Diego: There is no meaning. Nothing good lasts. Dreams die, the people you love leave. You end your life sad and alone. Everything is just dust in the wind.
Chel: I dont know why I ask you questions when your answers are always so soul-crushing.
Diego: Would you rather I lie to you?
Because Im Depressed is a Black Comedy webcomic by R. Eugene Ryan that has been running since 2013. It centers around Diego Rivera, a clinically depressed, chain-smoking, alcoholic widower trying to raise his daughter Chel, with the assistance of his somewhat less-dysfunctional roommates, Eve and Ben.
While there is continuity, the strip is primarily gag-a-day with the occasional short story arc.
Because I'm Depressed provides examples of:
- Abusive Parents: Though he's not physically abusive, Diego can be unkind or neglectful towards his daughter.
- Diego himself has nothing positive to say about his own upbringing.
- Accidental Unfortunate Gesture: In one strip Diego made what looked like a Nazi salute while hailing a cab... while wearing a shirt emblazoned with a Hindu swastika.
- Adoring the Pests: Ben's attempt to adopt an opossum.
- Alcoholic Parent: Diego.
- The Alleged Car: Ben's beater.Eve: Why is there no steering wheel? How did you drive this home!?
- Art Evolution: Very noticeable in the long run. The earliest strips were black-and-white and drawn in MS Paint, while recent ones are more detailed and have color and shading.
- Blinding Bangs: Ben.
- The Bully: In elementary school a bully steals Chel's backpack and threatens to beat her up.
- Happens again to Chel in middle school, though this time it's multiple girls picking on her for not dressing or acting feminine enough.
- Bungled Suicide: Diego's frequent attempts to end his life end either in this or with him getting cold feet.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Diego and Ada became friends in the fourth grade and started dating in high school before getting married.
- Cool Shades: Faisal wears these all the time. Even indoors. Even at night.
- Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: Diego's eyes are always ringed by dark circles.
- Delinquent Hair: Eve's frequently-changing hairdos.
- The Door Slams You: Diego accidentally does this to Chel, resulting in a black eye that CPS mistakes for an intentional injury.
- Early Installment Weirdness: Despite the comic overall being fairly grounded in reality and having a strong continuity, a couple of early strips feature Diego successfully killing himself and Eve apparently murdering someone so she could sell his blood.
- Flipping the Table: Diego ends a tabletop RPG campaign this way after one Critical Failure too many.
- Forgotten Birthday: Diego once managed to forget his own daughter's birthday, and had to beg for Eve's help to keep Chel from finding out.
- The Gambling Addict: Ben has lost a lot of money on lottery tickets and online poker.
- Hard Head: Diego smashed his head against the bathroom counter and spent hours lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood before being discovered, and the only long-term damage he seems to have suffered is a scar over his right eye.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Diego's father found Diego's attachment to an Imaginary Friend so annoying that he pretended to take it outside and shoot it while Diego watched.
- Insomnia Episode: One arc has Diego completely unable to sleep for over a week. He's only cured of his insomnia after Eve gives him a dose of elephant tranquilizer.
- The Lost Lenore: Ada's death is implied to be the root of Diego's self-destructive behavior, such as his alcoholism, his drug abuse, and his suicidal ideation. Over a decade after his wife's death, he is still obsessively attached to her.
- The Muse: Ada was Diego's muse when he used to write poetry. With her gone, he struggles to write anything.
- My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad: In one strip Chel and Yadira boast about their fathers' accomplishments. It's not a very even competition.
- The Noseless: Everybody initially, until late 2015. Occasionally lampshaded in recent strips.
- One Dose Fits All: Eve cures Diego of a serious case of insomnia by giving him a dose of elephant tranquilizer. It doesn't kill him, but it does knock him out for a few weeks.Ben: Are you sure this is safe? What if it kills him?
- Opaque Nerd Glasses: Dr. Indrani.
- Yadira as well, in earlier strips.
- Perma-Stubble: Ever-present along Diego's jawline.
- Really Gets Around: Both Ben and Eve have frequent casual sex with strangers. Eve identifies as polyamorous and has no intent of slowing down, while Ben has signified he may want to settle down at some point.
- RPG Episode: One arc has Ben and Diego revisit an unfinished campaign of "Dungeons & Knockoffs" from their high school years, with Eve as their DM.
- Rube Goldberg Device: Diego designs one in order to elaborately end his life.
- Self-Deprecation: A number of strips joke about how webcomics require no artistic or writing skill to make, and how their creators are untalented losers.
- The Shrink: Zelda, Diego's longtime therapist.
- Soul-Sucking Retail Job: Diego has spent most of his adult life working at an electronics store called "Byte Me". The years have ground him down to the point where he spends most of his break time either sneaking alcohol or crying.
- Speech-Bubble Censoring: In one strip the tail of Ben's speech bubble zags at just the right spot to spare us the sight of his Levitra-induced stiffy.
- Statuesque Stunner: Ada, the love of Diego's life, stood noticeably taller than him.
- Suicide as Comedy: Diego's constant attempts to end it all are always played for laughs. Even his roommates no longer take his suicide attempts seriously, as evidenced by them throwing a congratulatory party for Diego on his 100th attempt.
- World of Snark: Most of the recurring characters are snarkers, especially Eve and Diego.