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Funny / Civvie 11

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  • Civvie leaves editing duties to Katie for his video on Hatred. Since the game's violence would get him demonetized hard, Civvie has Katie recolour as much of the blood green as she can. As a form of revolt, Katie at points gets a little...creative with the audio.
    Civvie: Katie, you don't have a problem with this, right? I'm a- hack- that sucks- at Blood.
    Civvie: I like to- SEARCH- Roblox- pornography.
    Civvie: One time I- took some drugs- and- banged- my sister.
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  • Civvie's constant disdain for every single character in Starship Titanic is wonderful.
    Civvie: So now I need to get a flock of pureed starlings, and if you think that's as simple as running some birds through a fan, oh my sweet summer children.
  • Vivisector has him versus how the game handles scripted deaths by explosion. Specifically the part where he turns God Mode on.
  • Every time he goes on a tirade against Randy Pitchford, especially this bit in his first Pro Duke Nukem video.
  • Civvie has a couple of friendly nods to hyperintelligent alien in a person suit John Carmack.
    • The first is in Pro Doom where he points how an older John Carmack is making almost the exact same devious smirk expression in one photo as his younger self in older one.
    Civvie: How does he have that same face?!
  • A couple of highlights in his Pro Doom 2 video:
    Civvie: ...there is a much darker timeline where he kills us all.
    • When a horde of Imps corners him in his least favourite level, The Factory, Civvie decides to go back to his Pro Wang instincts. Just imagine the BFG as the Nuke Launcher.
    Civvie: Step right up, step right up, we're doing the Pro Wang Nuke thing this time in the future, with a BIG! FUCKING! GUN!
    • He has folder dossiers on every enemy Doom 2 introduces...except the hidden Nazi SS troopers.
    Civvie: We got Nahtzees, kiddos! Nazis aren't getting their own folder, fuck them, they're Nazis. I am not leaving this level 'til I see one hundred dead Nazis!
  • For his Pro Doom: Plutonia video:
    • Civvie has a whale of a time doing a Pro episode on Plutonia Experiment, the second half of Final Doom, infamous for being Harder Than Hard. Naturally he also takes time to congratulate and take pity on anyone who pistol started each and every level of Plutonia on Ultra Violence level, and that they deserve a sexy cosplayer's full attention (even funnier is that Civvie used a pic of a Shuten-Douji cosplayer to demonstrate, probably at random:)
      Civvie: Ghost Town is the first 100% full on Plutonia map. God help the masochistic bastards who pistol start these levels, I hope you go to Quakecon next year, you go up to like the hottest cosplay chick you can find, you get right in their ear and say "I pistol started all of Plutonia on Ultra Violence," and she jumps on your dick right there.
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    • Civvie ends up inadvertantly winning more glory while fighting Revenants with his rocket launcher. (For those wondering, Doom monsters usually have infinite collision height unless certain source port flags are changed.)
      Civvie: Suck my infinitely tall shaft of splash damage, ya fuckin' boners! (Disco music starts playing) Oh what's that? I'm being told that we just won the "Most Phallic Line Ever In A Youtube Show" Award? I'm also being told that that's a thing and yeah! (Trophy slides on screen, its as phallic as suggested to the point its censored.) Look at that! I guess you guys can't see that but I promise you its shaped like a penis!
    • The ending text for Plutonia states that now that Doomguy's thrashed Hell again, its gone back to "pounding bad dead folks instead of good live ones." Civvie asks Katie for a pic of a demon banging Adolf Hitler. Naturally he instead gets a graphic of some cute kittens with the caption "NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO." Civvie concedes.
    • The very first line is "Playing Plutonia is like being inside a Wicker Man." With accompanying footage of the film's protagonist praying for his soul to go to Heaven as he's about to burn alive.
  • For Pro-Ish Doom 64, Civvie points out how the game has more Hell levels than techbase ones unlike previous games, allowing for Midway to cram as much mega-edgy level names as they could.
    Civvie: Next up, "The Bleeding." [beat] The Bleeding. Most of this game takes place in Hell which is a nice change of pace and an opportunity to cram as many ridiculous map titles in there as possible. We've got such hits as:
    Demon voice Civvie: Terror Core. Altar of Pain. Dark Citadel. Dark Entries. Blood Keep. (normal voice) Blood Keep! A Keep of Blood! (demon voice again. John Romero's grinning mug slowly fades into view for these last ones.) Spawned Fear. Burnt Offerings. Unholy Temple.
  • Part of his enjoying the ever loving fuck out of DOOM (2016) is finding all the Slayer Testaments (AKA the Doom Slayer's backstory) and probably the funniest (yet also most awesome) part is when the Testament speaker intones how the Doom Slayer brought down THE OBSIDIAN PILLARS OF THE BLOOD TEMPLES. Civvie has those very bolded words slapped full on screen to show just how unashamedly metal this game is.
    • The Running Gag where any instance of "Doom Slayer" being said out loud causes "BFG Division" to start playing. At one point, Civvie has to start Suddenly SHOUTING! just so he can be heard over the music.
    • He also reunites with the Super Shotgun and just like in Doom 2, it's powerful to the point of being straight up OP. But the first thing he says to it is a sign that fun is about to be had.
      • He has a similar line when he gets to the BFG 9000:
      Civvie: Hey baby. D'you miss me?
    • At one point he finds the hidden helmet and skull of poor Commander Keen and bemoans about how Id Software did indeed massacre that boy, complete with footage from the trailer of the ill-received mobile spinoff. Of course, he concedes that thanks to the bonus level in Doom II, he probably did as well, like a thousand times.
    • When nothing how the Revenants fly now, footage from The Rise of Skywalker is briefly used before Civvie yells out an angry and panicked "NO!"
  • His video on Star Wars Dark Forces starts with the classic Star Wars crawl and MIDI theme...before Civvie demands Katie stop before the Disney Copyright Death Machine gets them.
  • Civvie taking a look at the GTA VI Beta, an obvious fake scam game pretending to be a beta for Grand Theft Auto VI. It starts with the infamous ad that Youtube somehow kept allowing promotion, said ad involving an angry dad destroying his son's PS4, a speech bubble saying "Add Text," several grammatical errors and use of text-to-speech. Said text-to-speech claims that John can't "leave" without GTA5 and his "Peas Four" is broken, like that wasn't already established. Also it promotes itself as an Android port of Grand Theft Auto V but still is apparently an ad for GTAVI. So Civvie tries the beta and what does he get? A decent enough Rockstar logo ident and...stolen footage from Yakuza 6. Then it leads to a bunch of ads and leads to a One Time Verification sequence that never completes. After which Civvie warns Rockstar of this obvious copyright infringement...while asking for $6 million in GTA money and to never have to do the heists again.
  • So how does the Department of Special Corrections solve Civvie's increasingly dangerous high hype levels for DOOM Eternal? Why, bring back a certain pinnacle of entertainment software, of course! Cue Witchaven.
    • It seems nowadays William Shatner's Tekwar was so bad Civvie can't say the name without retching.
    • The fact that the backstory has the evil witch Illwhyrin bring down a sect of mages by taking advantage of one's lust. In other words, "she made a dude thirst."
    • The Willowisps take levels away. Civvie's response is as simple as it is gutbusting.
    Civvie: (upon seeing that a level was drained from his character)...WHAT THE FUCK?!
    • At least two monsters have some breasts for some ungodly reason. As Civvie puts it:
    Civvie: Capstone: The Pinnacle of Monster Titties!
    • At one point Civvie sees how the fire ball spell, usually useless, has splash damage that lasts longer than the animation. Naturally its time for Capstone to get another flogging.
    Civvie: Yanno its always fucking something isn't it?! Capstone, The Pinnacle Of ITS ALWAYS FUCKING SOMETHING!
    • Civvie had a whole new super powered gaming rig for Doom Eternal ready. The specs include a video card with 320gb of VRAM, a cooling system used in fission reactors, a cursed runic stone from the ruins of Sala'Kan'Tar and a processor with a power supply fuelled by strands of John Romero's hair, and the entire thing is somehow bleeding. But its got all the teraflops!
    • Civvie's depiction of the hypothetical phone conversation where Ken Silverman (creator of the Build Engine, depicted with a grossly oversized forehead and telekinetic abilities) was asked to license the Build engine by Capstone (depicted by a stock image of a clown).
    Civvie!Clown: Oh, we wanna make an action-RPG like no one's eva done, but also we made Operation: Body Count! *clown honks*
    Civvie!Ken: Uh... yea, y'know what, hold on. I have another call. *Ken telekinetically switches calls*
    Duke Nukem: I've got balls of steel!
    (Beat, Ken switches back his call with Capstone)
    Civvie!Ken: Oh, and, by the way, how's that William Shatner game going?
    (The Capstone clown starts vomiting out a stream of diarrhea, which goes into the phone and comes out the other end into Ken's face)
  • His video on Rise of the Triad introduces us to THE DEVELOPERS OF INCREDIBLE POWER among other things.
    • At one point he notes how the credits state that Taradino Cassatt, one of the game's playable characters, is said to look like American TV actor Richard Mulligan, which Civvie considers a "boomer-ass reference." Later on in the review as Civvie points out the distressing alarm that plays when you're low on health, AX3 and H4MM3R do a little boomer-ass reference of their own...
    AX3: What's that noise? Is there a fire?
    H4MM3R: Yeah, the show's going down in flames. Let's get out of here!
    Both robots: Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
    Civvie: What the fuck was in that eggnog loaf?
    H4MM3R: This is a boomer-ass reference, Civvie.
    • Civvie complains about the weird obtuse secret exits placed in one of the game's later maps, courtesy of Tom Hall. So...Explanation 
    Civvie: Man I wish I had footage of Gordon Ramsay yelling at Tom Hall, that would just be amazing. (beat)
    Gordon Fucking Ramsay: C'mon, you can do better than that!!
    Tom Hall: I just, I thought-
    Gordon Fucking Ramsay: You THOUGHT?! F**k off and think again, will you?1
    Tom Hall: Y-y-y-yes chef!
    Civvie: Its a Christmas miracle!

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