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     JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin 

George R. R. Martin

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"My readers fall in love with every character I've written-THEN I KILL 'EM!"

  • Anyone Can Die: Fully embraces this mindset in his stories and mocks Tolkien for sticking to The Good Guys Always Win.
  • Badass Beard: Fittingly for an author of medieval fantasy; he could be some grizzled warrior carrying an axe with a beard like this.
  • Darker and Edgier: He says Game of Thrones has more death, despair and other dark stuff than Lord of the Rings.
  • Dirty Coward: What Tolkien thinks of him for his history of Draft Dodging.
  • Dirty Old Man: He shows a few signs of this when he gleefully talks about how much sex he puts in his books.
  • Draft Dodging: His conscientious objector status is contrasted with Tolkien's experiences.
  • Fat Bastard: Tolkien makes several digs about his weight in addition to his unpleasantness.
  • Fat Idiot: What Tolkien thinks of him, as Tolkien claims that Martin and Jon Snow both know nothing.
  • Flanderization: Martin's incarnation in the battle is more in keeping with The Theme Park Version idea of his books and the related TV show. Amongst other things he accuses Tolkien of letting good guys survive and bad guys die (which ignores Thorin, Boromir, Denethor and the Scourging of the Shire, not to mention the Bible of death and suffering that is The Silmarillion) and having too much detail in his books (each volume of A Song of Ice and Fire has dozens of pages on characters' genealogy alone, and backstory that goes back decades is often vital to characters' motivations). The Real Life Martin has repeatedly expressed admiration for Tolkien and likewise stated that Tolkien's books have the Unbuilt Tropes his own series drew from, and has claimed that one of his problems with Tolkien is when he is too reductive and not detailed enough.
  • Follow the Leader: Accused of being "an uninspired hack" by Tolkien, who claims that he even stole the R. R.
  • Good Is Boring: Argues that Tolkein's black-and-white morality makes his books way too cliche and predictable.
  • Hotter and Sexier: He says someone would need an all-seeing eye to find sex in Tolkien's stories, while it is much more apparent in his own.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Accuses Tolkien of bogging down his stories with excessive detail, even though A Song of Ice and Fire is pretty detail-heavy itself.
  • Nice Hat: Wears his trademark fisherman's cap.
  • Reality Ensues: Tolkien concedes that it is more true to life for characters to die randomly no matter who they are.
  • Sadist: Shows signs of this, considering he lets his readers grow attached to his characters, only to gleefully kill them off.
  • Sex Sells: He believes this and gives this advice to Tolkien. ("Ditch the Goonie, cast a couple boobies!")
  • Shocking Swerve: Invoked.
    My readers fall in love with every character I've written.
    Then I kill them! And they're like, "No, he didn't!"
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The slob to Tolkien's snob. He's very raunchy and vulgar compared to the uptight Tolkien.
  • Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism: Takes the cynical approach and mocks the Black and White Morality of Tolkien's prose.
  • Trolling Creator: Openly making fun of his readers' shocked reaction when he kills their favorite characters.

J. R. R. Tolkien

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Every time I battle, it's Return of the King!"

  • Angst Aversion: Disapproves of Martin's habit of randomly killing his characters.
  • The Anti-Nihilist: Tolkien doesn't necessarily disagree with Martin's view that the world is chaotic and bad things happen, but notes that the fantasy genre is to provide an escape from those harsh realities.
  • Cash Cow Franchise: Tolkien boasts that his franchise makes billions of dollars for his family.
  • Cool Old Guy: He's more Rock and Roll than Martin, just ask Led Zeppelin!
  • Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe: Fitting for an Oxford professor, he carries and uses a smoking pipe.
  • Escapism: He defends his more idealistic writing style by claiming that the Fantasy genre is meant to be unrealistic.
  • The Good Guys Always Win: Defends this stance in his writing by pointing out fiction doesn't have to be realistic, so he can have the heroes win every single time if wants.
  • Hurricane of Puns: Puns on The Lord of the Rings titles in his last lines:
    You can't reach this fellow. Shit, I'm too towering.
    Every time I battle, it's return of the king.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Martin is incredulous that a chain smoker would lecture him about his unhealthy life choices.
    Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke!
  • Insult Backfire: Tolkien spends most of the battle turning Martin's disses on their head. His character deaths are predictable because he writes fantasy, his extensive worldbuilding made The Silmarillion a successful book, Led Zeppelin was inspired by his works, making him more "rock and roll" than Martin, etc.
  • Lean and Mean: Gets in several shots at Martin's weight, who happens to have a lot more of it than him.
  • Lighter and Softer: Martin mocks his works for being more light-hearted/family-friendly than his own. Tolkien doesn't see this as a bad thing.
    Tolkien: Newsflash: the genre's called fantasy! It's meant to be unrealistic; you MYOPIC MANATEE!
  • Pretender Diss: He mocks Martin for being a LARPer instead of a real soldier, in addition to his novel writing; "You and Jon Snow both know nothing!"
  • Retired Badass: A veteran of World War I, specifically taking part in the Battle of the Somme.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: It's the reason he gets called "Professor Tweedpants" by Martin. He retaliates by saying he doesn't take criticism on clothes.
  • Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism: Defends the idealistic approach on the grounds that it's the part of the point of the fantasy genre, and as such, doesn't have to be realistic or cynical.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The snob to Martin's slob. He's dressed in a tweed jacket and smokes a Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: While he makes his gentleman verbal jabs, he has friggin' Led Zeppelin back up his rhymes.
  • Strictly Formula: Martin claims this of his books; "you can tell what's going to happen by page and age 5!"
  • Suddenly SHOUTING!: Several times he goes from speaking calmly to shouting at the top of his lungs.
    C. S. Lewis and I were just discussing, how you and Jon Snow BOTH KNOW NOTHING!
  • Worldbuilding: Martin thinks Tolkien takes it too far ("we don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!"). Tolkien defends it by claiming his Silmarillion is doing pretty well on sales.

     Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child 

Gordon Ramsay

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots green-lit!"

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Brings in the Blue Team to emphasize his success ("Yes chef!).
  • Badass Arm-Fold: Child mocks him for his "b-boy stance".
  • Bad Boss: The Blue Team is terrified of him.
  • Berserk Button: Bringing up his troubled childhood, and fatty recipes. Though considering this is a caricature of Ramsey who spends most of the battle in a foul mood, odds are he has too many to count.
  • Broken Ace: According to Julia, behind his great success is a thoroughly damaged and unpleasant individual.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Julia brings up Gordon's troubled youth from thirty years ago, which sets him off for the rest of the battle.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: It's remarkably easy to piss him off.
  • Hot-Blooded: Very loud and aggressive, and has a fire background.
  • Hypocrite: As pointed out by Child:
    "You scream at women, while the fits that you're pitchin' makes you the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!"
  • Insufferable Genius: Child claims that he may have a Michelin Star, but his personality wouldn't get even one star on Yelp.
  • Large Ham: In typical angry chef fashion, Gordon Ramsay is known for being over-dramatic and loud.
  • The Mean Brit: Has a British Accent and is very bitter in his rhymes.
  • Pretender Diss: Calls Childs a "glorified translator" for falling back on proven French recipes instead of coming up with dishes of her own.
  • Self-Made Man: Boasts about how he built his own empire.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: True to form, he's one of the most foul-mouthed rappers on the show.
  • Supreme Chef: Believes himself to be the superior chef in the battle, as he brags about how his cooking started an empire based on his "culinary innovation".

Julia Child

Played by: Mamrie Hart
"When it comes to haute cuisine, there's one F-word: France!"

  • Catchphrase: "Bon Appetit."
  • Cut a Slice, Take the Rest: Partway through her first verse, she is seen cutting a small slice from a block of butter and setting it aside, then spreading the remaining large portion onto a slice of bread.
  • Drop the Hammer: She hits a chicken with a giant mallet at the end of her second verse.
  • Foreign Queasine: Yes, Mastering The Art of French Cooking does have a recipe for Calf Brain in it (or as the French would call it, cervelle de veau).
  • Gratuitous French: Due to her focus on French cooking, Julia includes a bit of French vocabulary in her raps.
  • Hurricane of Puns: She bakes a number of butter puns into the second verse.
  • Large Ham: What she loses in volume compared to Ramsay, she more than makes up for with facial expressions and body language.
  • Machiavelli Was Wrong: Ramsey treats his underlings horribly and according to Childs, his cooking suffers for it.
    But fear, my dear boy, is less scrumptious than joy.
  • Nutritional Nightmare: Ramsay accuses Child's dishes of being excessively fatty and causing heart disease.
  • Off with His Head!: Takes the head off a chicken by hand during her preparations.
  • Patriotic Fervor: She boasts about having "served America dutifully" as a research assistant in World War II.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Her first verse is pointing out his awful childhood and how he treats others, and it sets off Ramsay so hard he brings in the Blue Team as backup. In her second verse, after declaring that she'll win, she spares no mercy and proceeds to personally attack Ramsay for his personality rather than for his cooking ability.
  • Retired Badass: References her time in the OSS.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: A matronly home cook that can withstand and retaliate whatever verbal abuse Ramsay spits, treating him like a misbehaving child.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: "Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me. Now eat a dick! <beat> Bon appetit."
  • Supreme Chef: Like Gordon Ramsay, her raps are about believing that she's the superior chef.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Child's love of butter is mentioned extensively in the battle.
  • Vocal Dissonance: Has a voice which Ramsay describes as part Big-Bird, part Miss Piggy.
  • While You Were in Diapers: Cooked gourmet meals while Ramsey's preferred food was breast milk.

     Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson 

Thomas Jefferson

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"When it comes to declarations, I'm the first draft pick!"

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: As pointed out in his first verse, he happily boasts about being the first Secretary of State, the second vice president and the third president of the United States.
  • Disappeared Dad: Douglass calls him a "Founding Absentee Father" in regards to the six children he fathered with one of his slaves, as well as in a more metaphorical sense that the ideals of the American Revolution (of which he was one of the Founding Fathers) didn't apply to those of black descent until a century afterwards.
  • Hypocrite: Douglass points out that while Jefferson fought for freedom, he was also a racist who owned slaves and had six children with one of them.
  • Hypocrisy Nod: In response to Douglass' first verse, he confesses to being part of a "broken system that I hated".
  • I Did What I Had to Do: At the beginning of the second verse, Jefferson claims that he never liked the system at the time, tried to wind it down, and only went with it personally for financial reasons.
  • Never Live It Down: In-universe. Douglass says that for all his admirable achievements, his hypocrisy regarding slavery will be a permanent stain on his legacy.
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Jefferson's last words are a weak attempt at making peace with Douglass by adopting African-American slang and gestures. Needless to say, it doesn't work.
    Jefferson: So... [holds out his fist for a bump] We cool?
  • Rejected Apology: As the apologizer toward Douglass.
  • Renaissance Man: His accomplishments as a statesman, inventor, and scholar are all referenced.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Douglass' verses consist mostly of calling him out on owning slaves.

Frederick Douglass

Played by: J.B. Smoove
"The face of a free man, taught himself to read, man!"

  • Angry Black Man: Justified. In his position, anyone would be pissed — even then, he's really not so much "angry" as he is disappointed.
  • Badass Bookworm: He taught himself how to read, wrote three books, and offers to kick Jefferson's ass for free while going to town on his stance on slavery.
  • Black Is Bigger in Bed: "Big hair, big nuts, big issues".
  • Humble Hero: He talks the least about his own good points of just about anyone in the series, despite having plenty he could be bringing up, preferring to go on the offensive.
  • It's All About Me: Accused of this by Jefferson, who points out that he wrote three books about himself.
  • No Sympathy: Initially Douglass rails against Jefferson for not abolishing slavery within his lifetime or at least freeing his own slaves. Although "I was busy; I had a lot to do" is a poor excuse, and so is the money thing, he still worked on anti-slavery legislation and freed some of his slaves. By the end of his second verse, Douglass acknowledges this.
  • Rejected Apology: As the rejector toward Jefferson.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Although Jefferson compares him to a skunk in a three-piece suit.
  • Skunk Stripe: Jefferson mocks it, claiming he didn't come back from France to rap against Pepé Le Pew.
  • Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Most of his verses are attacks on Jefferson for not letting black people be free sooner.

     James Bond vs Austin Powers 

James Bond (Daniel Craig)

Played by: Ben Atha
"I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!"

  • Backronym: Comes up with a beautiful one.
    "Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!"
  • Bond Gun Barrel: He does the "shot the guy with the gun" thing at the end of his first verse, because it is his thing, obviously.
  • The Casanova: Halfway through the battle, he even complains that he could be on an island with a model instead of wasting time against Powers.
  • Country Matters: Connery's Bond calls him a pussy. He indirectly calls him an old cunt in response. It should be noted that both James and Ben Atha are from Britain, where the insult doesn't hold as much weight as it does in the United States.
  • The Cynic: Due to what he's had to go through, he has little to believe in or hope for.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Gets in a few dry jabs at Connery's Bond.
    60s Bond: If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!
    Bond: Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English.
  • Decomposite Character: The Sean Connery and Daniel Craig versions of James Bond are split into two different characters. who end up rapping against each other. Even within the battle itself, the verses start out referring to the character of Bond in general before later becoming specifically about Craig or Connery.
  • Everyone Has Standards: While he's got quite a few notches on his bedpost, he still calls Connery's bond a "rug-wearing misogynist" for his more... questionable sexual encounters.
  • Follow the Leader: He's accused of being a ripoff by Connery's Bond. Right after he claims to be the "original model" that Powers ripped off.
  • Hashtag Rap: "I only need one round — Golden Gun!"
  • Poe's Law: In-Universe. He seems unaware that Austin is a parody of himself, and is genuinely confused at what he perceives as an inexplicably-silly imitator.
  • Pyrrhic Victory: He considers Austin Powers to be irrelevant and undeserving of any attention, causing Bond to bemoan the entire battle against him as a pointless endeavor, even if he wins.
    Bond: (Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown! I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Powers' red. He's much more sophisticated and composed than the flamboyant Powers. He's also the red to Connery's Bond's blue. He's visibly more worked up than the latter during his verses.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: It wouldn't be Bond without that sharp tux. In his own words, he's "bespoke from [his] head to [his] toe".
  • Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism: Firmly in the cynical end with his films being grittier and he himself not believing in anything as opposed to Powers's more fun, idealistic style.
  • Tempting Fate: Calls himself the "original model" as a Pretender Diss against Austin Powers. Enter Sean Connery.

Austin Powers

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"Let's just keep it groovy, baby!"

  • Agent Peacock: Just because he's flamboyant doesn't mean he can't drop a verse.
  • Boring Insult: He claims even his mojo fell asleep during his opponent's rap.
  • British Teeth: As Bond points out right off the bat, his teeth are more crooked and rotten than Bond's villains.
  • Butt-Monkey: He gets stepped on in the second half of the battle. When Connery's Bond enters the scene, Powers gets Demoted to Extra in his own battle. When he tries to interrupt Bond's second verse, he just gets told off.
  • Carpet of Virility: As he puts it:
    "Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!"
  • The Casanova: Although he gets a lot of shagging, Bond fails to see where his sex appeal comes from.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: He's a horny bastard through-and-through, but he respects that "no" means "no."
  • Demoted to Extra: Gets cast aside in his own battle when Connery's Bond joins the battle.
  • Ethical Slut: Practically every line out of his mouth involves sex in some way, and he's presented as much more upbeat compared to Bond. He also agrees with Craig's Bond that Connery's Bond has an unfortunate view on women.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Powers may be an unabashed womanizer, but he finds Connery's Bond "a bit rapey."
    "I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby!"
  • Funny Background Event: Has the biggest shit-eating grin when Connery's Bond slaps Craig's Bond.
  • Ignored Enemy: When Connery's Bond enters the battle, he's completely ignored by Craig's Bond and barely gets any attention from Connery's Bond as the two of them duke it out.
  • Irony: Austin Power's movies have references to Our Man Flint and In Like Flint. Even Mike Myers, the original actor of Austin Powers, mentioned Our Man Flint in an interview as an inspiration. So Austin Powers is an inspiration of Flint who is a parody of James Bond.
  • Kavorka Man: Despite being peculiar-looking at best, and having crooked teeth, he's very popular with the ladies.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Bond's blue. He's much more lively and fun-loving than his opponent.
  • Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: Attacks Bond's "gritty reality" as boring to the audiences.

James Bond (Sean Connery)

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!"

  • Armor-Piercing Slap: Dishes out one to each of his opponents: Powers for trying to get back into the battle, Craig's Bond for saying that he's not English.
  • Berserk Button: Finally loses his cool when Craig's Bond mentions he uses a stunt-double.
  • Bring It: His final lines are said while he makes the bring it motion with both hands.
    "Now, you listen here, you duck-faced runt! I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!"
  • Brave Scot: He's based on Sean Connery, so it's a given. The character is Scottish but raised in England (which makes Craig's Bond's comment about "actually English" count as research failure, especially since this fact is referenced in one of his own movies).
  • Carpet of Virility: It gets brought up by Craig's Bond while also calling him a "rug wearing misogynist".
  • Deliberate Values Dissonance: Both Craig's Bond and Powers point out that some of his love scenes are rather... questionable to modern viewers.
  • Dodgy Toupee: Craig's Bond calls him a "rug-wearing misogynist", a reference to Connery going Prematurely Bald.
  • Enemy Mine: His interruption of the rap battle and dated views on women get Craig's Bond and Powers to indirectly team up against him.
  • Enemy Without: Technically speaking, he's one to Craig's Bond, given that they're different versions of the same character.
  • If I Wanted X, I Would Y: "If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken."
  • I Take Offense to That Last One!: He brushes off Powers accusing him of raping women, but gets enraged when Craig points out that he's not actually English.
  • Jerkass: Not only does he slap Powers for politely asking to go back into his own battle, both of his opponents point out his poor views on women.
  • Officer and a Gentleman: When Craig's Bond and Powers call him a misogynist who's "rapey", he replies he's a distinguished and extraordinary gentleman whose Mini Me would be Peter Dinklage, the implication being regardless how it looks to outsiders he treats his women with respect.
  • Questionable Consent: Craig Bond and Austin Powers both call out Connery Bond for the "rapey" nature of his encounters with women.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Craig's Bond's red. Throughout his verses, he generally remains cool and composed, until the last verse when his Berserk Button is pressed.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Again, it wouldn't be Bond without the suit, and this guy is the true "original model". He raps while dressed in his white dinner jacket from Goldfinger.
  • Unexpected Character: Zig-zagged. While he still is James Bond, the rap suggested that only Craig's Bond would be appearing.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Craig's Bond and Austin Powers point out that his sex scenes are "a bit rape-y".

     Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner 

Bruce Banner

Bruce Banner Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
The Hulk Played by: Mike O'Hearn
"Trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

Bruce Jenner / Caitlyn Jenner

Bruce Jenner Played by: Peter Shukoff
Caitlyn Jenner Played by: No Shame
"I'm a winner, no excuses!"

  • Attention Whore: Accused of this by Hulk, to the point of insinuating that Jenner's sex change itself was done for the sake of this.
  • Badass Gay: Badass Trans, actually, but she's still a sexual minority who drops some dope rhymes.
  • Boring Insult: Claims Banner is "boron" when he's happy.
  • Born Winner: Jenner considers herself this compared to Banner.
    I'm a winner no excuses.
  • Guns Akimbo: Pulls out two pistols and shoots at the Hulk when he says he'd have sex with Kylie.
  • Jerk Jock: Banner's opinion on Jenner, as an overrated athlete who ditched her wife and kids.
  • Mama Bear: Simultaneously counting as Papa Wolf, Caitlyn expresses aggressive parental protectiveness over her daughter Kylie, when Hulk claims he would like to "Hulk smash!" that.
  • Only in It for the Money: Hulk accuses Caitlyn of publicizing her transition for cash and publicity. Likewise, Banner claims Jenner was a relatively mediocre athlete for an Olympian and abandoned competition to milk her fame.
  • Overprotective Mom: When Hulk says he wants to "smash" Caitlyn's daughter Kylie, she shoots him.
  • Parental Abandonment: Banner mentions how Jenner left her kids behind.
  • Transgender: After Banner transforms into the Hulk, Jenner transforms from Bruce to Caitlyn - in a Sailor Moon-lite fashion.

     Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great 

Ivan The Terrible

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm terrible!"

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Tsar of Russia.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's very quick to resort to murder, even killing his own son and boasting about what he did to Novgorod. Catherine the Great even questions how he could become head of state given his own mental state. And Frederick the Great mentions blinding of two architects that designed St. Basil's Cathedral: according to a legend, Ivan ordered to tear their eyes out so they wouldn't create an even greater building for someone else.
  • Beard of Evil: His facial hair underscores how evil he is.
  • The Caligula: Catherine wonders how he became Tsar in the first place, considering his mental instability.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Proudly accepts and embraces being called "terrible" after poisoning and killing Alexander the Great.
  • Combat Pragmatist: No matching wits for Ivan, he just tries to kill the opponent at the first opportunity.
  • Dark Is Evil: The sky fills with black clouds during his verses, plus he has black hair and his clothes are a mix of dark brown and blood red.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He appears to be disgusted and shocked when Catherine demonstrates her ruthlessness by killing Pompey with the garrote wire.
  • Fur and Loathing: Wears a lot of fur, and tries to "win" by killing his opponents.
  • A God Am I: Claims to be "divine and holy" and later refers to himself as "the God".
  • Gonk: Frederick claims Ivan has a troll's face.
  • Gratuitous Russian: Uses the frequently misused toast "na zdorovye", when offering Alexander a drink. The correct way would be "za zdorovye", and it's one of the many, many toasts used by Russians. "Na zdorovye" is an equivalent to "you're welcome" in certain situations.
  • Happy Dance: He does a simple jig on stage after killing both Alexander the Great and Frederick the Great.
  • Historical Villain Upgrade: He's made into a stereotypical Russian tyrant, shamelessly trying to murder all of his opponents at the first opportunity, while the real Ivan IV's most infamous, Accidental Murder of his son, by comparison, was one that he immediately regretted and repented for throughout the rest of his life. The likes of Frederick the Great and Catherine the Great, and even Alexander were just as oppressive and brutal as him, but somehow come off better. Likewise, while Catherine the Great slams him for making Russia backward, Ivan IV actually commissioned the first printing presses in Russia and also built St. Basil's Cathedral (and did not Shoot the Buildernote ). Albeit, he's probably the best historically-remembered of the bunch for his ruthlessness toward his own people. Hence "the terrible".
    • In the behind-the-scenes, Nice Peter points out that some of the badness of his nickname is due to language drift that makes him seem worse than was intended when he got it. His Russian nickname, Grozny, can be translated as the old meaning of 'terrible' and also evokes the words 'fearsome' and 'formidable'.
  • I Surrender, Suckers: He pulls one on Alexander at the end of his first verse in order to poison him. Does this again for Frederick and Catherine, although Catherine doesn't buy it.
  • Kubrick Stare: Almost exclusively his look in the battle. He doesn't even blink.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Pulls off I Surrender, Suckers to manipulate and get the upper hand on Alexander and Frederick.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: His approach to rap battles is to kill his opponent instead of outrapping them.
  • Names to Run Away from Really Fast: He's not called "the Terrible" for nothing.
  • Obviously Evil: One of the most sinister rappers in the series with his backlit face, tone of voice and that wicked beard.
  • Oh, Crap!: Catherine is the Worthy Opponent that the others were not, and understands that he's in trouble now...
  • Offing the Offspring: Catherine insults him for killing his own son.
  • Rape, Pillage, and Burn: Threatens to sack Alexander like Novgorod
  • Razor Floss: His garrote wire that he uses to try and kill Frederick The Great, before he dies somehow.
  • Tempting Fate: Claims twice in the battle that no "Great" can defeat him. Enter Frederick the Great and Pompey the Great (followed promptly by Catherine the Great).

Alexander the Great

Played by: Zach Sherwin
"It seems no one can defeat me. I weep; it's all so easy!"

  • A God Am I: "I'm an immortal, you're not!"
  • The Ace: Never suffered a defeat in battle, though Ivan aims to hand him his first. And with a poisoned chalice, he does.
  • The Alcoholic: Ivan claims he hits the bottle too much. It's how Ivan kills him, courtesy of poison in a goblet.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: He ruled numerous kingdoms.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: Shamelessly boasts about torturing his enemies during his reign.
  • The Conqueror: During his verse, he shows off all the countries he has taken over, and at a younger age than his father did.
  • Cutting the Knot: Boasts about being the Trope Namer as he threatens to do the same to Ivan.
  • Foreshadowing: Mentions Ivan died during a chess game, something that comes back around when Catherine the Great ends the battle with a "Checkmate".
  • Gratuitous Greek: Uses the word "kudos" and then explains its meaning; "Greek for the glory I got!"
  • Horrible Judge of Character: Would you accept a drink from someone so Obviously Evil as Ivan?
  • I Resemble That Remark!: Ivan mocks his alcoholism. Later on, he makes a vodka joke and asks the Tsar to fetch him a drink.
  • Karmic Death: He boasts in his verse about the brutal and painful torture he inflicted on his enemies, only for Ivan's poison to put him through pain he refers to as "unbearable".
  • Manly Tears: Claims to "weep" because no one is a challenge for him. It's possibly a reference to the famous quote about Alexander ("When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.").
  • Motor Mouth: Launches into this mode when boasting about Cold-Blooded Torture.
  • No Challenge Equals No Satisfaction:"It seems no one can defeat me; I weep! It's all so easy!"
  • No-Sell: He looks positively bored during Ivan's verse, completely brushing him off.
  • Sacrificial Lion: Being killed off to show how cunning and ruthless Ivan is.
  • Smug Snake: He boasts about how powerful he is, but Ivan easily dispatches him.
  • The Strategist: To the point of going undefeated in battle; "winning every single war that I fought".
  • Tempting Fate: Told Ivan to fetch him a drink, which ended up killing him.
  • Victory Is Boring: He claims that no one can defeat him and laments that it's all so easy after Ivan "admits defeat."

Frederick the Great

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"Hard as steel on the field; genteel in the palace!"

  • Agent Peacock: A bit dramatic in energy, classy and well-dressed, and "genteel" and "not exactly straight" in his own words. Also quick and forceful in delivery and not well-regarded by history for nothing.
  • Anti-Climax: Ivan is about to garrote him to death and is surprised and disappointed to find he's already dead.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: King of Prussia.
  • Badass Gay: He references being "not exactly straight" while boasting of his historical accomplishments, such as the "oblique order" which is also "not straight", in a more literal fashion. Frederick's sexuality was considered a large part of his character while he was alive and it should be noted he is one of the few historical figures that there is no debate on if he was or was not.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: His Prussian military uniform shows how tough of a conqueror he really is.
  • Big Name Fan: In-universe. That "Old Fritz" chant in his intro? It's the series announcer.
  • Classy Cane: To highlight his more cultured side, he carries a cane.
  • Cultured Badass: Not only a military genius, but also an accomplished flutist.
  • Crowd Chant: His flute solo introduction is accompanied by chants of his nickname "Old Fritz".
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Ivan grabs him a seat after his verse, Frederick sits down and immediately dies in the chair. Ivan notes how sudden and unexpected this is. note 
  • Elegant Classical Musician: His genteel demeanor and talent as a flutist qualifies him for this.
  • Historical Hero Upgrade: Frederick the Great is presented as a Badass Gay military stereotype. The real Frederick was a military expansionist much the same way as Ivan IV, and during his campaigns villages and fields were burnt. Frederick was also the mastermind of the First Partition of Poland and expressed great bigotry to Poles (and to a slightly limited extent, Jews), and during his campaign against Poland, he ordered the ports of the Commonwealth to be bombarded. More importantly the Russophobia of some of his verses is highly hypocritical for some viewers, because the show neglects the fact that Russia saved his ass from almost certain (and considering his belligerence, deserved) defeat in the 2nd Miracle of Brandenburg.
  • Keet: His rhymes are very fast, his theme is extremely high-energy, and he's almost never standing still. It completely exhausts him.
  • Motor Mouth: Raps very fast through his twelve bars.
  • Nice Hat: In addition to his uniform, he sports a cool tricorn.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Or as he puts it: "Hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace".
  • Tempting Fate: Tells Ivan to fetch him a chair which Ivan does so he can strangle him in it. Downplayed since Frederick dies of old age before Ivan can kill him.
  • The Strategist: Brags about his "oblique attack tactics"
  • Token Good Teammate: He is probably the only one in the battle outside of the screentime-lacking Pompey that isn't portrayed as a ruthless bastard, with Ivan and Catherine gleefully murdering their competitor while Alexander boasting about torturing his enemy. He even has a more upbeat theme during his verse.

Pompey the Great

Played by: Mike Betette
"What about me, Pompey? Yeah!"

  • Bait-and-Switch Boss: He's set up as Ivan's next opponent after Frederick, but it only lasts for about five seconds before Catherine makes her own entry.
  • Butt-Monkey: The poor guy doesn't even get a chance to finish his first line. He only serves two purposes for the battle: making a Historical In-Joke at his own expense, and giving Catherine an excuse to rhyme "Romans" with "opponents".
  • Off with His Head!: When Catherine the Great enters the battle, she cuts off his head with garrote wire.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: He's killed off to establish how ruthless Catherine is.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: He gets half a line before Catherine offs him.

Catherine the Great

Played by: Meghan Tonjes
"I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!"

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Empress of Russia.
  • Berserk Button: Her composure noticeably slips when Ivan insinuates that she has sex with horses, though she recovers quickly.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: She would like you to know that the "died by being crushed by a horse during sex" story is a pile of shit, thank you very much.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: As portrayed by the plump and pretty Meghan Tonjes, Catherine the Great was an archetypal example later in life, and she Really Gets Around.
  • Brick Joke: Her final line against Ivan declares a checkmate, a callback to Alexander saying Ivan died during a chess match.
  • Dirty Old Woman: The handles of her garrote are shaped like penises, in reference of her extensive collection of phallic furniture.
  • The Empress: She's not content to settle for the title of "Queen", and she shifted the balance of power in Europe to back it up.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: She appears disgusted by Ivan The Terrible's mental state and how he killed his son.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Promiscuous as she is, she's still not into animals. Or Ivan.
  • Glory Days: Claims to have brought the Russian Empire into "the golden age".
  • The High Queen: Though she is a powerful and commanding royal woman, she rejects the title of "queen" because it is not great enough for her.
  • Historical Hero Upgrade: Granted, she's still extremely ruthless and much darker than Alexander or Frederick, but Catherine the Great is presented as hating Ivan IV, when in reality she was a German Princess who did her best to assimilate into Russia, and would certainly not have slagged Ivan so casually. Likewise, Catherine oppressed the serfs of the Russian Empire and Poland, sending free peasants into serfdom and refeudalizing Ukraine and like Frederick, masterminded the destruction of the Polish Lithuanian Commonwealthnote .
  • Hypocritical Humor: She disses Prussians, and yet she is one just like Frederick. She also disses Ivan for being Ax-Crazy immediately before cheerfully gloating that she plunged Europe into war to unbalance her rivals, as if that was somehow better.
  • Immigrant Patriotism: Of a sort. She's not Russian by birth, but she clearly considers herself one. You'd think she was born into House Romanov instead of marrying into it.
  • Lady of War: A female warmonger only content to prove how powerful she is.
  • Large and in Charge: A Big Beautiful Woman who is also The Empress.
  • Musical Assassin: Catherine, unusually, doesn't rap at all-she instead sings tunefully.
  • No-Sell: Doesn't fall for Ivan's Running Gag temptations.
  • Pimped-Out Dress: A voluminous one, decked out in numerous diamonds.
    • In the behind-the-scenes, Meghan points out the dress was actually very hard to move in, hence why Catherine isn't a very animated battle rapper compared to the others in the video.
  • Razor Floss: Her garrote wire that has penis-shaped wooden handles, which unlike Ivan with Frederick she uses to kill Pompey.
  • Really Gets Around: She is proud of that. In her words, she's "bringing sexy back to house Romanov".
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Her gentle tone is betrayed by her powerhouse figure and ruthlessness.
  • Takes One to Kill One: Claims it takes a Russian to kill a Russian, which is why she enters the battle to school Ivan. Except technically, she's not Russian.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!"
  • Worthy Opponent: Lampshaded and defied when she claims that Alexander ("Macedonians"), Frederick ("Prussians"), and Pompey ("and Romans") are not proper worthy opponents for a fellow Russian.

     Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton 

Donald Trump

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

See Season 3.

Hillary Clinton

Played by: Kimmy Gatewood
"I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain!"

  • Action Girl: Raps against Trump without pause.
  • Badass Boast: Claims that while Trump only fires celebrities on The Apprentice, Hilary was firing Bin Laden back in Afghanistan.
  • Berserk Button: She loses it when she brings up about all the women Trump allegedly molested.
  • Everyone Has Standards: She has a horrified look on her face as Trump is about to violate his N-Word Privileges.
  • Hypocrite: Boasts that she is a public servant as opposed to Trump, but he is quick to point out Hillary's rep with the majority of voting America isn't any better. She is also furious at Trump for molesting women, but Trump fires back at the Clinton family's own shady history in that regard.
    Trump: What do the American people gotta yankee-yoodle-doo to get through your fat face, that they're just not that into you!/ Your Bill's worse than Cosby.
  • Large Ham: Very loud and emotional in her raps.
    • This is in contrast to the real life Hillary, who is often criticized for her lack of emotion and appearing cold.
  • My Name Is Inigo Montoya:
    Clinton: First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics, I got 'em.
  • Never Mess with Granny: A grandmother in real life, fearless, and was firing at Bin Laden.
  • Our Presidents Are Different: Rather, Our Presidential Candidates Are Different. Hillary is aiming to become the first female President of the United States.
  • That Russian Squat Dance: Does it in the background when pointing out Trump's Russian connections.
  • Technically a Smile: Lincoln calls her out on her creepy smile.

Abraham Lincoln

Played by: Peter Shukoff

See Season 1.

     Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin 

Ash Ketchum

Played by: Brian Walters
"Gotta catch 'em all!"

  • The Beastmaster: Comes with the Pokémon territory. Pikachu helps physically fight off Team Rocket, and Ash threatens to sic Charizard on Darwin.
  • Bratty Half-Pint: He's loud, crude, and...see Kick the Dog.
  • Kick the Dog: On his last verse where he invokes the famous "Gotta catch 'em all" line to mock Darwin's dead children.
  • Kill It with Fire: His Charizard is a Fire type.
  • Merchandise-Driven: According to Darwin, the value of his series is measured by merchandise instead of something grander.
  • Name's the Same: Darwin compares him, unfavorably, to Ash from Evil Dead.
  • Nice Hat: Wears his signature red cap.
  • Not Allowed to Grow Up: Darwin makes fun of how Ash is still ten in the anime.
  • Race Lift: Subverted - the art style of the Pokémon anime, due to favoring the Pokémon, actually winds up very atypical of anime in general, allowing it to be ingrained as an international phenomenon rather than a Widget Series, so the casting of the mixed-parentage Brian Walters is actually more fitting.
  • Relative Button: As noted in his Kick the Dog moment, he decides to bring up Darwin's children dying tragically young from disease.
  • Shock and Awe: His Pikachu is an Electric type that uses its' thunder attacks to ward off Team Rocket.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The Slob to Darwin's Snob. Ash's adventures have left him unimpressed by Darwin's intellectual work.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Downplayed; being the youngest contender in an Epic Rap Battle at ten years old, you really wouldn't expect the swearing and reference to Darwin's kids dying. It only gets by because it's Epic Rap Battles.
  • Younger Than They Look: Brian Walters is clearly not a kid. Granted, in the anime, the only reason Ash is identified as being ten years old these days is because of Word of God.

Charles Darwin

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!"

  • Ascended Extra: Charles was first featured in ERB News. And well before Teddy.
  • Badass Beard: Has a long beard that adds to his distinguished-scientist look.
  • Badass Bookworm: Establishes himself as an intellectual mastermind having created the theory on evolution.
  • Badass Longcoat: Darwin's black Victorian frock coat helps to reinforce his distinguished presence.
  • Bald of Awesome: Has hair on the sides, though. It does go well with his beard.
  • Cool Ship: His ship, the HMS Beagle is sitting on the dock in the background.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Establishes himself as such in his opening lines:
    Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth
    Where actual minds do ground breaking work
  • Extreme Omnivore: His research on those millions of animal species would often involve eating them. This is literally the first thing we see him doing here!
  • Hypocritical Humor: He comments negatively on Ash's supposed abuse by making Pokémon fight, even though Darwin made it a habit of killing and eating all sorts of exotic animals.
  • Kissing Cousins: Ash claims that Darwin shares his cousins' gene pool.
  • Old Master: Spent so much time on his research that his bearded, aged appearance we see here is his primary representation in popular culture as the "master" of evolutionary theory.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The Snob to Ketchum's Slob. Darwin claims that he's doing actual work that breaks scientific ground and that Ash is an bumpkin and an idiot.
  • Tranquil Fury: Of sorts. He listens to Ash making fun of his dead children, mentions how it was hard for him, and then spits a Your Mom joke at the trainer.
  • Your Mom: Ends his last verse claiming Professor Oak is busy banging Ash's mom right now.

     Wonder Woman vs. Stevie Wonder 

Wonder Woman

Played by: Lilly Singh
"I'm in my Amazon Prime!"

  • Action Girl: A female superhero who tries to one-up Stevie Wonder in a rap battle to see who the better "Wonder" is.
  • Cool Crown: Or tiara in this case, although Stevie dismisses the notion of it being "cool."
  • Cool Plane: Not if you ask Stevie. He thinks Wonder Woman looks dumb flying in her invisible jet.
  • Hypocrite: Stevie accuses her of being this.
    Stevie: You're Miss Independent, or at least you try, but your first story is you... running off... with a guy.
  • Kubrick Stare: She does so at the beginning of her first verse. It can't be for intimidation, given that Stevie can't see it, so it must just be a game face.
  • Offhand Backhand: At one point, she deflects an incoming meteor without even looking at it.
  • Precision-Guided Boomerang: Shows off her skills with her tiara. Stevie claims he beat her so badly, even her tiara couldn't come back from his burns.
  • Pygmalion Plot: Boasts of her origin as a clay statue given life by divine powers.
    Gods made me out of clay and then they broke the mold!
  • Race Lift: Wonder Woman is Greek and Lilly Singh is Indian.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Stevie says she's sucked for a few thousand years.

Stevie Wonder

Played by: T-Pain
"I'm the ceremony master blaster with the bars!"

  • Acceptable Targets: Wonder Woman mocks him for being more dedicated to his veganism than his kids.
  • Auto-Tune: Averted. Despite being played by a man famous for his use of it, Stevie doesn't use it at all.
  • Blind Black Guy: The first blind rapper in an ERB.
  • Blind Musician: His lack of vision hasn't stopped him from producing many hit singles.
  • Character Tics: WW mocks his "king cobra head sway".
  • Cool Shades: His red-rimmed sunglasses.
  • Disappeared Dad: WW refers to him as a full-time lover and a part-time father.
  • Follow the Leader: Invoked. Wonder Woman claims that Stevie stole most of his traits from Ray Charles.
  • Fun Personified: Spends the entire battle grinning and laughing and never shows any signs of anger.
  • Handicapped Badass: Stevie doesn't back down when rapping against Wonder Woman, one of the most powerful superheroes in the DC Universe.
  • Large Ham: Especially in the beginning where he sings his first lines with a lot of passion.
  • Really Gets Around: Nine different kids with five different mothers.
  • Self-Deprecation: Diana gets only around two indirect jabs at his blindness; Stevie makes most of the battle's blind jokes himself to set up his own punchlines, even saying Diana's plots are so thin, "Even I can see through 'em."
  • Skewed Priorities: Acccording to Wonder Woman, he put his veganism over his children.
  • Song Style Shift: His first six lines are sung and not rapped, with a soul arrangement laid on top of the beat.
  • Straw Vegetarian: What Wonder Woman accuses him of, in being that his diet is more important that his family.

     Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky 

Tony Hawk

Played by: Peter Shukoff
"I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports!"

  • Can't Catch Up: Gretsky asserts that he's too far ahead of Hawk in terms of accomplishments and talent for Hawk to ever catch up.
  • Fantasy Helmet Enforcement: Starts his second verse wearing protective gear when he's about to hit the ramp.
  • Friendly Enemy: To Gretzky. He refers to him in a friendly tone by his first name, and doesn't get heated in either his digs or his responses.
  • Friend to All Children: Claims to "tell kids all 'round the world that there's nothing that they can't do" and "put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes", a reference to the real life Tony Hawk's philanthropic activities, particularly via the Tony Hawk Foundation that helps to build skateparks in underprivileged areas.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Complains about hockey games losing their touch, but Gretzky reminds him of Pro Skater 3.
  • Lame Pun Reaction: Gretzky's "deke joke" line gets Hawk to take a couple of lines just to dig at how bad the pun was.
  • Serial Spouse: Gretzky mentions that Hawk is now married to his fourth wife.
  • Stealth Pun: Tony Hawk gives us "Not Cash Money; it's just Wayne versus Birdman!" note 
  • The Stoic: In a World of Ham, he's one of the most reserved rappers seen yet. He keeps his voice level and never changes his expression, even in response to serious digs by Gretzky.
  • Waxing Lyrical: "I got 99 problems and you ain't one, Wayne!"

Wayne Gretzky

Played by: Zach Sherwin
"I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey!"

  • Always Someone Better: When mentioning that Hawk and him have 184 world records between them, Gretzky notes that he set 183 of those records. He also mentions that his net worth is double that of Hawk's.
  • Badass Boast: In response to Hawk saying he keeps his hands clean by keeping his gloves on and telling his teammates to fight for him, Gretzky takes his gloves off and threatens to cross-check him.
  • Badass Decay: Hawk says that hockey teams used to have guts but now they all "mighty suck", including Gretzky's.
  • Canada, Eh?: He's a Canadian hockey player with a thick accent, and Tony Hawk makes a joke about poutine for good measure.
  • Curb-Stomp Cushion:
    That verse was rough! Damn, Tony! Now let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni!
  • Flipping the Bird: Does a "finger flip" end of his first line and then he rotates that one finger around.
  • Friendly Enemy: Like Hawk, he refers to his opponent by his first name in the process of complimenting one of his lines ("That verse was rough, damn Tony!"), and doesn't sound at all mad throughout the battle.
  • Flunky Boss: Tony interprets him as such.
    Tony Hawk: You've got your whole league to protect and adore you, so which goon's gonna take this battle for you?
  • Gag Nose: Hawk devotes an entire bar to Wayne's nose, saying it must've seen some "extreme snorts", and that even he wouldn't do a jump off of something that "titanic".
  • The Gloves Come Off: Early in his first verse - they're still on after that but you get the idea.
  • Happily Married: Happily brings up his wife as the only woman in the world for him.
  • Mic Drop: Does this with his hockey stick to end the rap.
  • Nice Guy: Even his opponent admits this, referring to him as "too clean".
  • No True Scotsman: Claims that "true sports fans" knew he was going to win as soon as they saw his name on the match-up.
  • The Red Baron: Known as "The Great One", which Tony uses for a easy pun.
  • Stealth Pun:
    • Gretzky sneaks two of them in, just as he slams his hockey mitts on the floor:
    Gretzky: "Its a street fight, T. Hawk, show some respect!"note 

    And I take a Flyer down, Bird, you're getting wrecked,note 
    So you best prepare for arrival and cross-check!note 
    • He adds another at the end of of his first verse, concerning Tony being on his fourth marriage:
    Gretzky: "And my hot wife: the only woman in the world for Wayne"
    "You're on your fourth wife. Talk about the Ex Games."

     Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill 

Theodore Roosevelt

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
"What's up, bitches?!"

  • Actor Allusion: Churchill describes him as "a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet".
  • America Won World War II: Seems to think so given his verse about Pearl Harbor.
  • Animal Motifs: Churchill compares him to the Teddy bears who are named for him, but TR himself points out he's a Bull-Moose.
  • Ascended Extra: Started out as an announcer for ERB, but he eventually got his own rap battle.
  • Badass Boast: In response to getting shot: "A BULLET CAN'T STOP THE BULL MOOSE!"
  • Badass Mustache: Roosevelt is well known for his iconic mustache and for being a general badass.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: Raps in a spiffy black suit.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: His very first line: "Bully, a challenge! I love competition!"
  • Breakout Character: Shortly after his debut, ERB News, which would previously feature different people such as Charles Darwin and Adam Smith (who has yet to appear in an actual battle to this very day) became ERB News with Teddy Roosevelt.
  • Brief Accent Imitation: Not even Teddy Roosevelt is above this when rapping against a Brit.
    "Everyone knows you're at home like 'thank god for Pearl Harbor'!"
  • Catchphrase: "What's up, bitches?!" His battle adds his Real Life "Bully!" (an exclamation roughly meaning "cool" or "awesome")
  • Challenge Seeker: He claims to "love competition".
  • Determinator: Teddy gets shot in the chest toward the end of the battle and shrugs it off so he can continue his rap battle. This was based on an actual event.
  • Egomaniac Hunter: Wonders where he'd mount Winston's head on his wall, given his space is fairly filled up.
  • Handicapped Badass: Being born asthmatic and nearsighted did not prevent him from becoming a soldier and then President.
  • Irony: Verbal. Roosevelt calls Churchill an 'old man', whereas in reality Roosevelt was 16 years older while their lives overlapped (Churchill outlived Roosevelt by 46 years). Given they're both taken from their most famous period this makes more sense as Roosevelt was way younger as president (42) than Churchill was as prime minister (66).
  • Large Ham: Extremely loud and over the top even by the standards of this series.
  • Large Ham Announcer: Much like the Announcer, he is loud and boisterous.
  • Made of Iron: Takes a bullet to the chest during the battle and keeps going.
  • Manchild: Churchill says he's "an overgrown Boy Scout."
  • Nobody Loves the Bassist: Churchill uses the Mount-Rushmore-as-a-band metaphor by comparing Mount Rushmore to a band and making Roosevelt its bassist.
  • No-Sell: Gets shot and barely even reacts.
  • Overshadowed by Awesome: Churchill accuses him of being this, claiming he's the least remarkable of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore, and uses the Nobody Loves the Bassist trope to illustrate his point. Also, while he doesn't denigrate Teddy's presidency itself, he claims that Teddy's accomplishments simply can't measure up to his ("I was saving the planet from an Axis of darkness, while you were back at home opening national parks, yes!").
  • Patriotic Fervor: Oh yeah. In addition to threatening Churchill with his "American muscle" there is this line here:
    You should be ashamed of your military honor. Everyone knows you're back at home like "Thank god for Pearl Harbor!"
  • Rated M for Manly: Boasts about his personal fitness, ditch-digging, horse-riding, military service, and "American muscles". Also barely reacts to getting shot.
  • Real Men Get Shot: Just like in Real Life, Roosevelt gets shot in the chest and doesn't even flinch, continuing with the battle while boasting that a bullet won't be enough to stop him.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The snob to Churchill's slob, though Roosevelt's much more vulgar and exuberant than other snobs. He wears a pressed suit while boasting of his military experience and personal fitness, and Churchill calls him "an overgrown boy-scout."
  • Specs of Awesome: Pince-nez, to be precise.
  • Suddenly SHOUTING!: Every line of his is loud, but after he's shot, he comes back literally roaring.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "What's up, bitches?"
  • Tranquil Fury: Only displays a scowl when he mentions the deaths of Churchill's men at Gallipoli.
  • Truth in Television: Famously disliked Churchill in life, as he does in this battle.
  • Worthy Opponent: His very fist words indicate he considers Churchill this.
    Bully! A challenge! I love competition!

Winston Churchill

Played by: Dan Bull
"I'll battle to the end, and I will never surrender!"

  • The Alcoholic: Churchill drank heavily in life, which is reflected here, and hints he might be drunk while rapping.
    Roosevelt: Don't go toe-to-toe with me, you bloated, drunk old man!
    Why don't you do-si-do on over to a 12-step program?
  • America Won World War II: In his opinion Britain Won World War II. He brags about "saving the planet from an Axis of darkness". Roosevelt counters by claiming that the USA did more fighting (and spending) than Britain by far, even saying that Britain should change his poster to "Keep Calm and Kiss My Cousin's Ass". note 
  • Animal Motifs: He compares himself to a bulldog.
  • Badass Boast: Ends the battle with one, a paraphrase of a Real Life one from him: "I'll battle to the end and I will never surrender!".
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: Wears his hat and dinner jacket while he talks about helping fight the Nazis during World War II.
  • Cigar Chomper: Starts his first verse asking for a cigar, and later admits that he's a chain smoker.
  • Cool Old Guy: Churchill became prime minister at 66 and he holds his own against a much younger-looking Roosevelt.
  • Determinator:
    I'll battle to the end and I will never surrender!
  • Drunken Master: He claims to have come to the battle sloshed and yet he still orders another large glass before boasting how quickly he's going to defeat Roosevelt.
  • Face of a Thug: Enough that Teddy uses up a couple of lines on it just like Tony Hawk did earlier.
    "I mean for Christ's sake! Look at that mug! At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!"
  • General Failure: Roosevelt considers him this, saying he's drastically overrated and specifically citing the Gallipoli Campaign as proof.note 
  • Kick the Dog: Mocks the deaths of Roosevelt's family members.
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Remarks that his opponent looks like EpicLLOYD, the rapper playing him.
  • Made of Iron: Brags that while Teddy was born asthmatic and died relatively young despite being a fitness nut and outdoorsman, he is healthy enough to keep trucking despite drinking heavily and "getting up every morning to chain smoke cigars". In Real Life, Churchill lived to the age of 90.
  • Nice Hat: He is "fresh in a hat"; a classy bowler hat.
  • Off with His Head!: Roosevelt wonders where he can put his head after stuffing it.
  • Parental Abandonment: As Roosevelt points out, his parents all but ditched him.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Wears a angry scowl for the entire rap.
  • Red Baron: He references his famous montiker, "The British Bulldog", while comparing it to Teddy's far less intimidating nickname, "Teddy", while overlooking Teddy's other nickname of "Bull Moose".
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: The slob to Roosevelt's snob, though Churchill is much more eloquent and dapper than other slobs. He openly admits to chain smoking and apparently came to the rap battle drunk, and Roosevelt even calls him a "bloated, drunk old man."
  • Smoking Is Cool: He believes so since he talks about how much he likes cigars.
  • Verbal Tic: Throws a bunch of Yeses and Sees into the end of his lines to salvage his rhymes.
  • We Have Reserves: Teddy accuses of him of throwing away lives in the Gallipoli Campaign.

     NicePeter vs EpicLLOYD (rematch) 


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