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     Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters 


Played by: Mark Douglas (Ray Stantz), Chris Gorbos (Peter Venkman), Zach Sherwin (Egon Spengler), Walt Downing (Winston Zeddemore), Brooke "Dodger" Lawson (Janine Melnitz)
"Ghostbusters, flow crushers, get the job done!"

  • Berserk Button: After Grant comments on Ray getting his cherry popped by a ghost, a brief cut shows that Egon and Venkman are holding Ray back from doing something rash.
  • Boring Insult: Their first line is to accuse the Mythbusters of making crashes and explosions boring.
  • The Cameo: Dodger makes a brief appearance as their secretary, Janine Melnitz to say, "We got one!"
  • Creepy Monotone: Egon speaks in a emotionless tone during the first verse.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: In the Season 4 trailer, they deliver this to Hitler's ghost by trapping and sealing him in seconds and without trouble.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Again, Egon snarks at the Mythbusters with a straight face.
  • Goggles Do Nothing: Stantz wears goggles on his forehead during their second verse, but never puts them over his eyes.
  • No OSHA Compliance: Adam and Jamie mock their containment grid's lack of safety precautions, claiming that Walter Peck was right to be suspicious of them.
  • Oh, Crap!: All four have a visible one when the conversation between Adam and Tory references how Ray inadvertently summoned Stay-Puft in their movie. They have another one when the big guy shows up.
  • Pungeon Master: Downplayed; Egon lets two out in one line based on their opponents' names: "I'll kick your hiney man, I'm a savage killer".
  • Science Hero: Ray, Peter, and Egon all have doctorates in various fields, which they now use to bust ghosts.
  • The Smurfette Principle: :As if to balance out Kari, Janine Melnitz is the lone female on the Ghostbusters' side and evens out their numbers!
  • Token Minority: Winston is the lone black person on the Ghostbusters' side, just like he was in their movie.


Played by: Peter Shukoff (Jamie Hyneman), Lloyd Ahlquist (Adam Savage), Mary Doodles (Kari Byron), Chris Alvarado (Tori Belleci), Terry Im/KRNFX (Grant Imahara)
"In this episode, we'll give you a synopsis!"

  • Adaptational Curves: The real Jamie Hyneman is notably stout and of average height, but is portrayed by the scrawny and tall NicePeter.
  • Agent Scully: Jamie dismisses all the the Ghostbuster's accomplishments with a bored "Ghosts aren't real." Cue Stay Puft....
  • Back from the Dead: The B-Team, even though they technically aren't dead, are treated this way, presumably because they had left the show.
  • Back-to-Back Badasses: Jamie and Adam strike this pose while busting the science of the positron packs.
  • Badass Baritone: Jamie has an impressive sounding deep voice that works with his emotionless tone.
  • Butt-Monkey: Tory, as usual. He outright fails to come up with a line, and it's implied that he inadvertently summoned Stay-Puft.
  • Creepy Monotone: Like Egon, Jamie speaks in an emotionless manner, contrasting with Adam's persistent excitement.
  • In-Series Nickname: 'The Walrus' for Jamie and 'Dickless the Clown' for Adam, invoked by Ray.
  • I Take Offense to That Last One: Jamie looks indignant when Stay Puft Marshmallow Man claims his beret is better than his.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Jamie and Adam point out that Walter Peck was justified for being a dick to the Ghostbusters, because the ghost containment grid lacked a safety switch.
  • Nerves of Steel: Jaime isn't even fazed by the arrival of Stay-Puft, unlike everyone else. At one point he even looks away from him as if bored.
  • No Sense of Personal Space: Adam. In the introductions, he puts his arm around Jamie, who just looks at his arm in mild annoyance. You can also see Adam patting Jamie on the shoulder during their dances in the background.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Like in their original show, Adam is red while Jamie is blue. From the season four trailer:
    Jamie: (calmly) Fascinating.
    Adam: (excitedly) This is gonna be great!
  • Signature Headgear: Jamie's black beret of course. He even gets insulted when The Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man says he wears it better!
  • The Smurfette Principle: Kari is the only female in the Mythbusters' team because Scottie isn't included in the rap battle.
  • The Stoic: Jamie never raises his baritone voice when rapping.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: At the end of their first verse, Jamie and Adam pull out a detonator and blow up their set. Why? It's what they do. Adam once claimed that "one explosion per episode" is in his contract, and this is an episode. Thus, explosion.
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: Tory fails to come up with an appropriate rhyme, and stops silent. The rhyme continues in the conversation between him and Adam afterward. Based on "flow" and "own" and what happens, the most likely word Tory thought of is "marshmallow".
  • Three Plus Two: Inverted. The battle begins with just Jamie and Adam before the B-Team joins them.
  • Token Minority: To balance out Winston, Grant Imahara is the lone Asian, just like he is on the Mythbusters' show.

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Played by: Taylor Cu (motion), Lloyd Ahlquist (voice)
"Yo, raise up, it's Stay Puft; I stay fluff!"

  • Affably Evil: His verse is one of the silliest and most fun in the series. He's also the corporeal form of an interdimensional Eldritch Abomination seeking to bring the Apocalypse.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Levels up to the tower the other opponents were standing on.
  • Badass Adorable: Despite his size, he looks friendly and fluffy, but still lays a verbal smackdown on both sides and, according to many of the comments on YouTube, he stole the show.
  • Badass Baritone: As expected of a creature his size and girth; not that it slows him down any (see Dance Battler).
  • Badass Boast: Stay Puft's entire verse is a nonstop diss to both sides, while letting them know why they don't want none:
    Stay Puft: "Yo raise up, it's Stay Puft. I stay fluff. I blaze chumps and flip Kari butterside up!"
    "I smother Ghostbusters in fluffernutter. I don't play! Show these dweebs how to rock a beret!"
    "I live so large, you can't harsh my mellow. Just one step took me out the ghetto."
    "You best be afraid of my marshmallow flows, 'cuz Big Puft just turned ALL YOU BITCHES TO TOOO~OOAST!"
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He looks ridiculous and it's rather silly to see him rap, but that doesn't make him any less threatening.
  • Cute Giant: He's huge and he looks adorable, though what he says is less cute.
  • Dance Battler: Midway into his verse, Stay Puft starts jamming in perfect sync with the battle track, while maintaining his flow.
  • Double Entendre: He sneaks two of 'em in, back-to-back:
    • First, he says he'd flip Kari butter-side up. As in, with her butt facing up (i.e. doggy-style). This is a reference to a line from Kari when the Mythbusters were testing the idiom of toast landing butter-side down.
    • While his line about smothering the Ghostbusters in "fluffernutter" is a Shout-Out to the final scene in the first film, where everyone is covered in Stay Puft's goo.
  • The Dreaded: Tory screws up his part of the B-Team's verse by forgetting his line, so Adam tells him to just think of something. You then see the Ghostbusters trying to warn him not to, by quickly shaking their heads "no", since that was what caused Ray to think of Mr. Stay Puft in the first movie. Sure enough...
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: While he's an iconic part of the Ghostbusters series, The Mythbusters weren't expecting to see a 50 ft. marshmallow man enter the battle.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: A lot of his characterization is inspired by The Notorious B.I.G.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Due to costume limitations, he smiles throughout his appearance unlike his film incarnation.
  • Post-Rape Taunt: In his second line, he says he'd flip Kari "butter-side up". She catches it and promptly shouts, "HEY!"
  • Signature Headgear: He claims his white beret is better than Jamie's.
    Jamie: Hey!

     Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde 

Bonnie Parker& Clyde Barrow

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist (Clyde Barrow), Hannah Hart (Bonnie Parker)
"Spit sick like a plague on both your houses!"

  • Adaptation Dye-Job: The real Bonnie was strawberry blonde and often dyed her hair red. Hannah Hart is also blonde, but she was brunette when playing Bonnie.
  • Affably Evil: They may be criminal thugs, but they clearly love each other and are genuinely saddened when their opponents die despite Bonnie having just shot Juliet.
  • Agony of the Feet: Juliet brings up Clyde mutilating his toes immediately after also threatening him that Romeo will give him a castration.
  • Antagonist in Mourning: They're stunned by Romeo and Juliet choosing to kill themselves in order to be together. Clyde looks wryly and plainly states, "Well that was tragic".
  • Battle Couple: They rap together.
  • Book Dumb: Blink and you'll miss it, but when Romeo and Juliet start throwing out highbrow language the camera briefly cuts to Bonnie and Clyde, as they exchange confused looks.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Seen near the end of Juliet's second verse, when Bonnie draws her pistol and shoots her.
  • Didn't See That Coming: Neither of them expected Romeo and Juliet would kill themselves.
  • Doomed by Canon: If you're familiar with history, you'll already know how it ends for them.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: While they're murderous criminals, they clearly love each other.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Bonnie has no qualms about shooting Juliet after one diss too many, but her and Clyde's reactions to the star-crossed lovers killing themselves indicate that they weren't about to just straight-up bump off both their opponents. Juliet springs up shortly after the shot, noting that she was merely grazed by the bullet, so Bonnie might not have been aiming to kill at all.
  • Evil Feels Good: When Bonnie shoots Juliet during the latter's second verse, she and Clyde grin at each other and laugh about it, as if to say: "good one".
  • Fedora of Asskicking: Clyde wears a classy gangster hat.
  • Groin Attack: Juliet threatens Clyde that Romeo will mutilate him further.
  • In Love with Your Carnage: They seem to have this sort of dynamic going on. Whenever one of them is rapping some threats of violence, the other smiles or otherwise reacts approvingly. Especially evident when Bonnie shoots Juliet.
  • Large Ham: They ampep their Texan accents.
  • Motor Mouth: Both of them can rap fairly quickly at the end of their first verse.
  • Karmic Death: They get mowed down by machine guns by the ending.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: They're both shot to death just when finishing their last verse.
  • Outlaw Couple: They're both outlaws in love who also bring their weapons to the rap battle.
  • The Pig-Pen: Romeo claims that the only insult they had on them in their first verse was their stench.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: Bonnie and Clyde are notorious gangsters going against the aristocratic Romeo and Juliet.
  • There's No Kill like Overkill: History repeats itself, as both are shot multiple times at the end.
  • Together in Death: They were gunned-down together.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: Bonnie responds to Juliet saying Romeo will castrate Clyde by shooting her.

Romeo and Juliet

Played by: Peter Shukoff (Romeo Montague), Grace Helbig (Juliet Capulet)
"Together, we shall both put these bitches on blast!"

  • Battle Couple: They rap together.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Juliet makes light of Clyde's Prison Rape.
  • Driven to Suicide: Both commit suicide in the end. When Bonnie shoots Juliet, she falls down to her death. Though that bullet didn't kill her, and Romeo drinks poison, only for Juliet to get back up, and realizing her love is dead, she stabs herself.
  • Dying Moment of Awesome: When Juliet believes she's dying from a gut-shot she gets out one scathing burn about being killed by a failed actress, and Romeo makes a point to kill himself lying on his stomach so Bonnie and Clyde will have a chance to kiss his ass.
  • "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner: They both pull this.
    • Juliet, who believes herself to have been killed after Bonnie shot her takes one last dig at Bonnie.
    What irony is this? The lead role shot down by a failed actress?
    • Romeo drinks poison out of grief for Juliet's apparent death, finishing with:
    "So you louts can lick my ass, thus with a dis I die."
  • Failure Knight: Bonnie says that Romeo will fail to beat Clyde in a fight because he already failed protecting his best friend.
  • Flowery Insults: Romeo's disses tend to be more on the flowery side while Juliet goes for earthier jabs. He calls Bonnie an "artless beetle-headed flax wench" at one point, which is just a very fancy way of saying "stupid whore".
  • Large Ham: As expected from Shakespearean characters, both young lovers are overly dramatic and pompous.
  • Minor Injury Overreaction: Romeo is quick to assume Juliet is dead, when Bonnie shoots her, and kills himself out of grief so he can join her. Only for Juliet to recover mere seconds later and state that the shot had only grazed her. Clyde lampshades it near the end of the battle:
    Clyde: (matter-of-factly) "Might've done that boy some good to just wait a couple of seconds."
  • Only a Flesh Wound: Bonnie shoots Juliet in the gut, but she stands up moments later. "My flesh was merely grazed."
  • Prison Rape: Juliet takes a dig at Bonnie by implying her beau's had his ass ripped while he was behind bars.
  • The Queen's Latin: Romeo and Juliet speak with English accents, despite being Italians.
  • Sickening Sweethearts: Spend their opening lines declaring their love to each other and spend their solo second verses valiantly defending the other when Bonnie and Clyde insult them.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Juliet is unexpectedly nasty for a girl who looks like a Princess Classic.
    Juliet: And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,
    you'll get an ass-ripping worse than your boyfriend's in prison!
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: Romeo and Juliet are two aristocratic Shakespearean lovebirds going up against the rough and tough criminal couple, Bonnie and Clyde.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: They use some profanity in addition to their Shakespearean language. This is a mild Viewers Are Geniuses as well. The original play by Shakespeare translated into current English would be utterly filthy.
  • Suddenly Shouting:
    Juliet: Where's Romeo? OH NO-MEO!!
  • Together in Death: If you've read the story, you'll already know what's coming.
  • True Blue Femininity: Juliet is wearing a blue dress.
  • Younger Than They Look: Juliet looks like a young adult, naturally. However, Bonnie calls Juliet a prepubescent vixen; in the play, Juliet was only 13, as evidenced by several lines that say she hadn't "seen the change of 14 years", making her the third-youngest character in a rap battle thus far (the second-youngest if we don't count Michael Jackson's first verse).
  • Wangst: Both are accused of overblown adolescent whining by Bonnie, who calls Romeo a "hissy-fittin' rich kid" and says that Juliet will finally have a reason to cry to her parents once they're done with her.

     Zeus vs Thor 


Voiced by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm the father of the Gods!"


Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I don't get nice; I get Norse!"

  • Amazon Brigade: A brief mention to the "women in his homeland", who are displayed as a regiment of armor-clad female warriors, the famous "shield-maidens".
  • Bold Explorer: Brags about the Norse exploration of the Americas as part of his retort against Zeus's Proud Scholar Race Guy boast.
  • Composite Character: Mostly based on the Thor of Norse Mythology, but with some traits taken from the Marvel Cinematic Universe version.
  • The Conqueror: Prides himself on Scandinavia's legacy of conquest.
  • Crossdresser: Zeus threatens to "put his crossdressing neck in a noose". This is a reference to one of the Norse tales in the Eddas, where Thor really did dress up as the Goddess Freyja to get his Hammer back (at Loki's suggestion of course).
  • Drop the Hammer: His trusty bludgeon Mjolnir.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Thor and his people may be ruthless conquerors, but Zeus, notorious tyrant and shapeshifting rapist that he is, actively disgusts him.
  • Fiery Redhead: A hard-boiled, redheaded Viking badass, in line with his depiction in Norse mythology, apart from a moment as Chris Hemsworth with Natalie Portman.
  • Give My Regards in the Next World: The closing line of his final verse is "When you get to River Styx, tell your three-headed bitch I say "Hi!"
  • Groin Attack: He begins his rap by sacking a frost giant in the dick using his hammer. He also threatens to kick Zeus' "wrinkly dick" back to his toga near the end of the battle.
  • Horny Vikings: The crew upon his ship are wearing horned helmets. Thor himself gets a winged helmet, much closer to his Marvel depiction than you'd believe. Loki, meanwhile, is in his Marvel costume complete with the tall horns.
  • Hypocrite: He talks down on Greek astronomers, ignoring the fact that the Vikings were also accomplished in astronomy, as they would have to be in order to navigate the Atlantic ocean and discover the lands beyond them, which he boasts about just seconds later. Likewise, he attacks Zeus for being a horny rapist sleaze but in the Norse myths, Odin was much the same as Zeus, and fathered many illegitimate kids and kept many mistresses. Likewise, his boasts about the Norse people's conquest in The Viking Age doesn't include any apology for the large number of Rape, Pillage, and Burn which while perhaps not any different from other feudal powers, is hardly something to be brag about without qualification.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While acknowledging his literal dog kicking he admits that he didn't treat his people like playthings or torment them mindlessly the way Zeus did. Indeed, he spends much of his verse praising them.
  • Kick the Dog: Literally punts a dog off his ship just to establish his status as an "Alpha dog dominant" to Zeus. The Viking who owned it is visibly distressed by his action.
  • No-Sell: Shrugs off the rainstorm Zeus summons like it's nothing.
  • Non-Standard Character Design: As with Zeus and everyone else in their episode, he is depicted in the form of a Lego minifigure instead of in live action.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: Zeus considers him to be this, as he's subservient to Odin rather than being the Top God of his pantheon like Zeus is.
  • Proud Warrior Race Guy: He says the Vikings are conquerors and not so easily frightened as the Greeks.
  • Pungeon Master: His first verse just pumps these out one after the other; for example "Keep your Asguard up! I ragnarok the house!"
  • Red Boxing Gloves: Wears one when telling Zeus to "Keep his Asguard up".
  • Shock and Awe: Like Zeus, Thor has the powers of lightning, using them to smite Zeus down to Hades.
  • Viking Funeral: Zeus says in his last verse that Thor is going to need to prep for his own.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Thor pointedly calls out Zeus, along with the other gods of Mt. Olympus, for their cruelty towards mortals.
    Thor: (at Zeus) "Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is?"
    "You're ruthless to humans. Your crew is like the Clash of the Douches!"

     Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter 

Jack the Ripper

Played by: Dan Bull
"An infamous, notorious delinquent!"

  • Appropriated Appelation: "Jack the Ripper" is how the mass media dubbed him, and here he adopts it for himself.
  • Attention Whore: Hannibal accuses him of this; both in Jack's murders and referring to himself by his press-given nickname.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's so psychotic that he brags about his crimes being sick and appalling.
  • Boastful Rap: Perhaps the most triumphant example in all of ERB, as he spends his entire first verse talking himself and his crimes up, with nary a reference to Lecter.
  • Breaking Speech: Retaliates to Hannibal's with one of his own in his second verse that visibly, if subtly, pisses Hannibal off. Hannibal compliments him on it, then slams him for ruining it with his last rhyme.
  • British Teeth: Jack has molars as messed-up as his morals. Somewhat of a double example, as those are Dan Bull's natural teeth.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He's nothing but proud of his hideous crimes.
  • Dark Is Evil: He's dressed in almost all black and has one of the darkest backgrounds in the series.
  • Evil Brit: The first British character in a battle to be played by a real British person, and he's England's most infamous serial killer, with British Teeth, no less!
  • Evil Is Hammy: Jack positively delights in bragging about his criminal notoriety, and it's clear Dan Bull had a bloody good time playing him.
  • Eviler than Thou: He says he's worse than the 7/7 bombers because of his reign of terror. Most of his second verse involves him belittling Lecter for being fictional (and imprisoned to boot) and thus causing no real harm, as opposed to Jack himself who not only committed real brutal murders but also got away with them scot-free. In his first verse, he also states that even his opponent would find his crimes sick and appalling.
  • Exorcist Head: At one point, his head rotates so fast, it looks as if Pazuzu possessed him after inhaling a mountain of coke.
  • Fangs Are Evil: It looks like he's got fangs among his British Teeth. Appropriate for a possibly cannibalistic predator.
  • For the Evulz: Gleefully brags about all the suffering and pain his murders caused.
  • Hot Blooded Sideburns: Sports colossal 19th Century sideburns along with his large and boastful raps.
  • Horrorcore: References the genre in one of his lines. His battle feels like a Halloween Episode that came a month too late.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Hints that he might eat his victims, as the real Jack may or may not have done.
  • Informed Flaw: Despite all the lines about Jack being filthy, his suit and hat look pretty neat.
  • It's All About Me: Spends more time bragging about his own crimes than he does insulting Lecter, to the point where he's almost an Ignored Enemy.
  • Jerkass: He brags about his atrocities, showing no shame for his crimes and comparing himself to modern terrorists. And he's also as arrogant as he is sadistic and gleeful that he's gotten away for good.
  • Karma Houdini: He was never arrested, and his true identity remains a mystery, which he happily brags about.
  • Knuckle Cracking: You can briefly see him doing this during Hannibal's first verse.
  • Lack of Empathy: Shows no remorse for any of the crimes he's committed, even spending the first verse boasting about it.
  • Lower-Class Lout: Hannibal presents him as a filthy, tasteless boor.
  • Monster Misogyny: Infamous for murdering prostitutes, who he regards as "common whores".
  • Narcissist: See Badass Boast. Hannibal diagnoses him with megalomania.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: As he was never caught or identified, he only gets a nickname, which he didn't even come up with by himself, as Hannibal notes.
  • The Pig-Pen: Hannibal claims he's covered in more piss than kitty litter.
  • Pretender Diss: Jack boasts about being a real killer, as opposed to the fictional character he's rapping against.
  • Ripped from the Headlines: His reference to the 7/7 London Bombing incident, which Hannibal quickly calls him out on.
  • Sadist: Gloats about leaving behind grieving families and hard-to-clean bloodstains.
  • Serial Killer: Butchered sex workers for (what many believe are) extremely petty reasons but to his credit, he's never been arrested for it.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: For a filthy, gross thug, he's got great taste in clothing. At least one eyewitness account of the Ripper in real life described him as well-dressed as shown here.
  • Signature Headgear: Much like in most pop culture portrayals (and at least one real-life eyewitness account) he wears a top-hat.
  • Slasher Smile: Gives a particularly unnerving one in the title sequence before the rap starts.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The slob, or in his words, an "infamous, notorious delinquent".
  • Totally Radical: Jack's lines are filled with mentions of then-current things like Twitter, trigger warnings, Dexter, and the 7/7 bombers. Hannibal accuses him of trying too hard to seem relevant, implying this is symbolic of Jack's overall need for to be noticed.
    Hannibal Lecter: How typical of Jack the Ripper to chase a headline!
  • Would Hurt a Child: States proudly that he will stalk an intended victim, kill them in their family home, and leave their still-grieving loved ones to clean up the mess.

Hannibal Lecter

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm the bon vivant of violence, a licensed psychiatrist who dines on highest society to the sound of violins!"

  • Ax-Crazy: Though he's more intelligent, calculating and sophisticated than Jack, he's incredibly sinister and often makes remarks about his cannibalism.
  • Berserk Button: The only time he seems genuinely angry with Jack is when he's reminded that he's fictional, where he takes a deep breath and seems quietly enraged.
  • Breaking Speech: Specializes in this. He spends some of his verses dissecting Jack's self-absorbed behavior.
  • Boring Insult: He doesn't take Jack seriously, instead considering him something of a poser. He decides to go back to solitary confinement because "The Ripper" is not worth his time.
  • Cool Mask: His muzzle is well known in the Hannibal movies, and it's worn during Jack's first verse while Hannibal is being released from his straitjacket.
  • Deadly Doctor: A "licensed psychiatrist", as remarked by himself, who kills and eats people.
  • Deadpan Snarker: His opening remarks towards how Jack spent his first verse talking about himself and his reactions to the 7/7 bombers line.
    Hannibal: No, no, Jack, you were doing fine, before your ham-fisted attempt at a terrorist line.
  • Do Wrong, Right: He remarks, I don't mind that you're naughty, Jack, I hate that you're sloppy.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He considers the 7/7 London bombing references to be in bad taste.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Remains completely calm throughout the battle as part of his attempt to break down Jack's psyche.
  • A Glass of Chianti: Being the Trope Namer, he references it, claiming that the rhymes he's serving in the battle are finer than the Chianti he would drink while eating Jack's liver (if he actually wanted to, that is).
  • Good Hair, Evil Hair: The latter, with his trademark slicked-back 'do.
  • Groin Attack: Happily admits that he'd roast Jack's balls on his hibachi, which makes Jack take a quick look down.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: States his willingness to eat Jack, though he also says he would make a foul meal.
  • Kubrick Stare: Gives Jack one at the start of his verse.
  • A Lighter Shade of Black: There's no doubt he's evil, but he's still portrayed in a somewhat better light than Jack, if for no other reason than being a Picky Eater.
  • Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: A serial-killing psychiatrist.
  • Pretender Diss: Hannibal sees Jack as an inferior serial killer, and he dedicates some of his lines to lecture him on his sloppiness.
  • Psycho Psychologist: Psychiatrist, to be exact. As for the "psycho," let's just say there are very good reasons for him to be locked up.
  • Serial Killer: He literally kills his victims just so he can eat them but he prefers clean human meat so he "dines on high society".
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: At the end of the battle, he demands to be taken back to solitary confinement because battling Jack is a waste of time in his eyes.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The snob, or in his words, "the bon vivant of violence... who dines on highest society to the sound of violins".
    "I don't mind that you're naughty, Jack, I hate that you're sloppy!"
  • Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: Hannibal remarks he would rather not eat Jack, as he is most likely dirty and unsanitary. The very thought of eating him disgusts Lecter.
  • Tranquil Fury: As shown in Berserk Button above, he keeps a straight face for most of the time, and when he's angry, he approaches it in a subdued manner, although not to the same extent as in the novels and films.
  • Warrior Therapist: His very first line has him diagnosing Jack with megalomania.
  • Wicked Cultured: Talks a lot about his more "refined" way of going about his work, including his love for classical music (when accompanied by the scream of his dying victims) and how his knowledge of psychiatry helps him manipulate people.

     Oprah vs Ellen 

Oprah Winfrey

Played by: November Christine
"I'm the Queen of TV, and I'm here to destroy ya!"

Ellen DeGeneres

Played by: Lauren Flans
"From ABC to LGBT to NBC and now it's all me!"

  • Actually Pretty Funny: Her reaction to Oprah's first two lines in her second verse implies she found it funny, meaning either this trope or thinking it's "so bad it's funny" (naturally depends on your perspective).
  • Ax-Crazy: Downplayed.
    • In several of her scenes, her eyes are a bit wider than they should be, and with a Slasher Smile, she declares that she wants to chop Oprah up "into a million little pieces".
    • Dr. Phil shows up and says she should just be left alone. Ellen laughs at him and pushes him out of the way to continue.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: You wouldn't expect a squeaky-voiced white woman who raps about puppies and kittens to put up much of a fight, but Ellen's more of a scrapper than she lets on.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: When you start a rap battle by pretending to talk to God on an imaginary cell phone, this is the impression.
  • Follow the Leader: invoked Oprah claims she paved the road for Ellen.
  • Fun Personified: Gleefully dances around in a silly manner and remains cheerful even when Oprah is insulting her. She spends much of her second verse talking about how she likes to "make everybody feel good for a while".
  • The Gadfly: Brings up several embarrassing moments from Oprah's Career including Tom Cruise jumping on the couch, the "A Million Little Pieces" scandal, and guests having to pay taxes on their "free" cars. By the end of her second verse she appears to have gotten under Oprah's skin.
  • Genki Girl: Her dances can get quite goofy and she's always cheerful and energetic. Her voice is also significantly higher than her real-life counterpart.
  • Insult Backfire: Oprah disparages her kittens, and not only does Ellen roll with it, she includes "puppies, talented children, and mittens."
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: Features kittens on her show and likes to make people smile.
  • Perpetual Smiler: During her verses, she's constantly smiling; for maybe all of three shots, she isn't, but it's clear she's holding one back. The only time she isn't is during Oprah's first verse.
  • The Pollyanna: She always smiles when facing Oprah's insults.
  • Straight Gay: She has to mention her sexuality in the first verse; if she didn't, people who aren't familiar with her would likely have no clue. She also mentions the LGBT in her second verse, but that's blink-and-you-miss-it.
  • The Usurper: She's claims that she's going to knock Oprah "off her throne" and take her place as the queen of daytime TV.

     Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock 

Steven Spielberg

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I rock the Academy and the DGA!"

  • Badass Boast: His first four lines are this in the spirit of a movie pitch:
    Picture a child sitting next to a projector,
    Learning from your films to become a much better director.
    Now picture a three-billion-dollar dream machine,
    Who can blockbust all over your crop duster scene!
  • Broken Pedestal: The real reason he's dueling Hitchcock. In real life, Hitchcock was paid to perform the opening lines of the Jaws Universal Ride in the 70s. Hitchcock found the process to be disgusting and blamed the movie and Spielberg (who had no part in designing the ride) for it. Later, Spielberg comes to Hitchcock's house to meet his idol...and Hitchcock refuses to let him into his house, much less acknowledge him as an equal in the field. Ouch.
  • Butt-Monkey: Not in the same vein as Michael Bay, but he gets it a lot. In fact, every time the other directors insult Bay they also insult Spielberg... by comparing his work to Bay's.
  • Fiction 500: A three-billion dollar dream machine. Of course, the real Spielberg is worth that much as well.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: That's the gist behind his Badass Boast, pointing out how he went from a simple child watching movies to Hitchock's (supposed) superior.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Probably unintentional, but "that schlep Michael Bay" is not only a good friend of Spielberg in Real Life (and actually first got into film after working on the set of Raiders of the Lost Ark), Spielberg was the Executive Producer of the Transformers movies (which was the true extent of Bay's involvement in the Ninja Turtles movie, despite what Kubrick implies). His "$3 billion Dream Machine" is responsible for distributing Bays' movies!
  • Mooning: He emphasizes his line of "Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness!" by turning around and dropping his pants to Hitchcock in a Shadow Discretion Shot.
  • Pungeon Master: In a similar manner to Stephen King, he fits nine titles of his and Hitchcock's movies in his verse.
  • Sell-Out: According to Tarantino, his adaptation of The War of the Worlds makes him one, because it was the same sort of crap that Michael Bay would do.
  • Signature Headgear: Just like in many real-life public appearances, he wears a black baseball cap with USS CALIFORNIA 26-RED on it.
  • Signature Shot: Starts the battle with his famous track-in camera move.
  • Specs of Awesome: He's an A-Grade film director, and the only one in the battle who wears glasses.
  • Summer Blockbuster: References the fact that he created them with his fourth line.
  • Surpassed the Teacher: According to Steve, he began his career taking inspiration from Hitchcock, but now he's far surpassed him.
  • Yiddish as a Second Language: Refers to Michael Bay as a "schlep".

Alfred Hitchcock

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"My skill's enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance!"

  • Acrofatic: At one point in his rap he breakdances.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: "No defense against Hitchcook when he presents" in his classic black suit.
  • Badass Boast:
    I'm the master... ! of suspense, so intense, No defense against Hitchcock once he presents!
  • Deadpan Snarker: In response to Spielberg's mooning:
    That was a close encounter of the turd kind.
  • Fat Bastard: Spielberg and Tarantino both make fun of him being fat and not being able to fight in World War One for the British Army because of his obesity, respectively.
  • Insufferable Genius: He has quite the ego stemming from his brilliance in directing.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: He brags about how he became a legendary horror director by using chocolate syrups as special effects for blood.
  • Nice Guy: At least compared to the other rappers; the only person he insults is his opponent, unlike everyone else. He does take a shot at Megan Fox but it's over something everyone, Fox included, admits is true.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Brags about being able to "squeeze screams from chocolate syrup."
  • Non-Standard Character Design: He's the only rapper in the battle who is Deliberately Monochrome.
  • Red Baron: "The Master of Suspense", which is his real life nickname in the industry.
  • Scare Chord: They appear in his verse to aid his suspense.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: He did so after his aforementioned Badass Boast to illustrate how he's "The Master of Suspense".
  • "Seinfeld" Is Unfunny: invoked Spielberg and Tarantino mentioned how his films and directing style have since become outdated.
  • The Stoic: He isn't bothered in the least by anything Spielberg says about him. Or anything any of the other rappers have to say. Moreover, when Michael Bay jumps from the helicopter, he is the only director that doesn't flinch or jump back; he just follows the trajectory with his head, hands behind his back, just as calm as a master of suspense would be.
  • Worthy Opponent: When Kubrick declares himself a genius, Hitchcock nods in approval, indicating that he sees him as this.
  • You Are Fat: Spielberg takes a jab at his weight. So does Tarantino, and in a more straightforward manner at that.

Quentin Tarantino

Played by: WAX
"Quentin Tarantino is a (…) genius. (Fuck!)"

  • Aside Glance: He gives us one in the beginning of Kubrick's verse.
  • Assist Character: Jimmie Dimmick (whom Tarantino played) shows up to complete some of his lines.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: The genius film director and "bad MoFo" is wearing his trademark brown suit.
  • Bloody Hilarious: There's blood all over his background, and he says that there's more blood when he stubs his toe than in the shower scene from Psycho.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: He references the fact that scenes across Tarantino's filmography contain graphic violence and strong language.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Keeps a flat, bone-dry tone while ripping into his two initial opponents.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: He's the first unannounced competitor in the supposed Spielberg and Hitchcock showdown.
  • Insufferable Genius: But in a different style to Hitchcock, being more abrasive and less pompous.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Spielberg is about to argue with Tarantino when the latter disses War of the Worlds, then concedes he's right.
  • Motor Mouth: Spits the fastest of the five rappers. The real Quentin is known for being a Keet.
  • "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: After mocking Hitchcock for being rejected by the British Army for his obesity, Tarantino breaks the fourth wall to assure us that, yes, that really happened, and tells us to look it up on Wikipedia if we don't believe him.
  • Pop-Cultured Badass: References a lot of movie trivia, from Wikipedia, to obscure Sam L. Jackson parts, to Hitchcock's own history.
  • Precision F-Strike: It's Tarantino, this is expected.
    Scripts that I write ain't the... cleanest (Fuck!)
  • Red Baron: Dubs himself the "King of Dialogue".
  • Signature Shot: Ends his verse with a Trunk Shot.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Self-admitted. His scripts aren't the *#*$& cleanest.
  • Suckiness Is Painful: Opens his verse asking for a Tylenol and telling Hitchcock and Spielberg to stop rapping.
  • Trunk Shot: His verse ends with one, this trope being a staple of his films.
  • Wham Line: "Cut!", just as Hitchcock finished his verse.

Stanley Kubrick

Played by: Ruggles Outbound note 
"Genius is a powerful word, but there's no reason to use it 'less you're talking 'bout the Kubrick."

Michael Bay

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!"

  • Affably Evil: Gleefully informs us the critics consider him evil.
  • At Least I Admit It: He knows full well the critics hate him, but is upfront about the profits. His "Guilt Money" jab is also a crack that he, unlike the other directors, aren't slaves to making movies that'll please the critics and cinephiles.
  • Catchphrase: "Motherfucking money!" and variations of thereof, which he repeats three times.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He certainly doesn't care that "the critics say I'm evil". Whether or not he agrees with them is less clear.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Bay's movies are, directly or indirectly, insulted in every verse. Then he makes his Dynamic Entry.
  • The Chew Toy: Every single other rapper makes fun of him or his movies in their raps.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: If you're bothered by the fact that he says "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!" three times in his verse, too bad.
    "I don't give a fuck."
  • Critic-Proof: In-Universe, he brags that his movies rake in the billions despite their critic hate, and also points out that he's usually too busy working on the sequels to read the reviews.
  • The Dog Bites Back: After being mocked throughout the battle by the other four participants, he joins in specifically to fire back at them.
  • Dynamic Entry: In the manner of his movies, he arrives jumping out of a helicopter.
  • Flipping the Bird: Flips off all the other directors at the end of his verse.
  • Fun Personified: Movie-making-wise, he boasts how his movies are just fun and what the audience wants to see, while the other four rappers aim for more cerebral boasts.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: He's the third and final unannounced competitor in the supposed Spielberg and Hitchcock showdown.
  • Greed: He shamelessly admits that he only cares about making lots of money from his films. He also mocks the others for making films for guilt money.
  • Ground-Shattering Landing: After he jumps out of a helicopter, he sends earth flying.
  • Having a Blast: Bay's verses seem to unleash explosions by themselves.
  • Hitler Cam: Or "swoop low with a telephoto" as he calls it.
  • Incoming Ham: He flies in hanging off of a helicopter.
  • Large Ham: He certainly comes off in this way with his helicopter, explosions and "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!"
  • Let's Get Dangerous!: In his opening line, no less.
  • Only in It for the Money: In his own words why he does what he does:
    If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about motherfucking money!
  • invokedPandering to the Base: Lampshaded In-Universe. He pretty much sums up the concept of this trope: he says he doesn’t care about the critics because, in his eyes atleast, he "gives the people what they want".
  • Rage-Breaking Point: It's implied that Kubrick's crack about the Ninja Turtles movie he produced was the straw that broke the camel's back.
  • Rhyming with Itself: Rhymes "Motherfucking Money" with itself. And then he does it again. His next lines also end in the word "Money" just in case he hasn't himself clear on his position on both money and art.
  • Signature Shot: The low angle panning as he enters the battle, complete with gratuitous explosions.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: Casts himself as the unapologetic crowd-pleaser focused slob to the critic and award-focused snobs that are the other four directors.
  • Smug Snake: No amount of explosions can blast that smug grin off his face.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Obviously. There are a fair few explosions in his verse, finishing with a nuclear one. He also blows up the ERB logo at the end.
  • Take That!:
    • The entirety of Bay's verse is a giant "F U!!" to the other directors and movie critics alike, since they care about winning awards, whereas he only cares about entertainment value and profit.
    Bay: (proudly) "I give the people what they love, while the critics say I'm evil!"
    "Got no time to read reviews while I'm working on the sequel!"
    • Also, after taking insults from everyone else, he in turn insults... Mark Wahlberg.
  • Three-Point Landing: He takes this pose after sticking the landing from his helicopter.
  • The Unfettered: He doesn't give a shit if critics hate his movies. All he care about is making entertaining movies (and the MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!).
  • V-Sign: Just as he makes his remark about Wahlberg, Bay strikes a fist pump pose in the background as a giant "V" shaped explosion goes off behind him.
  • Wham Line: "That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you."

     Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted 

Meriwether Lewis and William Clark

Meriwether Lewis played by: Link Neal
William Clark played by: Rhett McLaughlin
Sacagawea played by: Michelle Maloney
"We're two traveling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace!"

  • Action Girl: Sacagawea helps out the duo by fighting an angry black bear to prevent it from attacking them.
  • Badass Bookworm: A significant part of their first verse is dedicated to showing off their skills as cartographers, zoologists, and botanists. They later have no problems with fighting Bill and Ted when the latter imply violence.
  • Bold Explorer: "We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far!"
  • Driven to Suicide: Lewis died mysteriously in an inn, and many people believed he killed himself.
    Ted: I've seen your future, Mr. Lewis, and I don't wanna be rude, but spoiler alert:
    Bill: You totally kill yourself, dude!
  • First-Name Basis: Clark properly addresses Lewis as Meriwether when talking to him directly. Nobody else calls them anything other than Lewis and Clark.
  • Follow the Leader: In-Universe, the two mention that they inspired a generation of pioneers and travelers.
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick: Sacagawea does some awesome stuff in the background while Lewis and Clark are busy with Bill and Ted.
  • Hypocritical Humor: They mock Bill and Ted for being useless without another character "on the trails [they] blazed"...while Sacagawea, their guide on said trails, takes down a black bear about to attack them in the background.
  • Miles Gloriosus: Bill and Ted claim that Sacagawea did most of the work while Lewis and Clark claimed the glory.
  • Mistaken Identity: On a meta level, many viewers assume Lewis is on the left and Clark is on the right when it's the other way around.
  • Nemean Skinning: Clark is sporting a neat coonskin cap.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Bill and Ted point out that their explorations inadvertently enabled the ethnic cleansing of Native American tribes they encountered.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: "According to our observations, these dickweeds right here are severely endangered!"
  • X Called; They Want Their Y Back: "Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!"

Bill & Ted

William Preston played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
Theodore Logan played by: Peter Shukoff
Rufus played by: Sam Macaroni
"We claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns!"

  • Actor Allusion: At the start of Lewis and Clark's second verse, the latter calls Ted "Neo", another character which Keanu Reeves is known for playing.
  • Air Guitar: Lewis and Clark claim their only legacy, aside from Dude, Where's My Car?, is people pretending to play guitar, i.e. nothing.
  • The Bus Came Back: A few of the previous rappers like Napoleon, Beethoven and Joan of Arc appear in the background.
  • Butt-Monkey: Poor Bill gets it bad. First, everyone (including his own friend) wants to talk about how hot his stepmom is, and then Clark points out that Alex Winter is less well known than Keanu Reeves.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Lewis and Clark boast about how they inspired other pioneers, whereas Bill and Ted only inspired air guitar and a movie. But instead of being insulted, Bill and Ted smile and nod as if it were a compliment.
  • Covered in Kisses: In their second verse, they briefly disappear in their time machine and re-emerge just as quickly with lipstick marks on their faces, implying a long tryst with their girlfriends.
  • Genius Ditz: The two are often clueless and seem to be in trouble for the first verse, but they manage a Stealth Pun or two in their raps proving that they at least know a good amount about the history of their opponents.
  • Heroic BSoD: Downplayed. Bill and Ted doubt their own abilities after Lewis and Clark's second verse, but a quick visit from Rufus gets them into fighting shape again.
  • Heroic Second Wind: They're left bummed out by Lewis and Clark's second verse, but Rufus manages to motivate them again. The boys become stoked and turn the tables on them.
    Bill: (at Ted) "He's right, dude!"
    Ted: "We don't have to take this kind of abuse."
    Bill: (at Lewis and Clark) "From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes!"
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: On the one hand, bringing up Lewis's likely suicide is extremely tasteless, but on the other hand, Bill and Ted are dumb but good-hearted enough to try and mend the situation with commemorative medallions and are implied by their final lines to decide that they're not remotely sick enough to try and win against, and thereby humiliate, a man who eventually kills himself.
  • The Load: Lewis and Clark say they wouldn't have been nearly as successful without Rufus to help them out. Rufus still drops in personally to snap Bill and Ted out of a funk.
  • Lust Object: Men across the ages are unified in their lust for Bill's stepmom.
  • Non-Answer: They get bummed out after Lewis and Clark's second verse, until Rufus shows up and motivates them... somehow:
    Bill: They totally burned us.
    Ted: [in agreement] I feeel like such a dufus.
    Bill: What do we do?
    Ted: [shrugs] I dunno.
    Rufus: Be excellent.
    Bill and Ted: [smiles] RUFUS!!
  • Surfer Dude: They've got serious surfer accents, dude!
  • Time Travel: They step into the time machine at one point, which disappears and returns quickly. When they step out they have their faces covered in lipstick, implying that they just paid a visit to their girlfriends.
  • Totally Radical: They use a lot of surfer slang like "dude" and "excellent".

     David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini 

David "Copperfield" Kotkin

David Copperfield played by: Peter Shukoff
Chloe Gosselin played by: Lauren Francesca
"I float a rose, hands-free, like it's Bluetooth."

  • Adaptation Dye-Job: The real Chloe Gosselin has brown hair, but Lauren Francesca played her with her natural dirty blonde.
  • Chick Magnet: He brags about banging (and marrying) supermodels.
  • Dissonant Serenity: Maintains a calm, soft voice throughout his verses with hardly any inflection.
  • Fiction 500: Like the real Copperfield, this one is extremely rich. Enough to own half the stuff that used to belong to his opponent, not to mention his own private island.
  • Flight: By means of levitating.
  • Fun Personified: Contrasting with the darker tone of Houdini and Angel, Copperfield points out that magic is supposed to make people happy.
  • Hypocrite: "You talk shit about your hero, that ain't right". Isn't that exactly what you're doing right now, David?
  • Like a God to Me: He starts his verse by saying Houdini was his idol.
  • Motor Mouth: He raps at a very fast pace.
  • Really Gets Around: He's joined by a lovely assistant getting his supermodel groove on.
  • Surpassed the Teacher: He got his start in magic by emulating Houdini ("I had to do what you do...") then he says he has advanced to a greater form of magic ("You can look up to me now,").

Harry Houdini

Eric "Harry Houdini" Weiss played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
Bess "Houdini" Weiss played by: Josie Ahlquist
"You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!"

  • Escape Artist: The most famous example and the Trope Codifier, as shown when he breaks out of chains from a box and, later, from a straitjacket while dangling off of a crane during the battle.
  • Fat Bastard: Copperfield calls him a chunky stuntman dressed in tights.
  • Happily Married: Harry's wife Bess is also his Lovely Assistant and she appears at the start to help him with his trick. Lloyd's own wife also plays Bess as well.
  • Large Ham: Harry literally screams every time he raps in an loud, overly dramatic fashion.
  • Motor Mouth: Shown to be able to keep up with Copperfield in rap speed during his second verse. He even makes the claim that he's "badder with patter" than Copperfield is.
  • Phony Psychic: Houdini famously considered them to be the scum of the earth for trying to con the grieving and emotionally vulnerable out of money, and after trying to get several to contact his own dead mother made it obvious to him they were lying, he went on a crusade to expose them all as frauds. David dismisses this crusade as "[wasting] time proving everybody wrong".
  • "Seinfeld" Is Unfunny: invoked Copperfield claims that nobody likes Houdini's old style of magic anymore.
  • Take That!: He calls Copperfield "the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering".

Christopher "Criss Angel" Sarantakos

Played by: Dante Cimadamore
Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Did somebody say Angel?"

  • Butt-Monkey: He attempts to join in the battle between Copperfield and Houdini, only to immediately get shut out by Houdini and insulted by Copperfield.
  • Flight: Like Copperfield, he also shows up levitating.
  • Mondegreen Gag: He mishears 'angle' as 'angel'.

     Terminator vs Robocop 


Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Your move, creep!"


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist/Arnold Schwarzenegger (final line)
"It's Judgment Day, baby. Hasta la vista!"

  • The Ahnold: Since he's based on the Trope Namer himself.
  • Anti-Hero: While Robocop keeps the sense of justice he had as Murphy, The Terminator is only capable of doing what he's programmed for. Nothing else.
  • Catchphrase: "I'll be back." and "Hasta la vista."
  • Composite Character: He raps in the steel plant from the second movie, performs his shotgun flip and wears his leather outfit from the same film, plus the catchphrases. However, he wields his UZI from the first movie, and his overall personality is similar to his original, villainous Killer Robot one.
  • Cool Shades: He takes off his iconic shades after his intro and puts them back on for the end for his last attack.
  • Foil: To Robocop. Robocop is a human turned cyborg who looks more mechanical than organic, and remains emotionless throughout his verses. Terminator, meanwhile, started off as a machine who looks quite human, and is highly fired up while delivering his verses, but is not human in the slightest.
  • Hypocrite: He says Robocop's emotions are wrecking his flows, but the Terminator sounds far more emotional (especially angry) throughout the battle than Robocop, who keeps an even, emotionless tone in his own raps.
  • Implacable Man: Not even being shot in the head stops him from finishing his verse.
  • Just a Machine: Robocop says that he knows nothing of love or honor, and only protects John Connor because of programing.
  • Kick the Dog: At one point, he impersonates Robocop's wife just to make a burn towards his sex life.
  • My Name Is Inigo Montoya: Introduced as "The Terminator", but he gives out his full model number in his first verse:
    "I am T-800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, and I'll be sweeping up your robo-bits like paperclips when I'm done!"
  • No Kill like Overkill: At the end where he has two ED-209s fire on Robo.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Red Oni to Robo's Blue Oni. Unlike the cold, emotionless machines in the movies, this Terminator gets highly fired up throughout his verses to contrast with RoboCop's cool, mechanical delivery.
  • Voice Changeling: He imitates Alex Murphy's wife's voice at one point, in the same manner the Terminator does in the films.
  • Walking Arsenal: He brags about the amount of weapons he can use in comparison to RoboCop's trademark pistol.

     Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers 


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention!"

  • Berserk Button: Doesn't like being called a plebe.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Appears in the background during Lewis & Clark vs. Bill & Ted.
  • The Gadfly: Proudly proclaims himself to be one as "the mad gadfly". In real life, he's the originator of the term.
  • Knight in Sour Armor: Insufferable as he is, he had a major interest in ethics, which is why he puts down Voltaire for being a lottery-rigging frog.
  • The Leader: Claims himself the inventor of philosophy, and Sun Tzu claims that Nietzsche and Voltaire are his followers.
  • Old Master: He's obviously quite old, which means he has been practicing his Socratic method (and in this case, rapping skills) for a long time
  • Red Baron: Refers to himself as the "Mad Gadfly."
  • Troll: Infamous for being one. He proudly calls himself the Mad Gadfly and claims his team's got wisdom and wit even he couldn't question.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven!"

  • Badass Baritone: Has the deepest voice in the entire battle.
  • Berserk Button:
    • He's shaking in rage after being insulted by Socrates. Making it worse is that he doesn't believe himself to be Socrates' student.
  • The Comically Serious: Easily the most intense of the philosophers, which makes it funnier when he threatens to "squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu."
  • Flanderization: His portrayal is inaccurate in that he is equated with his most bombastic proclamations and he describes himself as a "nihilist" which the real Nietzsche did not. Nietzsche argued against nihilism and he described it in detail but always as something to be overcome.
  • Large Ham: Shouts half of his lines with intense expressions and actions.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: According to Confucius, his ideas are partly responsible for Nazi Germany.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Spends the entire battle with a scowl on his face.
  • Red Baron: Dubs himself the "Fliest Nihilist."
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Becomes annoyed by his allies arguing and leaves after the battle.
  • Shown Their Work: They got Nietzsche's real-life dislike for Socrates and Voltaire right.
  • Spell My Name with an S: "'Cause I'm N-I-E-T Z-S-C-H-E, and I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!"
  • Straw Nihilist: Reassures himself as the Trope Codifier during his introduction. "The Fliest Nihilist."
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: He hated Socrates and Voltaire and absolutely lost it when he's referred to as Socrates' student.
  • Übermensch: He insists that you call him one, because "he's so driven." This is one rare mistake from the series, the real-life Nietzsche consistently said that he was not the Übermensch.note 


Played by: Zach Sherwin
"Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing!"

  • Agent Peacock: More flouncy than his teammates, but no less scathing.
  • Attention Whore: Confucius implies he supports free speech so he can yap as much as he wants.
  • Berserk Button: He tries to calm Socrates down, but lost it after Socrates called him a frognote 
  • The Casanova: He gets laid. A LOT. He even points out how the Westerners are better lovers.
  • Cool People Rebel Against Authority: Prides himself on going against the status quo, directly opposing Confucius.
  • Flanderization: He's mostly a caricature of a foppish French aristocrat with none of his deeper ideas or defects (his raging anti-Semitism for instance) addressed.
  • Gag Nose: Socrates makes a joke about Voltaire's nose falling into a cup of coffee.
  • It's All About Me: Confucius tells him free speech is no excuse to babble about himself.
  • Large Ham: As per usual with Zach Sherwin, especially when he retorts in response to Socrates calling him a frog. See Rhyming with Itself.
  • Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Though Confucius thinks his 'do looks like egg noodles.
  • Must Have Caffeine: His love of coffee is mocked by Confucius and Socrates.
  • Rhyming with Itself: Rhymes "frank" with itself four times, and for bonus points, rhymes the preceding word every time as well, three of those four times rhyming "be" with itself. At least he uses different meanings of "frank" each time...
    Let me be frank:
    Don't start beef with the Frank
    Who hangs with B. Franks
    Giving ladies beef franks!
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Confucius accuses him of this after he boasts about his wit.

Sun Tzu

Played by: Timothy DeLeGHETTO
"Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out!"

  • Batman Gambit: Pulls one off and successfully gets the Western philosophers to turn on each other by exploiting their egos.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: He has the largest and thickest of the three.
  • Cultured Warrior: A lifelong general and a brilliant strategist who wrote a highly influential book on military strategy, amongst other achievements.
  • Flaw Exploitation: He turns his opponents against each other by taking advantage of Nietzsche's dislike of Socrates.
  • The Gadfly: Despite Socrates calling himself this as his title, Sun Tzu is sneaking around and making fun of the philosophers after he turns them against each other. He takes a picture of the three squabbling once Voltaire joins in, and laughs at Nietzsche as he fumes in rage.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Though his plan to turn the Westerners against each other succeeded, the Easterners also fall victim to infighting when he gets frustrated with Lao Tzu and tells him to "fill his bowl with some shit that makes some sense".
  • Hot-Blooded: The most riled up of the Eastern Philosophers.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Insults Confucius' Big Ol' Eyebrows even though his own are the biggest.
  • The Leader: Easily takes control of his side's verses, commanding Lao Tzu and Confucius to give it their all.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Exploits Nietzsche's contempt for Socrates in order to ruin the cooperation of Team West.

Lao Tzu

Played by: KRNFX
"We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty."

  • Berserk Button: Telling him that his philosophy doesn't make sense will enrage him.
  • Don't Think, Feel: His philosophy encourages going with the flow, but he still tells Sun Tzu to "move, bitch, get out the way!"
  • Hypocritical Humor: Chides the western philosophers for their lack of discipline and control, but loses it when Sun Tzu pushes his Berserk Button.
  • Ice-Cream Koan: Sun Tzu points out how his philosophy at times just doesn't make any sense.
    A bowl is best used when it is empty...
  • Mellow Fellow: Very relaxed and tranquil, up until Sun Tzu says his ideas make no sense.
  • Not So Stoic: Succumbed to arguing with Sun Tzu.
  • Old Master: His age reflects in his wisdom (even if it doesn't make sense at first thought) and he can still get physical.
  • The Quiet One: Speaks very calmly and politely.
  • The Stoic: Of the serene variety. He's noticeably the calmest of his group.
  • Technical Pacifist: He threatens to force his opposition out of the way if they don't move for him.


Played by: MC JIN
"Here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies!"

  • Berserk Button: Insulting his eyebrows breaks his politeness.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: They're big enough to be mocked by Sun Tzu even though his are bigger.
  • Confucian Confusion: "You can all hold these fortune cookies". He even prefaces it with "Confucius say".
  • The Fettered: Confucianism is known for its rigid social systems. Confucius makes appeals to tradition, respect, and honor over the course of the battle. This is why Voltaire dedicates his verse to dissing Confucius, saying he considers challenging conformity to just be what would come naturally to a man who prides himself on being a free thinker.
  • Japanese Ranguage: As a pun against Nietzsche, he doesn't approve of his philosophies by saying "Me no Third Reichy."
  • Motor Mouth: Gives Shakespeare a run for his money with how fast he executes Sun Tzu's Batman Gambit.
  • Not So Above It All: Attempts to stop his partners' squabble but then joins in.
  • N-Word Privileges: Makes cracks about Asian Speekee Engrish, Chinese takeout and fortune cookies.
  • Old Master: He delivers a scathing broadside to Voltaire and Nietzsche by leveraging a lifetime of wisdom and being oldest here.
  • Unusual Eyebrows: Sun Tzu thinks they need to fit better on his face.
  • Vocal Dissonance: He looks like a wise old sage, which makes his youthful voice coupled with his energetic, fast-talking style kind of jarring.

     Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar 

Shaka Zulu

Played by: DeStorm Powers
"I got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah!"

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: He is a legendary African warrior king.
  • Badass Army: There are Zulu soldiers in his area. In his own words, they can "dismantle any emperor's pasty white horde".
  • Blade on a Stick: His army in the background use spears that are brought up by Caesar to make a pun about William Shakespeare's play about him.
  • Companion Cube: The rap begins with Zulu talking to his hammer as if it is his friend.
  • Does Not Like Shoes: Is barefoot during the battle and brags about how Zulu warriors are "trained on thorns".
  • Drop the Hammer: Talks to his hammer about how bad he'll beat Caesar; "knock off his dome and wrap it up in his own banner!"
  • Hot-Blooded: Very energetic and ready to fight.
  • Hypocritical Humor: He mocks Caesar's death at the hand of those he thought his friends in both the play and in real life. Ironic when Shaka himself was murdered by his two half-brothers at an even younger age than Caesar.
  • Large Ham: Even for a show like this, he stands out as a loudmouth.
  • Lightning Bruiser: With the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah.
  • Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: Caesar suggests he should hide underneath his cow skin shield.
  • Made a Slave: Caesar's closing line threatens Zulu with this fate.
    Caesar: You could grow my wheat for me after you're beaten!
  • Oh, Crap!: He is visibly shocked, when Caesar explains him how his superior forces will defeat the Zulu bull horn formation.
  • Precision F-Strike: He only swears once in the battle, but he makes it count.
    Shaka: And get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa!
  • Proud Warrior Race Guy: His first verse is more focused on how he's one of Africa's greatest conquerors along with his army in the background.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Shaka's the aggressive, boisterous Red Oni and Julius's the the calm, calculating Blue Oni.
  • Scary Black Man: One of the scariest in history due to his conquests.
  • The Strategist: References his Impi battle formation through the Zulu's horns. Caesar later references the Impi by threatening to spank the Zulu in the chest.
  • Underwear of Power: He's a warrior king wearing a loin cloth. Caesar even mocks him for it by saying he's wearing a diaper.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: He and his soldiers are all shirtless, though Zulu at least has an elegant large tribal necklace to indicate his royal status.
  • Zerg Rush: Eloquently shown by the following scene:
    Shaka: Send him back to home with a message from the (two of his troops appear and chant together) Zulu! If you battle (the two troops are now eight, and they chant together) Shaka, (the camera pans out to show a field packed with Shaka's troops) this what happen (all of them) to you.

Julius Caesar

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"You're fucking with the most triumphant third of the Triumvirate!"

  • Badass Army: He has Roman soldiers backing him up, and is confident enough in their skills to tell Shaka exactly how they will beat the Zulu army:
    First my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest;
    then I'll decimate your horns, you can't outflank the best!
  • Badass Boast: References how he killed his kidnappers once he was released from them to show that he doesn't make empty threats.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: He's mentioned by Marilyn Monroe during her rap battle against Cleopatra in Season 2.
  • Cold Ham: He's Chewing the Scenery just as much as Zulu much more subdued. Nice Peter's haughty performance as Caeser is extremely entertaining.
  • Deadpan Snarker: He has a rather dry wit.
    Caesar: You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper./I heard you had poison spit; where was it in this cypher?
  • Decapitation Presentation: Zulu threatens to do this to him, saying he'll send his head back to Rome as a message for anyone who wants to attempt challenging the African king's might.
  • Dirty Coward: According to Zulu, everyone thinks Caesar is a chicken.
  • The Emperor: First of the Empire, last of the Republicans. However this is defied by himself in Real Life. Julius Caesar was the de facto absolute ruler of Rome but he insisted on not being "king". As for "last of the Republicans", later historians consider Brutus to be that.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: Shaka brings up his death at the hands of those he trusted.
  • Evil Laugh: "Oooh can I be a hyena? Cause I'm going to laugh."
  • Faux Affably Evil: His voice becomes awfully calm at the end of the battle as he tells Shaka Zulu that he's not going to kill him or his hordes, since they'll be much more useful to him as slaves.
  • Just the First Citizen: Julius was the historical Trope Namer here, and this is referenced when he calls himself "First of the Empire."
  • Kubrick Stare: He starts off with a creepy and intense stare when he gets introduced.
  • Made a Slave: Invokes this on Zulu.
    Caesar: There's no use in murdering you and your heathen; you can grow my wheat for me after you're beaten.
  • Pity the Kidnapper: Inverted initially - the pirates were very charmed by him. Then they all ended up crucified once he was released.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: He sees no need for genocide, especially when slavery is more profitable for Rome.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Shaka's the aggressive, boisterous Red Oni and Julius's the the calm, calculating Blue Oni.
  • The Queen's Latin: He's Roman (obviously) and speaks with a slight English accent.
  • The Strategist: Lays out the ways his legions will cripple Shaka's forces.
  • Tyrant Takes the Helm: "First in the Empire, last of the republicans", as he puts it.
  • Wicked Cultured: He's ruthless and is well aware of his Shakespearian biography.

     Jim Henson vs Stan Lee 

Stan Lee

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm just your friendly neighborhood writer man with a secret identity of a super MC!"

Jim Henson

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm clenching all your strings like you're a puppet in suspension."

  • Assist Character: Kermit helps deliver a few of Jim's punchlines in his first verse.
  • Dissonant Serenity: He has a calm soothing voice throughout the rap.
  • Jaw Drop: After Stan's second verse, both Jim and Kermit's jaws drop, causing Stan to realize he's gone too far.
  • Muppet Cameo: The most famous muppet, Kermit, is by his side.
  • Nerves of Steel: He never loses his cool when battling Stan Lee. He gives one Oh, Crap! after another once Walt Disney shows up.
  • Nice Guy: He poses (more than a little mildly) for battle and talks up his rap as usual, but ultimately has maybe one very dry "burn" that Kermit helps him deliver. Everything else comes across as him being genuinely friendly.
  • Oh, Crap!: When Walt Disney turned up, he's unnerved.
  • Shoo Out the Clowns: Kermit exits stage left just as Jim starts to have a real heart-to-heart talk with Stan. This means he's also absent when Disney appears and the whole video takes a turn for the darker.
  • Tempting Fate: He ends his second verse that no man can muck with his and Stan Lee's legacy. Cue the surprise guest...
  • Too Cool to Live: Invoked by Stan Lee very solemnly
    Stan Lee: You were gone too soon. It's like watching a beautiful sunset, at noon.
  • Traumatic Haircut: Stan Lee threatens to forcefully shave him using Wolverine Claws.
  • Ventriloquism: The most famous ventriloquist in history is present, being the creator of The Muppets, and he has Kermit rapping with him.
  • Warrior Therapist: Even before Stan apologizes for the Mr. Hooper line, Jim says he can feel something discordant within Stan.
  • Worthy Opponent: After everything is said and done, he and Stan Lee have lots of respect for each other.

Walt Disney

Played by: Zach Sherwin
"I'm owning this battle! In fact, I own this whole series!"

  • Anthropomorphic Personification: He's less Walt Disney the man and more of the physical embodiment of how detractors view the Disney corporation. This has some disturbing historical resonance, since even in his own lifetime, Disney's person and his corporate icon became so conflated that many of his employees and associates weren't even quite sure what his "real" personality was like.
  • Ax-Crazy: Certainly comes off this way, what with the gigantic, terrifying grin and wide, crazed eyes.
  • Bad Boss: He shamelessly brags about how he overworks his artists and the poor labor conditions in his shops.
    "So get back to work/that's my dime you're wasting/I didn't buy you for billions/so you could play around debating."
  • The Bad Guy Wins: Successfully gets both Henson and Lee in his pocket and takes over the series itself.
    "Clearly there's nobody near me/I'm owning this battle/in fact, I own this whole series!"
  • Biting-the-Hand Humor: The show is ultimately owned by The Walt Disney Company, and so with this character they're basically calling their founder an Evil Overlord.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: Unlike Lee and Henson, he cares more about money than business ethics.
  • Crapsaccharine World: How he sells his empire:
    "I'll put a smile on your face/and green in your pocket/you'll be safe and insured/when you're under my employ/Now look at it!/GAZE UPON MY EMPIRE OF JOY!!!!"
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: His skin is very pale, likely to make his appearance more evil.
  • Evil Is Bigger: Zigzagged. At 6'2", Zach Sherwin is only about two inches taller than Peter, but more than half a foot taller than Lloyd. This is especially noticeable when Disney puts his hands on Henson and Lee's shoulders.note 
  • Evil Overlord: He describes his business as an Empire and has the ego of one, "the Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property".
  • Faux Affably Evil: He smiles most of the time and promises Lee and Henson they'll be compensated and insured handsomely (which Disney does to all their artists), but it's clear he cares for nothing but power over people's happiness.
    "You belong to Disney/which means you stay busy/cranking out magic/and assembly line whimsy"
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: When everyone thinks that Stan Lee and Jim Henson will have a heartfelt conclusion over their rap battle, he shows up without any warning.
  • Historical Villain Upgrade: Played for Laughs. He's practically a supervillain in the ERB-verse.
  • Hostile Show Takeover: Literally and figuratively, given that he finishes the rap and then declares "I own this whole series". Yes, he even brags about it and his past attempts of this trope all throughout his appearance.
  • It's All About Me: His raps are all Evil Gloating about his success. Tellingly, he always included the words "I", "my", and "me" in all his lines.
  • Knight of Cerebus: When he shows up, the mood quickly takes a nosedive. Most of his verse borders on disturbing, in stark contrast to the rest of the battle.
  • Large Ham: Truly chews up the scenery bragging about his success.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: To add to the episode's already creepy ending, Disney not only mentions that he owns Henson and Lee's companies, but also the show. Maker Studios, the studio that produced the series until 2019, is owned by The Walt Disney Company.
  • Moment Killer: He interrupts a heartfelt conversation between Jim Henson and Stan Lee.
  • No Indoor Voice: For most of his verse, he's practically screaming his lines.
  • Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Screams in the Voice of the Legion, cheerfully raps about how he works his artists to the bone and runs a number of sweatshops, and all with a huge smile and wide, bright eyes. Disney is easily the most legitimately scary character in ERB history.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Has this big, plastic grin on his face for most of his lines. He claims that he'll put a smile on everyone's face whether they like it or not.
  • Rule of Symbolism: Aside from owning the rights to The Muppets and most of Marvel Comics properties, Disney also owns Maker Studios, which owns ERB, which was founded by NicePeter and EpicLloyd, who are playing the foundersnote  of the first two companies.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: He's wearing a suit because he is a modern day emperor.
  • Sigil Spam: "With only 3 circles, I dominate the planet!"
  • Technically a Smile: Has a wide, toothy, joyless grin that seems to never leave his face.
  • Utopia Justifies the Means: In a warped capitalistic sense of utopia, he is definitely creating one. He declares his company to be an "Empire of Joy." He also believes that any business practice is acceptable so long as the end product makes people happy.
  • Voice of the Legion: This is not Walt himself but the personification of the company itself, and so he speaks with the voices of all its ruling bigwigs.
  • Wham Line: "M-I-C: I rock the mic properly. K-E-Y: Turning profits, I got the key!"