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Characters / Homestuck Post Scratch Kids

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One by one, the Nobles will come, only to discover the remains of those who worshiped them and paved the way for their arrival. But it is then their duty to pave the way for others. For those from the planets through the glass, whatever that means.

When John and company "scratched" their session at the end of Act 5, things changed. Their session and universe were subjected to a cosmic Reset Button, and the resulting rebooted universe wasn't quite like the old one.


Many things, both large and small, were different, presumably to enable mankind to have a better chance at winning Sburb. The most prominent change is that the original kids and their parents have switched places, and now it's the guardians-turned-kids who will tackle the new session. (In actuality, though, they're paving the way for the other kids to arrive.)

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    The post-Scratch kids in general 

  • Artistic Age: They start playing Sburb at three years older than their pre-Scratch counterparts did, although their miniature sprites look the same age. Averted with their Hero Mode appearances, which usually depict them as being taller or more mature than their younger counterparts.
  • Badass Adorable: Roxy, who won't hesitate to dork out over wizards, and Jake, who often fumbles over himself trying to be an Action Hero, have incredible untapped potential as Sburb players.
  • Came Back Strong: As a result of the moons of Prospit and Derse being blown up while they were on their quest beds hidden within them, all four died and God-Tiered at the same time. All four have absolutely stupendous new abilities.
  • Cast Full of Gay: Three out of four of them are LGBT, with Jane being the only one who doesn't show any interest in the same gender.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: In the pre-Scratch universe, Nanna and Grandpa were shown in flashbacks as thirteen-year-old children in a brief sequence; while it was clearly relevant then, it also served as a preview for the appearance of Jane and Jake. Additionally, Jake's existence as Jade's penpal was introduced as far back as Act 3.
  • Classical Anti-Hero: Dirk describes the Nobles as this, believing that their only job (up until the Gods arrive) is to simply wait in a void session. However, he also describes Roxy as the closest thing to a Big Good that the party had.
  • Color-Coded Characters: They share the colours associated with the Sprites of the Pre-Scratch Session.
    • Jaspersprite was slightly darker than Roxy for some reason, likely tying into her mutated cat symbol, and it does correspond to her Beta Counterpart's trademark Scarf of Asskicking.
      • And it applies in reverse too; Jane's Cruxite, Kernel, and sprite all have identical colors to John's text. Dirk's are Dave-red, and Jake's are Jade-green.
  • Deconstruction: They seem to be deconstructions of their basic character types or of the Pre-Scratch Kids, especially Jane and Dirk. Jane is a deconstruction of John in that constantly suppressing her emotions eventually leads her to an emotional breakdown - which John eventually has. Roxy is a deconstruction of Rose in that not only is she unable to follow in the footsteps of her "mother", but her eventual dependence of alcohol and returning to it make her feel ashamed of herself. Dirk is a deconstruction of Dave in that he eventually takes Irony to the point where it's hard to see where the sexual fetishism and Hipster lifestyle begin and end, whereas Dave simply used it as a coping mechanism for his brother's lifestyle. Jake is a more straightforward deconstruction of Jade's Parody Sue status, as his backstory is the same as Jade's though it also leaves his as selfish and insensitive to others.
  • Disc-One Nuke: So far all of them have been shown to have access to materials and items that give them a distinct advantage over the initial trials the Pre-Scratch Session had to undergo.
    • And also inverted. As a Void Session they'll never have to face many of the challenges the Pre-Scratch Session did at all, like the Reckoning, but this makes the game Unwinnable by Design (via Timey-Wimey Ball).
  • Dysfunction Junction: Even more-so than the Pre-Scratch Kids. Jane has emotional issues and unrequited romantic feelings for Jake, which he is deliberately blind to, Roxy is sick of being her friends' pedestal and due to Jane not believing her about just how terrible her life in the future is, Dirk thinks he's a heartless asshole, and Jake bursts into tears due to the stress that Sburb puts on the group.
  • Foreshadowing: All of their introductions contain allusions to their class and aspect.
  • Future Slang: Roxy and Dirk use Troll terminology from time to time since human culture has essentially been co-opted by the Condesce by their time period.
  • Geodesic Cast: It also serves as an example in-universe. The post-Scratch kids are younger versions of the pre-Scratch kids' guardians, while possessing similar elements to the pre-Scratch kids themselves. In addition, they have elements in common with several of the deceased Trolls, such as their titles in Sburb.
  • Hairstyle Inertia: Their hairstyles are identical to the ones sported by their pre-scratch selves.
  • Heart Is an Awesome Power: Compared to the Pre-Scratch Kids, their powers seems a lot less useful. The Pre-Scratch Kids had control over wind (and the ability to turn into it), advanced knowledge over everything in Sburb and strong Light magic, time travel, and changing the volume and speed of any physical thing. The Post-Scratch kids have the ability to bring someone back from the dead, but only once (and considering how many people die in Sburb...), the ability to steal nothingness, the ability to destroy souls (which has only been shown once). Jake's power may actually be the strongest though it takes him a while to awaken to it.
  • In-Universe Nickname: They're known as the Nobles rather than the Heroes, because of some unknown quirk in the session that causes them to enter the session long after the Consorts and Lands have died. Fans adopted this quickly, as a quick way of distinguishing between the Pre and Post Scratch Human sessions.
  • Infinity +1 Sword: After they all enter Trickster Mode, they gain the ability to alchemize all seven of the legendary weapons of "a magical kingdom from cherubim folklore." The first of these is none other than the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, whose presumably future versions and variations are quite familiar to other players. Five others are usable to the post-scratch kids:
    • Jane: The Battlespork of Zillywut
    • Jake: The Flintlocks of Zillyhau
    • Roxy: The Blunderbuss of Zillywigh
    • Dirk: The Cutlass of Zillywair and the Unbreakable Katana. Yeah, really. It turns out Dirk was already using the most unremarkable of the "Zilly" weapons.
  • Jive Turkey: All four of them. Jane and Jake use archaic terms peppered with modern phrases and swearing (though in the former's case, not at first) and Roxy and Dirk use a deliberately alien vocabulary due to being raised in a pseudo-Troll society.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Jane and Jake each have similarities to Jade and John respectively. Curiously, between the Strider/Lalondes it seems to be gender-inverted; Roxy has more in common with Dave whilst Dirk has more in common with Rose.
  • Love Triangle: Some pretty simple ones. Both Dirk and Jane like Jake, who has considered the idea of a relationship with either of them, though he seems more interested in Dirk for the time being. Roxy likes Dirk and Jake though she decided not to try to pursue a relationship with Jake since Jane likes him. And finally, Jake likes Aranea, a dead player from the pre-scratch troll session.
  • Male Gaze: Weirdly averted. When they all go God Tier, Roxy (and to a lesser extent, Dirk) is the only one whose face is actually shown, whereas Jake gets a humorously lingering shot of his crotch.
  • Meaningful Name: Roxy's Land is Pyramids and Neon, Dirk's is Tombs and Krypton, and Jake's is Mounds and Xenon. The Noble gases in descending order are Helium (already used in Jane's land), Neon, Krypton, Xenon, Radon, and Ununoctium.
  • Meanwhile, in the Future…: Roxy and Dirk live in the far future of Earth, but experience events in concert with Jake and Jane in the past.
  • Off the Rails: In addition to being an Unwinnable by Design Void Session which lacks pre-entry prototyping and other mechanics essential to normal gameplaynote , the Post-Scratch session is influenced by the machinations of the Condesce and the arrival of the Pre-Scratch Kids. Calliope says that the session will eventually result in a win, making it incredibly atypical and essentially unique.
  • Royals Who Actually Do Something: Averted. As the players of a void session, they're Nobles, not Heroes. Jake Lampshades this:
    GT: I really thought we would have been treated to more action what with being legendary players of a mysterious cosmic game. But no it seems the primary duty of the so called nobles is to wait around twiddling our thumbs.
  • San Dimas Time: Roxy and Dirk use a modified form of Trollian that operates on this.
    • It also becomes apparent that their version of the session runs on this as a result
  • Shouldn't We Be in School Right Now?: Averted. Jane seemingly doesn't go to school, and Dirk, Jake, and Roxy can't.
  • Stock Superpowers: As a natural extension of Sburb. All of their abilities are thus far ambiguous though information about them is being dripped at a snail's pace.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: Played with. Jane and Jake's genetic children, John and Jade, take after them equally, though in terms of personality John leans towards Jake and Jade leans towards Jane, though they still have elements of the other's personality. Roxy and Dirk's genetic children, Rose and Dave, take after them respectively, but in terms of personality are more similar to their father and mother respectively.
  • Technicolor Eyes: Their eyes match their text colors, like their Pre-Scratch counterparts. Jake's eye color is the most plausible, with Jane's very light blue on the edge of normal human variation. Dirk's orange isn't completely impossible, as some shades of light brown verge on amber and can appear golden in the proper lighting, but Roxy's bright pink eyes are pushed to the extreme even if you assume she's an albino.
  • Teen Genius: All of them save Jane are very technically inclined. As for herself, Jane is a pretty smart cookie, though she can be clueless sometimes.
  • Theme Naming: A four letter name and a seven letter last name. Jake and Jane share last names with villains.
    • Jane and Jake continue the pattern started with Jade and John of having names starting with J, and their names are phonetically similar to their counterparts' (John and Jane, Jade and Jake); Jake English has the same initials as John Egbert.
    • Dirk has the same initials as Dave and Davesprite. Roxy has the same initials as Rose.
    • The chumhandles of all the humans except Jane reference the New Testament. Jake's chumhandle references the place where Jesus died. Roxy's chumhandle refers to Gnosticism (in addition to being a actual brandname). Dirk's handle refers to the blind man healed by Jesus. And while Jane's chumhandle breaks the pattern, her initials are JC and she's the Hero of Life.
      • They're all friendly with Calliope, who has a serpent theme.
  • Tomato Surprise: Dirk and Roxy actually live on the future wasteland that Earth has become. This was hinted at subtly before being revealed during the End of Act 6 Act 2.
  • True Companions: Despite everything that happened between them, it's evident that they still care about each other a lot.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Jane and Roxy. Dirk compares their friendship to a three legged race involving dynamite, and he's not far off.
  • Walking Spoiler: Talking about why they even exist spoils everything that the previous parts of the story were building up to.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: They fall to Trickster Mode one by one. While granting immense power that possibly amplifies a player's Aspect mastery past God-Tier levels, Trickster Mode makes a player believe that all of their personal problems can be solved if they act out their deepest desires without any inhibitions. More specifically:
    • Jane, in the wake of her deeply depressing fallout over Jake, becomes a Jake-obsessed Yandere and on sight of him immediately declares her love and desire to marry him and have his children. When he rejects her with his display of fear, she kicks him over a cliff in an attempt to kill him. After his subsequent transformation, she inexplicably drops the typical symptoms of being Yandere when she agrees to his proposal for polygamy.
    • When Jake transforms, he immediately agrees to marry and have a ZILLION babies with Jane, and he proposes in addition to this a plan to marry Roxy and Dirk as well. He does this because he knows/suspects they all like him and he's trying to make them all happy - even though moments earlier he was ready to break up with Dirk because he needed space.
    • Trickster!Roxy not only agrees to Jake's polygamous arrangement immediately upon conversion, but she also falls Off the Wagon completely. Yet she's actually only slightly worse off than she was in her life before sobriety. Though she makes grand proposals to persuade Dirk, she's been making such aggressive flirtation long before even her entrance into the game. It's her intimidating appearance and her endurance of his cynicism that allows her to attempt to convert an already emotionally compromised Dirk...
    • And yet he's so depressed, he turns out to be the lone subversion and fails to become mentally affected by Trickster Mode, though perhaps it's allowed him to be more blunt with everyone and break up with Jake.


Jane Crocker

Paradox Space Appearances: "Ace Sleuth Jane" | "A Fun Day for GCat" | "Secret Sufferer"

Though you guess that probably comes with the territory of being the HEIRESS APPARENT TO A BAKED GOODS EMPIRE. You don't suppose it hurts that you are said empire's NUMBER ONE FANGIRL, either! It should come as no surprise that you enjoy BAKING, but you also adore reading DETECTIVE STORIES. You fancy yourself a SKILLED PRANKSTRESS, if by no other measure than lineage. Though at times you feel it's tough to fill those shoes when you are SURROUNDED BY JOKERS. Seriously, the shenanigans perpetrated by your pals make your old school japes feel KIND OF PEDESTRIAN SOMETIMES, but oh well, you love them all anyway.

The post-Scratch iteration of Nanna Egbert, and John's post-Scratch counterpart, Jane is the heiress to the great Betty Crocker empire and the comedic legacy of her forefathers.

Her chumhandle is gutsyGumshoe. She is the Maid of Life of the Post-Scratch Human Session and is the leader of said session.

Her fetch modus is RECIPE, which allows her to view all the possible Alchemization combinations allowed to create the items she puts in it, as well as the grist cost for each combination, and her STRIFE SPECIBUS is allocated to the SPOONKIND ABSTRATUS, which can switch to the FORKKIND ABSTRATUS.

She speaks with proper grammar and capitalization, and uses a spot of old lingo.
She also likes using bucktoothed emotes! :B
And she has a distinctive laugh. Hoo hoo!

  • Accent Relapse: Played straight compared to John, though later inverted.
  • Action Girl: To an extent, though she never sees as much combat as Rose or Jade. Played straight when she becomes brainwashed.
  • Advanced Tech 2000: The Junior Battermaster's Bowlbuster Stirring Solution 5000.
  • Agent Scully: Acts as this to Roxy as they argue the existence of the Batterwitch. This is later justified by Jane living in a time in which Betty Crocker's influence is subtle instead of the overt tyranny of Roxy's time period. Jane also displays this to Gamzee and Calliope as well.
  • Agitated Item Stomping: Does it to her chat device after a particularly frustrating conversation with Jake in which he forgets her birthday party and drives her completely nuts by continuing to blather about his relationship problems with Dirk.
    ROXY: jane
    ROXY: yo uh
    ROXY: janey
    ROXY: u ok there
  • And I Must Scream: She's implied to be fully aware of her Crockertier actions.
  • Angrish: When in Crockertier Mode, she's visibly annoyed by Jade getting crushed by a house, and mutters death threats to Aranea under her breath.
  • Anguished Declaration of Love: Subverted, when Jake straight up asks her about their mutual feelings towards each other, Jane denies them and then immediately regrets it, and tries to immediately take it back, but Jake thinks she's just trying to comfort him platonically.
  • Anime Hair: Much like her relatives John and Jade, her hair has impossible cowlicks.
  • Antiquated Linguistics: Her speech implies a southern dialect (though it gradually disappears the more time she spends in the Medium, and is gone completely by the time she enters Crockertier Mode, with a few exceptions) and she occasionally uses old-timey language, though never to Jake's extent.
  • Audience Surrogate: Her skepticism and eventual Skepticism Failure make her seem like this due to the fact that the Scratch also introduced many story features new to both the reader and characters.
  • Bad "Bad Acting": Played for Drama. Her attempts at seeming uncaring when Jake misinterprets her feelings for him end up disturbing him.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: Parodied. Caliborn repeatedly calls her fat and ugly, but has a clear - and very disturbing - attraction to her. Played straight in guest art, however, which tends to render her plus-sized but no less cuter than the other kids.
  • The Big Girl: In Crockertier Mode, to the point where all of her old friends are extremely scared of her. She's also got a few elements of The Chick, though these fade away in her time in the Medium. Even way before that, her Dad was proud that she's able to lift a whole fridge.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: In [S] Game Over, she's got a pretty thick pair of grey eyebrows.
  • Big "SHUT UP!": Delivers one to Jake, after she had enough of listening to him about his relationship problems with Dirk.
  • Birds of a Feather: Like Meenah, she is the other heir to Betty Crocker's fortune (with Meenah becoming Betty Crocker in an Alternate Timeline) and with A1 Betty Crocker, Feferi. They all have the Life Aspect, which supports this.
  • Boyish Short Hair: Her hair is like John's, but curlier and slightly longer.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: After Grimbark Jade teleports her tiaratop on her head and makes her go Crockertier.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: Her relationship with her dad, though it's much friendlier than most examples.
  • Brawn Hilda: She isn't one, but her father seems to want her to grow up to be strong enough to lift a fridge. This dream seems to have become half-true, since she's now very strong likely due to the combined strain Sburb has put on her as well as ascending to God Tier.
  • Brutal Honesty: In Crockertier Mode. While Jane always had trouble being patient with her friends, in Crockertier Mode, she lets her feelings known instantly.
  • Buffy Speak: Out of excitement for Sburb Alpha's delivery, she calls the letter box signal flag the flappy thing, THE FLAPPY SWINGY DOODAD, THE ARM DEALIE, and THE GODDARNED RED SWINGY FLAPPY LEVER ARM THINGAMABOB...ON THE MAILBOX.note 
  • But Thou Must!: When seeing a God Tier Gamzee greet her at her home in LOCAH, despite it being an interactive sequence, her responses to having Gamzee be her guide are "No" and "Fuck no".
    • When Gamzee is selling her his "potions", you have the option of clicking "Yes" or "No". Clicking "No" gives you a different dialogue screen, but it still winds up with her reluctantly buying the potion.
    • Later, Crockertier Jane resells the same potions to Kanaya, and "No" is never an option for her, despite the absolutely exorbitant prices.
  • Call-Back: Her room is loaded with them. Also a Mythology Gag since she really seems to like Problem Sleuth; her shirt is even a sprite version of one of the first enemies.
    • Mentions having a mental breakdown after learning that the company she's about to inherit makes Gushers, which are good for two things - sensory deprivation and inducing vomiting. Sound familiar?
  • Can't Spit It Out: To Jake. Even when he asks her up front about it. Accidentally invokes Let's Just Be Friends.
    • Digs her hole even deeper by encouraging Jake to be more forward with Dirk, and outright suggests they date. Jane is appalled by her own stupidity. When some fans brought up her being mindcontrolled into saying it, the Huss himself all but laughed at the idea of teenagers having to be forced to act like dumbasses.
    • Finally Averted when Trickster!Jane tells Jake how much she loves him. Though he's kind of creeped out by her demeanor.
  • Captain Oblivious: She's completely unaware of Crockercorp's influence on her, which Roxy is always trying to warn her about. Justified by the fact that in Roxy and Dirk's time, the Condesce is a tyrannical ruler, whereas in Jane and Jake's, her interference with humanity is subtle.
  • Chew Toy: She is a mild example. It is taken Up to Eleven during Act 6 Act 5. Not only Jake accidentally ruins her birthday, but Caliborn irritates her and makes her believe her father is dead, she becomes depressed only to end up with her entering to Trickster Mode.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: To Gamzee.
  • Combat Medic: She's a hero of Life, but also a close-range fighter. And she's a good shot with that fork too.
  • Comically Serious: In Crockertier Mode, she still has her emotions, though only expresses them through dull and simple language. This leads to a few situations like this.
  • Conditioned to Accept Horror: Subverted. Roxy and Dirk are always telling her to abandon Crockercorp technology because it's harmful to her. She doesn't believe them, as she sees it simply as annoying advertising. It's then revealed that Roxy and Dirk live in a time when Betty Crocker has taken over Earth, meaning that their overblown fears of Crocker are justified.
  • Corrupt the Cutie: Crockertier Mode turned Jane into an emotionless killer, though the "emotionless" part turns out to be an act. She may be fully aware of what she's doing, but unable to stop it.
  • Cosmic Plaything: She isn't able to prototype pre-Medium because Skaia gave her a Void session, because she didn't prototype pre-Medium. Apparently, Skaia knows and sees all, and gave them a Void session in advance, presumably in order to save time. Justified, as they're simply paving the way for the Pre-Scratch Kids, effectively making an 8-player session.
  • Covert Pervert: Was mesmerized by Gamzee's codpiece and openly stared at Jake's crotch after his god-tier outfit turned out to be pantless.
  • Creator In-Joke: Trickster!Jane's bafflingly gleeful declaration of feeling Caucasian is Hussie's way of poking fun at fans who get worked up over what race the kids are all supposed to be.
    • Later Retconned into "Peachy" after it was misinterpreted as a Take That! against parts of the fandom.
    Hussie: But actually what motivates me more to revise it is noticing more than a few unsavory individuals using it as justification to harass POCs [people of color] or anyone who, reasonably, wanted to voice their concerns. On reflection I’d rather not have my decisions serve as fodder for the arguments of such people. They don’t speak for me.
  • Cultured Badass: Compared to her three co-players. Justified by the fact that she was raised as the heir to Crockercorp and on her Grandfather's comedies.
  • Cunning Like a Fox: Her main business tactic when dealing with Kanaya. She even gets compared to a fox in the same flash.
  • Cute and Psycho: Trickster Mode reveals that she's got a lot of issues, with Jake being one of many.
  • Damned by Faint Praise: If her praise of Gushers is any indication, they're really good if you need to induce vomiting.
  • Dark Action Girl: In Crockertier Mode, she threatens to murder Aranea, kills Karkat (though revives him afterwards), and forces Jake to marry her, all of which is played for drama.
  • Dark Chick: Even when brainwashed by an evil alien overlord, she's still one of the saner members of the cast.
  • Dating What Daddy Hates: To which he only feels STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVAL.
  • Dead All Along: Inverted with the version of her from the retconned timeline. She was thought to be dead when meeting with Jade and Calliope, but the revelation that Vriska simply knocked her unconscious flipped the situation on its head.
  • Deadpan Snarker: While never quite as much as Rose or Dirk, she has her occasional moments.
    "We are all such WINNERS!"
  • Decoy Protagonist: Jane is built up to be the Tritagonist of the post-Scratch kids much like how John was for the pre-Scratch kids. However, Roxy proves herself to be the most emotionally stable of the post-Scratch kids and ends up more active in the plot, being the Sole Survivor of [S] GAME OVER and the one who ultimately fights on the front lines against Her Imperious Condescension and deals the final blow while Jane plays more of a supporting role.
  • Determinator: She is very, very stubborn. While she listens to what others have to say, she doesn't make any attempt to follow their advice. This results in her getting brainwashed, however, by refusing to switch to non-Crockercorp devices, which she chalks up to brand loyalty (though in reality, she's being brainwashed). Even when being forcibly put to sleep using Mind Control, she still fights on, attempting to kill her attacker.
  • Did You Think I Can't Feel?: Jane finally flips her shit (and a table) once she's had enough of Jake solely talking to her about his relationship with Dirk.
  • Disappointed in You: Jane gives this vibe toward Roxy after hearing her talk drunk, especially saying what would her Mom think of her behavior.
  • Dissonant Serenity: After the gets brainwashed, she still remains as calm and precise as she previously was.
  • Does Not Like Spam: Doesn't like Gushers if her faint praise is any indication.
    • In a direct mirror to John: he likes gushers, but hates cake. She likes cake, but hates gushers.
  • Doom Magnet: She's the constant target of assassination attempts.
  • Dreaming of Things to Come: Jane awakens on Prospit the night before the Sburb Alpha comes out, and has briefly seen Skaian visions during blackouts since.
  • Easily Forgiven: She forgives the reader for wanting to call her something rude.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Even while brainwashed, she's completely and utterly disgusted that Aranea used Jake to bring harm to her Alternate Universe Granddaughter. She also still harbours mixed feelings towards Jake, but that's for other reasons.
  • Evil Costume Switch: When inflicted with Crockertier, her outfit becomes red and black, her pupils turn red, while the sclera goes black.
  • Fake Ultimate Hero: Subverted, as she's heroically aligned and has the Aspect of life, but the salamanders of her planet saw her as this. When they learned that she wouldn't arrive at LOCAH for millions of years, they started burying their own graves.
  • Fangirl: To Betty Crocker, though it's pretty justified in that she's the Heiress to the company, and possibly also because she's brainwashed into liking it. She also likes Problem Sleuth, Jeff Foxworthy, Harry Anderson, and mustached comedians and private eyes in general.
  • Fearless Fool: Charges into Sburb with more determination and bravery than John did, though it proves to be much more problematic.
  • Female Gaze: When Jake reaches God Tier, his crotch is reflecting in her glasses. The same happens when she meets Gamzee.
  • Fetish: She seems to have a thing for men with mustaches or at least comedians with mustaches. This may have something to do with her admiration and respect for her grandfather and great-grandfather, who were both mustached comedians.
    • She also seems to have a general fixation with crotches, which is Played for Laughs.
  • The Fettered: What she turns into.
  • Flipping the Table: In a fit of rage, she flips over a table during her birthday party, destroying a cake in the process.
  • Foreshadowing: When she levels up, we see the very next level on her echeladder is "Heiress Sans Parent".
    • On the Sburb loading icon, its color matches the eye color of the most important player. For example, the Kids' session has a green logo, matching Jade's eyes, and Trolls' session had a purple logo, matching Gamzee's, ect. But their session has a red logo, and none of them have red eyes. It turns out to be her eyes, post Crockertier Mode.
  • Fork Fencing: Upgrades to the Fork Specibus at 11:11 AM. She get the most use out of it after being overwritten by her Tiaratop.
  • Freudian Trio: All three, with her normal self, (The Kirk) and her Crockertier self. (The Spock) Depending on the disposition of the character she's interacting with, she usually fits into The McCoy, and now seems to be this.
  • Fridge Horror: In-Universe, she has some regarding her dad's Hallway Cera, and how she wishes she could have the happy ending sans missing, presumed dead father that he had.
  • Funny Spoon: Her initial and favorite Weapon of Choice.
  • Game-Breaker:
    • In-Universe, Heroes of Life all have the ability to heal others, with class not seeming to affect this ability. This is especially handy in Jane's session, which is caught in the crossfire of the Alternian and Pre-Scratch sessions.
    • Jane also has access to Crocker Corp technology meant specifically to work around Sburb's mechanics, like the Gristwidget 12000.
  • Genius Ditz: Like John, she subverts the Idiot Hero trope and ends up as this. She's prone to bad decisions and being impulsive, though she has her occasional flashes of brilliance.
  • Genki Girl: Before Sburb, she was energetic and friendly. Afterwards, she becomes jaded and mellow, allowing her transition into Crockertier Mode much easier.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Jane scrupulously avoids using any actual swear words, initially at least. As time has gone on, she's started peppering her speech with them.
  • Internet Jerk: She feels incredibly satisfied after her online rampage against Jake, though later regrets it when she meets him again face-to-face.
  • Grammar Nazi: As seen in this BettyBother:
    GT: A joint gift to him from she and i.
    GG: Her and me.
    GT: What? Who and you now?
    GG: "A joint gift from her and me." Grammar, Jake!
  • Green Thumb: Her Trickster mode causes plants to grow across her land.
  • Guest Fighter: One of the 3 dateable Homestuck characters present in Namco High.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Her time in the Medium eventually gives her a very, very short fuse. A lot like someone else we know...
  • Happily Adopted: By (probably) her genetic grandson.
  • Hartman Hips: She seems to have these in [S] GAME OVER, though it might just be Depending on the Artist. Calliope also draws her with these, and Caliborn's comments imply that she's more filled out than Roxy, though only after calling her fat.
  • Hard Boiled Detective: Aspires to be one as evidenced with her BettyBother handle, gutsyGumshoe. This aspiration got her father in a spot of trouble with the law.
  • Healing Hands: Her Life powers manifest as a beam of blue energy from her hand. It's inverted for undead targets, like Kanaya, which kills them instead. She can also restore other players' health with her powers.
  • Healing Magic Is the Hardest: She can reverse death, but only once per person.
  • Heroic BSoD: She has an intense emotional and mental breakdown due to a combination of her dad's presumed death, Jake being too blind to realize her feelings for him, and Caliborn calling her a "fat ugly whore". Then Trickster Mode happens...
  • Hollywood Pudgy: Invoked with Caliborn's bullying, to paint him as even more of a jerk than before. She's got a rather modest pear figure and is implied to have a stockier figure than the other human girls, though most artwork has her with the same body type as the others for the purpose of simple art.
  • Honest John's Dealership: Deals with Kanaya as a carrotish "businesswoman" rather than as the Condesce's stick. And just what does she sell at an exorbitantly high price? Gamzee's "potions." Your Friendly Neighborhood Rainbow Drinker just can't resist.
  • Hope Bringer: Her Trickster Mode form has the power to bring life to a planet that's been dead for billions of years.
  • Hot-Blooded: Not as much as Rose or Jake, though she's got her moments.
  • I Believe That You Believe It: Jane wishes Jake Godspeed on his cyborg bunny project, despite finding it strange and silly.
  • Idiot Hero: Downplayed. While she's no idiot, she has a penchant for making terrible choices. Also subverted, just like John, which might also make her a Genius Ditz.
  • If I Can't Have You...: Attempts this in Trickster Mode by kicking Jake over a cliff, but this instead results in his own engagement of Trickster Mode.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Blame DD's Red Miles.
    • Happens once again in GAME OVER, mere moments after Jake pulls a Senseless Sacrifice to save her from the sword that Aranea tried to fling at her. Unfortunately, it's a little more permanent this time round. Later undone by John.
    • She does this to Jake to get rid of his hope field, which has the unfortunate side-effect of destroying Ghost Brain Dirk - which in turn leaves Aranea alive and with her soul. She also does it to a doomed Alternate Timeline Roxy who later gets replaced with the Game Over Roxy.
  • Improbable Aiming Skills: She's so good at throwing her fork that it can penetrate a field of raw Hope. Justified, as 6 months of relying on your aim to survive would leave you a good shot.
  • Improbable Weapon User: Spoons and forks. She eventually starts using larger forks as weapons, meaning that her Specibus skirts the line between FORKKIND and TRIDENTKIND, Feferi's Specibus.
  • Immortality: Played with. She gets stabbed to death before the game even starts, but as a Maiden of Life, she is revived by her powers. It only works once, though, which screws her over later on when she dies a Just death under the Condesce's control.
  • In Name Only: Dirk says that she's the "Team Leader", but that he'll be pulling all the strings. When things get out of his control and Jane turns into a villain, Roxy becomes the closest thing to her session's leader.
  • Innocent Blue Eyes: Their transition into red signifies her new role as a reluctant villain.
  • It Only Works Once: Her ability to revive the dead will only work once on an individual person.
  • Jive Turkey: Not as much as Jake, though she also peppers her speak with archaic words and odd sentence structures. Though due to influence from Roxy, also a Jive Turkey, however, she begins speaking with different slang rather than no slang.
  • Jumped at the Call: Pretty much the only member of her session excited to actually play the game, and pretty happy to explore LOCAH.
  • Karmic Death: The Condesce's shenanigans while possessing Jane rendered her stomach skewering a Just death. Later averted, when John saves Vriska from Terezi, who in turn saves Jane from Aranea. This has put an end to Jane's brainwashed state.
  • Large Ham: Considering her relatives and her Pre-Scratch self, this shouldn't be so much of a surprise. She has a tendency to get excited and over-reactive very easily, which tends to get on her friends' nerves.
  • The Leader: Of her session, at least at first.
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: "You once dabbled in AMATEUR BOTANY but found it TOO FRUSTRATING, because your VEGETABLES KEPT DISAP-actually you know what, you DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." It was later revealed Jake and Roxy were the ones stealing her pumpkins, partially by accident.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: Unlike Jake, she is completely unaware Roxy and Dirk live in the future. This is because of her initial Agent Scully nature being too overpowering for Roxy to try to tell her otherwise.
  • Luminescent Blush: After Dave calls her attractive. It's the first sign that her personality still exists under the Condesce's influence.
  • Made of Iron: Survived being blown out of a second story window with no injuries.
  • Mama Bear: Her relationship with Jade. When Aranea kills her, Jane attempts to kill her while she's asleep, though she is realistically killed.
  • Manic Pixie Dream Girl: In Trickster Mode. Later deconstructed when she regrets her in actions in it.
  • Meganekko: Dave thinks that she's attractive. She's shown to be more developed than the other human girls, though the sprites leave the attractiveness of characters up for interpretation.
  • Mood-Swinger: She goes from horribly depressed, to Trickster Mode in what can only be a few minutes. Justified by Trickster Mode's properties.
  • Mouthscreen: In a panel that's disturbing and Narmy in equal measure, Crockertier Jane's Simpsonian lips part so that she may explain to Jake why she's forcing him into marriage and Sex Slavery despite her absolute contempt for him:
    JANE: You're lucky you're so hot.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: She levels up by throwing at her at the ground in disgust.
  • My Future Self and Me: With the arrival of the battleship, Jane and Nanna are the only Sburb player(s) to have both of their pre/post-scratch incarnations alive in the same universe simultaneously, and the instance of Nanna from the pre-retcon timeline has revealed that she's come along too. All three have met face to face.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Played for Laughs. When she gets angry at Jake, she immediately regrets tearing up her Tobias poster.
    • Completely played straight when she recalled her actions post-retcon, and recalls she accidentally killed her timeline's Roxy while throwing her fork at Rose in a fit of rage.
  • Mythology Gag: Two of her Echeladder levels are "Haberdasher's Daughter" and "Sodajerk's Confidante". Both of these are references to the title character of Problem Sleuth, who had two ratings named "Groom to the Haberdasher's Daughter" and "Suitor to the Sodajerk's Confidante".
  • Nice Hat: Has one filled with memories.
  • Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Her actions toward Jake end up creeping him out unintentionally.
    • In Trickster Mode, she is... unsettling, to say the least.
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Poor, poor Jane.
  • Noodle Implements: Something about disappearing pumpkins, which frustrated her to the point of giving up on gardening.
  • Noodle Incident: Her love of detectives and her aspiration to become one regularly gets her father in trouble with the law. There was also the incident involving disappearing pumpkins that she really didn't want to talk about.
  • Not So Above It All: Despite claiming to be a being of supreme logic and rationality, she falls prey to this on occasion.
  • Not So Stoic: Twice as Crockertier Mode. The first is when Dave calls her "johns hot mom", and the second is when Gamzee accidentally feels her up, which makes her go ballistic. Happens again when she tells Jake he's being forced to marry her.
    "JANE: You're luck you're so hot."
  • Oblivious Guilt Slinging:
    • After the mailbox explosion, Jane contacts Roxy and apologizes for doubting her. Roxy says Jane is making her feel bad... because it turns out she was trying to set up a fake assassination attempt involving an exploding copy of the game just so Jane would start believing her.
    • She's on the receiving end when she fails to be honest with Jake about her feelings, leading him to open up to her as Just Friends. Watching her beat herself up about it as she only digs herself deeper is both funny and heart-wrenching, and Jake's oblivious praise of her only twists the knife further. 5 months later, after listening to one too many relationship problem between Jake and Dirk, while Jake is praising her, she snaps. Complete with Twitchy Eye and Big "SHUT UP!".
  • Our Hero Is Dead: Twice, with both her dreamself and her realself. Played straight when she ends up being okay both times anyways. Then it happens again, but she gets better.
    • Happens a third time with the timeline John and Roxy retcon.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: She seems to be a jab towards interpretations of Vriska that think this. While Jane is a prankster and aspiring comedian who feels that she cannot live up to her family's name, Vriska was similar. Though unlike Vriska, she doesn't really seem to care.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Behold.
  • Perpetual Frowner: In Crockertier Mode, she's almost always frowning.
  • The Pollyanna: She really doesn't seem all that worried about multiple recent assassination attempts, though the one where she actually got stabbed did upset her somewhat. According to Rose, both she and John are Cursed With Awesome in this regard.
  • Power of Love: Her powers as the Maid of Life get turned Up to Eleven in Trickster Mode, meaning that she can turn Horrorterrors into adorable cherubim and harmless tentacled monsters.
  • Precision F-Strike: Delivers one to Jake after getting fed up with his Wall of Text about his relationship with Dirk. Even more intense due to her normally using Symbol Swearing and Gosh Darn It to Heck!.
    GG: JAKE.
    GT: Wha...
    GG: JUST,
    GG: SHUT,
  • Poster-Gallery Bedroom: Her room is covered in posters of Problem Sleuth, various movies, and funnyman pinups, especially of Ron Swanson. This is to mirror John's posters of bad movies and Liv Tyler.
  • Red and Black and Evil All Over: The Condesce's mind control turns her normally grey and green Life robes red and white, and turns her eyes red and black.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Her irises and robes turn from cyan and beige (respectively) to bright red when she's being controlled by the Condesce, who's empire is associated with bright red.
  • Reluctant Psycho: Her Crockertier Mode plays with this. She's aware of what she's doing, but is unable to stop it. However, how much of it is her free will or the Condesce's control is deliberately left ambiguous.
  • Revive Kills Zombie: Her Trickster Modes life power kills undead underlings instantly.
    • She also threatens Kanaya with this, to no avail
  • Ridiculously Average Guy: Just like John, she's just a normal teenager, which sets her apart from her friends greatly.
  • Right-Hand Cat: The normally aloof GCAT suddenly teleports into Crockertier Jane's arms so she can get her Blofeld on while talking to Jake.
  • Rule of Symbolism: When John made his Cruxite Artifact, needed to enter the Medium, he created a tree that dropped an apple. When Jane makes her Cruxite Artifact, she makes a tree that doesn't drop anything and simply vanishes. Rose uses plants as a metaphor for whether a session is active, void, or dead.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Jane sometimes lapses into this, especially the Jane from Calliope's timeline. It turns out that she isn't dead or from Calliope's timeline, but is instead asleep in the real world. It seems that her speech tendencies seem to be the lingering habits of the Condesce's control, or that she's talking like that for the purpose of her trollsona.
  • Skepticism Failure: She doesn't believe Roxy's claims of being 4 centuries into the future and living in a Crapsack World, or that Sburb is as dangerous as Roxy and Dirk claim it is. Though when things get serious, she lets her skepticism go.
  • Skeptic No Longer: She starts trusting Calliope and Roxy at their word shortly before starting the game.
  • Slapstick Knows No Gender: Suffers more comedic violence than Rose or Jade, including mail-bombings and exploding computers.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: She's the only one of her session who uses totally perfect grammar and is occasionally prone to using long words. She's also surprisingly vulgar at times.
  • Southern Belle: She says that her grandfather was one of the "great southern comedians", and her text implies a southern dialect.
  • Stepford Smiler: Her Trickster Mode is a first. In the flash sequence that the form debuts in, it initially looks like she's in pain, though the subsequent A6A5A2 intro flash shows that she is legitimately having a blast. Nevertheless, she goes to LOMAX in A6A5A2, and the one reason she would go there suggests that she is, in fact, a Type C.
  • The Stoic: Jane's personality after becoming Crockertier.
    JANE: Having recently been crowned a supreme being of pure logic, my tolerance for your (Jake's) antiquated horseshit has fallen to nil.
    [Much nervous prattling by Jake]
    JANE: Argh!
    JANE: Jake, now you have done it.
    JANE: You have made me exclaim in frustration audibly.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: She heavily resembles Jade (genetically her daughter) both in appearance and personality, though she tends toward despair rather than rage when sufficiently antagonized. In terms of personality, she takes more after John, particularly in her love of movies, "disguises", and practical jokes, along with being insufferably happy and determined.
  • Suddenly Ethnicity: During Trickster Mode. It ended up instigating so much hostility in the fandom that Hussie later changed it from "caucasian" to "peachy".
  • Supreme Chef: Her Spoonkind Abstrabus contains hundreds of baking recipes, a few of which she's implied to have made herself. Justified; she is Betty Crocker's heir.
  • Swiss Army Weapon: It can change back and forth from SPOONKIND to FORKKIND at the touch of a button.
  • Symbol Swearing: Uses "&%#$@!!!" as a swear towards a drunken Roxy.
  • Tastes Like Diabetes: Deliberately invoked with her Trickster Mode, which, among other things, turns Horrorterrors into Squiddles.
    • Various people in Something Awful's MSPA thread: "She went so grimdark she became jollybright!"
  • The Team Normal: She's a normal girl living in a suburban household. Aside from being heiress to a massive company, she's completely average.
  • They Changed It, Now It Sucks!: Jane is quite the brand loyalist; she immediately thinks the FORKKIND abstratus is inferior to the SPOONKIND and loves the fictional Problem Sleuth sequel for its dedication to the formula.
    • This extends to her personal relationships as well: Jane actively lies about her feelings for Jake in fear of change, doesn't call out Roxy for her alcoholism despite it being a clear problem, and refuses to discuss her pursuit of Jake with Dirk before the Trickster incident forces it out.
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: In Crockertier Mode, at least until she freaks out when Gamzee glomps her.
  • Together in Death: With Jake in [S] GAME OVER, both skewered on the same sword.
  • Took a Level in Badass: While Jane was always pretty capable, she's a full Dark Action Girl in Crockertier Mode.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: While Jade is still polite when Grimbark, Crockertier Jane dispenses with any pleasantries by being ruthless in any way possible, as well as letting people know exactly what she thinks of them.
    • Even before going Crockertier, Jane had a rather short fuse and a tendency to lash out at her friends, so all going Crockertier does is make her less inhibited.
  • Tranquil Fury: In Crockertier Mode, she's more prone to violence, but less able to express her emotions, which leads to this trope.
  • Trickster Archetype: Though like John, she freely admits she's awful at pranks.
  • True Blue Femininity: Her sigil and text color are a bright shade of cyan.
  • Twitchy Eye: During a conversation between her and Jake, where Jake is telling her about his relationship problems with Dirk, she gets increasingly more and more annoyed, to the point of having her eye twitching. And then she snapped.
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: She used to be pretty forgiving and friendly of her friends. However, following the events of her 16th birthday, she became increasingly bitter and impatient. Being mind controlled doesn't help.
  • Uncanny Valley Girl: Trickster Mode, obviously.
  • Uncle Pennybags: Her introduction says that she is very generous with her Boondollars, which she naturally has millions of. In the Post-Scratch Universe, Boondollars were introduced as a form of cyber-currency, though their use was generally very limited. Being the heir to the company that introduced them, she is in no need of them. This was presumably how Roxy affords her Crockercorp appearifier, and Jake his various equipment.
  • Understatement: When she dies and wakes up in a Dreambubble with Jade and Calliborn (until it was revealed that she was merely sleeping), she seems somewhat stoic to the fact that she had been completely brainwashed by an alien queen bent on the enslavement of humanity.
  • The Unfettered: At first. She's very excited to play Sburb to bring her grandfather back to life, despite the constant dangers Roxy and Dirk warn her of. She never actually does bring her grandfather back - well, for now - but it doesn't stop her optimism.
  • The Fettered: What she turns into.
  • Unstoppable Rage: When she gets mad at Jake, she stomps her headset into the ground out of rage.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: With Roxy.
    "TT: Only she could manage to blow up your computer with a nasty deathloop virus and somehow make YOU be the one to feel shitty about it."
    "GG: Heh!"
    "GG: You're right."
  • Walking Wasteland: Inverted, at least in Trickster Mode, as shown in Jane: Blast Off.
  • Weak-Willed: She's been subtly brainwashed by the Batterwitch her whole life, partially by her Brain–Computer Interface tiara. So when it gets slapped back on her at the end of Act 6 Act 5 and turned on for real, she ends up one of the Condesce's pawns in a matter of seconds.
  • Weirdness Censor: She's become oblivious to the Condesce's influence over Earth due to being desensitized to it by constantly being bombarded with it.
  • Wholesome Crossdresser: Her "disguises".
  • Manchild: Then narration briefly mentions she and her dad resolving fights by outpranking each other and dressing up in silly disguises, along with having mature discussions and talking.
  • Woman Scorned: After Jake tries to finish her confession to him, she flips a table over in rage. In Crockertier Mode, she forces him to become her Sex Slave, and thinks he should be lucky to be left alive.
  • Worth It: She watches Terezi and Gamzee fight for several minutes because she finds it amusing, only to find that in the time she's wasted observing them that Jack Noir and PM have arrived at Jade's corpse to attempt to revive her.
  • Worthless Yellow Rocks: Jane starts with a fortune in Boondollars, a fetch modus that tells alchemy recipes, and a device that can render objects back into their component grist, but has no clue just how valuable all of these things are before the game starts. Justified because outside of Sburb, they genuinely are useless.
  • Yandere: Crockertier Jane got into a fight with Rose over her "beloved bbfsy" Roxy in the retconned timeline when the meteor kids were rescuing Jake and Roxy. She attempts to stab her with her fork, only for Roxy to intervene and take the hit instead, resulting in her heroic death. Jane is knocked out by Vriska before she can attempt to revive her.
  • You Are Grounded: Her punishment after getting caught outside the house staring into the sky too long. You might say she's stuck at home. It might also have had something to do with the assassination attempts on her...
    • Grounded even more firmly by being blocked in her room by bathtub after she slips out and nearly get assassinated again by a mail bomb.


Roxy Lalonde

Paradox Space Appearances: "Con Faire" | "Secret Sufferer"

God DAMN do you love WIZARDS.

You wish and hope they are REAL, and that so too is their MAJYYKS AND STUFF. You enjoy writing FANPROSE FOR SAID MAGICAL MEN, but you think maybe it's NOT SO GREAT. You are however QUITE GREAT at the esoteric sciences, such as ECTOBIOLOGY, DARK FENESTROLOGY, and the delicate art of APPEARIFICATION. You have tended to accrue dead preserved SPECIMENS from your experiments, little to none of which AREN'T FELINE.

The post-Scratch iteration of Mom Lalonde, and Rose's post-Scratch counterpart. She's a perpetually-drunk, upbeat, flirty, paranoid genius.

Her chumhandle is tipsyGnostalgic. She is the Rogue of Void of the Post-Scratch Human Session.


she types with no punctuation except for EMPHASIS or to make a point???
swears all the goddamn time and uses netspeak like lmao a lot
makes a lot of typosp when durnk and sometimes uses * to correct hreslef
* herself

  • Action Survivor: She's not much of a fighter compared to most of the other kids, but manages to handle herself well enough through guile and determination. After finally getting a handle on her Void powers, she graduates properly to Action Girl.
  • The Alcoholic: Played for laughs and she's quite a bit underage, though it's implied later that she does it in part to try and deal with living in an After the End wasteland.
  • All-Loving Hero: She rounds up her neighboring carapacians because they're afraid and not sure what to do. Dirk's AR calls her out on this.
  • Ambiguously Bi: She expresses attraction to many guys. She also becomes very close with Calliope, has an ambiguous offscreen moment of affection with her, and is seen holding hands with her on the new Earth in Act 7.
  • Angrish: When she accidentally kills Jasper with Jane's book, she starts filling their pesterlog with incomprehensible nonsense with sad emoticons and constantly logs back in and out. Jane chalks it up to her being stressed, and plays Sburb with Dirk instead.
  • Anything That Moves: Roxy has expressed attraction to many of the people around her.
    • Has expressed attraction to Dirk, despite knowing about his Incompatible Orientation.
    • Roxy has some attraction to Jake, although unlike Jane and Dirk she's content not to act on it.
    • She remarks on how hot Jane's Dad is, a callback to the relationship her Guardian incarnation had with him.
    • She also starts considering John as boyfriend material as soon as they meet.
    • While she only got on the topic through a tangent, Roxy has actually devoted some thought to the possibility of sex or romance with a carapacian, though she came to the conclusion that it would never work out.
  • Author Avatar: Somewhat, especially after Dirk falls Out of Focus.
  • Badass Bookworm: She loves her mother's books, Complacency of The Learned, which were written using the subconscious memories of her B1 life.
  • Badass in Distress: Was temporarily imprisoned in the jail in Derse during Act 6 Act 5.
    • She is imprisoned once again in Act 6 Act 6, alongside Distressed Dude Jake, when menaced by a mind-controlled Jade and Jane.
  • Bad Powers, Good People: Not unlike Rose, her powers draw from and are themed around the Void, realm of the eldritch Horrorterrors. While she has some morally questionable moments, Roxy is generally a very good-natured person and mainly uses her powers for helpful, constructive uses. She even manages to create a new Matriorb to repopulate the Troll race after enough attempts.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Like her pre-Scratch Counterpart, she's got a few screws loose and questionable scientific methods, but when the situation calls for it, she's Badass almighty.
  • Break the Cutie: She spends most of her arc looking for Rose, who she sees in a dream. She eventually finds her and Rose dies soon after. She doesn't take it well at all. Though, luckily, after John retcons the timeline, she gets the chance to meet and spend time with Rose properly.
  • Call-Back: She says that she would like to hold a funeral for Frigglish to honor his memory. Half a century ago, she did.
  • The Cassandra: Dirk is amazed by the fact that Roxy hasn't told Jane or Jake about their current situation. It turns out that she has, but Jane didn't believe her.
  • Cassandra Truth: Knows more about Betty Crocker's true identity and schemes than any other character seen so far (except for perhaps Nanna), but Jane doesn't trust her on virtually anything, causing a major source of angst.
    • On the other hand, she doesn't want any "pity believins". She's a scientist and she wants to prove that she's right about this. Her failure to do this with her appearifier early on with Jane was part of what led to Jane treating her skeptically.
    • She also expresses frustration at the fact that Jane doesn't believe that her mother is dead.
  • Cat Smile: Both on her shirt and used in text on occasion.
  • Character Development: In the 6 months she spends in the Medium, she overcomes her drinking problem and admits to wanting another form of escapism from her friends' drama (which she refuses to be a part of), which is why her Trickster Mode personality immediately goes back home and starts drinking heavily. Dirk says that because of this, she's emotionally the strongest out of the four.
    • Through her interactions with John and going through the events of [S]GAME OVER and everything afterwards, she gains a level in badass by mastering her Rogue of Void powers and and growing into the Tritagonist of the post-Scratch kids.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: We finally know who the girl was that Jaspers spent the rest of his life with after having been taken from Rose.
    • To an even greater extent, Mom Lalonde's odd bedroom in the Skaianet lab proved to be largely relevant to Roxy, making her presence alluded to since Act 3.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: The only thing stopping her from hitting on Jake is that Jane has a thing for him. She has a much harder time staying away from Dirk and respecting his boundaries, though.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Oh so much. It's a parallel to how she and Jade were raised by non-humans, and are thus seen as weird and somewhat dumb by their friends, though neither are. It's also a parallel to her and her son, Dave, who both have a habit of going on long tangents about nothing and their odd senses of humor.
  • The Cloudcuckoolander Was Right: She turns out to be right about how playing Sburb will lead her session right into the Condesce's hands.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Constantly.
  • Collector of the Strange: Like her son, she keeps dead animals encased in ice in her room.
  • Crazy Cat Lady: Downplayed. She has a huge collection of mutant cats in her lab that she loves dearly, but it's accidental and not a sign of mental illness or social ineptitude.
  • Damsel out of Distress: Twice. She escapes from the Derse jail during the mayhem and saves Rose from the Condesce after being put to sleep by Aranea.
  • Death Seeker: After [S] GAME OVER, she tells John that they're obviously in a doomed timeline, and that they should just die so that they can be with their loved ones. He snaps her out of it, though.
  • Despair Event Horizon: After Rose bleeds out right in front of her and dies a Heroic death, Roxy breaks down crying.
  • Deuteragonist: Despite Jane being set up as the Tritagonist, Roxy is slowly growing into this position. She had been the unknowing leader of their session all along according to Dirk and has gotten more involved in the overarching plot of late.
  • Disappointed in You: She's afraid this is how Dirk will feel after she falls off the wagon as a trickster. However, because she was the one who kept their session from falling apart, his actual feelings are quite the opposite.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: While John is recapping the first six acts of Homestuck, she's too busy thinking about how good a boyfriend he would be to comprehend what he's saying as anything other than "bla bla."
  • Domino Mask: Sports one after going God Tier. She later ties it around a sword where Rose is buried on LOWAS.
  • Dramatic Irony: Her love of wizards reveals that in the B1 Universe, she wasn't using wizards to belittle her daughter but to bond with her, which sheds a lot of light on Rose's stubborn and confrontational personality.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Despite effectively babysitting her entire group for their session, she gets little thanks. According to Dirk, this is often a fate that befalls many Void players, and that she's the true leader of the session, even if she never realized it.
  • Dudley Do-Right Stops to Help: When the Red Miles are ravaging future Earth, her entire city is on fire, there are Crockerdrones everywhere, and Jane is waiting to send Roxy into Sburb and (relative) safety, what does Roxy do? Does she run straight back to her house, or does she stop to save every Carapician she can see? (If you guessed based on the trope title, that's cheating.)
  • Dumb Blonde: Subverted. She seems ditzy, but only because she's a bit of a Cloudcuckoolander and partial to alcohol, though she's actually a genius scientist. She also turns out to be one of the more competent players in her session, saving Rose from the Condesce's psionic attack and trying to hide from her Trickster Mode friends.
  • Expendable Clone: The Roxy that never saw the events of [S] Game Over and saved Rose from death was accidentally killed by brainwashed Jane, though she didn't have a chance to revive her before being put to sleep by Vriska. The Roxy that saw [S] Game Over and John, now unstuck in reality, are then re-transplanted back into the timeline, meaning that while they both died, they have effectively been replaced with alternate versions of themselves.
  • Expressive Shirt: Her cat symbol shirt. It also changes its expression when she's pestering someone.
  • Extraverted Nerd: She has a knack for computers and human-era literature.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Her title, the Rogue of Void, allows her to invoke this.
  • Friendly Sniper: She combines her Ray Gun with her hand-appearifier. This gives her a massive rifle with a scope that both moves objects around and is a powerful weapon.
  • Gameplay and Story Segregation: She invokes this with her Denizen, Nix. As a passive class, she is more inclined to pick the passive option when given The Choice - that is, to do nothing and simply allow herself to be erased from existence. She decides not to, however, and goes with John to the altered timeline in which they both died.
  • Gamer Chick:
  • Genius Ditz: Correctly guesses that playing Sburb will put them right into the Condesce's hands, for starters. It's also implied that a Rogue is a complicated and annoying class to work with due to the non-literal nature of the Aspects (ie, the Rogue of Breath would steal direction, though how that direction would manifest is ambiguous), not helped by its Aspect, Void, though she utilizes it incredibly well.
  • Genre Savvy: Correctly guesses that her and her friends playing Sburb would simply be playing right into the Condesce's hands, and suggests to Dirk that it would be better if they just didn't play it at all. She also sends a fake version of the game to Jane to try and scare her out of playing the game.
  • Giftedly Bad: She doesn't think that the fanfic she writes after her mother's work is all that good. It really isn't.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: Like fellow Void player Equius, she's a FISTKIND user, though she doesn't get nearly as much mileage out of it as he does. It makes its first appearance when she escapes Meenah via a GHOSTPUNCH right to the kisser.
  • Gratuitous French: As a deliberate Shout-Out to the "le" meme, she peppers her speech with French.
  • Gratuitous Spanish: And when she's serious, Spanish.
  • Hahaha No: When Jake asks her to apologize to Dirk through Jane who he is also apologizing to.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: She's selfless enough to start with, and she only gets nicer after her Character Development.
  • Handsome Lech: A rare female example. John, Dave, and Jake all think that she's pretty, and she hits on just about everything.
  • Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Even though she's not even 16 in the first three acts.
  • Head-Turning Beauty: Dave and John both responded positively to seeing her in dreambubbles. Dave's reaction to finding out she was his mother wasn't kind.
  • The Heart: Ironically, Dirk (a Hero of Heart) considers her (a Hero of Void,fittingly, leading a void session) the only thing keeping their session's players together, effectively swapping their roles.
  • Heroic BSoD: Her reaction to the events of [S]: GAME OVER and its aftermath (which included the deaths of all of her friends and her mother/daughter Rose) basically amounts to sitting on the sands of her planet and waiting for the non-existence that all doomed timelines are destined for to claim her like it did Dirk. It's only after a mortally-wounded and royally-pissed Terezi swoops in that she snaps out of it.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: In the newly-retconned timeline where Vriska never died, the meteor group (Dave, Rose, Karkat, Kanaya, Terezi, and Vriska) reached Derse and hatched a jailbreak plot for Roxy and Jake. Coming across Crocker Tier Jane, she tries to kill Rose, only for the post-retcon Roxy who was in jail to take the hit and die in her place. Pre-retcon Roxy, teleported to the session by John, then replaces her.
  • Hope Spot: She and Rose are finally reunited after meeting each other twice in Dreambubbles, but never having a full conversation. Rose dies just moments after, triggering Roxy's Despair Event Horizon, though thankfully John snaps her out of this.
  • Hormone-Addled Teenager: She hits on everyone and everything.
  • Hot Scientist: When she finds herself in her pre-Scratch self's clothing, the first thing she says is that she thinks the outfit's a sexy scientist suit.
  • How Do I Shot Web?: At least at first, she has no idea how to use her God Tier powers for anything but summoning perfectly generic objects and pumpkins.
  • Hyperspace Is a Scary Place: ...The space in between her Fenestrated actually The Furthest Ring. This leads to a surreal moment where an awake Roxy passes her sleepwalking Dream Self. And then it turns out this was foreshadowed as early as Act 2.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    TG: prensent tense
    TG: grammar jane
    • "i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass"
  • Immune to Fate: Roxy may be able to miraculously survive what is effectively the meltdown of her entire universe by using her Void powers... but she chooses just to hitch a ride with John's planet to a new timeline.
  • Improbable Weapon User: During the End of Act 6, Roxy weaponizes Perfectly Generic Objects, pumpkins and wizard statues in the battle against the Batterwitch. She wins.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Roxy has a crush on Dirk, but it was doomed to never go anywhere because he's gay. Dirk confides to Jane that he's aware of this and wishes he could give Roxy what she wants but cannot bring himself to lie to her.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink
    TG: i think
    TG: i could use a drink
  • Innocently Insensitive: Her attempts at calming Jane down during her birthday party.
  • Intangible Theft: As a Rogue of Void she can steal and redistribute the essence of nothingness. This translates into conjuring potentially anything by stealing the fact it doesn't presently exist and performing a pseudo form of teleportation by making something non-existant and then having it exist elsewhere.
  • Invisibility: Courtesy of a Ring of Power from Courtyard Droll. Later, after hitting God Tier, she can do it even without the ring, though Aranea can see right through it, presumably due to being a Light player.
  • Irony:
    • Is extremely suspicious of Betty Crocker, yet has almost exactly the same hairdo.
    • As a scientist it is her duty to find and organize knowledge. As a Hero of Void she is capable of not only hiding it, but destroying it as well.
  • Jive Turkey: Oh so much. Leet Lingo abound.
  • Kicking Ass in All Her Finery: As of Act 6 Act 4, and combined with Zettai Ryouiki (which, based on the apparent dress length, is of Grade B).
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: "D'aw who are you kidding. You can't stay mad at cats."
    Why did you have to clone so many cats? Why did they all have to breed so much? Why do they all have to be so friendly???
    • Promptly subverted when she encounters a group of Carapacians in her lab hunting her cats. She doesn't begrudge them at all for it.
  • The Knights Who Say "Squee!": She really loves wizards. Really.
  • Lady Swears-a-Lot: She can't go a single dialogue box without swearing once. Most of her conversations with Aranea are composed of calling her a bitch and antagonizing her.
  • The Leader: Dirk considers her this due to being the Only Sane Man and only real competent player of their session. Considering that her co-players are too busy hating themselves and having teenage romance issues, he's not wrong.
  • Leet Lingo: Uses the most out of anyone in the comic.
  • Leitmotif: "Even in Death", though it becomes her session's overall motif.
  • Lesser of Two Evils: When her friends go Trickster Mode, she directly contacts Her Imperious Condescension and begs her to throw her back in jail. The Condesce logs da fuck out.
  • Lethal Harmless Powers: Inverted. Void is normally a very confusing and powerful Aspect relating closely to the user's personality, though Roxy's class, Rogue, renders it non-lethal. Specifically invoked to show that no class is inherently stronger or weaker than another, as Roxy's power is incredibly powerful, to Reality Warper levels.
  • Living Emotional Crutch: For Jane and Dirk. Jake's mostly too optimistic (and oblivious) to need one.
  • Lovable Coward: She knows when she's beaten and is very reluctant to play Sburb (though for the right reasons).
  • Loveable Rogue: And she essentially describes the trope when talking to Calliope about the difference between the Rogue and Thief classes. She demonstrated this the most when she stole pumpkins to feed the Carapacians.
    TG: so basically
    TG: a thief is like the asshole class
    TG: the player who says step off shits mine suckas
    TG: whereas
    TG: a rogue
    TG: is bascially robin hood
  • Mad Scientist: Her idea of testing portals is to throw mutant cats in them.
  • Magic Kiss: How she converts Dirk to Trickster Mode.
    • Subverted in that it only partially works.
  • Magikarp Power: At first, she's only able to steal the nothingness of perfectly generic objects: green cubes. Eventually, she amazes herself when she learns how powerful she truly is.
  • Mama Bear: Saves Rose from being obliterated by the Condesce's psionic beams in [S] GAME OVER. Although it turned out to be for naught.
  • Meaningful Name: Her chumhandle — a combination of the words "Gnostic" and "nostalgia" — is named after an actual company that sells absinthe.
    • Not to mention someone from the far future communicating with the past being nostalgic about it.
  • Metaphorgotten: A trait she shares with her son, Dave.
    ROXY: just maybe try not to hold whatever dumb shit he said against him forever?
    ROXY: thats just how the guy is
    ROXY: its like
    ROXY: he doesnt mean to be a douche
    ROXY: but its just kind of a byproduct of the whole ridiculous jake english experience
    ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?
    ROXY: like douche substitute
    ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"
    ROXY: um
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Once Jane comes to her hat in hand about how she should've always trusted her, Roxy feels quite like a jerk for sending a copy of Sburb rigged to blow. Unfortunately, she doesn't get a chance to disarm it before Jane sets it off anyway.
  • Mythology Gag: Roxy gets attacked as soon as she ends up on the other side of an unpowered window, which was a constant threat in their original appearance in Problem Sleuth.
  • Nerds Are Sexy: Over her time as a character, she's had a few male admirers, most notably John.
  • Nice Girl: Played with. She's usually nice, but almost kills Jane by making her computer explode, and her plans almost always do more harm than good—though they are generally well-intentioned.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Like her son, she's got a few signs of this. She keeps dead cats in her room, and likes the carapacians - hulking non-humans who break into her house to steal food.
  • Odd Name Out: Roxy is the only two syllable first name amongst all of the human Kids.
  • Of Corpse He's Alive: When speaking to Jane she talks as though her mother was still alive. This is because in Jane and Jake's time, she is.
  • Off the Wagon: Her sobriety is temporarily reversed when she goes into Trickster Mode.
  • Old Shame: In-Universe, she considers her entire life before Sburb to be this, her borderline harassment of Dirk being the worst of it.
  • Omnidisciplinary Scientist: She's a competent hacker, ectobiologist, and esoteric physicist. She's also at least a fair roboticist.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Before her real name was revealed she was called by a variety of nicknames. Dirk calls her RL. Jane calls her Ro-Lal.
  • Only Sane Man: She seems to be the only one not caught up in her friends' drama and is trying to get things together in preparation for an upcoming battle.
    • And during the Trickster Mode madness, she quickly realizes that her friends have gone insane and promptly starts running the fuck away from them while using her Void powers to hide, even begging the Condesce to throw her back in jail to get away from them.
    • It gets Subverted and smashed like the pumpkin that made it so when she is also converted into a Trickster.
  • Out of Focus: As a Void player, she occasionally falls victim to this, especially in regards to her struggle with sobriety and relationship with Fefeta. TexTalks goes in depth into this. Her warnings also go unnoticed when chatting up Jake and turned down by Jane.
  • Pink Means Feminine: The pink cat Mutini on her shirt. All of her game systems are painted pink too, and all her plush wizards are pink.
  • Pining After Protagonist's Parent: Gender-flipped, as she has a crush on Jane's Dad. This is most likely due to the fact that she and Dad were lovers in the pre-Scratch universe.
  • Playful Hacker: Stole her copy of Sburb from Crockercorp servers and brags to Jane about it, if somewhat facetiously by way of exaggerating, invoking Hollywood Hacking and acknowledging it. She then admits that the game wasn't really encrypted or protected at all, so it was less "hacking" and more "downloading".
    • Though Roxy is good enough at coding ~ATH to blow up people's computers... though that's also what the programming language is best at.
  • Plucky Girl: Even after everything her co-players and her went through, she's still got a smile on her face. Not even burying her recently deceased daughter brings her down, though it causes her to have a few suicidal thoughts. John snaps her out of it.
  • Portal Door: Her black fenestrated planes act as two-way portals; when she goes through one plane she comes out at another one set up in her house.
  • Power Limiter: For unknown reasons, alcohol seems to inhibit her Void powers, which Calliope points out after her turn to sobriety following starting Sburb is unusually coincidental with the blackout that prevents the cherubs' direct surveillance on the session.
  • Power of the Void: Rare heroic example, as the Rogue of Void. All Void heroes seem to have Psychic Block Defense against scrying, and she also has the power to conjure up objects by stealing the essence of nothingness from them.
  • Properly Paranoid: Her friends dismiss her as a raving, paranoid alcoholic. She turns out to be right about everything she says if they play Sburb.
  • Proper Tights with a Skirt: To show that she's more feminine than Jane, at least in terms of appearance. It's also part of the Rogues' God Tier outfit, combined with Zettai Ryouiki.
  • Precocious Crush: Toward Jane's Dad. But we all know why that is...
  • Raised by Wolves: Or rather by Carapacians, which in large part helps explain her whimsical nature.
  • Ray Gun:
    • Her preferred weapon for use with her RIFLEKIND ABSTRACTUS. Well, a ray rifle actually.
    • Her appearifier also looks like a ray gun pistol.
  • Reality Warper: Her Void powers allow her to steal nothingness. This seems like a pretty weak skill, but it turns out she can also steal the concept of nothingness, essentially conjuring an object out of thin air by stealing that object's non-existence.
  • Refusal of the Call: She's reluctant to play Sburb at first because she worries that it's part of the Batterwitch's scheme. She turns out to be right, but she plays it anyway to escape the fire burning her house down.
  • Reincarnation Romance: A complex example. In the Beta timeline, Roxy was Mom Lalonde and fell in love with Dad Egbert. In the Alpha timeline, Roxy is infatuated with Dad Crocker, but she's a teenager and he's an adult, so she can't act on it and he doesn't know about it.
  • Replacement Scrappy: In-Universe, Jaspers saw her as this. Not helped by the fact that he was crushed to death under her care.
  • Sad Clown: She is a very upbeat person but she is utterly sick of being The Cassandra for Jane and Dirk has hinted she's hiding a lot of issues.
  • Sanity Ball: The firmest grasp on it.
  • Scarf of Asskicking: Like the Mom Lalonde of the Pre-Scratch session.
  • Sci-Fi Bob Haircut: The way her hair is canonically drawn is similar to one of the many ways to style a 60s bobcut [1]. This is even more apparent with her interest in science and her Pre-Scratch self's scientist outfit that looks like a very 1960s dress. To compare, [2] here's an actual 60s dress and here's [3] Roxy wearing her "sexy scientist outfit".
  • Self-Deprecation: She considers herself a terrible scientist, using her creations only for her self use and spending most of her time drinking and writing terrible stories that rip off her mother's material. She turns out to be a Teen Genius, more so than her co-players, but she still thinks she's no good at her job.
  • Ship Tease: With everyone, especially Jane and Dirk. The second ship got sunk, however, when Word of Gay outed him as Straight Gay.
    • As of the series' ending, she seems most attracted to John, and starts sizing him up as boyfriend material as soon as they meet.
      Probably totes eligible
      Mental note: mack on.
  • Sleepwalking: Her dream self keeps wandering off in Derse, seeking out the void. At one point, it actually passes by Roxy's real self as she's going through a fenestrated plane. Dirk mentions that this is good for keeping her out of trouble now that the Agents have been preemptively killing the Kids' Dreamselves, but also annoying because he has to constantly go and find her.
  • Small Girl, Big Gun: Though she seems to prefer hand-to-hand combat if possible. Most of the time, she'll go for her gun.
  • The Smart Guy: Although her scientific knowledge isn't all that useful due to the fact that she's perpetually drunk. She fits the mold better as time passes, however.
  • So Bad, It's Good: In-Universe she considers a portrait of a wizard to be genius in a terrible way. Also Invoked with Wizardy Herbert, her fiction she writes after her mother's footsteps (already implied to be inaccessible and narmy in-universe).
  • So Proud of You: Dirk is extremely proud of her and asks Jane to tell her that before both planets are destroyed by the Condesce and Jack.
    TT: Tell her that I'm proud of her.
    TT: And as a person she's everything I wish I could be.
    TT: I wish I could be as nice and loving and selfless as her.
    TT: But can't.
  • Sole Survivor: Apart from the Condesce, she was the only person involved in GAME OVER that escaped alive, let alone unscathed. She's also the only one of her session left alive, with Dirk allowing himself to be consumed by the glitches in his session. Though John fixes that.
  • Socially Awkward Hero: Justified, as she lacks Dirk's general wit and grew up with almost no human contact.
  • Stacy's Mom: A literal version, as well as parodied. Rose is set-up as John's love interest in Act 5, though she gets her own female love interest in the form of Kanaya, while Roxy become's John's.
    • She also likes Mr. Crocker, Jane's dad.. A lot.
  • Stealth Expert: After she ascends to God Tier. This is a feature in both Rogues and Void players, though it doesn't seem to work on Aranea due to her being a Light player.
  • Stepford Smiler: Type 1. Outwardly confident and full of self-aggrandizing bluster, but when the façade cracks (which tends to happen when she's stressed or alone with her thoughts), Roxy's really a scared teenager who's carrying a lot of doubts and self-hatred, and angsts over the fact that her best friend, Jane, refuses to believe even basic facts about her life. More than anything else, this is the trait that she and Dave share.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: With Dave, in terms of personality and appearance, though Rose looks like her too but inherits very little of her personality. In-Universe, she also sees B1 Rose talking to Jaspers just before Roxy appearifies him, and she also sees a girl she assumes to be her daughter in her alcohol-fueled dreams - also B1 Rose, though from the timeline pre-Scratch. She makes the connection that the girl she sees in her dreams is her daughter because she looks like her mother - she actually is her "mother", but several years older.
  • Stylistic Suck: "Wizardy Herbert", her wizardfic she wrote in the footsteps of her mother's own series of books, Complacency of The Learned. We do eventually get to see it, along with her own illustrations.
  • Super Strength: Possibly. She managed to break free of a strangle hold by a magenta-blooded ghost troll and then jumped several times her own height to an active window above her, though this was in a dreambubble, so normal physics might not apply. All FISTKIND wielders we've seen so far have demonstrated this trope, including her B1 counterpart, who punched out a giant.
  • Support Party Member: Out of the eight kids, she is the only one whose Mythological Role offers no obvious offensive capabilities. Even John and Rose have some in the form of magic despite also having primarily supportive classes (Heir and Seer respectively, they the former is granted offensive magic by their Aspect, Breath). That being said, in the final battle with the Condesce, she is able to weaponize her powers and use them offensively.
  • Team Mom: Shared this role with Jane before she Took a Level in Jerkass. It seems like Roxy is naturally motherly, as evidenced in [S] Roxy: Sleepwalk and the ensuing conversation with Dirk, in which she enthuses about how Rose is obviously her daughter and how she is destined to meet her.
  • Teleport Gun: Roxy has alchemized a portal-window jumping system as of Act 6 Act 4.
  • Terrible Artist: Her illustrations for Wizardy Herbert are, as with nearly all in-universe illustrations, fairly laughable.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Many. She starts out reluctant to play Sburb because she worries that it'll lead her right into the Condesce's hands. While she turns out to be right, that doesn't stop her from being the only one in her group who takes things seriously, and her ascension to God Tier basically made her a reality warping Lovable Rogue.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Again, she's 15/16 and drinks. Regularly. And as Jane points out, during the day. Justified by living After the End and being raised by non-humans to boot.
  • The Unreveal: Parodied - the narration builds up to revealing her first name, only to show that the last two letters are blocked by a cat's tail. The next update properly reveals her first name.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: With Jane.
  • Weapon for Intimidation: The real purpose of that rifle Roxy carries around, which she rarely if ever fires. She tends to rely on martial arts and her Void powers more often than not when pressed into a real fight.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: She doesn't plan her moves very much, and when she does, things quickly go badly. She means well, though.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: She purposely sends Jane a bogus copy of Sburb that will explode her computer when run, just to make Jane believe her about the Batterwitch. When Jane and Dirk realize this, they discuss the extremeness of her actions.


Dirk Strider

Paradox Space Appearances: "Ace Sleuth Jane" | "Antiquated Japesterism" | "Secret Sufferer"

Holy SHIT do you love PUPPETS.

"If you weren't so DAMN ALOOF and actually let people GET A LOAD, you might get described all kindsa ways. Maybe tagged as a RENAISSANCE NINJA, PHILOSOPHER PRINCE, and FLASHSTEP PUPPETEER. Or perhaps a PANTHEONIC IRONICIST, GANGSTA LOGICIAN, LUCID WAKER and DERSITE SPY. Screw descriptors though, as if the shits you give ain't nil. You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?

The post-Scratch iteration of Bro Strider, and Dave's post-Scratch counterpart. He is a stoic and intelligent Polymath who looks out for his friends and builds robots...which then he proceeds to demolish in death matches. He also loves puppets and horses.

His chumhandle is timaeusTestified. He is the Prince of Heart of the Post-Scratch Human Session.

His STRIFE PORTFOLIO contains SPECIBI for BLADEKIND, which he considers his main SPECIBUS, and two Joke Weapons; PUPPETKIND, and FNCYSNTAKINDnote . His fetch modus is TECH-HOP, a Mythology Gag to And It Don't Stop. It's fairly complicated but is the best modus for hashrap enthusiasts.

Speaks with proper grammar, capitalization, and punctuation,
Except for when he breaks a sentence into two lines.
Is prone to very verbose and formal remarks, including sarcasm and extended metaphors.
Doesn't use emoticons. Sometimes uses Bro puns, such as Brobot or Brocurement.

  • Androids Are People, Too: Despite his frequent misgivings with his Auto Responder, he considers him a fully sentient being that deserves the right to express himself as often as possible.
  • Anguished Declaration of Love: Subverted. He's had a long-unspoken crush on Jake, but, rather than declare his affections himself, he manipulates Jake into making the first move to save his life.
    • He even lampshaded this trope and how weak he thought it was.
      • Which is called back to when Jake finally kisses him/his severed head: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.
  • Animal Motifs: Gulls to correspond to Dave's crows. The brighter portion of his symbol is a stylized gull as well.
    • He also seems to be frequently associated with horses.
  • Anime Hair: Shaped like a bird, similarly to Dave's.
  • Assassin Outclassin': Hegemonic Brute was required to take out Dirk. He didn't stand a chance.
  • Author Avatar: To a greater extent than Dave, but still not a 1:1 copy of Hussie. Dirk, however, more closely resembles Hussie as he is now, which is to say that he's a lot less prone to ironic gestures, though he still enjoys them.
  • Badass Boast: Addressed to the government of Derse and received by the Draconian Dignitary:
    The Prince is awake.
    Your shit is wrecked.
  • Bad Powers, Good People: Lampshaded. Dirk's reaction to finding out that his Sburb role could be translated to Destroyer of Souls is that it sounds cool, but he's not sure it's useful for anyone but a "cartoonishly villainous sorcerer."
  • Battle Couple: With Jake as of Act 6 Act 4.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: They seem to run in the family.
  • Broken Ace: He's the most martially-gifted of any of the shown players, incredibly intelligent, witty to a fault, and almost as full of self-loathing as Karkat.
  • Call-Back: Has a striking tendency to use phrases oft repeated throughout the story and occasionally comments when others do it too, meaning it may well tie into his abilities as the Prince of Heart.
    • There's already been one character who types in orange with the initials DS.
    • He's got a lot of copies of himself and alternate versions around, like Dave.
    • The ability to have your Dreamself run around while your real self is awake is similar to Pickle Inspector and Mobster Kingpin's Abstracted Thought Tech.
    • Nepeta and Eridan, one of the other two known Heroes of Heart and Prince respectively, both had unrequited romantic hopes. And the other known ones, Meulin and Kurloz respectively, were in a relationship (with each other) for a while before breaking up.
    • His STRONG wifebeater outfit stems from Hussie briefly considering giving him one in the preliminary design process, and his Hella Jeff tattoo seen while wearing it is based on Hussie's own Hella Jeff tattoo.
    • Dirk isn't the first character in Homestuck to build robots in order to fight them, nor is he the first one to give someone a robot as a gift as a bizarre form of courtship. He also has a wifebeater as one of his outfits, likes horses, has odd fetishes and bizarre porn, and is crushing on a tomb-raiding adventurer who died in some way before entering the game. All of these traits are shared with Equius, who quite naturally becomes one half of Dirk's sprite.
  • The Chessmaster: Subverted. Dirk talks a big talk initially about how he's going to be the puppetmaster pulling the strings of the alpha session. He does seemingly manage to pull off some pretty amazing schemes; but most of these were actually orchestrated by his superintelligent AI clone, and/or turn out to have been bad ideas in retrospect. Dirk later admits that he was never as in control of the situation as he thought he was, and that the AR was really manipulating him the entire time.
  • Control Freak: Tries to set their session up so Jane is the nominal leader but he's the one pulling the strings and is at his most comfortable when he is in control and has a sense of power over those around him (even his friends). But once he doesn't know what to do or thinks he's failed in some way...
  • Cool Mask: He wears one resembling his Rocket Board in Act 6 Act 4. He and Jake wear these masks to protect them from the seemingly toxic atmosphere of LOTAK.
  • Cool Shades: Triangle Shades, to be specific, and they don't just look cool. They're also one of his computers and house the Auto Responder. He even wears them on his gas mask.
  • Creator In-Joke: Dirk's fascination with horses is a reflection of Andrew Hussie's own facetious obsession.
  • Decapitation Presentation: After killing the Hegemonic Brute, Dirk decided to stop pretending to be asleep and announced himself to Derse by sticking HB's head on a pike in full public view with a note. (See Badass Boast above.)
  • Despair Event Horizon: In the GAME OVER timeline, he laments his failure to save anyone and completely gives up, letting himself be consumed by the glitches.
  • Did You Think I Can't Feel?: Asks this of Jake when breaking up with him.
  • Embarrassing but Empowering Outfit: Like Jake, they both have ridiculous God Tier outfits (in Dirk's case, he does have pants, but they're "poofy asshole pants"), but are as powerful as being a God would imply.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: Of Hella Jeff, just like Hussie.
  • Evil Me Scares Me: Dirk is pretty disturbed to find out about the kind of person his alt-universe self grew up to be.
  • Exact Words: Uses this to hide the fact that he was actually from hundreds of years in the future from Jake and Jane.
    GT: Yeah but come on its not like youre from a century in the future.
    TT: Well. No.
  • Flash Step: So fast it might as well be Teleport Spam.
  • Fragile Speedster: Crazy fast, but any blow to either self will knock them both out cold. While he isn't actually fragile, any noticeable hit affects him effectively twice over.
  • Genius Bruiser: One of the smartest characters and arguably the most badass one before the game starts as well.
  • Genre Savvy: He knows not to cut Aranea's arm off after she gloats to him to, sensing that it's a trap. What does he do instead? Tear her goddamn soul out of her body.
  • Grumpy Bear: As a Trickster, he's as sane as he usually is and just as mopey, if not more so.
  • Heart Beat-Down: He has an active class (Prince being the active counterpart to the Bard) and has the Heart Aspect. While it doesn't seem like it has many applications, his title translates roughly to destroyer of souls.
  • Heartbroken Badass: He doesn't take Jake's Trickster Mode well and breaks up with him on the spot, which he later regrets.
  • Hive Mind: Limited to two bodies. He's always awake on Derse and aware of his dream self's body. He just pretends to sleep because controlling two bodies at once is difficult.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Roxy has a crush on him, but while Dirk loves her like a sister, he can't reciprocate her feelings. As he points out Jane on the quest beds, Jake was the only viable love interest for all three of the other Post-Scratch kids, due to their conflicting orientations.
  • Interplay of Sex and Violence: His "courtship" of Jake consists of beating the hell out of him through a robot proxy to train him, as well as playing aggressive mind games.
  • Inventory Management Puzzle: The only Post-Scratch Kid to have a genuinely difficult FETCH MODUS. Everything in a GROOVE ROW must share a theme like puppets, orange soda, or stuff about bros. Everything in a SHADE COLUMN must rhyme. If you can't find a slot for an item that matches both (after creative renaming) you can't pick it up.
  • Irony: Obsessed with the various levels and meanings within meanings of ironic gestures, attempting to refine the concept to its highest levels. Essentially, by intense commitment to the absurd, you gain the "sincerity" of reverence to the ridiculous, which means that you "mean it" on a level that is impenetrable to non-ironic minds, a fact which itself can be mined for additional humor.
    • His mocking edit of the kids' book he gave Jane is a prime example of just how he tends to get carried away with this. Note that this is also a Creator In-Joke; Hussie has done similar edits.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Dirk can be rather blunt, cold and dismissive at times, but past that is a troubled young man who truly loves his friends and would gladly give his life for them.
  • Joke Weapon: One of his three weapons of choice are FANCY SANTAS. Nobody's sure how to damage someone with one, but if someone can figure it out it's probably him.
  • Katanas Are Just Better: The weapon of choice for a guy who has a bunch of swords.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Tries to play himself off as the most knowledgable and competent player of the Alpha Session, but ultimately he lets the team fall apart emotionally and turn into a gaggle of lollipop stoners. This is especially true with his critiques of Jane and Jake, seeing as both address these issues and end up having emotional breakdowns regardless.
  • Leitmotif: "Beatdown"
  • Lethal Joke Weapon: His use of puppets is just straight up dangerous.
  • Literal Split Personality: Between the AR, Squarewave, Sawtooth, and his dreamself, Dirk has a very fractured sense of self, which ties into his personal journey. One of Dirk's "splinters" as they're referred to in universe even turns up in Jake's subconscious.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: Happens to him through much of Act 6 Act 6, ever since Grimbark Jade punched him into the Furthest Ring. While everyone else is participating in the action involved, Dirk has to spend 3 hours flying back into the session.
    • In the GAME OVER timeline, Arquiusprite (his sprite) was the only person he know of who was available for contact, and he wasn't exactly helpful giving the information. When Arquiusprite suggests that he contacts Dave, Dirk does, but can't get any information due to the glitches in the session, and Dave couldn't tell that it was Dirk contacting him. By the time he gets back to the session, he sees everything in ruins from all the destruction caused in [S] GAME OVER.
    • In the new retconned timeline, it is not known if Dirk contacted anyone at all after being punched into the Furthest Ring. However, his arrival is expedited by Vriska, who uses a Crockercorp Rifle (the same one seen briefly in the Act 6 Act 4 flash) to teleport him to the victory platform where everyone else is, where he is brought up to speed.
  • Mad Scientist: Dirk downplays his own scientific knowledge, saying that in the future, the technology level has greatly advanced, but he still has chunks of uranium and random robots all around his apartment.
  • Manly Gay: A borderline example.
  • Manipulative Bastard: A Well-Intentioned Extremist and Downplayed example, Dirk believes he knows how everything's supposed to go, and how his friends will react to the situations they're in, and try to get them to act the way he wants for (mostly) unselfish reasons. However, he's not as good at this trope as he likes to imply, and his own emotions can screw his plans over without even realizing it.
  • Marionette Master: His puppets are weapons.
  • Matchmaker Crush: A dream splinter of him offers pointers to Jake on how to woo Aranea, but seems content to let him make a complete fool of himself in their presence.
  • Meaningful Name: The first part of his chumhandle can refer to any one of these guys. His chumhandle may also refer to the Turing Test thanks to his auto-response program which is almost indistinguishable from himself.
  • Me's a Crowd: Is the only known player yet to be able to keep his Dreamself and Realself active at the same time, though it's a bit difficult.
  • Mr. Exposition: Does this a lot.
  • MST: Gave Jane a copy of Pony Pals: Detective Pony that started with tons of penciled in snarky comments, and then progressed to in-line edits, until he finally went Off the Rails into a full replacement of the book, keeping only the chapter titles and turning into a "tough, draining read" that's "cathartic in all the worst ways."
  • Mythology Gag: His TECH-HOP modus is lifted straight from And It Don't Stop, including Grooves (themes) and Shades (rhymes). Plus Dirk battles with robots, which is where the TECH in TECH-HOP comes from in And It Don't Stop.
  • Nice Hat: He loves hats in general but doesn't want to muss his hair, so we hears an orange baseball cap as his icon on his shirts. The brighter portion of the icon is a stylized Gull. He also has some hats lying around his apartment.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Dirk is essentially responsible for creating Lord English by sealing Caliborn, Arquiusprite and half of Gamzee into Lil' Cal and sending the puppet into the Void for it to spread as a nightmare.
  • No-Sell: He's immune to the sugar rush effects of Trickster mode because of how much self-loathing he has for himself.
  • No Social Skills: Can usually hide this behind his aloof irony, but when he's not in a position of mental or physical superiority over someone else, he comes off as flustered, desperately needy, and completely oblivious to other people's feelings. Jake suggests this might be because he was raised in isolation, though he reverses himself when he realizes that he's exactly the same and turned out just dandy.
  • Not-So-Imaginary Friend: Strangely, Brain Ghost Dirk still remains behind when Jake wakes up and when Dirk's Dream Self in knocked unconscious the imaginary Dirk suddenly becomes Dream Dirk, rendering himself visible and audible to the other people in the dream bubble. He also seems to retain his memories of being imaginary Dirk.
    • When Jake has his full potential unlocked, Brain Ghost Dirk becomes tangible again and attacks Aranea until Jake's brief death.
  • Not So Stoic: He completely loses it talking to the Auto Responder later on out of self-loathing, even threatening to destroy it. Shortly afterward, he freaks out a little when trickster!Roxy starts putting the moves on him.
  • Of Corpse He's Alive: When speaking to Jane he talks as though his brother was still alive. This is because in Jane and Jake's time, he is.
  • Off with His Head!: He does this to the Hegemonic Brute.
    • His plan to get everyone safely into the game and out of the Miles involves him doing it to himself via Portal Cut.
    • He lets Dave do this to him to defeat Spades Slick and Jack English.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Similar to Roxy, before his name was revealed he was called by various nicknames — Strider, DS, Di-Stri, and to a lesser extent, Bro.
  • Only Sane Man: Dirk tended to be the cool, level-headed kid in any conversation. He was the last non-Trickster among the post-scratch kids before he, too, was ultimately converted... Yet even after that, he still uses his normal text color, and has very little change in personality compared to the others. He even states that Trickster mode has done virtually nothing, except bring the problems to the forefront.
  • Other Me Annoys Me: He makes it fully known during his break down that he despises AR because of his attitude is essentially a reflection of how he must be, and this self hate is so great that he nearly kills the A.I. because of it.
  • Oracular Urchin: Has been awake and aware on Derse for years, which explains his extensive pre-game knowledge of the session.
  • Passive-Aggressive Kombat: With his AR. With one being a copy of the other and with both enjoying irony and messing with other people's heads, it was practically inevitable.
  • Pay Evil unto Evil: He ripped out Aranea's soul after she knocked out Roxy and messed with Jake's head.
  • Perverse Puppet: Has them in his room. Along with Lil' Cal.
  • Pet the Dog: His rationale for leaving his auto-responder on as much as possible.
    TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate
    cerebral duplicate of myself.
    TT: You don’t just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to
    thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations.
    TT: That’d be sick.
  • Poor Communication Kills: Tries to pursue a relationship with Jake, but despite all of Jake's efforts, Dirk never actually talks to the guy, instead allowing his Auto-Responder and Training Robot to hassle the guy all day. In fact, we never witness a conversation between the real Dirk and Jake until the Trickster arc, in which they break up.
  • Portal Cut: Does it to his own head. All part of a Stable Time Loop Thanatos Gambit.
  • Punny Name: A sword user named Dirk.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: He has pictures of horses in his room... including Rainbow Dash. He also has a tiny Maplehoof - as in an actual Fun Size horse. As with all of his interests, the line between irony and sincerity is blurred.
    "She is so spunky. <3"
  • Robot Master: He has built several robots for himself and his friends, including a sparring bot, a PesterChum-using bot, rapping bots, and a robot bunny.
  • Serious Business: Considers irony to be this.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Slips into this sometimes. Now you see where Rose gets it.
  • Spirit Advisor: When Jake falls unconscious in the frog temple he encounters an imaginary version of Dirk in his dream bubble. This Dirk can only be seen or heard by Jake (because he came from Jake's mind) and Terezi (presumably because she's the Seer of Mind).
  • Sky Surfing: Remember how Bro Strider had a rocket board? Dirk does too.
  • Smart People Build Robots
  • Spanner in the Works: Brain Ghost Dirk ends up seriously screwing up Aranea's plans. This is made all the better considering that she's the one that ended up bringing him into existence in the first place.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Less so than his Auto-Responder, but it's still present in his own conversations.
  • So Proud of You: Dirk is incredibly proud of Roxy and sees her as the best of all the Post-Scratch kids.
  • Stealth Pun: When they're finally revealed, the last two letters of his name are called "diluvial". Diluvial means something pertaining to a flood, and "RK" sounds like (and is the last two letters of) "Ark". These last two initials were revealed after Roxy's last two initials were revealed; two-by-two, as it were. It's later shown that Dirk lives in the future where Earth is completely flooded.
  • The Stoic: Just about the only one taking everything seriously in his Session. Not that he can't loosen up and goof off himself, but he understands the full implications of Sburb much better than anyone else. He would like to goof off more, but he has too many responsibilities and important things to take care of. Even Trickster mode is incapable of pushing its manic sugar rush insanity onto him - he's still just as stoic.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: In terms of personality, he's very similar to his ectobiological daughter, Rose. They are both intellectual, stoic, and fond of Stealth Puns. In terms of appearance, he's more similar to Dave.
  • Teen Genius: To the point where Jake considers him more intelligent than Roxy. However, he downplays some of his robotics skills, saying that building a robot in his time is akin to putting a computer together in Jake and Jane's.
  • Thanatos Gambit: Kills himself through Portal Cut so Jake will kiss his severed head in the past. This revives Dirk as his Dream Self, allowing him to save Jane and Roxy. And then go back in time and wake Jake up to kiss his severed head.
    • Dirk pulls this again in [S] Collide, with Dave recovering his body for Jane to revive.
  • Trickster Mentor: He sent Jake's training bot in pieces to him for him to assemble, making him "complicit in his own merciless jungle predation" with the goal of training him into a "ruthless killing machine." It's worth mentioning that said robot can catch bullets or cut them in half with its sword on easy mode and will pummel Jake into the ground mercilessly.
  • Unbreakable Weapons: Dirk's Katana, as confirmed during the Tricksters' alchemy binge.
  • Unfortunate Names: Similar enough to "Dick" that the jokes practically write themselves, especially considering his interests and sexuality. Coupled with his last name, which is pretty close to "rider", it comes off sounding like the pseudonym of a porn star.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Accidentally creates Lord English through mashing together the component souls in Lil Cal.
  • The Unreveal: Parodied the same way as Roxy's name above - only this time the letters are obscured by a Fun Size Maplehoof.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: When AR/Lil Hal is trying to persuade Dirk not to kill him, he reminds him: "I know that you know this is wrong."
  • Would Hit a Girl: Kicks Roxy away from Jane with a "DOOF" so he can kiss her and properly wake up her dream self.
    • More seriously, his Brain Ghost has no qualms about cutting up Aranea and mangling her soul.
  • Your Soul is Mine!: One his abilities as the Prince of Heart.
  • Zen Survivor: He enjoys playing up this persona, mostly to infuriate Jake.
    GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro!


Jake English

Paradox Space Appearances: "Antiquated Japesterism" | "Secret Sufferer"

Not a gent of your PANACHE AND SWAGGER, qualities which you would BANDY WITH APLOMB on your globe-spanning adventures, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING. You would love to travel around the world, toppling any SACRED URNS you encountered. You'd be tickled by the opportunity to defile HALLOWED TOMBS everywhere, raiding them of their treasures. And how you'd give your RIGHT LEG for a shot at desecrating THE SHIT out of some real life MYSTIC RUINS for their byzantine wares. Luckily for your limb, there is a dandy set of such ruins nearby, and you desecrate them quite frequently!

The post-Scratch incarnation of Grandpa Harley, and Jade's Post-Scratch counterpart. He is Jade's penpal, communicating with her across the two Earth universes, and he assisted in the creation of the cyborg bunny and provided its weapons.

His chumhandle is golgothasTerror. He is the Page of Hope of the post-Scratch Human Session.

His STRIFE SPECIBUS is allocated to the 2X PISTOLKIND ABSTRATUS. His fetch modus is PUZZLE, which can hold a truly absurd number of items as long as the pieces fit.

He starts with capitals and ends with punctuation but thats all he does!
He uses a mix of archaic slang and indubitably motherfucking virile profanity.
He also sometimes uses role playing emotes like this. *adjusts glasses knowingly*

  • Adventurer Archaeologist: Aspires to be one.
  • Ancestral Weapon: His Weapon of Choice, Twin M9 Barettas, are part of an absurd arsenal inherited from his Grandmother.
  • Antiquated Linguistics: Moreso than Jane, Jake speaks with an odd mix of modern and early 20th century slang.
  • Awesome McCoolname: Jake. English.
  • Badass Normal: In [S] Collide, he faces down the entire frigging Felt, who are all armed with conventional weaponry and various Time-related powers. Despite getting mowed down in a hail of bullets once (and getting revived via Jane's powers afterwards), Jake manages to take down eleven of the fourteen mobsters without using his own god tier powers, impressing/surprising Crowbar (#7 of the lot) so much his cigarette falls out of his mouth.
  • Battle Couple: With Dirk, as of Act 6 Act 4.
  • Bling-Bling-BANG!: His golden pistols from Act 6 Act 4.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Loves a good scrum.
  • Breeding Slave: Jake is kept on Derse with the intention of becoming this for the possessed Jane, as part of their agreement to have "a zillion babies." Jake is completely broken by this and tries to isolate himself from others, in part because of the whole incident.
  • Bruiser with a Soft Center: Even though Jake is prone to accidental assholery and, as we see in his fight with Meenah, he can be pretty dang aggressive when he needs to, he's still a sweetie a good deal of the time. He's consistently polite and kind and obviously cares about his friends. Plus, he's probably cried more than all the other human boys put together.
  • Butt-Monkey: So much in the later parts of Act 6. Having to wear a stupid-looking speedo is the least of his worries.
    • Tavrosprite tries to cheer him up about accepting he might not be the great adventuring hero he wanted to be but Vriska immediately corrects that:
      VRISKA: You are never going to do anything important, and you'll never amount to anything. Period!
  • Call-Back: Caliborn wanting to be the cause of everything and helping Jake become a Worthy Opponent is similar to Vriska manipul8ing things and helping Tavros and John. However, Caliborn does not seem to have contacted Jake nearly as much as Vriska did with the people she was working with.
  • Captain Oblivious: He completely fails to notice things that everyone else figures out quickly though at least some of this is self-delusion to avoid acknowledging upsetting or difficult truths.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Caliborn accuses him of this, even calling him a douche for it.
  • Celibate Hero: After the romantic entanglements of Act 6 Act 5, Jake becomes dismayed with the romantic attention he has received, even outright rejecting the advances of Aranea, his literal dream girl.
    • Even after John's retcon shenanigans, Jake's shame over the whole affair leads him to strive for isolation and decide to avoid contact with others as much as possible.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: As Jade's pen pal as early as Act 3.
  • The Chick: A rare male example, though he's also - indirectly - responsible for a lot of turmoil in his group. He later starts living up to his Aspect - Hope - in the retconned timeline and becomes a more straightforward version of this.
  • Clap Your Hands If You Believe: The source of his Hope powers, including making his imaginary Dirk real.
    ARANEA: It seems to me that you are quite real, Dirk.
    DIRK: That's because my buddy Jake just helped me become a whole hell of a lot less fake.
    DIRK: You see,
    DIRK: He believes in me.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: He is related to Jade, after all.
  • Clueless Chick Magnet: Everyone wants him. He just doesn't get it.
  • Cool Mask: He wears one resembling his Skull Top in Act 6 Act 4. He and Dirk wear these masks to protect them from the seemingly toxic atmosphere of Dirk's planet.
  • Crazy-Prepared: He carries 5 computers on himself at all times, like a sensible person.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: His power as a awakened Page of Hope is so great it defeats Grimbark Jade even when she's using the power of the Green Sun against him.
    • This is even more blatantly spelled out in Caliborn's claymation masterpiece (detailing the battle between him and the kids), where not even the "RAINBOW SEIZURE FIELD" — Caliborn's clockwork majyyks, which become Lord English's signature reality-shattering doublekilling attack — not even that can overcome Jake's Hope powers (which Caliborn dubbed a "MASSIVE GAY HOPE BUBBLE").
  • Dead to Begin With: His dreamself was killed before his first appearance.
  • Deconstruction: Of the naive pretty boy type. See Even the Guys Want Him and It's All About Me below.
  • Does Not Understand Sarcasm: Much of the humor of his interactions with Erisolsprite come from this.
  • Embarrassing but Empowering Outfit: Jake's god tier costume has bright yellow briefs that surprises Jake and Jane even more than the sudden appearance of reality warping dog-eared girl.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: Of Sweet Bro, to compliment Dirk's tattoo. It has since been covered up by a Geromy sticker.
  • Erotic Dream: Involving Neytiri.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Every one of his friends has a crush on him, to the point where it drives Dirk and Jane apart for months.
    • It extends to Dirk's splinters too, like the AR or a copy of Dirk in Jake's subconscious.
    • Roughly 1/3 of his lower tier echeladder rungs lampshade this: "One Tomb; Many Suitors;" "Cupid's Crosshair Candy," "Sharkbait Heartthrob," "Hunk Rumpus Buster," "Beau Skylark."
  • Extreme Doormat: Eventually offers no objection to being referred to as "Joke."
  • Eye Glasses: Humorous Lampshaded when Dirk's Brobot punches him and knocks his eyes off with the glasses.
    • Played with once again in the same way, though with an added dash of terror, when Trickster!Jane sends him over a cliff Gamzee-and-Kanaya style.
  • Failed a Spot Check: Thanks to using a vision-blocking computer helmet while hanging around outdoors where FRIGHTENING FAUNA of a regrettable REALNESS ATTRIBUTE lurk.
  • Fetish: Pretty open about having a thing for blue skinned space babes. And Smurfette. And washed-out blue pictures of Lara Croft. Really, he's not that discriminating as long as they're blue. Two of his crushes, Aranea and Jane, are heavily associated with the color blue as well.
  • The Fool: Initially seems to fill this role in the same way as John, but Jake's plucky ignorance eventually becomes so profound that multiple characters are bewildered at how oblivious he is to the people and events around him. Strongly suggested to be some kind of subconscious Obfuscating Stupidity.
  • Genius Bruiser: He's pretty intelligent when he applies himself, though he's had a lot of help from Dirk and Roxy.
  • Good Counterpart: To Eridan. Both are Heroes of Hope and routinely fight lusii, but Jake shows remorse for killing a fairy bull and is outright scared of the lusii. Eridan propositions everyone for romantic interest and is always unsuccessful, while Jake gets romantic interest from everyone without even trying but eventually blows it. Both manage to monopolize conversations with others with blather about their relationships, frequently trampling over whatever the other side might wish to talk about. Ironically, Jake even ends up with Eridan as part of his sprite, to act as a foil to him.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: One of his preferred methods of fighting.
  • Guns Akimbo: Inherited from his Grandmother.
  • Have a Gay Old Time: As part of his tendency to employ anachronistic vernacular, although he's aware of its modern meaning and is only using it to troll Caliborn.
    GT: In my view distinguished gentlemen should always strive to be as gay as possible with each other.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Jake attempts to save Jane from being stabbed by Aranea by flinging himself in front of her and taking the blow. It's all but useless and detrimental as not only does Aranea fling the sword into Jane anyway, but his attempt to save her ends up preventing his potential revival.
  • She's Got Legs: They seem to be the first thing Dirk and Jane notice about his God Tier outfit, though to be fair his outfit doesn't cover the legs while the others' do. Even Caliborn describes them as "shapely" and good-looking in his ridiculous speedos. They've become minor memes in their own right.
  • Hollywood Action Hero: What he likes to think he is.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Complains to Jane about how suffocating Dirk can be and about how little he really thinks about the other party's interests of feelings in a conversation while doing exactly the same thing to Jane.
  • Impossibly Tacky Clothes:
    • His full set of ostentatious wearable computers.
    "Luckily (or unfortunately) you grew up alone, so there was never anyone around to point out how ridiculous you look."
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Takes a sword to the stomach courtesy of Aranea in an attempt to prevent the same fate from happening to Jane. It ends up being judged a Heroic death.
  • Impractically Fancy Outfit: His double holster, shown here.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Played for Laughs and parodied. All of his co-players are in love with him and most dialogue says that he's really hot... despite Hussie's art style rendering him the same as the other kids.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Most likely due to his unconventional upbringing, Jake has a tendency to be oblivious to the feelings of others, mostly with Jane. It's also implied that in his previous incarnation he was similar and ran away from home and from Nanna without apparently considering how it made her feel.
    • His tendency to turn any conversation into one about his own problems eventually drives Jane bonkers to the point of destroying her chat device.
  • Inventory Management Puzzle: Literally; his Fetch Modus is PUZZLE. He keeps the remains of his old house in it.
  • It's All About Me: Due to being raised entirely alone, and thus has a very, very limited social understanding, he constantly blabbers on about his relationships, and routinely misinterprets and misconstrues implications. This means that he rarely, if ever, actually considers another persons issues, or what how what he is saying might harm others. This makes Jane furious at him and Dirk break up with him.
  • Jive Turkey: Speaks in a really odd mix of archaic and modern slang. Unlike Jane's predilection for proper grammar, this gets commented on a lot.
  • Jumped at the Call:
    • If exuberant for ADVENTURE, then logically would accept it readily.
    • Subverted later. He's wary of the fact that as a Page, he subconsciously knows a lot of things he doesn't think he should.
  • Kid from the Future: During Acts 3-5, it seemed that he was Jade's grandson from the future. It's subverted when we learn that he's just her grandfather's Alternate Universe counterpart. He however, does think he's speaking to his Grandma in the past.
    • Taken to a new zenith with the Hopesplosion - Jake's incessant catchphrases can be heard across planets.
  • Leap and Fire: He thinks this looks really cool.
  • LGBT Awakening: Figuring out that Dirk has feelings for him gets him to seriously consider the possibility of a relationship with him, and he realizes that he doesn't really consider Dirk being a guy to be a barrier in this regard.
    GT: But my thought process sort of went like this.
    GT: Hes been my best friend forever and ive always liked him a lot as a bro.
    GT: And years ago i used to joke around with him that we would probably be totally into each other if he was a girl.
    GT: But of course that was before i started to realize he was probably serious about those feelings for me regardless.
    GT: Heheh come to think of it maybe that was unwittingly poor form on my part kind of leading him on or something?
    GG: Whoops!!
    GT: But then...
    GT: Later i started thinking.
    GT: Maybe i was being kind of unfair to him in the first place?
    GT: I mean by saying we would be a good match only if he was a girl.
    GT: Like is that last condition there really all THAT important?
  • Light 'em Up: The visual manifestation of Hope powers.
  • Living Memory: As the Page of Hope, he is able to use his Hope to create these, such as Ghost Brain Dirk - his ideal boyfriend taking the physical form of Dirk - and the angels he spawns, which are actually wingless dragons.
  • Loners Are Freaks: Jake turns to solitude in Act 6 Act 6, which earns him the ire of Aranea, Vriska and Jasprosesprite^2.
  • Magikarp Power: All Pages have this, but Jake as the Page of Hope in particular has vast amounts of untapped potential.
    • For the record, he spends most of his time as a God Tier weeping uncontrollably. Just after that, he created a field of literal hope that, with Aranea's intervention, results in the death of a Physical God, explicitly stated to be one of the strongest beings in Sburb.
  • Malicious Misnaming: Vriska calls him "Jape" and "Joke" because she doesn't care about him or his "simplistic human name" and at that point Jake is too weak-willed to correct her (Jake: Yes. Sure.). On the other hand in Caliborn's "foreshadowing/spoiler" he is definitely a Wild Card.
  • Marry Them All: After going Trickster he decides to marry Jane and have lots of babies. Then when they go after Roxy he proclaims that Roxy can be his co-bride and he'll have lots of children with her. The three of them go find Dirk later, and while Jane and Roxy lose interest when they see his Trickster Mode didn't really change his mental state, Jake insists they include him.
  • Meaningful Name: His grandmother deliberately renamed herself after Lord English in order to insult the Condesce. Jake himself is obsessed with skulls, wears what appears to be a caricature of English's skull on his shirt and there's a poster of what appears to be a film about Lord English on his wall. Most of his wearable-computers resemble Lord English: a flashing coat, mismatched shoes that follow the same color scheme as LE's clawed foot and peg-leg, and a skull-shaped helmet with flashing eyes. These turn out to be made by Grandma English's company, as another way of insulting the Batterwitch.
    • His chumhandle is named for Golgotha. As the article states, the name means "place of a skull", referencing Jake's love of skulls. It's also the site of JC's death...
    • The heroes of the Post-Scratch Human session are known as Nobles. Lord is a title of nobility.
    • Just to add to the confusion, he's now named after an immortal evil alien who stole his name, creating a loop of two people naming themselves after each other.
  • Mid-Season Upgrade: He gains powers through his brief period as a Trickster and upon reaching the Godtier, as does everyone else. What sets him apart, however, is the Hope upgrade he gains from Aranea.
  • Mook Maker: The awakening of his Page of Hope powers is creating angels. Note that in Homestuck, "angels" are gargantuan limbless dragons that breathe their Aspect - in this case, Hope.
  • The Movie Buff: Like John and Karkat, he loves movies. Unlike them, who focus on bad movies and romcoms respectively, he loves ALL movies indiscriminately.
  • Mr. Fanservice: He's a permanent joke on this trope. His idea of what a dashing adventurer should look like covers all the visual range from "male Lara Croft" to "stripper boy complete with bowtie and all". The irony is that any potential sexiness is nullified by Homestuck's iconic art style; the double irony is that the fanarts and cosplays more than make up for it... and that's obviously the way it was meant to be all along.
    • He also has a considerable amount of fetish fuel points, between the fact that he's oddly well-groomed for a boy who has lived alone on an island his whole life, the not-so-implied bisexuality, the weird affinity for impossibly short shorts, etc.
    • Played straight on the Volume 9 album cover, which shows him in all of his Pretty Boy adventurer glory.
  • Mythology Gag: One of his echeladder levels is called "Hunk Rumpus Buster"
  • Nerd Action Hero: What he actually is. Deconstructed after his Trickster Mode rampage.
  • No-Sell: Awakening to his Page of Hope powers created a Hope Field that makes it impossible for others to communicate with him. His underpants and Hope Field also make it impossible for Jade to concentrate and send him to the Furthest Ring.
  • No Social Skills: Part growing up in isolation, part natural personality. He's bad at reading between the lines and thinking about things from other perspectives unless prompted. He can be really careless with the feelings of others, and often fails to consider that they may have a problem with the way he's treating them until they tell him up-front. But this is far more from his tendency to take things at face-value - especially from people he trusts - than any actual malice, as he hates hurting his friends and will quickly stop if told he's doing so.
  • Oblivious Guilt Slinging: To Jane as he talks repeatedly about how relieved he is to get all his feelings honestly out in the open, right after she fails to be honest with hers.
  • Oblivious to Love: Zig-zagged. He's aware of Jane's and Dirk's feelings for him, but when Jane Can't Spit It Out when asked directly, he takes her at face value despite noticing that she's acting odd about it. He may also be aware of Roxy's feelings, though he's only hinted at it in passing.
    • Subverted later. Dirk's fragment in Jake's subconscious shows that he's actually completely aware of what is going on with everyone's feelings and just isn't comfortable acknowledging it.
    • Being hopeless with romance seems to be the hat of Hope players, with Jake being seemingly oblivious to the considerable romantic interest directed at him and Eridan and Cronus being a little (in Cronus's case, far) too obsessed with romantic pursuit, to the extent of alienating everyone they may have had a chance with.
  • Oh, Crap!: When fighting the brobot.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Before his full name was revealed he was only known by his initial "J". It turned out to be Jane's nickname for him.
  • Plot Allergy: He shares John's peanut allergy. His dreamself died when he was fed peanuts by (B2) Courtyard Droll.
  • Poster-Gallery Bedroom: So far, easily the most extreme example: you can't even see the walls or windows because of his movie posters.
  • Red Herring: After the introduction of one of Homestuck's most powerful villains, Lord English, we are soon introduced to the alpha kids, including one Jake English. His shirt's icon closely resembles Lord English's skull, and apart from having the same surname, the alpha kids' title of the Nobles would make Jake's noble title "Lord English". Then, we are introduced to Caliborn, who is essentially a young Lord English. He receives the cursed juju Lil Cal, which eventually becomes a Soul Jar that contains him during all of its timeline.
  • Reluctant Fanservice Girl: The Page outfit consists of speedos and a hoodie. He is not happy about it.
  • Secret Diary: Filled with BARK code. Roxy appearified it from him and still has it, unwilling to admit to the theft.
  • Senseless Sacrifice: Tries to save Jane in [S] GAME OVER. Both of them end up dying.
  • Sex Slave: Crockertier Jane plans to move forward with Trickster!Jane's plans to marry him and have "a zillion babies" with him, and these would obviously play out this way. Trickster!Jane may have had similar intentions as a drugged-up Yandere, but, unlike her, she's planning this despite her absolute contempt for him.
    JANE: You're lucky you're so hot.
  • Shout-Out:
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He thinks he's like Nathan Drake, but in reality he'd be that character's understudy at best.
  • So Beautiful It's a Curse: "Why does everyone want to kiss me all the time! What did i ever do to deserve this sort of attention!"
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Quite a bit.
    GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all.
    GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?
  • Strong Family Resemblance: John and Jake are almost exactly alike, right down to sharing a peanut allergy and having similar personalities and mannerisms, although Jake is more eccentric and less sensitive. Not to mention that, with a haircut, Jake would be virtually identical to John. According to Roxy, they even sound alike.
  • Take Up My Sword: Upon learning that his grandmother was affiliated with the resistance movement against Crocker.
    GT: I want to join the opposition!
    GT: Fuck this witch i have lots of guns and reckless bravado and i want to stop her. Ill pick up where my grandma left off!
  • Took a Level in Badass: Subverted with the Godtier, as Jane is easily able to haul him into Derse's prison. Played magnificently straight with the results of the Hopesplosion, which not only generated enough energy to create Angels, but destroyed most of Derse.
  • Uncanny Valley Makeup: In Trickster Mode, as with Jane. Made even worse not so much by the fact that he is a male example who isn't in drag, but instead because it's essentially the same as Jane's, eyelashes included.
  • Wall of Weapons: His inventory is literally full of guns and food.
  • Who Wears Short Shorts?: Both his outfits in Act 6 Act 4 have 'em, one of them complete with the Tomb Raider holsters that he couldn't pull off when his shorts were longer. His eventual God Tier clothes even go to the extreme of Speedo-length shorts.
  • Wild Card: Caliborn didn't realize the power of Jake's Hopesplosion in his preview of the final battle.
  • Worthy Opponent: To Caliborn. To the extent that Caliborn took the name of English after Jake laid a hope-fueled beatdown on him out of respect.
  • Wouldn't Hit a Girl: He acts dorkily chivalrous, but he does make one exception. Once he figures out that Meenah is a version of the Batterwitch, he starts beating her to a pulp. Of course, she's already dead, so it doesn't really do much. That and she's too busy fangirling over her post-Scratch self, the Condesce, who's the actual Batterwitch, to even notice.

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Alternative Title(s): Homestuck Alpha


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