that.
      Bill: Ah, if only Hitler had been told the same thing by a little girl.
  • Masks of Grass
    • Given how this is short is not only from the same people behind the At Your Fingertips shorts, but also follows up on the mask concept from ''At Your Fingertips: Grasses', you know this is going to be a fun one.
    • During the montage of kids sporting various grass masks, one of them is referred to as "homeless Martin Van Buren".
    • Bill makes fun of a kid's appearance and Kevin riffs the kid considering suicide because of his comment.
  • Near the beginning they comment that the director's name, Herk, sounds like the sound people make when they're throwing up. Later, the lead's acting leads them to comment that she's trying to hack up a hairball, so they start yelling "Herk! Herk!".
  • Kevin's comment on Kansas after the accident at the beginning of the movie, "For years, people throughout the entire state of Kansas would remember this moment as The Day Something Happened!"
  • Mike: Huh, a boring white woman quietly maintaining the speed limit. That should be Utah's state flag.
  • Mary stops for gas:
    Mary: Fill it up?
    Attendant: Sure thing, miss! [goes to fuel her car.]
    Bill: [as Mary] No, you idiot, I was coming on to you!
  • Miss Thomas shows Mary her room and carries a container of Ajax cleaning powder during the scene:
    Miss Thomas: If there's anything else you need... I guess you'll have to wait until morning.
    Bill: [as Mary] I could use some Ajax-
    Mike: [as Miss Thomas] Don't have any!
    [moments later, Mary sees The Man]
    Kevin: [as The Man] Did you get the Ajax?
  • When Mary arrives at her new employment:
    Mike: A church in Utah? I'll just assume it's baptist.
  • The old lady in the church creeping the riffers out with how oddly she looks at the camera.
  • Mary's first meeting with John: She opens the door while wearing only a towel after having just taken a bath.
    Mike: [as John steps into frame] Hi, the name's Norman Bates! Would you mind stepping back into the shower?
  • After having coffee with John:
    Mary: Thank you for the coffee, it was unsanitary but delicious.
    Mike: Golden Corral's new slogan.
  • When Mary is fired from the church, Bill points out how a strange ornament on the wall looks like the Starship Enterprise.
  • When Mary leaves the house and is in a very catatonic state:
    Kevin: [in a very monotone voice while making robot sounds] Actressbot, initiate exit sequence. [Mary walks out of the room] Turn left.
    Bill: [in the same robotic tone] Commence staircase descending protocol.
    Mike: Actressbot, display emotion.
    Bill: Does not compute!
  • Mike's Tempting Fate with "If she drives any more, she'll have to stop for an oil change before the movie is through," followed immediately by Mary driving into a service station when her car starts acting up and Kevin and Bill's reactions.
  • Bill's exclaiming, "She sees us!" when Mary looks at the camera, followed by her screaming and running away. "She doesn't like us!"
  • Pretty much all of the insults they throw at John for being a lecherous creep.

23. Samurai Cop

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Did You Know?
      • There were 3 unsuccessful movies about Ferris Bueller having a normal, responsible day at school before the producers figured out a better direction.
      • The top grossing movie of 2021 is predicted to be Super Metroid Glitched Any% Speedrun: The Motion Picture
      • Up until 1998, you were considered clinically insane if you rated every movie via a Tomatometer.
      • Matt Damon recently starred in a movie called The Great Wall. Don't feel bad if you didn't know, he's already forgotten too.
      • Shawshank Redemption DVDs are worth twice as much in Michigan.
      • Home Alone 2 features a cameo by a future US president (the kid who plays Buzz is elected president in 2044)
    • Movie Mistakes
      • James Nguyen forgot to leave in the "Unregistered Hypercamn 2" watermarks on the virtual sets in Replica.
      • The Truman Show depicts a reality TV star who's likable.
      • Turns out that loud THX sound that used to play before movies was more poisonous than lead. Oopsie!
    • Movie Quotes
      • "Yeah, I'm thinking I'm Zack." - John Wick Chapter 3: Saved by the Bell Hawaiian Style
      • "You're gonna need a bigger boat." - Boat Purchasing: The Motion Picture
      • "People will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa. They'll ask where you grow the potatoes. You'll say 'That's Idaho.' They'll say 'Oh.' You'll kind of stare at them. They'll cough. I didn't think this speech through." - James Earl Jones, Field of Dreams
      • "Why on earth are you recapping this for the AV club? You're almost thirty, go start a family or something!" - Huey, The DuckTales (2017) reboot.
      • "The world will end in utter despair or blind faith. I don't know which is worse. There are refreshments in the lobby." - Werner Herzog's theater disclaimer
    • New Cop Movie Cliches
      • Instead of stopping for donuts, stopping at a Redbox to mournfully reflect on the loss of video stores and the gradual death of physical media.
      • Nobody dies three days from retirement because nobody can afford to retire.
      • Chief who encourages you to remain in his office.
      • Hero detective's inner demons and unresolved past are replaced with a lust for desk duty.
      • Anything with "Blue" in the title stars a precinct obsessed with Joni Mitchell.
      • Annoyingly long-winded answers to "Do you feel lucky, punk?" after a perp discovers Ayn Rand.
      • Going undercover as a mutated humanoid to infiltrate a CHUD gang.
    • Spoiler Alert!
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
  • Short: "Manners in School"
    • Pointing out the Special Effects Failure of Larry being too lazy to fully extend his arm when doing so would have easily let him erase Chalky right away.
    • Chalky: I just thought of another thing, Larry. Do you know what it is?
      Mike: Uh... never get involved in a land war in Asia?
    • The group questioning why the objects that come to life always ask the kid they haunt to kill them after Chalky basically tells Larry it's okay to rub him out.
  • Film: Samurai Cop
    • Bill's Running Gag of how they're actually riffing on Are You Being Served? instead of Samurai Cop or the future Doctor Who live show.
    • The biggest laugh of the night came after Da Chief kicks Joe and Frank out of his office, then fails to fight back a chuckle as he shakes his head and Kevin riffs, "Aww, I love those motherfuckers!"
    • After Da Chief curses out the Big Bad's attorney, the riffers surmise he used to be in charge of Customer Service for United Airlinesnote .
    • The Running Gag of Frank's "Black gift."
    Mike: "Black Gift"? Does he keep a bow tied around it all the time?
    Joe: (dressed in nothing but a speedo) Happy birthday to you...
    Kevin: I'm as dumb as a shoe./See the outline of my glans penis?/I'm not smart enough to rhyme!
    • "What if two embarrassing senior class portraits came to life and tried to kill each other?"

24. Rifftrax Summer Shorts Beach Party

  • Pre-Show Cards:
  • Ricky Raccoon Shows the Way
    • The Running Gag of Jackie being Too Dumb to Live, especially as everything covered in the short is normally taught to kids half his age.
  • Office Etiquette
    • Classic Trace: "You know none of that work matters now? Because you're dead!"
  • Rhythmic Ball Skills
    • The riff at the very beginning showcasing how none of the kids wanted to be there. "Oops, lost a kid already!"
    • Mike's response to the narrator asking what can be learned through rhythmic ball skills.
    Mike: Mostly crippling embarrassment!
    • Narrator: Try throwing the ball a little higher as you get better.
      Bill: Okay, if you get better.
    • Narrator: Counter-clockwise is opposite to this direction.
      Mike: Sounds like a Homer Simpson line.
  • The Griper
    • Conscience: Is there griper you have to deal with in your life?
      Mary Jo: Quit looking at me, Bridget!
  • Sentinels of Safety
    • Not even a riff: "Using kerosene to light a fire is a good, quick way to die." *KABOOM!!!*
  • A Touch of Magic
    • Paul F. Tompkins taking the stage and speaking into one of the stand's mini-lamps as if it was his microphone, followed by the conversation on why the author of The Hardy Boys constantly reminded everyone that Chet was fat.
    • The Running Gag of the housewarming party being a hallucination of the main couple because there were clearly no actual guests there.
  • The Baggs
    • Frank is on fire in this one:
      You can tell both of those actors were totally nude. One of them was Lena Dunham.
      Okay, by a show of hands, how many of you were expecting a bag to give birth tonight?
      On hindsight I kind of regret helping him steal my bike.

25. Doctor Who 20th AS "The Five Doctors"

  • Preshow cards
    • Anagrams
      • MGAE OF HRTONESnote 
      • XERETMNAEITnote 
      • TROCHOWDOnote 
      • ARSC 3note 
    • Movie Mistakes
      • The name Angel Elgort was accidentally given to the star of Baby Driver instead of a background space dwarf in Star Wars.
      • Questioning the ability of golden retrievers to play basically any sport.
      • The fact that we don't already have at least eight direct to Netflix Face/Off sequels.
    • Movie Quotes
      • "Go then. There are other movies than this." - Usher to angry moviegoers walking out after fifteen minutes of The Dark Tower
      • "I'm gonna make the Kessel Run in less than eleven parsecs!" - Han Solonote 
      • "Aw man, what a ripoff!" - Guy who thought DuckTales was about pony tails and cotton tails, 54 second into the DuckTales intro
      • "I'd like one ticket for Blade Runner 2049." - Guy about to sneak into My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)
      • "I'm the Cap'n now." - Cap'n Crunch 3: Oops! All The Berries Are DEAD
      • "Honestly, I feel like we overbought on planets." - Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
      • "One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. But only if the money's right. You want the William Hartnell magic, ya gots ta make it rain!" - The First Doctor
      • "Durr, I am James Tiberius! Durr, two plus two is five! Durr, my foot is stuck in a bucket! Durr, durr!" - Dumkirk
    • Spoiler Alert!
      • Thanks to the success of Wonder Woman (2017), Hollywood finally gets it and will make more movies with leading roles for Wonder.
      • The Big Sick is a critically-acclaimed comedy, and also how people felt after seeing the new Transformers movie.
      • Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie took place entirely in Crazy Joe Davola's head.
      • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is the first in a planned trilogy consisting of Jumanji: Paradise City and Jumanji: Don't Cry (Alternate Lyrics)
      • That cow that got picked up by the tornado in Twister is in talks to star in The Far Side Movie.
      • The Ninjagos are coming from inside the Lego Ninjago movie!
      • In Soviet Russia, Spider-Man reboot you!
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
      • Sam should never have played it again.
      • The Oscar-winning film Moonlight and 1980s Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis television dramedy Moonlighting occur in the same cinematic universe.
      • They're gonna need a smaller boat.
      • The world of The Emoji Movie is the real world, and we just live inside their phones.
      • Mike Myers is Tommy Maitland's best character.
      • If they had only made a movie out of Street Fighter: The Movie: The Video Game, it would still have not been very good.
    • Who Knew?
      • Pete Davidson is the only person to have played Doctor Who and been an SNL cast member, until Peter Capaldi regenerates into Kenan Thompson in early 2018.
      • The Dark Tower of Rassilon, located in Gallifrey's Death Zone, is now a Howard Johnson's.
      • The Third Doctor's vintage roadster, Bessie, is named for Miss Elizabeth, Macho Man Randy Savage's manager.
      • Peter Cushing's Doctor is non-canonical. No matter how hard you wish, the same will never be true of Sylvester McCoy.
      • Every time the Doctor reverses the polarity of the neutron flow, he is forced to change his AOL password.
      • The sheep who provided the wool for the 4th Doctor's scarf are now on display at Planet Hollywood, Wisconsin.
      • The Master is the Doctor's second greatest enemy after the IBS that plagued him through each of his incarnations.
      • The 4th Doctor's last words were: "It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for." He was actually referring to the table he had booked at the Olive Garden.
      • A mint-condition copy of the original Dalek Annual is an even greater rarity than a female Doctor Who fan before 2006.
  • Short: Play Safe
    • The owl explaining to the kids that the police will help them should they get something stuck on a power line, followed by the officer outright telling the kids, "That was a real stupid place to fly a kite." No riffs needed.
    • Mike remarking that one of the remote control model airplanes is actually the plane from Time Chasers.
    • The Special Effects Failure of Jimmy's flaming jeans when he gets fried at the substation.
  • Film: The Five Doctors (Or "Grumpy old men telling people where to go")
    • When the Fifth Doctor first exits the TARDIS, "Ah, it feels so good to be out here on film rather than in there on video tape."
    • As Richard Hurndall makes his appearance as the First Doctor — "I said I'd return, didn't say I'd be the same guy!" — Kevin remarks that he's on his way to have tea with the second Darrin from Bewitched.
    • When the First Doctor is abducted, Mike declares it a shocking twist: somebody is telling an old man to get off his lawn.
    • When the First Doctor is wandering the maze, Bill compares it to "Martin Van Buren on the set of a Japanese game show."
    • Mike's remark that the First Doctor and Susan just need to find a single stair to defeat the Dalek that's chasing them.
    • The Third Doctor doing a slow U-turn to drive away from danger is teased as "The Fast and the Furious — Gloucestershire Drift".
    • Continuing the Running Gag beginning in the very first show, the riffers remark that the Death Zone is still better-looking than Fort Worthnote .
    • After some explosions send the Master fleeing, we get "Someone pissed off Tim the Enchanter!"
      • Earlier, the Fourth Doctor is referred to as "Sir Technically Appearing in This Film"note .
    • On the Third Doctor and Sarah's encounter with 'the most perfect killing machine ever devised': "Where, behind that spandex dork?"
      • Mike, Kevin and Bill mostly let the Raston Warrior Robot's antics speak for themselves, which says a lot.
    • Mike's riff of the Cyberman who stumbles onto the Fifth Doctor and the Master as missing his cue and needing to step back off stage.
      • Followed immediately by a comment on the Cyberman's classic series voices: "I always wondered what an evil Speak 'n' Spell would sound like."
    • When Turlough and Susan are looking at the tower on the TARDIS monitor, Kevin calls out, "Hey, that's just Space Quest II!"
    • The infamous "What?! No, not the mind probe." scene is made even funnier with "That's the wrong kind of probe!" when the Castellan gives his dying scream.
    • The Fifth Doctor's "Bat Deduction" of "A series of notes... a tune!" is met with Mike responding, "Dull words... on a series of pages... paycheck!"
    • When Tegan and Sarah Jane are introduced to one another: "So, you wanna play at Lilith Fair?"
    • "Please insert the second CD-ROM disc!" when Rassilon's voice is first heard.
    • "I hear the director's cut has even more scenes of companions falling down!"
      • Sarah Jane falling down and needing to be pulled up from the side of the road with the help of the Third Doctor's car Bessie is a scream. When they're next seen, it's suggested Three has been mocking her about it at length.
    • When Mike hears the Narm-tastic death scream of fake Jamie, he remarks that he's found his new ringtone.
    • At least two Call Backs to the short with Jimmy trying to retrieve the Frisbee and getting fried.
    • "Thanks for visiting the Death Zone! Follow us on Snapchat!"
    • "Turlough, what's your contribution to this whole operation?"
      • Earlier he's referred to as "Turlough Weasley."
    • The unfortunate costumes for most of the returning characters plus the Time Lords provide a lot of gag material, especially the coats. Sarah Jane Smith is apparently headed to "Purple-Con" and the Second Doctor is chided for wearing Mr. Snuffleupagus's pelt. The observation that fake Zoe is wearing a dress made of bubble wrap proves all that needs to be said.
    • It's pointed out that this is the second-dumbest movie about a journey to a Dark Tower shown in theaters in the summer of 2017.
    • The sole riff relating to the revival series: The Fifth Doctor scoffing at the Master's claim to be helping him for a change is followed up with "Next you'll be saying one day I'll be played by a woman!"note 

26. Space Mutiny

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Anagrams
      • FINTIYNI RWAnote 
      • R.O.T.O.R.note 
    • Did You Know?
      • UFC Fighter Luke Rockhold is the first professional athlete to be named after a David Ryder alias.
      • Billions is still a real television show that is on the air.
      • The next Minions movie will take place entirely within the mutating horror-world of the Shimmer from Annihilation (2018).
      • Superman runs on solar power, so on top of everything else he's also the most eco-friendly hero. He really can't let Aquaman have ANYTHING.
    • Movie Mistakes
    • Movie Quotes
    • Other Space Crimes
    • Spoiler Alert!
      • Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wears a tight t-shirt and looks with concern at something in the sky (this spoiler applies to all of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's movies).
      • The Shape of Water turned out to be a rhombus.
      • Han Solo will return in American Horror Story: Solo: A Star Wars Story.
      • Game of Thrones went out for a pack of cigarettes and it's never coming back.
      • Spielberg's sequel to The Post focuses on the paper's controversial 1991 decision to stop running Gasoline Alley.
      • Hotel Transylvania 3 features the first big screen appearance of the Fruit Brute since his cameo in the Eric Stoltz scene in Pulp Fiction.
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
      • In We Didn't Start the Fire, when Billy Joel sang "Trouble in the Suez" he really meant "Trouble in the sewers" because he was way into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the time.
      • "Gordy" was just an alias that Babe used when he cruised swingers clubs.
      • They're going to make a good Fantastic Four movie someday.
      • Somewhere in the universe there exists a person who is looking forward to the Avatar sequels.
  • As Kalgan explains his Evil Plan:
    Kalgan: And alter course for Corona Borealis.
    Kevin: Currently located entirely in Principal Skinner's kitchen.
  • And later, as a crewmember attempts to interact with the Fanservice:
    Enforcer: Hey, you! The Bellerians are off limits!
    Bill: The eternal vigilance of Corporal Cockblock!
  • This gem from after Ryder arrives right after Lea's fake seduction of Joe.
    Lea: What took you so long?
    Ryder: I've been busy too.
    Mike: [as Ryder] I seduced Murray!
  • The Brick Joke calling back to the pre-show slides on how yet another Fantasic Four reboot has failed as MacPhearson is burning to death.
  • The moment everyone was waiting for: Even more David Ryder nicknames!
    Mike: Lunk Drywall!
    Kevin: Stiff Shakestone!
    Bill: Thump Pecwich!
  • Prior to the film, the guys note that there's some "adult content" that had been cut out of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, and Bill promises that there will not be a repeat of the live gorilla-gram from Starship Troopers. What do we get instead? A CGI gorilla-gram. A lengthy discussion ensues over whether or not the creature is a gorilla or a hippo, why its balloons are so unnaturally shiny, and the Nightmare Fuel quality of its smile animation.
  • As in the MST treatment, the trio point out the continuity error where Lamont is shown alive after being killed, leading to these riffs:
    Mike: I died, but I got better.
    Bill: "I enjoyed your funeral, Janet." "Thank you, sir."
  • The old man in the next scene:
    Kevin: Are you here to sell me a reverse mortgage?
  • This moment:
    Dave Ryder: Shit! Son of a bitch!
    Bill: Our hero.

27. Krull

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Forgotten Fantasy Films:
      • Corlax the Constipated
      • Ben and Jerry vs. Some Dragons
      • Toy Story, But With A Bunch of Those Little Pewter Statues of Wizards With Crystals And Junk
      • Lord of the Rings: the Sackville-Bagginses' Family Vacation
      • Security Camera Footage of Gary Gygax Sweating Profusely and Reading Newsweek While Waiting for His Tire Alignment to Finish at Jiffy Lube
      • Krull 2: Back to the Minors
      • Office Managers of Catan
      • A Connecticut Yankee in Judge Judy's Court
      • Gleaming the Gelatinous Cube
    • Movie Mistakes
      • The scene in the Mr. Rogers documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor where Mr. Rogers briefly transforms into a giant battle robot and blows up a shopping mall.
      • In several scenes in A Talking Cat!?! characters accidentally say, "A Talking Cat?!?"
      • Speaking friend but not entering.
      • Sitting next to New Yorker critic Anthony Lane while watching Western Animation/Incredibles 2.
      • There's a movie called The First Purge but it's not the first Purge movie. Whoops!
      • Not casting the priest from the end of The Little Mermaid as Dirk Diggler.
      • Selling the film rights to the Beatrix Potter library to Eli Roth.
      • Feeling vaguely hopeful about Bill and Ted 3.
      • The fact that Road House (1989) villain Brad Wesley and The Karate Kid Part III villain Terry Silver were never in a road comedy movie together.
    • Movie Quotes
      • "Ant-Man AND the Wasp? In this economy?" - A hacky comedian in Ant-Man and the Wasp
      • "Oh yeah, I can speak. But would YOU talk to that Witwicky idiot??" - Bumblebee, Bumblebee
      • "To-ga! To-ga!! To-ga!!!" - Sister Helen Prejean, Dead Man Walking
      • "Neigh Neigh!" - Fun in Balloon Land (Horse Narrator Version)
      • "Whoa, check out what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese here! #metricsystemftw #royalewithcheese #foodie #gonnagetfat #paris #travel #hollaatyaboymia" - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction 2018
      • "I dunno... VR Troopers? Those were a thing, right? They had that dog?" - Wade Watts, Ready Player Two
      • "I just want everyone to stop making fun of me!!!!" - Aquaman, Aquaman
      • "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." - Bruce Dern, Nebraska!
      • "My name is Calvin and I'm here to say / We're going Yukon Ho in a major way!" - Calvin and Hobbes animated Dreamworks movie in a hellish alternate universe
      • "Luke, I am your father. Also, a hot dog is not a sandwich." - Darth Vader, Podcast Wars
    • Spoiler Alert
      • In Skyscraper, Dwayne Johnson and the skyscraper wind up together in the end.
      • "Frankenberry" is not a pun in any way.
      • The dust in The Lion King actually said "Six", referring to Michael Eisner's favorite Police Academy installment, City Under Siege.
      • Steven Spielberg has a daily calendar item that just says "Don't let them reboot Jaws."
      • Atlantic Rim has the same story and events as Pacific Rim but 3 hours earlier.
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
  • What's one of the very first things they do in the show? Mock Ft. Worth! (Sorry, Ft. Worth.)
  • The running gag of the guys wondering which character is Krull.
  • During one of the many shots of people riding to the castle at the beginning: "This looks like a Monty Python sketch that can't get started."
  • The Running Gag and praise of literal Ensemble Dark Horse Tony, the Corpse-Eating Horse!
  • When Ergo first sees Rell and runs away, frightened by his appearance.
    Mike: Racist!
  • From the Crosses the Line Twice category: "This movie spends more time in caves than a Thai soccer team!"
  • Easily one of the biggest laughs in the entire history of Rifftrax Live happens during a shot of Robbie Coltrane's character:
    Mike: Bears, Polish sausages, Ditka.
  • When the Beast takes Colwyn's form to talk to Lyssa.
    The Beast: Lyssa!
    Mike: [as the Beast] You're tearing me apart!
  • The latest entry in another long-Running Gag.
    Ynyr: I seek the Widow!
    Widow of the Web: Enter here, and die.
    Bill: Golden Corral's new slogan!
  • At point, the Widow of the Web's hourglass is referred to as "Bald Tom Servo", with Kevin then going, "I'M HUGE!"
  • Two jokes carried over from the Space Mutiny show by giving Colwyn the David Ryder-esque name of "Dirk Glaivethrower" and declaring that Colwyn is actually the best film version of the Human Torch to date.
  • The comments on how the "fire mares" are very obviously ordinary horses.

28. Octaman

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Did You Know?
    • Film & TV Quotes
      • "No One Survives 500-Foot Falls Like Gaston..." - Opening Line of Beauty and the Beast 2: Quest for Vengeance
      • "The court rules in favor of the plaintiff." - Groundhog Day 2: Phil Sues Russion Doll for Infringement
      • "You plant that glove or you're off the force, Fuhrman!" - Detective Pikachu 2: This Got Dark in a Hurry
      • "Being Clint Howard isn't easy. Sometimes I wish I weren't Clint Howard. But ultimately I just have to try and be the best Clint Howard I can be." - Clint Howard, The Clint Howard Story
      • "In a world without springs... a man has to find justice, any way he can." - Coily the Spring Sprite's edgy new series
    • HOT / NOT
      Hot: Calling him "Maurice."
      Not: Calling him "the gangster of love."
      Hot: Ecks
      Not: Sever
      Hot: Saying "Not!" a la Wayne's World
      Not: Mim's 2007 hit "This is Why I'm Hot"
      Hot: The YouTube video "Ten EPIC He-Man Toys All 80s Kids Will Remember Pt. 3/13"
      Not: Ready Player One
      Hot: Standing desks
      Not: Screaming desks, which are alive and feel pain
    • Movie Mistakes
      • Actor Bradley Cooper peed his pants during a key scene in A Star Is Born, but they figured nobody would notice so they left it in the movie.
      • The Favourite was nominated for 10 Academy Awards, despite the glaring misspelling of "favorite" in the title. Whatever happened to quality?
      • Vin Diesel as Caillou.
      • That every gritty reboot is not required by law to star Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty.
      • There really aren't that many songs about rainbows, or what's on the other side.
    • Octa-Mania
      • In the Octopus community, Oldboy is considered a snuff film.
      • "No, I'm not Octaman, I'm the octopus drummer from AQUAman. Yeah, no, it's okay, this happens all the time."
      • Octaman is an unlockable character in Super Smash Bros. but only if you bought your copy of the game out of a car trunk behind 7-11.
      • "Octaman got a whole movie? But he doesn't even have an advanced degree!" - Dr. Octopus
    • Spoiler Alert!
      • People will hate the Game of Thrones finale. Not for the way it ends, but because of all the product placement for Hot Pockets and AutoZone.
      • Season 3 of Stranger Things will contain a scene where the kids discuss their favorite recent movies, Places in the Heart and A Passage to India.
      • Howard the Duck is, and has always been, a Skrull in disguise.
      • The upcoming Star Trek show about Captain Picard will explain how a French guy named Jean-Luc became the most British man in the galaxy.
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
      • People are not going to sexualize the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
      • In 1983, Snoopy's brother Spike died on the operating table during plastic surgery (neck lift) and was replaced by a body double.
      • Doogie Howser's qualifications were fabricated and dozens of patients died as a result of his adolescent quackery.
      • Mr. Peanut is the Monopoly man's disgusting abandoned twin.
      • Mr. Bean = D.B. Cooper
      • The guy in Shawshank Redemption wouldn't have put a picture of Raquel Welch in his cell had he known she'd go on to act in Carrot Top's Chairman of the Board.
  • Short - McGruff's Drug Alert
    • Many, many Crosses the Line Twice riffs, no matter one's position on the material presented.
      McGruff: Illegal drugs can kill you, that's why they're illegal!
      Kevin: So stick to nice, safe opioids, kids!
      McGruff: Not even a doctor can prescribe illegal drugs.
      Bill!McGruff: You have to go to the cool doctor for that!
      McGruff: [Continues to prattle on about illegal drugs.]
      Bill!McGruff: And while we're at it, vaccines are a fraud!
      Mike/Kevin: Aaaahhh! He's said too much! Quick, shut him down!
    • The Running Gag of McGruff either being a crazed stalker or drug-induced hallucination.
  • Octaman
    • The movie itself is riddled with so much So Bad, It's Good and Special Effects Failure that half of the laughter came from the riffs while the other half came from the movie being unintentionally funny.
    • Many an Incredibly Lame Pun actually got some big laughs:
      • As Rick calls out for Susan, and the camera cuts to her, Mike quips, "Suddenly, Susan!"
      • During one of the Octaman's attacks, Bill's, "Let's get Kraken!"
      • In another attack, Mike's, "Try taking on these suckas!"
      • And, finally, in a Call-Back to Revenge of the Creature, Bill's, "I egret nothing!"
    • During the interminably-long boat scene:
      Bill: The makers of Manos are looking at this scene and saying, "Yeah, we could have done worse."
    • The riffers' takeaway from the Mood Whiplash after the film cut from Octaman killing a couple of guys to a man strumming a guitar and a couple kissing:
      Bill: An eyes-open kiss?
      Mike: Somehow creepier than the murders we just saw.

29. Star Raiders

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Did You Know?
      • Fueled by jealousy over Hamilton's wild success, Lin-Manuel Miranda's cousin is writing a competing musical about former Vice President Levi P. Morton.
      • F. Murray Abraham has five older brothers, A. Murray Abraham, B. Murray Abraham, C. Murray Abraham, D. Murray Abraham, and E. Murray Abraham.
      • LeBron James's Space Jam 2 is held up by James's insistence that former Vancouver Grizzly Bryant "Big Country" Reeves play multiple roles.
      • The next prestige TV sensation will be a multi-season fantasy epic retelling of the fetch quest from The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening.
      • On U.S. Acres, Wade the Duck was receiving orders to kill from that little duck on his inner tube.
      • Jonah Hill is in talks to star as "Midvale School for the Gifted" Kid in the big screen The Far Side adaptation. (Andy Serkis will be playing all four Cow Tools.)
      • The original title of tonight's feature was Star Raiders: The Adventures of A Talking Cat!?!
    • Film & TV Quotes
      • "I used my unholy powers to make you good at sports, and in return your soul belongs to me. That is the bargain we made." - Satan, Air Bud in Hell
      • "I suggest you cut this Tom Bombadil character." "Never! Bombadil-mania's gonna sweep the country, mark my words!" - Exchange between author and editor in Tolkien
      • "Maybe ask a follow-up question or two next time, idiot!" - The Voice in Field of Dreams to a furious Ray Kinsella after the "he" in "If you build it, he will come" turned out to be an ill-tempered, flea-bitten donkey
      • "Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!" - My Girl 3: Vada Heckles Mr. Magoo
      • "My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today. Oh, and might I add: hurr, hurr, hurr." - Ice Cream Watership Down
    • HOT / NOT
      Hot: Being the owner of a lonely heart.
      Not: Being the owner of a broken heart.
      Hot: Vintage T-shirt stores.
      Not: Vintage Q-tip stores.
      Hot: Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
      Not: Donkey Lipps, Inc, The Kingdom of Far Far Away's premiere Funkytown cover band
    • Movie Mistakes
      • Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the Hulk's pants?
      • Making Pikachu a Detective, when he's OBVIOUSLY more of a hard-boiled police coroner type.
      • Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik.
    • Spoiler Alert!
      • In the newest John Wick movie, John Wick shoots some guys.
      • Look to your left. Look to your right. By 2033 all three of you will have played The Joker in a movie.
      • Toy Story 4 is bound to disappoint audiences with its decision to replace most of the beloved toy characters with Barnyard Commandos.
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
      • If you buried The Addams Family in the graveyard from Pet Sematary, they'd come back as The Munsters.
      • Chris Gaines is the real person, Garth Brooks is the made-up character.
      • Ariel ate Flounder's parents. (They were delicious.)
      • In the end, the real "Game of Thrones" was the friends we made along the way.
      • Goofy served hard time under the Stolen Valor Act of 2013 for embellishing the Goof Troop's military track record.
  • Short - Values: Telling the Truth:
    • The reactions to being told to "Look at their bulging pockets!" after the boys absolutely overload their pants pockets with leftover stones.
  • Film:
    • Much like Krull, the three riffers spend the entire movie trying to figure out exactly which group of characters are the titular Star Raiders.
    • The long-time Running Gag of one of the riffers dictating a US Civil War era style letter returns with older Saber's costume.
      Mike: Mah darlin' Emma. I'm afraid mah career has taken a most calamatous turn!
    • After (yet another) stab at Ft. Worth, we get this addition:
      Fade: If we fail our mission and our king dies, we are honor bound to join him in the afterlife.
      Kevin: Or, even worse, exiled to Ft. Worth!
      Mike: Sorry, Ft. Worth.
      Bill: Shut up, Ft. Worth!
    • One phrase that lampoons Crotalus's name when she introduces herself.
      Mike: Ask your doctor if Crotalus is right for you.
    • Bill's attempt to be fair to the film backfire:
      Bill: Well, you know, for 1992, these effects aren't that bad.
      Mike: This came out eighteen months agonote .
      Bill: Oh, dear God!

30. The Giant Spider Invasion

  • Pre-Show Cards:
    • Did You Know?
      • Doctor Sleep is an upcoming movie based on a Stephen King novel, not the advertising mascot of a mattress company, as one would naturally assume.
      • Amadeus would have been called Wolfgang had it not been released the same year as Wolf Gang, a movie about a naive cub who falls in with the wrong crowd.
      • The true star of Stranger Things is the font.
      • The long-awaited Heathcliff movie is held up by Andy Serkis's salary negotiations to play The Garbage Ape.
      • Originally it was called Raiders FROM The Lost Ark, and the Raiders had moved to Miami because there were too many Raiders in The Lost Ark.
    • Film & TV Quotes
      • "Um... er... er... what I mean is... er... um... that is to say... er... um... er..." - Hugh Grant, any Hugh Grant movie
      • "Sometimes we all need a little Shawshank Redemption." - Andy Durfresne, The Shawshank Redemption
      • "These lies are too Big... and these lies are too Little... but THESE lies are just right!" - Goldilocks, Big Little Lies
      • "Consarnit, I'm a dadgum whippersnapper!" - 70-year-old Benjamin Bulton
      • "Witness me having the horses in the back." - Lil Nas X, Old Town Fury Road
      • "My transmogrifier needs more nitrous!" - Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Calvin
      • "These Hydrox cookies are great! Now let's enjoy a glass of RC Cola and watch some DailyMotion videos using Firefox!" - The Playmobil Movie
    • HOT /NOT
      HOT: How Buster Poindexter is feeling (if you minus two hots)
      NOT: Referencing Buster Poindexter in 2019
      HOT: Biopics of singers
      NOT: Biopics of tubists
      HOT: Midsommar
      NOT: Midwintarr, Oughttamm, and Sprong
      HOT: Movies in Wisconsin
      NOT: Moving to Wisconsin
      HOT: Giant Spider Invasion
      NOT: Giant Spider Dermabrasion
      HOT: 1980s nostalgia
      NOT: 1880s nostalgia (the patenting of earmuffs; the Johnstown Flood)
      HAUTE: Cuisine
      KNOT: Bowline
    • Movie Mistakes
      • The Toy Story movies depict a universe in which little boys get older and stop caring about the stuff they grew up with. Totally unrealistic!
      • Weekend at Bernie's is erroneously named. Bernie is already dead when the main characters arrive and cannot legally own property.
      • Quentin Tarantino's accent in Django Unchained.
      • A scene was included in Avengers: Endgame where a character claimed to miss the New York Mets.
      • Sneaking an entire rotisserie chicken into the theater, then spilling chicken grease on your date, who you refuse to share any chicken with.
      • Kramer vs. Kramer: the Squeakquel
      • The Field of Dreams prequel which focused entirely on Ray Kinsella's attempts to like sitar music.
    • Spoiler Alert!
      • As part of a product placement deal with Capri Sun, the next James Bond movie will contain a scene where 007 stabs a bad guy with one of their tiny yellow straws.
      • Next summer, a classic TV series and a beloved movie will be combined in Stop! Or My Mother the Car Will Shoot.
      • Now that he's done with the MCU, Robert Downey Jr. will be starring in a trilogy of films as his character from 1986's Back to School.
      • The guy in The Pina Colada Song just winds up going on a date with his wife. You don't have to listen to the whole song!
      • It turns out "Rosebud" is the name of the guy's back brace.
      • Tonight's show will feature zero references to the song Baby Shark, so don't worry! It can't possibly get stuck in your head!
      • HBO will release all deleted scenes from Game of Thrones, but it's just people traveling from place to place and trying to find villages with decent bathrooms.
    • Unpopular Fan Theories
      • Admiral Ackbar was utterly incompetent and only rose to the highest ranks of the Rebel Alliance using his charm and raw sexuality.
      • Mayor McCheese had a hand in the death of his political rival County Chairman McRibsauce.
      • Every night, after the family went to bed, Marmaduke would sneak out, paint some spots on himself, hop into the Mystery Machine, and become Scooby-Doo.
      • Live-action Disney films like Aladdin and The Lion King will eventually be remade as fun, colorful cartoons!
      • Marvel Films will finally get the Fantastic Four right when they cast Alec, Stephen, Daniel, and William: yes that's right, the Baldwin brothers!
      • Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey should have taken a Donner Party-esque turn.
      • In Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, director Quentin Tarantino required every actor to keep their orifices packed with gold watches.
      • Mr. McFly should have made Biff wash the car naked.
      • Terry Silver, the ponytailed CEO villain in Karate Kid 3, should be the villain in every movie (we agree with this theory).
  • Short: Adventures in Telezonia
    • The fact that the puppettering work in the short has not aged well at all leads to many unintentionally hilarious Unintentional Uncanny Valley moments when many of the puppets, especially Handy, have downright inappropriate expressions for the current scene.
    • The Big-Lipped Alligator Moment courtesy of the dog catcher's searching for Bounce resulting in the last dog he checks being a puppet for no explanable reason.
  • The Giant Spider Invasion
    • Summarizing the character of Dan Kester in one sentence:
      Bill: It's like if Deliverance was a person!
    • Kevin hoping that a regular-sized spider crawling up Dan's leg bites him, because he "would love to see this guy enter the Spider-Verse."
      Mike: Spider-Ham, you've been hittin' the booze again!
    • The Running Gag of the sheriff being a Bunny-Ears Lawyer who constantly prays he never has to get up out of his chair or, heaven forbid, leave his office!note 
    • Mike just barely managing to avoid Corpsing as he turns one of the sheriff's Parrot Exposition scenes into directions for a slow, detailed Ass Shove with the device used to destroy the spiders.
    • The glorious return of the "Packers!" Running Gag from the MST3K version.

    Live Shows 31 - 40 

31. Hobgoblins

  • When Mike, Kevin and Bill first come on stage, there's a Hobgoblin doll sitting on a chair. Kevin gives it a peck on the cheek.
  • The infamous "Everybody have sex tonight!" moment gets a new riff:
    Mike: Well, you heard her, audience. Better get to it.
  • When Daphne and Nick are boinking in the van in the background:
    Bill: Sex: It sounds like a cartoon bear on a pogo stick.
  • When Daphne is outside and Kyle is dancing in the house in the background:
    Bill: Meanwhile, the guy inside is being chased by bees.
  • As our heroes climb into Nick's van to leave Club Scum, somehow not noticing the Hobgoblins clearly sitting next to them in the back:
    Kevin: (As Kevin) All right, "Bohemian Rhapsody". Hobgoblins, you take the "Galileo"s!
    Bill: (As Hobgoblin) OK, boss! OK.
  • When the sign for Club Scum is shown: "Golden Corral's new NAME."

32. Amityville: The Evil Escapes

33. The Return of Swamp Thing

  • When the two kids hide the porno mags under the couch because someone's at the door, they riff this is the old equivalent of deleting your browser history.
  • In an absolutely stunning moment of being accidentally callous, Heather Locklear and Swamp Thing are walking through the swamp and he remarks that the area used to be housing for slaves. She then responds with "I can't imagine how anyone could be sad in this place!" and the guys absolutely lose their shit in horror, with Mike stating, "Yeah, I wonder how slaves could be sad about anything!" It's so absurd that the audience laughs incredulously for a good several seconds after the line is uttered.
  • They frequently poke fun at the fact that the two lead characters, who are supposed to be our heroes, do not hesitate to messily slaughter their opposition in the final act where they blow up the lab. They literally gun down the Mooks with automatic weapons or run them over in the Jeep. And don't question why the female lead can accurately operate automatic weapons...

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