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Characters / ERB Season 3

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Epic Rap Battles of History character index
Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Flash in the Pan

Warning- Spoilers!

(for Hitler vs Vader Round 3 see Season 1)

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     Blackbeard vs Al Capone 

Blackbeard

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm an irate pirate; real swashbuckling buccaneer!"
  • Awesome Mc Cool Name: "I'm a criminal legend, with a badass name!" To quote Edward "Blackbeard" Teach himself.
  • Artistic License – Gun Safety: He uses one of his pistols as a pointer. At one point, he points it at his own head while talking about Al Capone having "an STD in his brain".
  • Badass Boast:
    • His second verse is loaded with these:
    Blackbeard: "The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation but I'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion."
    "So prepare to learn the Davy Jones locker combination."
    "Forty cannon on the Queen Anne. Your gang can't stop it. I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit."
    • And he ends by calling himself a criminal legend with a badass name.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Enormously proud of his ruthlessness and his cold heart.
  • Cool Ship: The Queen Anne's Revenge, featured in his background. He even mentions her 40 cannons.
  • Evil Sounds Raspy: He doesn't talk as much as he roars in the form of words.
  • Guns Akimbo: Shows off a pair of guns in the background in his first verse.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Blackbeard also had syphilis but Al died from it, whereas Blackbeard didn't.
  • Jerkass: Capone accuses Blackbeard of being one, as he makes fun of Capone's syphilis.
  • Kubrick Stare: In his intro and very often while he raps, he makes a sinister look up at Capone.
  • Licking the Blade: Tastes his cutlass in his intro, because he's a pirate.
  • Off with His Head!: Capone reminds Blackbeard that they cut his head off and hung it from a rope.
  • The Pigpen: Capone makes fun of his filthy living conditions.
  • Red and Black and Evil All Over: He's a vicious criminal (by his own admission) and his entire color palette is red and black (with touches of gold).
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: More energetic than Capone. He's even wearing a bright red coat!
  • Slasher Smile: In his intro he has this crazy look on him.
  • Stop Being Stereotypical: He says that he's the real deal because he doesn't follow cartoon cliches associated with pirates such as parrots and ear rings.
  • Talk Like a Pirate: Heavily into the "arrgh" accent.
  • Villain Cred: If you look closely during Capone's verses, you can see Blackbeard seemingly nodding in approval as if he's impressed by Al's rapping.

Al Capone

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I run an intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect!"
  • Badass Boast:
    • Most of his first verse has him addressing Blackbeard directly, by telling him exactly what he'd do to him:
    Capone: (at Blackbeard) "I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies,"
    "Then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money."
    "Then maybe they'll find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach."
    "This is Capone rappin'. I'm cappin' this Captain, capiché?"
    • Capone follows that one up with another one, during his second verse:
    Capone: "I'm the MC assassin, slash like Edward Kenway. Rap. So. HARD, call me "Al. Dente."
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: His business suit strikes a contrast with Blackbeard's coat.
  • Combat Pragmatist: His men contract Edward Kenway to kill Blackbeard's men while Al keeps him distracted with the rap battle.
  • Diabolical Mastermind: He's running an "intricate criminal syndicate, so show respect".
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Downplayed but present when he mentions his kids like to dress up as Blackbeard for Halloween.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He doesn't take kindly to Blackbeard using his syphilis as a diss.
  • Fat Bastard: He has more meat on him then Blackbeard, who uses this as an insult.
  • Justice by Other Legal Means: Blackbeard mocks how he was toppled by tax evasion.
  • Kill It with Fire: Threatens to set Blackbeard's hat fuse on fire and burn down his whole crew.
  • Lame Comeback: "I had syphillis yeah, well you're a huge dick."
  • A Lighter Shade of Black: Is shown to be less braggadocios about his criminal acts than Blackbeard and is genuinely disturbed by his opponent making fun of his syphilis.
  • Man of Wealth and Taste: Just look at his suit and wonder how he paid for it.
  • The Mafia: It's what he's known for.
  • Nerves of Steel: Capone is not only completely unfazed by his opponent's lines, but in fact dismisses Teach outright.
  • Prison Rape: Blackbeard thinks that Al would've been fine at The Alcatraz if he dropped the soap as little as he drops good rap lines.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: His presence is intense but he is not as expressive as Blackbeard. It's emphasized by his deep blue suit.
  • Say My Own Name: In the form of a pun, used as a final jab at Blackbeard:
    Capone: "Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwn'd."
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Al shows up for the battle decked out in a three-piece suit, a trench coat, and a fedora.
  • Smug Smiler: Check the smirk on his face during Blackbeard's second verse. Not only is Capone not impressed, he puts his hands in his pockets while waiting for him to finish.
  • Teeny Weenie: Blackbeard claims that no woman would touch him even using a tweezer.

     Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc 

Miley Cyrus

Played by: Michelle Glavan
"It's Miley Cyrus; I'm the hottest thing since Britney, bitch!"
  • Aside Glance: Blink and you'll miss it, but during Joan's second verse (around the end of "you ratchet skank"), Miley glances back at the camera, which is behind her, with a disgusted look.
  • Blasphemous Boast: "When I come under fire, I can hash-tag-handle-it! If God's in your corner, than girl you need better management!"
  • Deadpan Snarker: Her response to Joan's first verse is a sarcastic "Sweet burn." "No pun intended!"
  • Maniac Tongue: Michelle did some research and noted that Miley regularly flashed her tongue.
  • No-Sell: She doesn't lose her temper or seem intimidated once, even when Joan flips out near the end. She even brushes off said flip-off with a Stealth Insult. She brushes off everything Joan says.
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten: Joan tries to invoke this in regards to Miley's twerking. Miley twerks throughout the video and even references it in her first verse.
  • Really Gets Around: Many of Joan's (and even some of Miley's) lines refer to how she's been having sex with many guys.
  • Shaking the Rump: Twerks both in the intro sequence and during Joan's first verse. The latter case may double as a taunt to Joan, since Miley was shaking her rear right in Joan's face.
  • Stealth Insult: After Joan flips out at her blaspheming, Miley just smirks and responds with this:
    "Sweet burn... no pun intended!"
  • That Man Is Dead: She says she killed her alter ego of Hannah Montana.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "It's Miley Cyrus, I'm the hottest thing since Britney, bitch!"

Joan of Arc

Played by: Jessi Smiles
"When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint!"

     Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso 

Bob Ross

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm so glad you could join me today."
  • Aerith and Bob: One thing Pablo points out is his own Overly Long Name, then says "Back to you, Bob."
  • Afro Asskicker: Even with the laid-back attitude, he's not to be messed with.
  • Bob Ross Rib: This is a given; a lot of visual elements in his raps, along with how he raps with a calm, soothing voice, are all pulled directly from The Joy of Painting show.
  • Meaningful Background Event: His background is black at first, just like the set of his show. However, during his first verse, he paints one of his famous landscapes onto the background (using the same "brushing" special effect his show would sometimes open with), and that becomes his background for the rest of the battle.
  • Mood-Swinger: Given how he's always calm and pleasant, it's a downplayed example.
    • While he acts one hundred percent cheerful in his own verses, he's shown with some combination of smugness and Tranquil Fury during Pablo's. Notice his derivative smirk when Pablo calls himself "the modern art Muhammad Ali" and his faltering smile when Pablo says he taught people how to suck at painting.
    • At the start of his second verse, he proudly declares that he served in the military for his first two lines, and he stops smiling in favour of having a neutral yet proud expression while saluting and posing. When his third line starts, he suddenly starts smiling again and does a goofy dance.
  • Nice Guy: It's difficult to tell if he's really trying to put down Picasso, or if he sees this as a friendly competition.
  • Patriotic Fervor: Proudly declares that he served 20 years in the United States Air Force.
  • Precision F-Strike: It's very mild, but the only time he swears in the entire battle.
    "Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
  • Perpetual Smiler: Falters a little when talking about his Air Force service (understandable, given he gave up life in the Air Force because he didn't enjoy being a Drill Sergeant Nasty), but the rest of the song? Grinning like crazy.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue Oni; He's famous for his calm, soft-spoken manner. It also applies to the backing track - his is distinctly calmer and less bombastic than Picasso's.

Pablo Picasso

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I am the greatest: the modern art Muhammad Ali!"
  • Flipping the Bird: He does this with paint in the background of his first verse.
  • Foreshadowing: Calls himself the modern art Muhammad Ali. Ali would go up against Michael Jordan in the very next battle.
  • Gratuitous Spanish: Downplayed. The only time he speaks Spanish is as part of his Overly Long Name.
  • Insufferable Genius: His first line is "I am the greatest!" He's accused of being this by Bob, who calls him a 'moody little genius' and snarks that not all art has to be angsty.
  • Monochromatic Eyes: Black eyes, just like in real life. They count as Black Eyes of Evil if one considers him to be the antagonist of this battle (which, considering how his opponent acts, is likely true for many).
  • Overly Long Name: His full name - Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Marí­a de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santí­sima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruiz y Picasso - takes up much of his second verse, and he doesn't even go through all of itnote 
  • Pet the Dog: Noticeably happier when he mentions his weiner dog, Lump.
  • Pretender Diss: Scoffs at Bob's lack of classical training and berates him for using the term "Cubist," claiming he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red Oni; he's loud and aggressive and bombastic. They basically painted him like the Ernest Hemingway of art.
  • Shirtless Scene: In the background, while painting the middle finger (see Flipping the Bird above), he is inexplicably shirtless.
  • True Art Is Angsty: An in-universe example. Bob accuses Picasso of this and specifically mentions his "Blue Period". This contrasts his own belief that paintings can be happy and loving.

Lump

Picasso's pet daschund (who actually belonged to a friend of his).

     Michael Jordan vs Muhammed Ali 

Michael Jordan

Played by: Keegan-Michael Key
"I'm a flying machine, like the world has never seen!"
  • Berserk Button: Does not take kindly to being accused of selling out.
  • Character Tic: Sticking his tongue out. Ali says it makes him look like a big dumb goblin.
  • Circling Monologue: His last verse is a textbook example; walking around Ali while proving his hypocrisy about "selling out".
  • The Gambling Addict: His betting woes are referenced by Ali.
  • Handicapped Badass: Says he could school Ali even if he had the flu. note 
  • In a Single Bound: He boasts his jumping ability as true flight.
  • It's All About Me: Ali brings up his infamous ball-hogging by saying he should switch to professional golf so he can keep the ball all to himself. Then during his second verse, the music shouts "SWITCH!" and he refuses to hand the mic to an off-screen Pippen.
  • Jerk Jock: Initiates the personal attacks between himself and Ali by mocking the latter's Parkinson's Disease.
  • Kick the Dog: The Parkinson's thing was a low blow.
  • Lightning Bruiser: A flying machine who drives through whole teams.
  • One-Man Army: Self-proclaimed. While Ali fights one guy, he can drive through a whole team.
  • Sell-Out: Called this by Muhammad due to his mountain of endorsement deals, though he shoots back that Ali hardly was a stranger to that himself.

Muhammad Ali

Played by: Jordan Peele
"I'm so pretty; my hands are so fast!"
  • Adaptational Nice Guy: This Ali's trash-talk is a lot cleaner and more politically correct than the kind he famously got up to in real life, notable considering that usually contestants in ERB are made more vulgar and crude rather than the opposite.note 
  • Afro Asskicker: A relatively subdued 'fro, but it still counts because he is still an asskicker in boxing and rapping.
  • Badass Boast: "I'll leave you like Liston, flat on your ass!"
  • Boisterous Bruiser: He's a boxer and is very aggressive in his raps.
  • Dirty Coward: Jordon accuses Ali of being a coward for being a draft dodger as mentioned below.
    Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam?
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Gets noticeably more aggressive after Jordan calls him "Cassius". This actually was an easy way to set him off.
  • Draft Dodging: Ali was a conscientious objector who said that The Vietnam War, among other things, went against his Islamic beliefs, though Jordan claims he was just a coward.
  • Extremity Extremist: His fists and dope rhymes are the only weapons he needs.
  • The Fighting Narcissist: He's a boxer who brags about how "pretty" he is.
  • Hypocrite: Ali ends one of his verses by accusing Jordan of selling out. Michael turns it right around listing off his own endorsement deals.
  • Jerk Jock: As per his actual arrogant ring persona in real life. See Kick the Dog below.
  • Kick the Dog: Brings up the death of Jordan's father just so he could say his baseball career was a bigger tragedy.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Justified in that it's basically standard boxing protocol.

     Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge 

Donald Trump

See the main page for him.

Ebenezer Scrooge

Played by: Zach Sherwin
"Bah, humbug!"
  • All-Loving Hero: At the end he vows to be a friend to all men.
  • Being Evil Sucks: Just like in the novel, the ghosts emphasize how Scrooge's unrelenting greed has just made him a miserable shell of a person; J.P. Morgan points out how Scrooge's descent into misanthropy started when he got rejected by his girlfriend and became more bitter and miserly until his greed consumed his entire life; Kanye West emphasizes how Scrooge is unable to enjoy his wealth because he has no friends and overall isolates himself from the world; and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows Scrooge the Bad Future that will result from his failure to change his cruel ways: he'll die alone, unmourned, and drowning in guilt for the suffering he caused.
  • Butt-Monkey: He first gets startled awake by Trump, then yelled at by three rappers - the last of whom is Nightmare Fuel to him - until he nearly starts crying before changing his ways. This was bound to happen since the battle is an abridged version (with new characters) of A Christmas Carol.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: He starts out being negative to the ghosts appearing to him and dismissing them with insults. After Kanye West, he begins to listen to their advice more.
    "I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!"
    "The only thing that scares me is your gross ghost proboscis!"
  • Grumpy Old Man: His first words are how upset he is that his nap was ruined.
  • Heel–Face Turn: At the end of the battle, he gives up his greedy ways.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come says that, unless he changes his ways, Scrooge will go to his grave regretting how his rampant greed caused innocent people (such as his employee's terminally ill son) to suffer. This revelation causes the present-day Scrooge to regret his actions and promise to become a better person.
  • Not Using the "Z" Word: Claims he doesn't believe in ghosts, but refers to Trump as both a "phantom" and an "apparition".
  • The Scrooge: The man himself.
  • You Need to Get Laid: A retroactive example; J.P. Morgan says that Scrooge messed up when decided to prioritize his money over his girlfriend, and that if he wanted to avoid becoming the miserable Jerkass he is today, he should've chosen to get laid instead.
    J.P. Morgan: You got dumped on a bench; now, you're pissed at the world
    You should've made like Sebastian and kissed the girl!

J.P. Morgan, The Ghost of Rich Dudes Past

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Yo, I own the railroad! I run these tracks!"
  • Anachronism Stew: He's the Ghost of "Rich Dudes Past" and he's haunting Ebenezer Scrooge... who aside from being fictional, would have been decades older then Morgan. note  Scrooge is more suited to the job than Morgan himself is. Of course, nobody Scrooge fits is contemporary to him anyway, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that this version of Scrooge is from the present day.
  • The Cameo: Makes a brief appearance in Che Guevara vs Guy Fawkes battle when Fawkes brings up how capitalists are making money off the Communist rebel Che's likeness.
  • Cool Old Guy: A old man who is rich in the bank and in the heart.
  • Gag Nose: The only thing Scrooge is frightened of is Morgan's "gross ghost proboscis."
  • Honest Corporate Executive: In contrast to Trump, he "owns the railroads" but he says that wealth in the heart is more important than wealth in the wallet.
  • Nice Guy: Talks about the importance of having a rich heart.
  • Signature Headgear: He wears a huge top hat of the type common among rich men of his time.
  • Token Good Teammate: He's the least aggressive or confrontational of any of the ghosts that visit Scrooge.
  • Uncle Pennybags: Considerably more friendly and cheery than Trump or Scrooge. He's even the inspiration for the Trope Namer, as he points out.

Kanye West, The Ghost Of What's Right Now

Played by: DeStorm Powers
"Just take a lesson from Yeezy!"
  • A Wild Rapper Appears!: A unique example to this series in that he is the first character who is known for rapping to appear in the series (not counting the Epic Peter vs. Nice Lloyd battle, where they obviously play as themselves).
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: He's shown wearing the letter jacket and matching leather kilt from his "Black Skinhead" video.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: If you are in the crowd who sees the real Kanye West as an Insufferable Genius, then he falls into this category in this battle, due to calling Scrooge out on his selfishness and suggesting he share his money with the homeless.
  • Man in a Kilt: Again, like the "Black Skinhead" video, Kanye's wearing a black leather kilt over black jeans. The kilt functions similarly to the Ghost of Christmas Present's robe, as Kanye lifts it up to reveal Ignorance and Want.
  • The Power of Friendship: He states that there is more to life than money and that Scrooge should have asked for friends.
  • Scary Black Man: Scary enough to finally make Scrooge take his hauntings seriously.
  • Sunglasses at Night: Since he's wearing the outfit from his "Black Skinhead" video, he's shown wearing his Cool Shades indoors in a scene set late at night.

Death, The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Boo! You're gonna die!"
  • Brutal Honesty: He doesn't mince words when telling Scrooge about what's to come.
    "You're gonna die!"
    "With no one to love you and no one to cry!"
  • Dem Bones: He looks like a living skeleton.
  • Don't Fear the Reaper: Downplayed. While he looks scary and talks about Scrooge's imminent death, he comes across as more 'punisher of the wicked' than 'evil spirit'. If Scrooge weren't a selfish man, they wouldn't be having this conversation.
  • The Grim Reaper: A ghoul in a Black Cloak that tells Scrooge of his impending death.
  • Good is Not Nice: He's on the same mission as the other ghosts, to redeem Ebeneezer's soul, but is the least pleasant among them. Considering his allies include Donald Trump and Kanye West, that's saying something.
  • Jump Scare: He gives one to Scrooge with a "boo!" from behind him.
  • Knight of Cerebus: He has no humourous quirks and serves as the figure that ultimately puts Scrooge on the right path. He introduces himself by appearing behind Scrooge and saying "boo" but that's as funny as he got.
  • Large Ham: For lacking lungs, he has a big presence.
  • Mood Whiplash: Immediately follows Kanye, even piggybacking off of his beat, but his rhymes couldn't be farther apart in tone.
  • Nightmare Fuel: In-universe. The threat that Scrooge will die alone and unmourned, regretting the miserable life he led, and responsible for Tiny Tim's death, is a terrifying enough prospect to cement Scrooge's Heel–Face Turn.
  • Sickly Green Glow: His background is a swirling green miasma.
  • Suddenly Speaking: In contrast to his usual portrayal as The Voiceless, here he's a rasping, guttural baritone with a Voice of the Legion who speaks Brutal Honesty from start to finish. It's quite intimidating.

     Rick Grimes vs Walter White 

Walter White

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm a kingpin, cooking crystal in the middle of the day!"

  • Badass Boast:
    "I don't know what you think I've done, but if we were to battle, I've already won: ask Gus!"
  • Bald of Evil: He's bald, and a high-class drug lord.
  • Car Fu: Threatens to run over Rick with his Aztec.
  • Comedic Underwear Exposure: Proudly shows off his mighty Tighty Walter Whities! It is funny but he is not making a joke.
  • Consummate Liar: According to Rick, who says he lies all the time.
  • Evil Genius: A world-class, super-intelligent chemist turned drug lord. As Rick says, he misuses his own intellect for criminal purposes.
  • Evil Gloating: Done in his first verse, when he brags about his criminal career and how he's gotten away with it.
  • Evil Sounds Raspy: He's a meth kingpin and Evil Genius raps in a deep raspy voice.
  • Go Fetch: Gets rid of the zombie closing in on him by showing it a bag of drugs and throwing it away from from him, making the zombie go after it.
  • Guile Hero: Always "Hatching little schemes like a dying MacGyver", according to Rick.
  • Hypocrite: He mocks Rick about how his wife cheated on him, conveniently forgetting that his own wife also had an affair.
  • Improbable Weapon User: Defends himself from a zombie with his trademark Blue Sky, and threatens to kill Rick by liquefying him in a barrel and mowing him down with his car.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: He's an asshole about it, but his comments on Rick's leadership skills aren't far off the mark.
  • Kubrick Stare: He dolls out a fierce stare in his first verse.
  • Nerves of Steel: When a zombie lunges at him, he barely flinches and instead taunts it...with drugs and uses them to lure it away.
  • Pungeon Master: He gets two of 'em in at Rick:
    Walter: (verse one) "'Cause you're a loser! A failure to your whole entire crew. I've seen Walter Jr. handle "Walkers" better than you!"
    • The other comes at the end of his second verse:
    Walter: "I'll bury you faster than your partner stole your whole life. No one saw Shane 'coming', except for your wife."
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Walt delivers a scathing one to Rick during the second half of his first verse:
    Walter: (points at Rick) "Here's a hot dose. Let me watch you choke on the truth:
    "YOU look up to ME, like I'm a pizza ON THE ROOF!"
    "Cos' you're a loser! A failure to your whole entire crew."
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: Walt not only admits to being a crime lord, he gloats about it and the reason he's able to get away with it:
    Walter: "I'm a Kingpin." (cooking crystal in the middle of the day)
    "Having diner by the pool" (with the D-E-A)
    "Run you over with Aztec" (G-T-A)
    "If you ever try to stop" (Heisenberg gettin' paid)
  • Signature Headgear: Puts on his trademark pork pie hat at the start of his verse.

Rick Grimes

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm a post-apocalyptic cop who's got a lot of issues."

     Goku vs Superman 

Goku & Krillin

Played by: Ray William Johnson
Krillin Played by: Peter Shukoff
"You can't flow to Son Goku; I Kaio-ken get it done!"
  • Adaptational Jerkass: In the source material, Goku, even when angry, doesn't stoop to lows such as insulting dead people or banging another man's girl. In the rap battle, he absolutely does both, using Christopher Reeeve's paralysis as a dig at Superman and saying he'll sleept with Lois Lane.
  • Adaptation Dye-Job: Goku's first hairstyle is black (as it is in any other medium), but its shape is the same as his hair when he turns Super Saiyan (which is blonde). So technically, his hair manages to avert this and play it straight over the course of the battle.
  • Anime Hair: Standing tall, proud, and spiky.
  • Badass Boast: "There's only one way this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again!"
  • Battle Aura: For all of the battle he is glowing with power up or super sayian light.
  • Beat Them at Their Own Game: Since Superman takes a shot a Goku by bragging he'd bang his wife, Chichi, Goku retaliates in his next verse by saying he'd do the same thing to Superman's Love Interest, Lois!
    Goku: (at Superman) "I'll report to Lois Lane and Superman that HO!"
  • Boring Insult: Goku mocks Superman's Invincible Hero status as boring, as well as his ridiculous weakness being green rocks.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Krillin's name was used as an insult by Superman in the opening verse before he himself appears in Goku's.
  • Clothing Damage: His clothes are already tattered. When he transforms to Super Saiyan, his outer shirt gets completely destroyed by Superman's eye beams.
  • Dumb Jock: Invoked, as Superman calls him a "constipated jock" and makes shots at his lack of intelligence. It should be noted that in the source material, Goku is very much an Idiot Hero.
  • The Dog Bites Back: After being used as an insult by Superman, Krillin appears to assist Goku in his first verse.
  • Glowing Eyes of Doom: His eyes turn a noticeably glowing blue when he goes Super Saiyan. There are two shots during the battle that focus on them and they're rather creepy.
  • Hot-Blooded: His very first line is partly about him pumping himself up.
  • Hypocritical Humor: He stated that Superman's powers are boring while possessing the same boring superpowers in his fight-styles.
  • Incoming Ham: His first two lines, which he screams at the top of his lungs.
  • Large Ham: He shouts all of his lines while powering up.
  • No-Sell: Superman attempts to hit him with heat vision right as Goku goes Super Saiyan and only causes Clothing Damage. Goku even calls him on it.
    "Defeat me with heat beams? You're crazy."
  • Precision F-Strike: "YOUR POWERS HAVE BEEN BORING SINCE THE NINETEEN-FUCKING-FORTIES!" It's the only time either character uses an obscenity in said battle.
  • Race Lift: Technically averted. Goku has the physical traits of an Asian person, and he's played by a part-Asian actor (Indian, to be specific). However, given that Goku is an alien, race isn't crucial to the character's appearance.
  • Screaming Warrior: Superman hangs a lampshade on it.
    "Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch and over nine thousand screams!"
  • Speak Ill of the Dead: He brings up the late Christopher Reeve's tragic accident during the rap's finale and brags that this Superman will suffer the same fate.
    "There's only one way that this battle's gonna end, one more Superman who is never gonna walk again!"
  • Super Mode: He goes Super Saiyan midway in his first verse.
  • Teeny Weenie: Superman thinks he wears "hammer pants" to hide his tiny genitals.
  • Unstoppable Rage: Just like when he fought Frieza, he's furious from the start of his verse. Superman's first verse must have truly pissed him off.

Superman & Jimmy Olsen

Superman Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
Jimmy Olsen Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Greasy, slick emcee from DC!"
  • Adaptational Jerkass: In the source material, Superman, even when angry, doesn't stoop to lows such as making light of a national tragedy, racism, or banging another man's wife. In the rap battle however, he makes light of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, dismisses Goku's adoptive parents as primitive and idiots, and claims he'll have sex with Chi-Chi.
  • Berserk Button: Downplayed. He smiles through the entire battle against Goku and only frowns when the Saiyan brings up that he lost to Batman, and only then does Superman turn around to engage Goku in Air Jousting.
  • Camera Fiend: Jimmy Olsen is seen with his trusty camera.
  • Catchphrase: A variant on "This looks like a job for Superman!" appears in the battle.
  • Crack Defeat: Goku mocks him over the fact that, despite all his powers, he somehow still once lost a fight to Batman.
  • Eye Beams: He uses them in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop Goku reaching Super Saiyan.
    Goku: "Defeat me with heat beams? You're crazy!"
  • Hypocrite: Criticizes Goku for having a complicated plot. But as Goku points out in his first verse, Superman’s story has been rewritten A LOT, so in a sense, he’s the one with the real complicated plot. At least in the Dragon Ball series follows the plot in order, while Superman is constantly Retcon.
  • I Banged Your Mom: A variant; he bragged to Goku that he'll screw his wife Chi-Chi. Goku retaliated that he'll do the same to Lois Lane, Superman's Love Interest.
  • Insufferable Genius: He insults the Saiyans as being intellectually primitive while alluding to the super-intelligence common to Kryptonians.
  • Kryptonite Factor: Goku states "There's nothing fun about a superhero scared of Green Rocks."
  • Malicious Misnaming: At the end of his first verse, he takes a stab at Goku's Saiyan name (Kakarot) by calling him a Karrot. In the source material, Goku hated his Saiyan name and insisted that his true name is Goku; he only allowed Vegeta to call him Kakarot because he was too stubborn to change.
  • Person as Verb: Superman claims Goku is "Krillin it" in a reference to Krillin's Butt-Monkey status.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: "Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan". He also makes a joke about Goku having "tiny genitals".
  • Pungeon Master: Both his verses are riddled with DBZ references, puns, and in-jokes. From telling Goku he'd make his nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties, to sneaking in a Title Drop while pointing at his crotch when he tells Goku:
    Superman: (imitating DBZ narrator) "From Z to GT, you can DRAGON BALL DEEZ!"
  • Retcon: Goku laments his series' constant use of these.
    "HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GONNA REWRITE YOUR STORY?!"
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Done with increasingly small gestures between his thumb and index finger for emphasis:
    Superman: (at Goku) "One breath, I'll freeze your whole measly species."
    "You're primitive and limited. You live in a village of idiots."
    "Step in Metropolis, I'll snap a Karrot. Period."
  • Say My Name: Jimmy Olsen's only line is saying Superman's name.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: He flies into the sky at the end of his second verse more than likely figuring he'd won. Goku chases him.
  • Shout-Out: In his second verse, he alludes to Vegeta's "It's OVER 9,000!!" scene by doing a dead-on Vegeta impersonation; complete with pretending to crush an imaginary scouter.
    Superman: (smug laugh) "Haha! Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch -"
    Superman: (imitating Vegeta) "-and OVER 9,000 SCREAMS!!"
  • Smug Super: He seems to be channeling Superdickery Superman. The guy even stops to pose for a quick photograph mid-battle and just check the smirk on his face during both verses. Especially the part where he mentions what he'd do to Goku's wife, Chichi!
  • Transformation Sequence: He changes from his Clark Kent disguise during the title card.
  • Underwear of Power: Goku mocks him for wearing these, and says that he can see Superman's camel toe.

     Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe 

Stephen King

Played by: Zach Sherwin
"See, I'm the author with the blood and gore lore galore that'll horrify a reader to the core!"
  • Always Someone Better: He claims he'll always have more fame, money, talent and success than Poe could hope to achieve.
  • Attention Deficit Creator Disorder: invoked Boasts about just how quickly he can pump out best-selling books.
  • Badass Bookworm: He is the current dominant name in horror writing, and one of the most prolific authors to have ever lived.
  • Boring Insult: He yawns during Poe's first verse and several of his own lines are about how Poe's work isn't scary.
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: He finishes off the rap by mimicking The Raven's "nevermore".
  • Can't Catch Up: Ends his second verse claiming that Poe's reputation and wealth will always be less than his.
    "Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, never more!"
  • Cold Ham: King has Sherwin's signature manic energy and constant wide-eyed expression, but he never raises his voice above a creepy whisper.
  • Deadpan Snarker: His rants against Poe drip with sarcasm.
  • Doorstopper: He brags about his huge pile and equally huge books and threatens to smack Poe with them.
  • Everyone Has Standards: A grown man perving on their thirteen year old cousin is too disturbing for him. In fact, he finds that creepier than anything Poe has written.
  • Giving Someone the Pointer Finger: He does this to Poe when mocking him for his opium addiciton, to the point where Poe has to back away to keep King's finger from jabbing him in the face.
  • Glory Hound: Poe takes a potshot at his tendency to do Creator Cameos.
  • Hypocrite: Slams Poe for his opium addiction and alcoholism despite having the exact same problems himself. He also chastised Poe for marrying his thirteen year old cousin, despite King himself writing a group sex scene involving adolescents.
  • Nonchalant Dodge: Simply leans back to avoid Poe's flurry of bats.
  • Pædo Hunt: Not in his own battle, amusingly enough - Season 6's Joker vs Pennywise has the former calling him out on the infamous scene from It.
    The Joker, to Pennywise: Tell your author for his next gangbang scene:
    How about a little more PG and a lot less 13?
    Even I wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety!
    This is Earth, you space demon. We live in a society!
  • Pop-Cultured Badass: Not only does he references a lot of his own famous books in his verses like Misery, The Running Man and The Shining, he mentions Poe's books and Kung Fu Panda.
  • Present Absence: He did not appear during the Joker vs. Pennywise in Season 6, but he and his works are mentioned a lot. After all, he is Pennywise's author.
  • Pungeon Master: Much of his first verse plays on the titles of his novels for several lines straight.
  • Smug Smiler: He has a smug smile throughout the battle while bragging about his success as an author.
  • Throw the Book at Them: He's got a lot of "big thick books" that he'd love to smack Poe with. He wrote all of them.
  • Toilet Humour: One of his lines emphasizes the fact that "poo" sounds similar to Poe's name.
    "You're in deep poo, Poe!"
  • Workaholic: Self-admitted and with an additional "fiction addiction!"

Edgar Allan Poe

Played by: George Watsky
"Poe's poems pwn posers!"
  • Added Alliterative Appeal: "Your flow's so-so, Poe's poems pwn posers!"
  • Attack Animal: Sends a colony of bats at King at the end of his second verse.
  • Badass Bookworm: He was the pioneer of the modern horror genre.
  • Can't Catch Up: Points out that, no matter how popular King's books are, they'll never come close to Poe's own groundbreaking work ("You'll never be near me!"). He's the Horror Lord, after all.
  • Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: He has these, likely as a result of his difficult life.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Had a very unhappy history and he claims experience makes his work superior to King's.
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Dark brown hair, pale skin, and the architect of modern horror.
  • Emo: King lampoons him as being one.
    King: You wanna talk shop, you gothed-out fop? Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top.
  • Goth: King pokes fun at his style of dress as being "gothed-out fop", and tells him to go back to Hot Topic. Considering that Poe practically invented the genre of gothic literature, this isn't all that surprising.
  • Goths Have It Hard: King refers to him as a goth, and he had a terrible life which inspired his horrific stories.
  • Kissing Cousins: King notes that Poe married his own cousin when she was 13 and he was 27.
  • Large Ham: Poe's melancholy is often very melodramatic, especially how he screams in agony when he raps.
  • Motor Mouth: During his second verse, his speed greatly increases.
  • Pretender Diss: Points out that while King wrote about families torn apart and crippling tragedies, often as allegories for his struggles with alcohol, Poe's life was far more troubled and tragic. He also calls King a faux Bram Stoker.
  • Red Baron: Calls himself "The Horror Lord".
  • Slasher Smile: He does one during his first verse, where he talks about choking King, and it's both creepy and hilarious at the same time.
  • True Art Is Angsty: In-universe example. He believes his works have more weight because they were written from a place of sorrow, misery, and genuine fear, while King just writes horror because he enjoys it.
  • Vocal Dissonance: Has a much more youthful voice than one might expect from his appearance.

     Sir Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye 

Sir Isaac Newton

Played by: "Weird Al" Yankovic
"I'm a master; I discovered gravity!"
  • The Ace: Not even Nye can resist slipping in references to his many achievements.
  • Badass Boast: Newton delivers two, to Nye. One in each verse:
    Sir Isaac Newton: (verse one) "You're no match for me, you got a Bach degree. I've got a unit of force named after me!"
    Sir Isaac Newton: (verse two) "I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plain of understanding and, I can calculate the weight, or the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind YOU'RE STANDING IN!!"
  • Blasphemous Boast: Mentions that he's "God's Gift" while talking about how he was born on Christmas day.
  • Broken Ace: Nye points out that while he was an accomplished scientist, he never married, had only a few friends, and overall a lousy personal life.
  • Celibate Eccentric Genius: Although Bill Nye claims he was just unlucky.
    You wrote the book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body!
  • Eye Scream: He once pushed a needle around his eyeball to prod at its back side as part of an experiment to research how color is perceived, which Nye indirectly references.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: As Bill Nye references, he may have died of mercury poisoning he brought upon himself.
  • Hypocrite: He criticizes Bill Nye for "[wasting] time debating creationists", despite the fact that he himself was a fairly outspoken one.
  • Jaded Washout: He is accused by Nye of being one. While Nye's "hitting his stride" he asks what Newton did with the back half of his life.
  • Loners Are Freaks: Nye's verses rip on how he never married and had few friends.
  • Nerds Are Virgins: "You wrote the book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body!"
  • Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Despite being an Englishman, he sure doesn't sound like one in ERB. Justified, as he's being portrayed by "Weird Al" Yankovic.
  • Motor Mouth: Not to Watsky levels, but his last line is still impressive.
    Newton: The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square-root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?
  • Significant Birth Date: Boasts that “I was born on Christmas! I’m God’s gift!”
  • Special Guest: "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Bill Nye

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Now I do what I gotta do to make sure scientific thought can grow!"
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: One of the interpretations: he uses Newton's achievements to take shots at his personal life. Then again, see Nice Guy.
  • Butt-Monkey: It's no secret he's a bit outclassed, even though he had some good lines. Even his own teammate is somewhat condescending towards him.
    Newton: Of all the scientific minds in history, they put Beaker in a bowtie up against me?!
    Tyson: Why don't you pick on a brain your own size?
  • Joke Character: He tries to diss Newton, but he's pretty clearly completely out of his depth and doesn't stand any sort of chance on his own requiring a teammate to bail him out. He visibly cringes away from Newton's second verse, does poses behind Tyson like a wimpy kid hiding behind his tough friend, and the "Who Won?" dance is Newton and Tyson, with Nye in the background.
  • Nice Guy: The other interpretation; he spends half of his verse praising his opponent. Then again see Bitch in Sheep's Clothing.
  • Old Shame: invoked Newton thinks he's a joke because he was on a silly children's show and Nye insists that he's doing other stuff now.
  • The Power of Friendship: Seems to be a running theme with him and Tyson. Tyson jumps in to help him out and both target Newton's lack of friends and his mistreatment of the few he had. Plus, Carl Sagan, Tyson's mentor, cameos during Nye's segments.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Played by: Chali 2na
"Astrophysics Black guy; Hayden Planetary fly."

  • Big Damn Heroes: Intervenes when Nye seems a bit too intimidated by Newton's Motor Mouth.
  • Black and Nerdy: A self-proclaimed Astrophysics Black Guy.
  • Irony: His famous "we've got a badass over here" statement originates from a video where Tyson talks about Isaac Newton's involvement with calculus; here, he's rapping against that same guy.
  • Soul Brotha: He "put the swag back in science."
  • Special Guest: Chali 2na, ladies and gents! note 

     George Washington vs William Wallace 

George Washington

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I got a state and a day and a DC!"
  • Ascended Extra: In Season 1, he was a cameo in "Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays". In this season, he's got his own rap battle against William Wallace.
  • Authority Equals Ass Kicking: The very first President of the United States. If that's not enough, he was also general of the Continental Army.
  • Ax-Crazy: Seems to relish the thought of cutting Scottish throats a bit too much.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Makes no bones about his willingness to attack a man while he's sleeping.
  • Cultural Posturing: Points out that his country's known for being a superpower, while Wallace's is known for golf and haggis.
  • Dancing Royalty: Claims to have the "best moves at the ball" while doing a little twirl, and his motions are noticeably more "choreographed" than his opponent's throughout the battle. Truth in Television: contemporary accounts described George Washington as a great dancer.
  • The Dandy: He brags about his nice clothes, comparing them to Pimp Duds, and calls himself "fabulous from [his] head to [his] shoe buckle". William Wallace retorts that his "blousy outfit" makes him look stiff, and that it was made using slave labor.
  • Eagleland: A mixed flavor. Sure, he claims to be a great hero and boasts that the meaning of the American flag is "power", but he's also obnoxious, self-aggrandizing, and threatens to kill his opponent while he's sleeping.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He first appeared in Ben Franklin's battle.
  • Four Star Bad Ass: General of the Continental Army.
  • General Failure: Wallace says he's a horrible tactician and this is why the British Army didn't want him.
  • Groin Attack: Threatens to give a knee to Wallace's "Moose Knuckle". Wallace even covers up his groin in response to the threat.
  • Hypocrite: Wallace likes to bring up the fact that he owned slaves (though in real life, he set them free after his and Martha's deaths- and couldn't have done so earlier, as a large portion of them were actually 'dower slaves' owned by Martha).
    Wallace: You died owning slaves. I died setting men free! Scot-free!
  • Large Ham: He has No Indoor Voice and is very expressive and energetic when he raps against Wallace.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The snob to Wallace's slob, "powdered prick" in a "little blousy outfit" and such, though he's pretty rough-and-tumble himself.
  • The Stoner: Invoked; William Wallace says that if Washington thinks he can beat him, he must have been smoking some of the hemp he grows on his farm (which was actually for making ropes).

William Wallace

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I pop my kilt, strap my sword in my hilt, step on the battlefield, and I'm ready to kill!"
  • Anachronism Stew: Appears with his face painted in woad like he was a Pict or something. He's also shown wearing a kilt, even though he died long before those even existed.
  • BFS: Brings his giant claymore to the battle.
  • Bilingual Bonus: He shouts "Scotland forever!" in Gaelic at one point.
  • Brave Scot: But of course! "That's the Highland Way." (The real Wallace was not a Highlander incidentally. He was a feudal lord and class-wise had more in common with the English than Mel Gibson would have you believe).
  • Cool Sword: His claymore is really big and ornate.
  • Everything's Louder with Bagpipes: Naturally, these are heard in the background when Wallace is rapping.
  • Going Commando: George Washington mocks him for not wearing underwear.
  • Historical Hero Upgrade: The rap battle uses Mel Gibson's Braveheart and plays him off a non-movie Washington. The real Wallace was a serf-owning feudal lord who thought nothing of murdering English peasants and villagers in his campaign to sack the city of York (which he failed to reach in life).
  • Hypocrite:
    • Wallace mocks Washington's slave ownership twice, but slavery (just not always African) was both practiced and legal in Scotland before and while Wallace lived and for over 300 years after he died.
    • Wallace calls Washington a General Failure, but historians consider Wallace a terrible commander who failed his only major objective and lost the only battle he was in command of. Context
  • Insult Backfire: Washington comments on his hanging, drawing and quartering, but he says he could still rap circles around Washington even if he was.
  • Man in a Kilt: A Dummied Out scene that only appeared on a Youtube commercial that aired in theaters showed Wallace lifting up his kilt and flashing George Washington, showing that he's wearing nothing underneath.
  • Rasputinian Death: Both himself and Washington mention how he's hanged, drawn and quartered, and castrated.
  • Screaming Warrior: Louder and more violent than Washington.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The slob to Washington's snob, what with the facepaint, the vulgar language, etc.
  • The Theme Park Version: Next to a fairly accurate (if extra ax-crazy) rendition of Washington, we have Mel Gibson's Braveheart.
  • Violent Glaswegian: He really wants a piece of George Washington.
    "I'll knock you the fuck out, mate!"
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Towards George Washington being a slave owner. Specifically blasting him for wearing fancy clothes made with slave labor.

     Artists vs TMNT 

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Voiced by: Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist
Suit Actors: Lloyd Ahlquist and Xin Wuku
"We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy!"
  • Bash Brothers: Four brothers who rap together and fight together.
  • Bratty Half-Pint: Donatello di Bardi dismisses them as this, saying they're "too immature" to know about the works of their opponents.
  • The Ghost: They do not appear in the Joker vs. Pennywise in Season 6, but the former mentions them with reverence.
  • Kubrick Stare: The Turtles pull off one hell of a Death Glare as they start their verse.
  • Let's Get Dangerous!: Master Splinter may have taught them not to rush to violence, but since he isn't around, the Turtles are cutting loose against their Renaissance namesakes:
    TMNT: The wisdom of our master (Splinter!)
    Taught us not to rush to violence (Master Splinter!)
    But our master (Master Splinter!)
    Ain't here, dudes!
  • Martial Pacifist: Master Splinter taught them to use their weapons, and he also taught them not to rush to violence.
  • Mythology Gag:
    • When Michaelangelo says "Ain't here, dudes!" we see the other turtles behind him, all of them with red bandanas. The original TMNT mirage comic had all the turtles sporting identical red bandanas.
    • One of Mikey's lines is "I can bebop and steady rock a mic, sucka'!", partly name dropping Bebop and Rocksteady.
  • Named After Someone Famous: The four artists they're rapping against.
  • Nintendo Hard: Their first NES game, which their Renaissance namesakes reference. "We're like your NES game 'cause we can't be beat!"
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: All the turtles make references to the accomplishments of their artist counterparts: Donnie claims to not know a lot about the Artists while referencing Donatello di Bardi's sculpture of Gattamelata, Leo mentions Leonardo's helicopter, Mikey uses the word "Sistine" which is a reference to Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel, and Raph says he'll put the artists back in school, a reference to Raphael's fresco "The School of Athens", the background of which serves as the artists' stage.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The Turtles live in a sewer and become intelligent after coming into contact with radioactive ooze, while the Artists brushed shoulders with the Italian upper class.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza. After finishing their rap with "chowing on your tower made of pizza" Leo shouts for them to save him a slice.
  • Villain Respect: The Joker's second verse during his battle with Pennywise in Season 6 suggests he thinks highly of them.
    "You lost to a turtle that wasn't even a ninja."

Artists in general

  • Color-Coded for Your Convenience: Each artist wears the same color as the turtle named after them.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: All the artists except Leonardo da Vinci are only referred to by their first names.
  • True Companions: They seem to respect each other highly, as all of them (except Rafael) only enter the show after having been directly given the scene by another.

Leonardo da Vinci

Played by: Charles Lincoln 'Link' Neal III
"You don't really wanna step to da Vinci!"

  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Claims to love the ladies, but in Real Life, he was rumored to have had trysts with men.
  • Renaissance Man: He calls himself one of the Renaissance's fathers. He's got "the classical technique", i.e. rapping technique. He also came up with a prototype helicopter 400 years before one was created, something Leonardo the turtle references.

Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino

Played by: Anthony Padilla
"Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned 'til I croaked!"
  • The Casanova: He had a whole lot of affairs, so much that eventually died after a particularly exhausting session.
  • Nonstandard Character Design: The only one of the Artists who doesn't have a beard. He died at the tender age of 37, compared to the other Artists, who died in their 60s or 80s.
  • Out with a Bang: His assistant said he "boned 'till he croaked" with his favorite mistress Margherita Luti.

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Played by: Ian Hecox
"I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath!"
  • Badass Boast: "I made David but I'll slay you like Goliath!"
  • Blasphemous Boast: Claims himself to be a Rap God.
  • Hitler Cam: Used deliberately to make him look like "a giant" when he first appears.
  • Large Ham: Makes up for being the shortest artist in the group by having No Indoor Voice.
  • The Napoleon: For all his boasting of his size, he's the shortest of the Artists when seen side-by-side.

Donatello di Niccolò di Betto Bardi

Played by: Rhett McLaughlin
"Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six-foot chisel!"

  • The Big Guy: Visibly the tallest of the artists, and he is shown chiseling out a stone statue, which none of the other artists do during the rap.
  • Lesser Star: His Ninja Turtle namesake doesn't know who he is or what his accomplishments are, while the other artists and their works were referenced. He retaliates by calling the Turtles immature.
  • Renaissance Man: At one point, he's putting the finishing touches on a marvelously detailed statue of a man on a horse.

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