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Quotes / Even Evil Has Standards

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    Anime & Manga 
"I should kill you right now! You're a goddamn embarrassment to this family, and you WILL apologize to Sando-san for this!"
Yoshida to Chaka, Black Lagoon

"They may all look the same to you, but there are different kinds and different levels of evil. A first-class villain doesn't target honest lives. [...] Fine, now is a good time to teach you something: even villains have standards!"
Accelerator, A Certain Magical Index

"I'm a villain, not a monster!"
Emperor Pilaf, Dragon Ball Super

"You try to take a lesser being you despised as your container, just to escape your own predicament. You... are hideous."

Yumie: Hey, how about we tie [Integra] up and take her away with us? That would work!
Heinkel: I want to shoot her!!
Integra: I can hear you, you know. They want to tie me up, or shoot me. What is it that you want, Anderson?
Anderson: What do you think? Teaming up against an unarmed woman to do God knows what to her? We're paladins, not rapists!

"I've never been known for my refined tastes, but you sicken even me."

"Dio is somewhere in this town! I can't forgive that bastard! I steal things, but he steals life!"
Robert E.O. Speedwagon, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood

"It's rare that I ever feel repulsed by others, but Cioccolata is the worst piece of shit on the face of the earth. He'll probably make a mess of Rome before he's done."

"What kind of monster have I created? No matter how evil you become, you never strike a child! I mean sure, you make them do a few million sit-ups or else there won't be supper, but you never, ever hit them!"

"I would never do such a despicable thing!"
Laharl when Hoggmeiser (Zenisky) accuses him of stealing the Demon Tome in Makai Senki Disgaea

"We may mean to do harm, but we're sort of cute by comparison, aren't we, Killer?"
Eustass Kidd, One Piece

"I know we're supposed to be bad guys... but I can't let those cute little creatures get hurt!"
Jessie upon seeing a herd of Mareep being attacked, Pokémon

"Team Rocket may be rotten cheaters, but we're not in the business of destroying children's dreams!"
James, Pokémon

"I don't like the way you attacked Chris and Cosmo! It's one thing to take them prisoner and threaten them, but when you actually hurt somebody, that's going too far!"
Doctor Eggman to Black Narcissus, Sonic X

Elder!Toguro: "No... I'm your brother! We sold our souls together!! Yet you would do this... to me?!"
Younger!Toguro: "So it goes... brother." (Elder!Toguro is sent flying off with a Megaton Punch, landing in the ocean). "I never sold my standards."
Yu Yu Hakusho, after Younger!Toguro finally gets fed up with his older brother.

"Enough, Spopovich! This isn't what we came here to do. Ring out the girl and finish this match."
Yamu calling Spopovich out on his No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of Videl, Dragon Ball Z

    Comic Books 
"I am The God Of War. The God Of Slaughter. Even The God Of Murder. But I am NOT the god of sadism!"
Ares, Dark Avengers: Ares #3

"The Kingpin has rules — rules which you would do well to memorize. Among these rules is one stipulating that we do not touch another man's wife for any reason — ever."

"When villains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories."
The Trickster, Underworld Unleashed

"Murdering slaves? Have you no scruples, mercenary?"

"What they're doing...I mean, I done some bad things. I did bad things to women. I shot kids! In 'Nam I shot kids. But I never did anything mother of God forgive me. What's funny? What's so goddamned funny! I don't get it. Somebody explain it to me."
The Comedian, Watchmen

"If it's over for us, then I can accept going down in this twisted world. The Crime Syndicate promised us a world of "forever evil"...... But who the hell wants that garbage?! Not the Rogues. When the Syndicate gets their heads handed to them- and they will- I hope people remember that the Rogues didn't have no part in their crazy. We had our own little rebellion against those evil bastards. And if I have to go, at least I did my best to keep you safe. I want you to know, that even in the end we went down like a team...we didn't break our code for no one. Goodbye, baby. I hope when you wake up it's to sunshine and a better world than we left for you. Goodbye, Lisa...I love you."
Sam Scudder/Mirror Master, Forever Evil: Rogues Rebellion

You're too crazy even for some crackpot Nazi holdouts! How's that feel?
Hellboy on von Klempt's zombie army project being rejected by said crackpot Nazi holdouts, Hellboy And The BPRD 1952


    Comic Strips 
Interviewer: We're looking for a special kind of employee, Wally. Specifically, we like people with low self-esteem. That way we can bully them into working unpaid overtime. Do you think you're insecure enough to work here?
Wally: Let me put it this way. Sometimes I pretend to choke in the cafeteria... then when someone performs the Heimlich maneuver on me I spin around suddenly... just to get a hug.
Interviewer is wide-eyed and no longer smiling. Smash Cut to later in the company cafeteria.
Alice: Did he really say you're over-qualified?

"I thought your uninformed outrage would be useful in my eternal struggle to avoid taxation! I didn't realize you were a nihilistic moron willing to crash the entire economy!"
Plutocrat Pete to Tea Party Tim, on his plan to force the government to default to control spending, This Modern World

    Fan Works 
"She scanned the canyon floor and quickly found what she was looking for, an ancient dwelling carved into the cliff face by the mysterious Anasazi a millennia ago. Carmen had initially scouted Eagle Rock, but ultimately ruled it out; it was considered sacred to the Hopi people and a superstitious part of her was still inclined to give Native American holy sites a wide berth. If it were within Carmen's power, she would have taken the entire 270 mile long canyon to add to her collection of Natural Wonders of the World. But such a feat of engineering would have been beyond even what Sara at her most brilliant could manage. Besides, damaging an entire ecosystem did not sit well with her unique moral code. The cliff dwelling at Nankoweap Creek seemed like a fine compromise."
Canyon, a Carmen Sandiego fanfic

"B-But what if it's true love?! I know I hate their band, but I can't possibly expose them! I'm not a monster! I'm, like, the coolest most perfect sister in the whole world!"

"I every now and then do satanic rituals with Harry (Oh, I understand now. Satanic Rituals = intercourse.) every now and then because we are both Bisexuals, meaning that we have sex with both boys and girls, but I don't do it with Ron because it is incest. Even Satanists have standards. (Somehow, I don't believe a person would talk about themselves in such a self-condescending manner)."
Ginny Weasley, The Prayer Warriors, lampshading this trope (before subverting it) with IHeartThomasBrown commenting on the lampshading

"He tended to be highly unethical, and his morals were virtually non-existent, but there were some things he did draw the line at. He found the idea of putting his mouth on a kid for any reason besides applying the Curse Seal and CPR — which he'd had to perform a distressingly large number of times — to be rather reprehensible."
Orochimaru in Reactions, regarding shipping Kakashi with Naruto.

"It is the beginnings of a purge. I will not pretend that the Terran Dominion is out for much beyond its own interests, but I despise pointless cruelty, meaningless hate. Vengeance... I have supped on vengeance. But what they're doing is zealotry, and they're doing it in the name of the human race."

"Private Josef Grigorovich. (SMASH) Abandoning your assigned post. (SMASH) Drawing a weapon on a superior officer. (SMASH) Resisting justice. (SMASH) Sexual assault on a prisoner of war. Uniform Code of Brotherhood Justice Section Two, Line Twenty-Seven: "Any form of sexual assault of any kind by a member of the Brotherhood is considered a Class One Offense against the Messiah, punishable by summary execution." (CRASH)"
Brother-Captain Allen of the Black Hand, Tiberium Wars

"I should kill you now, for the Queen. But I am a samurai, and even a dark samurai is bound by a certain honor, and that means no killing the person who just saved your life."
Hebi, passing up an opportunity to kill Jackie, Queen of All Oni

"Wow, I've killed a lot of people, but I never coerced a five-year-old into provoking somebody into torturing her so I could get my jollies playing with her power. Most Evil Person In The Car Award goes to Addy."
Maggie, Radiance

It was extremely hard to disgust Sasori.
"We are happy," the Hyuuga woman passing by him smiled.
Having faced many horrors in his career and committed many crimes personally, it was hard to surprise him. He himself thought he couldn't be astonished by anything, after transforming humans into puppets or brainwashing people for information.
"Utopia is a perfect place," a man grinned spinning lazily a short distance away from him. "We are at peace."
But these… these things were on another level entirely.
"We love Alpha," the mindless drones whispered. "She's protecting us. We are safe."
"No will, individuality annihilated," Sasori growled, eying the people surrounding him. He and Orochimaru had found Utopia, an underground garden, illuminated by an artificial sun.
And they had met its denizens. "No memory, destroyed. No soul, reduced to rubble."

    Films — Animation 
"We've done a lot of things we're not proud of... robbing graves, plundering tombs, double-parking... but nobody ever got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt... but nobody we knew."

Nyra: Oh, Allomere. Is it different when you see the consequences of your betrayal?
Allomere: (watches in discomfort) Must it be bats that bleed them?

"Using that little girl as a shield... This is low, even for you!
Dr. Jumba Jookiba talking about Stitch, Lilo & Stitch

"Oh, god! She's killing blind orphans! That's so...evil! I mean, which is great, but—blind orphans?"
Igor, Igor

Ra's Al-Ghul: I'm afraid I overestimated my abilities to control The Joker, just as I underestimated his madness. It grieved me so to be a party of something so brutal.
Batman: You never shied away from drawing blood.
Ra's Al-Ghul: True. But always with purpose. Always with greater goals. This was simply an unnecessary casualty.
Ra's Al-Ghul expressing his resentment over The Joker killing Jason Todd, Batman: Under the Red Hood

    Films — Live-Action 
Goldmember: Dr. Evil! Can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.

Ava: We'll make them bring the lab back.
Foster: How?
Ava: Lang. He has a daughter, right?
Foster: You can't mean that. Ava, I tolerate a lot of the things you do out there, but I won't be a part of anything like that.
Ava: You're not the one who's about to fade away into nothing, Bill! I am! You said you could fix me! You promised.
Foster: I know. I will. But not like that. You lay one finger on that little girl, I won't help you, and we're done.

Walter: Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it's an ethos.

"He was supposed to get this package! Tampering with the mail is a federal offense!"
Chucky, Child's Play 3

"I despise rapists. For me, you're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty."
Cyrus the Virus, Con Air, to Johnny 23

"This is the moment to be practical, until such time as Germany can afford your philosophy — which is what? Hound them, impoverish, exploit them, imprison them, just do not kill them and you are God's noblest of men? I find that... truly remarkable."
Reinhard Heydrich to Dr. Wilhelm Kritzinger, Conspiracy (2001)

Sal Maroni: This craziness, it's too much.
Commissioner Gordon: You should have thought about that before you let the clown out of the box.
Sal Maroni: You want him? I can tell you where he’ll be this afternoon.

John McClane: There never was a bomb [in a school], was there?
Simon Gruber: Of course not. I'm a soldier, not a monster...even though I sometimes work for monsters.

"You don't kill people you don't know! That's a rule!"
Joe "Mental" Mentalino, Dumb and Dumber

"Go home, Kate. I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fuckin' bastard."
Seth Gecko, From Dusk Till Dawn

Roxy: You're seriously not interested in me at all as a girlfriend?
Frank: What the hell are you talking about? I'm not a pedophile.
Roxy: So we're platonic spree killers?

Gef: Hey, what about this little plantnote ? Can I smash it with a rock?
Taserface: No, Gef; it's too adorable to kill. Take it to the tailor!

Arthur: We were friends. I could have helped them, but the Nazis paid too well. Can I trust that you will keep what you learned here today confidential, despite whatever you may think? (offers Madeline a check)
Madeline: Yes, Arthur. (accepts the check) Well, I'd love to tell you what a monster you are, but I have to help Bin Laden's nephew buy a co-op on Park Avenue.
Arthur: (laughs) If that were true, you wouldn't tell me.
Madeleine: We're listing you as a reference.

"Jesus Christ, I'm not THAT evil!"
The Motherfucker refuses to shoot someone's dog, Kick-Ass 2

Neville Sinclair: C'mon, Eddie. I'm paying you well. Does it really matter where the money comes from?
Eddie Valentine: It matters to me. I may not make an honest buck, but I'm 100% American, and I don't work for no two-bit Nazi. Let her go!

"Two little kids in a car...this is so fucking bad...this is so fucking bad... Make you feel good, to kill a mother and her kids? Make you feel big? You big man! Fuck you, what do you think I am?! You think I'll kill two kids and a woman? Fuck that! I don't need that shit in my life! YOU DIE, MOTHERFUCKER! *shoots the would-be hitman* What do you think I am, huh?! What you think I am, a fucking worm like you?!... I told you, no fucking kids! But you wouldn't listen! Well, you stupid fuck, look at you now!"
Tony Montana seals his fate, Scarface (1983)

"I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid. ...but eating people alive? Where's that get fun?"
Jayne, Serenity

"I didn't attack your sister, I swear. I may be a sinner, but not a savage."
Thiago Santo, FalconRising

Jake: He's a prisoner of war. We don't kill prisoners.
Visser One: No. Of course not. You merely blow up ground-based Yeerk pools and kill thousands. And then another seventeen thousand of our brothers here on this ship. Defenseless, harmless, unhosted Yeerks. Murdered. But you don't kill prisoners.

"Artemis Fowl did not like whalers. There were less objectionable ways to obtain oil by-products."

"I am evil, but I am not cruel to animals. There's a special Hell reserved for those who are."
— The demon Azzie, Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming

"Once he had been able to afford the largest branch of the Assassins' Guild outside Ankh-Morpork, and its members were so busy that you sometimes had to wait for months.
But the assassins had all left years ago. Some things sicken even jackals."

"Like many people with no actual morals, Lord Downey did have standards, and Teatime repelled him."

"Gilt and Vetinari shared a look. It said: While I loathe you and every aspect of your personal philosophy to a depth unplummable by any line, I'll credit you at least with not being Crispin Horsefry."

"There are some things that are unthinkable: there are some depths that not even demons would believe other demons would stoop to."

"Like petty criminals everywhere, the watchmen prided themselves that there were some depths to which they would not sink. There had to be some things below you, even if it was only mudworms."

"The Guild of Assassins had a code of honour as well as rules; it was an odd code, carefully constructed to fit their needs, but it was a code nonetheless. You didn't kill the unprotected, or servants, you did it up close, and you kept your word. This was appalling."

We do not murder.
We do not execute. We do not massacre. We never, you may be very certain, we never torture. We have no truck with crimes of passion or hatred or pointless gain. We do not do it for a delight in inhumation, or to feed some secret inner need, or for petty advantage, or for some cause or belief; I tell you, gentlemen, that all these reasons are in the highest degree suspect. Look into the face of a man who will kill you for a belief and your nostrils will snuff up the scent of abomination. Hear a speech declaring a holy war and, I assure you, should catch the clink of evil's scales and the dragging of its monstrous tail over the purity of the language.
No, we do it for the money.
And, because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money.
Nile mortifi, sine lucre. Remember. No killing without payment.
And always give a receipt.
Dr. Cruces, head of the Assassin's Guild, Pyramids

"I haven't found one single explanation of what Horcruxes do! Not a single one! I've been right through the restricted section and even in the most horrible books, where they tell you how to brew the most gruesome potions - nothing! All I could find was this, in the introduction to Magick Moste Evile. Listen — "Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction." I mean, why mention it, then?"

"They may have been super villains, but they had limits."
Joshua Dread

"I do men. I do women. I don't discriminate. I don't do kids. That's a different kind of psycho."
Spademan, Shovel Ready

"I'm a thief," he said, "just like you are. We don't fuck kids."
"I know that," I said.
"Some of our guys, they're a little crazy. Like B.T. He'd stab a nigger just to stay in practice, you know?"
"I know."
"But none of us would do little kids."
Neo-Nazi leader to Burke, Strega

She had become in my mind, if not daughter, then student, protégé. I had grown both fond and proud of her. She was ever-curious, ever-learning. Writing new songs that made the children do things – tear the wings from butterflies, snarl like wild dogs, hold hands and disappear off into the forest without a thought. Children were the hardest to enthrall, and yet they would do anything for her. They practically begged.
She played, and the children turned, mouths pressing together, such soft, tiny mouths. Perfect rosebuds. She played and their small bodies moved together, removed the air between them.
"Stop!" I had to push her off my lap so hard that her music flared and then faltered.
"But..." She pushed her lip out, near tears. Her mole slid, as though it was melting against her skin.
I took a softer tone. I didn't mean to scare her. I didn't mean to scare myself.
"You can't make people do those things," I said. "There is a line, a line of..." Of what? I didn’t know.
Trill, a short story by Shanna Germain

Miles: This man — you apparently don't know — was cashiered from the Barrayaran Imperial Service for brutality.
Oser: From the Barrayaran Service? That must have taken some doing.

"Even on Barrayar," he said mildly, "no human being can own another..."

Once, in the time of the Therin Throne, the [Gentling] process was used to punish criminals, but it has been centuries since any civilized Therin city-state allowed the use of Wraithstone on men and women. A society that still hangs children for petty theft and feeds prisoners to sea-creatures finds the results too disquieting to bear.

Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story might not be quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one's first feeling, 'Thank God, even they aren't quite so bad as that,' or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies are as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker. If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black. Finally we shall insist on seeing everything — God and our friends and ourselves included — as bad, and not be able to stop doing it: we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred.
C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

When an international financier is confronted by a holdup man with a gun, he automatically hands over not only his money and jewelry but also his shirt and pants, because it doesn't occur to him that a robber might draw the line somewhere.
Nero Wolfe, Over My Dead Body

And maybe it sounds strange coming from me — ludicrous that I, Leo James, fraud that I am, would ever have cared about any of these things, of have let them bother me enough to spoil my joi de vivre. But look at my life: in the seventies, I did what everyone else did — I slacked off and dropped out. In the eighties, too, I did what everyone else did - I tried to get rich. I've always been a child of my age, I've always gone with the crowd. I would have liked to fit in with the Howard age, too. But for once, I couldn't. It was too hollow. Too grating.
Underground, by Andrew McGahan

Johnny Marcone: [on two recent assassinations] It was business.
Miss Gard: And the fact that one of them was pushing heroin to thirteen-year-old girls and the other was pimping them out had nothing to do with it.
Gard: You don't respect Morelli.
Johnny Marcone: Perhaps not.
Gard: Then why?
Johnny Marcone: They were in my territory. They broke my rule.
Gard: No children.
Johnny Marcone: No children.

Nick: You know, for a Con Man, you sure have a strict moral code.
Gerry: The key part of con man is the word 'man'. You have to have empathy with your fellow human beings or you're just a sociopath, and they make the shittiest con men alive.

When the antidote kicked in and Theodolphus could breathe again, he saw his napkin had the sigil of the Nameless Order on it, with an ornate mark that more or less said, Hey, remember, we don't kill kids anymore. Okay?

"George, when you die, be sure to go to Heaven. We can do without your sort where I come from."
The Demon Chardonay, Paint Your Dragon

    Live-Action TV 
"In Gaffney, people called it the ‘War of Northern Aggression.' I personally take no pride in the Confederacy: Avoid wars you can’t win, and never raise your flag for an asinine cause like slavery."
Frank Underwood on his Southern heritage, House of Cards (US)

Senator Powell: You have a young daughter, named Georgia, who is about 10 years old. Has little Georgia seen your film entitled Ripcord, which contains 357 acts of violence, 175 profanities, and 4 scenes of lesbian sex? She proud of her daddy for that one?! How can you look that sweet little girl in the eye?
Peter Dragon: I manage. I never voted to subsidize the growing of tobacco, while turning my back on food programs for starving kids. I've never vetoed a gun control bill. All my guns are fake, Senator! I've never rushed to the defense of Kuwaiti oil fields, while ignoring genocide in Africa, because big oil companies that line your fat pockets aren't concerned with black Africa. Those are all productions of your company Senator, this company right here!

"There is nothing I hate more than a racist."

"Sweetie, when even I'm offended, you know you've gone too far."
Paige Michalchuk referring to her best friend Hazel's racism, Degrassi

Topher: See these dark areas? How they extend all the way out to here? You know why that looks like that? That's because Terry Karrens doesn't use that part of his brain. And that'd be where you find stored such things as empathy, compassion, an aversion to disemboweling puppies. Basically, this is what some of your more famous serial killers' brains look like.
DeWitt: You are quite certain of this?
Topher: Certain enough so that I have serious ethical problems with trying to wake him up.
Boyd: Topher has ethical problems... Topher!
Topher: Heh. Way to land it.

"Just because a guy makes a living breaking into other people's apartments doesn't mean he likes kiddie porn."

"28 million dead?! Couldn't we just wound some of them?"
Quark, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Business As Usual"

"This isn't Wall Street, this is Hell! We have a little something called integrity!"
Crowley to a subordinate who's been breaking deals, Supernatural

"I'm evil. That's just tacky."
Crowley finds out that a minion's been running a sex slavery ring in his name, Supernatural

Omar: Man, don't get it twisted, I do some dirt too. But I ain't never put my gun on anybody who wasn't in the game.
Bunk: A man must have a code.
Omar: Oh, no doubt.

"Nigga kill motherfuckers just 'cause he can. Not cause they snitchin', not 'cause it's business, 'cause... this shit just come natural to him. I mean, Little Kevin is GONE! This nigga don't feel nuthin'. And all them motherfuckers in them row houses... nobody means a fucking thing to him! Fuck Marlo, man, fuck him! And anybody that thinks it's all right to do people this way!"

"I'm not an animal. I mean, sure, I'll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me, but after that I'm all about a woman's rights. I'm a modern, 13th century man."
King Richard, Galavant

Hey, man, Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know and he always wore his seat belt.

"Well yeah, of course I'm upset, Seth! I mean, I'm the Prince of Darkness, but I'm not a monster!"
The Devil (Jason Sudeikis), on learning about the Penn State scandal, Saturday Night Live

A man, once, he comes to my shop with a deer. He wants me to cut off the head for seven dollars. So I offer to butcher the animal: venison steak, sausage, rump roast. [...] This man, this farshtinkener piece of shit, he's not interested in the meat. So I ask him how he come to kill this deer. And he tells me that his friend does the shootin', so that he can have the trophy: a head to hang on his wall. For this alone you kill? To brag to your friends how you've slain this beautiful animal?
Manny Horvitz, Boardwalk Empire, "Two Boats And A Lifeguard,"

''Yes, as through this world I've wandered
I've seen lots of funny men;
Some will rob you with a six-gun,
And some with a fountain pen.
And as through your life you travel,
Yes, as through your life you roam,
You won't never see an outlaw
Drive a family from their home.

    Pro Wrestling 
"Hogan, you’ve dropped to new levels now. You're the lowest piece of life I've ever seen."
Bobby Heenan after Hulk Hogan spray painted NWO on Miss Elizabeth's back.

"You see, me and you know each other very well indeed, don't we? Let me give you people a little history lesson. Eleven years ago, me and you were a tag team in WCW. In fact, I was your mentor, wasn't I? Yes indeed, I was. What can I say? I mean, let's face facts. Some people, people like us, we're just born naughty. We are. That's why we gravitated towards each other. And if you would've used and abused anyone else instead of that poor dear boy, Eugene, I would've applauded your cunning. But for a clever man like yourself, it was very foolish to take advantage of a disadvantaged boy, because now you've made an enemy out of me! And if you want to fight, look no bloody further, because I will quite gladly now go and change into my ring attire, and I will join you back in that ring, and I will battle you with every ounce of violent venom that runs through my veins!!"

    Tabletop Games 
"I have seen planes leveled and all life rendered to dust. It brought no pleasure, even to a heart as dark as mine."
Sorin Markov, Magic: The Gathering, "Day of Judgment" note 

"Given free reign, the Destroyers would leave behind nothing; not life, nor art, nor glory. Only dust would remain. I am a soulless machine, yet even I feel pity for their victims."
Szarekh, Last of the Silent Kings, Warhammer 40,000

"You" <PUNCH> "do not" <KICK> "steal from" <STAMP> "the temples of Shallya."
— "A Talabheim thief, explaining professional ethics to a colleague" in Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay

"I dare do all that becomes a man; Who dares more is none."

Mortimer Brewster: Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? There are twelve men down in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them.
Aunt Abby Brewster: Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib!

    Video Games 
Charname: What is it you do for Isaea?
Barg: Pirating, of course. Oh, the others'll be all quiet about it, but I'm right proud. Keeps them merchants on their toes. Of course, that Isaea is into other things too, but me and the boys don't go in for slavery and such.

Garrosh Hellscream: What you have done here, Sylvanas... it goes against the laws of nature. Disgusting is the only word I have to describe it.
Sylvanas Windrunner: Warchief! Without these new Forsaken, our people would die out. Our hold upon Gilneas and Northern Lordaeron would crumble!
Garrosh: Have you given any thought to what this means, Sylvanas? What difference is there between you and the Lich King now?
Sylvanas: Isn't it obvious, Warchief? I serve the Horde.
Garrosh: Watch your clever mouth, bitch.

"The other Princes don't like him that much. I mean, even Malacath is more popular at parties, and Malacathnote  is not popular at parties."
Sheogorath describing Jyggaleg, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

"There's gotta be a limit, kid. Y'know, a point where even assholes like us say, "Enough is e-fuckin'-nough.""
Michael, Grand Theft Auto V

Teisel Bonne: Listen up everyone! I want you to take everything that isn't nailed down, you hear me?! I mean everything! I don't want there to even be a toothpick left, got it?!
Servbot 1: Master Tiesel, we've taken all the food and supplies and loaded them onto the ship!
Servbot 2: What should we do with the toilet paper?
Teisel Bonne: We may be pirates, but we're not barbarians. We'll let them keep the toilet paper.
— The Bonnes' raid on Saul Kada village, Mega Man Legends 2

"This is messed up. I'm all for being evil, but this is just overkill."

"I wouldn't even do that. And I've done some mean stuff, believe me! Ask Kamek!"
Bowser about Olly's plan to commit genocide on all the Toads, Paper Mario: The Origami King

"That is some (bleep)ed-up (bleep), man!"

Sonic: I can't figure you out. One second you're contemplating genocide, and the next you're saving one of your worst enemies!
Dr. Eggman: I'm a complicated guy.

Gorilla Grodd: Humans must disgust you.
Superman: Those who harm them do.
Gorilla Grodd: How do you not see the irony?!

Going after the Regime was one thing, but destroy the planet for Brainiac? You really thought I'd go through with it, Grodd? Really?! [BLEEP] YOU!
Captain Cold during his Ladder Ending, Injustice 2

"We are not committing war crimes."
Light Side Imperial Player Character, Star Wars: The Old Republic

Malavai Quinn: Broonmark, Baras has no quarrel with you. Join us, and he will welcome you to the fold.
Broonmark: You insult us. We do not betray. Our vow is forever. Our vow is always.

Killer the Butcher: It's a good day! Gizzar! Bring me wine! We drink to the Emperor of Vega!
Gizzar: Gyoy, Butcher!
Killer: Bareta, prepare me a new Mechaboost!
Bareta: Gyoy, Butcher.
Killer: All belongs to Gaizock. To me, Killer the Butcher. Hoh hoh hoh! Resist me with all your might, earthlings! Hoh hoh hoh hoh! Mwohohohohohoho!
Gandal: (Emperor Vega, this man... he's too dangerous...)
Emperor Vega: (Mm. Yes, we may have signed a deal with the devil.)
Killer: Hoh hohohoho! Bwohohohohohohohohohoho!

"Nothing stokes my ire like a cheater. Deception, duplicity, murder — these are merely tools in a toolbox one can use to ensure a job done well. But cheating? I cannot even wrap my head around the point of it. Wouldn't you know you had cheated? How on Earth could you maintain crisp certainty of your superiority to all others? And if you're unable to do that, what's the point of anything?"
The Administrator, Team Fortress 2's Official Blog

Not a "crazed gunman," Dad, I'm an assassin... Well the difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!"
The Sniper on the phone with his parents, Team Fortress 2: "Meet the Sniper"

Gerald Robotnik was a true genius and my hero, but did he really want to destroy the world?
Doctor Eggman, Sonic Adventure 2

"I may dwell in the dark, but I refuse to be judged by your standards, traitor! I hope your "friends" give you what's coming to you."
Skull Face to Huey Emmerich, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

"You've lost your mind."
Monsoon to Raiden's Jack the Ripper Persona, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

"You and I are not the same, are we? This SOUL resonates with a strange feeling. There is a reason you continue to recreate this world. There is a reason you continue to destroy it. You. You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality. Hmm. I cannot understand these feelings any more. Despite this. I feel obligated to suggest. Should you choose to create this world once more. Another path would be better suited."
Undertale, The Fallen Child, at the end of your second Kill 'Em All run

"Right. That's it. I had my fun, Jack, so I shall leave you with this one final piece of wisdom that your plasticine face will surely ignore: Kill yourself. Darling, I'm evil. Let's not kid ourselves, but you. You're just something else entirely. You're far better off opening the throat beneath that ludicrously soul-patched face than suffer the bloody karma that I imagine the universe has in store for you. And with that, I shall bid you adieu. Additionally, your breath smells like farts."
Lady Aurelia Hammerlock to Handsome Jack, Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!

"I may be the Team Skull boss, and I've never been scared of nothing or nobody, but... that lady... she's on another level! She's way far gone! She lost her mind over these Ultra Beasts. There's no talking to her, no reasoning with her... She's just gone..."
Guzma, concerning Lusamine, Pokémon Sun and Moon

"That can't be! [My grandfather] betrayed his own people for research?! For Black Doom?!"
Dr. Eggman, Shadow the Hedgehog

D'Vorah: Kano.
Kano: Hello, my lovely.
D'Vorah: You repulse us, hideous one.

Shinnok: You offend me, creature.
Ferra: We 'fend, then rend!
Shinnok: The Khan will thank me for this.
—Match Intro dialogue from Mortal Kombat X.

Goda: I gotta sympathize with ya... Puttin' up with this chump's games.
*Goda slices Sengoku open with his katana*
Sengoku: Y-You crazy fuck!
Goda: Naw, just a man willin' to do what it takes, same as you. But takin' a kid hostage? That's pretty low.

"I can't believe you went in there, now wash your hands, you filthy bear!"

This is the most modern of the creatures, using a means of execution far too scientific to have ever taken place during my time: the people of modern times call it "lethal injection." Even I find this perversion of medical science upsetting, because it is so extremely cold and calculated. My own patients may not have had a terribly high survival rate, but my experimental work was done in the name of science. My patients' deaths were not because I perverted medicine with the express intent of snuffing out their lives.
Dr Killjoy, The Suffering

Ghost: They were chanting in an archaic form, about a priest - Nokris - and how he was labeled a heretic.
Zavala: What could possibly qualify as heretical for the Hive?

Vlad, smashing malls is one thing. Stealing tiaras is one thing. But NUKES?!
Bain, Payday 2

"Miss, it's okay. You're safe now. We're bad men, but... we ain't them."
Arthur Morgan to Sadie Adler on the O'Driscoll gang, Red Dead Redemption II

Kollector: There is no profit in what you do.
The Joker: It's not about profit, it's about fun.
Kollector: There is no fun either.
—- Mortal Kombat 11, match intro

Duvalie: You seem to have greatly miscontrued my reason for being here. The mission assigned to me was to watch this fortress fall. No one ever said anything about protecting you.
Duke Albarea: What...? Watch this fortress fall?! You thought to abandon me the moment you arrived?!
Duvalie: Very much so. Those were Duke Cayenne and Lord Rufus' orders, you see. Besides, my lord would never forgive the odious crimes you have committed... and quite frankly, neither can I. You should be weeping with gratitude I haven't taken my sword to you myself.

    Visual Novels 
Miles Edgeworth: You said repeatedly during your testimony that you despise traitors above all else. But what if the traitor was your own client? What would you do then?
Shelly de Killer: That's easy. I would break our contract immediately. And then...that client would become my next target. For the honor of the de Killer name, even if it takes an eternity… I would follow that person to the ends of the earth to exact my punishment.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All

"Ugly. Aah, how ugly is a woman drowning in lust...! This is this woman's true nature!! Even I, as a witch who has explored the depths of evil, find this most difficult to watch!!"
Beatrice as Rosa Ushiromiya verbally attacks her own daughter, Umineko: When They Cry

"Kyeeha—! No, even I can't laugh at that."
Genocide Jack when the mastermind reveals the Awful Truth of the Deadly Game the high school students are forced to play, Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc

    Web Animation 
"I gotta tell you, I'm a evil supervillain hellbent on destroying the world, but this is pret-ty fucked up."
Dr. Havoc, to Super Jamal, Dr. Havoc's Diary, "Black Superhero"

Sienna: Adam. I’m not going to repeat myself, so I want you to listen when I tell you that the White Fang will not attack Haven Academy.
Adam: High Leader Khan, I am begging you.
Sienna: You should beg for forgiveness and nothing else! The assault you led on Beacon was not the great victory you clearly think it was, and you should be more grateful your punishment was not more severe. You are a symbol for many in our organization, but that doesn’t make you infallible.
Adam: I was merely trying to follow your example, High Leader.
Sienna: And what example might that be?
Adam: Strength. Strength and unwavering conviction. The humans have seen that strength now.
Sienna: I was one of the first to suggest violence where violence was necessary. Peace bred complacency and acceptance of our place in the world. I will not allow humanity to push us down without pushing them back. But the destruction of the Huntsman Academies crosses a line! The loss of the CCT has brought global communication to a crawl! And the White Fang is more of a target now than ever before! You have justified humanity’s campaign against us, and for what?! Empty promises from a group of humans? Humans we still know nothing about, and come and go as they please! These are not examples of strength, Adam. They are examples of your talents being diminished by shortsightedness!

Hazel: When were you planning on telling me about that?
Adam: This was my business, not yours.
Hazel: It's our business now, and I don't appreciate you withholding things like that.
Adam: Your master was concerned with Sienna's willingness to cooperate. (With a smile on his face) Now she doesn't have to be.
Hazel: Nobody needed to die today.
Adam: I... disagree.

Tyler: You're a good fucking shot man! How the hell do you pull off that kind of shit?
Colin: I don't know, it's kind of like playing pool I guess. I'm just able to do the math in my head quickly and accurately enough.
Eugene: Pity you can't do it to work out that if you keep giving in to those sick little impulses of yours much longer, chances are you'll land your ass in some piping hot water.
Colin: Again with this? Just forget about it, it was nothing. I was screwing around.
Eugene: It was fucking creepy man, that's what it was. I realize our clan's primary objective is to take flying leaps over every line of decency we come across, but somewhere far, far along the way, we've gotta draw our own, yeah? You gotta keep that shit under control.
Arby 'n' the Chief, Season 7 Episode 2

Lucius the Eternal: WHAT THE UNHOLY LORDY-LOO?!
Lucius the Eternal: Oookay. We need to talk about this shit you're doing, Bob. It's getting out of hand.
If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, "The Slaneeshmas Special" (reacting to Fabius Bile's "Ahriman 2.0" clone)

The Emperor: I like this Kryptman man.
Rogal Dorn: You should not. He committed the largest genocide in Imperial history in his attempts to repel the Tyranids. He was exiled from the Inquisition for being. Too. Cruel.

    Web Comics 
White Mage: You... sacrificed... children. For power?
Black Mage: Of course. If I'd sacrificed them for no reason I'd be a sicko or something.

"That's messed up, Sarda."

"Wow... there's a level of pointless violence that offends even me when it's crossed. Live and learn, I guess..."

Saul: Proper villains know offing is fine, rape is not.
Munsch: We must have our moral standards or else we are no better than the rest of the rabble.

"We're doctors in the field of robotics. Arson is a little beneath us, don't you think?"

"I have few principles, but I stick to them."
Black Hat Guy, xkcd

Professor Pau: You don't think I'd hang people from the ceiling, bloat them with chemicals, harvest their blistered hides, and then leave them miserable, do you?
Ennesby: Sorry. Our bad. We'll get your sainthood application processed right away.

"Tch! He looked so pitiful! It was like I was bullying him! That isn't the kind of evil that I want to commit!"
Garo, One-Punch Man

    Web Original 
"Oh she would've been the first one! 'Lets go!' [Harvey Weinstein] would've been like 'wait a minute... what? I gotta do some... gotta do some rapey shit first. There's a protocol to this'."
Korey Coleman on Jo Marney, Double Toasted

"Oh, don't worry about Jeff the Killer, he'll be nice to the little girl, it's not like he's an irredeemable monster or anything!"
Jacob of BAD CREEPYPASTA, pointing out a particularly stupid use of this trope in How Jeff Killed Christmas note 

"The leprechaun that tells me to start fires said this guy is nuts."

Darth Vader: BOOOOO!
Lord Voldemort: HISSSSSS!
Bill Belichick: HE’S SO EVIL!

"Y'know, I might kill for no reason other than someone's in killing distance, but at least I'm not a Nazi."
SF Debris impersonating Hirogen while reviewing Star Trek: Voyager, "The Killing Game Pt.1"

"Even to other vampires, Divia is evil like whoa. LaCroix is messing his pants over this one... She frames LaCroix for a murder just to dick with him, which is rude considering all of the real murders he's committed. Divia was created by one of the first of their kind: she killed him and entombed him for trying to control her. LaCroix saw an evil in her that frightened even him. So he decapitated and entombed her. It's supremely creepy when she starts hitting on her dad. I guess incest was the final straw for him."

231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG note 

"Even I'm not that crazy."
Bonesaw on attempting to clone the Endbringers, Worm

"But the real secret of The Newsroom finale was that Sorkin finally pulled off a trick that the rest of TV has been using for years — make your hero look better, and more relatable, by pitting him against some terrible dudes. SAMCRO murdered people and ran guns, but at least they weren’t Nazis. Walter White was a meth kingpin who murdered people, but at least he wasn’t a Nazi. Raylan Givens shoots people wantonly and can be quite cruel, but at least he doesn’t run a gang of Nazis. (Maybe we should get past the whole Nazi thing.)"
Grantland, The Newsroom Finale

"Now, I'll admit that the [Red] Brotherhood doesn't play nice. Hell, by the standards that the vast majority of the populace subscribes to, we're evil as hell. BUT, we have the long-term good of the human race at heart. Selling kids to the Pit does NOT serve the greater good in any way, shape or form. There is shit even WE don't put up with, and the Grand Hall [of Sinister Wisdom, a cabal of Infernalist wizards] is a textbook example of what we don't put up with."
Mephisto the Mentalist, Whateley Universe, explaining why he created a fake 'satanic panic' in order to flush out a real plot to use fake adoptions to get children so they could be sacrificed to demonic forces

The Funkytown video caused Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi to release a public statement saying ISIS would no longer televise executions.
The terror leader who was kicked out of al-Qaeda for being too extreme is sickened by the cartels.
Comment in a Kotaku In Action thread about the El Paso shooting and gun violence

    Web Videos 
"Hey, Norman Bates called, he said you're really kind of a weirdo!"
Linkara on the protagonist of a Lady Gaga comic, Atop the Fourth Wall

B.O.B: And I am supposed to be the half-demon here!

"That was the most f__ed up thing I've ever seen, and I'm a Death God!"

Vegeta: ...alright, well what about the small one? Is it because he's purple?
Thirteen: Okay, racist, if you must know... (Fifteen is seen swigging from a liquor bottle) it's cuz he's got a drinking problem.
Fifteen: Hey, it's only a problem when I run out!
Thirteen: (despondent) We don't like to talk about it.

"When the light shines upon my crimes, you find it sick, appalling!"

"Tell your author for his next gangbang scene,
How 'bout a little more PG, and a LOT less 13?
I wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety!
This is Earth, you space demon! We live in a society!"

Maxwell: And when we have purged England of all its demons and heathens, WE. WILL—
Judd Forrest (an actual Klansman): Round up all those dirty ni—
Maxwell: (highly pissed off) OKAY, YOU NEED TO CHILL.
Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Episode 6, as Enrico Maxwell announces his plans to launch "the 9th Crusade" and forcibly oust Pope Francis and install himself as Pope, ushering in a more fundamentalist regime for the papacy

"C'mon now, mate. Gotta have standards! I know we're shootin' and rapin', but necrophilia's a step too far."

"My God! What is this guy? First the sandwiches, and now laughing evilly while he's off to have an affair!? Even Darth Vader would be like "Dude, you are a fucking ass!""

"Christ, this is too awkward, even for me. AND I'M SHYAMALAN!"
M. Night Shyamalan, referring to the "Sandlerizing" present in The Nostalgia Critic's reenacted review of Pixels

Jay: But I suppose there is good to JBL's bullying: After a guy — possibly Duke Droese or Brian Christopher — gloated about date-raping a girl, JBL stripped him naked and threatened to rape him until he cried.
OOC: That's...that's o.k.? It's not gonna make up for the fact that he legitimately raped or molested other wrestlers.
OSW Review on ECW One Night Stand 2006, Ep. 39

''"There was a scene filmed for this movie where Jason kicks Toby to death but it was cut because according to Kane Hodder, there's some things even Jason wouldn't do. I love it. That's Jason Voorhees: card-carrying member of PETA.

    Western Animation 
Nurse Bundt Cake: She [Princess Bubblegum] is thirteen years old now.
The Ice King: Aw, what? Well, that's it for me. I'm out of here. Good-bye everyone.
Adventure Time, "Episode 26, Mortal Recoil"

"Stan, these people are monsters. You know what my country has done, and I'm disgusted."
Klaus after hearing why Francine's parents had to give her up, American Dad!

"Grandfather may be evil, which I admire, but he's also a jerk!"

And what really bothers me is [that] you pretend that you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it.
Quagmire to Brian, as part of a long-winded "The Reason You Suck" Speech, Family Guy

Robot Devil: I rather think we could strike a deal, Bender. I shall give you your army of the damned and in return I ask just one thing, just one itty-bitty thing... your firstborn son! (Evil Laugh)
Bender: Just a sec.
(cut to)
Bender's Son: Daddy! I knew you'd come back!
(back to Robot Hell)
Bender: Here ya go! (drop-kicks his son through a window and into a vat of fire)
Robot Devil: (somewhere between aghast and impressed) WOW. That was pretty brutal, even by my standards!
Bender: No backsies!

Ultra-Humanite: You'll be happy to know, Flash, that your words — jejune though they were — did not fall on deaf ears. I appreciate the sentiment behind them and therefore call a truce in honour of the season.
The Flash: Seriously?
Ultra-Humanite: You'll have the toy to give to your young friends. I'm improving it, too.
The Flash: ...It's not gonna blow up or anything?
Ultra-Humanite: Flash. It is Christmas.

"Look Vanessa, there's good evil and there's bad evil."
Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb

"I stole this accordion from a blind monkey! But YOU! You disgust even me!"
— A French drifter after Homer Simpson bails on his father when asked to donate a kidney, The Simpsons

"You just don't shoot a guy in the dick!"
Eric Cartman, South Park

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but how could you trade Spongebob for 62 cents?!
Mr. Krabs: You think I could’ve gotten more?
Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

Brock: This is just wrong, man, even for you. Look at her!
Dr. Venture: I have watched you pull a man's eyes from his head and make him dance like a marionette with his own optic nerves!
Brock: At least I didn’t break his heart.
Dr. Venture: ...You don’t know that.

Mojo Jojo: We are citizens! Evil citizens, sure, but citizens nonetheless!
HIM: I think we should complain.
Mojo Jojo: But to who?

Newtralizer: We can destroy this whole stinking city.
Slash: And every innocent human with it! Are you crazy?! I'm here to take out Kraang! Not people!
Newtralizer: Why should I care? I'm not people.

"As strange as it may seem, even someone like me is incapable of turning his back on an abandoned baby."
Shadowsan, Carmen Sandiego, "The French Connection Caper"

Harley Quinn: I think maybe you should sit out the weather machine heist. Your style is just a little intense.
Queen of Fables: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the point was to get the job done.
Harley Quinn: Yeah, but not by murdering innocent people. I mean, that's just a line I won't cross.
Queen of Fables: Oh, you got a line, huh? Hey, guys! She has a line! Superheroes have a line. Teen Titans have a line. We don't give a fuck.
Harley Quinn: Yeah, you know, you know, I think maybe I just give, like, a microscopic fuck.

I despise me some animals, but I would never hurt an innocent little baby. I'll even prove it to you!
Yosamite Sam, Looney Tunes Cartoons


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