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The following tropes page may contain language that some people may find crude, vulgar, or objectionable. The author makes no apologies for this. In fact, he is quite proud of it. This trope page is intended for mature audiences only. If you are uptight, puritanical, easily offended, or lacking a sense of humor, please stop reading and leave the Internet. Now.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the trope page for Cinematic Excrement. Currently in the process of ruining your life.

A movie review series on Blip (since 'let go', and now primarily on YouTube as well as Vimeo) starring the self-titled Smeghead (real name: Sean Moore) in which he rips apart the worst cinema has to offer, whether it be DTV, mockbuster, or blockbuster. His schedule is generally one review a month, with each video generally being 20–30 minutes in length.

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Since August 2018, he's decided to marathon and review every winner of the Golden Raspberry Award for "Worst Picture".

Cinematic Excrement provides examples of:

  • Actually Pretty Funny: He'll concede when a joke is good.
    • One such instance is the fact that Diedrich Bader's character in Meet the Spartans is a clever play on obvious traitors in movies. Not that it'll do the rest of the movie any good.
    • 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain has the Jamaican minion asking for Hulk Hogan's character's autograph, just to say he'll get it later when the Big Bad snaps at him. Smeghead admits it's kinda funny.
    • This exchange in Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star:
      Jimmy Fallon: You don't look like the average porn star.
      Bucky Larson: Oh yeah, 'cause I'm wearing a sweater.
  • Adaptation Dye-Job: Deconstructed in his review of Eragon. When Arya is shown to have red hair instead of black as described in the book, he explains why this is dumb. Reason one is that Sienna Guillory is a natural blonde, so they had to make her hair red for the part, and she's had her hair dyed black in other movies, such as Resident Evil: Apocalypse.
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  • All Just a Dream: Takes a decent portion of his Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 review expressing his outrage with the film pulling this with the battle between the vampires and Volturi, which included the death of major character Carlisle (which took Smeghead genuinely by surprise, since it didn't happen in the books), revealed to be a vision, which he saw as an extreme cop out.
  • Author Appeal:
    • If you're looking for someone to spew vitriol on the Twilight or Fifty Shades franchise, you've come to the right place.
    • Given his love of scripted (WWE) and unscripted (UFC) combat sports, he's reviewed quite a few wrestling and MMA films, including the infamous No Holds Barred and Ready to Rumble and the first two films in the Never Back Down series. His love for wrestling has also shown up in other reviews via Shout-Outs, such as referring to one of the Big Bad's bird-costumed henchmen in the Leonard Part 6 review as Marty Scurll.
    • Happy Madison films, including, but not limited to those starring Adam Sandler, are another popular target for the Smeghead.
  • Award Snub: In universe example. He criticized the Razzies for not nominating The Book of Henry or The Snowman. Similarly, he criticizes the organization for naming Mommie Dearest the worst film of the 1980s over Inchon, and later criticizes them for not even nominating Yor: The Hunter from the Future for Worst Picture from 1983, feeling that it was far more worthy of the title of Worst Picture for that year than The Lonely Lady, despite the fact that they did nominate that film for several other categories.
  • Awesome, but Impractical: He criticizes the Nanobot assassin from Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever to be this. While it is untraceable and makes the victim look like he had a heart attack, it has to be injected into the victim, by bullet or syringe. He says that conventional bullets or poison would work just as well.
  • Bait-and-Switch: In his review of Last Ounce of Courage, he shares in detail, the only real-life example he found of a "War on Christmas", in the town of Johnsonville, Arizona:
    Smeghead: That year the town folk built a large, wooden nativity scene outside the city courthouse, much like they have done every year for thirty years. But that year, an attorney who had just moved into the area, one James Franklin Esquire, filed a complaint with the city upon the discovering the nativity scene, claiming a large wooden structure in the hot dry, desert town he lived in would pose a safety and fire hazard, and when the city refused to remove the structure he sued them and one. Now, it should be noted that Mr. Franklin was an avowed atheist and was not at all shy about expressing his rather negative view on religion in public and many of the townsfolk thought his safety excuse was merely a cover for his personal bias and it should also be noted the structure was inspected by the local fire chief and even an expert they brought in from out of town who both concluded the risk of fire by the structure was minimal at best. But the most important thing to remember about this particular scenario is (Beat) the town of Johnsonville doesn't exist, I just pulled that story out of my ass right now, there is no real-world example because the war on Christmas is not real. You idiot.
  • Bait-and-Switch Comment:
    • In his review of Kiara the Brave (a direct-to-video mockbuster of Brave), he states that the animation looks great... when compared to the animated sequence in UHF.
    • He repeats the trope years later in his review of Norm of the North: "The first thing you'll notice when watching Norm of the North is the animation looks great... when compared to Kiara the Brave." It brings the Kiara the Brave review full-circle.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: In his review of Batman & Robin, he notes how parents' backlash to the more violent aspects of Batman (1989) and Batman Returns led to executives pushing for a family-friendlier style with Joel Schumacher at the helm that culminated with Batman & Robin essentially being a super-long cartoonish toy commercial.
    "Well, parents; you wanted them to tone down the violence, and in exchange, you got a bunch of snot-nosed little brats whining and begging you to buy them the latest Batman & Robin action figures. Was it worth it?"
  • Berserk Button:
    • Edward only showing concern for Bella's feelings when they learn about Jacob telling Charlie about Bella needing to 'change' to live from Breaking Dawn Part 2.
    • Also from Breaking Dawn Part 2, the reveal of the major battle being a dream sequence.
    • People who are unfaithful to their spouses/partners seem to get Smeghead particularly riled up.
      • In the review for Inchon, he is completely disgusted with one of the subplots being about the main protagonist's affair with a Japanese/Korean woman, only for said woman to die at the end of the film, after which he returns to his wife, who's none the wiser, with no consequences.
      • In the review for Bolero, while discusing the scene in which a character played by then 14-year-old Olivia d'Abo does a full-frontal nude scene, Smeghead brings up the unsavory implications that it might have something to do with the fact that the film's director John Derek met and began dating his wife Bo Derek when she was 16, and to top it off, it happened while he was still married to Linda Evans.
        Smeghead: Not only he was a creep; he was a cheatin' creep.
    • Using the sacrifices of soldiers to prop up your own point. Particularly if it is a stupid point, as seen in his review of Last Ounce of Courage.
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: During the Bucky Larson review, Smeghead says that Bucky makes him feel pretty good about what he's packing.
    Smeghead: It's above average… I'm pretty sure it is.
  • Big-Lipped Alligator Moment: invoked
  • Big "WHAT?!": When Smeghead hears Nathalie telling Rod "It's been a while since you went down on me" in Birdemic 2: The Resurrection.
  • Black Comedy: Smeghead's sense of humor occasionally dips into the macabre. See Suicide as Comedy below.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Discussed in That's My Boy, which starts with a Teacher/Student Romance that ends in the entire school catching the teacher and student in the act of sex, which falls more into child molestation and rape than anything...only for the school to give the student a standing ovation. Smeghead notes how unfunny the whole situation is, even though he believes that any subject matter can be made into comedy no matter how macabre but only if the audience is given a reason to find it funny, using George Carlin's "Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd" bit as successful proof of the same type of joke that the film failed to pull off.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Implemented in his description of Bill Cosby when reviewing Leonard Part 6, to be as honest a summary of the man as possible.
    "And what can you say about Bill Cosby that hasn't already been said? The man is a legend in the field of comedy, known for his incredibly funny stand-up routines, the long-running hit TV sitcom The Cosby Show, and for being a rapist."
  • Catch-Phrase:
    • "Continuity: it's not a polite suggestion" whenever there is a continuity goof.
    • "I'm the Smeghead and Hollywood can suck it."
    • "Thanks for wasting my time, movie!" whenever there's a long scene just to pad out the running time.
    • "Our hero(es), ladies and gentlemen!" whenever the people the audience are supposed to be rooting for make a dick move.
    • "Don't worry, this will all make sense never."
    • "There are four billion vaginas/three billion dicks on the planet, you can find another one!" or anything to that effect when a character is angsting after a breakup.
    • "This is my shocked face." whenever there's an obvious twist In-Universe.
    • "S/he takes the news surprisingly well." or something to that effect when someone has a violent or emotional outburst after receiving bad news.
    • "Because... reasons." whenever a character does something that makes no sense.
  • Cathartic Scream: After Breaking Dawn Part 2's final battle is revealed as merely a vision, he lets out his anger by screaming into a pillow...for at least half an hour.
  • Caustic Critic: Deconstructed actually. In comparison to his other fellow YouTube movie reviewers like Adam Johnson or Ralph Sepi who are known to be viciously caustic with their criticisms, Sean provides criticism through a calm demeanor (unless really provoked) and even can give a bad film certain good elements it may have.
  • Censor Box: Pretty much every scene in his Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star review.
  • Christmas Episode: Since 2011, he's done one (or in some cases two) Christmas themed reviews.
  • Christmas in July: Directly referred to his reviewing Saving Christmas in July 2016 (since he didn't want to wait the whole five months) as this.
  • Content Warnings: Most of his videos begin with one of these, though they are more of a Take That! to those they are warning rather than cautioning them to watch with discretion.
  • Couch Gag:
    • His trademark content warning began changing each episode, starting with his review of Planet of the Apes (2001), which simplified his normal warning to a bare minimum. It essentially read, "This video has objectionable language; if you're under 18, go fuck yourself." The review for Mommie Dearest is also altered so that it cautions about the film featuring child abuse, and warning beforehand that Smeghead might not be the best person to discuss it.
    • His introductions themselves vary with every episode.
      Sean: Welcome to Cinematic Excrement. Shaken. Not stirred.
  • *Cough* Snark *Cough*: When noting how Pan's version of Peter Pan has a dyslexia that only applies to English but can read the Neverland fairy language perfectly fine.
    "(cough) Percy Jackson! (cough) Sorry, I'm getting over a very sarcastic cold."
  • Critical Research Failure: In-Universe; discussed whenever a movie messes up with its research.
    • The Amityville Haunting made several errors when recounting the real-life story it (and the film it emulates) is based on, and it rubbed Smeghead an especially wrong way with John Matthew DeFeo, one of the Amityville murder victims, being called John Matthews DeFeo in the film, which he saw as disrespectful to John's memory.
    • Saving Christmas's ample inaccuracies and inconsistencies were called out by him, especially considering "[he] can count on one hand the number of times [he attends] church every year".
  • Curse Cut Short: He criticized Battleship doing this twice in the exact same way, saying if you have an f-bomb in your script, but your going for a PG-13 rating, you should just cut it or else it'll come off as weak when you inevitably have to censor it.
  • Damned by Faint Praise:
    • See Bait-and-Switch Comment above.
    • He considers Poison Ivy to be the best villain in Batman & Robin...while also noting how her competition is an obnoxiously exaggerated Dumb Muscle character and a comically underdeveloped character with a penchant for horrible puns.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: When he reaches the shower scene in Whiteout (which he believes the director added in as fanservice for both the audience and himself), Smeghead smugly notes that he might be needing a few tissues...to blow his nose.
    "What? I have a cold."
  • Dastardly Whiplash: Referenced when talking about the overly villainous nuns that run the orphanage in Pan.
    "If they had mustaches, I'm pretty sure they'd be twirling them constantly."
  • Deadpan Snarker: Almost on par with Brad Jones or Spoony.
  • Death by Adaptation: He criticizes its usage in The Snowman in regards to Katrine Bratt.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Lampshaded in Sucker Punch when Babydoll is going to do a Heroic Sacrifice to save Sweet Pea and tells her that it's actually her story and not Babydoll's. Smeghead jokes about this by saying, "That's why I was the main focus of the film."
  • Department of Redundancy Department: A Running Gag in several episodes is that he'll add the caption "Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department™" whenever something redundant occurs in a movie. One such example is the "giant jumbo jellyfish" in Birdemic 2: The Resurrection. And yes, it is always referred to as that.
  • Designated Hero: In-Universe. He's discussed it in a few videos, and it seems to be a pet-peeve of his. In Never Back Down and its sequel, he notes the characters in the former are arrogant unlikable jerks, while in the second the heroes are not only too bland, but many of their more asshole-ish actions are just glanced over. He even states that the villain in the sequel is the most interesting as he's got a character arc and his negative actions are treated as bad by the narrative.
  • Designated Villain: In-Universe. He discusses this in A Thousand Words regarding the lead, Jack. While he feels Jack is a terrible father, husband, businessman, and person, the movie keeps trying to push a Generation Xerox on him by saying he's become his father (who walked out on him and his mom). Sean feels that it's a bad comparison because as bad as Jack is, he's staying with his family and keeps them supported financially, which his own father never did.
  • Dude, Not Funny!:
    • His reaction to Danny DeVito's character talking about accidentally crushing a cat with a fridge in Deck the Halls. He felt the joke was disturbing and out of place in a family comedy.
    • His reaction to a majority of jokes in That's My Boy, from the child molestation-laden Teacher/Student Romance at the start to Donny's horrible job at fathering Todd being Played for Laughs.
    • Essentially his reaction to people calling Mommie Dearest an "unintentional comedy," due to Faye Dunaway Chewing the Scenery. He counters by pointing out how besides the silliness of Dunaway's performance, the movie itself is actually very disturbing due to its portrayal of Joan Crawford's abuse of her adopted children.
  • Dull Surprise: Invoked with his reactions to obvious twists.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: He didn't drop hints for his viewers about what movie he'll be reviewing next until his 18th episode (his review of Eragon, in which he hints that he'll be reviewing Dungeons and Dragons).
  • Evil Laugh: After a overly villainous nun in Pan orders Peter Pan to do an incredibly dangerous task (scaling a tall building with a dinghy ladder to clean gutters) and, when he asks about the task's safety, notes that all of the paperwork is in order if an orphan dies.
    "Jesus, lady. Just do your maniacal laugh and get it over with! You know you want to."
  • Excited Show Title!: According to his rules, he deems the correct pronunciation of any film title with an exclamation point at the end to be shouting the title. Examples include mother!, Inchon (which is sometimes formatted as Inchon!), Airplane!, and Why Did You Let Pierce Brosnan Sing!.
  • Excuse Plot: Sometimes uses these as a way to review a particular film.
  • Face Palm: Does one accompanied by a drumroll in his Sucker Punch review when a mission to retrieve a knife is represented through another mission to disarm a bomb that is only related to the real mission because the bomb is given the silly codename "Kitchen Knife".
  • Fan Disservice: He calls the sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey unerotic.
  • Fanservice: Makes a visual note of scenes invoking this trope throughout the Twilight Saga. Unsurprisingly, Jacob supplies most of them.
  • Flat "What": This is his initial response to the final battle in Breaking Dawn Part 2 turning out to be the vision Alice shows Aro.
  • Freudian Slip: Sometimes uses them sarcastically. In his review of Bucky Larson, he notes that Adam Sandler came up with the idea for the film and shares writing credits with his "cronies—I mean, friends."
  • Fun with Acronyms:
    • By the end of the Jem and the Holograms review, he's only able to refer to the film as JINO (Jem In Name Only).
    • Similarly, he refers to the infamous X-Men Origins: Wolverine version of Deadpool as DINO (Deadpool In Name Only).
  • Groin Attack: When reviewing The Host, his "Soul" makes him punch himself in the groin after he tried to stop her.
  • Hypocritical Humor: in his Howard The Duck review he calls Howard weird for covering his walls with postersnote .
  • In Name Only:
    • He uses this trope word for word when talking about Vernon in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014).
    • He sometimes refers to adaptations of stories or characters as abbreviated acronyms of "____ In Name Only" when said adaptation is so horrendous that he refuses to associate it with its source material.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: He tends to pull out a flask when things get to be too much for him.
    • And for his review of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (Episode 43), he replaces his usual sign-off with "I need a shot of whatever Banderas was drinking on set".
    • At the end of his review of Kiara the Brave, instead of his usual Signing-Off Catchphrase, he signs off the review by saying "I need a stiff drink..."
  • Insult to Rocks:
    • In the review of The Cat in the Hat, he remarks about the cliché "jealous boyfriend of single parent tries to get the kid shipped off to boarding school" plot point with "I would suggest the writers got their ideas from 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Children's Movies', but that would be an insult to the greater complete idiots community."
    • In his Norm of the North review, when talking about the Lemmings, he states "I would suggest this movie was written by five-year-olds, but that would be an insult to five-year-olds."
    • In his Meet the Spartans review, when showing the film's first gag (a Shrek baby projectile-vomiting profusely at an old man's face), he says, "I would suggest only 12-year-olds could possibly find this funny, but I think that would be an insult to 12-year-olds everywhere."
  • It's for a Book: In The Amityville Haunting, a son tries justifying filming his distraught mother (who has just witnessed a mover fall down the stairs to his death) by claiming he's making a documentary, which immediately pisses Smeghead off and makes him wish that whatever paranormal presence is haunting the house roughs the son up a bit.
  • I Was Just Joking: When he made the joke that Jamie was having sex with her own brother in That's My Boy. He is rightfully disgusted by this once he's proven right.
  • Jaw Drop:
    • His reaction to Carlisle's death in Breaking Dawn: Part 2, considering it didn't happen in the books.
    • His reaction to his joking about Jamie having an affair with her brother actually being proven true in That's My Boy.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Jesus in the Spider-Man 3 review. While he shows absolutely no sympathy for Eddie, he does tell him that angsting and killing Peter will not change the fact that Gwen was never interested in him in the first place. He also points out that there are plenty of other women on the planet for Eddie to date if he wishes.
  • Kubrick Stare: His anger-fueled reaction to a completely pointless and obnoxious recreation of the Budweiser "Whassup?" commercial in That's My Boy.
  • Lampshade Hanging: In his Norm of the North review, he points out that the characters pointing out the ridiculousness of the film doesn't make it any less ridiculous.
  • Like Is, Like, a Comma: He points out Jubilee's excessive usage of this in The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure.
  • Like You Would Really Do It: In-Universe; in his Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 review, he is taken aback and outraged by the vampires/Volturi battle being revealed as All Just a Dream, and spends a lot of time venting about how much of a copout it is.
  • Meme Acknowledgement: invoked Deconstructed in his review of Birdemic 2: The Resurrection. In this example, James Nguyen replicating iconic scenes and elements from the first movie makes it hard to tell which scenes are meant to be funny and which ones are unintentionally funny, killing the joke.
  • Metalhead: Smeghead has been seen wearing shirts for Opeth, Dream Theater, Alice Cooper, Iron Maiden, In Flames, and admitted to liking "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister in his Rock of Ages vlog.
    • Occasionally, he would drop subtle references to heavy metal songs in his reviews and even referred to Krull as the "most metal movie" he's ever reviewed.
  • Military Brat: Sean's dad is a U.S. Navy veteran.
  • MST3K Mantra: In-Universe; Smeghead uses "it's a dream, it's not supposed to make sense" throughout the Sucker Punch review to cope with the more nonsensical parts of the film. At one point, he has a Freudian Slip moment, accidentally says "lazy writing" instead of "a dream", and quickly corrects himself.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: In his Breaking Dawn - Part 1 review, he tries to add excitement to a padding scene where Bella gets her wedding makeup applied by replacing all audio with the Indiana Jones theme.
  • Name McAdjective: During the Getaway review, the Selena Gomez character is renamed "Harpy McBitchface". In Birdemic, the hilariously bewigged nature nut becomes "Wiggy McTreehugger". Also there's "Toothy McJackass" from 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, to which Smeghead said was his favorite character despite the name.
  • Never Live It Down: In-universe example. He seriously will not let Sony and every other movie chain forget how they tried to ban/unrelease The Interview despite releasing other films such as Team America: World Police and the Red Dawn remake and not freaking out over North Korea's offended nature in his Die Another Day review.
  • The Nicknamer:
    • After having trouble keeping track of the names the four main characters of Never Back Down 2, he starts referring to them as "Boxer" (Zack), "Wrestler" (Mike), "BigMcLargeHuge" (Tim), and "Red Flag" (Justin). He even nicknames the movie's love interest Eve as "Skittles."
    • In addition, in Getaway, he calls the characters of The Voice and The Kid "Not Blofeld" and "Harpy McBitchface" respectively.
  • No One Could Survive That!: When a character gets into a predicament that would certainly result in their death, Smeghead often says something along the lines of "(Character) dies, the end!" and hastily leaves, only to grudgingly return and finish the rest of the review, as the character in fact survived somehow.
    "One of these days, that has to work!"
  • Oddball in the Series: The 97th episode is a quick overview of Sean's thoughts on Found Footage films in general.
  • Overly Narrow Superlative:
    The Fantastic Four review: "Welcome to Cinematic Excrement: the best show on YouTube called Cinematic Excrement!"
  • Parody Retcon: Invoked when he gives James Nguyen props for taking the high road and not doing this when Birdemic became infamous for being So Bad, It's Good. Unlike The Room, he respects Nguyen more for sticking by his original vision of what the project was, and even when it became a laughingstock, he didn't try and pretend it was intended all along.
  • Product Placement: Notes how gratuitous and unapologetically blatant it is in Meet the Spartans to the point that he suggests it should be called Meet the Sellouts.
  • A Rare Sentence:
    • He finds this to be the case when, after Bella uses a rock to draw just enough blood from her arm to distract a vampire in Eclipse, he says that she did something intelligent.
    • Also in Meet the Spartans when he says that Seltzer and Friedberg made a somewhat intelligent joke (by having a character named Councilman Traitoro, lampooning 300 for having characters that are very obviously villains from the moment you see them).
    • In The Amityville Haunting, he notes what is supposed to be the scene of a mover dead after falling down the stairs, although his head is nowhere near the puddle of ketchup-blood that apparently came from his head.
      Smeghead: I realize Asylum movies generally have two things working against them: money and time. But neither can excuse this level of incompetence! All the actor had to do was place his head in the ketchup. [beat] That sentence would sound really weird out of context.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Sean is an unapologetic fan of Jem, equipping him with enough personal experience to tear into its live action adaptation Jem and the Holograms. He explains that he was mostly interested in the science fiction aspects of the show, but nonetheless he has no illusions about how much he enjoyed watching it as a kid.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
    • Delivers a particularly blistering rant towards two certain characters in Breaking Dawn. For context: Jacob has invited Charlie to come see his daughter, Bella, who has recently been turned into a vampire. Edward is, of course, outraged, and starts laying into Jacob, asking him if he even considered the physical pain being in Charlie's presence will put Bella through, since being in a human's presence will only increase her vampiric thirst - like having 'a red hot poker shoved down her throat', in Edward's words. In any other setting with any other characters, we might just be on Bella and Edward's side. Here?
      Smeghead: Oh… oh, you glittery douche nozzle!!! 'The physical pain you'll put Bella through?' Fuck Bella! What about Charlie? what about the pain you're gonna put him through? The pain he's already been through? Did you ever think of that, you diseased heap of rat rectum??? This man has loved and cared for his daughter ever since she arrived in Forks; sure, he's not a perfect father - I don't think there is such a thing - but given the circumstances, I'd say he's done a damn good job. Not once have I doubted that he truly loves Bella and would do anything for her. And in exchange for his love, Bella has done nothing but treat him like absolute shit. Remember the time she up and left him with little warning in the first movie? Or the time she up and left him with no warning in the second? And now, after the last few weeks of putting the poor bastard through hell, while he worried about his daughter's health and well being: 'Sorry Charlie, your daughter has died at the ripe old age of eighteen and you will never see her again.' Imagine what that's going to do to the poor man?!?! And not just him; what about Bella's mother? And her stepfather? And her friends? You think they may just be a bit broken up by her passing?

      But no. They're apparently not the ones we should be concerned with. We should only be concerned with Bella. We should care about Bella's pain. Because that's pretty much been the theme for this entire saga, hasn't it? It's all about what Bella wants, it's all about what Bella thinks, Bella Bella Bella Bella can kiss my hairy white ass!!! After four movies unchange of this self-absorbed twat-waffle, constantly looking out for herself and ''screw'' anyone else, whining and bitching and moaning until she gets her way - and she always gets her way, because oh, god forbid the heroine should ever not get exactly what she wants without consequence, no, can't have that - after all of this, you, sir, have the balls, the BALLS, to suggest we should consider Bella's pain?

      You know what? Let me show you something. Take a look at this. (Shows empty hands)… What you see, right here, in my hands, is all the fucks I give about 'Bella's pain'! After everything she's done in this series, maybe that bitch could use a hot branding iron down the throat; I'll shove it down there myself if you let me! Fuck Bella, fuck her self-serving attitude, fuck everything she stands for, Team Mustache Dad for LIFE. …I think I almost burst a blood vessel.
    • A minor one but he gives a brutal one towards Sony in his Die Another Day review when he mentions their move on pulling The Interview from theaters because of North Korea's threats about it when other films got a free pass.
      Smeghead: Ah, remember the days when you could have a North Korean villain in a movie without having everyone completely losing their damn minds? My, how times have changed (shakes head). Yeah, I’m still a little pissed about what happened with The Interview, and I didn’t even like The Interview that much. But it was almost a year ago and… I should probably just let it go.

      Anyway, Zao takes a picture of Bond and — (record scratch noise) No, you know what? I'm not gonna let it go! Sony Pictures and all the movie theater chains that pulled The Interview should still be shamed for what they did! It was stupid, it was cowardly and it was complete horseshit!

      When Die Another Day came out in 2002, the North Korea government wasn’t happy about it, though let’s face it, they rarely have a reason to be happy nowadays, but no one was worried about any violent retaliation. And two years later, when Team America: World Police hit theaters with its very silly portrayal of Kim Jong-il, was there widespread panic and calls to ban the film? Was anyone worried about North Korean assassins trying to take out Trey Parker and Matt Stone? Hell no! Because that would be stupid! And in 2012, the Red Dawn remake portrayed the United States being invaded by North Korea. This was, of course, completely ridiculous, and it only happened because of a last-minute change; the invaders were originally going to be Chinese, but the studio ordered the change when they realized they could potentially lose a lot of money by alienating Chinese moviegoers, but again, no one was worried about any meaningful retaliation from North Korea. But some mysterious computer hackers get pissy about a couple of stoners making a stupid comedy about assassinating Kim Jong-un, and suddenly everyone in Hollywood considers North Korea a credible threat? Now they’re seriously worried about terrorist attacks on movie theaters by angry militants from Best Korea? Even when President Barack Obama himself told them they were overreacting!

      No way, I am not letting this go! No one should let this go! We should all remember just how stupid this was in order to ensure it does not happen again! Ever! (beat) I get the feeling I’ve gone off track here.
    • His Worst Movie of 2017 review has him deliver one to the Golden Raspberry Award nominations for "Worst Actor/Actress," feeling that the actors and actresses were good, just in bad movies.
    • His response to the creators of Last Ounce of Courage attempting to use the sacrifices of soldiers who died in combat to justify their anti-"War on Christmas" propaganda:
      Smeghead: Seriously, this is their justification for their actions. They are fighting back in the war on Christmas the men and women who have given their lives for this country. Fuck all of the way off. It's one thing to bitch and moan about the non-existent War on Christmas. It's stupid, but all you're doing is making yourselves look like fools and that's your problem. But once you start invoking that people who have paid the ultimate price in service of the United States of America just to prop up your stupid fucking persecution complex, that is where I draw the line. You do a disservice to all of the men and women who served this country by using their good names for such a worthless cause and for that, you should all hang your head in shame. Shame.
  • Review Ironic Echo: From his review of Norm of the North:
    Director: We'll fix the rest in post! Anything can be fixed in post! In one of my movies, I wrote the plot in post!
    Smeghead: Oh, was it this one?
  • Running Gag: He has a few of them:
    • Wire Jump of Doom™
    • The "Celebrities Who Needed A Paycheck" counter.invoked
    • Inserting random "more fitting" music to a scene, which is more often than not "Yakety Sax".
    • Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department
    • "Pointless Sex Scene", in which the words flash on screen and marching band music plays during the scene in question.
    • "This is bad comedy!"
    • "Because… reasons."
    • "It all starts *cut to the movie* IIIIIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE!!!"
    • He sometimes lampoons films' nonsensical plots by reading them out as Mad Libs.
    • Calling Happy Madison regular Peter Dante as "The guy who appears in all of Adam Sandler's movies, but no one knows who he is."
    • "NEW YORK CITY?!"
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He attempts this for some of his reviews, especially for some of the worst movies.
  • Serial Escalation: Notes the increase in main villain count within the original Batman film series, as Returns and Forever both had two (the Penguin and the Catwoman in the former, and Two-Face and the Riddler in the latter), while Batman & Robin had three (Poison Ivy, Bane, and Mr. Freeze).
    "Overkill much?"
  • Shouting Shooter: When noting an instance of this trope in a Rambo: First Blood Part II where Rambo screams while gunning Viet Cong soldiers down from a helicopter, he sarcastically states, "It's a little-known fact that screaming while you shoot makes the bullets fly faster."
  • Show, Don't Tell:
    • He sees this as the main takeaway of a scene from After Earth in which Kitai is characterized as a skilled student but a poor fighter through a verbal instructor report, although this information could've more intuitively been shown to the audience.
    • He also brings this up when making note of the overly subtle attitude The Book of Henry takes towards child abuse; while he understands it's a touchy subject, there is no actual evidence of the abuse shown other than a few offhand remarks about bruises, at one point driving Smeghead to believe there would be a reveal that there was no actual abuse.
  • Shown Their Work:
    • His dad is ex-navy, and Smeghead used his first-hand knowledge to explain why the protagonist of Battleship would never be able to enlist in the navy, let alone become a lieutenant, without a certain degree of Artistic License.
    • He also points out all the Sadly Mythtaken going on in Hercules in New York, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and The Legend of Hercules. The first one keeps using the names for Greek and Roman gods randomly (like calling Zeus "Zeus" but calling Poseidon "Neptune", not to mention having Samson, a BIBLICAL character, making a cameo), the second one uses Everybody Hates Hades (even though the book itself averted it) and has Persephone still in the Underworld during what's supposed to be her allotted time away, and the third one has several non-human beings (e.g. the centaur Chiron and the goddess Hebe) as humans, amongst other things.
    • Played for Laughs in the Last Ounce of Courage review where he claims to find one example of protests against a public Nativity scene. He cites a plausible sounding example... and then admits he made it up beacuse "the war on Christmas is not real!"
  • Shout-Out: Summing up his thoughts on The Fantastic Four, Smeghead talks about Marvel's attempt at preventing the film from reaching public knowledge and points out that if they let the film be released, it would've simply failed and be promptly forgotten rather than become the cult legend it is today. He caps it all off by shouting "Streisand Effect, bitches!"
  • Signing Off Catchphrase: Around 90% of the time, he ends videos with "Until then, I'm the Smeghead, and Hollywood can suck it."
  • Sound-Effect Bleep:
    • In Conan the Destroyer (Ep. 26), when talks about Blazing Saddles, he says about the overuse of the N-word (which is censored), to which he even recites the Seven Words You Can't Say On Television, uncensored.
    • Also in Never Back Down 2 (Ep. 40), he calls the racist Southern police officer Officer Cletus, instead of Officer H***y, to which he says he needs to fix it.
    • And, in Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day (Ep. 68), he remarks that a Mexican character doesn't like any words who has "s**c", to which he says he needs to fix it.
  • Spit Take: Invoked in his review of Birdemic 2: The Resurrection twice.
    • When Nathalie tells Rod "It's been a while since you went down on me." The first time the scene plays, Smeghead realizes he was completely unprepared; he grabs a cold water bottle, and asks for it to be replayed before taking a sip.
    • When the film shows how it wrote out Susan (one of the little kids from the original film; the other kid, Tony, returned in the sequel albeit briefly): she died from a disease contracted from the fish that Rod "cooked". Learning from his mistakes, he takes a sip before the first playing of the scene.
  • Springtime for Hitler: Brought up in his review of Birdemic 2: The Resurrection when it seems like James Nguyen is intentionally trying to evoke the awfulness of the original, which struck gold due to being unintentionally awful.
    "If you try to fail and you succeed, what did you really do?"
  • Squick:invoked If a moment is disturbing or gross enough, he will voice his disgust about it.
    • For both parts of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, he was not fond of Meyer making Jacob and Renesmee a couple, not just because of the large age difference, but because the idea that Jacob said that he would be anything for Renesmee, including a brother.
    • In his review of Transformers: Age of Extinction, he shows disgust at the movie for sexualizing a 17-year-old girl.
    • In his review of Norm of the North, he hates the Toilet Humor used by the Lemmings.
    Oh good, I was hoping we'd get a fart joke! Fart jokes are my favorite! Oh look, they're peeing! And that's it! And they're doing it again! Is it funny yet?
  • The Stinger: Most reviews have a short after-credits scene, usually Sean flubbing a line or a repeat of a funny scene from the movie.
  • Stupid Sexy Flanders: Sean admits to finding Jace hot while mentioning that he is heterosexual without missing a beat.
  • Subverted Catchphrase: He ends the After Earth review with a variant of his usual Signing Off Catchphrase:
    "But until then, I'm the Smeghead, and if it allows us to avoid more movies like this one, I for one welcome the coming apocalypse."
  • Suicide as Comedy: This used to be part of his brand of humor, mainly for his reviews of the Twilight movies. He once asked his Magic Sarcastic Ball if the director of the first film would "off herself for the greater good" and asked if Bella would just slit her wrists rather than mope over Edward leaving her in an overly wangsty manner.
  • Take That!:
    • From his Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief review:
      Oh, God, you're being sucked into a Lady Gaga music video! Run! Run for your lives!
    • In Batman & Robin, when Poison Ivy states that the millions of potential casualties that would result from her initial proposal for Wayne Enterprises to be more eco-friendly are "acceptable losses", Smeghead asks if she has considered a job in politics, seeing as she'd fit right in.
    • In his Lady in the Water review, Smeghead tops off his description of M. Night Shyamalan as an egotist who believes that anyone who doesn't praise his genius is either unintelligent or has an ulterior motive by saying, "It's a wonder he hasn't run for president."
    • In the credits for his Plan 9 from Outer Space review (the 100th episode) he thanks Channel Awesome for not hiring him. Keep in mind that the review was released in later March 2018, right in the middle of the company's controversy.
    • In his review of Jupiter Ascending, Sean at one point compares a scene to a DMV from Hell, before stopping for moment to think over what he just said and throwing his trademark "Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department™" caption.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: Discussed in his That's My Boy review, primarily since he has no idea how a teacher could ever reciprocate the attraction of one of their students because teenage boys are disgusting and stupid. He uses both his past as a disgusting and stupid teenage boy and his never outgrowing those traits as an adult as evidence.
  • Tempting Fate:
    • In That's My Boy (Ep. 41), he jokes that Jamie will be caught having sex with her own brother. Guess who Donny catches having sex with Jamie?
    • "Thank God they didn't make the Thing CG."
  • This Is Gonna Suck: At the end of his X-Men Origins: Wolverine review, he checks to see what won Worst Picture and when he sees what won, he gives this reaction as he realizes that is his next review.
  • Title Drop: In some of his early reviews such as Twilight and Never Back Down, he does this to describe what the movies are like.
  • Unusual Euphemism: In his Cutthroat Island review, Captain Long John Thomas notes that the film starts with Geena Davis' character having just finished having sex with a random man, to which he voices his jealousy and says, "I would swab that woman's deck any day."
  • Up to Eleven: Smeghead says that one particularly ridiculous action scene in Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever cranks the stupid up to this level.
  • Viewers Are Morons:
    • He judges Meet the Spartans extensively for its repeated breaking of the Don't Explain the Joke rule by stating the origins of film references.
    • At the start of the episode on Getaway, Smeghead notes how his attempt at the end of the previous episode to give a hint of the next episode's movie ("We're going to look at a movie that needs to get away. Far, far away.") flew over people's heads. In particular, he noted that people actually took the "far, far away" part instead to assume that he would be riffing on a Shrek or Star Wars movie.
  • Waxing Lyrical: When introducing Under the Cherry Moon, Smeghead quotes the film star Prince's song "Let's Go Crazy", points out how predictable the reference is, but defensively says that he's practically legally obligated to reference the song when discussing Prince.
    "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called...Under the Cherry Moon."
  • What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: Invoked; His thoughts on The Cat in the Hat. He even made an "Inappropriate Joke" counter to keep track of how "adult" the writing was.
  • What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?: Invoked; While watching Kiara the Brave and encountering a particularly bizarre scene, he wonders whether India (the country the film was made in) is addicted to cocaine.
  • A Wizard Did It: Invoked word-for-word in his analysis video of found footage movies. The only feasible explanation he can find for how the footage in Apollo 18 was recovered (considering the film takes place in space, and the cameras would've never made it back down to Earth).
    "That's a problem."
  • You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!:

"I'm the Smeghead, and TV Tropes can suck it."
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