Peter: How much?
Ray: Only $4,800. note
(Venkman looks shocked)
Ray: Maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring...
It was cheap, it was easy to buy, or the only thing affordable. Charitably, it could be called a car. Unfortunately, it tops out at about 40 miles per hour (45 going downhill). It breaks down a lot, and gets parking tickets while in motion. It needs to have special-order replacement parts since the dealer, manufacturer, and country it came from are no longer in business. The only parts that aren't about to fall off are the ones firmly rusted in place. It can only be called "the alleged car".
The polar opposite of the Cool Car. Often found on The Rez, in fictional foreign countries, or in the parking lot of Honest John's Dealership. Expect My Car Hates Me to happen a lot when driving this junker.
Sometimes, though, the owner of the alleged vehicle will become quite emotionally attached to it. Sometimes it's because only the owner knows the car's little quirks and can keep the thing running. Sometimes it's Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes they've been through so much together, it's hard to let go.
If a horse, a house, or a computer gets this treatment, then you're respectively dealing with The Alleged Steed, The Alleged House, and The Alleged Computer. The subversion of this trope, where a car looks like this but is secretly a Cool Car, is What a Piece of Junk. A Chronically Crashed Car may become one of these if it gets repaired one too many times. A Rice Burner is often an attempt to make one of these look like a Cool Car. Either this or a bicycle (or worse, an alleged bicycle) will be part of a Real Vehicle Reveal. It may have been purchased at Honest John's Dealership.
Real Life examples have their own page. Many, many real-life cars have become inspirations for what you see below; any such real-life cars should be placed on that page. There is a depressing number of them.
- Azumanga Daioh gives us the infamous "Yukarimobile". Yukari Drives Like Crazy, and presumably this is why the car is in the state it's in; it's a miracle that it can even still be driven. The way that thing gets camera treatment, it is the closest thing the series has to an outright villain. Not even Kimura-sensei is quite as traumatizing.
- Coach Yamazakura's car in Slow Step. Bikes are faster and factories produce less exhaust.
- In the manga of You're Under Arrest!, Natsumi ends up with one of these after getting her license. The car had been assembled out of discarded parts from numerous stolen vehicles. Then it gets customized by Miyuki.
- Girls und Panzer:
- One of the viewpoint team's tanks is a Type 89 I-Go, an interwar Japanese tank intended to fight in China against infantry that was underarmed even by the standards of infantry at the time. It's regularly pitted against vehicles ten or more years younger and an order of magnitude more capable. Its go-to option when it encounters an enemy vehicle is trying to run away.
- The team's later acquisition, a Tiger(P), could most charitably be described as Awesome, but Impractical. It outweighs and outguns the rest of the team's vehicle park on its own, but its engine, suspension, or fuel system will conk out at the least opportune moment. In its first appearance, it gets stuck in the mud, breaks down, and spontaneously catches fire before even getting into firing range. Its later track record is better, due to hard work from the Automotive Club, but it still has a much higher mechanical failure rate that the team's other panzers.
- Jeremy Hotz's routine about his diesel-powered Chevette with a trailer hitch:
What the hell could I possibly tow? Another Chevette in case the first one breaks down?
- Bill Hicks also had a few words about the Chevette in Sane Man:
Piece of shit car. Turn the air conditioner on in a Chevette while you're driving, it's like hitting the car in the balls. It goes down to 5 all of a sudden. I feel like the Flintstones in that thing. You push the lighter in, the battery light comes on. No wonder I'm fuckin' drunk. I hit a moth one time, it did $400 damage to this piece of shit. The moth was all right; he rolled with it. He took off, I'm waitin' for a tow truck. 'What happened to your car buddy?' Shit, I hit a bug. 'You're lucky to be alive. A man in Tennessee hit a ladybug in one of them things sheared his head clean off.
- Comedian Lewis Black had his rental Plymouth Horizon stolen. When he filed a police report, they suggested the thief took it for a joyride.
I said, "You know, I don't think you're listening, asshole. The car is a Plymouth Horizon. It is not a joy to RIDE!" This is a car that goes 45 miles per hour with the wind; if you turn the air conditioning off you can supercharge the little fucker to 48.
- Bill Cosby has driven a few:
- Why Is There Air? includes a bit about his first car, a 1942 Dodge he bought for $75. It wouldn't go over 50 mph. It came with four bald tires; he could only afford a single snow tire for the rear end. He had to load the trunk with sandbags to get any traction. He tried to drive it after a blizzard and wound up skidding sideways at 50 mph before crashing into a tree. At least he tried to make it cooler by painting "CAPTAIN AMERICA" down the side.
- The title routine on 200 M.P.H. includes a bit about getting heckled by a Volkswagen driver after his Rolls-Royce breaks down, followed by his skewering of VW's and the problems they have - such as getting blown into the ditch by passing trucks and losing in a head-on collision with a dog.
- He had a bit on his father's car, a 1952 Chevy. It didn't make any noise when revving the engine — which immediately made it the uncoolest car ever. It also didn't help that he was comparing it to Fat Albert's car, a 1941 Mercury modified to use a Cessna airplane engine.
- Scott Faulconbridge had a routine where he talked about his car. It was worth about twenty bucks. After he filled it with gas.
- Archie Comics: Archie Andrews' jalopy has evolved over time as the series became a Long Runner, but it was never anything better than an old piece of junk. His first appearance in 1941 had him driving a 1916 Ford Model T. Then he started driving a generic 1930s jalopy. These days, it's usually an old Ford Mustang. But some of the things he's driven have really been held together by spit and prayers.
- He tried to get one particularly old car insured:
Insurer: What model is your car?
Archie: Uh, let's see... It's a Ford, Chevy, Plymouth, Pierce Arrow, Packard, De Soto, Hudson—
Insurer: Hold it! How many cars do you want to insure?
Archie: Oh, it's only one car, but it's a collection of replacement parts from several junkyards.
Insurer: Well, what year is it?
Archie: Some of it dates back to 1926!
- In Archie Comics (2015), he drives a 1980s-style hatchback which only Betty can keep in working order (meaning he always has to be on good terms with her if he wants to drive somewhere).
- He tried to get one particularly old car insured:
- Disney Ducks Comic Universe gives us Donald Duck's famous Belchfire Runabout, license number 313. He did manage to get it to do 40 mph downhill (and became the first Belchfire driver to get a speeding ticket). He reveals in the story Recalled Wreck that he built it himself from parts that are all out of production and can't be replaced. In the Paperinik stories, though, Gyro has managed to make it quite formidable.
- Sin City:
- Gail has an unfortunate tendency to saddle Dwight with crappy cars when he's helping her. During The Big Fat Kill she gave him a clapped out, abused, and neglected 1957 Thunderbird on its last legs. It didn't even have enough gas to get him to the tar pits. She later gives him a Beetle in similar condition (but with a full tank of gas).
- Nancy's car is so broken-down and idiosyncratic that no one but her can keep it running.
- Gaston Lagaffe: Gaston's car (the picture for this page) is an old jalopy, a Fiat 509 from 1923 or 1925. It's so slow that pedestrians can outrace it. It leaks so much oil that one strip shows someone water-skiing in the car's oily wake.
- The title character of Achille Talon drives the British-made Achilles, largely chosen for its name. Too bad it rolled off the assembly line in 1903 and looks every bit its age.
- Gabe's beater in The Maze Agency, which is used to contrast Jen's 1958 Corvette, the Cool Car.
- In the German comic Werner, Andi's Ford Taunus 17m in "Besser is das!" (Normal ja!) and Gekotzt wird später!
- The car belonging to Teacher in The Bash Street Kids in The Beano fits this trope. Whenever it is shown, it always has smoke coming out of it, and it often falls apart.
- The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers went through a succession of old clunkers, including Fat Freddy's 1958 Ford:
Franklin: Is your car working all right?
Fat Freddy: Hunh? Oh yeah, except the turn signals don't turn off by themselves. ...And there's no spare tire...and the speedometer's way off... and the windshield wipers don't work... and it pops out of gear, and you have to pump on the brakes two or three times before they start to work, and...
- One episode of the Dutch comic Roel Dijkstra is about a voodoo curse on the eponymous character. Roel, who first doesn't believe in voodoo, is forced by the events in the story to take it seriously. In the end, when being taken back to the airport in a rattling, run-down cab, he asks the driver (a recurring character in the story) if it is also voodoo power that is holding his car together.
- The Arrival, a tie-in to Transformers Animated, gave us the Bulkhead, an amalgamation of the most infamous traits of real life Alleged Cars. It's a former military vehicle (an APC in this case) with bad fuel economy like the trope-naming Hummer Dinger, the poorly placed gas tank with the tendency to explode of the Ford Pinto, the risk of rolling if turned at any speed faster than 20mph, similar to the British Reliant Robin, and the unauthorized use of the name and likeness of the Autobot Bulkhead. Thankfully, by the end of the story, Bulkhead tricked Porter C. Powell into doing an Engineered Public Confession that got the Bulkhead off the market.
- Brad's perpetually worked-on Chevy Nova in Luann.
- The 1962 VW Microbus Jeremy and Hector are "restoring" in Zits. It has wildlife living in the engine compartment and creates its own smokescreen as it drives.
- Dave's (unseen) AMC Pacer in Knights of the Dinner Table, mostly due to his refusal to do any maintenance on it. At one point, it is stuck permanently in second gear. It eventually dies, forcing him to cadge lifts on Bob's scooter.
- Frazz's Chevette, which he refers to as his "'Vette" and claims doubles in value when he puts his (admittedly probably expensive) bike on the rack.
- Garfield once watched a commercial for a used car dealership that seemingly sold only these. In fact, the proprietor openly admitted the cars' flaws in the commercial. (A minivan that had been driven off a cliff, a car with no brakes, a V-8 engine with only four working cylinders, and a car with noise problems.)
Garfield: He never sells anything, but he is honest.
- The Transbelvian Belv in Eyrie Productions Unlimited's Street Fighter/whole bunch of other stuff fic Warrior's Legacy. The author/narrator describes it quite well:
I insist, though, that when in Transbelvia, the truly discriminating tourist is obligated to drive the national automobile, the one and only Belv. The Belv is the quintessential East-European car, a tiny tin box with a two-stroke motor that sounds like a mimeograph machine on Self-Destruct and smells like a burning blackwall tire. This particular one had a four-speed manual gearbox that liked to crunch and jitter on shifts, brakes operated by cables, and no gauges that worked.
- Midnight Green's dilapidated cart that he quite happily smashes into a tree.
- In Futari Wa Pretty Cure Blue Moon, Mia's mother, Kirei, owns a dilapidated old van that barely works. Yoko, the resident car fanatic, can barely stand to look at it, and she's enlisted to fix it in its first appearance when it breaks down at an inconvenient time. Near the end of the story, though, this is turned around, as the team uses their finale powerup to turn it into a complete replica of the DaiVan, DaiFighter's Cool Car.
- In A Kingdom Divided, Vinyl Scratch becomes one of the crew of an old, steam-powered airship. Its stoke is placed next to the balloon filled with hydrogen.
- In Came Out of the Darkness, one of Dudley's friends from Smeltings has a beat-up vehicle on which he comments "Car's a piece of shit, but it runs and it's mine."
- Teen Wolf's Stiles' blue Jeep shows some tendencies to be The Alleged Car in canon, but it's often played up even more in fanfic. Quite often, the car used to belong to Stiles' mother, leaving Stiles heartbroken if supernatural shenanigans causes it to be irreparably damaged.
- The All Guardsmen Party have their Discount Spaceship, the Occurrence Border. It's only half as long as a vessel of its class should be because the front fell off, so its "bow" is a big scab of melted metal. Whole sections of the ship are sealed off as unsafe or tainted. There's a primitive tribal society living in the vessel's hydroponics gardens, whose duties include keeping a carnivorous alien population down to manageable levels. The ship's interior is covered in little yellow notes bearing warnings such as "This control panel governs the flow of plasma through bays D3-S15, no one remembers why we have plasma going through there, but if you shut them off engines 3 and 7 stop working," or more commonly, "Do not touch this button." And things only get worse when the ship shudders its way into the Warp. The only good thing about it is that it's a perfect mission ship, because no one who looks at it would ever suspect the Inquisition might be using it.
- This trope is actually named in We're Jerry Springer Not Casablanca.
He chanced a look into the work area and saw the alleged car pulled into the bay. That car looks like it needed to be taken out back and shot ten years ago, boy, he said. It was a sad sight; a boxy sedan that was at least half rust. The other half might have been duct tape
- In Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!, All Might's car is a Downplayed version of this trope. While it's perfectly functional, Izuku notes that it has signs of wear and tear in places that concerned him. The side-view mirrors are also constantly falling off and he has to try multiple times to close the doors.
- The Total Drama fanfic Unbreakable Red Silken Thread Plays With this: Cody owns an original 1983 DeLorean DMC-12 with factory original specs and parts. For himself it is the definition of a Cool Car, but ask anyone else, especially Heather, and it's junk; however, even she admits that it has some advantages; specifically, that it's built like a tank, so it protects the passengers from both crashing and extreme weather conditions.
- In Cross Cases, since the loss of his beloved Blue Beetle, Harry's purchased an old vomit-colored Chevy Caprice, which he despises because it's huge and he can't maneuver it as well as he could the Beetle. It's basically an extra-shitty version of the Winchesters' Impala, and even Sam describes it as worse than Castiel's crapmobile. Somehow, Harry still manages to be pissed off about it when the Denarians melt it down to the frame.
- In Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (And Don't Come Back!), the gang drives around France in a run-down blue Citroen 2CV. Charlie Brown is routinely injured whenever he starts it with the hand-crank. It doesn't help that they get rear-ended twice in the film, resulting in Marcy yelling in French and Snoopy giving insulting gestures. The saving grace is that Snoopy is also the one doing the driving (he knows enough to keep the car running at least).
- The last song heard in The Brave Little Toaster brutally deconstructs the attitudes of materialism and abandonment behind this trope. It's sung by thousands of personified Alleged Cars, all of them waiting to be picked up one by one by the junkyard magnet and be crushed to death by the car crusher at the end of a Conveyor Belt o' Doom.
- The Rusteze Bumper Ointment tent is full of rusty, beaten-up cars, much to McQueen's dismay. Ironically, the similarly rusty, beaten-up tow truck Mater later becomes his best friend.
- The villains of the sequel are all notorious "lemons", such as Gremlins, Pacers and Yugos, with the apparent Big Bad based on a German microcar in which passengers always face the back. In fact, two of the baddies are even called Grem and Acer.
- Mater qualifies as one to a point; he's a rusty, dinged-up old tow truck missing his hood with all the creaks and rattles you'd expect of him. Still, he's a decent backwards driver and can hold his own in a high-speed chase, and in Cars 2 he is given several nifty gadgets that put him more in the What a Piece of Junk territory.
- Both vehicles in The Fox and the Hound; the Widow's is a really old truck, and Slade's truck becomes as temperamental as he is after the Widow puts a load of buckshot through the radiator.
- In Madagascar 2, the state of the plane the Penguin Commandos and the Zoo animals attempt to fly back to New York in is so bad that one of the signs it is not working is that its engine is no longer on fire. It also comes with several skeletons on board.
- In A Goofy Movie, Goofy drives an AMC Pacer that begins to fall apart as the movie goes on.
- In Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope's initial car, "The Lickety-Split", is a pedal-powered piece of crap made out of graham crackers that pales in comparison to other vehicles in her game. Later on, she and Ralph build another car that, while functionally better, is still pretty hideous.
- While it's in perfect working order, Judy Hopps' meter maid cart is rightfully referred to as a "jokemobile" by Nick Wilde due to the lack of dignity imparted when driving it.
- Finnick's van. The driver's door is silver, the rest of the van is some kind of rusty red, with an awesome mural on the side panels. It backfires a lot, too.
- Star Wars:
- The Millennium Falcon manages to be both this and a Cool Ship. It's reputed to be the fastest ship in the galaxy, and it can do some amazing things despite its condition. But there's always something wrong with it, and it can easily become non-functional and turn its occupants into sitting ducks (usually for plot reasons). This is most famously used in The Empire Strikes Back, where Han and Chewie spend much of the Hoth sequence trying (and failing) to get it into condition to escape from the planet. It's status as this even gets weaponized in one of the Expanded Universe novels - because the Falcon is continually being redesigned and repaired, the Empire has three totally different confirmed sensor profiles for the ship gathered over a period of only four years, and as a result have to assume that the bizarre sensor profile being given off by two distant fighters acting as decoy really is the Falcon, luring them away from targets of actual value.
- The Phantom Menace gives us podracing, which appears to consist solely of Alleged Vehicles. They all go insanely fast, but a billion things could go wrong (often explosively), and there is practically no protection for the driver or other components. The film itself shows that podracing is obscenely dangerous (hence why there must be something different about Anakin for him to be so good at it), and at least one pod just explodes on the starting line. Roughly a minute after everyone else had already started racing.
- The ancient speeders on Crait in The Last Jedi make the Falcon look like an Aston Martin by comparison. We see them actually SHAKING when they launch from the base, Poe puts his foot through a panel on one, and they bounce repeatedly off the ground unless the pilot deploys a stabilizing ski to drag across the ground beneath it. Most of them get picked off easily by TIE fighters.
- Nick's Yugo Jessie in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Nick: This is not a cab, my friend, I promise.
- Inspector Clouseau's car in Revenge of the Pink Panther looks like a pimped-out Batmobile, but it falls apart in the driveway.
- Smoke Signals has one that's permanently stuck in reverse and thus driven backwards everywhere. According to the makers, this is actually Truth in Television on some Indian reservations.
- Pow Wow Highway has a car stuck permanently in reverse, too.
- "The Loaner" from The Mask is given to Stanley as a replacement for his Honda Civic by some unscrupulous mechanics while the latter is being repaired.
- The "Wagon Queen Family Truckster" from National Lampoon's Vacation, a pea-green monstrosity covered in way too much fake wood paneling. "You think you hate it now — but wait til you drive it!" The engine continues to idle after the keys have been taken out, and the airbag deploys randomly. Rarely for this trope, it's brand new, presumably American, and not cheap.
- Vacation has the next-generation Griswolds rent a Tartan Prancer, a minivan made in Albania. It's another rare case of a then-new (if fictitious) alleged vehicle.
- The villains in Dead Man's Shoes drive an ancient Citroën that one of them had apparently inherited from his grandmother, complete with a My Car Hates Me moment when the Anti-Hero is advancing on them with an axe.
- The car that the title character drives in Mr. Hulot's Holiday is so underpowered and rickety, duct-tape and bailing wire could be considered luxury extras.
- James Bond:
- For Your Eyes Only has 007 forced to take the Bond Girl's car, a Citroën 2CV (also known in the English-speaking world as "Tortoise" or "Flying Dustbin") - the music even halts as the vehicle shows up! And yet in sort of a subversion, it holds pretty well in a chase. Then again, there's some movie magic, as the 2CV's engine was replaced with one twice as powerful.
- Jack Wade's Zaporozhets in GoldenEye. He starts it by rapping the engine with a sledgehammer, a semi-legitimate technique for fixing a real-life model.
- Whatever Cool Car gets issued to Bond by Q invariably ends up as one of these by the time he's done with it.
- The Citroën 2CV driven by Sister Clotilde in Le Gendarme de Saint-Tropez is broken apart by the ride's end, losing its doors, wings, windscreen, and rear axle. It's mostly because the nun Drives Like Crazy.
- Dragnet (1987). "After losing the two previous vehicles we had been issued, the only car the department would release to us at this point was an unmarked 1987 Yugo; a Yugoslavian import donated as a test vehicle by the government of that country and reflecting the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology."
- The Mario Bros' craptastic van in the Super Mario Bros. movie.
- The VW bus in Little Miss Sunshine is in dire need of repair, but doing so would cause the family to miss Olive's contest. As such, it needs to be push started, and the horn has a loose connection causing it to beep intermittently.
- Subverted in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Sean's car is a rusty Monte Carlo that seems to be falling apart — until you realize it's a "sleeper car", which is designed to look beaten-up so as to surprise opponents when they realized that it's so tricked out under the hood, it can beat a brand-new Dodge Viper.
- The second Enterprise is like this in Star Trek V, allegedly because it was a quick refit of another ship still under construction.
- Andrew Steyn's jeep in The Gods Must Be Crazy gets stuck in gear and causes all sorts of other catastrophes.
- As much a Cool Car as the DeLorean of Back to the Future is, it would always break down at the worst time. Apparently this is Truth in Television; real-life DeLoreans tended to be unreliable even before you attached massive amounts of barely-tested mad-science doodads to them. It's implied that Doc Brown installed some sort of override on the ignition; he fiddles under the dash and she starts right up, or the ignition wires are just that loose.
- The car in Dude, Where's My Car? makes its appearance in the last minute of the movie. It's a Renault that's about half the size of any other car on the road and ugly as all get out.
- Frank's "piss yellow" junker in The Frighteners.
- The title ship in Serenity. In both of the Book-Ends, a piece of the ship simply falls off.
- DJ Drake's AMC Gremlin in Looney Tunes: Back in Action gave revered Looney Tunes voicebox Mel Blanc an extra posthumous acting credit by looping the effects he did for Jack Benny's Maxwell (see below) as it pulled into frame. Apropos of nothing, the car was also a Shout-Out, as its arrival was marked with a snippet of the "Gremlins Rag" (Joe Dante apparently couldn't resist a bit of self-reference).
Daffy: Alright, let's see what this baby can really do!
(DJ turns on the ignition, and the entire car falls apart)
Daffy: Well, that's an interesting feature.
- Inverted in Wanted. The Lada driven by Fox in the train hunt scene is the quintessential crappy car in (ex-)Soviet culture. Only she does some really crazy shit with this alleged vehicle.
- Denzel Washington's introductory movie, Carbon Copy, has one of these. Denzel's character purchased it for 14 dollars and a record player, leading his (white) father to reply, "you were overcharged." It has no horn, no brakes, no paint job, coughs black smoke everywhere it goes, and becomes an Instant Convertible by the end of the film.
- In Friday, Smokey's car barely runs, but he still installs an alarm.
- Buford T. Justice's police cruiser in Smokey and the Bandit usually becomes one of these by the end of every movie, in one case being reduced to nothing but a chassis, engine, and wheels — but it still keeps going. The emergency lightbar also survives, but with no roof to put it on, he just has his son hold it over their heads from the passenger seat while he drives.
- The Dude's Torino in The Big Lebowski was a pile of crap, even before the events of the movie which has the poor vehicle suffering several different kinds of abuse, before it is finally set on fire by the Nihilists.
Well, they finally did it... They killed my fucking car.
- The bobsled in Cool Runnings is incredibly old by Olympic equipment standards. The Jamaicans use it out of necessity (and they feel it brings them luck). Their final race in the movie turns into a hair-raising wreck because one of the pieces used for maneuvering tears itself apart right in the middle of a turn.
- Axel Foley's "beat up old Chevy Nova" in Beverly Hills Cop. In one scene, he parks it on an incline and it starts to roll away. His ex-girlfriend Jeanette is apparently quite familiar with the car, as she asks him if he's still driving it.
- In the Hallmark movie Ice Dreams the main character has one of these.
Amy: What's wrong with my car?
Amy's Mom: It's not a car, dear, it's a casualty.
- Ralphie's Old Man's 1937 Oldsmobile in A Christmas Story.
That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!
- Turned completely on its head in Woody Allen's Sleeper. While on the run from future dystopian authorities, Woody's and Diane Keaton's characters discover what appears to be a dust-covered, 200-year-old, mid-Sixties vintage Volkswagen Beetle. When Woody turns the key in the ignition the car starts without a millisecond's hesitation and purrs happily. Woody observes, "Wow, they just don't make 'em like they used to."
- Polish Communist film Mis (Teddy Bear), which generally sent up life in the Polish People's Republic, had a sequence in the opening credits where the hero sneezes and his Polish Fiat car falls apart in the middle of traffic.
- Gary King, the protagonist of The World's End, drives a car nicknamed "The Beast", which he bought off his friend about twenty years before the start of the movie. While it may have been a Cool Car back then, years of use have turned it into this trope instead.
- The title character's car from Uncle Buck. It lets out a boom like a high powered rifle after being turned off for several seconds and leaves a smokescreen the size of Kansas in its trail. Its name is also "The Beast".
- Judge Dredd. At the beginning, when Dredd is demonstrating the Lawmaster bike to a class of cadets, the performance of that particular bike is a bit less than reliable.
Joseph Dredd: Mark 4 Lawmaster, improved model, with dual onboard laser cannons and vertical takeoff and landing capabilities. Range, 500 kilometers. Men?Technicians: Yes sir! (presses a button and the hoverbike turns on and begins to hover.)Hoverbike: Active. (sparks fly from hoverbike and screen suddenly blinks red) Malfunction! Malfunction! Malfunction! (hoverbike goes dead and thuds back onto the floor)Joseph Dredd: Hmm. Yours, if you can ever get it to work.
- In The Blues Brothers:
- Subverted with the "Bluesmobile", a decommissioned police car Elwood bought while Jake was in prison. Even though it looks rundown and the cigarette lighter doesn't work, it stands up to multiple high-speed chases and even keeps going after it throws a rod. The car finally falls to pieces once the brothers reach their destination in Chicago.
- While it's never shown on screen, Elwood states that he traded the original Bluesmobile (a Cadillac) for a microphone, and Jake never thinks to question if Elwood could have gotten a better deal. Whether this says more about the car or former owners is up to debate.
- It really says more about the price of a microphone before 1990's technology. The joke is that it's actually a pretty reasonable trade for a used car in the mid-to-late 70's.
- In Sin City, Nancy Callahan says she is the only person who can keep her car running. The villain tries to kidnap her in it, it doesn't work out well for him. As in the books, it is a 1957 Chevy Nomad, which started life a Cool Car right from the factory.
- Drowning Mona begins with a title card stating that the town where the movie takes place was a testbed for Yugo's American rollout ages ago. Once the film begins, every car in the film is a Yugo. The film climaxes in a low-speed Yugo car chase — with one Yugo requiring a push-start.
- The minivan at the end of Project X is missing two doors and has had most of its paint scorched off. Thomas' parents force him to drive it to school as punishment, though his friends think it looks badass.
- In Ghostbusters (1984), the Ecto-1 is an ancient ambulance/hearse that we're introduced to with Ray listing off the numerous things they'll have to fix. Remarkably, they do.
- Dean Higgins' car from the 1975 Disney film The Strongest Man in the World. In the climax, Dexter has to power it up with his strength formula in order to return to the weight-lifting competition.
- The 1983 Nissan Shitbox (yes, that's its real name) from Superhero Movie. It does not make an actual appearance, but it is briefly listed on a site when Rick tries to see what kind of car he can get with only $300. Its description◊ explains it all:
This is a salvage title for a previously very nice ride, call about the car. Salvageable parts, and many square inches of un-bent sheet metal. Use for your own sculpture projects, landscaping or restore to like-new condition. Wheels extra, 3 included in trunk.
- North West Frontier has an alleged train that smokes constantly and whistles at the worst possible moments.
- In The Brass Teapot the protagonists own a barely functioning Pinto that is falling apart.
- The U.S.S. Stingray from Down Periscope is an ailing, diesel-powered rust bucket of a submarine. It's assigned to LCDR Dodge for the wargames because they're supposed to be simulating a terrorist group, and it's the exactly the kind of crappy, obsolete sub a terrorist group would get its hands on.
- Operation Petticoat features the U.S.S. Sea Tiger. It had been badly damaged in battle prior to the film, and most of the film involves the crew trying to get it to a safe port for repair. Halfway through, it ends up being painted pink. Even years later, they still couldn't fix one of the engines, which is prone to backfiring.
- The bus in Who's Singing Over There? starts out pretty beaten up, but over the course of the movie, it loses a tire that gets stabbed to become completely flat, and it gets a hole in the roof courtesy of a very careless passenger with a gun.
- Blue Ruin: The title of the film refers to the battered and rusted out blue Pontiac that the main character is living out of at the beginning of the film. The car serves as a plot device several times.
- The Cars That Ate Paris: The Greaser Delinquents drive cars built from the components of other wrecks.
- Tommy Boy: Richard's pride-and-joy vintage Plymouth becomes one in the course of a sales trip.
- The Arrival: The main character starts the film driving a junked-up 1968 Saab V4 station wagon. He uses it to ram the gate of a radio station and discards it without a second glance.
- K2: Siren of the Himalayas: Before the team gets to K2, there's a scene where they're waiting for the vehicles that will take them there to start.
- The pick-up truck commandeered by John, Sarah, and the T-800 after the SWAT van gets wrecked in Terminator 2: Judgment Day qualifies as one, due to it's almost total inability to maintain normal freeway speeds, let alone escape from the T-1000's liquid nitrogen tanker.
John: Step on it!
T-800: [looks at speedometer, which is hovering between 50-55 mph] This is the vehicle's top speed.
John: I COULD GET OUT AND RUN FASTER THAN THIS!!!!!
- Inspector Gadget: John Brown's ancient Chevette hatchback even before it flipped over and got blown up by an exploding cigar.
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The Weasleys have a flying Ford Anglia, which at the beginning of the movie is still a Cool Car, having only minor dysfunctions ("The invisibility booster is faulty"). Twelve-year-old son Ron then uses it to fly with Harry to Hogwarts, where he crashes it into the Whomping Willow, which totally beats the car up. The Weasley parents never bother to pick up their car from Hogwarts, and at the end of the school year, the beaten-up, malfunctioning car makes a sudden reappearance when Ron and Harry are in the Forbidden Forest. Most frighteningly, the car now also acts creepy, deliberately throwing Ron and Harry out of it.note
- The Woman in Red: Teddy is frustrated with the windshield wipers and wonders aloud what he would do if he had a date.
- The plot of Marathon Man gets set in motion when Dr. Szell's brother dies in a car accident, which probably wouldn't have happened if the car weren't barely functional.
- Two for the Road sees the main couple in several vehicles, but most prominently an old MG that has trouble starting even right after its purchase. Eventually, they have no choice but to junk it.
- Fat Albert: When Fat Albert goes to pick up Laurie and Doris, Bill says they need to ride "in style." That ride turns out to be a hodgepodge contraption made up of parts from the junkyard, powered by manual peddling. As Albert starts the car, Bill sits under the hood with Mushmouth and he makes engine noises as Mushmouth sings with his new voice.
- Stella's truck in Almost Night is covered in rust, with flakes constantly coming off. It is also run by an evil AI and used to belong to the Dark Lord.
- The Alice Network: Charlie teases Finn about his Lagonda being a piece of junk, but its actually quite a nice car. In the epilogue, however, its basically scrap, and they only use it to go on picnics.
- The Junk Bucket and The Pink Clinker in The Baby-Sitters Club. The Pink Clinker actually works well Nannie just likes to call it that.
- In The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams:
- Kate's Citroën 2CV is the Trope Namer. It gets her in court by throwing a wheel and nearly causing an accident; a police officer would refer to it as "the alleged car". The 2CV has this reputation in Real Life as well.
- Dirks' car is not much better; it's a beat-up Jaguar described as needing to go for maintenance more frequently than for petrol. He also Drives Like Crazy (and has very spotty navigation techniques); when he rear-ends another car and busts the right-side indicator, he rationalizes it by saying he rarely turns right anyway. At one point, he has to steal a tow truck just to force the repairman to get it running.
- Good Omens loves this trope. Interestingly, strange events lead to all of them improving over the course of the book.
- Newton Pulsifer has a Wasabi. He named it after famous British highwayman Dick Turpin, because "wherever I go, I hold up traffic". It's described as being made in Japan during an awkward interim period; they had stopped ripping off Western designs, but had yet to perfect their own, leading to a car with all the flaws of Western cars and some new ones only the Japanese could devise. It has incredible gas mileage, but it spends an inordinate amount of time in the shop. It has a voice (recorded by someone "who spoke neither Japanese nor English") that would randomly recite "prease to frasten sleat-bert". It would deploy airbags on dangerous occasions, like when a faulty airbag has suddenly obstructed your view of the road. Newton's attempts to convince others to buy one are motivated by the idea that misery loves company. It gets improved by Adam in the denouement, such that, for example, instead of Engrish the vocal warnings are delivered in the form of pleasant haiku.
- Crowley drives a 1926 Bentley, which qualifies as a Cool Car and stays that way despite its age due to his being a Reality Warper. But near the end of the book, he drives it like mad to get from London to Tadfield during a huge traffic jam (including leaping through a wall of fire caused by a cursed motorway Crowley designed), and what's left of it afterwards definitely qualifies as an Alleged Car, assuming it qualifies as a car at all.
- Anathema Device has an Alleged Bicycle, possibly made of drainpipes. It too gets improved after Crowley knocks it over in his Bentley and Aziraphale fixes it with a miracle, who then has to gloss over her feeble protests that it didn't use to have a basket, air pump, or gears.
- American Gods has a ton of bad (and bad-smelling) cars.
- Shadow buys a "Pee-Oh-Ess" 1983 Chevy Nova for $450. It "had almost a quarter of a million miles on the clock, and smelled faintly of bourbon, tobacco, and more strongly of something that reminded Shadow of bananas." It goes, and that's about all you can say for it.
- There's "a lumbering and ancient Winnebago, which smelled non-specifically but pervasively and unmistakably of male cat."
- A 1970 VW bus "smelled of patchouli, of old incense and of rolling tobacco."
- The Winnebago later gets traded for another car that is in absolutely horrible condition, but will continue to run as long as they keep filling it with oil.
- Shadow ends up buying another vehicle that is badly painted a very ugly shade of purple. It's described as a color that a person would only choose while under the influence of many drugs.
- Jasper Fforde:
- Played with in The Big Over-Easy, where the protagonist drives a 1970s Austin Allegro that should fit this trope. He replaces it with another one, in showroom condition, in The Fourth Bear — it turns out it's only still running because he bought it from Dorian Gray and there's a picture of the car that suffers all the damage and breakdowns the car would otherwise be subject to. Over the course of the book, the damage sustained reaches such an extent that the picture collapses into an interdimensional portal, dragging the car and anyone in it to hell.
- Thursday Next: Thursday's car is old, makes funny noises, came very cheap from a questionable second-hand car lot, and caught her attention because of a time loop in which she saw herself driving it. But she falls in love with it anyway, because it's loudly colored and goes fast.
- The Dresden Files has Harry Dresden's Beetle, complete with a cute nickname: The Blue Beetle. He can't drive anything else because magic screws up modern technology. Although this is never explicitly stated, it's possible that one of the reasons he's driving a Volkswagen is that the engine is farther away from him. Plus, Harry has stated that his mechanic can keep the Beetle running eight or nine days out of ten, which, as far as Harry's Walking Techbane status goes, makes the mechanic a miracle worker. Unfortunately, miracles have limits, and being compacted into a small ball in Changes is the Beetle's limit.
- Discworld: Granny Weatherwax has the Alleged Flying Broomstick, described as "the only broomstick ever to need bump-starting." It was a second-hand gift when she got it in Equal Rites, and she only ever had it maintained with quick bodge jobs. This gains it a notorious reputation among Dwarf broomstick mechanics, since the stick and bristles have both been replaced many times but it still has the same problems. When it finally gets properly worked on in The Shepherd's Crown, they have it working perfectly in a few hours; in practice this boiled down to replaceing every component at once.
- In Space Marine Battles, this is the impression the Iron Warrior get when they hijack an Ork plane. It doesn't have any landing gear and works on Clap Your Hands If You Believe rather than any rules of actual physics.
- Dave Barry covers this a few times:
- In the column "Lemon Harangue", he talks about his father's unerringly awful car buying instincts:
For example, my father was one of the very few Americans who bought the Hillman Minx, a wart-shaped British car with the same rakish, sporty appeal as a municipal parking garage but not as much pickup. Our Minx also had a Surprise Option Feature whereby the steering mechanism would disconnect itself at random moments, so you'd suddenly discover that you could spin the wheel all the way around in a playful circle without having any effect whatsoever on the front wheels... You don't see many Minxes around anymore, probably because the factory was bombed by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
- In Dave Barry Does Japan, he mentions that his own first new car was a Chevrolet Vega, which was "made of compressed rust".
- He once owned a Fiat, which "rusted on the assembly line." It was easy to find in a crowded parking lot, as all he had to do was follow the sound of parts falling off.
- Dave Barry Slept Here also makes this claim about the Ford Model T:
By modern standards, the Model T was very primitive: It had no electric starter, no radio, no heater, no air conditioner, no brakes, no transmission, no engine, and no wheels. The only way to get it to actually move was to have four or five burly men pick it up and stagger down the street. But it was affordable, and people bought it like crazy. "What the hell," they said. "There's nowhere to go anyway, here in 1913."
- In the column "Lemon Harangue", he talks about his father's unerringly awful car buying instincts:
- In Markus Zusak's The Messenger, one of the narrator's friends owns a "shitbox blue Ford", of which he is intensely proud and protective — he goes berserk if anyone brings up its shortcomings within his earshot, even at a police officer who told him it wasn't roadworthy. He claims it's an antique, but it appears to made from rust, it has a 0.5 percent chance of starting the first time you turn the key, it's often propped by bricks because the handbrake is broken, any replacement part would be worth more than the rest of the car itself put together, and it foils a bank robbery in the opening chapter because the robber chose it as his getaway vehicle and couldn't get it to start before the police arrived.
- Stephen King seems quite fond of this trope:
- Cujo has a woman and her son trapped in one of these by a rabid Saint Bernard.
- The evil, sentient title car in Christine is a sort of twisted horror version of this trope. It completely takes over a geeky young car-lover's life with its constant demand for repairs and replacement parts, all while making him love it beyond reason. In the movie, it's very much an Alleged Car when the protagonist first sees it, but gets much better (to the point of being a Cool Car) by around the middle of the show.
- In 11/22/63, every car Jake touches becomes this on the day of JFK's assassination, thanks to the past trying its damnedest to fight being changed.
- In From a Buick 8, they're not quite sure what the object masquerading as a car is, but an actual car it is not.
- In Ilya Ilf and Eugene Petrov's The Little Golden Calf, the Antelope Gnu was essentially what was considered the Alleged Car in the early 1930s Soviet Union. Unknown origins (allegedly Loren-Dietrich), but obviously heavily modified and jury-rigged, working unstably and finally exploding into small pieces of debris (and being rebuilt).
- One set of Beachcomber columns describes the saga of the Alleged Ship Saucy Mrs. Flobster, flagship of the Lots Road Power Station, and an attempt by the Government to sell her to Afghanistan. The ship is too waterlogged to burn, is missing vital components such as masts, sails, rudders and most of the hull, and the previous purchasers (Lichtenstein) offered sevenpence but pulled out when they saw what they'd be buying. It's only at the very end that anyone wonders why the Lots Road Power Station ever needed a navy in the first place.
- Stephanie Plum frequently has one of these, due to her financial constraints and how frequently her cars get destroyed. When she doesn't have a car of her own, she's forced to drive her Uncle Sandor's powder blue 1953 Buick Roadmaster "Big Blue". It's large, it's ugly, and Stephanie hates it, but most men love it, and it is practically indestructible.
- The early installments of The Hardy Boys feature sporadic appearances from "The Queen", Chet Morton's unreliable yellow jalopy.
- In the short story "Tobermory" by Saki, one of the secrets that the eponymous talking cat elects to share is that one of the guests was only invited to the party because the hosts think that she is stupid enough to buy their Alleged Car, dubbed "The Envy of Sisyphus" because it goes quite nicely uphill, if you push it.
- In Shoefly Pie, the Alleged Car is a Dodge Dart, with the most valued component being the half a pizza in the back. It didn't have problems driving (until they took it into a field and the driveshaft fell out), but it had almost no floor, and the original color might possibly have been blue.
- In William Gaddis's A Frolic Of His Own, the protagonist's troublesome Japanese car, which runs him over and engenders a lawsuit, is called the Sosumi.
- A subplot in the The Darkest Hours, a Spider-Man novel written by Jim Butcher, involves Mary Jane Watson-Parker having to take her driving test so she can play Lady Macbeth for a theater company in Atlantic City. She surprises Peter by announcing that she had purchased a rusty, lime-green Gremlin. The Gremlin also turns out to be a Chekhov's Gun; when Spider-Man is almost killed by Mortia the Ancient, MJ ends up ramming into her with the Gremlin while quoting Lady Macbeth.
- The protagonist of Laurie Halse Anderson's Catalyst has a Yugo named Bert, which she describes as "a tissue box on wheels with a bulimic hunger for motor oil."
- The Doctor from Doctor Who apparently has a particular affection for this trope. In the Eighth Doctor Adventures novels, he has a Trabant, as featured in the Real Life subpage. He drives it during his stint as a single father and wealthy business consultant, working with the kind of people who drive "Porsches and BMWs", next to which the Trabant looks like "an old drunk uncle at a wedding". He keeps a ton of books in it, and it often stalls, but at the end it comes through when the Doctor needs to go rescue his daughter from being whisked off the planet:
The Doctor smiled, and slammed his foot on the Trabants accelerator, astonishing the owners of the Audi he cruised past.
- Genevive Robles from Bystander by Luke Green has her Termite, which is a discontinued model from 2011 in a story set in 2035. No parts are made for it, so it consumes a lot of cash and paperwork to keep operational, especially given that over the course of the book it's in an earthquake and a blizzard, and it narrowly misses being crushed by a flying hydraulic arm from a garbage truck. It is also stated to have an air conditioner that smells like ozone; at least once, Lucretia took a ride in it after being drunk and stuck in garbage truck, which couldn't have helped the smell.
- In the early Spenser detective novels, Spenser drives several of these. The first was a 1968 Chevy convertible in such awful condition that everyone he meets remarks on it. He justifies keeping it by saying that if it gets damaged in the line of duty, he doesn't care all that much. He later wrecks a Subaru somewhere near the Charles River locks. By the 1990s, he's switched to something better, but he still loses cars with some frequency after that, and implies he's never too attached to them.
- Earlier in the Sweet Valley High series, the twins drove their mom's old Fiat Spider which was constantly breaking down. According to Jessica, she was driving up a hill one day, and pedestrians were walking faster than the car.
- In Wise Blood, Hazel Motes buys an old car for $200 (about $1500 in 2011). He's quite proud of it, but no one else is impressed, and it's missing several seats.
- In Daniel Pinkwater's Yobgorgle: Mystery Monster of Lake Ontario, one character purchases one during the course of the book. He gets it dirt cheap (less than a hundred dollars), on the condition that he has to wear a chicken suit whenever he drives it.
- Jen from Extraordinary* has a car that stalls all the time, usually at the worst moments.
- The Jetlag parody travel guide for Molvania makes mention of the national car, the Skumpta. The car is described as having a single headlight, a three cylinder engine, and a candlelit interior. The car is also said to have performed best out of four leading European car models in a crash test involving being driven into a wall at 60 kph, but that's because the car broke down repeatedly and never reached the wall.
- The Joads' 1926 Hudson Super Six Sedan (converted to a truck) in The Grapes of Wrath typical for 1930s Dust Bowl migrants. Vehicles of that era required a total engine rebuild every 20,000 miles and a new paint job every other year; by the mid-1930s, it would have been operating on five or more years of deferred maintenance.
- Bert and Cec's original cab in the first Phryne Fisher novel Cocaine Blues. In the second novel, Phryne buys them a new cab as thanks for their services, and because the first cab was a death trap.
- In More Information Than You Require, John Hodgman recounts a (made-up) story about his wife owning a Volkswagen Jetta that actually worked fine; the only problem was that whenever she drove it, people would point at the car and scream, and she could never figure out why. They tried to let it get stolen by leaving the doors unlocked in the middle of New York City, but all that happened was that a lot of people used the car as a place to have sex. Eventually, to get rid of the car, they sold it under false pretenses to one of the writers for Sesame Street; they were that desperate.
- In Kevin J. Anderson's Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I. novels, Chambeaux & Dyer's company car is a barely-functional Ford Maverick that's held together mostly by rust. Sheyenne nicknames it "the Pro Bono Mobile", because they'd be able to afford something better if not for Robin Dyer's continual willingness to offer free legal aid to those who can't pay.
- Paul's first car in The Unexpected Witness is described at one point as a 1978 Classic Rusty.
- The Star Wars Legends continuity introduced the concept of "Uglies" to the franchise — starfighters cobbled together with pieces of other starfighters. They were usually barely airworthy, let alone spaceworthy, and only used by desperate bandits. The most infamous was the "Die-Wing", a TIE fighter cockpit with Y-wing engines, a slow, unshielded, weak-hulled, lightly-armed, flying death trap. It was even less reliable than the Imperial ship it was based on, which was designed for expendable pilots. The worst Uglies' main advantage was that they were notoriously unpredictable to trace. That said, a few instead reached Ace Custom territory, thanks to more standardized build schemes or better engineers.
- This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It: Dave's car is pretty pathetic, but John's is the real example. He drives an old Cadillac that he inherited from a deceased relative. Its tape deck is stuck blasting a tape of Creedence Clearwater Revival at maximum volume, and John can't find any way to stop it. He's stuffed pillows into every speaker.
- In Paper Towns, Ben's car RHAPAW (Rode Hard And Put Away Wet), a 15-year-old Buick "composed primarily out of duct tape and spackle" that runs "not on gasoline, but the inexhaustible fuel of human hope", certainly qualifies.
- Newspaper columnist D.L. Stewart recounts, via his book Father Knows Best — Sometimes, the considerable trouble he has with his MG Midget, which a salesman refers to at one point as "the English Edsel". When told it's in average shape for a Midget, the same salesman's response is "That bad, huh?" In six years, it gains 42,000 miles on its odometer, 20,000 of which come while it's attached to the back of a tow truck. Later on, some of the cars that his oldest son looks at (and in one case, actually buys) also qualify.
- In Watersong, Marci owns a thirty-year-old Gremlin, which she calls "Lucinda". When she gets into a car chase in Elegy, Alex is surprised that the car is able to start at all, let alone keep up with the supernaturally fast sirens.
- Conversant with Metallicar Syndrome as Skulduggery Pleasant is, he has to have multiple cars stashed around Ireland in order to avoid being spotted in seconds by suspects. One car Valkyrie really disapproves of is the yellow hatchback she dubs "the Canary Car".
- Witkacy's ride in Shaman Blues, as noted by everyone who rides in it with him. Among others, it lacks a hand brake, two windows, the inside light, seat covers (Witkacy uses blankets), and a working ventillation system, and it's considered too dangerous for any company to insure it. He defends it vehemently, though, and appears to be right, as it never fails (though sometimes takes several times to start up).
- The Girl from the Miracles District has the Chevy in Aleks' garage. Aleks is a mechanic so good at his job, it borders on supernatural, and he's sworn that he'll make the car work properly. He's been trying, along with Nikita, for several years now, and they've never managed to make its engine run for more than fifteen minutes.
- In Void City, Carl loans Eric one while Eric's own car is out of commission. He deliberately picked the worst one available since, knowing Eric as he does, he figures it's just going to get wrecked somehow and there's no point wasting a good car.
- The children's story The Rattletrap Car is about a such a car, which is in such bad condition it falls apart during a trip to the lake and has to be stuck back together with various toys and Chocolate Marshmallow Fudge Delight.
- The Jennifer Morgue: James Bond gets an Aston-Martin; Agent Bob Howard gets a Smart car. It's so underpowered that his life is seriously at risk when he tries to take it on the Autobahn. It develops shades of Cool Car later in the book, as its Bond-esque gadgets actually come in handy.
- Dead End Job Mysteries: While on the run, Helen Hawthorne traded her Lexus for one of these, which got her to Fort Lauderdale in Florida and promptly died, spending the next two years in a parking lot, just leaking oil and other stuff where it sat. When she finally gets it fixed enough to be barely functional in book 7, she calls it the Toad and winces every time it lets out a cloud of smoke and oil while she's driving, and she dreads it breaking down again. At the end of the book, having quit her latest job, she finally sells it to a mechanic who plans to use it for parts - and the money she gets is barely enough to pay the last set of repair bills on it.
- Adam Sandler's "Ode To My Car" is a profanity-laced Reggae-esque ballad with a chorus of "Piece of shit car, I got a piece of shit car".
- Jan and Dean had a lot of songs about cool cars like the Shelby Cobra and the Pontiac GTO. They also had a song called "Schlock Rod", about a jalopy that's almost falling apart and questionably customized.
- The Morris Minor in Madness' "Driving In My Car". One line sums it up: I'm satisfied I got this far. We are also frequently informed that it is "not quite a Jag-u-ar".
- Sir Mix-a-Lot (he who cannot lie about liking big butts) has a track called "My Hooptie."
- The Coup recorded a fantastic inversion of the Cruising In My Caddy type of song with Cars And Shoes, which lists off a series of increasingly terrible cars that they have owned, making the point that they're crap, but still better than walking.
- "Two Ton Paperweight" by Psychostick.
My. Car. Is a PIECE OF SHIT!!
Wan to drive you off a cliff,
Watch you crash into a ravine,
For the things you did to me,
You, STUPID CAR!!
- "My Chevette" by Audio Adrenaline.
- Bottle Rockets' 1000 Dollar Car suggests you buy a good guitar instead, it'll take you farther.
- Then there's the parody Christmas Carol based on "Jingle Bells", "Rusty Chevrolet" by Da Yoopers. The chorus, for a sample:
''Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke,
The door just flew away.
I light a match, to see the dash,
And then I start to pray.
Frame is bent, the muffler went,
The radio it's okay,
Oh what fun it is to drive
This rusty Chevrolet.
- They also have "Yooper Snow Rocket", which is about The Alleged Snowmobile.
- "500 (Shake baby shake)" by Lush, on the venerable Fiat Topolino:
When things are looking good there's always complications,
I can't be with you so I'm at the railway station
- And then there's Jonathan Richman's Dodge Veg-O-Matic:
I'm gonna tell you 'bout a car you'd best not buy.
The brakes'll fall off and you will sigh.
I'm gonna tell you 'bout a car that you won't like.
You had best stay home, sir, better take your bike.
- Arrogant Worms's song "Car Full of Pain" — complete with a verse describing how it is possessed by the Legions of Hell.
- "Weird Al" Yankovic's car in "Stop Draggin' My Car Around", which is apparently so bad, the manager at a local disco had it towed for being an eyesore in his parking lot, and later, Al wonders if he can trade it in for a used bicycle.
- The guys at Car Talk have been collecting these for some time now. Have a look.
- The tour bus in Eric Bogle's "Eric and the Informers":
We drove ourselves round in a Kombi van,
A rusty German coffin.
We cursed Adolf Hitler every time it broke down,
Which was everywhere and often.
- Clare & The Reasons' "Can Your Car Do That? I Don't Think So"
- "There Ain't Nothin' Wrong with the Radio" by Aaron Tippin. The car's a wreck, but the radio works perfectly.
She needs a carburetor, a set of plug wires
She's ridin' me around on four bald tires
The wipers don't work and the horn don't blow
But there ain't nothin' wrong with the radio
- "Teardrops on My Old Car", a parody of Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on My Guitar. 
- "One Piece At A Time" by Johnny Cash is a variation: He's put together a Cadillac by smuggling parts out of the factory over almost a quarter-century. The "psychobilly Cadillac"◊ looks very strange by the time he's done due to interim design changes, though he apparently got it to work okay somehow.
The headlights was another sightWe had two on the left and only one on the rightBut when I pulled out the switch, all three of 'em came on.
- The 1957 Chevy pickup truck from the C.W. McCall song (which is really more of recitation set to music) "Classified":
Well, I kicked the tires and I got in the seat and set on a petrified apple core and found a bunch of field mice livin' in the glove compartment. He says, "Her shaft is bent and her rear end leaks, you can fix her quick with an oily rag. Use a nail as a starter; I lost the key. Don't pay no mind to that whirrin' sound. She use a little oil, but outside a' that, she's cherry."
- The second verse of Billy Falcon's "Power Windows" is dedicated to one of these. The song goes on to say the car's owner doesn't need a Cool Car because he's found the Power of Love.
- Jim White's "Corvair" is something of a deconstruction.
I got a Corvair in my yardIt hasn't run in 15 yearsIt's a home for the birds nowIt's no longer a car.
- Roberto Carlos' "Calhambeque" (translated in Spanish by the same singer as "El Cacharrito") is about a man that gets an Alleged Car as a replacement after he sends his car (a Cadillac) to the repair shop, but ends up keeping the Alleged Car in lieu of the "normal" car (again, a freaking Cadillac) because the Alleged Car's quirkiness is an industrial-strength Chick Magnet.
- The second line in "Beverly Hills" by Weezer.
"My automobile is a piece of crap."
- The popular Tex-Mex singer, Selena had a song named 'Carcacha' (mexican word to refer to a run-down car, is somewhat offensive), the lyrics are entirely about a girl's boyfriend's car, which is the quintessence of the trope.
Carcacha, go step by step, don't stop "limping" forward.carcacha, bit by bit. Please don't leave us!
- The chorus translates roughly to:
- Alla Pugacheva's song "Daddy bought a car"... very cheaply.
- Two of Red Fang's videos feature a 1979 Impala Station Wagon. They buy it for only a few hundred dollars in "Wires" and modify it with a plow to run over all sorts of stuff on an empty runway. In "Hank Is Dead" they outfit it with a loudspeaker and play while sending out flyers for an Air Guitar competition. It's one of the rare occasions where they take a beat up, tired old clunker and actively turn it into a CoolCar by force of will.
- Josephine's car in Bo Diddley's "Ride on Josephine". Of course, he may not be talking about a car...
- Hillbilly Drummer Girl by Mono Puff
''Black behemoth Caddy, sleeping bag in backHoles right through the floorboards, a rolling chicken shack''
- Sausalito Summernight by Diesel, about a roadtrip from hell, Los Angeles to San Francisco in a craptacular Rambler
The engine's thumpin' like a discoWe oughtta dump 'er in the bay
- Then of course, there's "Music To Drive-By," an album credited to one such car. Lucas Abela gunned the engine on his aging Volkswagen Kombi and recorded the myriad sounds it made.
- The second verse of "Slip Away" by The Presidents of the United States of America is about one, but probably not the Cool Car that's the subject of "Mach 5".
I had a car.
The color was blue.
It kept breaking down.
So, what could I do?
I put an ad in the paper.
Yeah, I called it a steal.
This guy came to see it.
And we struck a deal.
- The old van that used to belong to Rivers of Nihil was notoriously shitty even by metal standards, where busted rattletrap vans that still somehow work are the norm. Adam Biggs walked one interviewer through many of the quirks: the driver's side door was effectively unusable because it would not shut unless one put all of their body weight into slamming it (which means that they had to enter through the passenger's side and climb over the seat to get to the driver's seat), the back door needed to be held up while holding the lock to get the lock to engage, the AC wouldn't turn on while the cruise control was engaged, the speedometer and gas gauge both jumped all over the place at random intervals, the oil pressure light was on constantly because the sensor was busted (the oil pressure was actually fine at the time of the interview as per Biggs), there was no left audio channel, the passenger side mirror was prone to swinging inwards when the door was closed, closing the glovebox made the audio exceedingly quiet until one manually pressed the tape in the cassette deck down, and finally, the rear heat did not work, only the AC. It was quite the spectacle, but they got a much better van and presumably sold the old one for whatever they could get for it in scrap value.
- In Øystein Sunde's "Engelsk bil" ("English Car"), the narrator sings about the terrible cars he's owned:
- His first English car was a Vauxhall Victor. He got tired of pushing it and bought a Saab.
- The Saab coughed and struggled all the time, and only had enough boot space for a hat.
- His Citroën rusted, trundled, leaked a lot and forced him to buy a bag full of uncommon tools.
- His Italian car could actually achieve a high RPM, but didn't last long.
- His second English car was a Hillman. He could hear it rust, the engine refused to work, and the windscreen wiper didn't work either.
- The De Soto was shiny and had a large engine, but ran out of fuel after driving a mere 100 metres.
- He currently has an unknown English car, which is no better than the others. The key snaps when he starts it, and he can't drive more than a mile before it stops. He also mentions that it sinks when he drives into a river - a pretty common problem for cars, but its inclusion suggests that he knows it from experience and that it happened because the car has horrible handling.
- The sloop Antelope from Barrett's Privateers by Stan Rogers qualifies. She is described as having a list to port, ragged sails, leaks badly enough that the pumps have to be run all the time, and her cannons are described as being both cracked (indicative of being poorly cast) and having a low shot weight (4 pounds in an era when even small warships often carried 12 or 18 pound guns).
- The opening of Relient K's song Breakdown
Oh what a lousy excuse for a car.
One mile to go, but I can't push it that far.
- "Rust In My Car" by New Zealand supergroup Citizen Band.
- "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers while not about an alleged car, draws imagery heavily reminiscent of one, especially the third verse which compares the singer's situation to a beat up truck that smells like cheap wine and doesn't start. The comparison actually fits nicely with the song's theme, which is about overcoming hardships in life despite hindrances and difficulties.
- The Dude's Torino from Dutch Pinball's The Big Lebowski, which includes rust stains, a broken headlight and a front bumper tied to the hood with rope. To add insult to injury, it doubles as a "bash toy" that the player hits to score points.
- The Jack Benny Program: Jack Benny's Maxwell. Originally a tape recording, its distinctive clattering, spluttering, squawking noise was later made by voice acting legend Mel Blanc.
- The Goon Show featured Henry Crun and Minnie Bannister at one point driving a vehicle that makes The Alleged Car look positively Bondworthy. Suffice to say, it's seen going at three miles an hour, and the wick in the engine goes out. Though given that, at various times, characters in the Goons drove pianos, brick walls, barrel organs and steam-driven rockets, an actual car, no matter what its condition, would have been fairly mundane.
- Car Talk:
- Click and Clack deal with these a lot, including infamously Tom's Dodge Dart, which he appeared as in the Pixar movie Cars.
- An interesting take: One caller described his car as running "rough for two minutes... then after six and a half minutes the engine dies." The caller turned out to be John Grunsfeld, who called in from the Space Shuttle while docked to the Mir space station.
- On his radio show, Jim Rome often tells the story of his Merkur XR4TI, which he calls "the worst car ever". (As an inside joke, Jim calls his production crew "the XR4TI Crew").
- Amos And Andy's taxicab, forming the fleet for the Fresh Air Taxicab Company of America, Inc.
- In Cabin Pressure, GERTI, the sole airplane of MJN Air, is an Alleged Aeroplane. Her systems regularly break down. Parts fall off of her. She's perpetually on the verge of breaking down permanently and putting MJN out of business.
Douglas Richardson: Most people have to stop and think before saying, "Aeroplane."
- In Adeptus Evangelion, this can be the Player's Evangelion if the player rolls poorly. It can be made by the lowest bidder or held together by duct tape (they're on the same table so it can't be both), have pressurized blood that squirts everywhere, lose bolts in battle that destroy nearby buildings, have a fractured mind, and be colored Neon Green.
- The Hetzer Wheeled Assault Gun is an alleged tank. Among its "virtues" are a fairly slow wheeled chassis that prevents it from traversing many types of terrain compounded by lack of a turret for its only weapon, a battery weak enough that its engine needs to keep running nonstop to keep it charged, and a tendency to reach the customer not quite fully assembled at times. (If you're lucky, somebody thought to include the bolts to fix the last components in place.) Thank you, Quickcell Armories. It arguably is one of the cheapest ways available to field an AC/20, but between its flaws and the fact that its big gun makes it an obvious fire magnet it's no surprise that many of its crews consider it a rolling coffin in-universe. Compare it to the Demolisher and you'll see why the latter excels in every possible way at the expense of the former. All that said, it is not unreasonable when you consider that the Hetzer is a real-life World War II era design.
- The Peregrine was an Alleged Helicopter. A Fragile Speedster with armor that couldn't protect it from a machine gun, it died of an enemy unit look at it funny(and did we mention it only had short-ranged weaponry?). Worse, the internal flywheel it used in place of a tail rotor had a nasty habit of breaking loose during hard landings and crashing through the cockpit. In the hangar, it had poorly-placed access hatches and a reactor so poorly shielded that the maintenance crew had to wear hazmat gear to work on the machine. Most commands simply stripped out the weapons and used them on better machines.
- There exists the occasional Alleged Humongous Mecha as well. Some Battlemechs are just not ready for prime time and have developed a reputation for being trouble to their own forces and perhaps a punchline as well. Most out-and-out losers quickly go extinct on their own, but then there's strangely long-lived problem children like the Assassin, a 40-ton 'Mech with a reputation for both lousy armor and missile launchers that tended to break down at the worst possible time... which was doubly bad because the bulk of its fighting weight was its missile launchers. Or perhaps you could think of the Daboku, precursor to the production-grade Mauler that was a massive Flawed Prototype. It was slow. It was absurdly lightly armored. Its weapons were low-powered for its weight. It overheated at the slightest provocation. Finally, it had an annoying tendency to eject its pilot when struck even by the mildest of torso hits (though this was probably for the best). Another Alleged BattleMech was the Matar, a 110-ton superheavy Mech designed during the Amaris Civil War as a machine intended to withstand an entire BattleMech company assault. It was quickly reduced to a fiasco and thus became known as "Amaris' Folly" when the leg actuators shut down during powered movement because of the extreme stresses it took for each of the actuators to undergo; the project was scrapped and Amaris' faction eventually lost the war when they could not find new ideas to overcome Aleksandr Kerensky's forces.
- The optional "Design Quirks" rules introduced in the Strategic Operations rule book adds a number of negative quirks to combat assets due to poor quality standards or designs, such as "Poor Workmanship" (more easily destroyed by a Critical Hit), "Poor sealing" (requires piloting checks to ensure the cockpit remains hermetically sealed), among a host of others like poor targeting computers and sensor suites.
- Chez Geek from Steve Jackson Games includes, as one of the things you can spend your money on, a card representing "Harold the Hoopty Car". It's worth a lot of Slack (points), but it's very expensive, reduces your effective Income for each turn by 1, and every turn it has a one-in-six chance of breaking down beyond repair. Spin-off game Chez Goth features a hearse with similar characteristics, because goths.
- In the unlikely event that a vehicle from Paranoia (especially one from R&D) isn't one of these to begin with, then carrying around a handful of mildly unhinged T-shooters with secret society missions to waste each other will probably seriously damage the systems before long. The second edition sample adventure, for example, featured a six-legged Spider Tank submarine built by taking a van and bolting on legs; the bot brain is going senile, and there's a bewildering array of unlabeled and/or mixed-up controls and gauges (pushing down the gas pedal fires a torpedo, for example, and some of the levers snap off as soon as you try to pull them, and as usual the operating manual is above your security clearance).
- In Warhammer 40,000 anything the Orks build or salvage will be the alleged buggy, but thanks to the crude-but-effective nature of Ork tech combined with the fact that red wunz go fasta means that they're surprisingly serviceable.
- Even among the Orks, however, the Looted Wagon is notoriously unreliable.
- The Eldar Wave Serpent had this problem for a long time in actual gameplay, since it combined relatively poor stats with a complete lack of any official model. Since the rules intended it to be the Eldar's primary troop transport, Eldar players used it anyway. Some of the custom figures made to represent it were awesome, others not so much. Today, a Cool Car Lightning Bruiser with a sweet model, decent toughness, and more firepower than most troop transports.
- The Sims:
- The Smoogo Minima, from The Sims 2, is the cheapest car in the game, and a parody of this trope. Sims even have trouble closing the (apparently poorly fitted) door! Notably, it merely looks the part; other than the door and the way it impacts Sims' stats, it runs just the same as any other Sim-car.
- The Sims 3 continues the tradition of having various cars of various expense available for purchase. Notably, the less expensive cars are indeed more likely to breakdown, meaning you might be late for work or school or whatever you're trying to get to, and you will get a negative moodlet.
- Some of the cars in Grand Theft Auto qualify. They look ugly, and are painfully slow.
- In Grand Theft Auto IV a few of the cars come in a 'beater' variant which is in horrible condition, with rusty bodywork, oxidized paint, missing panels and inferior performance (also, they backfire constantly). This one is a perfect example◊, and yes, that is duct-tape holding one of the windows in. And some of them even have alarms.
- The rusty beater cars in Grand Theft Auto V often even have trouble starting. Others like the Rat Loader have brakes that take several seconds to bring the car to a complete stop.
- Beater cars such as the Tampa were introduced to the series in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, with the sole intention of being customized by the player (also a new addition to the series.) These cars specifically were designed to allow for the maximum number of modifications and thus became the best cars in the game.
- There's also beater Glendales and Sadlers found in San Andreas in the woods that can't be fixed due to them actually being separate, pre-damaged models internally named GLENSHIT and SADLSHIT respectively.
- The strategy guide for Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories lampshades this trope with its description of the Moonbeam, the worst van in the game.
Moonbeam: The Moonbeam goes much faster if you shove it off a cliff, which is highly recommended. You'd be better off to get out and run rather than driving one of these.
- For a plane variant, check out the Dodo◊ in GTA III. Yes, the wings really are that stubby, and it's just as unstable as it looks. The devs were actually surprised that players figured out ways to fly the thing.
- In The Simpsons: Hit & Run, most vehicles which get destroyed are reduced to their frames, Buford T. Justice-style. They are still drivable, but have horrible acceleration, very low top speed, and terrible handling.
- Gran Turismo 4 has many useless (from the game's viewpoint, that is) historic cars, including the Daimler Motor Carriage (1 HP!), Ford Model T, Daihatsu Midget I, Fiat 500F/R, Subaru 360, 1948 VW Beetle, 1954 Corvette, etc.
- Forza Motorsport 4 has a couple famous Alleged Cars, like the Ford Pinto, the Chevrolet Corvair - famous for wrapping itself around trees due to massive oversteer tendencies, the Datsun 510, the Saab 99 Turbo, and the Mustang King Cobra. They all function fine, though they are painfully slow when stock - though some are absurdly fast once upgraded with more modern parts.
- The third game also had a number of alleged cars, including the Fiat 131 Abarth, the aforementioned Datsun 510, the 1969 Toyota 2000GT, the Porsche 914/6, the Lotus Elan Sprint, and the Alfa Romeo Giulia Sprint.
- In one of Forza Horizon 4's seasonal events, everyone must drive the three-wheeled Reliant Regal Supervan III, a precursor to the Reliant Robin mentioned on the Real Life page, on icy roads to boot. Fortunately, upgrades can be used. The game also has the Peel P50, the smallest vehicle to be designated as a car, which of course can be upgraded to a Lethal Joke Character.
- In The Secret World, all three Transylvania zones feature two brands of cars: FSO Polonez and Trabant. Both remnants of bygone years that the region spent behind the Iron Curtain. They frequently appear rusted and cannibalised from parts of other cars of their brand. A sighting of a car different than these two is so rare, it only happens once or twice per zone.
- Call of Duty has a rail shooter sequence where you ride in an old Citroen car through the French countryside while Germans in Kubelwagens chase after you.
- The second game has a similar sequence in a Sd.Kfz. 222 armored car that breaks down making a complete circle around the town.
- The entire point of Bad Piggies is to build vehicular contraptions that will transport your pig across the screen. Even if you survive the trip, your vehicle often will not.
- Battlefield 1 has an alleged tank in the form of the Black Bess (or Big Bess as the crew calls her) from the war story "Through Blood And Mud" which is so temperamental, the mechanic of the crew thinks even cursing can lead to something going wrong. Given the burst fuel and the fact one mission has the player having to steal replacement spark plugs from captured German village and having it still need additional Percussive Maintenance his claims are not that far off the mark. And this is all Truth in Television as early British tanks were almost as temperamental as shown in the game.
- TIE Fighter introduced the T-Wing, which was this for the Rebels. It was a rushed, poorly constructed replacement for the A-Wing, with poor maneuverability and an outdated navi-computer. The Rebels quickly realized this and decided it was best to just sell them to third parties for some quick cash. Surprisingly, the craft actually became quite popular in the Outer Rim thanks to the cheap parts, and probably some illegal tune ups. It's not much of a stretch given that, among their primary buyers, were pirates.
- In Star Wars: The Old Republic, the Bounty Hunter's personal starship is a D-5 Mantis, which they were required to steal during the Great Hunt. Despite supposedly being a rare and top-of-the-line vessel, theirs has definitely seen a lot of better days and its status as something of a rustbucket is lampshaded on several occasions.
- When Torian joins and comments on the Mantis' poor condition, a sentiment that Mako agrees with, the Bounty Hunter has the option to appear mildly insulted, revealing this was after they'd spent considerable time and money fixing the ship up off-screen.
- The T'liss Romulan Light Warbird of Star Trek Online is this in spades. The thing was the mayor's personal Warbird during his younger days (younger days meaning Star Trek: The Original Series young) and when you're rescued during combat, the rescuer is shocked that the ship hasn't fallen apart around your ears and personally calls your Singularity Drive an antique!
- Kerbal Space Program runs the gamut of alleged vehicles; rocket ships, planes, cars, with their allegedness being augmented or removed by the Design-It-Yourself Equipment. Rocket ships run into the obvious issue of exploding right after takeoff or with players forgetting to pack parachutes for the landing; in fact, there's a Game Mod specific built to prevent this with pre-mission checklists. Cool Planes frequently clip their jet engines off during takeoff if the player sets the landing gear too far forward. Rover wheels will catastrophically explode if run too fast, causing the vehicle to frequently roll wildly out of control.
- The main character's buddy's car in Showtime at the Gallows.
Hell on four wheels would be a better title for Steve's car, but of course Hell can't be nearly as disorderly. It certainly has the heat of a nightmarish inferno, but with all the junk scattered all over the floors, you're afraid the underworld wins in the neatness department. The decrepit state of the 'inferno' is intensified by a roaring noise that comes from the back of the car. Seemingly all the makings of purgatory...to go.
- The Saboteur has some delightful wrecks, such as the Corino LX Junker ("Junker" is actually part of its name). These vehicles are covered in rust, often have old furniture strapped to the roof, blow thick black smoke when accelerating (if you could call it that), and have a wobbling back wheel. At least their top speed is better than walking... unless it has undergone serious damage, in which case walking is actually faster.
- Beam NG has 3 alleged cars: the Ibishu Pigeon, a Reliant Robin/Piaggio Ape Expy, the stanced Ibishu Pessima, which is essentially a 90s sedan with no shock absorbers and the basic engine and the beater Ibishu Covet, which is a dirty 80s hatchback that constantly overheats, has blown struts and trim pieces from several trim levels.
- One scenario has you driving a cement mixer that not only likes to tip over the corners, but also loses parts as you drive it. In fact, the parts actually fall off so quickly that it is hard to complete the challenge (which takes about 4 minutes) without everything falling off before the truck reaches the finish.
- The (at this moment of writing Early Access) videogame Jalopy is Exactly What It Says on the Tin: you (the player) and your character's uncle embark through a Road Trip Plot through post-Glasnost Eastern Europe, riding a two-stroke car (an Expy of the Trabant called the "Laika") that takes twenty-two seconds to go from 0 to 60 mph and will see high maintenance through the journey (although exactly how high, though, will depend on the player's choices).
- One of the first favors you have to perform in Sleeping Dogs involves driving one of these into the harbor. The owner needs the insurance money to pay her husband's medical bills. Wei suggests selling it before being asked to crash it. The car is in pretty bad shape (one hit would probably render it inoperable) and it's quite obvious no one would buy it for a decent price.
- My Summer Car is all about this. You build the car from scratch, and unless you have exact knowledge of how to build a car from a frame and hundreds of parts, it's going to end up like this.
- Jalopy has the titular jalopy. Even after replacing all four tires, everything under the hood and the passenger-side door you'll be lucky to reach the border before something else breaks.
- Destiny 2: One of the Sparrows you can get is the Micro Mini, which is so small that your Guardian barely fits on it (imagine a grown man riding a motorized tricycle and youve got the idea), and seems to top out at about one mile per hour. Some other Sparrows have the opposite problem, speeding up and moving so fast that youre liable to crash into everything between you and your destination. The fact that the entire playerbase Drives Like Crazy (take a shot every time you see somebody spamming dance emotes while driving) does not help.
- The Murakami family's van in Kira-Kira. The main characters have a lot of trouble with it, and predictably, it breaks down completely when they're already in the middle of their Darkest Hour.
- Highway Blossoms: Marina's car (in fact her brother's) died of old age in the middle of the road, thus initiating the plot. When it was stolen later, it turned out it wasn't worth much more than scrap metal it was made from.
- Parodied with the Gremlin in Homestar Runner, which has only ever been seen sitting in place in the middle of a field, so it's probably just an old broken-down abandoned car. Even as a prop car to just sit in and pretend to drive, it's questionable, because the doors only open from the outside. That didn't stop Strong Bad from trying to take it on a road trip in one Strong Bad Email. As he said at the end of the episode:
Strong Bad: And that was our road trip. Or, more accurately our car trip, since we didn't go on any roads. Or, even more accurately, our car, since we didn't go on any trips either.
- The Weaselmobile in GEOWeasel, also known as Weas's mom's station wagon, tops out at, not five, but seven miles per hour.
- In an episode of the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Digital Series, Applejack and Big Mac find one of these to serve as the tour bus for the girls' band. It's so dilapidated that it falls apart as soon as AJ bangs on the fender. Subverted later in the short, when the girls manage to turn it into a Cool Car with the help of their powers.
- In Drive, the Machito is one of these, until the Emperor has it upgraded.
- In Freefall, the Savage Chicken starts out as an Alleged Spaceship. Florence actually manages to make it spaceworthy. How terrible is it? Well, let's let the spaceport air traffic controllers explain:
"Why aren't we shooting at them?"
"Budget interlock. The computer recognizes Sam and won't let us shoot a missile that's worth more than the predicted value of his ship."
"So what are we supposed to do? Take him down with rubber bands and paper clips?"
"Still too expensive. The computer will only authorize up to spit wads."
- Sam and Helix did manage to get it off the ground by themselves, an act they're very proud of. Unfortunately, the parade committee forced them to return the balloons shortly thereafter.
- Lovingly nicknamed "Ratmobile" in Stand Still, Stay Silent seems to be this... but luckily, they end up with better one, called "Catmobile" by fans. Good, because Ratmobile fell apart when they walked past it.
- In Girl Genius, one strip involves Agatha receiving a...rather poorly maintained walking house.
- Eric Remington's, as seen in this strip of Loserz.
- Project 0: Owen doesn't think too highly of the Buggy, but it's Aatu's vehicle of choice. But, as a bunch of 13 year olds, they're lucky to have a car at all.
- In Scary Go Round, Esther deGroot drives a car like this.
Esther: "I have a surprise for you," says my dad. "You know that car Hitler liked so much? I made you one out of rust."
- Commander Kitty has the CC Pomatus, CK's ship which has an "engine" instead of an engine room, a faulty transporter, a snarky, uncooperative AI, and an armory five decks below the main gun.
- In Inhuman Relations, Fred's clunker of a station wagon leaves a trail of smoke wherever it goes. That is, when it's not stalled.
- In Rhapsodies, Pauls drives a 1975 Station wagon which still keeps going much to everyones amazement. (He doesn't know what the mileage is since the odometer broke sometime after he moved to the Northwest.)
- The Schetch Pad has quite a few of these, including Finn's own 50-year-old Volkswagen.
- Oglaf has the ship in Bilge—upon its completion, the leader of the villagers who built it declared that it was a good reminder that all the hard work in the world was no substitute for actually knowing how to build a ship. They decided to sail it to battle against the Vikings anyway rather than let all their work go to waste. Even those Vikings were baffled as to how the thing caught fire.
- Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee:
- The DeLorean lives up (down?) to its reputation when Jerry Seinfeld picks up Patton Oswalt and it becomes the first car in the series to break down.
- The second car to break down on the series was the Siata 8V he uses to pick up Steve Martin. Before he even gets going, he tries out the controls and breaks the turn signal off.
- The Volkswagen pickup in which Jerry picks up Michael Richards doesn't break down, but it has definitely seen better days, being covered in patches of rust. Furthermore, it only has three doors — not that one of the doors fell or broke off, mind you, but it was only manufactured with three doors (two small ones on the passenger's side, one big one on the Driver's side.) If anything, it at least seems like a car you could picture Kramer driving.
- While not technically a car, the homemade plane built in Endless Saturdays certainly fits. It's constructed from a red wagon, has cardboard wings, and uses an exploding propane tank as a source of propulsion.
- Roadkill is built around this trope. They take an old beater of a car and take it on some grand adventure. There are far too many to list. Some notable examples:
- The "Draguar" that had to be given a car wash every few miles to prevent it from overheating.
- The Datsun 240Z that puked oil all over the track, broke frequently, and almost got them bounced from their event for being a general hazard.
- And the 1975 Corvette with no windshield, gutted interior, and brakes so bad, they did a slow down slide around on a stop sign and got pulled over.
- General Mayhem, a Charger (well, some of it is) with a motorhome engine (later replaced by a Hellcat engine) and some parts out of a wreck that died on them at the "24 Hours of Lemons" event (a whole racing competition specifically for Alleged Cars!) and some improvised bits. Authorities refused to register it.
- The Gremlin project car was not in good shape when it raced against a Prius, but the Prius lost hands-down by rolling to a halt after emitting "A Suffusion Of Yellow" halfway around the first lap. It had blown the engine block open, so they took it out into the desert to be crushed under a Chieftan MBT. They still have the Gremlin.
- Episode 5 featured a challenge to see who could get the most attention for the money on their way out to a cover shoot out of town, the two contenders being a new rental Lamborghini and a Model A rat rod borrowed from Sailor Jerry, with an overwhelming gender divide - all males they encountered wanted the Italian supercar while all females encountered wanted the rat rod - after getting the thing to stop doing its Old Faithful act, whilst dealing with its lack of instrumentation (it stopped, so obviously you're out of fuel) lack of comfort (you pull the door shut with string tied to the door's inner structure, as it has no interior lining) and low ground clearance (the first thing it does upon leaving the Motor Trend carpark is delay their breakfast out by over an hour, byh running aground on the kerb interface and resisting all attempts to budge it for over 45 minutes).
- In one episode of A Couple of C*nts in the Countryside, Cammy says that you could make Duncan's car break down by giving it a "quite hard dick slap."
- Regular Car Reviews:
- Mr. Regular's 2007 Honda Fit, "Silicone Sally". It's got 110,000 miles on it, it's not as powerful or fast as the car it replaced, and it's filled with enough silicone leak sealant to eliminate any resale value.
- The Chevy Chevette they reviewed takes it even further making a whopping 23 horsepower, an air cleaner that was non-serviceable until Justin got a third party one that could be, and was designated "Unsafe for highway use" when it was released
- Pretty much any car that is featured on Hoovie's Garage
- When Count Duckula wants to break the land-speed record, Igor builds him a car to do so. Sort of.
Duckula: Uh, are you sure this will be alright at 700 miles per hour?
Igor: It is wind-tunnel tested, m'lord.
Nanny: Is that when you stood it in the corridor and fanned it with your hand?
Igor: Silence, Nanny!
Nanny: Only bits fell off it then.
- In Dan Vs., nine times out of ten, the reason for Dan seeking revenge is due to something happening to his car, which is probably how it got to be in the condition it's in. People tend to assume it's been abandoned, and when it was accidentally donated to the Salvation Armed Forces, the volunteer responsible told him, "In my defense, no-one would want to keep a vehicle like that."
Salvation Armed Forces Employee: We only received one car donation today, and it was not in drivable condition.
Dan: Yes! That's the one!
- In Daria, almost every car that doesn't belong to Daria's family is one of these.
- Tom's Pinto. Eventually, his mother has this car hauled away in the middle of the night. He replaces it with another, which Daria describes as something you'd want to get a tetanus shot before handling.
- Mystik Spiral's affectionately named "Tank". It "was a van at one point", but breaks down so frequently that Jane has memorized the exact number of seconds you need to wait to hit its dashboard to make it go again.
- Trent's Plymouth Satellite. It overheats constantly, and Jane sarcastically refers to it as "an adventure on wheels."
Daria: What about your car?
Trent: It'll be here in the morning. No-one ever steals it; not sure why.
- The five-part DuckTales (1987) storyline that introduces Gizmoduck sees Scrooge and Launchpad acquire an alleged spaceship.
- In the Family Guy episode "There's Something About Paulie", a shady car dealer tries to sell Peter a car which Lois points out has dents, a steering wheel made of cardboard, and instead of an engine has a drawing of one. Despite this, Peter buys it immediately when the dealer tells him that it belonged to James Bond, and it breaks down shortly after he starts it up. The actual plot of the episode starts when Peter turns to The Mafia to destroy it so he can get a better one.
- There's this jewel:
Fry: I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky!
- Also in "Bendin' in the Wind" Fry finds an old, dug-up VW van with corpses in it.
Fry: Hey, Mister? Mind if I take this old van?
Surly Man: Sure. You wanna dump the corpses out of theres, it's yourses.
Fry: Yeah yeah, I've gotten used cars before.
- Another episode features a "1992 La Toura", some vague French car, as a running gag (oddly enough, modeled on a 1975 AMC Pacer) which barely works (justifiable in being a thousand years old).
- The Planet Express ship zigzags this trope. The characters make several comments on how poorly designed and ugly it is (the Professor even claiming that it's been known to fall apart just sitting in the hangar), the reactor is held together by tape, and up until the third movie it is quite literally fuelled by shit (well, dark matter, but since that's Nibbler's faeces...). But on the other hand, it can take a ludicrous amount of punishment from just about anything, and still fly, even when Fry is the one at the wheel.
- There's this jewel:
- In the Garfield and Friends episode "Lemon Aid", Jon wins one of these in a contest and foolishly sold away his own car before seeing it.
- Kim Possible: The Roth SL Coupe (a.k.a. "the Sloth") Kim's father gives her in the episode "Car Alarm"... before the tweebs soup it up. Ron's scooter definitely qualifies as The Alleged Motorcycle.
Wade: In the meantime, you can work on your... um...
Kim: Car. It's called a car, Wade.
Wade: Uh... technically, I'm not so sure.
- Stanley Ipkiss's indiscriminate-model clunker, complete with a portable driver's side door, from The Mask. (It's based on "The Loaner" from the movie - and the lack of door serves as a Call-Back to the scene where it breaks down.)
- In The Loud House, the titular family's vehicle, affectionately named "Vanzilla" is certainly this. Aside from having a tendency to break down, forcing the family to push it to force it to start back up, it is also known to have uncomfortable seats and faulty door locks. The only reason they haven't replaced is because Mr. Loud inherited it from his father, who inherited it from his grandfather, and so it is considered very dear to him. In "Vantastic Voyage", the one time they succeeded in getting him to part ways with the van caused him to become obsessive and possessive with the new van he purchased, prompting the family to re-possess Vanzilla in spite of its faults.
- In Mission Hill, Jim knows Andy hates the Bilgemobile.
- A variant in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Granny Smith refers to the Apples' wagon as a jalopy long after its wheels have broken off in "Pinkie Apple Pie". They cobble the pieces together into a raft, which survives a plunge down a waterfall only to fall apart when Pinkie Pie gently touches down on it, then build a sledge from the remains to drag their surviving luggage for the rest of the trip.
- Subverted in the Popeye short "The Spinach Roadster" with Popeye's car. While it's rather dingy and shabby, and is also hard to start up, it's remarkably durable, able to squeeze through a rocky path with little trouble. The only reason it actually breaks down is due to deliberate sabotage by Bluto. Popeye simply rebuilds it to be powered by spinach, whereupon it gets Super Speed and the ability to survive being hit by a train.
- On ReBoot, Bob's car never works properly. He describes it as a classic, but it's a recurring gag that the thing never runs — not even when a bug is about to infect Bob and company and turn them to stone (they have to resort to Percussive Maintenance to get it going again).
- The Simpsons:
- Crazy Vaclav, whose cars (especially the one that he shows to Homer, which is an apparent East European rip-off of the Reliant Robin (itself a Real Life example of The Alleged Car) are prone to breaking down, and were made in countries that no longer exist (and Homer can barely fit inside the damn thing). But they can go a dozen hectares on a single can of kerosene. Bilingual Bonus for those who noticed when Homer was instructed to put it in "H" to start it, H is the Cyrillic equivalent of the Roman N, for Neutral.
- Comic Book Guy's car, a "Kremlin", isn't much better. As he brags in The Simpsons: Hit & Run and the episode "Brake My Wife, Please", "I can't drive 55, 'cause it only goes 38!" If you have the speedometer turned on while driving as him that's clearly not the case... but still.
- Elderly Butt-Monkey Hans Moleman has an AMC Gremlin that blew up when he stopped the car mere inches from being smashed into a tree.
- Bart stole the engine from Skinner's car by tying it up to helium balloons. To which Skinner replies "That's a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine; there isn't even a Yugoslavia anymore! Bring it back at once!"
- Homer's regular car (which Homer once says it was made in Guatemala and other times a GM, but his mechanic states it was manufactured in Croatia from recycled Soviet tanks) does its job, but breaks up quite often (mostly because of who drives it).
- Ned Flanders' Geo.
Maude: Come on, Ned, move this thing!
Ned: I CAN'T! IT'S A GEO!
- The Canyonero. It's so big that it takes up two lanes, has lights that blind everything, has a tendency to roll, and has been known to spontaneously combust ("Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.")
- The Springfield Elementary school bus has been portrayed as this, owing to how underfunded the school is and the life of hard knocks from being driven by Otto. "The PTA Disbands!" has it in such poor shape that there's a visibly crumbling hole in the floor, and the students have a procedure to use their clothes as drag chutes because the brakes have stopped working. We then get a Cutaway Gag to the other school bus the school owns, which, while sitting in the parking lot, explodes when a tiny leaf lands on the roof.
- Star Wars Resistance: The Fireball, an old racing ship that Team Fireball is named after. It got its name because it has a tendency to explode while being piloted. Random pieces fall off when people pat it in the workshop. And when Kaz is piloting it during one race, the joystick detaches in his hands.
- The Technodrome from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987). It is a legitimately deadly war machine, when it works. Unfortunately for the bad guys that's almost never. Many a scheme was hatched just to get the darn thing running and it would remain trapped inoperable for entire seasons at a time. You could actually tell which season of the show you were watching by the location of the Technodrome. First, it was under New York, then it was in Dimension X, then it was in the center of the Earth, then it was trapped on aparticular asteroid in Dimension X, it returned to Earth but was trapped in the Arctic, then it was at the bottom of the ocean, until finally it was sent back to Dimension X, but without Shredder and Kraang.
- Tom and Jerry: The short Blue Cat Blues (yes, the infamous short that ends with the title characters committing suicide by sitting on a railroad track) has Tom buying a car reminiscent of a Ford model T from a used car dealer, complete with a bulb reed horn and malfunctioning engine. It soon gets run over and squashed flat by the Absurdly Long Limousine being driven by his rival.
- The Total Drama series feature several alleged vehicles, though only one of them is a car:
- The Lame-o-sine, complete with an obnoxious set of bull horns on the front.
- The Boat of Losers, though it was probably in the best of shape compared to the other alleged vehicles.
- The single prop plane in Island and the Total Drama Jumbo Jet are certainly less than airworthy, with the former's wings falling off after one flight and the latter's front-end falling off in the Action special.
- The contestant-built bikes in "That's Off the Chain" were built from scrap materials. Some held together while others fell apart or blew up.
- The Venture Bros. has Henchman #24's powder blue Nissan Stanza.
- Victor & Hugo's van was prone to backfiring, rumbling and crashing, though that was mainly due to the brothers' inability to drive correctly, or even remember who was behind the wheel. Given this treatment, it was surprisingly resilient and had a lot of Hammer Space in the rear.
- Wacky Races has a Cool Car or two but mostly ridiculous cars, including one made of scrap wood, one of discarded tank parts, and another that's apparently a mobile moonshine sill...
- The Cape drives a car that looks cool, but has a tendency to fall apart every episode.
- Mumbly, a clone of Wacky Races's Muttley, is a parody of Columbo right down to the car which fell apart into a pile whenever he parked it.
- The Bulletproof Bomb is a sedan of the 1920's driven by the Ant Hill Mob. Their special method to boost the car's speed is poking their feet through the floor of the car, lifting the car from the ground and running away in a similar fashion to Fred Flintstone and his cave car.
- Wait Till Your Father Gets Home has Harry buy a real lemon from an Honest John's Dealership - in this instance a new car dealership - with faults ranging from defective ignition, bad original tires to malfunctioning fuel pump (though it's more the dealership and shady salesman that's the problem in the episode).