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Characters / Homestuck The Felt

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"When you belong to the Felt, you're either as serious as a heart attack, or dumb as a brain hemorrhage. Or the medically spectacular condition where those two problems coincide."

A rival gang to the Midnight Crew, The Felt are the minions of the time traveling mobster Lord English, who are (mostly) leprechauns following a billiards theme. They are introduced in the Midnight Crew Intermission of Homestuck, and almost all of them are also killed during it. Each one has a unique ability, often related to magical items called "jujus."


Tropes applying to the entire group:

  • Amazing Technicolor Population: Almost all of The Felt are green.
  • Back from the Dead: The Felt return in Act 6 Intermission 5 when Spades Slick pulls all of the pins (except Snowman's) from Die's doll.
  • Bad Guys Play Pool: They actually have no idea what "pool" is, but they have invented a game based on their hats in which balls are placed on a table and tapped with a stick until they fall into holes on the edge. They call it table stickball.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: Almost all of them wear suits and bowties.
  • Big Guy, Little Guy: Clover and Quarters, who can switch out at the flip of a coin.
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: Hussie self-parodies troll romance by taking Leprechaun romance Up to Eleven. Romance is composed of nine "charms" that can be combined to form "troves," and each centers around a mix of emotions and exchange of pranks, teasing, and games of chance. Some combinations are better for fertility than others, and they also determine what kind of mating jig is danced between the two. Mating is also neither exclusively heterosexual or bisexual, but Aranea was finally cut off before she could go into detail on the subject and their anatomy. Also they are made out of actual felt.
    • Fans have managed to get un-glitch most of the glitched up pages. And while the majority of this page was just blocks of nothing (with random phrases that had been used by Dave long ago to describe the smuppets that freaked him out), it specifically states that their race is exclusively homosexual. To directly quote the text, "the Felt are all super gay."
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  • Brick Joke: Crowbar, Matchsticks, and Quarters were all dead before the Felt Intermission started. Thousands of pages later, the 7th, 11th, and 14th planets of Caliborn's Dead session were shown to be destroyed before it began.
  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": They play "table stickball," not pool, using roundcircles, not balls, and empty sockets, not pockets.
  • Cast Full of Gay: The Felt are canonically "all super gay." However, The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven portrays Crowbar with a crush on Snowman, so he may be the exception.
  • Creator In-Joke: The Felt are actually from a game idea Andrew had worked on, but that also ultimately was deemed too difficult by sheer technical restraints. They appeared on a poster on Dave's wall before actually being introduced.
  • Death Is Cheap: Long after having killed them all, Spades Slick finds Die's Voodoo Doll, pulls all the pins out (Except Snowman's), and tells them all that they work for him now.
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  • Dwindling Party: The Midnight Crew offs them one by one in the Intermission, with only three left by the end.
  • Foe Romance Subtext: If Aranea's exposition on their mating habits is to be believed, Itchy, Trace, Clover, and Fin spent most of their appearances flirting with the Midnight Crew. Who evidently didn't appreciate it.
  • Gang of Hats: Literally. Except for Doc Scratch, each wears a pool-themed hat.
    • The two troll Ancestors who work for The Felt, the Handmaid and the Condesce also don't wear hats.
  • Gotta Catch Them All: Each member of The Felt is actually a minion Caliborn recruits after he has conquered their world. The numbers on their hats actually depicts the order in which he's recruited them.
  • Gotta Kill Em All: Spades Slick's main objective. He succeeds, save for Lord English (who he wants to kill but never does) and Clover who, it is implied, may have survived the destruction of the Alternian universe.
    • Due to time travel and alternate timelines, and their abuse of both, they can still show up as needed, as they did to help Doc Scratch with Spades at a point after they were killed.
  • Harmless Villain: Most of The Felt are more mischievous than outright malicious.
  • Homosexual Reproduction: According to Aranea.
  • Law of Chromatic Superiority: Both Crowbar and Cans, who are the ones with maroon hats, were the most competent of the bunch.
  • Leprechaun: What they are all except for Snowman. Although some debate they may be some kind of gnome, elves, or possibly just puppet people. Caliborn calls them something different every time he refers to them.
  • Meaningful Name: Their skin apparently feels like felt.
  • Mook: The fact that the two most productive and useful members of The Felt, Doc Scratch and the Handmaid, weren't introduced with The Felt and might well be considered separate characters says something about these guys, as does the fact that Crowbar served as their leader more or less while English was content to let Slick and the Crew go around and murder them.
    • Act 6 reveal part of the reason behind this; Caliborn never really cared to use them in the first place, only gathering them because he had to in order to win his session. Since he's beyond omnipotence now as Lord English, they're irrelevant to his plans and he leaves them to their devices.
  • Mook–Face Turn: All the leprechauns start to follow Spades Slick when he pulls their pins out. Of course, it's arguable how good Spades Slick is, but he is an enemy of Lord English and still plans to beat him, meaning that the leprechauns have effectively turned against their master.
  • Numerical Theme Naming: With the exception of Lord English and Doc Scratch (due to The Felt being based on pool balls), every member of The Felt has a name that relates to a number in some way. Also crosses over with Punny Name in most cases.
  • One-Gender Race: The leprechaun race is all male.
  • Reality Warper: Several of The Felt members have powers that don't necessarily affect time, but rather, aspects of reality, to a minor extent. For example, Stitch's ability to repair wounds using effigies or Quarters' Summon Magic.
  • Straight Gay: Their species is implied to have a single sex, putting them into this since they also all identify as male.
  • Summon Magic: Whenever they use one of Quarters' special quarters, they can switch places with another member of The Felt. However if it lands poorly, they die.
  • Theme Naming: In addition to the above, the organization's name continues the pool theme: green felt is what is usually used to carpet a pool table. Extends to Doc's home, and the green moon in general, representing the pool table itself.
    • Doesn't extend to the Handmaid or the Condesce however, unless they are considered some odd things, like the chalk or the rack. Word of God is the English is the cue stick.
  • Time Master: Most of The Felt members possess a time power of some kind. Some of them are more general magic abilities though (ie: Quarters or Clover), or straight Reality Warping.
  • Timey-Wimey Ball
  • Villain Teleportation: Snowman, Matchsticks, and Sawbuck to an extent. Snowman can go wherever but not back in time, but she displays awareness of branched timelines somehow anyways. Matchsticks can only teleport via fire, but can travel in time, and Sawbuck has no control over his jumps which are also always through time and space.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: Most of the characters listed here are bumped off before the end of the Intermission, and those that appear later are dealt with rather quickly. Snowman is the only exception, since she survives until the events of [S] Cascade. Matchsticks is the best example - he dies a few panels after he shows up.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: All of them except Crowbar (who just stood and watched) and Snowman (who's still dead) are defeated by Jake and Karkat in the End of Act 6 flash. We never find out what happened to them afterward. The MSPA snapchat revealed Jack Noir hijacked control over them before getting blasted out of the stratosphere, to which they were presumably then employed by Jane.


  • Caffeine Bullet Time: It's implied that he moves so fast because he's all wound up on caffeine.
  • Card Sharp: He isn't particularly fun to play against given that he can swap cards faster than you can blink.
  • Colour-Coded Timestop: A yellow clock face appears around him when he is seen utilizing his speed powers.
  • Flash Step: How his Super Speed normally manifests.
  • Official Couple: Possibly with Clover, as the two are seen together doing a jig (which is what is considered to be sex to Leprechauns) in "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven"
  • Older Than They Look: It's implied Itchy is older than all the members of the Felt, probably due to his Super Speed.
  • Super Speed: Via speeding time up for himself
  • The Trickster: He likes using his speed to annoy both allies and enemies alike, as shown in both the Intermission and "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven"
  • Punny Name: "Ichi", Japanese for 1.


  • Colour-Coded Timestop: A blue clock face appears around him when he's seen utilizing his ability to slow himself down.
  • Butt-Monkey: Every one of his appearances involves him being captured, tied up, chased after and finally, blown up. Even Spades is a little frustrated at how often he gets caught by the Midnight Crew. And, of course, he has by far the most useless power of the bunch.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Quite a few members of The Felt, actually, but it's particularly obvious with him.
  • Punny Name: "Dos", Spanish for 2.
  • Slouch of Villainy: Always seen slouching over.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Doze's power is that he can slow himself down. Granted, this makes it pretty bloody useless to try to interrogate him, because it takes him a long time to register pain, and anything he does say is so horribly distorted by slowdown as to be unintelligible. Lampshaded by Caliborn, who wonders how being slow even counts as a power.


  • Everything Is Even Worse With Sharks: Has shark teeth, and follows blood-coloured trails like one.
  • Glorious Mother Russia: Caliborn gathers The Felt from planets that are the colors of their hats, so you can't blame Trace for coming from a red planet with conspicuous and numerous onion-dome cathedrals on its horizon.
  • Punny Name: "Tres", Spanish for 3. His time power is tracing where people were in the past.
  • Stealth Pun: Both he and Fin resemble sharks and are part of a billiards-themed gang. They're pool sharks.
  • Time Master: His power is the ability to track people's Past Trails through the past, and sucker punch them from the future. Unfortunately for him, this means that the people he punches know where he's going to be in the future.


  • Affably Evil: "Highly cooperative" according to Slick, Clover has no qualms about helping the Midnight Crew if they solve his time riddles.
  • Anything That Moves: Clover has been repeatedly been shown to flirt with members of the Midnight Crew, The Felt, and even formed a crush on Karkat.
  • Born Lucky: "You think you can shoot Clover? He is so lucky the gun will probably jam or something predictable like that."
  • Four Is Death: This will happen to him if he flips his own number on his summoning coin. Fortunately for him, this will never happen.
    • In another sense, if he appears and flips that coin to summon Quarters, then this trope is played ''very'' straight. Just ask Spades Slick.
  • Guns Are Worthless: See the quote above: the narrator outright dismisses the possibility that guns could harm Clover. True to the trope's form, a less complex and sophisticated weapon — a rolled-up newspaper — is shown to be effective against Clover, on the reasoning that there are fewer factors that could chance to interfere with the attack, or possibly because getting hit with a newspaper isn't really that unpleasant. "It's kind of a gray area."
  • The Kid with the Remote Control: Diminutive, Sprightly Fellow with the Summoning Coin of a Big Man with a Minigun.
  • Logical Weakness:
    • Despite his stated immunity to grievous harm, he can still be pummeled to help with less lethal instruments, such as a rolled-up newspaper.
    "You don't have to be all that unlucky to get whacked around with a newspaper. It's sort of a gray area."
  • Love at First Punch: Shows a bunch of charms randomly in his eyes after getting beaten by Karkat.
  • Meaningful Name: Is Number 4 (as in Four-Leaf Clover), is the symbol of good luck within the ranks of The Felt and is also green.
  • Not Quite Dead: Andrew drew a page confirming which characters were alive/dead at that point, and Clover's was marked with a question mark, indicating that he may still be alive even after Spades crossed him off the list as dead.
  • Official Couple: Possibly with Itchy, as the two are seen together doing a jig (which is what is considered to be sex to Leprechauns) in "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven"
  • Punny Name: As in Four-Leaf Clover.
  • Shorter Means Smarter
  • Sole Survivor: Of The Felt mooks after the Intermission and [S] Cascade.
  • Summon Magic: Can disappear and summon Quarters by flipping his coin.
  • The Smart Guy: Has a knack for riddles.
  • Tag Team: With Quarters.
  • The Tease: All those riddles and dances he did while the Midnight Crew was trying to kill him and his fellows? In retrospect, it turns out that that was all pretty flirtatious by leprechaun standards.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Clover technically "died" when Jack Noir transitioned into a timeline where he was already dead. Despite this he later appears unharmed in Doc Scratch's house on the moon, where he promptly switches places with Quarters. Even after the universe ends, it's hinted that he's still alive.


  • Everything Is Even Worse With Sharks: He's got shark teeth. That seems to be part of the reason he's called Fin. Also, his planet is distinguished by its shark-infested pools of water.
  • Punny Name: Slang term for five dollar bills. He can also travel to the end of your timeline.
  • Shout-Out: He and Trace's abilities were inspired by Donnie Darko.
  • Stealth Pun: Both he and Trace resemble sharks and are part of a billiards-themed gang. They're pool sharks.
  • Time Master: His temporal power is the ability to see people's Future Trails, and the ability to attack them from the past. Unfortunately for him, doing this leaves evidence in the future that allows people to track and attack him.


  • Alternate Timeline: Die can use a weird Voodoo Doll type thing to teleport to an alternate timeline where certain people are either dead or alive, and everything that results from their death/not-death. He uses the doll by sticking in pins which corresponds to each members of The Felt and the Midnight Crew.
  • Deer in the Headlights: Played for Laughs; Die is terrified into silence when Crowbar walks in on his chickens. Crowbar remarks that Die does this constantly, and that he's "like a deer in the head-lights of a parked ass car."
  • Evil Is Petty: As mentioned below, likes timeline-hopping to view the corpses of those who cheat at cards with him.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Having been cheated out of cards by Itchy, Die uses his doll to teleport to the timeline where Itchy dies, as he always does out of spite whenever a Felt ticks him off. This ends up causing his own death by Spades Slick.
  • Noodle Incident: Just what was he doing with those chickens when Crowbar walked in on him?
  • Punny Name: Both as in a 6-sided die and also when Spades Slick helped him to "live up to his name."
  • The Quiet One: Die doesn't say much and mumbles inaudibly when he does get the nerve to talk.
  • Slashed Throat: How Spades takes him out as soon as he re-enters the alpha timeline.


  • Anti-Magic: His crowbar has the power to destroy and revert any Time-manipulation ability.
  • Ascended Extra: He had one of the smallest roles during the intermission, being dead before the comic's events, and only appearing because of the Crew messing around with Die's doll. The Felt's other main appearances present him as the face of the group, interacting with Caliborn and Jack Noir, and their Paradox Space comic, "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven" was centered around him.
  • Badass Normal: He is one of two members of The Felt to not have any ability. He's also more or less the only one with his head in the game when English isn't around.
  • Back from the Dead: Spades revives him in the current timeline by bringing him back in his War Chest. And kills him again shortly later.
  • Cannot Talk to Women: Despite being the best socializer of the Felt, Crowbar can barely get a few words in to Snowman before tracking off and visibly blushing. Justified in that he has only ever met the one woman.
  • Comical Overreacting: Crowbar may not be one for sarcasm, but even he can't resist giving a sarcastic gasp when Die threatens him, seeing as Die's power is essentially just to retreat magically.
  • Diabolical Mastermind: Caliborn made him his number one guy for a reason.
  • Didn't See That Coming: He's completely shocked when Jake defeats almost the entirety of the Felt on his own.
  • The Dragon: While Doc Scratch is one to Lord English, he was one to Caliborn when Caliborn was in his session.
  • Evil Counterpart: To Diamonds Droog, both are the Comically Serious straight men to their bosses weird antics. They're both the Hyper-Competent Sidekick whose quick thinking puts them on top; the narrative lampshades this by giving them a few similar scenes, and Crowbar takes over Droog's position later on.
  • Hero Killer: He's the one to actually kill Jake during Collide, though Jane revives him shortly afterwards.
  • I Remember It Like It Was Yesterday: Crowbar's ending narration of "The Inaugural Death" has him say he remembers two things: his mission to Midnight City like it was last week, and his first death like it was yesterday, both with the explanation that time travel may make those statements literal.
  • Literal Metaphor: Crowbar indicates there's a list of stuff he doesn't do; by which he means a physical list he has in his breast pocket.
  • Literal-Minded: Crowbar's uses metaphors, hyperboles, and aphorisms figuratively in one sentence, only to follow up on them as if he meant them literally in the next sentence. It's Played for Laughs because of just how seriously Crowbar delivers these mangled, confused speeches that can't decide how literal they want to be. He's at least aware of his inability to be consistent with literary elements, since he frequently admits his dislike for them.
    "You don't DO hyperbole. It's on a list of stuff you don't do. The list is literally kept in your breast pocket to show at clowns who don't take you serious now and then."
  • Medium Awareness: Crowbar wonders how long his adventure has been going on for, then looks up towards the page count to find out.
  • Mixed Metaphor: "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven" sees him mix and mash several metaphors together throughout his narration, sometimes intentionally.
    "Never did claim comedy was your bag. And your bag is another can of worms entirely."
  • Mook Lieutenant: As the head of the leprechauns, Crowbar gives orders to the low-level members of the Felt while his powerful bosses can go run their inter-dimensional schemes.
  • Number Two: He replaces Droog in this position to Spades Slick. Slick prefers Droog.
  • Posthumous Character: Well, mostly. He was already dead by the time the Midnight Crew showed up, but he came back when his pin was put in Die's doll.
  • Punny Name: A crowbar is shaped similarly to the number 7 and is also a word with seven letters.
  • Rhetorical Question Blunder: He manages to undermine his own rhetorical question, which wasn't even spoken aloud, by answering it, emphasizing his lack of understanding of comedy and literary conventions.
    "... Third in command to be precise. But who's counting? The answer is, of course, you are. YOU'RE counting. It's your JOB to count."
  • Servile Snarker: To Spades Slick in Act 6 Intermission 5.
  • The Social Expert: He'd just about have to be in order to win over Caliborn of all people in the space of a single conversation. Caliborn's the most damnedly stubborn, contrary, spiteful, willfully ignorant character in the story, and yet he comes back from his chat with Crowbar reporting that the latter is "highly intelligent and personable" and Caliborn's new favorite "elf".
  • The Strategist: Even though he has no actual powers, Spades Slick considers him by far the highest-priority target among the Felt, since they're actually dangerous with Crowbar leading them.
  • Take That, Audience!: Crowbar refers to the reader as a "useless boob" for assuming "Number Two" referred to Doc Scratch rather than Doze.
  • They Call Him "Sword": His name matches his tool, a crowbar.
  • Vanity License Plate: The second-to-last panel of his story shows he has a car with the license plate "Crowbar," again showing his stellar imagination.

Snowman/Banished Quasiroyal

  • Barrier Maiden: Killing Snowman ends the universe. Ending the universe also summons Lord English. When Spades Slick is forced to do her in, the resulting death of the universe also assists in the creation of the Green Sun.
  • Blue Blood: In both senses of the word.
  • Death-Activated Superpower: If you kill her, you destroy the universe.
  • The Dreaded: Not really her so much as her Death-Activated Superpower—gunfire ceases when Snowman enters the scene because everyone's terrified of accidentally blowing up the universe if they hit her. It's to the point that her own teammates are afraid to say her name.
  • Face Framed in Shadow: She's shaded in the same way as the Midnight Crew, but with green highlights instead of white.
  • Foe Romance Subtext : With Slick; he seems more upset at having her catching him behaving embarrassingly than he does when she stabs out his eye. Later, it becomes outright text when they Hate Snog.
  • For the Evulz: Enjoys tormenting Slick and does so frequently.
  • Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: What kind of Femme Fatale would she be without a cigarette holder?
  • Instant Death Bullet: What finishes off Snowman once and for all.
  • Killed Off for Real: Snowman gets shot through the heart by Spades Slick, and even though he could revive her with Die's voodoo doll, he chooses not to since bringing her back could have some weird side effects since her heart contained a now dead universe in it.
  • Load-Bearing Boss: In a sense, the biggest one ever. Killing her ends the universe, just as pocketing an 8 ball ends a game of pool.
  • Meaningful Rename: Originally Black Queen, then Banished Quasiroyal after her Exile, before finally becoming Snowman after joining the Felt.
  • Mix-and-Match Critters: As the trolls' Black Queen, even worse than in the kids' session.
    "She would be braced for the heavy load of augmentation ahead. She could certainly withstand the eight eyes of an arachnid. The fairy wings might at worst be frivolous, and the great bull horns could even be regarded as striking additions. For that matter, the sultry lips of a mother grub might very plausibly suit her. She perhaps would wear a brave face even behind a dignified mustache, and the centauring of her lower torso could transpire without much complaint. She would dutifully indulge a lactating udder. And when all was said and done, doubling her head count would surely be insult to elevenfold injury, but nothing she hadn't essentially endured already, all in the name of her kingdom."
  • Mundane Utility: What does she do with the load she bears? Torment Slick with the knowlege that he can't retaliate!
  • Non-Standard Character Design: Quite unlike The Felt, she has black skin with green highlights. Given that she's the former Black Queen, it's to be expected.
  • Not Afraid to Die: "What are you waiting for? Draw, Spades."
  • Only Sane Woman: Calmest and most intelligent of the Felt mooks. Also an inversion when compared to Lord English's other female minions; between the Condesce and Handmaid, she's the only one who appears to willingly work for English, rather than being his subservient slave.
  • Pet the Dog: Seen here
  • Pre-emptive Declaration: "Hold still, Slick. Something in your eye."
  • Punny Name: A snowman's shape resembles an 8. Also, she's no man. Also, "snowmen" is poker slang for a pair of 8s.
    • And she has quite the hourglass figure. Though some may say it's more of a figure eight.
    • Not to mention the 'o' in her name isn't colored, meaning it's a black circle (or ball) surrounded by green.
  • Satellite Character: Almost all of her appearances in the story are directly tied to Slick and their Foe Yay.
  • Slap-Slap-Kiss: With Spades Slick. It's more like Dismember, Maim, Kiss, but you get the idea.
  • The Smurfette Principle: The only female member of The Felt, and the Midnight Crew Intermission story as a whole. The Handmaid and Condesce are also female but they're not so much members of the Felt as they are English's slaves.
  • Star-Spangled Spandex: Occasionally.
  • Revolvers Are Just Better
  • Villain Teleportation: Perhaps one of the best examples.
  • Whip It Good: Uses one. With some help from her revolver, she's able to pull Spades' arm clean off.
  • Wild Card: Like any good Femme Fatale. Although she's a member of the Felt, and constantly tormenting Slick, she still saves his life in the top-of-the-page panels starting here, stabbing fellow Felt member Quarters in the process.
  • Women Are Wiser: Averted, surprisingly; while she's much more intelligent than the male members of the Felt, she doesn't seem to do much besides torment Slick and take advantage of the fact that he can't kill her.


  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: A long, stitched up one right along his face.
  • Healing... Voodoo?: The main use for his ability as described below. He can do the classic reverse, though.
  • Improbable Weapon User: While he stays away from fights he has the ability to damage effigies and thus the people they represent. When the Felt take on Jake, Stitch wields one as a blunt weapon and knocks the boy off his feet.
  • The Medic: Or rather, The Tailor. His primary job is to make sure Lord English's CAIRO OVERCOAT is in good condition. He can also create effigies of people using their spare hats, thus providing medical aid by proxy of sewing their effigy back together.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Always with a downturned lip.
  • Punny Name: "A Stitch in time saves Nine". Also said to be good at repairing things, or "stitching them back together."
  • The Stoic: He doesn't get involved in shenanigans, not even as a Straight Man ala Crowbar.
  • Voodoo Doll: He creates effigies, which are representations of people depending on the hats put on them. The effigies reflect real life injuries sustained on the people they represent, and vice versa. He can heal injuries by stitching tears on the effigies, or cause injuries by ripping at them. Also, if the person that the effigy represents dies, it'll burn up and become scorched.


  • Fat Bastard: Not the largest of the group, but he is still really stocky.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: He takes an extraordinary amount of abuse from Spades Slick. It's indicated that his corpulence prevented him from being killed by the attacks.
  • Kevlard: See above.
  • Off with His Head!: Happens to two different versions of him in one go, thanks to time-shenanigans.
  • Punny Name: A slang term for 10 dollar bills.
  • Rasputinian Death: Stabbed twice, slashed, stuffed in a WRATHTUB, followed by a WAR CHEST, shot several times, stabbed twice more, unstabbed, and finally decapitated.
  • Stout Strength: Even the largest of blades leaves Only a Flesh Wound.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Sawbuck's time power is the ability to teleport himself (and those surrounding him) to a random point in the timeline. Given that it's entirely unpredictable, only activates when he gets hurt, and takes whoever hurt him along for the ride, its pretty much useless.
    • It's possible most wounds fail to faze him not because of his corpulence, but because he teleports as soon as the wound's registered, thus halting the blow at entry point. It would also normally be effective against anyone who didn't want to get randomly teleported through time (which would be most people); it only fails to protect him against Spades Slick because Spades is too determined to kill him to care about the difficulties involved.


  • All There in the Manual: Matchsticks' power, revealed by Hussie's formspring: he can use fires as a gateway to different points in time.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Appeared in all of a single panel during the intermission before showing up in Doc Scratch's mansion over a year and a half later.
  • Emergency Services: Doc Scratch calls him in to extinguish the fire Spades Slick started in the mansion, suggesting Matchsticks may be The Felt's specialist in such work.
  • Literal Metaphor: When asking "Where's the fire," he's referring to a literal fire he can deal with, rather than Crowbar's speed as he rounded a corner and bumped into him.
  • Me's a Crowd: This will happen if he doesn't put the flames he travels through out.
  • Posthumous Character: During the intermission, at least. He's since been glimpsed, apparently alive and well, in Doc Scratch's mansion. However, whether he's Back from the Dead, was Not Quite Dead in the first place, summoned from the past in a Stable Time Loop, or is a doppelganger from an alternate timeline summoned into this one, has yet to be explained or may not be at all.
  • Punny Name: A pair of matchsticks resembles the number 11. Also, 'matchsticks' has eleven letters. It also alludes to his fire-based powers.
  • Thinking Up Portals: Played with. He can create and use fire to travel through time.


  • Bumbling Henchman Duo: Always found together with Biscuits, and both are completely brainless, as they don't understand how their powers work. Eggs is sometimes accidentally effective by misusing his powers to create a massive amount of clones of himself.
  • Dumb Muscle: Spades describes him and Biscuits as dangerous morons, especially considering the fact that Eggs uses his powers willy-nilly to cause hundreds of alternate timeline copies himself to converge into a single point in time.
  • Edible Theme Naming: Eggs. He's one of the only two members of the Felt with food-based names, the other one being Biscuits, whom he partners with.
  • Help Yourself in the Future/Me's a Crowd: Eggs can use his egg timer to travel back in time by increments of up to one hour. He uses this ability to create alternate timeline copies of himself to aid in battle. He also can do this to multiply Biscuits, by taking Biscuits's oven back with him, as seen in his first appearance.
  • Off with His Head!: Hearts Boxcars eats it.
  • Punny Name: Eggs are sold in packages of a dozen. His name also alludes to the egg timer which is the source of his power. Eggs are also edible.


  • Bigger on the Inside/Heart Is an Awesome Power: His oven doesn't have any time powers, true... it has space powers — he can fit the entire gang inside of it plus a few people.
  • Bumbling Henchman Duo: Always found together with Eggs, and while both are completely brainless, he's the dumber of the two, and doesn't even have time powers.
  • Chekhov's Gun: The oven that occasionally shows up in the story and is constantly put down as useless ends up being the juju that saves the entire Felt.
  • Dumb Muscle: Spades describes him and Eggs as dangerous morons. Biscuits also thinks setting his oven timer and jumping out of the oven when it buzzes counts as time traveling into the future.
    • If you want to get technical, he's not incorrect.
  • Edible Theme Naming: Biscuits. He's one of the only two members of the Felt with food-based names, the other one being Eggs, whom he partners with.
  • Me's a Crowd: When he teams up with Eggs.
  • Punny Name: A "baker's dozen" is 13.
  • Shout-Out: Fans have noticed that when he combines his oven "power" with Eggs's power to travel into the past, it acts a lot like the time-travel method used in Primer. Box-shaped "time travel" device included.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Biscuits' "time power" is essentially to hide in a broken oven until the timer buzzes. Crowbar's namesake isn't even able to affect the oven because there's no "time powers" to affect.


  • All There in the Manual: Andrew Hussie revealed the extent of his powers on his Formspring.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Literally! Merely hinted at in the Intermission, Quarters finally makes his first appearance years later. And the first thing he does? Turn Spades Slick to Swiss cheese with a gatling gun.
  • Gatling Good: Carries around a minigun which he uses to kill Spades Slick.
  • Hero Killer: Filled Spades Slick with bullets momentarily, but Snowman fixed that, subverting this.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: By Snowman, of all people.
  • Jerkass: Caliborn's description of him after unlocking him implies he's one of the meaner members of The Felt.
  • Lean and Mean: He's very tall and thin compared to a majority of the cast.
  • Meaningful Name: He is summoned by flipping a special quarter. He also tags out in-story with one Clover, who is number four.
  • Posthumous Character: Within the scope of the intermission, though he shows up later. Mind, we only have Slick's word that he definitively killed Quarters before the intermission began.
  • Punny Name: "Quatorze", French for 14. Alternatively, a quarter = 1/4. Quarters (as in coins) are also the basis of his powers.
  • Summon Magic: Provides each Felt member with a quarter with their number and the number of another Felt member on each side that they can flip when they're in trouble. If it lands on their number, they die. If it lands on the other Felt's number, they swap places with each other. He gives Clover the coin with his and Quarters' number on it, because Clover's luck is so good the coin would never land on his number. It is "considered unwise" to let Snowman to handle her own coin — both sides are eights.note 
  • Tag Team: Summoned by Clover to help deal with Spades Slick.
  • Wrench Whack: When fighting Jake, Quarters is seen wielding a wrench as a melee weapon.
  • Younger Than They Look: Quarters is the second youngest member of the Felt, but his massive size and aggression make it hard to appreciate, especially when compared to the hyperactive Itchy.


  • Beyond the Impossible: He punches (or "clocks") people through time and later, he punches a character out of the panel they're in, forcing them to land on a different panel, which Cans respond to by jumping on the panel.
  • The Brute: When The Felt needs muscle to take out the trash, they know who to call. They call Cans, and he runs through a solid brick wall.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: On the delivering end for the Midnight Crew.
  • The Dreaded: The only member of the Felt that the Midnight Crew truly seems to fear. Even Diamonds Droog comments that he "prays to God" it's not him when he hears him try to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
  • Fingerless Gloves: He's the only member of the Felt who wears these.
  • Frame Break: Cans clocking powers allow him to punch characters out of panels into the default background of MS Paint Adventures. This escalates in "Collide," where his powers have him chasing Arquius across multiple panels until they start fighting on top of one!
  • Giant Mook: Holy shit. Most of the Felt are barely bigger than a person, but cans is more like the size of a small house! This is what endears him to Caliborn most of all, even before Caliborn sees his brute strength in action.
  • Hero Killer: To the Midnight Crew, who were clearly afraid of him showing up. During the Intermission Cans was more effective than the rest of the mooks combined, notably curbstomping DD and HB immediately after his debut. He is only defeated when Slick goes to a timeline where he is already dead.
  • The Juggernaut: Easily plows through almost all enemies he's been seen fighting.
  • Lightning Bruiser: In addition to his incredible strength, Cans will almost immediately run in when called and he can take attacks from known powerhouses like Dad Crocker. He practically has no Necessary Drawback, and is only defeated by sheer fatherly willpower.
  • Megaton Punch: He can not only punch you into next week, but into an entirely different calendar. Literally.
  • Nigh-Invulnerable: Cans has only been killed on one occasion, unlike most people, due to some time distortion. Outside of that, nothing has really dented him besides the combined power of Arquiusprite and Dad Crocker.
  • Not Hyperbole: Punches people through calendar days. As in, he punches them out of the panel they're in, into a calendar.
  • Punny Name: "Quinze," French for 15, reflecting his role as Number 15 of the Felt.
  • There Was a Door: In correspondence with his red hat and his vast size, Cans tends to run through these with a spare Kool-Aid Man reference never far off.
    It sounds suspiciously like Cans is about to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style. You pray to God that it is not Cans about to plow through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.

    All of a sudden Cans plows through the wall Kool-Aid Man style.
  • Unsound Effect: Whenever he punches someone: CLOCK!

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