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Pantheon / Personal Appearance

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Personal Appearance and Equipment

Like the House of Defense, this house is perhaps less official than the others - many deities are affiliated with it, but very few stay here exclusively. Not a lot of Gods enjoy thinking that they're here solely because of a mustache. The common opinion of visitors is that this is a House for the vainest of the vain, where Gods spend all of their time preening and fussing over their features. In truth - well, some do exactly that. Others barely notice or care what they look like, and barely visit at all.

The most striking thing about this house is the mirrors. Several rooms have mirrored walls, ceilings, and floors, which can be disorienting. Visitors often have to be rescued after wandering around in a daze. Other rooms have spas, parlors, dressing rooms, and the like. This House is connected to both Houses of Love and Theatre and Spectacle. Additionally, this House is also connected to the House of Profession, for those Gods about having a profession and looking attractive at it.


As Snow White is a Princesses of Heart, security here is tight, so any attempts to capture her or use her to recreate the χ-blade will result in a temporary ban from the House.

Due to the large amount of deities, this house has been split into the following divisions:

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The Apathetic Guardians of Figure

    Alex Louis Armstrong 
Alex Louis Armstrong, God of Muscles (Major Armstrong, The Strongarm Alchemist)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His shirtless, sparkling body
  • Theme Song: The Amestris Military March has been passed down through the Armstrong Line for Generations!
  • Alignment: Lawful Good
  • Portfolio: Boisterousness, Hamminess, Sparkling Great Muscles Shown Nearly All the Time, Major, Manly Tears, Gentle Giant, ALL PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!
  • Domains: Army, Muscles, War, Alchemy
  • Herald: Sig Curtis
  • Followers: James Vega, Super Macho Man, Lex Luger
  • Allies:
  • Friendly Rival: Selena Recital
  • Special relationship with: Olivier Mira Armstrong (his sister)
  • Enemies: Sloth, Father Homunculus, Führer King Bradley, Dante of the Deep Forest, Lust, Gluttony, Pride, Envy
  • Slightly annoys: Gowasu
  • Unknown Relationship: Senator Steven Armstrong
  • A very muscular and hammy Strong Arm Alchemist and Major in the Amestrian military, Alex Armstrong specializes in over-the-top manliness, hand-to-hand combat, kinetic force alchemy, and having a conscience.
  • Tends to flip away his shirt and shows off his muscles. Despite this annoying tendency, Armstrong is a well-respected man whenever he goes serious.
  • He was once tasked to take part in the Ishvalan genocide. He and his oldest sister consider this his most shameful moment in life — not because he killed innocent people, but because when his conscience ultimately horrified him mid-mission, instead of joining the many who stayed in the fight and turned against their masters he turned tail and ran from the whole thing entirely. His sister has been particularly merciless about this, refusing to consider him a man and seeing his desertion of the battlefield as an act of cowardice.
  • He rivals with Selena in bouncing off their body (Selena on her boobs, Armstrong on his muscles). They're never seen doing this at the same time.
  • Respects Bang Shishigami well due to his dedication for justice and because he's a fun guy to have around. Of course, he still can't beat the mighty muscles of Alex which have been PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!
  • Frequently works out together with Hulk Hogan, a man who has inspired him a lot throughout his life.
  • With Father now ascending, Alex is preparing to recruit some skilled people who aren't Alchemists into a support unit linked to the Amestris army in case the Homunculi attempt to strike again.
  • Currently, it is unknown what his opinion is regarding the newly-arisen Senator Steven Armstrong, who may or may not be a distant relative of the Armstrong line. Most likely not.
  • Is a member of a stable group called the Mighty Majors, along with Edward Elric.
  • Is sometimes easily mistaken as the God called Braum due to their awesome mustaches and muscles. However, even if Armstrong respects Braum's protective instinct, the shiny muscles PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!! are definitely what makes him keep the position. He hopes Braum's milk, which he refers to be "Passed Down Through The Avarosan Clan For Generations" will taste just as great.
  • When news of the ascension of Olivier Mira Armstrong reached Alex's ears, his reaction was a combination of nervous glee, as he is both happy to see his sister and somewhat terrified of her — especially given her cold contempt towards him in earlier times. Surprisingly, she gave him a hearty salute upon receiving his congratulatory visit, having moreso come to terms with him as a man to be respected after their fight with Sloth.
  • Has noticed that an older god who recently came into the Pantheon seems to get a bit edgy at his presence.
  • With the Homunculi girding up their forces, including a new High Command assembled by King Bradley, Armstrong is stepping up his training in anticipation for the coming battles. His most frequent training partner is Guile, who recently joined the Mighty Majors and was a part of the team that investigated the surfacing of Bradley's barracks in the Pantheon.
  • Was extremely glad to see that Mustang had successfully gotten Hughes ascended in the Pantheon, tearing his shirt off and trying to place Hughes in a bone-crushing hug to celebrate. Hughes quietly sidestepped him, allowing him to tumble over. After picking himself up, he settled for a handshake.
  • Upon first encountering the Ultra Beast Buzzwole, Major Armstrong did battle with it. The pair initially duked it out in an old-fashioned boxing match... before devolving into a flexing contest. After that the two grew to respect each other, eventually becoming certified partners. Most of Armstrong's allies have had mixed feelings towards the Swollen Pokémon's presence but Colonel Mustang doesn't seem to mind; the more allies they have against King Bradley's High Command the better.

    Professor X/Charles Xavier 
Charles Francis Xavier, God of Bald Psychics (Professor X, Prisoner M-13, Onslaught, Charley, Chuck, Charlie, The Good Shepherd, Bald Phoenix, "Telepathic Mahatma Gandhi of the Mutant Cause", Dr. X, Proud Task-master, Task-master, X)

Igor, God of Creepy Goodness (Master of the Velvet Room, The Nose)

Rapunzel, Goddess of Girls With Very Long Hair (Princess Rapunzel, Blondie, Flower)

Ambiguous Ranks

    Mitch Conner 
Mitchell "Mitch" Conner, God of Hands as Puppets (Hennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez, Mr. Crime-syndicate-kingpin-guy)
  • Unknown, some think he is a Quasideity while others think he is more than meets the eye
  • Symbol: Himself.
  • Alignment: True Neutral. Neutral Evil in South Park: The Fractured but Whole
  • Portfolio: Con Artist, Maybe real or Maybe a fabrication by Cartman, Consulting Mister Puppet
  • Domains: Hands, Alter Egos, Conning, Crime, Evil
  • Allies: Eric Cartman, Randy Marsh, Arnold Wesker and Scarface, Ethan Roark Sr., Frank Underwood, The Kingpin, Shub-Niggurath
  • Rivals: Slappy the Dummy
  • Enemies: The New Kid, Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Yoshino Himekawa, The House of Felines
  • Unknown Connection: Vietnam War Veterans
  • Opposes: The House of Fathers and Mothers
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Butters Stotch (Allies with his Professor Chaos Persona)
  • It started with what initially seemed to be another of Eric Cartman's elaborated pranks turned out to be far more unexpected to the Pantheonic deities that day as he was found in the House of Music doing what can be described as a ventriloquist imitation of Jennifer Lopez but it turned out that the entity behind the whole thing was a supposed Con Artist named Mitch Conner, who happens to be Cartman's left hand but he managed to avoid capture by "taking" Cartman and a few other deities hostage. He was caught later and then he presented himself to the Court of Gods to explain who he was which somehow convinced them to make Mitch an entire separate temple for himself by holding the title of Bare-Handed Puppetry.
  • Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes once they heard about Mitch Conner's arrival to the Pantheon, as they believe that this is just yet another of Cartman's ploys but to their surprise, several other deities have spotted Mitch elsewhere without Cartman being present at all, making several wonder if he is indeed a sentient being outside of Cartman or if Cartman is that dedicated to keeping up the façade.
  • Mitch and Cartman's relationship is sometimes similar to how the Ventriloquist work with his dummy Scarface. Wesker seems to be under the belief that like Scarface, Mitch is his own entity and he stated he has never seen Cartman participate in the meetings he had with Conner. But then again, this is The Ventriloquist we are talking about.
  • Apparently fought in the Vietnam War and after that he decided to Walk the Earth. Those who have been part of said war don't recall having ever seen Mitch and specially no hand with lipstick fighting alongside them. Old Man Henderson, on the other hand, can vividly recall a gruelling, bloody battle where he and Mitch were the only members of their squad to survive. Henderson definitely wasn't in the Vietnam War due to only being 12 years old at the time, and yet Mitch has told the exact same story, beat for beat, despite having no known interaction with Henderson since his ascension.
  • Yoshino Himekawa heavily dislikes Mitch for being mean to her and Yoshinon, Mitch takes a somewhat sadistic pleasure in messing with her and telling her Yoshinon isn't real. Some of her friends hate Mitch in return and actually believe this is Cartman's way to troll Yoshino for her meek attitude but in a weird turn of events she believes Mitch is an actual person (Nevermind that she hates being told Yoshinon is not real)
  • Not many of the ascended puppet or doll deities seem to like Mitch, mostly for how much of a Wild Card he is. The only one he has some sort of "positive" relationship would be Slappy the Dummy and even him find him too unreliable for an ally.
  • By far he is the most antagonistic deity towards the New Kid, not only because Mitch was shown as his worst there but also he kidnapped the Kid's parents in order to replicate their power and even if he was unsuccesful he still forced the kid to kill one of them. Nevertheless, Mitch's plan for becoming a powerful political figure remains but he is a lot more subdued in his approach, being aware that there a deities capable of knowing what he is up to.
  • Like mentioned before, Mitch still intends to become mayor of South Park one way or another and he found two powerful allies that could allow him to reach said position. Both Ethan Roark Sr. and Frank Underwood found Mitch to be quite an unconventional ally (especially because they didn't buy Cartman's act at all) but given how persuasive he was, they agreed to help out Mitch if it meant more power to them. Mitch was also able to convince Wilson Fisk to finance his new campaign, apparently he was convincing enough considering Fisk was able to praise Mitch (or rather Cartman, he also doesn't buy his act) to fool an entire town.
  • Mitch has certainly no shortage of enemies, especially those he ended up using as pawns like Professor Chaos (Butters' villainous persona, although for certain reasons he tries to not use it if the Grand Alliances get involved). However, his connections to the South Park police department and their illegal activities, namely the abduction of black people to feed the outer goddess Shub-Niggurath, Mitch somehow managed to keep her as an ally, easily making the con man one of the most unusually dangerous deities for that reason alone. Some are not surprised by this, considering Cartman is friends with Cthulhu and Mitch, according to himself anyway, is a much better schemer than his fat puppetmaster.
  • Mitch uses cats, or rather their piss, as a drug to fool people into following him. And because he kidnaps cats a lot, he quickly became a Persona non Grata among feline deities who don't want to be harnessed for their urine. Though Mitch is glad that they tend to target Eric instead of him.
  • He too has a Freudian Excuse and just like the New Kid, he had a parent who was fucked, in his case his father. That's why he fooled the entire world by pretending he was Jennifer Lopez, defying time and space to declare Christmas every day and even killing people. He did not know the identity of the person who had fucked his father, so he decided to wipe out everyone just to make sure he got his revenge. When his estranged mother stepped forward and revealed that she was the one who fucked his father, Mitch snapped and attacked his mother, with both of them killing the other in the ensuing fight. That's why he despises the House of Family and all the parents there, as they could enable another monster like him.
  • For the record, this temple officially belongs to Eric Cartman. The Court of Gods is in no way sure if Mitch Conner is even real but they don't have any way to prove otherwise.
  • May have some minor reality warping abilities, as anyone who engages him in direct combat will find that his attacks sometimes inflict status effects while their own attacks sometimes harmlessly bounce off him, seemingly for no reason other than he decrees it to be so. It takes the mind of a powerful psychic to prevent him from using this ability.

    The Slender Man 

The Slender Man, The Unknowable Anomaly (Slenderman, and its various nicknames: , The Operator, The Administrator, the Keeper, the Black King, onedividedbyzero, Der Großmann, The Tall Man, Gorr'Rylaehotep, The Ajax Monster, The Man in the Suit, the legendary Slendaddy)


The Wobblers, the Goggly Eyed Gods (Units)
A blue Wobbler
  • Varying Ranks, the weakest is Demigod and the strongest is Intermediate Gods.
  • Symbol: Their own face.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Portifolio: Comedic Goggly Eyes, Lovingly Satires Strategy Games, Color-Coded Armies, Game Is Buggy and Broken On Purpose, Bloodless Carnage, Hilarious Bugginess, Fantasy Kitchen Sink, Ragdoll Physics, Their Gender Is "Wobbler"
  • Domains: Strategy, Eyes, Colors, Comedy, War
  • Allies: The Worms, The Rock of Ages, The Goat, The Goose
  • Enemies: Bazelgeuse
  • Frequent Spectators: Vinny, Vanoss and Delirious
  • Embarrassed by: The Yooks and Zooks
  • The humble Wobbler is a strange, red or blue humanoid creature most notable for their comically derpy eyes, though they're often fond of equipping other pieces of clothing. If anyone is to stumble upon these creatures, they'll often be engaging in warfare with their opposite colored selves, fighting each other in often silly and outlandish wars that involve a lot of flying bodies and corpses. No one's really sure why they do this, as questioning them why would often be answered by a series of random mumblings. Sometimes, they mix it up with other games, such as Zombie Survival or Battle Royals. Nonetheless, many have spectated their wars because of their unexpected entertainment value, something the armies happily welcome.
  • Nobody is really sure how the Wobblers came across the Pantheon, as they just suddenly started appearing around the place and engaging in warfare, which, while normally harmless by Pantheon standards, could still cause a bit of collateral damage. The closest thing to an answer they could get was that one was somehow launched all the way from a battlefield into the Pantheon, with the others following behind and taking a liking to the place. Eventually, The Court of the Gods decided to do something about it, eventually managing to come to a compromise with the fanciest looking one: they can join the Pantheon and rage war as much as they like, as long as they mind where exactly they're fighting as to avoid collateral damage. After they agreed to it, the Court decided to give them the title of Goggly Eyes, thanks to their notably distracting eyes that nearly all of them sported.
  • It should be noted about their general units is that not only are there a large and varied amount of them, they're also notably really weird. Listing them all one at a time would take longer than necessary, however, so thankfully they can be categorized by the following:
    • The Tribal faction are composed of more primitive units, often relying on stick and stones, alongside the occasional tribal magic and Mammoths.
    • The Farmer faction are composed of, well, farmers and farm-related units, using equipment to battle their foes. While usually outclassed, they can be deadly in the right hands.
    • The Medieval faction are composed of the typical knights and kings you'd expect from the medieval days. Sadly, no dragons are among their ranks.
    • The Ancient faction are a combination of Greek and Rome armies and mythologies, containing such units as spearmen, Minotaurs and even (A version of) Zeus himself.
    • The Viking faction is composed of vicious Vikings, and are nearly all melee orientated, with a healthy dose of An Ice Person.
    • The Dynasty faction is a mish-mash of various Asian cultures, meaning that Samurai, Ninja, Monks, and even The Monkey King are on the same team. This faction also has an actual dragon as well, though wether it's real or fake is a mystery.
    • The Renaissance faction are all themed off of various things from the Renaissance Era, such as Fencers, Painters and jousters. They even have Da Vinci's tank.
    • The Pirate faction... Do we even need to tell you what this consists of?
    • The Spooky faction consists of various undead units, mostly consisting of various skeletons, but also has Vampires and Candleheads among its ranks.
    • The Wild West faction has various cowboys specializing in ranged weaponry, often shooting them in ridiculous ways. And a guy in a Cactus suit.
    • The Legacy faction consists of the units present in the earliest battles, categorized here because of them being very unique compared to the others.
    • The Secret faction contains basically whatever the developers thought would be Fun. Among them are Cheerleaders, Christmas Elves, Bank Robbers, Teachers, and numerous others. More often or not, they'll either be Joke Characters or Game Breakers.
  • As a result of the compromise, the Wobblers had to be a bit more mindful of where they fight, adopting a list of where it was safe to fight for remembering. Even then, the battles have been as frequent as they used to be, and if you were to encounter a Wobbler, chances are they're in the middle of a battle (Or have been launched out of the battlefield). The armies also welcome spectators, seeing how common they were a common sight back when they were in their world. A good few of the more war loving gods often find these scuffles a guilty pleasure, so an audience spectating the carnage isn't uncommon.
  • One such audience is The Worms, a group of worms who also engage in equally silly, if somewhat more tactical, wars on a regular basis. Seeing how silly their wars can get, they find the Wobblers scuffles to be an absolute riot, and they often come over to view the battles on their off-time. The Worms themselves get plenty of admiration from the Wobblers as well, mostly for their impressively wacky arsenal of weapons. On a few occasions, the two armies can be seen borrowing weapons from each other, often accompanied by loads of unintelligible mumbling.
  • Upon hearing of the legends of The Rock of Ages, specifically how it was apparently used in every historical war by rolling it down a hill, The Wobblers thought it would be a fun idea to use it in one of their battles, and so went searching for this mythical rock. Upon locating the sentient bolder (Which was much easier than initially expected), they promptly wasted no time rolling the thing down a hill into their enemies, a tactic that they found to be immensely entertaining. Adding to the fun was that the other side eventually wised up and found the Rocks heralds, fellow Rocks, and started rolling them down a hill as well. Long story short, it was a fun day for all parties involved. Since then, the Rock remains more than happy to assist the armies in their wars.
  • One time, The Wobblers stumbled upon the Yooks and Zooks, a race of bird-like creatures perpetually in an escalating war. Both sides, having heard of The Wobblers and their exploits, managed to contract the Red and Blue Wobblers, asking for their aid in battle, which the Wobblers, no stranger to random warfare, accepted, thinking it would be a nice change of pace. At first, they found the Yooks and Zooks promising, considering their strange but destructive weaponry, up to the point that they have what is essentially a bean sized warhead, but it soon came crashing down once they learned exactly why they were fighting: they couldn't agree on how they butter their bread. As soon as they heard the reasoning, they all promptly made their leave, the Wobblers agreeing that even by their standards, that's a pretty stupid reason to fight. By the way, if anyone's wondering, they prefer Butter-side up.
  • One day, the Wobblers were having a typical fight against each other (Well, as typical as you can call a Teacher fighting a Mammoth that), when all of a sudden they were attacked by the infamous Bazelgeuse out of nowhere. In the span of 5 minutes, the army soon found themselves in the most intense fight of their lives, with the dragon managing to kill a massive amount of their units, even being able to take out a Super Peasant. Thankfully, a few more Super Peasants and a Chicken Man-Man later, and they were able to make the monster flee, clearly not expecting a giant that spawns men that also spawn homing chickens. The Wobblers have opposed the beast ever since then, calling the thing rude for interrupting their battles.
  • As one might guess from a game focused around derpy funny-eyed things subject to Artificial Stupidity fighting to the death, their home game is relatively popular with streamers and youtubers. Naturally, many ascended content creators have come to witness their carnage in person, mostly for the oddly appealing niche of seeing a game unfold in real life. One notable pair is friends Vanossgaming and H20 Delirious, who've played the game together and competed against each other via betting on who would win, made trickier thanks to the games unpredictable nature. As such, they come to spectate from time to time, again taking bets on who would win.
    • On the streamer side of things, Vinny of Vinesauce fame has streamed the game and got a good laugh out of it, again for fairly obvious reasons. What makes Vinny notable amongst them however is the fact that he has also streamed a number of games that follow the same concept as TABS, such as Ultimate Epc Battle Simulator, a game that sacrifices the rag doll physics in favor of even more units on screen. The Wobblers are naturally fascinated by the idea of more of them elsewhere, and Vinny is usually happy to share details with them about the other games.
  • Much to the dismay of basically everyone with sanity, The Wobblers have made friends with Pilgor the Goat, a being infamous for being even buggier and wonkier than the Wobblers. The armies, naturally finding her glitchy nature hilarious, have invited Pilgor to their battles. She doesn't join often, but when she does, the chaotic nature of the battles often goes Up to Eleven, with Wobblers being sent flying farther than ever before, jetpacks flying everywhere, and a photorealistic T Rex killing numerous naked blue humanoids. The Wobblers, being Wobblers, only find this even more hilarious. And yes, if anyone is wondering, they are also aware of The Goose, and while it's happy to hang around, it never actually participates in their warfare. It's just a goose, after all.
  • Sometimes, The Wobblers like to mix things up, since as much fun as they have with their wars, sometimes even that can get boring after a while. In case of that, they turn the war into a Battle Royale Game of all things, complete with about a hundred Wobblers dropping into a huge map and duking it out with guns. The main catch here is that not only are there numerous buffs and nerfs known as "Blessings and Curses" one can acquire to either assist or hinder their game, but also a huge amount of weapon attachments one can slap on their collected guns. As usual, Hilarity Ensues. The competitors of the Battle Royale Game Fortnite, while also just as confused as most people are, find them and their games honestly hilarious, and are more than happy to watch a game unfold, at times even offering to teach the Wobblers how to properly handle recoil, much to the appreciation of the armies, who handle recoil very poorly.

Alternative Title(s): Eye Quantity, Hair Abilities


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