For Roy Greenhilt, see The Order of the Stick.
Class: Wizard (illusionist)
Alignment: Lawful Good (at time of death)
Roy's rather selfish father who swore a Blood Oath of Vengeance after Xykon killed and zombified his master. He's a condescending asshole to damn near everyone. Dead before the beginning of the story, he pays ghostly visits to his son.
- Abusive Parents: Of the emotional/neglectful variety, mainly, but there's a few hints of others. Most notably, his careless neglect resulted in the death of his infant son, Eric, due to his tinkering with spells, but he refused to try to make up for it aside from resurrection spells or even admit that he'd done anything wrong. Beyond that, he's completely dismissive of Roy, viewing him as either a in-between for Julia to get the Blood Oath of Vengeance or just a means for him to get into heaven. And while he's said to have spoiled Julia, he foolishly believes that her being a wizard automatically makes her more qualified to defeat Xykon, ignoring that she has her own desires and wants in life, and is not suited to the trials and tribulations of an adventurer (getting easily captured by Nale standing out), especially given the personal complexities surrounding the Gates and the people guarding them.
- Accidental Murder: He performed a magical experiment near his young sons, despite Roy's warning that it was dangerous, causing Eric's death in a Magic Misfire at three years old.
- Age-Gap Romance: After dying and no longer being bound by marital oaths, he pursues a relationship with a seemingly young woman named Violet, whom he occasionally brings along when dispensing wisdom from beyond the grave to Roy because it was more convenient (much to Roy's chagrin). However, due to how the afterlife works, this seeming young woman is actually old enough to have adult great-great-grandchildren while he's not.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: A more serious example than what one would believe. His wife Sara figures that this is Eugene's Fatal Flaw. Whenever Eugene sets out a goal, he pursues it with intense determination. Whether it was slaying Xykon, creating new spells or courting Sara, he pursued it devotedly. Sara herself points out that back when his goal was settling down with her, their relationship was a very happy one. Unfortunately, he eventually tires of his current goal and flip-flops to another one, failing to follow through on any of his "projects". Of course this leads to large consequences where he is in a position he cannot leave, such as unable to leave his family and the blood oath he gave to destroy Xykon preventing him entering the Lawful Good heaven. Now that he's dead, the heavenly forces are more or less forcing him to finish what he started, making him bitter and unhappy (well, more than usual).
- Bald of Authority: As seen in the prequels, Eugene led his own party of adventurers to pursue Xykon when he was a much younger man, much like his son.
- Barred from the Afterlife: For failing to fulfill his Blood Oath — not even trying, really. Roy at least tried, which is why he gets to go in and Eugene is stuck until Xykon dies.
- Beyond Redemption: A somewhat downplayed and mundane example in that, while Eugene is not a villain and only a Nominal Hero at best, he is a tremendous Jerkass who is only out for his own motivations. Roy, however, believed at one point that if he could say the perfect one-liner, it would finally cause his father to have a Jerkass Realization. Unfortunately, Eugene's initial refusal to help Roy scry the mortal plane and overall behavior in Heaven firmly proves to Roy that his father does not wish to change, and never will change no matter how much Roy wants it.
- Blood Oath: "I, Eugene Greenhilt, swear on the blood that flows from my wounds this day that I shall not rest, in this life or any other, until I or my heirs have enacted horrible vengeance on those that have slighted me, named here as Xykon the sorcerer." Comes back to bite him in the butt, hard, as he kept pushing off that quest to kill Xykon until he eventually died. Now he's pushing his son Roy towards it — insulting him all the while for being (in Eugene's mind) a Dumb Muscle fighter instead of a wizard like he was.
- Career Versus Family: A rare male example, where he admits to Roy he regrets having had a family and not spending as much time on being a wizard, since he might have killed Xykon by then. Contrasting V who very much misses their mate, having done what Eugene wishes they could do.
- Character Alignment: His nominal alignment is Lawful Good, but this is subject to some discussion in-universe. He is currently waiting for a member of his family to fulfill the Blood Oath he made years ago to slay Xykon; until that time, he is stuck in a limbo-like plane of existence where the deceased go to see which afterlife they are suited for. Based on Roy's judgement, it is implied that he is not really Lawful Good, or rather that he has failed to live up to the responsibilities of his alignment, and had not truly been Lawful Good for several years. The Prequel comic seems to have indicated that he would have been allowed in at the time of his death, but his impatience and inability to do anything has since resulted in an alignment shift (or rather, the fact that he stopped trying to fulfill his oath, even in his last days). In fact, later comics show that he's perfectly willing to let the world be destroyed since Xykon would be destroyed with it and that would technically fulfill his oath.
- Characterization Marches On: His first appearance presents him as a much more affectionate and helpful man than he later proved to be - both dispensing a useful prophecy and complaining that Roy never calls.
- Death Is Cheap: He died and was resurrected six times before finally succumbing to old age.
- Determinator: His wife says that whatever he decides to do he pursues with intense determination, the issue is that what he decides to do changes easily.
- Dirty Old Man: Being dead hasn't stopped him from dating. By his own admission, he's been spying on Haley under the shower.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: He behaves like a concerned father who's invested in his son's life in his first appearance. It's Retconned to him just being impatient and thrusting Roy to kill Xykon.
- Everyone Has Standards: When he asks Roy why he doesn't just let the gods destroy the world in order to thwart the Snarl, thereby letting him move on to the afterlife, Roy reminds him that if that happens, the dwarves will be condemned to an eternity of slavery ruled over by Hel. Eugene concedes that his son has a point, and is pretty critical of the way the dwarven afterlife works. Then Comically Missing the Point rears its head and he suggests the dwarves should all commit suicide via dragon or a civil war.
- Fatal Flaw: He had several throughout his life which ultimately contribute to his current, miserable (more-so than usual) status in the story.
- Apathy, which is detailed more in Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!, but to sum it up, though Eugene was capable of being very invested in whatever he set his mind to, he very rarely ever finished those ambitions, tiring of his goals, and never took, or even seemed to think that he should have taken, long-lasting responsibility for his actions. Even his current desire for revenge on Xykon reads less like still being furious that the lich killed his master and is now menacing the world, and more that he just wants him gone so he can finally move on to the afterlife and reap rewards that he has not earned.
- Pride is his other, even more major one. Eugene believes heavily that being a wizard, and having the intelligence to match, makes one better than another, that magic is all-powerful, and can solve anything... an attitude which the story has deconstructed time and time again-having magic does not make you invincible, and a bit of inspiration and quick-thinking can derail the plans and spells of the best of them. This resulted in Eugene essentially disowning his family for Master Fyron, who shared Eugene's thirst for knowledge and disdain for the less-intelligent, which got Fyron killed by Xykon, thus starting the Blood Oath of Vengeance in the first place. In the end, said pride contributed to Eugene's Never My Fault tendencies; he refused and still refuses to realize that the subsequent mistakes he has made were his fault.
- Selfishness is the final, key flaw. Detailed in It's All About Me more, but Eugene's selfish nature just spelled problems throughout his life, particularly in his interactions with his family. He never considered finishing the Blood Oath to avenge his master or protect the world; he just wanted it out of the way and dumped it on his children. Once dead, it manifests as the key trait behind his current misery; he gives no considerations for others, including (and indeed loathing the idea) his family, innocent people, and the celestial bureaucrats. Now the only Oath Spirit left, Eugene is completely alone and bored with no-one to talk to; yet he is unable to see why this is the case, solely because of his selfishness, apathy, and pride.
- Gone Horribly Right: He taught his son to not give the gods any special deference just because they're all-powerful, which Julia posits led to Roy's lack of respect towards him.Julia: Seems like he would've been better served long-term by teaching you to never question the authority of those who created you.
Roy: Oh, it totally backfired on him personally, but it was still a good lesson.
- Good Is Not Nice: When his soul is getting judged, it is stated that he never did anything seriously wrong in his life and qualifies for the Lawful Good afterlife, but he was a jerkass. That being said, before his death, he more or less got tired of being a husband and father, and while both alive and dead denigrates Roy at every opportunity, and considers wizards superior to everyone else. The "Good" part ultimately faded away after his death, as his desire for revenge, which is honestly more a case of selfish apathy, grew to the point where he didn't care about a terrible genocide, and even tried to persuade his son not to stop the High Priest of Hel as the resulting destruction of the world would end his oath.
- Gretzky Has the Ball: He thinks there are home runs in soccer, and has no clue if winning a game by 3-2 is good. His wife Sara deconstructs this by pointing out that as smart as he is, he could easily learn the rules of any physical sport in a short time, but won't because he feels it's beneath him.
- Grumpy Old Man: He looks just as old as the day he died in the afterlife, even though the afterlife allows people to look like idealized self-images (see the entry for his wife Sara Greenhilt). This because he was always bitter and ornery by nature, though the Blood Oath he swore didn't help.Roy: Then why did Dad still look like a wrinkled old man?
Sara: Because your father has ALWAYS been a wrinkled old man in his heart, he was just hiding in a younger man's body most of his life.
- Handshake Refusal: As a ghost, he's lost the ability to hold anything corporeal, so he doesn't see the point to using handshakes anymore.
- Happily Married: Played straight originally with Eugene and Sara. As explained above in Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!, when he courts Sara, he devotes himself 100% to being a good boyfriend and later husband. This is why she doesn't want Roy to speak ill of him. However, Eugene's nature means he eventually becomes 100% devoted to something else though he has a family that he won't leave. "Till death do you part," indeed.
- Hate Sink: In general, he's an asshole to almost everyone he meets, with special regards to fighters and sorcerers, looking down on their (perceived) lack of intelligence. He barely put any effort into fulfilling his Blood Oath, and is completely dismissive of his family aside from Julia, and even then admits that he regrets having started a family at all, when it was his experiments that killed his youngest son. His disdain for his family is in fact so great, he readily agrees to Roy's proposition that he never interacts with them again. Going beyond his callousness towards his relatives, he doesn't care how horrific any action might be as long as it kills Xykon, ranging from genocide or total oblivion of existence, not displaying an ounce of sympathy towards anyone who might be affected by such actions, which includes his daughter. Not only that, but despite his achievements in life, his powers have really only helped the Order twice note , and even those occasions were tainted by his attitude, which made it very clear that he only helped because of the benefit to him, not his son and the world.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: As Julia points out, his Nay-Theist viewpoint didn't exactly teach Roy the Blind Obedience he may have wanted.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Eugene's tendencies of judging people based on their classes rather than their alignments and personalities shows off best with his views on Roy and Julia. He believes the former to be unsuited to fulfilling the Blood Oath of Vengeance due to being a fighter, yet despite many failures, tragedies, and tribulations, Roy has kept on going to fulfill the Oath, solely due to Xykon's evil and the threat he poses to the world. Julia, who Eugene thinks would do better simply by being a wizard, was easily captured by the Linear Guild, a Goldfish Poop Gang considered a mere irritant by the far more dangerous Vector Legion, and later on, makes a morally ambiguous suggestion to Roy that, if ever suggested to or done in front of Serini Toormuck, the guardian of the suggestion's subject, would likely see her thrown out of Kraagor's Gate or just cause the overall situation to deteriorate were she actually there, proving that she is not up-to-snuff to handle the complexities of the quest.
- Insufferable Genius: Has a natural disdain for fighters, which is the reason why he never got along with his father and son, and is overall very prideful with his knowledge as a Wizard. Likewise, his master was also quite arrogant towards sorcerers, which got him killed by Xykon.
- I Resemble That Remark!: In On the Origin of PCs, Roy suggests that a common flaw among arcane spellcasters is a supreme belief in their own abilities. Eugene's response is an arrogant tirade about how magic is all-powerful and there is no problem that it cannot solve.
- In Start of Darkness, he advises Right-Eye to drop his quest to destroy Xykon by pointing out that, when he's dead, he won't look back and say "Darn, I didn't spend enough time on petty revenge." After he dies, Eugene will indeed end up regretting the fact that he didn't spend enough time on "petty" revenge.
- Also, his constant badgering of Roy for becoming a fighter and obsessing over the Greenhilt Sword, which leads his son to become a Magic Knight dedicated to the sword.
- It's All About Me: Nothing is too horrific in his eyes if it means destroying Xykon so he can get into the afterlife. This includes, but is not limited to, regretting having ever started a family, forever tainting one's soul via making a deal with all three Lower Planes at once in a bid for power, and destroying the entire planet along with everyone on it, so long as Xykon is swept away in the destruction as well. The only thing he considers being too high a price to pay is having the entire dwarven population being damned for eternity if the world is destroyed, since it means they all die dishonorably, and even then, only the fate of their souls matter to him, not their lives. He suggests that every living dwarf, numbering at least in a few million, should consider running out and get themselves killed in some random battle instead.
- Jerkass: Disdain for fighters, emotionally abusive to his children, dismissive of his entire family, and overall a cranky and bitter person. His father even mentions that Eugene was rude and disrespectful to him simply for being a fighter.
- Jerkass Has a Point:
- In Start of Darkness he refuses to cooperate with Right-Eye to take down Xykon because he refuses to put his family at risk of being targeted by Xykon, or leaving his wife and son alone, and suggests that Right-Eye drop it too. While he may be a terrible parent to Roy, part of him does care about his family, at least when he was alive.Eugene: Well, if you want my advice, you should both forget about working for some evil mastermind and move forward with your lives. When you're dead, you're never going to look back on your life and say, "Darn, I didn't spend enough time on petty revenge."
- Roy notes that one of the only good things Eugene taught him was in questioning the authority of the gods and that they do not deserve any special treatment.
- In his talk with Roy right after the Godsmoot about the Dwarven code of honor, he gives off the idea that the Dwarves could try and pick a fight with a dragon or start a civil war, just so they can die an "honorable" death. This callous suggestion outrages Roy, but we later see that Dwarves do see that as a valid way to help someone die honorably and avoid Hel.
- And wizards are a lot stronger than fighters in Dn D 3.
- In Start of Darkness he refuses to cooperate with Right-Eye to take down Xykon because he refuses to put his family at risk of being targeted by Xykon, or leaving his wife and son alone, and suggests that Right-Eye drop it too. While he may be a terrible parent to Roy, part of him does care about his family, at least when he was alive.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: One scene in Start of Darkness portrays him as such, where he declines a perfect opportunity to defeat Xykon out of concern for leaving his wife widowed and son fatherless. Assuming he wasn't using that as an excuse, given how disdainful he is towards Roy and Sara immediately thereafter.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Any time he seems to show a less odious trait is quickly tainted by his motives for acting that way.
- He seems to care for Julia, his daughter, whom he spoiled... but that only seems to be because she inherited his interest in magic. While this can be excused with the idea that he finally has something in common with a member of his family, upon being dead, he's revealed to want to push the Blood Oath of Vengeance onto her, ignoring how she's very inexperienced and thus stands zero chance against Xykon or any of his allies, and wants to lead her own life and finds the Blood Oath to be incredibly short-sighted herself. Finally, he's willing to let the Gods destroy the world, glossing over how this will kill Julia, just so he can get his oath fulfilled, and considering Roy's hesitance to inform Julia of the deal where Eugene doesn't have to interact with his family anymore, is not likely to go looking for her in the afterlife if that indeed came to pass.
- His grudge against Xykon. Wanting Xykon destroyed is, in of itself, a noble goal, and while Eugene's initial motivation to avenge his master is understandable... he also abandoned his oath once it bored him, and the only reason he even cares about Xykon being defeated is not because Xykon is threatening creation itself in his quest to gain the Snarl, but just so Eugene can enter the afterlife.
- On a smaller note, his talk with Roy on the Mechane is something he tries to pass off as him not needing an excuse for a visit... but Roy doesn't buy it, and Eugene exclaims that he's just bored since no-one is willing to talk to him.
- Jock Dad, Nerd Son: His father Horace was a Fighter, while Eugene was interested in magic and studying even as a child. Unusual for this trope, Eugene was the antagonistic one in the relationship, constantly calling his father stupid and looking down on him for his preference for action over words, while all Horace wanted was to bond with his son, and never tried to force him into a physical Class.
- Master of Illusion: Illusion is his favored school. He's good enough to fool an entire group of paladins that he's really a being of law and good.
- Nay-Theist: He viewed the gods as little more than "fancy alien wizards who figured out how to crowd-source their magic", and passed this view on to his kids. Roy considers it to be one of the few good lessons Eugene ever taught him.
- Never My Fault: His Fatal Flaw is this, even going beyond his temperamental attention span. Eugene very rarely if at all takes the responsibilities for the consequences of his choices. This, tempered with his lack of devotion into his choices, keeps screwing him over, and his inability to recognize this causes problems for him and others around him. Most notably, he refuses to admit that the death of his second son Eric may be have been his fault because of his careless experimenting and that he made Roy fulfill his oath rather then take one last shot at it himself; this is why he's stuck at the gates while Roy is permitted to enter. Roy more or less addresses his father not dealing with the consequences during their conversation on the Mechane (though he's referring to Eugene's frustration at being the only Oath spirit waiting and no-one wanting to talk to him after the thing with the Celestial Deva.)Roy: I'm sorry to hear that, but it sounds a lot like a white fluffy cloud-bed that you made yourself and you'd just rather not lie in it.
Eugene: I'm dead. I shouldn't have to mess with beds at all anymore.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: His contributions to the fight against Xykon are not always motivated by the right concerns, and as a result he has a bit of a tendency to miss details that don't directly affect him but which are crucial to the mission. Most glaringly his decision to conceal Vaarsuvius' Soul Splice from Roy leads to Roy being unaware of the consequences of said Splice, with near-disastrous effects. At the same time, the ultimate consequences of that decision may prove to have been better to happen than not - not that Eugene gets any credit for that, since his investment in the fight against Xykon extends just far enough to get the Oath off his back and allow him into the proper afterlife.
- Nominal Hero: He's only technically on the side of good; very, very technically. This is why he's only barely inside heaven at all; he doesn't really care about doing good, he just happens to have done good during his life.
- The Oathbreaker: Part of the reason why he's not allowed to pass on is as punishment for ignoring the blood oath he made as soon as it stopped being interesting for him.
- Omnicidal Maniac: Played For Black Comedy; he comments about allowing the gods to destroy the world to stop the Snarl, as it would destroy Xykon and let him to pass on. He only withdraws the opinion when Roy points out that this would condemn all the Dwarves to Hel, and even after this is noted, his solution is to have them all go out and get themselves killed first.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: There are a number of rules involving ghost intervention: summoning, family heirlooms, blood oaths, etc.
- Posthumous Character: His introduction is as Roy's Spirit Advisor.
- Prematurely Bald: In flashbacks to his youth, though his beard may be brown he is already bald.
- Prophecy Twist: "When the goat turns red strikes true." Eugene, ever heard of the comma?
- Revenge Before Reason: He would be perfectly happy to see the world destroyed if it meant killing Xykon. What keeps this firmly Played for Laughs is the fact that he can't actually act on this, due to being, you know, dead. His general attitude towards Xykon as a whole notably, reads less like someone who wants revenge due to the harm that the lich has caused, and more of a loose end that was never tied up and is now causing him problems he can't easily get rid of.
- Sarcasm-Blind: For all the sarcasms he dishes out, he's not very good at noticing it when directed his way.Roy: I'm deeply sorry that our existence is not as efficient a solution to your long-term problems as you might have hoped for.
Eugene: It's OK, I'm used to it.
- Spirit Advisor: He appears to Roy in ghost form in the beginning of the story to give advice or portent. He's not tremendously helpful, though, because of his general jerkassery.
- Static Character: Most notable by Book 6; Eugene ultimately began life as an egotistical jerk who valued intellect above anything else, and as a dead person, stayed an egotistical jerk who values intellect above everything else. While The Order of the Stick features many characters, both protagonists and antagonists alike, growing and changing as people or showcasing Hidden Depths, Eugene stands out by never changing his views or ways, and thus by Book 6, where everyone in the Order has gained a great deal of Character Development, he truly stands out as a dysfunctional asshole who is likely to remain that way forever.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: He's far nicer in Start of Darkness than after he died.
- Unfinished Business: That's why he's stuck on Fluffy Cloud Heaven and can't join the true afterlife. His blood oath is unfulfilled.
- Vengeance Denied: Gave out a Blood Oath of Vengeance against Xykon for killing his master. He died before the beginning of the story, but not before telling Roy to do it on his behalf. Unlike most cases however, this one could have actually been avoided. Eugene was perfectly capable of fulfilling the Oath in his youth, but grew bored of it and decided to focus on something else. He didn't even bother trying to return to it in his old age, instead dumping it on Roy and Julia. Had he put in more effort to see the Oath through or at least given it one last proper shot, he might not be stuck as an Oath Spirit.
Alignment: True Neutral
Roy's younger sister (and technically Eric's as well). A mage student at Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery and youngest child of the Greenhilt family.
- Academic Alpha Bitch: Her stereotypical behavior can often have people forget that she is still a Wizard and at least as smart as her brother and father. She is still in Wizarding school and she has been making an advanced sending spell. One that defies the 25-character limit rule plus even lowering the spell level. She has not figured out the details as her successful sending to Roy relies on the prior connection thanks to the Blood Oath from Eugene.
- Action Survivor: She isn't high enough level to be of much use in combat, but she still manages to help out the Order during their fight with the Linear Guild by running messages through the battlefield and destroying some of Pompey's minions.
- Alpha Bitch: Implied to be one by her attitude and dismissal of other students. Check out her page quote.
- Attention Whore: She is upset that she can't get Durkon's attention when Durkon is casting a spell to save the Order in Cliffport.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: While she and Roy argue, they do love each other as brother and sister, something that Nale finds absolutely alien.
- Bratty Teenage Daughter: Julia inherited her rude and egotistical personality from her father.
- The Bus Came Back: Julia's last appearance was in #364 where she and Roy hugged goodbye in Cliffport, and wasn't seen again (save Elan's fantasy in #887) till #1191 via an advanced sending spell.
- Character Alignment: True Neutral ("I go both ways.") . This is properly displayed in #1274, where she has no qualms suggesting to Roy to use Sunny as bait to trap Oona, to Roy's immediate disapproval, though she justifies it with The Needs of the Many due to the current stakes.
- Deadpan Snarker: Durkon is the only major character so far that she's neglected to snark at. When she contacts Roy in the final arc, she briefly lets him believe she's dead before revealing her improved sending.
- Everyone Has Standards: Probably one of the few people in the comic who doesn't really have a reason to hate or dislike Eugene Greenhilt, yet even she found her father's decision to make the Blood Oath incredibly short-sighted and isn't really up to fulfilling it.
- I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: Her favorite way of getting attention is flaunting herself, either to students or even to the teachers. It has no effect on Durkon, though, and he actually respectfully chastises her for it and talks to her about it later. The fact that she listens to him and even says "yes sir" in regards to this implies that her disrespectful attitude comes from being able to flaunt herself to get her way before the steadfast Durkon set her straight.
- Like Father, Like Son: Daughter in this case, but still. Similar to her father, Julia is a wizard, and has inherited his general ego and attitude from him. That being said, Julia is at least capable of listening to the proper authority figures, such as Durkon, and truly does care about her family, two traits that Eugene quite frankly does not have. Eugene's influence still shows, though.Julia: I could still use your corpse. It'd be a half-step down from your usual conversational wit, but I doubt my teachers would notice.
Roy: Oh, there you are, Dad. I didn't notice you hiding in my sister's entire personality like that.
- Not the Intended Use: Eugene swore a Blood Oath that condemns his children to finish his unfulfilled vengeance. Julia figures out that his having children, plural, means they can use it as a connection for communications magic.
- Not So Similar: While she may rib on Roy for being a fighter and has a rather large ego, not unlike her father, she actually does care about her family, with her jibes against her brother being far more playful than malicious, can actually listen to other people while Eugene blows them off, and most importantly, does not want the world to be destroyed, while Eugene actively desires it just to see his Oath be fulfilled. In addition, her assessment of her powers is quite realistic and grounded, contrast to Eugene's near-obsession with magic, and she can actually think through her actions, recognizing that her father wasn't really thinking when he made the Blood Oath.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: She might be a sarcastic brat and ribs on her brother plenty concerning his track record with Xykon... but upon learning that if the Order fails to defeat him at Kraagor's Gate, it will likely mean the end of the world, she stops joking and is willing to offer advice, if possible.
- Please Put Some Clothes On: After dealing with Leeky, Durkon sternly tells that he will have a talk to her about her way of address and attitude. Indeed, when the situation is over, he gives her said talking-to about respecting herself and her body. Surprisingly enough, Julia actually listens to him on both accounts and even respectfully responding with "yes sir." In contrast, Roy thinks her state of dress is Nale's fault.
- Spoiled Brat: The only thing Roy tells Eric about her is that she was spoiled rotten. Given Eugene's Parental Favoritism towards her due to her being a wizard, it's not hard to draw the conclusion.
- Stripperiffic: Roy thinks her Bare Your Midriff outfit is a case of Go-Go Enslavement, calling it a "faux-punk whore" style. It isn't. She deliberately dresses this way, something that Durkon admonishes her for. When she reappears in Strip #1191, she's taken his words to heart, wearing a much more modest outfit, albeit still exposing her shoulders.
Class: Unknown (probably Commoner)
Alignment: Lawful Good
Eugene's wife, mother of Roy, Julia and Eric. Dead years before the start of the story, she meets with Roy during his visit in the afterlife.
- Absurdly Elderly Mother: She died of old age a few years before the start of the story but has a daughter who's still currently a teenager.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parent: Her comment about grandchildren reminds Roy why he never tells her about anyone he dates.
- Ambiguously Brown: In contrast to Eugene and Roy, who have sub-Saharan African features, Sara has straight hair and slightly lighter skin tone. She has a belly dancer look when Eugene first meets her, suggesting a Middle Eastern (or the setting equivalent) background.
- Ethical Slut: Sara is having affairs with at least one other adventurer's ghost after her own death, when she finds out that the Lawful Good paradise is a Free-Love Future. Roy finds this really embarrassing and awkward when he dies and hangs out with her while waiting for resurrection. Especially since her idealized self is younger than him and quite attractive.
- Girlish Pigtails: It's part of the "19-year-old looker" thing.
- Good Parents: She is likely the cause for Roy's turn as a hero, as she reared her children more-or-less by herself.
- Happily Married: Initially, she and Eugene have a very happy relationship together. It's why she doesn't let Roy bad-mouth him when they meet in Lawful Good Heaven.
- I Want Grandkids: Encourages Roy to get Celia pregnant so she can hear the pitter-patter of little feet... or the woosh-woosh of little wings, as the case may be.
- Latin Lover: Roy meets with Enriqué, his mom's current lover, during his visit.
- Older Than They Look: Because of the "idealized heavenly self" thing, she's an old woman with a teenager's body.
- Posthumous Character: Like her husband, she's dead by the start of the story.
- Stacy's Mom: She's acknowledged as being quite attractive In-Universe, and Roy is put off by it quite a bit. The strip in which she's introduced is even called "DMILF".
- Supernaturally Young Parent: In the Lawful Good afterlife, people have an idealized version of their bodies. As a result, despite dying of old age and being wizened in the flashbacks that include her, her afterlife body is that of her 19-year-old self.
- Understanding Boyfriend: Wife, obviously, but anyway, she has a better understanding of Eugene than most people do. She explains to Roy about Eugene's intense, but often shifting focus and how it factored into their marriage, while also keeping Roy from bad-mouthing him. She points out she was married to him for 30 years and hoped to gain some insight on him, all with a rather snarky and confident look on her face.
Alignment: Lawful Good
Roy's baby brother, killed by Eugene's negligence. Technically Julia's older brother as well and thus the middle child of the Greenhilt family.
- all lowercase letters: Due to being a toddler when he died.
- Cheerful Child: He's consistently seen happy. Roy thinks it never occurred to him to answer the resurrection calls because of his happiness and contentedness while in the Lawful Good heaven.
- Chekhov's Gunman: He can be spotted in an early strip's flashback: "Memories, Like the Edges of My Sword"
- Children Are Innocent: He went straight to the Lawful Good afterlife because he was a happy normal child unburdened by any sort of problem.
- Posthumous Character: He died many years before the start of the story.
Alignment: Lawful Good
Eugene's father, dead before his grandchildren were born. Roy's childhood hero from the stories told by his mother. He also was the one who gave the family their rep as the Greenhilts (while his father had the sword first, Horace was the one who made a family reputation with it.)
- Cool Old Guy: Roy has a much better relationship with him than his father because they relate better to one another, presumably since they're both fighters. Horace also takes time from his mountain treks to visit his daughter-in-law and his toddler grandson every now and then. It also helps that, unlike his son, Horace isn't an arrogant, aloof jerk.
- Cool Sword: A spiritual copy of the Greenhilt family sword.
- Give Me a Sword: "ROY! Heads up!" You can't take it with you, you know?
- Follow in My Footsteps: Listening to stories about his heroic adventurer grandfather inspired Roy to become one himself. A snippet of an argument with Eugene is Roy holding the Greenhilt family sword and saying "Don't you know we come from a line of fighters?" Horace is especially proud Roy chose to be a single-class fighter.
- Old Master: Teaches Roy a sword feat in the afterlife — a Counterspell feat for Fighters (timed strikes to disrupt spells during the moment the caster is casting). Turns out the feat is extinct by the time of the story and no Fighter alive knows it (until Roy).
- Posthumous Character: He was dead before Roy was born.
Class: Unknown (possibly Expert)
Alignment: Lawful Good
Celia is a sylph and lawyer from the Elemental Plane of Air. She's first met in Dorukan's Dungeon, where she fulfills the role of Air Sigil Guardian. Later, she becomes the attorney for the Order of the Stick as well as Roy's girlfriend.
- Actual Pacifist: Much to Haley and Belkar's frustration, she refuses to resort to violence in any and all circumstances. Though she has been known to let loose the occasional lightning bolt in anger. She also doesn't mind using violence against non-living things like golems, though her utility in that is hampered by the fact that golems are immune to most spells and some, like flesh golems, get buffs from lightning.
- Bare Your Midriff: Her original Sigil Guardian costume leaves her belly exposed. Though she wasn't fond of working for Dorukan, she does admit one of the perks of the job was "a rather lax dress code."
- Batman Gambit: Celia tricks Hank and other members of the Thieves Guild by playing on their greed. They know she could be tricking them, but the prospect of getting gold and magical items is too good to pass up in tough economic times.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: She's quite naïve to the ways of the Material world, but she is a competent lawyer, even if just in training.
- Characterization Marches On: She blasts Nale with a lightning bolt after he pranks her in one of her earlier appearances, contrary to her Actual Pacifist beliefs in later strips, though this is explained as her not being able to always live up to her own ideals.
- Damsel in Distress: Lampshaded by Roy.Roy: Ah, there's my damsel. In distress. As is quickly becoming standard.
- Damsel out of Distress: When cornered and grabbed in Blind Pete's house, she rescues not only herself but her party members by renegotiating Haley's contract with the Rogue's Guild.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: She and Roy talk about the root cause of her conflicts with mortals like Haley. Outsiders can't be revived nor do they have an afterlife, so they have different ideas about death than those that can come Back from the Dead every day of the week given sufficient resources.
- Ditzy Genius: She's a highly competent lawyer (even though she's still in law school!), but lacks basic knowledge of the material plane and is very naïve.Roy: [freshly resurrected] Oh, right. I have to actually move my legs when I'm on this plane.
Celia: Don't worry, honey. I make that mistake ALL the time.
- Eating the Eye Candy: During The Stinger for Book 5, Celia mentions she's going to reread the parts of the book that feature Roy in a loincloth.
- Fairy Sexy: Roy thinks so, given that the first thing he did after being revived is have sex with her.
- Fish out of Water: She's not familiar with how the Prime Material Plane or its inhabitants operate.
- Flight: Normal for a sylph, but she's a surprisingly strong flyer too, able to carry Roy along with her.
- Good Counterpart: For Sabine in the Linear Guild; both are winged outsiders with supernatural powers, and both are in a relationship with the leaders of their respective parties.
- Good Wings, Evil Wings: Translucent dragonfly wings, both good and fey.
- Granola Girl: She's a vegetarian on top of being a pacifist.
- Guest-Star Party Member: Serves as the caster for the Haley/Belkar/Roy's Corpse group in the "Don't Split the Party" arc.
- Hello, Attorney!: From Roy's point of view; incidentally, they became a couple after she showed up for his trial in Azure City.
- Horrible Judge of Character: She's incredibly naïve and liable to trust people who really don't deserve to be trusted.
- Hypocrite: She claims to be an Actual Pacifist but is known to fly off the handle to blast people or cheer on Haley when she kills the Thieves' Guild members. As Rich noted in the commentary, Celia is not a living incarnation of Law and Good, meaning she can fail to live up to her ideals.
- Interspecies Romance: Her boyfriend is a human.
- I Thought Everyone Could Do That: She finds it very strange that humans cannot shoot lightning from their fingers or sense magic fields with their teeth. Part of what serves as her conflict between her and Haley how little she actually knows about humans' capabilities. Though she does have a bit of a good reason.
- Meaningful Name: Suitably for an air elemental, her name means "heavenly" in Latin.
- Mystical White Hair: That hair is a sign of her connection to the Elemental Plane of Air and her sorcerous powers over air and lightning.
- Pointy Ears: Sylphs share this trait with elves.
- Put on a Bus: Put on Another Plane of Existence; that is where she lives, after all.
- Sexy Backless Outfit: Her party dress in Azure City is backless. It has the advantage of letting her fairy wings free.
- Shock and Awe: Although she doesn't like to use it offensively, lightning is a natural power of hers.
- Thou Shalt Not Kill: She's against killing, which puts her at odds with the adventurers. Although she has no problem cheering Haley on as she kills people.
- Token Good Teammate: A pacifist adventuring with Haley (who is pragmatic about killing) and Belkar (who relishes it). At the same time, this is deconstructed a bit; while Celia's moral values on paper are certainly not bad, it results in a great deal of friction with the two; moreso Haley (who has the emotional intelligence to actually deal with Celia compared to Belkar), since Celia's naivety ends up causing their fair share of problems and personal conflict.
- Virtuous Vegetarianism: Celia is a Neutral Good Actual Pacifist and vegetarian. Because she's an Outsider, she has a different perspective on death to most of the cast (instead of an afterlife, her soul will merge with the Elemental Plane of Air), causing her to respect both her own life and those of creatures around her.
- Winged Humanoid: Sylphs have two pairs of dragonfly-like wings and an elfin body. Although Celia is medium-sized, unlike what's described in the D&D rules (no doubt to ease the romance with Roy).
For Haley Starshine, see The Order of the Stick.
Class: Rogue note
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Haley's father and former high-ranking member of Greysky City's Thieves' Guild before being supplanted by Bozzok. As a result, he has spent three years imprisoned.
- Believing Their Own Lies: Not quite as bad as Miko Miyazaki, but bad enough to think his daughter single-handedly manipulated the whole party into rescuing him while being on an unrelated mission, and Roy into believing he's The Leader. He also accuses Elan of being a mole working for his father General Tarquin. However, he does improve a little on this, coming to realise that Haley really is on her own mission and that Elan's a good guy (or at least, not out to destroy his family. Probably).
- Chekhov's Gunman: He's seen in a few flashbacks before appearing in the storyline proper, though even at the time there was no indication that the old, white-haired gladiator could be him. When Haley reunites with him, it's already clear that he is indeed her father with Tarquin's revelation that the Empire of Blood was called Tyrinaria before and the fact that Ian was red-haired.
- Cynicism Catalyst: Inverted. His wife told him to "be better than this city" as she lay dying, so he's trying to "be better" than a profit-minded thief that steals from everyone. His first idea was to overthrow an Evil Overlord.
- Dating What Daddy Hates: While he's fully capable of telling the difference between Nale and Elan, he still refuses to believe that Haley and Elan's relationship is anything more than one of Tarquin's ploys. Elan does manage to make him approve of him conditionally by telling him a secret plan to overthrow his father.
- Disease Bleach: His once-red hair is now white thanks to the poor conditions of his incarceration cell, and he looks much gruffer than when he was first detained.Ian: They used to call me "Red", but three years of malnutrition will do a number on your hair color.
- Distressed Dude: Freeing him was the big motivator for Haley to start adventuring.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Haley claims in an early strip that he is a 2nd edition Thief instead of a Rogue. This has yet to be discussed again.
- Frame-Up: After the nation of Reptilia partially catches on to Tarquin's scheme, Tarquin has their ambassador assassinated and pins the crime on Ian. This is done both to punish Ian for his disrespect towards Tarquin and to test Haley's worthiness of marrying his son by seeing how she handles the situation. However, this works to his advantage — those who also want to bring down Tarquin figure that someone worth framing is an ally to have, so now Ian's would-be revolt has some decent allies.
- Greed: He's Haley's father. Where do you think she got it from?Ian: Would it be crass to bill him extra for a single-use improvised weapon?
Ian: "Lovable miser" crass, or just—
Geoff: Just regular crass.
- Groin Attack: Apparently suffered one that rendered him sterile ten years ago. Which makes Belkar's attempt at a Freudian Threat fall flat.
- Horrible Judge of Character: He trusts no-one but his own family and considers everyone else a potential enemy, raising Haley with this in mind. Although he's beginning to accept that somebody outside his family might yet have some good in them, given that the person in question is Belkar, this trope is still very much in effect. Also, it turns out he was betrayed by Geoff, i.e. family, whom he trusted implicitly.
- Improperly Paranoid: His main flaw. He doesn't trust anyone outside of family and is always looking for an angle. While this is advised in Greysky City, everywhere else it gets in the way.
- Irony: Lives his life by the paranoid philosophy of you can't trust anyone but family. His brother-in-law Geoff has been betraying him.
- It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: He let himself get caught in an attempt to stir up a rebellion against General Tarquin because he reasoned that jails would be bursting with Tarquin's enemies. However, those capable of following him were few in number and all died in the gladiator arena, and he's been stuck in jail ever since.
- It's What I Do: The reason Ian stays behind to help Amun-Zora with La Résistance is that being anti-authoritarian is what he's comfortable being and taking down rulers is just something he does.
- It Tastes Like Feet: Ian and Geoff cultivate some nutritious parasites over their bodies in case of hunger. "Mmmm! These ones taste like neck!"
- Just Like Robin Hood: Rob from the rich and give 40% to the poor, after reasonable expenses.
- Luke Nounverber: Another Starshine.
- Made a Slave: Gladiator, because he was caught thieving.
- The Old Convict: Fills this role at the gladiator camp; his reference to being nicknamed "Red" is a shout-out to a well-known example of this trope in The Shawshank Redemption.
- The Pig-Pen: Not by his choice, but three years in the Bloodstone Correctional Facility is hard on your hygiene. Belkar and Roy make a few comments about his stench.
- Properly Paranoid: Living in Greysky City, it's no wonder he taught Haley to never trust anyone but family. His patronizing attitude towards Elan for being General Tarquin's son is also understandable given how much more favored he is compared to Nale.
- Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: He believes the other trope, but he himself is proof of this. Choosing to remain in prison because you think your little girl is being hoodwinked by a calculating, nefarious, deeply undercover mole linked to an Evil Overlord (Elan?! The Chaotic Good Cloudcuckoolander!? You're serious, right?) can be nothing but this. There are some cases in which he's improved — as his wife had begged him — but he doesn't on this one... initially. He warms up to him after seeing the plan Elan gave him to deal with Tarquin.
- So Proud of You: See Believing His Own Lies. Later, however, he encourages her to make her dead mother, and then him, proud, with obvious confidence that she will do it, on her actual quest.
- Stealth Hi/Bye: Pulls this on Tarquin between two panels, even calling it the "Batman Exit".
- Unknown Rival: He sees Tarquin as a vile and dangerous villain that his late wife would be proud to see him depose. Tarquin sees him as one more expendable gladiator and, in fact, doesn't even know who he is.
- "Wanted!" Poster: Thanks to Tarquin, he gets one when framed for the murder of Ambassador Gourntonk.
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
Haley's uncle and Ian's brother-in-law. Geoff has been imprisoned in the Empire of Blood alongside Ian, and ultimately turns out to be the one responsible for ensuring that both of them remain in Tarquin's custody.
- An Arm and a Leg: He lost his right leg in the gladiator games, because he wasn't as good at dodging as Ian. It is now replaced by a wooden peg leg that hides a wand of sending.
- Foreshadowing: He reacts with fear to Belkar mentioning Bozzok, implying he has a bad history with him. Near the end of the arc, it is revealed that Bozzok had been blackmailing Geoff into keeping Ian imprisoned in exchange for sparing the life of Jiminy.
- The Mole: He is Bozzok's mole against Ian Starshine in the Empire of Blood's jails, warning their captors of any escape attempt.
- The Pig-Pen: Like Ian, having spent three years in the Empire's gaols, his hygiene is lacking. Though at least, the parasites he's now sporting help against starvation.
Jiminy: The irony is staggering, sir, yes.
Geoff's son and Haley's cousin. Runs a polearm shop which seems to have problems keeping goods in stock.
For Elan, see The Order of the Stick.
For Nale, see The Linear Guild.
For Tarquin, see The Empire of Blood.
Class: Unknown (probably Commoner)
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Elan and Nale's Chaotic Good mother, a tavern waitress who reared him to be trustworthy and honest. She used to be married to Elan's father, before he had an entire tavern killed because someone pinched her rear.
- The Cameo: She has appeared in only two flashback panels in the entire comic, aside from the Lotus-Eater Machine.
- Complexity Addiction: Her plans for managing a tavern are far more complicated than they need to be. She is the the current page image, and it is also the main thing she passes onto to Nale.
- Dating Catwoman: She was married to an evil dictator despite being Chaotic Good. Deconstructed, as this has led to the divorce.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: A very clear example. She is a sweet woman with a good heart and raises Elan to be the same way.
- No Name Given: To the point that in the Lotus-Eater Machine, the priest refers to her as "Elan's mother".
- Porn Stash: She keeps a collection of Julio Scoundrél pictures for her alone time. Whether she knows he's her ex's nemesis isn't made clear.
- Satellite Character: In contrast to her family, she doesn't have much of a role in the story besides being related to Elan, Nale and Tarquin. Even her Complexity Addiction serves just as an explanation where Nale got it from, and even in Elan's fantasy she's only known as "Elan's mother".
For Vaarsuvius, see The Order of the Stick.
Class: Unknown (probably Commoner or Expert)
Vaarsuvius's mate, a baker. Ends up filing for divorce after the thing with the black dragon and V's neglectful behavior in general.
- Armor-Piercing Question: After V explains the terms and reasons behind their deal with the Fiends Inkyrius asks why don't they just give up the power now that the threat is gone. V's hesitation is enough for Inkyrius to know they value the arcane power more than their marriage even before V gives their answer.
- Elfeminate: Like their spouse, we can assume that Inkyrius has the same androgynous appearance as V.
- Gender-Neutral Writing: Inkyrius is not reffered to as "Mother" or "Father" by their children and is instead reffered to as "Parent".
- Happily Married: Inkyrius with Vaarsuvius at the start and how V knows a good bit about relationships. However, V's somewhat neglectful treatment of them and their family caused some problems which came to light after the battle with the black dragon and V selling their soul to the fiends. V is forced to realize it was all their fault and concedes to the divorce to keep Inkyrius and their children safe. While it's unknown how Inkyrius currently feels about everything else, Vaarsuvius gazing longingly at a picture of Kyrie shows a great deal of regret and sadness on V's part.
- In-Series Nickname: V calls them Kyrie.
- Mama Bear/Papa Wolf: Is prepared to defend their children against Soul-spliced V with a stick.
- MuggleMage Romance: With V, as the Muggle to their Mage. Eventually, Inkyrius divorces them after the whole soul-splicing incident.
- Non-Action Guy: A baker by trade.
- One Head Taller: Is around the height of an average human, while Vaarsuvius is noticeably shorter.
- Pointy Ears: As is common per elves.
Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius's Children
Green-Haired Child: I helped!
Two young elves that were adopted by Vaarsuvius and Inkyrius.
- Gender-Neutral Writing: Like their parents, their gender identities remain unknown.
- Happily Adopted: They aren't the two elves' biological children, but they both clearly love their parents.
- Harmful to Minors: Their legs get broken and they see their parent crucified on a tree by a monster out to murder the three of them. Then their other parent shows up and brutally kills their attacker, and massacres everyone the attacker was ever related to.
- No Name Given: Over their short time in-comic, they're not given any name, Inkyrius just calling one of them "Loved One" once.
- Older Than They Look: They are both 26, but are still in kindergarten since elves mature very slowly.
- Pointy Ears: As is common per elves.
For Little Whiskers, see Animal Companions
Class: Wizard (possibly also Archmage)
Vaarsuvius's master in the magical arts, and also a friend to V's family. They sent Vaarsuvius off on their life of adventuring so V could get some life experience.
- The Archmage: Aarindarius is implied to be this. The mage is quite powerful considering that they are shown (in a hypothetical scenario) to be strong enough to one-shot an elder black dragon without much effort, the same mother black dragon that V needed the Soul Splice to defeat.
- Mentor Archetype: The one who taught Vaarsuvius arcane magic.
A team of elves sent to help liberate Azure City from the hobgoblins.
- Anti-Hero: They are sent to free Azure city from the Xykon's rule but they abide by the adventurers' rule of goblins= XP fodder even if the goblins might be innocent or willing to join their cause.
- Asshole Victim: They are walking justification for Redcloak's point of view towards PC races. They are all massacred horribly, the Commander and Second suffering the only use of implosion in the comic until Redcloak attempts it on Durkon nearly 200 strips later.
- Attack! Attack! Attack!: The Commander attempts to assault Redcloak due to an attempted Roaring Rampage of Revenge for his fallen comrades, despite being completely outnumbered and outmatched. This ends quite poorly, as you might expect.
- Cowboy Cop: The commander, as demonstrated by the brutality he shows towards the captured hobgoblin prisoner.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: The aforementioned deaths of the Commander and Lieutenant. This might have been the case for the rest of the team as well.
- Fantastic Racism: As far as the commander is concerned, the only good goblins are dead goblins.
- Flat Character: Granted, they're supporting cast members and get less focus, but there are plenty of supporting cast characters with more focus than them. It's a moot point since they're dead.
- Kick the Dog: The commander gives a hobgoblin prisoner false hope before throwing him off the ramparts of the prison, instead of just explaining that it was too big a risk and offing him quickly. Later, Redcloak is told that, besides the prison guards, casualties include a pair of innocent hobgoblin bystanders who were shot in the back, presumably because they saw the elves escaping.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: Considering his attitude towards goblins and that his Kick the Dog moment was his only real scene before his death, the murder of the Commander by Redcloak can easily be seen as this. The Giant admitted in the book commentary that he wrote the Commander specifically so Redcloak could use implosion on someone that wouldn't be terribly missed.
- Meaningful Name: "Peregrine" is a somewhat archaic word for "foreign", and Team Peregrine are elves from the Western Continent fighting for the liberation of Azure City across the ocean. The name may also evoke the peregrine falcon, the fastest bird of prey on Earth, very fitting for a deadly strike force.
- Moral Myopia: Commander "The Only Good Goblin Is a Dead Goblin" screams that he'll avenge every elf slain by Redcloak. Redcloak, for his part, doesn't comment on the irony of all the hobgoblins he avenges by making the commander implode.
- No Name Given: None of them are given monickers beyond their rank in the team.
- Revenge Before Reason: The Commander, when he returns to the Resistance HQ only to see half of his team slaughtered by Redcloak, immediately attacks without thought or assessment.. Their presence in Azure City is also to avenge their fallen allied kingdom even though every other Azurite allies refused because of the danger.
- Shoot the Dog: The Azurites are unwilling to kill hapless civilians in their fights. Team Peregrine is not.
- Total Party Kill: The wizard and cleric are killed off-panel by horned devils, and the Commander and Lieutenant are imploded by Redcloak.
- What the Hell, Hero?: One of the Azure City Resistance members is quite disturbed by the commander's ruthlessness. Another finds it awesome.
- Worf Effect: They are built up as awesome fighters, only to be completely destroyed in order to demonstrate Redcloak's power.
Class: Favored Soul
Alignment: Unknown (probably Good)
An elven priestess that Durkon and Roy met to ask to resurrect Durkon. Representative of the Western pantheon at the Godsmoot.
- Cannot Keep a Secret: She blurts out about their secret mission less than a minute after meeting Roy for the first time. As Wrecan puts it out:Wrecan: That elf has never had a thought that she didn't immediately articulate.
- The Chosen One: Downplayed. As a Favored Soul, she is granted an innate connection to her goddess; however, said goddess is "extremely minor" and her purpose at the Godsmoot is only to relay the Western Pantheon's decision rather than to participate.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Pokes the vamped Durkon, while saying she's never seen a vampire before, ignoring how dangerous he is. Then invites him and Roy in, saying they "seem nice." Also blurts out several times she's on a secret mission.
- Contest Winner Cameo: From the Kickstarter, and this is Lampshaded by Leaning on the Fourth Wall:Veldrina: That's money I could have spent on a new brooch. Or maybe a nice cameo.
- Ditzy Genius: She's personable, articulate, and shows signs of great intelligence, but is so bereft of common sense as to tickle a vampire's chin.
- Fluffy Tamer: Has a pet tiger, Little Whiskers.
- Hidden Depths: Veldrina may be ditzy and terrible at keeping secrets, but she's not stupid. She has a good amount of knowledge on magical theory, and when it gets through to her that a situation is serious, she stops being bubbly and asks what she can do to help.
- Literal-Minded: When Roy asks her to "just put a good word" for the Order with her fellow priests, she starts searching for the best word, saying at first she was going to use several.
- Magi Babble: Indulges in it about Durkon's resurrection.Veldrina: Would that even work with a raise dead spell? No, I think it would need to be resurrection, due to the negative particle wave interference.
- Magic Knight: Her class is more combat-oriented than say, a Cleric.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Dumplings, apparently.
- Unskilled, but Strong: The Favored Soul class works on an innate connection to a deity rather than study which makes them powerful with less finesse when compared to clerics; they're to them what sorcerers are to wizards.
Alignment: Unknown (probably Good)
Veldrina's bodyguard, and her minder. Familiar with Godsmoots from attending several as bodyguard for the Church of Marduk.
- Bodyguarding a Badass: Veldrina is a high-level Magic Knight caster. It's justified in that he has to guard her while she "trances", and more importantly, Veldrina not being endowed with a lot of (or even a little) common sense, someone has to be the straight man.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: His job may well be more babysitting Veldrina than actual bodyguarding.
- Genre Savvy: Says Durkon might stab them in the back later, then ask for forgiveness, due to having to hear that sort of thing from his teenage daughters (they apparently read a lot of vampire novels). As such, he's far more willing than Roy to listen to Belkar's concerns about Durkon.
- Good Parents: His very first reaction about learning that the fate of the world is at stake is to worry about his wife and kids.
- Good with Numbers: Mentions he likes to count things.
- I Have This Friend: "Does that trick works on elves? Asking for a friend."
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: His final conversation with Roy is more or less openly about the real Wrecan, a prolific member of the forum who died of heart failure. He spends one panel looking directly at the audience.Roy: I'm... I wish there had been more time. To get to know you better.
Wrecan: There's never enough time. Every day, one after another, until we wake up and it turns out that's the day our world ends. You have to do what you can, when you can — because who knows if tomorrow is even happening, you know?
- Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: He's a bodyguard, so he carries a shield.
- Mr. Exposition: He's quite informed about the Godsmoot and its rules, having attended a few already as a bodyguard, and imparts this knowledge to Roy and the rest of the Order (and thus, the readers). Later he tells Roy about legacy weapons.Belkar: Thanks, Sacred Knight of the Expository Aside.
- Sarcastic Devotee: Sure, he's a loyal bodyguard for Veldrina, but that doesn't stop him from snarking at her at every opportunity.Wrecan: Not as fascinating as your uncanny ability to find the straightest line between your nose and something dangerous. Back up.
- Straight Man: To Veldrina. He makes her idiosyncrasies funnier by reacting to them.
- We Need a Distraction: He uses Calling Your Attack to distract an enemy he cannot directly attack, so Roy has enough time to heal up.Wrecan: SNEAK ATTACK FROM BEHIND— ... is something I absolutely cannot do as that would be against the rules.
Weary Travelers Inn and Tavern
Class: Unknown (possibly Assassin)
One of two assassins who attempt to kill the King of Nowhere at the Weary Travelers Inn and Tavern.
- All There in the Script: Redaxe's name is given in the Adventure Game, but not in the comic itself.
- The Bus Came Back: He and his partner reappear for a brief cameo after Azure city is captured.
- Extreme Libido: Although he believes that his assassination attempt has failed and the King of Nowhere could send high-level mercenaries or soldiers after him at any minute, he nonetheless prioritizes having sex with hookers over escaping the inn.
- Karma Houdini: He never suffers any major consequences for attacking Roy and providing the explosives which ultimately blow up the Inn.
- Kavorka Man: Claims to have seduced several Vestal Virgins, even though onscreen his only seduction method is to assume women he meets are hookers and tell them to come to his room.
- Mad Bomber: Redaxe comes off like this. He loves blowing things up, and his method of "picking a lock" is to blast it into pieces with his arquebuse.
- Noble Demon: Tries to limit civilian casualties, and asks that Roy (who he thinks is the King of Nowhere) do the same by sending away his servants so they aren't caught up in the fight.
- Only Sane Man: Comes off as this in comparison to his partner, who among other things became a shadowdancer without noticing that the Order of the Stick world has no shadows in it.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Redaxe makes several misogynistic remarks, and seems incapable of understanding that the various women he encounters in the Inn are not all prostitutes.
- Professional Killer: Paid to assassinate the King of Nowhere.
- Wrecked Weapon: His arquebuse is sundered during his fight with Vaarsuvius and Haley.
- Casting a Shadow: This is how his powers are supposed to work, but the lack of shadows in the world of the comic prevents him from using them. (Although he finally finds a shadow at the end of the inn arc and uses it to teleport himself and Redaxe to safety).
- Didn't Think This Through: He took a Prestige Class which allows him to utilize shadows... but he's in a world that has no shadows, since it's drawn with stick figures.
- Karma Houdini: Like his partner, he faces no real consequences besides failure.
- Noble Demon: Like his partner, he doesn't want to kill anyone except for his target.
- Professional Killer: Paid to assassinate the King of Nowhere.
- Stock Ninja Weaponry: He uses shurikens in combat.
The King of Nowhere
Class: Unknown (probably Aristocrat)
A king who looks very much like Roy.
- Mistaken Identity: Roy is mistaken for him, which ultimately results in two assassins accidentally attacking Roy instead of him.
- Who's on First?: His country's name is used in one of these sequences, which ultimately culminates in Roy being mistaken for him (since Roy said he was "the king of nowhere", meaning not a king, and the hotel staff thought he said he was the King of the country called Nowhere.)
The King of Somewhere
Class: Unknown (probably Aristocrat)
A king staying at the Weary Travelers Inn and Tavern.
Alignment: Unknown (probably Evil)
The leader of a group of bandits in the Wooden Forest, she won the position from her father, and has turned the bandits into a vehicle for satisfying her urges.
- Bad Boss: A bit of chatter between two bandits establishes that when a bandit named Jim protested against the changes she was making, she responded by cutting off something that doesn't grow back. She's also willing to risk the lives of her followers just so they can abduct handsome men for her.
- Bandit Clan: She's the leader of such a group.
- Bratty Teenage Daughter: With the bonus of having magical powers which she can use to get her way.
- Card-Carrying Villain: She embraces violence, destruction, and mayhem without any shame or pretenses. Just look at her character quote.
- Challenging the Chief: She takes over leadership of the bandits by defeating her father in single combat.
- Color Motif: Her magical aura and all of her clothes are purple.
- Evil Is Petty: Samantha has a powerful and experienced melee fighter in her dad, magic powers, and a small army of bandits... and uses it all just to satisfy lazy whims and desires, including having the group kidnap attractive men for her.
- Evil Sorcerer: Magic powers, bad attitude, and even her father thinks she's "rotten to the core."
- Half the Woman She Used to Be: Miko cuts her in half when Samantha attempts to use her spells on Miko.
- Mugging the Monster: Her attempt to compel Miko magically to serve her doesn't exactly work out well for her at all.
- The Starscream: Prior to the events of the series, she usurps control of the bandits from her father.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Upon being freed by a stranger, Samantha's immediately attempts to enslave her rescuer magically.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Averted. Author Rich Burlew was less than pleased by fans asking this question and speculating about whether she and her father would later play a role in the comic, so he wrote a definitive end to their story.
Class: Unknown (though probably includes at least one level of Ranger)
The former leader of a group of bandits in Wooden Forest who is serving as the Number Two when the Order encounters the clan.
- Avenging the Villain: When Miko kills Samantha, he immediately attempts to avenge her. The difference in power makes it a Curb-Stomp Battle that does not end in his favor.
- Bandit Clan: He is the former leader of one.
- Challenging the Chief: He publicly declares that anyone who can beat him in single combat may take over leadership of the bandits. He comes to regret this when Samantha uses her magic to defeat him. He takes advantage of the trope, however, by waiting until Samantha has used up her high-level spells in battle and is low on HP before he challenges her.
- Dual Wielding: He prefers to use a pair of swords.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Despite their disagreements, he still cares for Samantha, as he instructs his followers to treat her gently after he knocks her out and also attempts to avenge her when she is killed by Miko.
- Karmic Thief: States that he originally set up the bandit clan to rob only rich and/or deserving targets.
- No Name Given: His proper name never appears in the comic, so he is simply referred to here as Samantha's dad.
- Number Two: He currently serves as this to Samantha, but disagrees with her and tries to take back leadership of the clan from her.
- Papa Wolf: Tries to attack Miko after she kills his daughter. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out well for him.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He is much more reasonable and approachable than his daughter. Both Haley and Miko initially have success by trying to reason with him, only for their efforts to be undone by Samantha herself.
- Rugged Scar: His most prominent feature is a large scar that adds extra evidence to his toughness.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Averted. Author Rich Burlew was less than pleased by fans asking this question and speculating about whether he and Samantha would later play a role in the comic, so he wrote a definitive end to their story.
Black Dragon family
Black Dragon Teenager
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
A teenage black dragon living in a cave containing the starmetal that Roy wants to use to reforge his sword.
- Irony: His mother taught him to speak lizard in order to improve his life; this ultimately got him killed when he was able to understand the polymorphed Vaarsuvius and thus could be mind-controlled by them.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Only appears for a few strips in what is otherwise a relatively minor story arc early in the comic, but Vaarsuvius killing him turns out to eventually have very wide-reaching consequences.
- To Serve Man: His response to sapient trespassers is to try eating them.
Black Dragon Mother
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
An ancient black dragon that is the mother of a teenage black dragon that Vaarsuvius killed. She seeks revenge upon Vaarsuvius for the death of her son.
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Tries desperately to surrender just before Vaarsuvius casts Familicide, even though by this point she's just a reanimated head and the fighting is conclusively over.
- Anti-Magic: Claims to be no slouch at spellcasting herself, but intentionally uses the spell Antimagic Field to remove V's ability to defend themself.Black Dragon: What would happen if we turned the magic off? ...Fascinating. It appears that you cease to be a mighty wizard and become a fragile, pointy-eared monkey. While I? I am still a dragon.
- Breath Weapon: As a black dragon, her breath weapon is a stream of acid, which Vaarsuvius barely avoids. Even mere droplets of spit from her are shown sizzling on the ground.
- Brought Down to Badass: As she points out after casting Anti-Magic, even though she's just disabled her arcane spellcasting, she is still a dragon.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: She was very close to her son, so naturally she didn't take his death well. And in turn she was very close to his father, before he was killed by adventurers and had his scales turned into a suit of armor for the party leader's use.
- Exploited Immunity: Despite being a proficient spellcaster with an interest in the arcane, she's perfectly willing to "turn the magic off" and rely solely her draconic brute strength to give herself an edge over Squishy Wizards.
- Fate Worse than Death: Attempts to deal one to V rather than just kill them by killing V's children and binding their souls to her before leaving the material plane forever. She gets hit with one in turn, when V casts Familicide and wipes out her entire family.
- Faux Affably Evil: She's very polite towards Vaarsuvius as she attacks them, complimenting the use of forcecage. But then she grapples V and gloats about how she'll first torture and then brutally murder Vaarsuvius's own children, then bind their souls to her for eternity, plus maybe skin the spouse alive and make a nice hat, for completion's sake.
- Laser-Guided Karma: She could have settled for simply killing Vaarsuvius to avenge her son's death, which they were ready and willing to accept, but she had to make it personal (and petty too) by threatening their family instead. Cue V making a Deal with the Devil (and the Daemon and Demon as well) for the power necessary to save their family and issuing her a Curb-Stomp Battle.
- Mama Bear: Her attack is solely to avenge her son and make Vaarsuvius pay by taking the lives of Vaarsuvius's children.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: If she'd kept her vengeance to V and called it a day, things would have ended there. Because she instead decided to make them suffer by targeting their family instead, once V gets the power to defeat her they are inspired to wipe out every single creature that could possibly make a claim of blood relation to her. This wipes out approximately one-quarter of black dragons alone, and incalculable numbers of non-dragon (yet related) beings. Although V does take the time to make sure she's very witting of what her actions caused before sending her off to the afterlife again.
- Villain Has a Point: While she is undeniably evil, she makes a valid point about adventurers treating dragons, including children, as nothing but prey.
- Would Hurt a Child: She plans on eating V's children alive, slowly and feet-first. And then bind their souls to prevent any resurrection. She considers this a fair trade, to make Vaarsuvius pay for killing her son. When V finally catches up to her at their cottage, she has already broken their legs.
- You Monster!: After being animated as a disembodied head, so Vaarsuvius can use Familicide on her entire line so no-one else will come their family, this is her response to Vaarsuvius who coldly replies "We're all somewhere in the Monster Manual aren't we?" before finishing her off for good.
- You're Nothing Without Your Phlebotinum: Traps Vaarsuvius in an Anti-Magic sphere to demonstrate to them how useless a Squishy Wizard is when Brought Down to Normal.
Class: Mage (illusionist)
Eugene Greenhilt's mentor. Fyron's murder by Xykon results in Eugene swearing a Blood Oath to track him down, which in turn directly leads to Roy forming the Order and setting out to stop Xykon once and for all.
- Compensating for Something: His opinion of sorcerers in general, to Xykon's annoyance.
- Cool Teacher: Eugene remembers him as a thoughtful teacher who encouraged curiosity and whose door was always open to him. If he didn't know the answer to a question off the top of his head, he and Eugene would figure it out through experiments rather than just look it up.
- Parental Substitute: Eugene outright says Fyron was more of a dad to him than his own father.
- Posthumous Character: Dead before the story begins.
- Squishy Wizard: While superior to human Xykon at spellcasting, he ultimately dies when Xykon bludgeons him to death with a Wizzy Award.
- Unequal Rites: Openly contemptuous of Xykon once he learns his opponent is not a mage, but is instead a sorcerer.
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
The Chief of Police in Cliffport, who finds himself in over his head when the Linear Guild begins slaughtering the populace.
- Da Chief: His archetype.
- Off with His Head!: Gets decapitated by Nale.
- Cigar Chomper: Is always seen smoking a cigar.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Other than the rookie, this is his general opinion on the other officers he's working with.Officer #1: [holding a map with multiple arrows made out of massacre victim locations pointing to the park] I think the killer might be trying to tell us something.
Officer #2: Yeah, but what?
Chief: I think the secret message is, "I need to toughen my hiring standards."
Class: Unknown (probably Warrior)
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
A junior police officer working on the Linear Guild murder investigation.
- Field Promotion: Takes over after the chief is killed.
- Hyper-Competent Sidekick: To the Cliffport Chief of Police. While he initially seems like a typical newbie officer, he is one of the few officers serving under him who is competent in his work, deciphering Nale's series of crimes and figuring out that they form several arrows pointing to the Cliffport city park. As such, when the Chief is decapitated by Nale, the Rookie informally takes charge of the CPPD.
- Took a Level in Badass: Went from throwing up at the sight of a crime scene to taking charge as the de facto leader of the CPPD forces arresting the Linear Guild.
Class: Unknown (possibly Fighter or Barbarian)
The chieftain of a tribe of orcs the Azurite scouts encounter during their quest to find a new home.
- all lowercase letters: Speaks in these.
- Chased by Angry Natives: He leads his tribe into a chase with the Order of the Stick and the Azurites.
- Parody Religion: He and his tribe begin worshipping Elan's hand puppet Banjo. As mentioned in the quote, they switch from Banjo to worshipping Giggles, Clown God of Slapstick (and another of Elan's puppet.)
- Punch-Clock Villain: Works for Qarr to capture and kill the Azurite scouts, but doesn't oppose them outside of his contract and even forms an alliance with them once Qarr flees.
- Third-Person Person: Like the other orcs, he refers to himself by his name instead of the pronoun 'I.'
The shaman of Grukgruk's tribe.
- all lowercase letters: Like Grukgruk, he speaks in these.
- Blind Obedience: Vurkle mentions that he's happy to have a new god because it was difficult to think for himself, so he'd rather a divine figure do it.
- Human Sacrifice: Attempts to sacrifice Lien to Banjo, the tribe's new puppet god.
- Parody Religion: He leads the tribe in worshipping Elan's hand puppet Banjo and later in worshipping Giggles.
- Virgin Sacrifice: Averted. Vurkle says Banjo prefers a woman with experience, as opposed to a virgin.
Crew of the Mechane
Yes, the ship herself. Despite only having a handful of appearances, she's already made a profound impact on the plot.
- Awesome McCoolname: Julio Scoundrél definitely knows his great and appropriately self-referential names.
- Boarding Party: Her crew fends off a boarding attempt by a swarm of Horusfolk, inhabiting an Ancient Egypt-themed setting, during Julio's salad days.
- Cool Airship: She looks exactly like the Blackjack from Final Fantasy VI.
- Death from Above: The Mechane is heavily armed, carrying ballistae and a store of firebomb grenades.
- Dressed to Plunder: Several crew members have typical pirate attires, such as eye patches and peg legs.
- Genre Savvy: Thanks to Julio's influence, they know better than to interfere in the "third-act duels".
- Global Airship: She fulfills this role, first for Elan in Book 3, then for the whole Order of the Stick from the end of Book 5 up to the beginning of Book 7.
- Heroic Neutral: You wouldn't expect the ship hersself to have an alignment, but alas. According to Julio (as relayed by the crew), the Mechane's nick-of-time arrival requires a good-faith effort at heroism — which means it can't be exploited to run away from a fight.
- Just in Time: She only arrives anywhere in the nick of time. Much like on the Discworld, however, you can't "cheat" and exploit this — you have to actually make the effort.
- Magitek: Downplayed by the Mechane herself. Her hull is enchanted for greater strength and lightness, and the helium for her balloon is summoned from the Elemental Plane of Air, but she otherwise operates according to mundane physical mechanics of lighter-than-air buoyancy and airfoil thrust.
- Schizo Tech: The Mechane is revealed to have electronic components in #949, and yet she's still armed with nothing more sophisticated than ballistae.
- The Sky Is an Ocean: Indeed, she appears to be a rather standard seagoing vessel with a giant balloon and an engine instead of sails. Bandana is unsure how seaworthy she could be when forced to do a water landing, so the trope is downplayed.
- Sky Pirates: Those exact words are used. Julio is the captain of an airship and her sky pirate crew. They engage in certain less-than-legal activities while adventuring.
- Traveling at the Speed of Plot: She flies faster the more is at stake, but is explicitly stated to only ever reach a destination in the nick of time. Even for dentist appointments.
- Wooden Ships and Iron Men: Evokes the time period, though instead of cannons, they use ballistae and firebombs.
Class: Dashing Swordsman
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
A swashbuckling adventurer who takes Elan briefly under his wing. Captain and owner of the Mechane.
- Badass Longcoat: His iconic look. He has a full collection of them.
- Big Damn Heroes: He appears to join the fight against Tarquin just when the Order looks completely defeated.
- The Bus Came Back: Or in his case, the Airship Came Back — in a dramatic unveiling of Elan's plan to turn the tables on his father.
- Captain Morgan Pose: In the panel describing his fame, he proudly takes this pose.
- The Casanova: He has a son and/or daughter in every port of the continent.
- Celebrity Endorsement: He advertises a brand of healing potion à la The Most Interesting Man in the World.
- Chick Magnet: Among certainly many others, both Laurin and Elan's mom had crushes on him.
- Dare to Be Badass: This is how Elan convinces him to help out against Tarquin. "Any hero can defy danger but only a special hero can defy the story itself."
- Dashing Hispanic: His first name, prestige class and mustache all allude to this trope.
- A Day in the Limelight: He has a short story all for himself in Snips, Snails and Dragon Tails, aiding a Damsel in Distress recover a priceless jewel. On an interesting side-note, he rescued said damsel from Tarquin.
- Defied Trope: He attempts to defy the standard mentor death by staying far away from Elan. Elan convinces him it'll be cooler if he shows up and defies the trope anyway. Indeed, the only reason he does so is specifically for the privilege of defying the trope.
- Disappeared Dad: Julio makes an offhand remark about having a son and/or daughter in every port on the continent, and one of the side-stories has him reminding people that he's got a separate PO box for legal issues for things like suing him for child support.
- Famed in Story: He's a world-famous sky pirate, renown ladies' man, and all-around dashing action hero. Just hearing the name of his airship is enough for Elan to identify him (no surprise as he's a bard, plus his mom is probably Julio's biggest fan).
- Foreshadowing: In the initial duel between Tarquin and Elan, the former offhandedly mentions that he's found a way to counter such pun-fighting techniques. Guess who shows up near the tail-end of the Empire of Blood arc?
- Genre Savvy: He's even more savvy than Tarquin at his best. He is well aware of the values of training montages, of iconic heroic images (longcoat, mustache, etc.), and especially of the fate that awaits the Mentor Archetype. Unlike Tarquin, he also knows the value of a Defied Trope at a dramatic moment — and understands not to be Genre Blind by being too Genre Savvy.
- Gentleman Thief: Combines this with The Casanova to great effect, as his character quote attests.
- A Girl in Every Port: Has a long-running fan club of "Julioteers" and "a son and/or daughter in every port on the continent", so he settles for gifting prized possessions to his protégé Elan rather than sort out which one is entitled to them.
- Good Hurts Evil: Or Chaos Hurts Lawfulness in the present case; Julio carries a Chaos Sabre, which gives Tarquin a painful wound.
- Ham-to-Ham Combat: Part of the Dashing Swordsman class — he teaches the rudiments of pun-combat to Elan.
- Hero of Another Story: Literally. There's a whole other story (in Stick Figure HD) about him in Snips, Snails and Dragon Tails. Also, there's a forthcoming Julio Scoundrél PDF that will invoke this.
- Improvised Training: He set up a fake training montage for Elan, complete with backgrounds to indicate a time lapse.Julio: Elan, never underestimate the value of a good training montage. It could save your life one day. Although I suppose I should get around to actually teaching you some of this...
- Impossibly Tacky Clothes: The fact that he isn't perpetually seen in a state of terrible fashion is because of Felix's tireless efforts.
- Informed Attractiveness: He held the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" for a time, yet like Elan (and everyone else, for that matter), he's a stick figure.
- In-Series Nickname: The "Julioteers" for Julio's female fans.
- I Shall Taunt You: To Tarquin, his old nemesis.Julio: I think that's half your problem, T — you always think everything that happens is about you!
- Just in Time: The only way he arrives for anything (including dentist appointments), is not a second early or late. It's only heroic.
- Loveable Rogue: The poster boy for the loveable rogue in the OotS universe. Literally — he has a poster.
- Magic Carpet: He owns a blue one, and even uses it in fights for mobility. He apparently stole it from Tarquin, who gouges it in half in their latest encounter during the Empire of Blood arc.
- Magic Wand: Always carries a wand of sending in his coat pocket.
- Master Swordsman: One of the top 100 swordsmen of the century.
- Mentor Archetype: For Elan — only during a few days, but this has considerable influence on Elan's Character Development.
- Mentor Occupational Hazard: He's Genre Savvy enough to try to avoid this. Though he can still be convinced to help out, as shown in episode #930. True to form, he defies it spectacularly in #933.Julio: Well, as an older mentor figure, the most likely scenario is that I'd return only to be randomly killed by an enemy of yours so that you can cradle my dying body while swearing revenge — so don't take it personally if I say that I sincerely hope we never cross paths again.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: His self-induced absence from the Mechane is probably the single greatest factor that allows Andi to become The Starscream and perpetrate The Mutiny against Bandana, who Julio had appointed as captain in his absence.
- Passing the Torch: Julio decides to hit the road and visit the Outer Planes, but not before giving his Chaos Sabre and control of the Mechane to Elan for the last leg of the Order's journey. This is hilariously done since the letter that he left to Elan has him doing the voice-over... with him standing right beside Elan.Elan: Oh man! I can't believe he left without saying goodbye! There's so much I wanted to tell him!
Haley: Well, you could just turn around. He's standing right behind you doing the voice-over through a can.
Elan: Farewell, brave captain! I know not when we shall see your like again!
Julio: "PS: Actually, maybe I better hit the head before I go."
- Prestige Class: Dashing Swordman. It compensates his average Strength and Dexterity scores by making Charisma his primary fighting attribute. It also gives special abilities that make him function like a movie-style action hero (such as jumping through windows without worrying about the broken glass bit). He ends up mentoring Elan in gaining a level in this class.
- Really Gets Around: Julio has a lot of success with the ladies. Using the protection that goes with it on the other hand...
- Royal Rapier: The weapon of choice of the Dashing Swordman. On his return in Book 5, he switched to a Chaos Sabre, which is close enough.
- Rule of Drama: A lot of the things he does are because they will make for a better story. When Elan finds out that Julio could have given Elan a sending wand to warn Haley that Nale was impersonating him but didn't because it would make for a better story (which is incidentally also why he didn't mention Elan's uncanny resemblance to one of his "B-List villains"), he has mixed feelings about it. After meeting a villain who also follows the rule of drama, Elan thinks that good stories aren't worth hurting people over.
- Silver Fox: He now has grey hair, unlike on the cover of Townspeople Weekly describing him as the "Sexiest Man Alive", but it's doubtful he's considered any less attractive.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Delivers a succinct, but very accurate one to Tarquin.Julio: I think that's half your problem, T — you always think everything is about you!
- Unlimited Wardrobe: Although he sticks to the Badass Longcoat look and V-neck shirt, he has lots of costumes, changing twice during Elan's 20-minute-long Training Montage. He does it on his return too, having changed clothes between receiving the sending and confronting Tarquin, and again afterward.Julio: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in desperate need of a wardrobe change.
- We Meet Again: "General Tarquin, we meet again!"
- A Year and a Day: In the Julio comic from Snips, Snails and Dragon Tails, the Mummy Queen informs him that her curse holds him for a hundred years and a day.
Beatrix "Bandana" Secundus
Pilot and acting captain of Julio Scoundrél's Cool Airship Mechane.
- Ace Pilot: Looks that way. She succeeded her father on this post. Her efforts in pitching and rolling the ship contribute in keeping Tarquin from climbing back onboard.
- Action Girl: Handy with a shortsword, an excellent pilot, and almost as Genre Savvy as Julio himself. There's a reason she's his second-in-command.
- But Not Too Black: Her mother is a fair-skinned blonde, and her father is black. As a result, Bandana is lightly dark-skinned and brown-haired.
- The Captain: Effectively, since Julio's departure from the Mechane.
- Cool Big Sis: Haley attempts to be this to Bandana when she gets in charge, since Haley knows that leadership roles and Rogues don't usually mix well (especially with her own prior experience). However, Bandana has been working her whole life to being a Captain and is handling the position of leadership better than Haley expected (and better than Haley's performance as a leader). Bandana is still appreciative of the consideration, though.
- Death Glare: After reclaiming the ship from Andi, Bandana initially tries to act like nothing happened and gives Andi an order. Andi, surprised, responds with "Uh, sure." She is then on the receiving end of a coldly furious stare, which naturally leads to:Andi: ... [meekly] Yes, captain.
- Determinator: Knew from the time she was a girl that she wanted to command her own ship, despite her father being an enlisted member of Julio's crew. She views captaining the Mechane as merely a jumping off point to getting her own ship.
- A Father to His Men: In this case, A Mother to Her Men — after Julio's departure, when she takes over as acting Captain, it's clear she cares a lot about the crew.Haley: [after shooting the Mechane's control console with frost arrows] ...I didn't just make that worse, did I?
Bandana: Worry 'bout it when all my people are safe.
- Foil: To Haley herself. Haley offers to help Bandana get acclimated to command, based on her experience as a leader in the Azure City Resistance. Turns out, however, that Bandana's been planning for command her whole life, and doesn't suffer the usual Rogue hangups about being in a position of authority. Nonetheless, she's grateful for Haley's offer.
- Generation Xerox: Followed in the footsteps of her father, Fidel Secundus, Julio's previous Ace Pilot and Number Two.
- Genre Savvy: To be expected from Julio's second-in-command. She immediately realizes that, despite it being her ship, the Order, and more specifically Elan, have the current say when escaping Tarquin.
- Jurisdiction Friction: Sensibly avoided when the Order boards the Mechane. In most day-to-day matters while they're on board, Roy usually defers to her since she's Captain. In turn, Beatrix is savvy enough to realize that in matters specifically relating to world-saving, it's probably a good idea to defer to the heroes responsible for sorting it out.
- Meaningful Name: Beatrix comes from the Latin word for "traveler", while "Secundus" is (literally speaking) Latin for "second", but can also mean "trusted right-hand man" (both fit, since she's the second in her family, after her father, to work under Julio and, as her father was, his trusted first mate — turned acting captain). But her chosen nickname makes her "Bandana" Secundus, suggesting the expression "second banana", which reflects her narrative role on the Mechane when we first meet her. Her father's name, Fidel Secundus, literally means "faithful second" but again suggests "second fiddle", which means the same thing.
- Nerves of Steel: Keeps her cool (and remains an effective officer) under pressure, barely flinching when both the Mechane's engines fail and things start exploding. When she and Haley are attacked by a reanimated Crystal, she immediately counters with what she gauges to be the most effective weapon, while chatting with Haley.
- Neutral No Longer: Tells the crew that they can't just stay their Chaotic Neutral way of pirating anymore with the world on the balance, even if she doesn't understand it well herself. She then tells them they need to suck it up and do something about it rather than just relying on the heroes to do so.
- Number Two: She is Julio's first officer when introduced.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: "Bandana" is a nickname she came up with as a child. Her parents are Fidel Secundus (from Snips, Snails, and Dragon Tails) and Lakaita Secundus, so she likely shares their surname.
- Pirate Girl: Considering the Troperiffic nature of the Mechane and her crew (Bandana included), she's a very mild example. She's been dreaming of becoming a sky-pirates captain since age eight, however.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: To her crew. After the brief mutiny that Andi leads, when the dust settles she makes it clear that given the stressful circumstances she's willing to let bygones be bygones and move on as if nothing had happened... while also making it abundantly clear to those who need to know that if anything of the kind does happen again, she will not be as lenient the next time.
- Remember the New Guy?: Her and Elan's initial reaction indicates that they met when Julio initially trained Elan to be a Dashing Swordsman, but she's never actually appeared before page #933.
- Self-Made Woman. She grew up on the Mechane, watching her parents be ordered around by Julio and his officers, and resolved that she'd give the orders one day. Now she can, as acting captain and she plans to get her own ship, in good time.
- Straight Gay: She mentions an ex-girlfriend when loaning Haley some of said ex's armor. Word of the Giant confirms that she is gay rather than bisexual.
- Tough Love: Shown when she was tied up and had to reassure the crew. While lampshaded how it wasn't really comforting, she says that it's because of the serious matter at hand. She brings up they can be Neutral No Longer and become more involved in the world affairs. However, it's clear that she does this because she cares for the crew and knows they need to do this for their own good. She does imply she could be traditionally comforting, but would only do so for her girlfriend.
Class: Unknown (possibly Rogue)
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
The Mechane's electrical engineer and helmsman.
- Ace Pilot: Once Bandana ascends to acting captain, he takes over as chief helmsman, though he doesn't hesitate to surrender the helm to Bandana herself or to junior crew members when the situation calls for it.
- Dreadlock Rasta: His hairstyle, making him easy to visually identify among the crew.
- The Engineer: Apparently supervises the Mechane's engines and electronic components, making him one.
- Explosive Instrumentation: In a Shout-Out to Star Trek, his command console explodes in his face after the Mechane is hit by lightning.
- The Fashionista: He was Julio Scoundrél's personal sartorial adviser, and when picking winter gear for the Order he takes care in choosing the right sizes and color schemes. Of course, being part of a pirate crew certainly makes him an Action Fashionista too. Apparently, Julio's taste in clothing was so bad, the fact that Felix managed to become a competent pilot between fixing Julio's frequent assaults on good taste in clothing is a testament to his work ethic.
- Number Two: After Bandana becomes acting captain, he becomes the new first officer.
- Serious Business: Fashion is this for him. He can't let his captain go on an adventure while dressed in tacky clothes. Even when the Mechane is under attack from boulder-chucking giants and just a few impacts from falling out of the sky, Felix's reaction is bafflement at the giants' lack of sartorial creativity.Felix: Would it kill them to break up all that blue and grey with a few gold accents to pull their ensembles together? [crew glares at him] What? You think a splash of fuschia would pop better?
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Is initially unhappy about working with Elan to effect repairs, due to Elan's, shall we say, unorthodox medical procedure, but they're seen getting along once they've started.
- Tranquil Fury: His retaliation against Andi's mutiny and provocations here is to serenely and calmly ask for Andi's pay to be forfeited here.
Class: Unknown (possibly Rogue)
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
Chief engineer of the Mechane.
- Berserk Button: Damage the ship after she's fixed it. Downplayed in that, when Belkar explained that he wanted to make stakes to use against Vampire Durkon, she offers him scrap wood to use.
- Captain Obvious: This little moment:Mateo: ANDI!!! Which way do I go around this mountain?!?
Andi: What? Uh, which way has more room to —
Mateo: Andi, if I could tell, I wouldn't be asking!
Andi: But... I don't know that we can fit through either side!
Mateo: Yes I know that is the nature of the dilemma thank you!
- Commander Contrarian: Her irrational dislike of Bandana gets to the point that she declares any point Bandana makes must automatically be wrong, because it's Bandana's.
- Dude, Where's My Reward?: Considers herself to have more of a "claim" to the captaincy of the Mechane than Bandana does, on the grounds of having substantially longer service aboard the ship.
- The Engineer: The Mechane's chief engineer, with fifteen years of experience patching it up.
- Gadgeteer Genius: Cannibalizes the Mechane's starboard engine to repair her port engine, getting her to half speed where she had been dead in the air and losing altitude.
- Genre Savvy: She's the one to remind the crew about Julio's orders concerning PCs' duels. Also, like Belkar, she thinks it's a bad idea to have Vampire Durkon walking around. She's right.
- Humble Pie: The swift reversal of her mutiny has resulted in an equally swift decline in snide criticisms of Bandana's leadership and a marked increase of meek uses of the phrase "Yes, captain."
- She's very insistent on the captain listening to others' opinions, as long as she's one of those people offering opinions rather than the captain herself. After knocking out Bandana and taking over, she cuts Bandana off by snidely remarking that Bandana's changed her mind about "the captain" listening to others, then she proceeds to ignore Kweisi and Mateo's warnings about the ship having lost altitude.
- Her claim that she's entitled to be captain because she's older than Bandana is countered when Carol points out that she's even older than both of them, and therefore logically has even more right to be captain. Andi immediately claims that it doesn't count because Carol is a half-elf.
- She indignantly whines that Bandana constantly criticizing her attempts at leadership from the sidelines instead of doing something more constructive isn't helping matters. Of course, not only has criticizing Bandana's leadership from the sidelines been her major contribution since Bandana took over, she is also the reason Bandana can only criticize instead of doing something more constructive.Bandana: Guess we'll put self-awareness on the list of stuff we're running short on, right after lift gas and options. And licks of common sense.
- It's All About Me: Her grudge against Bandana spurs her mutiny against the younger woman (due to Bandana being a handful for her back when Bandana was eight and she babysat her at fifteen), feeling she automatically knows better than Bandana in any and all situations, and that things would go much better if Bandana listened to her.
- Just a Kid: Andi refuses to see Bandana as anything but the child she had to babysit years ago and serves as the crux for her antagonism toward her.
- Karma Houdini: Subverted. After her mutiny fails, Bandana makes it clear she won't tolerate any more shenanigans from her and, drawing inspiration from Felix, she decides her share of the pay will be split among the rest of the crew instead.Bandana: And as for you, now that we're out safely — that's Strike One.
Andi: ...What... What happens on Strike Three?
Bandana: Nuthin'. 'Cause you won't make it past Strike Two.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: When Andi sees that Bandana convinced the rest of the crew to untie her while Andi was distracted fixing an engine problem, she immediately puts up her arms in surrender.
- Leader Wannabe: While she often claims to be more fitting to run the ship, she quickly turns out to be very incompetent when compared to Bandana. Not only does she not even have seniority (there's a half-elf crew member), she proves to be indecisive, lacking the ability to command, and being more concerned with tying up Bandana than the approaching mountains. When Bandana points out that her gripe is rooted in being the former's old babysitter than any decision Bandana made presently, Andi's rebuttal is simply childish. Shortly afterwards, she shows herself to be completely willing to ignore the expertise of the crew (which she herself claimed Bandana was doing), which results in Roy losing the Greenhilt family sword and possibly some more damage to the ship. Ultimately, it's made pretty clear that Andi's "mutiny" has the support of no-one except herself, and the only reason it lasts as long as it does is that everyone has bigger fish to fry at that point than putting her back in her place; the very second her back is turned and things have calmed down a bit, everyone turns on her.
- My God, What Have I Done?: She looks genuinely horrified after whacking Bandana with a wrench in a moment of fury.
- No Badass to His Valet: Deconstructed Trope — most of the crew recognize Bandana as a capable captain chosen by Julio to help the Order of the Stick complete their mission. Andi, however, still views her as the kid who gave her trouble during her studies back when she babysat her. The deconstruction starts when we realistically see what happens when someone maintains this view and refuses to recognize change. This attitude makes Andi reluctant to follow Bandana and gripe about how she should be in charge. Eventually, she knocks Bandana out in a mutiny... before proceeding to make things worse and proving herself to be an incapable captain. While she fixes the engines, Bandana regains control and proceeds to fix the issues quickly.
- Oh, Crap!: After her mutiny, Mateo asks her where to go since she sent them to a dead end.
- Peek-a-Bangs: This hairstyle makes her easily recognizable amongst the crew.
- The Peter Principle: She's an excellent chief engineer and invaluable in that role, but, when she seizes command of the ship, she quickly proves to be a poor captain: specifically, she tries to apply methods and viewpoints she used as an engineer to commanding the ship despite the fact that they don't translate well; she's indecisive at critical times; she tends to get so bogged down in details that she misses the big picture (at one point she runs off to fix a problem with the engines, leaving the ship momentarily leaderless); and, her abrasive style results in her failing to make the most of the crew's talents and ignoring the areas of expertise that other crew members have.
- Sarcastic Devotee:
- Been this to Bandana ever since she was left in charge of the Mechane. She has to be constantly reminded that it's Captain Bandana now. She considers Bandana's position as Captain to be temporary experience-building, and believes that she has more of a claim to the ship if Julio retires for real.
- She's on the receiving end when she clobbers Bandana with a wrench and takes over the ship. It's immediately clear that she's out of her depth and the only reason anyone's following her is because they have bigger fish to fry at this point, but everyone makes a point of getting very snippy with her.
- Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up: Her entire beef with Bandana is that she was the latter's babysitter back when she was fifteen and resents her for having been a difficult-to-manage child... when the latter was eight years old.
- The Starscream: Ultimately, when she disagrees too vehemently with Bandana's assessment of the frost giant-filled pass, she smashes her wrench against her head and seizes control of the ship.
- Sudden Name Change: Andi was named Sally at first, but The Giant retconned her name and jokingly feigned ignorance about the change.
- Wrench Wench: Andi is the ship's chief engineer and handy woman, and she has been able to repair major damage to the ship's engines on several occasions.
Class: Unknown (possibly Rogue)
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
The Mechane's aeronautical engineer.
- Casual Danger Dialog: Kwesi would rather work out who's fault it is that giants are attacking the Mechane than worry about falling out of the sky in a flaming wreck.Andi: We're doomed if they target the engines!
Carol: How are there even this many giants in one place?
Kwesi: Yeah, what'd those adventurers do to piss them off?
- Deadpan Snarker: Mortal peril doesn't bother Kwesi nearly as much as not being able to get the Mechane to do what she wants it to do.Andi: This is insane! These giants are going to knock us out of the sky!!
Kwesi: Tell me about it.
- The Engineer: Bandana looks to Kwesi to manage the Mechane's airworthiness and altitude.
Class: Unknown (possibly Rogue)
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
The Mechane's junior helmsman.
- Ace Pilot: Not to the degree of Bandana or Felix, but Bandana relies on him in a pinch when Felix is managing the Mechane's electronics.
- Determinator: When a giant's thrown rock smashes into the bridge, only he and Bandana manage not to go flying. Mateo hangs onto the helm with his fingertips, but doesn't let go. Also pilots with his tongue sticking out in effort.
Class: Unknown (possibly Rogue)
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Good)
Another crew member of the Mechane.
- Half-Human Hybrid: She's an half-elf. However, the gag of half-elven ancestry being figured by a pointy ear on only one side, like with Pompey, has been phased out from the comic by this point (or it's just hidden by her hair).
- Nice Girl: She's the first to move in order to help any crew member or guest that's been wounded. After Haley got her arm broken by Tarquin, she offers her own bandana to make a sling. She and Haley shares a parting hug when the Order leaves the ship.
- Older Than They Look: Being a half-elf, she's older than any of her human crewmates (except maybe Julio) while still looking quite young. Andi argues that doesn't count in matters of seniority.
Alignment: True Neutral
Tiamat's Oracle of the Sunken Valley is a snarky kobold with a dislike for Belkar specifically and everyone in general.
- All-Powerful Bystander: His Seer powers allow him to figure out basically anything there is to be known, but 99% of the time he has no interest in helping the Order beyond the point where they're willing to pay for his aid. He sometimes even does things that directly screw them over, tipping off the Black Dragon to V's location, goading Belkar into attacking him and activating the Mark of Justice, and refusing to help Roy's ghost communicate with Haley and Celia being the primary examples.
- Back from the Dead: It takes him all of maybe three minutes; being an oracle, he sets up his resurrections in advance, down to the minute of death.
- Crazy-Prepared: Seeing the future allows him to always have the magic item he needs on hand.
- Call-Forward: With his precognitive powers and tendency to ramble, he often makes references to events that haven't happened yet. Take this exchange with Eugene Greenhilt in Start of Darkness;
- Deadpan Snarker: At each and every customer, or at least the ones he doesn't respect. For instance, when Roy gives his overly specific question, he responds, "you've outsmarted yourself at least."
- Death Is Cheap: He's been killed by angry clients any number of times, but has a contract agreement with a pair of spellcasters that teleport in to revive him whenever it happens. That being said, death is still painful.Oracle: I think the halfling dulls his blades just to make it hurt more.
- Ensemble Dark Horse: Invoked by the Oracle during his Fourth Wall Aside to "Oracle fans".
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Just "Oracle" or "the Oracle of Sunken Valley".
- Everyone Has Standards: The Oracle will see just about everyone, but he will be conveniently away when Xykon comes a-callin'.
- Exact Words: He tends to use them in his prophecies with people he doesn't particularly fancy. When Belkar asks if he'll cause the death of Roy, Miko, Miko's horse, V or the Oracle himself, he simply answers "Yes." He later explains he did cause the death of Roy and Miko tangentially, then concedes he was bullshitting, but after Belkar stabs him the prophecy is completed.
- Fantastic Racism: "You mammals are disgusting..." It explains why he answers Blackwing's question normally, instead of a Mathematician's Answer.
- Foreseeing My Death: Naturally, due to his abilities, and he has hired a wizard and a cleric to teleport to his location and provide him with a raise dead or resurrection spell at very specific times. If he sees himself dying by violence, he'll also try to find some way to screw with his murderer, such as tricking Belkar into activating his Mark of Justice.
- Foreshadowing: That's his job, being an oracle and all. He's foreshadowed very important happenstances, like Roy's and Elan's "family reunions" (Nale kidnapping Julia in Cliffport) and, quite early, even Belkar's incoming demise.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: "Fourth Wall Aside" demonstrates that his oracle vision can see the fourth wall in addition to the future.
- High-Altitude Interrogation: He was dangled out a window by Roy and Durkon, as seen in a flashback, before conceding them a third question.
- I See Dead People: Though at first he pretends not to, in order to snub Roy's ghost. When he reveals he can perceive ghosts, it's a Poke in the Third Eye since Roy assumed no living person could hear or see him — which was true, but the Oracle read the graphic novels.
- Jerkass: Downplayed. Given proper respect, or maybe as a favor to fellow reptiles or followers of Tiamat, he is quite genial. The Order tends to be abusive to him, which results in him treating them poorly.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: His interactions with the Order are mutually abusive, with him being a snarky jerk who charges a lot for potentially vague and meaningless answers should the questioner not be specific enough, and the Order threatens and enacts physical violence on him for being that way. However, he's got a vested interest in the Order succeeding against Xykon so when Roy gives a very specific question that excludes what he actually wants, the Oracle tries to convince Roy to rephrase the question and is ignored. Meanwhile, his interactions with his fellow reptilians are quite genial. He worships Tiamat, so he's also very friendly with chromatic dragons.
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: Visitors to the Sunken Valley remember his prophecies, but nothing else about their visit due to a charm, including the Oracle's true identity. This spell nearly keeps the Order from returning to Azure City to defend it from Xykon's attack, but it also keeps Belkar from getting kicked out of the Order and left to die from his curse after he kills the Oracle. He dismisses Roy's ghost in such a way, however, that he remembers his encounter with the Oracle. (Of course, Roy's memories get hazy anyway when he's resurrected.)
- Lizard Folk: He's a kobold.
- Magic Wand: Uses one to banish Ghost Roy back to the afterlife. Being an Expert, Use Magic Device is presumably one of his chosen class skills.
- Mathematician's Answer:
- The Oracle's answers can be extremely literal. He gives one to Belkar, to the halfing's disgust, and gave one to Roy during his first visit.Oracle: Hey, "in his throne room," was a perfectly legitimate answer to the question "Where is Xykon?"
- Thanks to that incident, Roy is smart enough to have a specifically-worded question prepared, to prevent the Oracle from doing this during his second visit. Unfortunately, Roy's question is so specifically-worded that he manages to outsmart himself. The Oracle does try to warn him.
- The Oracle's answers can be extremely literal. He gives one to Belkar, to the halfing's disgust, and gave one to Roy during his first visit.
- Medium Awareness: Higher than any other characters in the comic, which is saying something. In fact, he says he understands Haley while she was dealing with a language affliction only because he reads the graphic novels (which haven't been printed at that point) and saw the translations there. In his meeting with Eugene he points out that they're meeting in a flashback nested in a callback in a prequel book already, so it's unlikely they'll meet again. When saying Belkar will die within the year, he breaks the fourth wall and winks to camera to tell readers it's an In-Universe year.
- Metaphorically True: His argument for Belkar's prophecy fulfilled on their second visit. It becomes literally true immediately after, as one of the people Belkar asked if he'd end up killing was the Oracle himself.
- Omniglot: A special case. He can tell what Haley is saying despite the Cypher Language because he can look into the future when the translations are included in the book. He can also understand Blackwing's caws.
- Non-Mammal Mammaries: Specifically mentions getting to second base with another kobold. Eugene asks how that's possible if she's a reptile.
- Power Floats: During the oracular trance, he floats above the ground.
- Prophecy Twist: The Oracle has given eight prophecies to the Order (excluding "in his throne room"), and all of them except Haley's either had a twist to them or have yet to be fulfilled in-comic.
- Roy asked whether Xykon would go to Girard's Gate or Kraagor's Gate first. The Oracle replied that Xykon would go to Girard's Gate first. Unfortunately, Xykon gets there seconds before it explodes, and the Order doesn't need to protect it from Xykon at all.
- Durkon asked when he would return to his homeland. The Oracle responded, "posthumously". Unfortunately, Durkon becomes a vampire and goes back as part of a plan to destroy the universe.
- Vaarsuvius asked how V would obtain complete and ultimate arcane power. The Oracle said, "by saying the right four words to the right being at the right time for the wrong reasons". Unfortunately, the power V obtains, while technically being "complete and ultimate", is full of limitations, completely temporary, and the catalyst of consequences that will follow Vaarsuvius for the rest of V's natural life and possibly beyond. Also, one of the words was more of a stutter.
- Belkar asked if he would "cause the death" of Roy, Miko, Windstriker, Vaarsuvius, or the Oracle himself. The Oracle just said, "yes", without specifying which. Unfortunately, Belkar ends up killing the Oracle just before Haley and Celia could ask him a very important question, and the Oracle — having seen this coming — uses it to trigger a curse on Belkar that makes him incredibly sick, turning him into The Load.
- Elan asked whether the story had a happy ending. The Oracle answered, "yes, for you at least". Unfortunately, the "happy ending" is actually part of an illusion-trap protecting Girard's Gate, and while Elan is in it, he realizes that perfect happy endings are a little naive. Whatever will happen, will happen, but the fantasy he wished for — his family getting back together — won't. Especially considering what happens to Nale. However, Word of God has stated that Elan will get a genuine happy ending at the actual end of the story.
- Religion is Magic: Played with. He worships Tiamat and owes his precognitive abilities to her, but he's not a cleric as is normally standard for this trope in D&D settings.
- Revenge: He gets his over Belkar, who is cursed by the Mark of Justice to never harm a living being within a settlement, by creating the town of LickMyOrangeBallsHalfling. [Founded: Last week. Population: Just Enough.]
- Rule of Funny: Invoked, as usual. The Oracle admits he considered calling the aforementioned kobold town ShouldHaveCheckedAMap but decided to go blue instead.
- Seers: Probably the most well-known and reputed oracle in the OotS world (although not many people know he's a kobold).
- Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: It happens, such as with Belkar. He predicts that Belkar will kill him and then ticks him off to the point that he does, and activates the Mark of Justice.
- Shoot the Messenger: This happens to him often enough that he schedules his resurrections in advance.
- Speech Bubbles: His normal (white) speech bubbles turn green when entering the trance and doing a prediction; incidentally this answer is all the petitioner will remember.
- Your Mom: After Roy's keep insulting his mom to see if he can see his ghost form, the Oracle finally reveals he was aware by calling Roy's mom a slut.
Alignment: Lawful Good
A paladin who employed Elan as his herald until Elan's idiocy screwed up François' plans one too many times.
- Ascended Extra: Interestingly, he's been featured in the end-of-year calendar collections, consisting of short character vignettes, more often than nearly any other character with so little page time. Apparently, he and Elan went on a surprising number of adventures together before he finally abandoned Elan in the prequel book On the Origin of PCs.
- Ditch the Bodyguards: Escapes from Elan, who tries to act in a bodyguard-like role (but is terrible at it). That being said, he still has the decency to do this in a safe, if somewhat seedy town, where Elan is not in immediate danger, instead of somewhere in the wilderness.
- Madness Mantra: The above quote, which he repeats while struggling with the temptation of ditching his vows to put an end to source of all his frustrations — Elan.
- The Paladin: A seriously played one, to the extent that he's willing to call out other adventurers who kill monsters just because they live in a cool dungeon.
Alignment: Unknown (probably True Neutral)
A veteran ranger from the Peripheral Frontier. Her family is trying to get into Azure city's territory to escape the Realm of the Dragon, which is invading the Frontier. She volunteers to help O-Chul deal with the hobgoblin incursions on the Azurite border in exchange for a recommendation from the military that Azure city's immigration authorities let their family in.
- Action Mom: Being a mother doesn't stop her from being a highly skilled combatant and tracker.
- Ambiguously Brown: She has dark skin and her appearance borrows from several different real world traditions. She wears a head scarf reminiscent of a hijab, and also has what appears to be a hindu bindi marked on her forehead.
- Anti-Hero: She's a rather ruthless Unscrupulous Hero. She has few compunctions or moral qualms about killing people, is quite willing to use violence without exhausting all other possibilities, and freely admits that she doesn't give much of a damn about anyone other than her family.
- Crazy-Prepared: She believes in being ready for worst-case scenarios. She has apparently been giving her son extensive training in self-defense with real knives. She mentions that she has been teaching him in this manner since he was five. As such, when she's away, she appoints the pre-teen boy to be the family's protector.
- Deadpan Snarker: She can be cuttingly sarcastic, sometimes without ever changing her expression or giving any sign that she's not being sincere.Saha Kapoor: Your humility is refreshing, and I am moved by your frank personal assessment of your shortcomings.
Zhou: Wow, really?
Saha Kapoor: No, you sound like a buffoon.
Zhou: Is "buffoon" a compliment in your country?
Saha Kapoor: Only insofar as it ranks slightly above "moron" and "dumbass".
- Dual Wielding: She dual-wields her kukris and shows skill with both hands. The only hint that she's not completely ambidextrous is when she attacks the Ettin: she attempts to cut off both heads simultaneously but only gets one because she misses the slice with her "off hand".
- Kukris Are Kool: She fights with two kukris that, when thrown, return to her like boomerangs.
- Morality Pet: Her husband and family are this to her. She is a gentle and loving wife and mother around them, the rest of the time she's a stone-cold badass.
- Precision-Guided Boomerang: Her kukris return to her hand after being thrown, no matter how far they've gone or who they've killed.
- Scarily Competent Tracker: One of her ranger skills. She is excellent at tracking down the hobgoblins and others that O-Chul is trying to find.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Another of her ranger skills. She talks to several animals while working with O-Chul.
- Talk to the Fist: She pulls this several times, most memorably on the Ettin, when she cuts off the brutish head while the more "sophisticated" one is in the middle of speaking.
- Violence Really Is the Answer: She believes in this. Although she says that her first inclination is to avoid trouble, if she can't avoid it, she believes that the answer is then to destroy it efficiently and completely. Moral hangups about killing other intelligent beings are for wimps.
Phil Rodriguez and Jones
Phil Rodriguez: How about Witch vs. Gale?
Mr. Jones: Hmmmm. Yeah, OK, but East, not West.
Alignment: Lawful Neutral (Jones), Unknown (Rodriguez)
Messrs. Jones and Rodriguez — attorneys at law. Two lawyers who enforce copyright for Wizards of the Coast, they also sometimes take court cases.
- Amoral Attorney: It's implied that the only reason Jones keeps Rodriguez around is so that the latter's record can absorb all losses in court, keeping the former's record flawless. 5-0 for Jones, 0-180-ish for Rodriguez.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Phil Rodriguez is about as cuckoo as Elan, as seen from his very first appearance.
- The Comically Serious: Jones is a never-smiling, serious man, to better contrast with his ditzy partner and the ridiculous situations they're put in.
- Cuteness Proximity:Rodriguez: Ohmygod!!! You have a kitty!!!
- Hilarity Sues: Their main role is suing for comedy.
- I've Got an X, and I'm Not Afraid to Use It!: When the two are confronted by brigands...Mr. Jones: Get back! I have a restraining order and I'm not afraid to use it!
- Never My Fault: Jones is an incompetent who uses Rodriguez to pass on all the blame for his failures as a lawyer.
- No Fourth Wall: All of the characters are aware of the fourth wall, but the lawyers are explicitly from outside the comic strip. They were originally introduced for the purpose of carrying off anything that might be a violation of copyright (including a Mind Flayer and a Drizzt clone).
- Recurring Extra: You can never tell when they'll show up for a gag. They even get once mixed up with the Flumphs.
- Smart Jerk and Nice Moron: Mr. Jones is a walking Evil Lawyer Joke, who throws legal impediments in the path of the Order (except when they retain his services; he's a professional). Phil Rodriguez is affable and dimwitted, regularly committing legal gaffes and Malapropisms. Whenever they lose a case, Mr. Jones manipulates the court transcript so that Mr. Rodriguez is listed as primary counsel, allowing Mr. Jones to maintain a "perfect" record at trial.Mr. Rodriguez: Aww, man! That means my record will fall to 0-147.
Mr. Jones: Naturally, I remain perfect at 5-0.
Alignment: Lawful Good
A pair of bizarre aberrations left over from D&D 1st edition. Originally kept as part of Dorukan's menagerie of discontinued monsters, the flumphs escaped the dungeon's destruction after Xykon's defeat. Ever since, they keep running into the oblivious main characters... who keep landing on them from great heights.
- Brick Joke: They once swap places with The Lawyers, so they get crushed by a falling character while the flumphs pretend to be lawyers in court.
- The Chew Toy: They exist solely as landing cushions for the main characters.
- Living Crashpad: Their lot in life.
- Not Quite Flight: They're floating a bit above the ground thanks to their bizarre aberration anatomy (something about buoyant gases in their bodies according to the original Fiend Folio).
- Our Ghosts Are Different: They are joined, for a strip, by the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past, who looks like a Chained by Fashion Flumph. He soon serves as an incorporeal crashpad for Roy's ghost falling from Heaven.
- Recurring Extra: You can never tell when they'll show up for a gag. They even once get mixed up with the Lawyers.
- Running Gag: Someone falling on them.
- Shoo Out the Clowns: Played with and lampshaded all to hell. When Roy dies, one of the Flumphs feels that he has to be somewhere as a gag. Then you realize how many times the Flumphs have saved the lives of all the people who landed on them.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: They get a reprieve from the constant mistreatment in Book 6, where they are left untouched while crossing the Dwarven lands, since technically they aren't trespassing because they're levitating and never touching the ground.Flumph: Why can't more places we visit treat us this well?
Left head: I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY GIANT CLUB!!
Alignment: Unknown (presumably Evil)
A two-headed giant encountered by O-Chul and his party during their search for the hobgoblin base.
- Angrish: The left head talks more or less exclusively in angry shouts.
- Carry a Big Stick: Likes to use a club as a weapon.
- Faux Affably Evil: The right head. During the fight he uses a reasonable tone, but when Saha kills the left head, he furiously calls her a bitch and attacks her.
- Jekyll & Hyde: It invokes this as a deliberate tactic. The left head goes on a rampage while the right head pretends to speak reasonably and engage whatever it's attacking. This just serves to distract the target and make it easier to kill.
- Moving the Goalposts: The right head does this repeatedly when others try to talk to it and get it to stop attacking. Naturally this is part of the Ettin's strategy for attacking people as detailed under Faux Affably Evil and Jekyll & Hyde.
- Never My Fault: The right head insists that he shouldn't be blamed for the bad language and physical assaults of the left head.
- Satire: Of Internet trolls. The left head just screams insults and attacks, while the right head throws out a series of obviously inane arguments (e.g., that him trying to stop the left head from attacking would be a violation of the left head's rights, or that his victims can't "prove" he attacked them without evidence).
Alignment: Neutral Evil
A heavily templated snail and primary antagonist of the Dragon magazine comics.
- All Trolls Are Different: A half-troll that is also a snail.
- The Cameo: It is seen on a rock to the left of the Snowlem in the "Must Have Been Some Magic..." wallpaper.
- Dracolich: Due to being both a vampire and "half"-dragon.
- Flight: It has two wings on its back, allowing it to fly.
- Hybrid-Overkill Avoidance: A big parody of the concept.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Vampiric Half-Dragon Half-Troll Lycanthropic Fiendish Phrenic Snail.
- Psychic Powers: As a phrenic creature, it has psi-like abilities.
- Our Demons Are Different: A fiendish creature that is also a snail.
- Our Dragons Are Different: A half-dragon that is also a snail.
- Our Vampires Are Different: A vampire that is also a snail.
- Our Werebeasts Are Different: Can change into a slightly hairier snail.
- Raising the Steaks: A vampire snail.
- Shown Their Work: This is actually a completely legal stack of templates in D&D 3.5 (though it would have no wings because it isn't large-sizednote ). The "lycanthropic" template can only be applied to a Humanoid or Giant (which the Snail becomes by being Half-Troll). There is a special "vampiric" template that can only be applied to Dragons (which the Snail becomes by becoming Half-Dragon afterward).
- Too Many Halves: Six.