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Fanfic / This Bites!

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"Don don don don! Don don don do—" (click)

This Bites! is a One Piece Self-Insert Fan Fiction by Xomniac, with assistance from CV12Hornet and The Patient One.

Musing on how cool it would be if he were in One Piece, fan fic writer and adrenaline junkie Jeremiah Cross has his wish granted by a (Bastard) Random Omnipotent Being. Marooned on a tropical island, he quickly forms a partnership with Soundbite, a Baby Transponder Snail that ate the Noise-Noise Fruit and, after swallowing and somehow assimilating Cross's iPhone, has the audio of the entire Internet at his disposal. The two of them soon cross paths with and join the Straw Hat Pirates as the communications officers, and though being a Muggle in a World of Badass proves to be exceedingly dangerous, Cross finds that the benefits are worth it.

It can be found on here ─, Archive of Our Own,, Sufficient Velocity.

On September 19, 2022, the Cross-Brain published Chapter 85, marking the epilogue of the fanfic's events of the first half of the manga. As of this writing, This Bites! is on hiatus until Eiichiro Oda completes the manga.

Now has a Patreon Page. So if you want more just go ahead and become a patron.

Also, for those interested, an interview with the Cross-Brain held in August 2016.

Tropes contained in This Bites!:

"Until next time, this is Jeremiah Cross—"
"—Of the SBS, signing off!"