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Blackbeard vs Al Capone
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm an irate pirate; real swashbuckling buccaneer!"
- "Awesome McCool" Name: "I'm a criminal legend, with a badass name!" To quote Edward "Blackbeard" Teach himself.
- Artistic License Gun Safety: He uses one of his pistols as a pointer. At one point, he points it at his own head while talking about Al Capone having "an STD in his brain".
- Badass Beard: Naturally, though Capone calls it a rat nest.
- Badass Boast:
Blackbeard: "The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation but I'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion.""So prepare to learn the Davy Jones locker combination.""Forty cannon on the Queen Anne. Your gang can't stop it. I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit."
- His second verse is loaded with these:
- And he ends by calling himself a criminal legend with a badass name.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Enormously proud of his ruthlessness and his cold heart.
- Cool Ship: The Queen Anne's Revenge, featured in his background. He even mentions her 40 cannons.
- Guns Akimbo: Shows off a pair of guns in the background in his first verse.
- Guttural Growler: He doesn't talk as much as he roars in the form of words.
- Hypocritical Humor: Blackbeard also had syphilis but Al died from it, whereas Blackbeard didn't.
- Jerkass: Capone accuses Blackbeard of being one, as he makes fun of Capone's syphilis.
- Kubrick Stare: In his intro and very often while he raps, he makes a sinister look up at Capone.
- Licking the Blade: Tastes his cutlass in his intro, because he's a pirate.
- Off with His Head!: Capone reminds Blackbeard that they cut his head off and hung it from a rope.
- The Pigpen: Capone makes fun of his filthy living conditions.
- Red and Black and Evil All Over: He's a vicious criminal (by his own admission) and his entire color palette is red and black (with touches of gold).
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: More energetic than Capone. He's even wearing a bright red coat!
- Slasher Smile: In his intro he has this crazy look on him.
- Talk Like a Pirate: Heavily into the "arrgh" accent.
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I run an intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect!"
- Badass Boast:
Capone: (at Blackbeard) "I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies,""Then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money.""Then maybe they'll find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach.""This is Capone rappin'. I'm cappin' this Captain, capiché?"
- Most of his first verse has him addressing Blackbeard directly, by telling him exactly what he'd do to him:
- Capone follows that one up with another one, during his second verse:
- Badass in a Nice Suit: His business suit strikes a contrast with Blackbeard's coat.
- Combat Pragmatist: His men contract Edward Kenway to kill Blackbeard's men while Al keeps him distracted with the rap battle.
- Diabolical Mastermind: He's running an "intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect".
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Downplayed but present when he mentions his kids like to dress up as Blackbeard for Halloween.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He doesn't take kindly to Blackbeard using his syphilis as a diss.
- Fat Bastard: He has more meat on him then Blackbeard, who uses this as an insult.
- Ill Boy: Contracted Syphilis as a child.
- Justice by Other Legal Means: Blackbeard mocks how he was toppled by tax evasion.
- Kill It with Fire: Threatens to set Blackbeards' hat fuse on fire and burn down his whole crew.
- Man of Wealth and Taste: Just look at his suit and wonder how he paid for it.
- Nerves of Steel: Capone is not only completely unfazed by his opponent's lines, but in fact dismisses Teach outright.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: His presence is intense but he is not as expressive as Blackbeard. It's emphasized by his deep blue suit.
- Say My Own Name: In the form of a pun, used as a final jab at Blackbeard:Capone: "Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwn'd."
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Al shows up for the battle decked out in a three-piece suit, a trench coat, and a fedora.
- Smug Smiler: Check the smirk on his face during Blackbeard's second verse. Not only is Capone not impressed, he folds his arms while waiting for him to finish.
Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc
Played by: Michelle Glavan
"It's Miley Cyrus; I'm the hottest thing since Britney, bitch!"
- Aside Glance: Blink and you'll miss it, but during Joan's second verse (around the end of "you ratchet skank"), Miley glances back at the camera, which is behind her, with a disgusted look.
- Bare Your Midriff: Her outfit exposes her stomach.
- Blasphemous Boast: "When I come under fire, I can hash-tag-handle-it! If God's in your corner, than girl you need better management!"
- Deadpan Snarker: Her response to Joan's first verse is a sarcastic "Sweet burn." "No pun intended!"
- Drop the Hammer: Downplayed. She's seen with one, but never uses it.
- Maniac Tongue: Michelle did some research and noted that Miley regularly flashed her tongue.
- Never Live It Down: In-universe, as Joan tries to invoke this in regards to Miley's twerking. Miley twerks throughout the video and even references it in her first verse.
- No-Sell: She doesn't lose her temper or seem intimidated once, even when Joan flips out near the end. She even brushes off said flip-off with a Stealth Insult. She brushes off everything Joan says.
- Really Gets Around: Many of Joan's (and even some of Miley's) lines refer to how she's been having sex with many guys.
- Shaking the Rump: Twerks both in the intro sequence and during Joan's first verse. The latter case may double as a taunt to Joan, since Miley was shaking her rear right in Joan's face.
- Stealth Insult: After Joan flips out at her blaspheming, Miley just smirks and responds with this:"Sweet burn... no pun intended!"
- That Man Is Dead: She says she killed her alter ego of Hannah Montana.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "It's Miley Cyrus, I'm the hottest thing since Britney, bitch!"
Played by: Jessi Smiles
"When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint!"
- Action Girl: Leader of French armies, wears chainmail, and threatens Cyrus with physical violence.
- Badass Boast:"When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint!"
- Berserk Button: She doesn't take kindly to the Lord's name being taken in vain."Do not take the Lord's name in vain, you ratchet skank!"
- Celibate Hero: Died a virgin, according to Miley.
- God Is Good: Aware that God would not approve of her beating up a civilian over slights.
- Gratuitous French: Says "je suis la fille en feu (I am the girl on fire), just call me Katniss Everdeen" in her first verse.
- Lady of War: She maintains her composure throughout the rap battle.
- Mission from God: She receives messages from God's angels. In contrast, she says Cyrus' highest calling was a text from a guy who made a movie Snoop Dogg all about weed.
- Not So Stoic: Her reactions to Miley's first verse are subdued, and her own verse starts out calmly. Then she burns down the town behind her.
- Playing with Fire: Able to torch a city ablaze with her verses.
- Red Baron: The Maid of Orleans.
- Religious Bruiser: Starts the rap battle with a prayer to God and then threatens to rip Cyrus' tongue out of her head.
- Sweet Polly Oliver: Miley uses this against her by calling her a "cross-dressing peasant".
- Turn the Other Cheek: Her first verse says she knows that this is what God would prefer her to do, but she doesn't.
Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm so glad you could join me today."
- Aerith and Bob: One thing Pablo points out is his own Overly Long Name, then says "Back to you, Bob."
- Afro Asskicker: Even with the laid-back attitude, he's not to be messed with.
- Badass Beard: Which goes well with his afro.
- Meaningful Background Event: His background is black at first, just like the set of his show. However, during his first verse, he paints one of his famous landscapes onto the background (using the same "brushing" special effect his show would sometimes open with), and that becomes his background for the rest of the battle.
- Mood-Swinger: Given how he's always calm and pleasant, it's a downplayed example.
- While he acts one hundred percent cheerful in his own verses, he's shown with some combination of smugness and Tranquil Fury during Pablo's. Notice his derivative smirk when Pablo calls himself "the modern art Muhammad Ali" and his faltering smile when Pablo says he taught people how to suck at painting.
- At the start of his second verse, he proudly declares that he served in the military for his first two lines, and he stops smiling in favour of having a neutral yet proud expression while saluting and posing. When his third line starts, he suddenly starts smiling again and does a goofy dance.
- Nice Guy: It's difficult to tell if he's really trying to put down Picasso, or if he sees this as a friendly competition.
- Patriotic Fervor: Proudly declares that he served 20 years in the United States Air Force.
- Precision F-Strike: It's very mild, but the only time he swears in the entire battle."Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
- Perpetual Smiler: Falters a little when talking about his Air Force service (understandable, given he gave up life in the Air Force because he didn't enjoy being a Drill Sergeant Nasty), but the rest of the song? Grinning like crazy.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue Oni; He's famous for his calm, soft-spoken manner. It also applies to the backing track - his is distinctly calmer and less bombastic than Picasso's.
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I am the greatest: the modern art Muhammad Ali!"
- Bald of Awesome: He's bald and an accomplished artist.
- Flipping the Bird: He does this with paint in the background of his first verse.
- Foreshadowing: Calls himself the modern art Muhammad Ali. Ali would go up against Michael Jordan in the very next battle.
- Gratuitous Spanish: Downplayed. The only time he speaks Spanish is as part of his Overly Long Name.
- Insufferable Genius: His first line is "I am the greatest!" He's accused of being this by Bob, who calls him a 'moody little genius' and snarks that not all art has to be angsty.
- Monochromatic Eyes: Black eyes, just like in real life. They count as Black Eyes of Evil if one considers him to be the antagonist of this battle (which, considering how his opponent acts, is likely true for many).
- Overly Long Name: His full name - Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruiz y Picasso - takes up much of his second verse, and he doesn't even go through all of itnote
- Pet the Dog: Noticeably happier when he mentions his weiner dog, Lump.
- Pretender Diss: Scoffs at Bob's lack of classical training and berates him for using the term "Cubist," claiming he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red Oni; he's loud and aggressive and bombastic. They basically painted him like the Ernest Hemingway of art.
- Shirtless Scene: In the background, while painting the middle finger (see Flipping the Bird above), he is inexplicably shirtless.
- True Art Is Angsty: An in-universe example. Bob accuses Picasso of this and specifically mentions his "Blue Period". This contrasts his own belief that paintings can be happy and loving.
Michael Jordan vs Muhammed Ali
Played by: Keegan-Michael Key
"I'm a flying machine, like the world has never seen!"
- Badass Baritone: His voice is quite deep.
- Bald of Awesome: He's bald and is a legendary basketball player.
- Berserk Button: Does not take kindly to being accused of selling out.
- Character Tic: Sticking his tongue out. Ali says it makes him look like a big dumb goblin.
- Circling Monologue: His last verse is a textbook example; walking around Ali while proving his hypocrisy about "selling out".
- The Gambling Addict: His betting woes are referenced by Ali.
- Handicapped Badass: Says he could school Ali even if he had the flu.
- In a Single Bound: He boasts his jumping ability as true flight.
- It's All About Me: Ali brings up his infamous ball-hogging by saying he should switch to professional golf so he can keep the ball all to himself. Then during his second verse, the music shouts "SWITCH!" and he refuses to hand the mic to an off-screen Pippen.
- Jerkass: Initiates the personal attacks between himself and Ali by mocking the latter's Parkinson's Disease.
- Kick the Dog: The Parkinson's thing was a low blow.
- Lightning Bruiser: A flying machine who drives through whole teams.
- One-Man Army: Self-proclaimed. While Ali fights one guy, he can drive through a whole team.
- Sell-Out: Called this by Muhammad due to his mountain of endorsement deals, though he shoots back that Ali hardly was a stranger to that himself.
Played by: Jordan Peele
"I'm so pretty; my hands are so fast!"
- Afro Asskicker: A relatively subdued 'fro, but it still counts because he is still an asskicker in boxing and rapping.
- Badass Boast: "I'll leave you like Liston, flat on your ass!"
- Berserk Button: Gets noticeably more aggressive after Jordan calls him "Cassius". This actually was an easy way to set him off.
- Boisterous Bruiser: He's a boxer and is very aggressive in his raps.
- Dirty Coward: Jordon accuses Ali of being a coward for being a draft dodger as mentioned below.Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam?
- Draft Dodging: Ali was a conscientious objector who said that the Vietnam war, among other things, went against his Islamic beliefs, though Jordan claims he was just a coward.
- Extremity Extremist: His fists and dope rhymes are the only weapons he needs.
- Hypocrite: Ali ends one of his verses by accusing Jordan of selling out. Michael turns it right around listing off his own endorsement deals.
- Jerkass: As per his actual arrogant ring persona in real life. See Kick the Dog below.
- Kick the Dog: Brings up the death of Jordan's father just so he could say his baseball career was a bigger tragedy.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Justified in that it's basically standard boxing protocol.
Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge
Played by: Peter Shukoff (vs Scrooge) / Lloyd Ahlquist (vs Hillary)
"I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large!"
- Blatant Lies: Calls Hillary "the mother of ISIS", admits that it isn't actually true, but excuses it by saying "I don't do politeness", meaning he even admits that he has no problem lying if that's what it takes to win. Hell, he starts off his verse by claiming to "respect all females".
- Characterization Marches On: Characterization marched on because history did. When "Trump vs. Scrooge" came out in 2013, Trump was known only as a reality TV host and eccentric rich guy with a huge ego. Three years later, he became President of the United States, inevitably leaving an entirely different historical legacy than anyone in 2013 could possibly have expected of him. The change in the world's perspective of him was reflected in "Trump vs. Clinton", which portrayed him as an entirely different character, to the point of changing his actor from Peter to Lloyd.
- Composite Character: During his battle with Scrooge, he's himself plus Jacob Marley.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He has his name on the side of a building, man! (Trump Tower) and he isn't known for his heart.
- Darker and Edgier: His rap battle with Hillary Clinton is significantly darker than his one with Scrooge, with the implication being that he is within a hair's breadth of becoming a President Evil. Even the music is much more ominous and unsettling based on this possibility.
- Dodgy Toupee: Scrooge doesn't believe in ghosts or his hair.
- Everyone Has Standards:
"I'm not known for my heart but you're still getting trumped!"
- In his battle against Scrooge, Trump dismisses him as heartless, despite his own professed reputation for being less than upstanding.
- On the receiving end of this in Season 5 when Abe Lincoln finds him so appalling that he thinks the Republican Party should quit politics for nominating him.
- Eyes Always Shut: Squints for most of the battle against Hillary.
- Fate Worse than Death: Implied when he walks off chained to a briefcase, which becomes much more clear when you realize he fills the role originally played by Jacob Marley, who was also subjected to such a thing and tried to warn Scrooge to keep him from enduring the same fate.
- Good Morning, Crono: He wakes up Scrooge to begin the rap battle.
- Honest John's Dealership: Comes off as this in his second battle where he promises to "make this country great again" and says that everyone will be "living large" after he is through clamping down on Latinos and Muslims. On the flip-side, he accuses Hillary of being this and calls her "crooked".
- Hypocrite Has a Point: He asserts that Bill Clinton is "worse than Bill Cosby" in terms of misogyny but this is after Clinton, in her verse, mentioned his "grab them by the pussy" line. But Trump is still right that her husband isn't exactly faithful.
- Incoming Ham: His first line is belted out at the top of his lungs: "WAKE UP, SCROOGE!"
- Jacob Marley Apparel: In Trump vs Scrooge. While not in the same way as the character he's based on, at the end he shows his chains attached to his briefcase.
- Jacob Marley Warning: Standing in for the trope namer; "you're gonna be rocked by three MCs from the ethereal plane!"
- His first rap battle against Scrooge; he's the only one who disses Scrooge rather than telling him to change his ways.
- In Trump's second battle everything he says that is even remotely complimentary is really a backhanded, bigoted insult, to the point he almost drops the N-word before Lincoln interrupts him.
- Parental Incest: Hillary brings up that the real Trump said his own daughter is so beautiful he would sleep with her if they weren't related; she also points out just how creepy that image is.
- Perpetual Frowner: Peter's attempt at getting the Donald look down has not gone unnoticed. Lloyd, if anything, takes it even further.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Up to Eleven. In his battle with Hillary Clinton, he says the American people want a strong male leader and calls her a "bleeding heart vagina", mocks her for nearly losing to "socialist Jew" Bernie Sanders, promises to kick Latinos out of America and put people to work tearing down mosques, and is on the verge of using the n-word to declare that America is now being run by black people before Abe Lincoln shows up.
- President Evil: In this rap battle, Trump talks about the things that he would do if elected and they include: tearing down mosques, making the country "less latino" and running the country like a casino.
- Rabble Rouser: The rising cheering noise in the background of his verse (vs. Hillary Clinton) is a reference to his reputation as one.
- Scare 'em Straight: In Trump vs Scrooge, his ultimate goal is to scare decency into Scrooge.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: The oldest man to become president in real life, and in his battle with Hillary Clinton, he's a complete Jerkass and a Politically Incorrect Villain who says a lot of racist, sexist, and otherwise socially unacceptable things without a second thought.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In his second rap battle (vs Hillary Clinton) he is far more sexist, racist and generally unpleasant, following the real Trump's behaviour in the 2016 Presidential elections.
- Unexplained Recovery: He's flat-out stated to be dead in his rap battle with Scrooge. Meaning that, within the context of the Epic Rap Battles of History universe, either he was brought back somehow or his ghost is running for president. Or his rap against Scrooge took place after his rap against Clinton.
- Villain Has a Point: The few genuine criticisms he throws at Hillary, such as the mess she left in Benghazi and Clinton herself not being well-liked by much of the population, hit the mark solidly.
Played by: Zach Sherwin
- All-Loving Hero: At the end he vows to be a friend to all men.
- Butt-Monkey: He first gets startled awake by Trump, then yelled at by three rappers - the last of whom is Nightmare Fuel to him - until he nearly starts crying before changing his ways. This was bound to happen since the battle is an abridged version (with new characters) of A Christmas Carol.
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: He starts out being negative to the ghosts appearing to him and dismissing them with insults. After Kanye West, he begins to listen to their advice more."I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!""The only thing that scares me is your gross ghost proboscis!"
- Grumpy Old Man: His first words are how upset he is that his nap was ruined.
- HeelFace Turn: At the end of the battle, he gives up his greedy ways.
- Not Using the "Z" Word: Claims he doesn't believe in ghosts, but refers to Trump as both a "phantom" and an "apparition".
- The Scrooge: The man himself.
J.P. Morgan, The Ghost of Rich Dudes Past
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Yo, I own the railroad! I run these tracks!"
- Anachronism Stew: He's the Ghost of "Rich Dudes Past" and he's haunting Ebenezer Scrooge...who aside from being fictional, would have been decades older then Morgan. Scrooge is more suited to the job than Morgan himself is. Of course, nobody Scrooge fits is contemporary to him anyway so...
- Badass Moustache: Properly rocks the monopoly of it.
- Gag Nose: The only thing Scrooge is frightened of is Morgan's "gross ghost proboscis."
- Honest Corporate Executive: In contrast to Trump, he "owns the railroads" but he says that wealth in the heart is more important than wealth in the wallet.
- Nice Guy: Talks about the importance of having a rich heart.
- Nice Hat: A huge top hat that works.
- Token Good Teammate: For the ghosts' side since he doesn't insult Scrooge.
- Uncle Pennybags: Considerably more friendly and cheery than Trump or Scrooge. They've even got the same mustache.
Kanye West, The Ghost Of What's Right Now
Played by: DeStorm Powers
"Just take a lesson from Yeezy!"
- A Wild Rapper Appears!: A unique example to this series in that he is the first character who is known for rapping to appear in the series (not counting the Epic Peter vs. Nice Lloyd battle, where they obviously play as themselves).
- Hell-Bent for Leather: He's shown wearing the letter jacket and matching leather kilt from his "Black Skinhead" video.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: If you are in the crowd who sees the real Kanye West as an Insufferable Genius, then he falls into this category in this battle, due to calling Scrooge out on his selfishness and suggesting he share his money with the homeless.
- The Power of Friendship: He states that there is more to life than money and that Scrooge should have asked for friends.
- Scary Black Man: Scary enough to finally make Scrooge take his hauntings seriously.
Death, The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Boo! You're gonna die!"
- Brutal Honesty: He doesn't mince words when telling Scrooge about what's to come."You're gonna die!""With no one to love you and no one to cry!"
- Dem Bones: He looks like a living skeleton.
- Don't Fear the Reaper: Downplayed. While he looks scary and talks about Scrooge's imminent death, he comes across as more 'punisher of the wicked' than 'evil spirit'. If Scrooge weren't a selfish man, they wouldn't be having this conversation.
- The Grim Reaper: A ghoul in a Black Cloak that tells Scrooge of his impending death.
- Good Is Not Nice: He's on the same mission as the other ghosts, to redeem Ebeneezer's soul, but is the least pleasant among them. Considering his allies include Donald Trump and Kanye West, that's saying something.
- Jump Scare: He gives one to Scrooge with a "boo!" from behind him.
- Knight of Cerebus: He has no humourous quirks and serves as the figure that ultimately puts Scrooge on the right path. He introduces himself by appearing behind Scrooge and saying "boo" but that's as funny as he got.
- Large Ham: For lacking lungs, he has a big presence.
- The Last of These Is Not Like the Others: The only character in the battle besides Scrooge not to be a Composite Character between a ghost from A Christmas Carol and real-life famous rich person, pretty much just a straight adaptation of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Highlights his Knight of Cerebus status about as well as the original.
- Mood Whiplash: Immediately follows Kanye, even piggybacking off of his beat, but his rhymes couldn't be farther apart in tone.
- Nightmare Fuel: In-universe. The threat that Scrooge will die alone and unmourned, regretting the miserable life he led, and responsible for Tiny Tim's death, is a terrifying enough prospect to cement Scrooge's HeelFace Turn.
- Sickly Green Glow: His background is a swirling green miasma.
- Suddenly Voiced: In contrast to his usual portrayal as The Voiceless, he's a Guttural Growler too. It's quite intimidating.
Rick Grimes vs Walter White
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm a kingpin, cooking crystal in the middle of the day!"
- Badass Baritone: Of the Guttural Growler type.
- Badass Beard: His goatee compliments well with his shaved head.
- Badass Boast:"I don't know what you think I've done, but if we were to battle, I've already won: ask Gus!"
- Bald of Evil: He's bald, and a high-class drug lord.
- Car Fu: Threatens to run over Rick with his Aztec.
- Comedic Underwear Exposure: Averted by his mighty Tighty Walter Whities!
- Consummate Liar: According to Rick, who says he lies all the time.
- Evil Genius: A world-class, super-intelligent chemist turned drug lord. As Rick says, he misuses his own intellect for criminal purposes.
- Evil Gloating: Done in his first verse, when he brags about his criminal career and how he's gotten away with it.
- Guile Hero: Always "Hatching little schemes like a dying MacGyver", according to Rick.
- Guttural Growler: He has a deep raspy voice throughout his raps.
- Hypocrite: He mocks Rick about how his wife cheated on him, conveniently forgetting that his own wife also had an affair.
- Improbable Weapon User: Defends himself from a zombie with his trademark Blue Sky, threatens to kill Rick by liquefying him in a barrel and mowing him down with his car.
- Jerkass Has a Point: He's an asshole about it, but his comments on Rick's leadership skills aren't far off the mark.
- Kubrick Stare: He dolls out a fierce stare in his first verse.
- Nerves of Steel: When a zombie lunges at him, he barely flinches and instead taunts it...with drugs.
- Nice Hat: Puts on his trademark pork pie hat at the start of his verse.
- Pungeon Master: He gets two of 'em in at Rick:Walter: (verse one) "'Cause you're a loser! A failure to your whole entire crew. I've seen Walter Jr. handle "Walkers" better than you!"
Walter: "I'll bury you faster than your partner stole your whole life. No one saw Shane 'coming', except for your wife."
- The other comes at the end of his second verse:
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Walt delivers a scathing one to Rick during the srcond half of his first verse:Walter: (points at Rick) "Here's a hot dose. Let me watch you choke on the truth:"YOU look up to ME, like I'm a pizza ON THE ROOF!""Cos' you're a loser! A failure to your whole entire crew."
- Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: Walt not only admits to being a crime lord, he gloats about it and the reason he's able to get away with it:"Having diner by the pool" (with the D-E-A)"Run you over with Aztec" (G-T-A)"If you ever try to stop" (Heisenberg gettin' paid)
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm a post-apocalyptic cop who's got a lot of issues."
- Action Hero: Effortlessly dispatches three zombies creeping up on him, and doesn't even break his performance at all.
- Badass Boast:"I kill zombies that are better men than you before breakfast!"
- Good Parents: His first words in both verses are concern for his son, Carl. He also declares that he's going to show White "how to be a real dad."
- Excuse Me While I Multitask: Very similar to Clint Eastwood, he casually guns down 3 zombies while rapping at White.
- Failure Hero: Rick's leadership ability gets mocked by Walter, who points out how his morality causes more harm than good and specifically notes how Michonne has to bail him out each time."Always gettin' saved by some samurai booty."
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: He introduces himself as, "a post-apocalyptic cop who's got a lot of issues."
- Honor Before Reason: Watler claims that Rick's sense of duty keeps getting his crew in trouble.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: Seen when he casually dispatches several zombies halfway into his second verse. Rick drops each of them with a single headshot, without ever taking his eyes off Walter.
- Nice Hat: Has his sheriff hat on the whole time.
- Not So Above It All: Rick is dead serious for most of the battle, minus the parts where he can be seen dancing in the background, or pop locking during his verse.
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: The second time he shouts "Carl!" it's done the same way as the Announcer speaks.
- Papa Wolf: He calls Walter out on his parenting, especially how he lies to Skyler.
- The Pig Pen: Has sweaty armpits and is proud of it!
- Say My Name: "Carl!"
- Southern-Fried Private: His Southern drawl is quite thick, and his Improbable Aiming Skills hint at a Cowboy Cop side to him.
- Stealth Insult: He calls Walter a lab rat in his first verse. Think about it...
- Stealth Pun: Near the beginning of his first verse, Rick cleverly refers to himself "a Grade A MC"note .
- What the Hell, Hero?: He calls out White on how he tore his family apart and his infamous Slowly Slipping Into Evil.
- You Could Have Used Your Powers for Good: Claims White misuses his intelligence.
Goku vs Superman
Played by: Ray William Johnson
"You can't flow to Son Goku; I Kaio-ken get it done!"
- Adaptation Dye-Job: Goku's first hairstyle is black (as it is in any other medium), but its shape is the same as his hair when he turns Super Saiyan (which is blonde). So technically, his hair manages to avert this and play it straight over the course of the battle.
- Anime Hair: Standing tall, proud, and spiky.
- Badass Boast: "There's only one way this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again!"
- Battle Aura: For all of the battle he is glowing with power up or super sayian light.
- Beat Them at Their Own Game: Since Superman takes a shot a Goku by bragging he'd bang his wife, Chichi, Goku retaliates in his next verse by saying he'd do the same thing to Superman's Love Interest, Lois!Goku: (at Superman) "I'll report to Lois Lane and Superman that HO!"
- Clothing Damage: His clothes are already tattered. When he transforms to Super Saiyan, his outer shirt gets completely destroyed by Superman's eye beams.
- Glowing Eyes of Doom: His eyes turn a noticeably glowing blue when he goes Super Saiyan. There are two shots during the battle that focus on them and they're rather creepy.
- Hot-Blooded: His very first line is partly about him pumping himself up.
- Incoming Ham: His first two lines, which he screams at the top of his lungs.
- Large Ham: He shouts all of his lines while powering up.
- No-Sell: Superman attempts to hit him with heat vision right as Goku goes Super Saiyan and only causes Clothing Damage. Goku even calls him on it."Defeat me with heat beams? You're crazy."
- Precision F-Strike: "YOUR POWERS HAVE BEEN BORING SINCE THE NINETEEN-FUCKING-FORTIES!" It's the only time either character uses an obscenity in said battle.
- Race Lift: Technically averted. Goku has the physical traits of an Asian person, and he's played by a part-Asian actor (Indian, to be specific), but said actor is Ambiguously Brown. However, given that Goku is an alien, race isn't crucial to the character's appearance.
- Screaming Warrior: Superman hangs a lampshade on it."Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch and over nine thousand screams!"
- Speak Ill of the Dead: He brings up the late Christopher Reeve's tragic accident during the rap's finale and brags that this Superman will suffer the same fate."There's only one way that this battle's gonna end, one more Superman who is never gonna walk again!"
- Super Mode: He goes Super Saiyan midway in his first verse.
- Teeny Weenie: Superman thinks he wears "hammer pants" to hide his tiny genitals.
- Unstoppable Rage: Just like when he fought Frieza, he's furious from the start of his verse. Superman's first verse must have truly pissed him off.
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Greasy, slick emcee from DC!"
- Badass Baritone: Has the typical superhero voice going on.
- Berserk Button: Downplayed. He smiles through the entire battle against Goku and only frowns when the Saiyan brings up that he lost to Batman, and only then does Superman turn around to engage Goku in Air Jousting.
- Boring Invincible Hero: Goku thinks so. When he watches Superman's movies all he does is watch the clock.
- Catchphrase: A variant on "This looks like a job for Superman!" appears in the battle.
- Eye Beams: He uses them in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop Goku reaching Super Saiyan.Goku: "Defeat me with heat beams? You're crazy!"
- I Banged Your Mom: A variant; he bragged to Goku that he'll screw his wife Chi-Chi. Goku retaliated that he'll do the same to Lois Lane, Superman's Love Interest.
- Insufferable Genius: He insults the Saiyans as being intellectually primitive while alluding to the super-intelligence common to Kryptonians.
- Kryptonite Factor: Goku states "There's nothing fun about a superhero scared of Green Rocks."
- Malicious Misnaming: At the end of his first verse, he takes a stab at Goku's Saiyan name (Kakarot) by calling him a Karrot.
- Person as Verb: Superman claims Goku is "Krillin it" in a reference to Krillin's Butt-Monkey status.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: "Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan". He also makes a joke about Goku having "tiny genitals".
- Pungeon Master: Both his verses are riddled with DBZ references, puns, and in-jokes. From telling Goku he'd make his nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties, to sneaking in a Title Drop while pointing at his crotch when he tells Goku:Superman: (imitating DBZ narrator) "From Z to GT, you can DRAGON BALL DEEZ!"
- Retcon: Goku laments his series' constant use of these."HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GONNA REWRITE YOUR STORY?!"
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Done with increasingly small gestures between his thumb and index finger for emphasis:Superman: (at Goku) "One breath, I'll freeze your whole measly species.""You're primitive and limited. You live in a village of idiots.""Step in Metropolis, I'll snap a Karrot. Period."
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He flies into the sky at the end of his second verse more than likely figuring he'd won. Goku chases him.
- Shout-Out: In his second verse, he alludes to Vegeta's "It's OVER 9,000!!" scene by doing a dead-on Vegeta impersonation; complete with pretending to crush an imaginary scouter.Superman: (smug laugh) "Haha! Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch -"Superman: (imitating Vegeta) "-and OVER 9,000 SCREAMS!!"
- Smug Super: He seems to be channeling Super Dickery Superman. The guy even stops to pose for a quick photograph mid-battle and just check the smirk on his face during both verses. Especially the part where he mentions what he'd do to Goku's wife, Chichi!
- Transformation Sequence: He changes from his Clark Kent disguise during the title card.
- Underwear of Power: Goku mocks him for wearing these, and says that he can see Superman's camel toe.
Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe
Played by: Zach Sherwin
"See, I'm the author with the blood and gore lore galore that'll horrify a reader to the core!"
- Always Someone Better: He claims he'll always have more fame, money, talent and success than Poe could hope to achieve.
- Attention Deficit Creator Disorder: Boasts about just how quickly he can pump out best-selling books.
- Boring Insult: He yawns during Poe's first verse and several of his own lines are about how Poe's work isn't scary.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: He finishes off the rap by mimicking The Raven's "nevermore".
- Deadpan Snarker: His rants against Poe drip with sarcasm.
- Everyone Has Standards: A grown man perving on their thirteen year old cousin is too disturbing for him.
- Glory Hound: Poe takes a potshot at his tendency to do Creator Cameos.
- Hypocrite: Slams Poe for his opium addiction and alcoholism despite having the exact same problems himself.
- Nerd: It's the nasally voice and giant glasses that give off this impression.
- Nonchalant Dodge: Simply leans back to avoid Poe's flurry of bats.
- Pungeon Master: Much of his first verse plays on the titles of his novels for several lines straight.
- Smug Smiler: He has a smug smile throughout the battle.
- Throw the Book at Them: He's got a lot of "big thick books" that he'd love to smack Poe with. He wrote all of them.
- Workaholic: Self-admitted and with an additional "fiction addiction!"
Played by: George Watsky
"Poe's poems pwn posers!"
- Added Alliterative Appeal: "Your flow's so-so, Poe's poems pwn posers!"
- Badass Mustache: Sports his iconic facial hair.
- Can't Catch Up: Points out that no matter how popular King's books are they'll never come close to Poe's own groundbreaking work ("You'll never be near me!"). He's the Horror Lord after all.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Had a very unhappy history and he claims experience makes his work superior to King's.
- Emo: King lampoons him as being one.
- King: You wanna talk shop, you gothed-out fop? Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top.
- Kissing Cousins: King notes that he married his 13 year old cousin at the age of 27.
- Motor Mouth: During his second verse his speed greatly increases.
- Pretender Diss: Points out that while King wrote about families torn apart and crippling tragedies, often as allegories for his struggles with alcohol, Poe's life was far more troubled and tragic. He also calls King a faux Bram Stoker.
- Red Baron: Calls himself "The Horror Lord".
- Slasher Smile: He does one during his first verse, and it's both creepy and hilarious at the same time.
- Vocal Dissonance: Has much a more energetic voice than one might expect from his appearance.
Sir Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye
Sir Isaac Newton
Played by: "Weird Al" Yankovic
"I'm a master; I discovered gravity!"
- The Ace: Not even Nye can resist slipping in references to his many achievements.
- Badass Boast: Newton delivers two, to Nye. One in each verse:Sir Isaac Newton: (verse one) "You're no match for me, you got a Bach degree. I've got a unit of force named after me!"
Sir Isaac Newton: (verse two) "I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plain of understanding and, I can calculate the weight, or the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind YOU'RE STANDING IN!!"
- The second is a pointed one, which clearly intimidates Nye:
- Blasphemous Boast: Mentions that he's "God's Gift" while talking about how he was born on Christmas day.
- Broken Ace: Nye points out that while he was an accomplished scientist, he never married, had only a few friends, and overall a lousy personal life.
- Celibate Eccentric Genius: Although Bill Nye claims he was just unlucky.You wrote the book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body!
- Eye Scream: He once pushed a needle around his eyeball to prod at its back side as part of an experiment to research how color is perceived, which Nye indirectly references.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: As Bill Nye references, he may have died of mercury poisoning he brought upon himself.
- Hypocrite: He criticizes Bill Nye for "[wasting] time debating creationists", despite the fact that he himself was a fairly outspoken one.
- Jaded Washout: He is accused by Nye of being one. While Nye's "hitting his stride" he asks what Newton did with the back half of his life.
- Loners Are Freaks: Nye's verses rip on how he never married and had few friends.
- Nerds Are Virgins: "You wrote the book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body!"
- Motor Mouth: Not to Watsky levels, but his last line is still impressive.Newton: The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square-root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?
- Special Guest: "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"You don't wanna mess with the guy, Bill Nye!"
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: One of the interpretations: he uses Newton's achievements to take shots at his personal life. Then again, see Nice Guy.
- Butt-Monkey: It's no secret he's a bit outclassed, even though he had some good lines. Even his own teammate is somewhat condescending towards him.Tyson: Why don't you pick on a brain your own size?
- Joke Character: He tries to diss Newton, but he's pretty clearly completely out of his depth and doesn't stand any sort of chance on his own requiring a teammate to bail him out.
- Nice Guy: The other interpretation; he spends half of his verse praising his opponent. Then again see Bitch in Sheep's Clothing.
- Old Shame: Newton thinks he's a joke because he was on a silly children's show and Nye insists that he's doing other stuff now.
- The Power of Friendship: Seems to be a running theme with him and Tyson. Tyson jumps in to help him out and both target Newton's lack of friends and his mistreatment of the few he had. Plus, Carl Sagan, Tyson's mentor, cameos during Nye's segments.
Played by: Chali 2na
"Astrophysics black guy; Hayden Planetary fly."
- Ascended Meme: "We got a badass over here!"
- Badass Baritone: His voice is INCREDIBLY deep.
- In the Behind the Scenes, Peter said he based his voices for Darth Vader and Santa Claus and any time he does a deep voice is him "trying to channel the spirit of Chali 2na".
- Big Damn Heroes: Intervenes when Nye seems a bit too intimidated by Newton's Motor Mouth.
- Black and Nerdy: A self-proclaimed Astrophysics Black Guy.
- Irony: His famous "we've got a badass over here" statement originates from a video where Tyson talks about Isaac Newton's involvement with calculus; here, he's rapping against that same guy.
- Soul Brotha: He "put the swag back in science."
- Special Guest: Chali 2na ladies and gents! note
George Washington vs William Wallace
Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I got a state and a day and a DC!"
- Ascended Extra: In Season 1, he was a cameo in "Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays". In this season, he's got his own rap battle against William Wallace.
- Authority Equals Ass Kicking: The very first President of the United States. If that's not enough, he was also general of the Continental Army.
- Ax-Crazy: Seems to relish the thought of cutting Scottish throats a bit too much.
- Combat Pragmatist: Makes no bones about his willingness to attack a man while he's sleeping.
- Cultural Posturing: Points out that his country's known for being a superpower, while Wallace's is known for golf and haggis.
- Early-Bird Cameo: He first appeared in Ben Franklin's battle.
- Four Star Bad Ass: General of the Continental Army.
- General Failure: Wallace says he's a horrible tactician and this is why the British Army didn't want him.
- Groin Attack: Threatens to give a knee to Wallace's "Moose Knuckle". Wallace even covers up his groin in response to the threat.
- Hypocrite: Wallace likes to bring up the fact that he owned slaves.Wallace: You died owning slaves. I died setting men free! Scot-free!
- Slobs vs. Snobs: The snob to Wallace's slob, "powdered prick" in a "little blousy outfit" and such, though he's pretty rough-and-tumble himself.
Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I pop my kilt, strap my sword in my hilt, step on the battlefield, and I'm ready to kill!"
- Anachronism Stew: Appears with his face painted in woad like he was a Pict or something. He's also shown wearing a kilt, even though he died long before those even existed.
- BFS: Brings his giant claymore to the battle.
- Bilingual Bonus: He shouts "Scotland forever!" in Gaelic at one point.
- Brave Scot: But of course! "That's the Highland Way." (The real Wallace was not a Highlander incidentally. He was a feudal lord and class-wise had more in common with the English than Mel Gibson would have you believe).
- Cool Sword: His claymore is really big and ornate.
- Denzel Washington: The only man named "Washington" that he trusts.
- Everything's Louder with Bagpipes: Naturally, these are heard in the background when Wallace is rapping.
- Historical Hero Upgrade: The rap battle uses Mel Gibson's Braveheart and plays him off a non-movie Washington. The real Wallace would have provided America's First President more ammunition, on account of being a serf-owning feudal lord who thought nothing of murdering English peasants and villagers in his campaign to sack the city of York (which he failed to reach in life).
- Hypocrite: Wallace mocks Washington's slave ownership twice, but slavery (just not always African) was both practiced and legal in Scotland before and while Wallace lived and for over 300 years after he died.
- Insult Backfire: Washington comments on his hanging, drawing and quartering, but he says he could still rap circles around Washington even if he was.
- Man in a Kilt: A Dummied Out scene that only appeared on a Youtube commercial that aired in theaters showed Wallace lifting up his kilt and flashing George Washington, showing that he's wearing nothing underneath.
- Rasputinian Death: Both himself and Washington mention how he's hanged, drawn and quartered, and castrated.
- Screaming Warrior: Louder and more violent than Washington.
- The Southpaw: He wields the sword with his left-hand.
- Slobs vs. Snobs: The slob to Washington's snob, what with the facepaint, the vulgar language, etc.
- The Theme Park Version: Next to a fairly accurate (if extra ax-crazy) rendition of Washington, we have Mel Gibson's Braveheart.
- Violent Glaswegian: He really wants a piece of George Washington."I'll knock you the fuck out, mate!"
- What the Hell, Hero?: Towards George Washington being a slave owner. Specifically blasting him for wearing fancy clothes made with slave labor.
Artists vs TMNT
Voiced by: Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist
Suit Actors: Lloyd Ahlquist and Xin Wuku
"We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy!"
- Bash Brothers: Four brothers who rap together and fight together.
- Bratty Half-Pint: Donatello di Bardi dismisses them as this, saying they're "too immature" to know about the works of their opponents.
- Kubrick Stare: The Turtles pull off one hell of a Death Glare as they start their verse.
- Let's Get Dangerous!:"The wisdom of our master (SPLINTER!) - Taught us not to rush to violence - But our master (MASTER SPLINTER!) - AIN'T HERE, DUDE!"
- Martial Pacifist: Their master (SPLINTER!) taught them not to rush to violence and also taught them to use their weapons.
- Mythology Gag:
- When Michaelangelo says "Ain't here Dudes!" we see the other turtles behind him, all of them with red bandanas. The original TMNT mirage comic had all the turtles sporting identical red bandanas.
- One of Mikey's lines is "I can bebop and steady rock a mic, sucka'!", partly name dropping Bebop and Rocksteady.
- Named After Someone Famous: The four artists they're rapping against.
- Nintendo Hard: Their first NES game, which Michaelangelo di Simoni references; "we're like your NES game cause' we can't be beat!"
- Obfuscating Stupidity: All the turtles make references to the accomplishments of their artist counterparts: Donatello claims to not know a lot about the Artists while referencing Donatello di Bardi's sculpture of Gattamelata, Leo mentions Leonardo's helicopter, Mike uses the word "Sistine" which is a reference to Michelangelo painting the Sistine chapel, and Raph says he'll put the artist back in school, a reference to Raphael's fresco "The School of Athens", the background of which serves as the artists' stage.
- Slobs vs. Snobs: The Turtles live in a sewer and become intelligent after coming into contact with radioactive ooze, while the Artists brushed shoulders with the Italian upper class.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza. After finishing their rap with "chowing on your tower made of pizza" Leo shouts for them to save him a slice.
- Weapon of Choice: Every Turtle makes reference to their weapon except Donatello, who is nonetheless leaning on his bo staff during his verse.
Played by: Charles Lincoln 'Link' Neal III
"You don't really wanna step to da Vinci!"
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: He wears blue like the turtle named after him.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Claims to love the ladies, but in Real Life, he was rumored to have had trysts with men.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Leonardo
- Renaissance Man: He calls himself one of the Renaissance's fathers. He's got "the classical technique", i.e. rapping technique. He also came up with a prototype helicopter 400 years before one was created, something Leonardo the turtle references.
Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino
Played by: Anthony Padilla
"Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned 'til I croaked!"
- The Casanova: He had a whole lot of affairs, so much that eventually died after a particularly exhausting session.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: He wears red like the turtle named after him.
- Nonstandard Character Design: The only one of the Artists who doesn't have a beard. He died at the tender age of 37, compared to the other Artists, who died in their 60s or 80s.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Raphael
- Out with a Bang: His assistant said he "boned 'till he croaked" with his favorite mistress Margherita Luti.
Played by: Ian Hecox
"I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath!"
- Badass Boast: "I made David but I'll slay you like Goliath!"
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: He wears orange like the turtle named after him.
- A God Am I: Claims himself to be a Rap God.
- Hitler Cam: Used deliberately to make him look like "a giant" when he first appears.
- Large Ham: Makes up for being the shortest artist in the group by having No Indoor Voice.
- The Napoleon: For all his boasting of his size, he's the shortest of the Artists when seen side-by-side.
- Nice Hat: All of his teammates do, but he doesn't.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Michelangelo
Donatello di Niccolò di Betto Bardi
Played by: Rhett McLaughlin
"Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six-foot chisel!"