Behold, the funniest French video game reviewer.
- Sword of Sodan on Sega Genesis.
- JdG: I'm stuck, I can't move. That's it. In my ass. 'Sword of Sodan'? More like 'Sword of Sodomy'...
- The episode ends with him burying the cartridge with the Seven Dwarfs' song playing.
- From the Total Recall review.
- Calling the enemies (the pink midgets that jumps like ninjas) "pygmés pakistanais roses" (pink pakistani pygmees)
- Upon reaching the walls with things coming out of the walls, the familiar tune Ding ding dong plays again.JdG: Hehehe. I...I have an idea what those are, but I heard that there are kids watching.
- The boss fight against the King of the Hobos, using a glitch in the A.I. and an appropriate tune.JdG: The ultimate showdown between a hobo and an autist.
- Amélie Poulain: Montmartre Killing Spree.
- In his Ultraman review:
- "Gudis, 120,000 tons! Well, damn, pal, this is about 12 times the weight of the Eiffel Tower!"
- "Oh, what the fuck is that? I'm chased by a walking Big Mac?!"
- About Jurassic Park: Trespasser: "Why, among three billion women, the only one who happened to land on the island is a nutcase who keeps hearing voices and has fucking Chelsea buns for hands???"
- The whole intro of the Batman & Robin review:JdG: [with a The Dark Knight Trilogy Batman voice] I remember that day. That movie. This is where everything began. I had never seen such a piece of crap! [shot of the cinema screen showing an advertising for a movie titled "Such a Piece of Crap"] But I digress, for the worst in that evening was still the movie. It was horrigeous. I couldn't belisten my eyes... or something like that. And in their madness, a game was created with that movie! This was the day I decided to become a legend, a symbol for society, and to have an exaggeratedly deep voice! *cough* I became... er.... [various animals, including a spider, ducks and a wolf pass; eventually he seems to decides himself] I am... DUCK-MAN! The retro video game reviewer!
- The dubbing of the dying scorpion, in the Excalibur 2555 A.D. review.
- When addressing the problem that the speed in Road Runner's Death Valley Rally forces you to go slowly, which goes completely against the idea of the Road Runner character, he imagines a Mario game where you can't jump without dying:[imagines Mario jumping and hurting himself]
Mario: Mamma Mia, I broke my leg!
Luigi: Mamma Mia, Mario, you fell down! Here, take this mushroom!
Mario: But I don't want a mushroom, you asshole, I broke my fucking leg! Go get me a doctor!
JdG: Well, that would be pretty original...
- JdG puts in a game. The Infogrames logo appears. JdG emits a brief girly shriek.
- His own abridged version of Yu-Gi-Oh!.Kaiba: It's over, Yugi! You cannot beat me! Your deck contains at least 1500 cards, statistically you have no chance to draw the card that can- (Yugi draws) oh go fuck yourself.
- His parody of what a typical episode of Pokémon is like, with One Piece figurines as the characters, Godzilla as Pikachu, and a potato as the Pokémon that Team Rocket is trying to steal. It gets even funnier when Fridge Brilliance kicks in and you realize who "plays" who: Luffy is Ash, Nami is Misty, Sanji is Brock, and Robin, a former villain, is a Team Rocket member.
- The Sustained Misunderstanding from the Platoon review, where he read it as Platon. Then this happens.Seb/Plato: Time is the moving image of unmoving eternity.
[aims a shotgun at the screen]
JdG: Plato: Philosophy IN YOUR FACE.
- From the James Bond Jr. video, he explains how awesome the My Little Pony game on GBA is, like going around talking to ponies, dressing up your pony so you can pimp her out on the sidewalks of the Rainbow City, keep a caterpillar in the air as long as you can... then he snaps out of it.
- After explaining that the point of the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality was to prevent anybody from creating crappy or weird-ass games, he cuts to the 8-bit porn game Custer's Revenge and quips "Can't wait for the Kinect remake".
- The episode about RPGs:
- The intro, which gives us a hilarious parody of the Skyrim trailer:Old Wise Man's offscreen voice: The crappy games are already here. The legend told of their return. They could destroy the world... but there is one they fear; his foul language already defeated many games. His name is Joueur du Grenier; Swearborn!
JdG: [dressed like the Dragonborn, screaming like if he was shouting] SON OF A BITCH!
- "You have a long quest before you, Swearborn, but now I will keep repeating the same line over and over each time you talk to me until you have done it."
- Seb, dressed as a smith, complains that he lost his only hammer... While holding one, and wearing a toolbelt full of hammers. Even better, when JdG does the (implied to be incredibly hard) quest to get the hammer back, the reward turns out to be... a hammer.
- And then, when JdG comes back to the temple having finished the main quest, the Greybeards' reward for him is... a hammer. Cue Grenier slapping their leader out of frustration.
- In general, the portrayal of the Greybeards as Trolls who send Grenier on various painful quests playing crappy RPG games for the sake of mocking him while they spend their time "meditating" (read: dancing and possibly having implied sex with beautiful women) in the temple.Lead Greybeard: Sorry, gotta go, I have a strong need to... uuuh... meditate.
- The intro, which gives us a hilarious parody of the Skyrim trailer:
- The Captain Planet review starts with a echoey woman's voice saying, "It all started when the five Great rings were forged" set to The Lord of the Rings music. "One was given to the gingers, whose freckles were only equalled by their lack of souls. One was given to the race of the blonde bimboes, evil creatures who—" *Record Needle Scratch*
- During the review of Toilet Tycoon (in which you can build golden or emerald toilet bowls with silk or mink fur toilet paper):JdG: Argh, it's cold... Ouch, I just cut myself with the emerald toilets! Yuck, the paper is full of hairs, it's gross!
- The Disney games review:
- All of the songs are hilariously silly.
- Shortly after one of these, there's a Shout-Out to The Lion King:Seb: You see Grenier, everything that basks in the light will be yours, one day.
JdG: [beat] No shit, that's my house.
Seb: One day, it will be yours.
- In the Beauty and the Beast video game, he mentions that to go to a section you have to charm Gaston to do the job for you. Or has he put it, playing the tease, leading to that:JdG: This generation of whores is brought to you by Disney.
Girl: I'm a princess, bitch.
- From the Anti-Terror Force review:
- There's his reaction to the oddly unfitting Game Over theme, which could totally work as a segue theme in girly shows like Hélène et les Garçons.
- On the topic of unfitting music, he also mentions how strange it is that the music, on top of that, changes randomly whenever the player shoots an enemy, which leads to a parody of a commercial for MAIF (a French insurance company).
- Earlier, after encountering a strange glitch:JdG: Whoa, shit, my arms went on their own, I guess I wasn't supposed to move during the cutscene. Sorry, my bad!
- Very early into the video, JdG talks with a villain played by Doug Walker over the phone. When the villain asks if JdG remembers what happened six episodes ago, and JdG answers that he doesn't, the villain replies, "Well then, I'll remember it... so you don't have to!" Both them and Seb then wink repeatedly at the camera, until Doug tell JDG to stop.
- The Stinger to the video: a random dance number with JdG, Seb, Doug Walker, and several French youtubers.
- From the game sequels episode:
- When discussing how Alex Kidd in High-Tech World has nothing to do with its predecessors, he says that it would be like putting Kratos in a Professor Layton game. Cue still-shots of Kratos winning a puzzle in the same manner as in a Layton game, complete with grunting at the end.
- Later, as he mentions how ridiculous it is to get a Game Over by simply putting on a piece of armor, he imagines himself putting on the Pegasus armor Saint Seiya-style, before falling flat on his face because of its weight.
- When he remembers how he got Alex Kidd in High-Tech World, it cuts to a flashback where he is given the game by The Grim Reaper himself. After he leaves, he stays silent for a while, then says "Sweet, a free game!"
- From the second Fighting Games episode:
- About Street Fighter...JdG: On the other hand, against another player, once you have mastered the Hadoken technique, well, it's fine, you've won, because every hit takes away half of the lifebar.
Of course, when I say "mastered", in truth I mean: "when by sheer luck you manage to pull out one after having sexually assaulted your cabinet for several minutes."
[shows Seb doing exactly that]
JdG: At least, from the back it's what it looks like.
JdG: It's a voiceover, you're not supposed to have heard that.
Seb: Ah, okay.
- "Fighting your... kebab-selling clone from Namek."
- JdG imagining what Ken Bogard would be like if commenting Street Fighter I.Ken Bogard: And it starts, Tiger Knee and then... end.
- The whole Panty Fighter segment:
Dorian: What? I'm going home, it's raining outside!
- "Warning: the next few minutes feature scantily-clad women, so the next ten seconds will be of me eating applesauce so young children and feminists can leave. (beat, doing exactly that) You're still here, aren't you? Let's continues then."
- I wonder how they did the ads for this game. "Do you like tuning music? Do you like tits? Do you like Greek Mythology? Then Bikini Karate Babes is made for you!"
- Suggestive noises can be heard, like a rapid "flapping" sound (Seb making dollar bills really fast) or zippers (Dorian zipping up his coat).
Usul: You're leaving too, Karim?
- Then another zipper is heard, and this time it's not a sweater (during the game where you fight with construction vehicles)...
Karim: Nooooooo... Antoine Daniel looks at him and simply nods with a grin
- This little exchange, as they're reviewing a game called "Fatman" in Japan :
- About Street Fighter...
- Superman 64, Aquaman and Batman Forever games review:
- This episode gives us the glorious return of Duck-Man, with Seb assuming the role of the Joker.Seb/Joker: You don't know pain!
JdG/Duck-Man: My parents are dead; a duck ate them.
Seb/Joker: That's not pain.
JdG/Duck-Man: It was a big duck.
- Duck-Man throwing a flurry of punches... at nothing in particular.
- Grenier summing up Batman Forever in two words:JdG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Temp: No, that's only one word...
JdG: Shut up, the temp. Shut up.
- Grenier getting progressively more excited:JdG: The year is 2003. You have a GameCube. Which superhero game would you like to play? Batman, the world's greatest detective, armed with his awesome gadgets against all his supervillains? Superman, the invincible flying Man of Steel, as powerful as a god!? Green Lantern, who can create anything through sheer willpower?!? The Flash, fastest man in the world, capable of vibrating his way through matter?! Wonder Woman, who is hot?! Or Aquaman. Who talks to fish. And is missing an arm.
- Batman and Robin synchronously swinging, set to the swing song from 2 Minutes du Peuple.JdG as Robin: Holy swing set, Batman, this is really amusing!
- This episode gives us the glorious return of Duck-Man, with Seb assuming the role of the Joker.
- The Home Alone game review:
- It starts with a scene where Seb runs to a con, and forgets to bring Fred (the eponymous Joueur du Grenier) along. Fred initially decides that he doesn't need any help or cameos to review games, and starts filming himself, while holding Seb's mike and headphones. He goes back on his word really quickly, and gets a talking sock named Jean-Louis to help him. Cut to Seb at the con, clutching his heart:Seb: Urgh, I suddenly feel terribly insulted... Oh, never mind, it's just a heart attack! [smiles as he falls over and passes out]
- While reviewing the NES game, he mentions the Unfortunate Implications with two grown men running after a little boy to people who haven't seen the film. He adds a scary music to the burglars actually catching up with Kevin, transitioning into the game's Game Over screen with a Big "NO!".JdG: [with an awkward, frozen smile] No, I'm not gonna make that joke.
Jean-Louis: Can I make it then?
- Though he does end up making one later, when he mentions how ridiculously fast the enemies are compared to the player:JdG: [with Psycho Strings] Run, kid! Run for your life! Run for your ass!
- It starts with a scene where Seb runs to a con, and forgets to bring Fred (the eponymous Joueur du Grenier) along. Fred initially decides that he doesn't need any help or cameos to review games, and starts filming himself, while holding Seb's mike and headphones. He goes back on his word really quickly, and gets a talking sock named Jean-Louis to help him. Cut to Seb at the con, clutching his heart:
- The second RPG episode:
- "Video game RPGs are obviously superior to pen-and-paper RPGs, due to not needing to learn the rules, or gather the players, or have friends..."
- Virtual Hydlide: "As fun to play as someone farting in your mouth in Slo Mo."
- Watch Fred fall apart as he realizes his character suffers an encumbrance penalty due to carrying too much gold. Then keeps dying of hunger. Then deal no damage due to not getting enough sleep. Sounds like your average Rogue Like, only someone got all proportions wrong when mixing the recipe.
- The LOTR game has a sequence where Artificial Stupidity is highlighted first by switching the music from the full-orchestral version of The Lord of the Rings theme to a kazoo cover, then with the incredibly apt "Entrance of the Gladiators".
- Wizard Seb trying to convince Bob Lennon to help Fred and him... by rubbing money all over his face.Bob: Mmmh, your magic is powerful, wizard. I'll help you.
[beat as Seb keeps rubbing money on Bob's face anyway]
Bob: Alright, you can stop no— [gets money shoved inside his mouth]
- The full roster presentation, with Karim Debbache as the thief.Karim: Yeah, but why am I the thief? Beat ...You know what, go fuck yourselves.
- The kicker at the end of the episode: the last shot of the whole team in costume... Including Karim wearing everyday clothes with his picture taped to the shot.
- Instruments of Chaos Starring... Young Indiana Jones review:
- Grenier's denial:JdG: And if you happen to be young and haven't seen [the Indiana Jones movies] yet, then just give up on this video and go watch them right now, I authorize you, it's really one of the best ever trilogies of cinema.
[Grenier fires a hand cannon]
JdG: You'll have to cut my balls with rusty shears drenched in vinegar before I'd admit that the fourth movie is part of the saga!
- The scorpion sound-effect guy (who will later be named "Jean-Michel Bruitage (sound-effect) makes a reappearance.
- "I'm still wondering which button does what and the game's already terraforming my asshole!"
- Grenier's denial:
- The Valentine's Day Episode / Special:
- The intentionnaly badly edited replacement of February for March.
- This porn games review lets you know what you're in for when the intro sequence has a girl and tentacles behind a tree.
- also in the intro you see a pokemon trainer with a potato yelling: "Potato use puree attack ! Potato use puree attack, god fucking damnit!"
- The various "bros" cutaways.
- The Brad Stallion game. JdG ends up having to take a Shower of Angst after part of the game involves screwing a sheep.
- JdG listing the titles of Commodore 64 porn games to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire", which abruptly ends when he's arrested by a cop just after saying that "sex is funnier when it involves animals."
- Takeshi's Challenge:
- The video is also a parody of various anime and manga tropes, so the intro and various sequences are done this way and are glorious to watch. A random guy making a dramatic gesture in goggles and a swimcap may cause you to lose your ability to breathe.
- The live-action scenes where Grenier beats the shit out of his family.
- The beat as the game freezes when "stare" is used.
- This quote near the end:JdG: I've killed my children, beat my wife, quit my job, fought yetis, skeletons, pirates, blue pizzas, pink scorpions, flying armadillos, will-o-wisps, but I will finish this piece of shit!
- The massive buildup as everyone encourages him to finally finish the game... and the A Winner Is You moment that follows... and the "you suck" message after it.
- Cool World games review:
- The extended HA HA HANo scene at the beginning about changing the intro.
- This analogy for non-standard control schemes:JdG: It's like ass-fucking your own cousin: technically it's not illegal, but you just don't do it.
- There is an enemy that requires precise timing and placement to defeat, which is made difficult by its tiny size. Fred finds a Giant Mook version, comments that at least this one is easier to hit... And it splits into four of the tiny ones.
- The Just Dance Bonus Stage that requires miming using a vacuum cleaner.
- "And, when it's full, you have to empty the pen (In French, "le pen" sounds exactly like the name of a notorious family of extreme right-wing politicians). (Beat). Okay, from now on, I'll say 'stylo'." (the French word for "pen"). Seconds later, "...so you have to empty your stylo... yep, that still sounds gross."
- When showing footage of the movie where Holli is atop a building dripping blood: "I'M ON MY PERIOD!"
- After failing to get John Connor to follow him, he realizes that, you have to activate an option in the pause menu to do so:John Connor: Oh Terminator, did you came to save me?
[cue fake credits]
- "So, you can find John Connor's address in the phone book (which makes sense) or in a 45-year-old biker's pocket (which also makes sense but is disgusting)."
- The smile on the Terminator after he find a mundane solution which would spare more than 2000 people lives.
- Realizing that you don't have to shoot civilians (which gets the mallcops to shoot you) despite walking around with a gun permanently out:I AM NOT DANGEROUS
- "Most movies about time travel tell you to watch out for the butterfly effect.... But here? FUCK DA FUTURE" (cue Stuff Blowing Up to the 1812 Overture)
- When young Fred is considering picking up the Genesis controller again, music from The Lord of the Rings plays, and black speech is heard... turns out it's Fred's dad (played by Fred) whispering from off-camera.
- After failing to get John Connor to follow him, he realizes that, you have to activate an option in the pause menu to do so:
- The Batman: Dark Tomorrow / X-Men (Nes) episode :
- The hurricane of bird-related puns at the start of the episode. After a while Fred-as-Duckman goes "okay, now that that's done..."
- Grenier having to shout his review of Spider-Man because of the atrociously loud music.
- The ending is a actually a multiple choice one, as a Riddler-knockoff tells Duckman and The Night Eagle (Duckman's new colleague) a riddle, and the viewer has to answer. The riddle itself is a callback to the running gag about Night Eagle's species. Pick "Golden Eagle" (the wrong answer) and Night Eagle will lecture you about the differences between the two species.note Pick "Bald Eagle" (the correct answer) and he'll read you poetry about the bird. However, let the video play without answering... And Fred will step up and answer Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet. Cue The Night Eagle making a lecture about the differences between the bald eagle and said French politician...
- At one point, Duckman and The Night Eagle end up in what actually is a laser tag game, and start fighting the Riddler's goons. No wait, something's wrong...The Riddler: What the hell are you doing, you maniacs! Those aren't my men, those are 8th-graders!
[Duckman and The Night Eagle keep on their rampage]
- "They decide to form an alliance which will have as a name the first letters of each country [Japan, Netherlands, United States]: JANUS." — Record Needle Scratch. Cue Seb as the representatives of the three countries looking at each others, with the Dutch one asking "Is it too late to change the name?"
- Fred is quite taken aback when he realizes the Big Bad of the game are Brazil, Korea and... Switzerland.JdG: But, Switzerland is supposed to be neutral!
Fred in a Tyrol disguise: Zis is vhat ve vanted you to believe! *cue mountaintops unfolding to launch missiles while tanks roll out of cottages, set to Hell March*
- "The combat is so stiff I wouldn't say it's been coded by someone with a broom up his ass but by the broom itself!"
- Fred complaining about how long it takes one of the female characters to deal with one of the enemies (which he calls a vacuum cleaner) since she should know how to handle one. *beat* Because she's an engineer.
- FMV Games:
- The Framing Device of the video is that it's a video game made by Mauvais Jeux Inc.JdG: Why make a video game out of my videos?
Seb CEO: Because we think your universe deserves to be expanded to a new medium, and it would be interesting to...
JdG: It's for the money, isn't it?
CEO: It's for the money.
- The CEO and his shareholders are (as usual) all played by Seb.JdG: I feel like you all look the same.
CEO: That's racist, sir.
- The last game is a Dating Sim:JdG: I'm not going to finish this game. At least, not on camera.
- His game over in the cop simulator where an old woman always kills his S.W.A.T. officer. And where your superior yells at you if you skip the cutscenes.
- And after the (unbearably long) training sessions, the cutscenes become flat out unskippable. JdG replies with triple-bird-flipping, before interrupting the superior's (once again unbearably long) briefing with this jaunty little tune.note
- The Framing Device of the video is that it's a video game made by Mauvais Jeux Inc.
- Beat them up:
- Fred plays a game called Ninja Clown and wonders what a real ninja clown looks like. Cut to a scene in a dojo where a clown dressed like a ninja sneaks up on another ninja and strangles him with an inflatable balloon.
- The intro is a parody of Emmet's morning routine... but twisted in a very mean-spirited way: upon waking up, JdG insults everything and everyone he meets (up to his roof and ceiling), eats cat food with long gone milk, goes in his car and changes the radio's station so he gets a song called "Everything Is Awful" ("Cool! My favourite song!"), drives to work while flipping the bird to everybody, and gets a ticket. All of this while sporting an epic shit-eating grin.
- The 6th-gen console games:
- It features his tutorial on how to play Drake of the 99 Dragons. Then switching to a Play of the Game video, playing "Die. DIE. DIE." while eliminating: a chandelier, a flowerpot, a glass ceiling, the guy standing on the glass ceiling, "enemy hit by sheer chance", "enemy I wasn't even aiming at", and "skill".
- Earlier in the video, he explains that he didn't get a PS2 because (angelic choir sings, Pillar of Light engulfs him) he'd already ascended to the PC then.
- The Famicom games episode :
- While playing Hana no Star Kaidou, he starts describing the various enemies in the game, such as bicycle-riding men, groupies... And then he stops when he sees that one is an incredibly racist caricature of a black man. A "dangerous joke" sign suddenly flies over him, missing his head by a few inches.JdG: Wow, I'm glad I dodged that one!
- Later, he actually reaches the end of the game... And the ending credits begin with "Show up you gays!". The "dangerous joke" sign once again misses him.
- The Sophisticated as Hell moment that show up when JdG tells us that, as he was playing Super Monkey Daibouken, he stumbled upon an easter egg taking the form of a hidden text written in Japanese that he got translated. Said message is then read with a smoothing voice by Seb, over a rather relaxing music, upon images of the "developer" who put the easter eggnote reading a book, cleaning his glasses, sipping a glass of wine... The message is about how the developer loves pussy and wants to have sex with perverted women.
- While playing Hana no Star Kaidou, he starts describing the various enemies in the game, such as bicycle-riding men, groupies... And then he stops when he sees that one is an incredibly racist caricature of a black man. A "dangerous joke" sign suddenly flies over him, missing his head by a few inches.
- The Pac-Man episode: The best joke award goes to the Sheik Point.Award winner: I want to thank the writing team, who didn't want to be here today.
- Daemon Summoner:
Grenier: Uh... Hey, honey?
- The episode's 1990s style opening credits, which use the melody of a 1990s French sitcom, Le Miel et les Abeilles (Honey and the Bees). Only this time it's a cover with farts.
- After his disappointment that the game isn't actually set in an open world, Grenier comments that at least, seeing how it's a modern game, it's unlikely they will have a boring Sewer level. Cue the very first level taking place in the Sewer, causing an annoyed groan from Grenier.
- Grenier's utter confusion about the bug preventing the vampire wife from moving during the chase, causing her stand right in front of your character doing nothing.
Grenier!Hunter: Oh my God, she is so fast! I will never be able to catch up with her!Vampire Wife: FUCKING MAGIC THAT DOESN'T WORK!
- At the end of the chase, the vampire wife jumps from building to bulding to escape the protagonist:
JdG as player character: Oh no, I fell down. And the ground is all wet.
- "I'd compare the knife to cancer, except cancer actually kills people!"
- The Running Gag of Not What It Looks Like, such as the vampire wife wiping her mouth as a Brazzers logo appears, the sound effects in the coffin room sounding like if two vampires are having sex inside the coffin, or the werewolf attack that looks suspiciously similar to an impromptu blowjob.
- "Black holes suck less ass than this game!"
- The Player Character being viewed as a Memetic Loser for getting his ass kicked as a "LEVEL COMPLETE" sign shows up.
- Even better, when this happens a second time, Grenier asks if this is gonna be like that every level. Cue a montage of every level ending with a similar situation, including one where the player character gets his ass kicked by a child.
Grenier: ... Okay?
- Grenier pointing out the absurdity of the level where you have to infiltrate the warehouse on the right to get to the boat on the left.
- After The Reveal the Big Bad of the game had a twin brother, Grenier explains how the two brothers now decides the best way to deal with the Player Character (who they have at their mercy) is to send him back to London to be thrown in an Asyleum inhabited by a werewolf and a watch-loving ghost along with his wife so she will devour him.
- Grenier warns us to get ready, announcing the werewolf's speed as a terrifying Jump Scare. Cue showing the actual point of the game, where the werewolf is just casually walking very slowly through the corridor.
- Grenier describes the elaborate series of quests you need to complete in order to eliminate the werewolf and acquire the bullets needed to kill your wife, then shows the writer of the game relieved he was able to finish it after three month. Cue Grenier revealing a Dungeon Bypass allowing you to one-shot your wife right at the beginning of the level with an oil lamp from your cell, prompting the writer to shoot himself.
- Harry Potter games:
Hagrid: Yer a hipster, Harry.
- Harry is now named Henry Potdebeurre (Harry Butterpot) who got his scar from falling on the windshield wipers that morning, while Benzaie introduces himself as Texas Granger. And then Hagrid shows up as a homeless man.
- Albus Humblebundledore: "Quiet, please! Quiet, please! ... SHADDUP!!!"
- Fred interprets Harry's smoking wand as an e-cigarette.
Fred: [...] Now you have to go get your money in a minecart-
- "What is that thing!? It looks like an STD come to life!"
- Grenier's reaction to Hagrid's fetch quest.Hagrid: I'm gonna drink Butterbeers while waiting for you.
JdG: Go fuck yourself.
- Bob Lennon as Gilderoy Lockhart just makes too much sense.
- During the bank scene:
Goblin: [...] teach you how to handle the minecart.
Fred: -sorry, in a minecart.
Professor: In short, magic sucks, it doesn't exist. Your wands are cheap plastic toys made in China and your spells are just CGI added in post-production, thanks After Effect. So fuck this, I'm out. (snaps his wand in two and leaves)
- "I vanquished Voldemort in the previous game, and here I'm getting wasted by a squash!"
- During the Mid-Review Sketch Show, one of the professors (played by Bruce Benamran, of coursenote ) is fed up with it.
Ron (during a tutorial where the player must use a spell for picking up shirts) : This would be easier without magic.Bruce : OF FUCKING COURSE, DAMMIT!!!
- His frustration hits its climax later in the video.
Snape: What's the difference between the Joueur du Grenier, and The Angry Video Game Nerd?
- Just after that, there's a parody of the scene where Snape (prof. Roguelike) quizzes Harry on the first day, ending with:
Henry: I... I don't know, sir.
Texas: We have Georges Tusséki as teacher.
- You-know-who isn't Voldemort but a teacher named Georges Tusséki (Yunowho) who wants to kill Henry because he ran over his mom this morning when Henry asks Texas if she was aware we sees flashbacks of her and Georges hammering it.
Georges: I'll kill you Potdebeurre, or my name is not Georges Tusséki
Texas:his first name is Georges, and his last name is Tusséki, remember that Henry.
Albus: Congrats, friends, congrats Xboxrin for stopping this murderer, for this 500 points for Xboxrin!
- Last but not least in the final scene of the movie, where Humblebundledore distributes the last points of the years for each house, demonstrating his blabant favoritism toward Nintendor.
All the Xborin: Yay! (meanwhile everyone else is unenthusiastically clapping)
One PCclaw: And... and PCclaw? What are our points?
Albus: DON'T KNOW. DIDN'T COUNT... Therefore, Xborin is clearly in the lead this year, with a total of 15,670 points! (clue another round of applause) Yes, congratulations, Xboxrin... HOOWEEEVEEER... For being wrong and her false accusation of a teacher, BUT for her throughout belied in her idea: 500 points for Texas Granger. And to Henry Butter, for his understanding of the plot and his successful hit-and-run: 500 points for Nintendor!
One Nintendor: We're almost ex-aequo with Xboxrin!
Albus: And finally, to the chick over there, because she's hot as fuck, and 'cause I do what I want, 10 BILLION POINTS FOR NINTENDOR!!!
(A giant fight between everyone erupts, Humblebumbledore giving the middle finger to the whole scene, and the staff watching in dismay. Finally the camera flies away through a window, cue the ending.)
- K2000 and Miami Vice:
Kit 2000: Hey Michael! You must let her go now.
- The intro is a spoof of old 80's buddy cop shows, with a bunch of puns based on French expressions used in the dubs of said shows. It's hilarious, in English.
- Grenier can't stop himself from talking about Hasselhoff's French song that sounds like he is kidnapping a 10 year old girl.
Michael: I can't go without her Kitt.
Grenier: Yes, listen to your car and let her go. Please?
Grenier in the flaming car: (weakly) Thanks.
- When he gets to the Kit 2000 game and fails due to how bad the driving mechanics is yet the game says he did a good job.
- Miami Vice has an arrest option that is done by shooting the criminal first and then asking him to surrender.
- The Miami Vice game has a mechanic that lets your partner revive you. At one point, the two characters are stuck in a loop of one of them dying, the other bringing him back up and dying, the first one revives the second one before dying again, etc. What follows?
Imagine Call Of Duty, but uglier, and you can't control your movements! *crowd goes wild*
- Grenier pitching the concept of the 2014 game (a rail shooter):
"We have a refusal to sign on route 3! Repeat, a refusal to sign on route 3! Requesting immediate reinforcements! (beat) SEND IN THE CHOPPERS AND THE NATIONAL GUARD RIGHT NOW!"
- The textures get reused a lot in the game, including the faces of two soldiers in the same cutscene and the Vietnamese enemies. Fred tries so very hard to avoid making it a Racial Face Blindness joke.
- A cop stops Grenier until he... signs a few cartridges for him. Then when the final one breaks his mind, he calls for backup:
Grenier: What the hell have you been smoking?!?
- Every weapon in the game, including the heavy machine gun, does less damage than the melee knife.
Dev: I'unno, I think it's cat fur and laundry soap.
Grenier!Rambo: Me Rambo. You vagina.
- On meeting Co Bao, you can ask two very important questions: "Where is the camp" and "What do you think about me?"
Grenier: So you're on a boat where your ally sold you out to a kebab stand owner and Saddam Hussein.
- "I'd like to save the kid, but the entire forest is trying to make love to my ass!"
- Typical Vietnam wildlife apparently includes fire-spitting snakes and flying skulls. Grenier looks awkward, picks up a Vietnam guidebook... and says that no, they really do have them.
- Seb shows up in order to convince the sheriff to call off the manhunt. As he describes Rambo's abilities, it becomes clear he's confused him with Superman.
- A pink flamingo turns up, the first animal that hasn't tried to kill him... then it lunges at Rambo with a beak full of teeth.
- "I say, fuck that little boy, right up the ass!" "And let me take back what I just said."
- It turns out the kid was kidnapped by a fire-spitting Giant Spider. Cut to a travel ad repeating "Vietnam" while showing pagodas, rice fields, giant spiders, and ending with "Vietnam: It sucks".
- Grenier rescues a prisoner by busting through the wall. While he was talking to him, the wall gets rebuilt, and one brick can only be killed by jumping and attacking, missing more often than not. He needs 2 yoga sessions to return to a state of calm. Then he says the game only gets more difficult past that point.
- The next sequence of the game replaces all the wildlife with Vietnamese soldiers during an bombing run (set to the finale of the 1812 verture). 93 yoga sessions later, Fred admits they used a cheat code to get to the ending:
Grenier: And I think this is the point where the scriptwriter fell asleep during the movie. It's rare enough to be mentioned, but the early game sticks to the movie pretty well: there's the boat, Rambo's rescue by Co Bao, etc. But towards the end, there's burning tigers, motorbikers in the POW camp, moon-shaped robots, levitating burning women, dudes in future armor, bosses whose heads swell up when you hit them...
- Co Bao passes herself as the general's wife, asking a soldier to give her the key, tie himself up, knock himself out and give her his weapon. The soldier happily complies then snaps his own neck.
- The game's finals levels:
Grenier: There are so many sprites onscreen my console is pissing vomit!
- A single endgame soldier takes 16 shots to die. And you get 12 of them at once, causing the sprites to glitch out. Or as he puts it:
- The game's ending: Rambo shots an ideogram at an allied soldier, who turns into a frog.
- The video's ending: Grenier is still being pursued by the sheriff:
- One of them steps on a rubber duck, which blows up.
- Grenier Neck Snap another... who then gets back up, overjoyed that he fixed his neck condition and runs off to start his life anew.
- The third gets his shoelaces tied together, falling off a cliff (an obvious mannequin taking his place) and blows up.
- The sheriff yells "Get out here, your camouflage skills don't scare me!" Grenier pulls down the green screen he was hiding behind.
- "Wait a second... isn't that a Superman line?" Grenier backs off, pulls off his glasses... and the next shot is of him (well, the mannequin) falling off the cliff.
- The stinger: Seb looking down at Grenier's coffin ("In the end, he was one hell of a dumbass"), which starts vibrating... because there's a guy on a tractor passing by.
- The Robin Hood games:
Mook: I'm just asking, guys, if we beat him up, is it anti-semitic?
- In the parody sketch, how does the Sheriff stop people from complaining about his taxes? By telling them he is just doing what every politician does, which the people admit is true.
- "I don't have to listen to someone who plays Fortnite!"
- Fred poking fun at the accusations of racism as much as he can, first by tossing away a book written in Arabic with a horrified look on his face note and having Brother Tuck played by a man in a rabbi costume.
"Rabbi" Tuck: Hurry up guys, my mental confusion spell won't hold much longer!
- The Sheriff's plan to capture Robin... which consists of hiding himself inside the safe Robin is trying to steal.
- The defeat of the Sheriff. Robin Hood dramatically tells him that his quinquennium of terror is over and that now he'll have to... make reforms! The Sheriff screams a Big "NO!" and is then implied to die of a heart attack.
- Fort Boyard:
- Seb's creeptastic Fougasse mask.
- The contestants introducing themselves:
- Florence is a waterslide tester and collects beer mats. Which she then starts listing.
- Jean-Yves claims he's the regional Beyblade champion, then admits he's only the runner-up to Loic (a Call-Back to the earlier Beyblades sketch).
- Richard drops "I'm a volunteer firefighter and an FN voter", which causes the music to stop abruptly (the FN being the main far right party in France). He gets angry and demands to know if they have a problem with firefighters.
- Fred introduces himself as having to be there because it's his show, complete with "I hate my life" closeup.
- Jean-Yves keeps asking Fougasse to give him the riddle instead of introducing Fort Boyard spinoffs.Fougasse: Shut up! I'm talking to my hallucinations!
- Fred's comment on the GBC adaptation:JdG: I wish they'd spent more energy on gameplay than finding a way to make the chick's boobs bounce!
- Cut to Fred watching the screen intently as boinging noises play, then telling Seb he'll get back to the show... in five minutes.
- One of the FMV sequences involves a woman suggestively rubbing a soda bottle.FMV director: Remember, you're a huge slut! Just like my ex-wife!
- The hideously racist Dummied Out sequence with a Chinese sailor.JdG: Okay, this is going to sound horrible, but... thank god there weren't any black people in the game!
- Richard, already established as being a far-right voter and an idiot, also slaps his (pregnant) wife, who's been attacked by wild animals due to the host sending her through the wrong door. He then shoots himself because he misunderstood the rules.
- Fred using Richard's corpse to carry coins.
- At the end of the video, the host takes the coins and runs, leaving the others stuck on the island with a lonely Fougasse.
- One of the FMV sequences involves a woman suggestively rubbing a soda bottle.
- Ecco the Dolphin:
- Grenier explaining how insanely hard the puzzles of the game can be.Grenier: Do you like puzzles?
Grenier: Do you like puzzles?
Grenier: [bashes his head with a dictionary] Do you like puzzles?
- The Reveal that the game was based heavily on the ideas of a junkie scientist who thinks the Earth is controlled by aliens and was known for having sex with dolphins. Fred breaks into a song with the refrain of "Don't buttfuck dolphins".
- Grenier explaining how insanely hard the puzzles of the game can be.
- Enter the Matrix:
- Because of the awful controls during the car sections, Fred sarcastically wonders if the wheels are square. Turns out
they actually are.Grenier: Okay, I guess I can leave, the game does the jokes for me!
- The ending sequence seems to be heading towards a Multiple Endings choice, like in the second comic book video, when two doors appear before Sebs points out that annotations no longer work on Youtube, much to Fred's annoyance.
- Because of the awful controls during the car sections, Fred sarcastically wonders if the wheels are square. Turns out they actually are.
- The Fifth Element and Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero:
- Raiden shows up and introduces himself as the god of thunder. Fred excitedly asks if this means he's an Avenger now and asks if he can be Batman.
- Scorpion sitting in the back of a car and staring blankly ahead is just disturbingly funny.
- Raiden and Shang Tsung being on good terms and acting as anchormen to the dual between Subzero and Grenier.
Shang Tsung: And they call me the Lord of Evil...
- Later, Shang Tsung attempts to make a commercial break... which ends immediately because every viewer is using Adblock. Made even more ironic by the fact the video itself is sponsored and starts with a commercial skit.
Fred: Did I win or not?
- After Fred's fatality on Sub-Zero Shang Tsung freaks out as it was a video game competition.
Raiden: Technically yes, but we might want to hurry up and leave.
- Fred's Indulgent Fantasy Segue where he goes Kitchen Nightmares on crappy game devs.
- Several enemies accidentally kill themselves by backflipping off platforms or get pushed off by Fred. Accompanied by the Goofy yell every time.
- Dragons Lair The Legend:
- The video starts strong with the "sponsored by" message at the start, which mixes a parody Product as Superhero commercial with actually advertising the product.
- Sorina's hand pointing out the details according to the voiceover starts pointing at other things like a roll of tape and a submachine gun. Then when showing the contrast dial which allows you to make the screen completely blank, cut to Sorina with a baffled expression.note
- When mentioning multiplayer, the vid shows a flashback to young Grenier playing Tetris on his Gameboy.JDG: Ah la la, time passed since the days we were playing this...
(flashback) Young Grenier: Ah, can't wait to see which games we'll play in 30 years!
(cut to "30 years later", adult JDG playing Tetris 99 on his Switch)
- While explaining the backstory to the game, the video shows scenes from the other games... as well as from the intro cutscene of Dawn of War where a Space Marine fights orks (caption: image possibly out of context) and the The Legend of Zelda cartoon (caption: no we totally didn't copy Zelda for the stone fragments idea).
- Fred repeatedly pointing out there are 194 Plot Coupons to pick up. And for the 2-player version, 388.
- At the start of the video game cartoons special, he mentions how he didn't have time to cover every cartoon/anime he knew in his previous special, like The Animals of Farthing Wood; however, his description of it is interrupted by a brutal cut to the hedgehogs' deaths, run over by a truck (albeit edited to be much gorier). He then looks at the camera with a shocked and speechless expression.
- The girly cartoons special:
- His reaction to Hashizo from Ai Shite Night getting slapped is hilarious. The whole fucking world rejoices.
- A little while later, when he finds out that this same manga got a live-action adaptation in Italy:JdG: My god... Oh my god... What have we done? [empties a jerrycan of gasoline all over himself]
Seb: Hey, wait, don't you still have a few cartoons left to review?
JdG: What's the next one?
Seb: Um, I think it's Lady Georgie!
JdG: [frantically tries to light up a match]
- "So, you take the four pinkest and cutest anime ever, what would happen?" Answer: Tentacles! "JAAAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"
- There's a ton in his boys' shows special, but to name a few:
- There's "Colissimo no Densetsu", a fake anime about mail delivering that parodies some Shonen animes' tendency to overexaggerate mundane stuff. It gets funnier in hindsight when you realize a manga about mail delivering actually does exist!
- There's also his reaction to the Sudden Downer Ending of the first season of Magical Princess Minky Momo, especially the morbidly funny version of the anime's French theme song, played right after the main character is run over.
- He also mocks an over-the-top scene in Mister Ajikko by making the main character's meal so delicious it actually summons Shenron.Shenron: [in an ominous voice] Who just cooked a kickass meal?
- As he's introducing the subject of the video...JdG: In short, you get the point, after the girls' shows special, it's time for the boys' shows special.
Seb: You mean Hentais?
[cut to a rather risqué clip involving a girl getting assaulted and screaming all the way]note
JdG: [without changing his facial expression] Erm, no.
- When mentioning how irresponsible the M.A.S.K. agents are for basically dropping whatever they're doing on the spot whenever they are summoned, they cut to a fake clip featuring a firefighter in the middle of saving people. The firefighter instantly drops the person he's saving and leaves as soon as he gets the alert. It's made even better by the famous Wilhelm scream.
- As he notes that the G.I. Joe cartoon can be pretty stupid at times, he cuts to a clip of the actual show, showing the team making themselves a makeshift spacesuit with plastic trash bags, a fish bowl, and cans of soda for propulsion. He then quips:JdG: Tomorrow kids, with a plastic lung, some semi-thick whipped cream and a VHS tape of Speed 2, we will travel through time!
- From the superheroes special:
- On Captain Planet's Very Special Episode about drugs, after the blonde girl's cousin slips drugs in her taco:
- After watching the Japanese TV adaptation of Spider-Man, JdG is so pissed and annoyed that instead of summing it up, he goes outside and slaps a young Japanese woman.
- During the Batman: The Movie review, the bat-ladder scene (at 12:49):JdG: They decide to jump on [the boat] using the ladder that—
Seb: No! The bat-ladder.
JdG: It's only a ladder as you can plainly see. [close-up on the "bat ladder" label]
[JdG is speechless as Seb nods]
- Then there's the reaction to the stupid and... strange way Batman and Robin were saved from an incoming torpedo at sea: a porpoise got in its way and was killed instead of the heroes, all of that offscreen. Everybody is horrified, including the scriptwriter, who shoots himself.JdG: Back to the shore, Batman phones the admiral to know if he has sold a submarine recently. [beat] A porpoise?!
- The increasingly stupid Bat Deductions that cause Batman to drop in rank from the best detective in the world to a worse detective than Columbo, Inspector Gadget, and even Scooby-Doo.
- From the sports cartoons special:
- As he's talking about Attacker You!, he mentions how the main character, though remembered as a cute young girl, is actually a Jerkass. When she harshly and loudly reminds her adopted six-year old brother that they're not really siblings...JdG: I am not your sister! Your parents are dead, you got that?! Because of you!
- At the end of the episode, he mentions that she does have a redeeming quality: she stood up against her coach and his abusive manners to protect the other girls in the team, which means she's not so bad after all.... Cut to a clip of her threatening to drop her brother from high atop a building, to persuade him to learn how to swim.JdG: All right, never mind, she's a bitch.
- As he's talking about Attacker You!, he mentions how the main character, though remembered as a cute young girl, is actually a Jerkass. When she harshly and loudly reminds her adopted six-year old brother that they're not really siblings...
- The second FAQ video:
- There's a blooper where a cat is heard meowing during a take. He rolls with it.JdG: Shut up, the temp. Shut up.
JdG: [exact same tone] Shut up, the cat. Shut up.
- The whole episode has him answering weird and/or stupid questions in equally weird and/or stupid ways. When someone asks him what the best kebab joint near JdG's house is, he responds by doing an elaborate and cheesy spoof commercial for his favorite local fast food, complete with techno music in the background.
- Later, someone asks him when's dinner. Cut to a grinning JdG pulling a kebab out of nowhere while the same techno music plays.
- There's a blooper where a cat is heard meowing during a take. He rolls with it.
- From the TV commercials special:
- The whole part where JdG is breaking down from a commercial where two men are singing about giving a "certain surprise" to one of the men's wife. Starting with the reveal of the "certain surprise".JdG: Alright, just for a moment. What do you think this ad is talking about? What will he pull out of his desk? A jewel? Clothes? Perfume? A noodle necklace?
[the man pulls out toilet paper, they continue singing]
[the screen goes back to a panicked JdG, with the words "WARNING SHADY GUY" blinking while an alarm is blaring]
- The part where he is imagining giving TP to his girlfriend.JdG: Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.
JdG's girlfriend: This is nice! I love taking a shit!
- And the breakdown itself.JdG: Dammit, stop talking about your wives' shit, especially you Clark Kent, I don't know you but you don't have a wife and if you did, you look like the guy who killed her and ate her! And then, I don't know your wives and the last thing I want is imagining my girlfriend taking a dump and... for fuck's sake, stop trying to make a musical about something which main use is to wipe your ass with!
- Also, this little bit of Toilet Humour:Commercial Guy 1: I have heard that you received a new one?note
Commercial Guy 2: Yes, my wife is trying it right now!
Commercial Guy 2's wife (Off-Screen): Yeah, it works a charm! [loud farting/diarrhea noises] Holy shit, this stinks! [giggles]
- When mentioning how the Santa's Hotline number in France kept changing, he wonders why and tries to call him...Santa: Ho ho ho, hi there, this is Santa Claus! I'm in the North Pole, but I can't talk to you for too long, because those bad guys at the FBI will triangulate my positio—
[police sirens and helicopter sounds]
Santa: Go fuck yourselves already! You'll never get me alive, ya assholes! And hands off my sleigh!
[we hear him cocking and shooting with a shotgun, then laughing again]
- The entirety of the Super Moses commercial. Complete with Large Ham announcer, bad dialogue, and horrible, horrible puns.Je vais ouvrir ta mer en deux! (Gonna split your sea/your mother in half!)
Tu vas en bouffer, de la terre promise! (You're gonna bite the promised dust!)
Le plus grand de tous les Hébreux! (the greatest Hebrew of them all!)
- The whole part where JdG is breaking down from a commercial where two men are singing about giving a "certain surprise" to one of the men's wife. Starting with the reveal of the "certain surprise".
- When the TMNT concert goes "backstage", he notes that the guitar has only one note and the others are making random movements with their instruments... and proceeds to demonstrate what it would actually sound like.
- The video announcing their second channel ends with them asking you to subscribe, playing the "Twelve Days" song from the Turtles special until you do. Then other links pop up: "Meet girls in your area" (Fred in a Hakune Mitsu wig), "Increase your Penis" (Robotnik), and "Free Money". The final line as they get increasingly exasperated is "Will you click already!?!"
- The "toy-advertising series" special :
- After saying he likes Bakuten Shoot Beyblade's opening, he starts singing his own version... With lyrics like "BUY! MY CRAP!" in the chorus.
- He's pretty annoyed by the tendencies bad guys have in such series to run away after losing a match to the heroes, even if they could easily physically subdue them.JdG/Hero: Ha! I've beaten you! You can't do anything now!
Seb/Bad Guy: [pulls out a switchblade]
JdG/Hero: Oh. Right. You can do that.
- Later there is a scene where the bad guy's goons are pointing spinning tops at the protagonist like they were about to shoot him with Beyblades. He simply stares with a "really?" face at the screen.
- JdG casually mentions that during their duel, a dragon and a phoenix pulled themselves out of the hero's and his rival's tops. He doesn't comment on it, just continues with his review and mock another scene that happens later, and THEN finally reacts to this.
- On the ridiculousness of massive tadiums filled to capacity to watch two kids playing tops.
- When discussing Jem and the Holograms, he's absolutely shocked that the heroin reacts so casually to the creepy hologram which just materialized in her room and told her to follow her.JdG: [leaning towards the camera] SHOULDN'T YOU ASK YOURSELF A FEW QUESTIONS!?
- This leads to a skit where the Grim Reaper comes claiming Jerrica's soul... Who just shrugs and cheerfully proclaims "well, what are we waiting for?"
- The drama/live action special :
- Fred is absolutely amazed by the bad guy from The Prince of Tennis drama, more especially his ability to make every girl around him shut up just by snapping his fingers. He tries to do the same with his girlfriend, who's in the middle of a rant about him not doing the dishes. It doesn't work.
- The other Card-Carrying Villain purposefully hurting the hero's legs.Referee Seb: So, I checked the rule...
- The Sailor Moon drama starts with Artemis dropping on Minako and turning her into Sailor V, which the young girl takes in very broad strikes. Fred then quips "So, of course, no questions shall be asked..." — a very, VERY long list of questions blares through the screen at high speed:''Is that an alien? Should I run? How can a cat talk? Why isn't its mouth moving while it was talking? What was I doing alone on a roof on Christmas Eve? Why a sailor suit? I'm 23. Why is that skirt so short? I'm cold now! Why must I run after criminals? Why must I run after criminals in high heels? That's impractical! Is that black magic? Am I drunk or did Uncle Henry drug me again? Is it a male or a female?note If it's a male, does this mean it posed its balls on my face?note
- Usagi decides to help her friends by... throwing a fire extinguisher at the bad guy. This leads Fred to wonder why did Sailor Moon never used some mundane solution to her problems more often.Sorina-chan/Sailor Moon: You've been really bad! So, in the name of the Moon, I will [pulls out a gun, suddenly takes a gravelly voice] kill you.
- As the bad guys perform a magic trick on Usagi, one of the henchwoman suddenly pulls out a radish which has a... Very interesting shape. Of course, Fred slaps the Brazzers logo on the still shot.
- And as Usagi keeps the radish all throughout the following scene, Fred constantly asks her to drop it, culminating with "The fight is over! Drop that radish now, what do you even want to do with it — DON'T ANSWER THAT."
- Usagi receives her magic items, one of which is a long, cylindrical object. We hear vibrating as soon as it's off-camera... and Fred picks up his phone.
- Dragon Ball Evolution:
- Mocking the High School setting as a student having to explain what causes an eclipse.Seb as teacher: That's good Jonathan, let's applaud him, here you earned a gold star.
- Later, he's baffled by the film's decision to add unnecessary moves to the kamehameha, despite the original pose being very simple and very iconic. He illustrates his rant with a skit featuring him as Vegeta, charging up his Final Flash... and suddenly dancing the macarena while he's still charging his attack.
- Mocking the High School setting as a student having to explain what causes an eclipse.
- The "Cartoon Wars" special:
- Fred's opinion on Mother Brain:JdG: It looks like a hybrid between chewing gum and a whore.
- When a girl in the Legend of Zelda cartoon complains that beautiful young women are meant to be rescued by a prince and not another young woman, there's a huge eruption offscreen:JdG: I think a feminist just exploded.
- Commenting on how getting-sucked-into-a-TV was a standard plot device (not to mention a common problem with TVs) in the '80s, but it just wouldn't work today:JdG/Kevin: Oh my god it's full of porn! It's full of porn! ...MOM?!?!!?
- "Awesome! I don't have my driver's licence but I have a gun!" Followed, naturally, by a patriotic backdrop and rousing chorus of "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!"
- While talking about Sonic Underground, he finds the scene where the villains are trying to identify Sonic by comparing various pictures of animals' butts (which he describes as a "Animal Anus Database"). He then realizes that, since the characters are animals, this technically means they are watching porn. Cue him dubbing the scene as if the two villains were two kids watching porn and Robotnik/Eggman was their mother catching them.Eggman mook: Oh yeah, look at this lil' blue hedgehog ass...
Eggman: What the fuck are you doing, you disgusting bastards?!
- Fred's opinion on Mother Brain:
- The Christmas Special episode:
- He-Man Christmas Special:
- Fred's "rocket": a white windowless van with "Free Candy" on the side, with cardboard fins.
- "I never thought I'd say this, but thank God, there's a giant dick that appears in the sky to interrupt the song."
- The end of the He-Man special (according to Fred): the kids get sucked in a jet engine while using their anti-gravity belts.
- Star Wars Holiday Special:
- On seeing Chewbacca's family talking to each other without subtitles:JdG: Ten minutes! Ten goddamn minutes of trumpets assfucking each other before someone says an actual word!
- Fred helpfully subtitles the Wookies, complete with the music from Strip-tease (a French TV series focusing on the private life of a family or person, usually either very eccentric or flat-out insane):VROOM VROOM I'M RETARDED!
SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHIT!
HEY LITTLE SHIT! C'MERE SO I CAN THROW YOU IN THE TRASH!
FUCK OFF BITCH!
IM'MA BEAT YOUR ASS! YOU LITTLE SHIT!
BRING IT ON!
GET IN THE TRASHCAN! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS!
I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF! I SWEAR TO Y'ALL I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!
- Darth Vader makes an appearance... for all of 15 seconds. Cut to the director announcing that it's back to 40 minutes of Wookies... and snapping his own neck.
- Fred reaction to Chewie's father watching what amounts to a softcore porn movie :JdG: I'm watching a Star Wars movie... Where Chewbacca's father is fapping in the kitchen while watching an interracial porno! I never thought I'd miss Jar Jar one day.
- If the movie had come out on DVD, what would the scene menu look like?1. The Brush Shop
2. The Carpet
3. The Recipe
4. Grandpa jerks off in the kitchen
- An apt description for all "humorous" scenes: "Cerebral sodomy".
- On seeing Chewbacca's family talking to each other without subtitles:
- He-Man Christmas Special:
- The re-uploaded "Ads in the 2000s" explains that as the original used clips of 9/11, Youtube's algorithms prevented any ads from playing or even from warning subscribers that the video was available, and that they had to recreate the scene themselves so as to pass the bot's standards. With a paper plane and plastic bottles. The re-uploaded version also replaces real Iraq/Afghanistan War footages (from French news bulletins) used in the introduction by a video of a kitten.
- "Captain America before he was cool":
Fred (dripping with condescension): Well done Steve, that's a very nice picture! But that's not a real job. You're going to end up homeless.
- Steve driving around the country giving drawings to people.
"They fell in the water. They probably melted."
- Seb as the shield's designer bursting into laughter when Fred asks if it's made out of vibranium then calmly answering: "Of course."
- "There's a parking lot chasing you!"
- The machine sparking and smoking yet functioning normally is parodied by having the same thing happen with a coffeemaker... and a sugar bowl.
- Fred describes the "Psych Hitler" moment as "the Nazgûl version of that thing where you pretend to give someone a handshake and then actually just smooth your hair". With Seb and Fred doing just that, Seb looking particularly smug and Fred pointing a gun at his head.
- The Red Skull's mooks see Cap and Sharon fall in the water and... leave.
"NOW THATS WHAT YOU CALL A STROKE OF LUCK!"
- A "ding" sound plays every time there's a camera cut during Cap and Skull's fight. The counter hits more than thirty before exploding. The ending of the video does exactly the same until Fred yells at them to cut it out.
- Fred saying "how lucky" increasingly loudly and sarcastically as a streak of Contrived Coincidences lead to the 1990 films climax. By the end, hes shouting into a megaphone.
- The commercials special:
- A series of Nintendo commercials using Vulgar Humor gets a Classically Trained Extra to describe the actuon in much more refined language. The actor keeps going, at which point Fred thanks him and gives him his salary: a sandwich.
- Fred talks about the commercial that he remembers the most, as if describing his first girlfriend. He even kept the clipping in the wallet all these years... and it turns out it showed a woman in a bikini, a man's testicles poking out of his bathing suit, and the actual ad for a Sonic bundle (the joke: "The Biggest Pair This Summer"). Fred then pushes the clipping closer to Seb, parodying the Alien getting closer to Ripley.
- The "GoldenEye" Papy Grenier is full of them:
- The live-action split-screen of "slappers only" multiplayers takes the cake.
- "In fact, now that I think about it, it was strange. Everything exploded! The chairs, the furniture, the desk lamps, even the plastic toy cars blew up when you shot them! It's as if Michael Bay was working for IKEA!"
- The third-person view of Bond dancing around Natalya.
- "But you're too young to understand weapons, you'll have to wait until high school for that."
- "Violence between friends is something you can't explain, you have to live it for yourself." With the Flower Duet played over two "friends" shooting each other with shit-eating grins.
- The entire Papy Grenier episode about Zelda. One of the highlights focuses on the Deku Tree (here wearing a wig to remain anonymous) and the Unfortunate Implications behind his making little boys enter his body, where there's an entire dungeon, complete with spiders, and nuts to collect. This gets the attention of a policeman, who comes to arrest him, leading to...Deku Tree: You'll never get me alive!
[beat, during which he realizes he can't run away, because he's a tree]
Deku Tree: Goddamnit!
- From the "Resident Evil" Papy Grenier episode:
- Nobody calls Chris Redfield by his name. Not even the credits.Seb/"Gilles Valentin": Did you hear that, Barry?
JdG/"Chris Redfield": I'M CHRIS REDFIELD, DAMMIT!
- "I remember thinking this story was starting badly; it was night time, there was fog, it was the full moon the night of Halloween in a bissextile year. We were chased by mutant dogs in an ancient Indian Burial Ground. The helicopter pilot had left us behind while giving us the finger, and then we arrived in an abandoned mansion."
- After Wesker suggested dealing with the creepy mansion full of zombies by splitting up and camouflaging themselves with fresh blood, the kids interrupt Papy Grenier in his story, as they cannot believe the STARS Squad would suck that bad. Papy Grenier then gets a flashback of Gilles writing his personal diary on the typewriter, describing how the mansion is "very very scary":Papy Grenier: Believe me, we all sucked.
- To point out how convoluted and needlessly complicated the puzzle in the mansion was, Papy Grenier describes in detail the long series of Resident Evil-style items and puzzles needed to open the door to the bathroom. Cue Redfield outside the mansion:Gilles Valentine: [offscreen] What are you doing?
Chris Redfield: I'M PEEING OUTSIDE!
- Their solution when they encounter a monster with tons of tentacles? Throw a Japanese schoolgirl at it to distract it. It's too busy... ahem, "attacking" her... to care about Chris and Gilles. There's obviously no visuals (except for Papy gesticulating and making slurping noises), but the kids listening to the story are understandably grossed out.
- Grenier-Redfield and Valentine finally start to realize there might be a traitor among them, and wonder who that might be. Cue Wesker standing next to them with an Evil Laugh.
- Nobody calls Chris Redfield by his name. Not even the credits.
- From the Final Fantasy VII episode:
- "Well, let's see... Did I ever tell you about the time I was a soldier in a terrorist group? Four years before it was mainstream!"
- Seb (as Barrett)'s minigun is an inflatable toy.
- "Ah, I remember my team, there was my childhood friend, a big black guy with a machine gun, a mechanic, a florist, a ninja, a little cat riding a big cat, a vampire, and a talking dog."
- "Let me tell you about Sephiroth, a guy who hated florists."
- The in-game cutscene has Cloud gently let go of Aeris's body in the pool, then we see her sinking down several feet. Papy points out the Fridge Logic (how could the pool be that deep and yet let him stand), and we cut to the real ending, Cloud dumping Aeris's trashbag-wrapped body in a river.JdG/"Cloud": Shit, she's not sinking!
- Made even better when you learn from the author that this is a completely unscripted scene: the fake body bag started drifting away on the river, with fishermen not too far away, so they couldn't risk to just let it go. Cue JdG trying (and failing) to catch the fake body bag with his foamy giant sword in a Cloud outfit during winter, with the camera clearly shaking as the filmmaker (Seb) is laughing his ass off.
- And then he chuckles, saying "I think I kept an ear, I've got it around here somewhere..."
- "And even when you're indoors and think there's no more of the stupid critters to fight, you get jumped by the fucking furniture!"
- Grenier, as Cloud, getting fed up with the incessant Random Encounters and summoning Bahamut Zero against... cows. The result seen from orbit:
- His explanation of why the party only included three members at once.Papy Grenier: There wasn't enough room in the Twingo...
[cut to the Highwind where the rest of the team is partying]
- From his Mass Effect one:
- From his RollerCoaster Tycoon video:
- Remember when he got drunk with power as the mayor of SimCity? Well, the same happens here. He forces his employees to take insulting names, he overloads the fries with salt and then sells them for a absurdly high price, he pops out everyone's balloons to force them to buy new ones, he designs life-threatening attractions and then fires the maintenance employees... By the time he's done with it, the entire park is in flames and the United Nations have to intervene.Papy Grenier: The Neck-Breaker, from 200 km/h to 0 in two seconds.
- The proposed names for the park: Fistiland, Parc à Tes Risques (Taking-risks-Park, also a joke on the Parc Asterix)("In my last park, there were 27 deaths. I say we should take it with humor."), and Kidz Krazy Kingdom.Shareholder Seb: Okay, let's go with Fistiland.
- And how does he survive his helicopter's crash among all the chaos? With a literal golden parachute.
- Remember when he got drunk with power as the mayor of SimCity? Well, the same happens here. He forces his employees to take insulting names, he overloads the fries with salt and then sells them for a absurdly high price, he pops out everyone's balloons to force them to buy new ones, he designs life-threatening attractions and then fires the maintenance employees... By the time he's done with it, the entire park is in flames and the United Nations have to intervene.
- Fallout 3:
- Grenier's Disproportionate Retribution on Butch for eating his cake where he let his mom die, decapitated him, beat the head with a baseball bat and then making the head kiss her mom's corpse.Papy Grenier: No-one steals my cake!
- Papy Grenier explains how he had a device that would warn him about anything at any moment. Cue Fallout Grenier being informed by his device that he no longer has legs.
- The parody of the Fallout Propaganda, which describes your character as a R.I.C.H.E. (the French word for "Rich"), which here are an acronym for "Radin" ("Greedy"), "Idiot", "Colérique" ("Angry"), "Haineux" ("Hateful") and "Egoiste" ("Egotistical").
- Grenier's Disproportionate Retribution on Butch for eating his cake where he let his mom die, decapitated him, beat the head with a baseball bat and then making the head kiss her mom's corpse.
- Grenier traumatizing the guard at the beginning by constantly switching faces with the avatar creation screen.
- Papy Grenier tries to tell the kids he defeated his first dragon in a climatic battle... before admitting he actually just stayed hidden during the whole battle and let the guards do all the fighting before showing up to absorb the dragon's soul.
- Lydia being introduced with her vanilla game design, only for Grenier to turn her into a big-breasted attractive blonde with a skimpy outfit using a mod, completed with a Magical Girl style Transformation Sequence.
- When faced with the mountain they need to climb in order to reach the Greybeards, a concerned Lydia asks Grenier how they will accomplish such a thing. Cue Grenier putting Cool Shades on and exploiting the infamous Good Bad Bugs to climb the montain with his horse.
- The Running Gag of Grenier being acclaimed by everyone as a hero each time he kills a dragon... only to then immediately get arrested by the guards and thrown in jail because he accidentally stole a plate when trying to eat the apple standing on it.
- The various ways Skyrim's system is parodied, such as Grenier poisoning himself after tasting a venomous ingredient, falling on ground due to "carrying too many items" because he picked a flower, and being somehow nursed back from near death by having Lydia feed him a cabbage.
- Papy Grenier mentions he was beloved by everyone and hailed as a great hero... which somewhat confuses him, given he was walking around in Draedric Armor with a skull-shaped mask and undead minions.
- When the now over-leveled Grenier faces Alduin, he throws a booger at the dragon. Grenier's character is so OP, it One-Hit Kill the dragon who goes flying crying like Wile E. Coyote.
- Papy explains that he didn't talk back then because he only knew Spanish.Papy Gordon: Ayayay la machine va a explodar!
- The Running Gag of Grenier-Gordon willingly injuring himself so he can get morphine injections.
- He also has two different theories regarding why the G-Man kept appearing everywhere he went, as if observing his every move. He is either an Enigmatic Minion observing and evaluating him... or he's just as lost as Gordon.G-Man: Sorry, do you know where the exit is? Because I asked that guy and he told me the first to the right, so I went to the right, but...
- His justification for why an 8-year-quantum-physics mastery from M.I.T is on pushing-a-cart duty is because he abused the morphine supply of his suit.Kid: And did you succeed in pushing the cart, Papy?
- Papy explains that he didn't talk back then because he only knew Spanish.
- Metal Gear Solid, as remembered by Papy Grenier:
- Liquid Snake is Fred in a wig and only a jacket.
- One kid comments it's a good thing the game wasn't on PC. Cut to Psycho Mantis going through the browsing history and throwing up in his mask.
- A dying Psycho Mantis gets Snake to see him as a victim... before remembering Mantis killed a bunch of people and tried to get Meryl to commit suicide and get raped before killing him, and snaps Mantis' neck.
- Mantis is shown to be as much of a weirdo as his costume implies:Mantis: Put some whipped cream on my nipples, Snake... What ? It's quite relevant, I know what I'm doing.
- When every boss goes through a long dying speech (wasting his time while he's trying to prevent a nuclear war), he snaps on the third one and shoots him repeatedly, and later tries to dig the earpiece out of his ear (and keeps yelling "I DON'T CAAAAARE!!!!" at the people talking to him).
- David Anderson (actually Decoy Octopus) warning Snake of the danger of Metal Gear.Anderson: It's a heavy tank carrying nuclear missiles, capable of launching a nuclear strike from anywhere. Except for water, because it sinks. And air, it doesn't fly. And bridges, because it's heavy. And not too shallow rivers. But if you're on a flat plain, without too many trees, it can.
- Getting through wolves by having them piss on the box, causing animals to like him:Kid: [matter-of-factly] It was stupid and disgusting.
Papy: [same tone] Yes it was.
- One kid points a bit of a problem with firing rockets at Metal Gear Rex.Kid: Grandpa, you were shooting explosives at a robot carrying nukes?
- As Sniper Wolf is dying, she mentions that she's Kurd. Of course, the video grinds to a halt, pointing out that she's white and has blonde hair and blue eyes.Sniper Wolf: What, you don't believe me ?
Grenier+Snake: Oh yeah, I do, I mean, I'm actually Cameroonese...
- The joke comes back later, when Naomi mentions that she grew up in Zimbabwe, and that it might explain her skin color... Despite her looking definitely white.Grenier-Snake: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean, I'm Cameroonese... Well, my mother was cameroonese, but my father was senegalese. Go Untamed Lions!
- World of Warcraft:
- Papy Grenier is in an unusually good mood... because he thought the kids were actually his Thai masseuse.
- Seb keeps trying to use his animal taming ability. On a worgen, tauren and pandaren player.
- The female night elf player is (naturally) a G.I.R.L., and is introduced in slow-motion (actually her lagging).
- Fred's infatuation with the Mistaken for Racist trope continues as he tries to explain why night elves can't be paladins.
- Fred reveal he wasn't exactly a paladin in shining armor from the start. Cut to him dressed as a peasant with a tiny sword.
- Grenier and his friends get increasingly irritated by the repetitive nature of the Fetch Quests in the game, with the quest giver constantly asking them to kill more wolves. By the end, Grenier and Seb have to restrain the Elf of the group from killing him.
- Grenier pointing out the Fridge Logic behind the fact you cannot use Griffons to go to Stormwind until you have actually gone to Stormwind.
- Arthas averts Orcus on His Throne by complaining that his ass is frozen solid, and is later seen taking a leak.Arthas: Check it out, no hands!
- Arthas attempts to deliver his ominous final lines about how there must always be a Lich King... and nobody's paying attention to him because they're complaining about the crappy loot drops.Arthas: I hate my job.
- One of the kids' final comments: "But don't you need to be a big pile of shit to play Alliance?" A disturbing percentage of the comments read "FOR THE HORDE!"
- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas:
Papy: Americans really have a food problem.
- The video's sponsorship (for Raid has Fred as an Easily Impressed fanboy.
- At first, the intro cutscene starts with the now-memetic "Ah shit, here we go again" scene, then it glitches out to show the decidedly non-black Fred saying "Ah zut, c'est parti mon kiki!". When the great-grandkids complain it doesn't look like him, he says that he used to wear wifebeaters back then.
- Papy Grenier (as CJ) claims his real name was Jean-Charles, but he switched it around so it'd be more "street".
- When eating, the character models ram the food somewhere around their eyes.
- During a segment with an overweight CJ, Papy says it's back when he was funny.
- An ambulance saves a civilian... and then runs her over.
- An explanation for why Police Are Useless in the GTA verse: David Goodenough works for the LSPD.
- On being told someone's killed five people: "Under ten victims, it's the high school's security department jurisdiction."
- CJ driving a tank: "That tank did nothing wrong!"
- CJ running over several lampposts: "Hey, that's what we pay taxes for!"
- CJ walking next to a cop with a bazooka on his shoulder: "Boys always like big toys".
- CJ standing on the hood of a cop car: "That guy looks lost, we should help him".
- The explanation for why pulling stunts gets you money: God thinks it's awesome.
- The recruiting mechanic has Fred pointing a gun in a friend's face... and the friend does the same thing to answer him.
- On some missions, CJ is paid in "respect". Cut to an artist being paid in exposure by Bad Games Inc.
- CJ evades capture by going into a store and buying a hat. The cops let him go, because their Suspect Is Hatless. Then a black guy in entirely different clothes comes out of the store and they open fire.
- Papy's recollection of Auto Erotica in GTA: Cut to Fred and Sorina in a bad wig staring dead ahead as the car shakes from side to side.
- Fred going out on a date involves typical GTA Drives Like Crazy. Then when the girl is too terrified to answer him, he eats... by sticking the food somewhere around his eyes.
- Papy tries to show the kids his bullethole (French euphemism for butthole). Which is next to his actual asshole.
- Splatoon: Seb getting repeatedly run over by a guy with a paintroller.
- Fred claiming he always bought the Sims game when they came out... and loses 10 Manliness.Fred: What ?! But, we all like to create a slightly nymphomaniac pretty bimbo, right?
- "Had the Bourpis been allowed to live, they would have been a peaceful race, they would have cured all illnesses, and they would never have invented dubstep."
- The end of the video is Fred's spaceship hovering above a group of wild animals while he talks about how evolution is beautiful while we see his mouse moving:Fred: ... it's beautiful, it's life. [beat] Kill them!
- Fred claiming he always bought the Sims game when they came out... and loses 10 Manliness.
- Fred and Seb play ARK: Survival Evolved... and nearly get killed by dodos.
- Game Dev Tycoon. Needing more research point, Fred decide to create a new game called Yada Yamete Kodasai. It end up being the game with the highest design and technology he created. And gets the best score by the critics. Fred reaction is stuck between laughing and rejoicing.
- Pokémon Snap:
- Command & Conquer:
- Fred trying to say "Command and Conquer" quickly:Fred: Command and conquer. Command conquer, Commanconquer, commanquer...
- The cheesy So Bad, It's Good acting and dubbing of the cutscenes.
- Fred's comment on the logo of the Brotherhood of Nod.Fred: They say that they're the good guys too, but it's hard to believe them.
Fred/Soldier: [with intentional grammar errors] It's us we are the good guys! You can see it with our black and red logo with a scorpion's tail!
- Fred wondering what are the uses of the Tiberium, since in one video it's said that it's a rare and precious resource (like gold) but that it also gives cancer. Cue false advertisement.Fred: I love my wife. That's why I lavish her with Tiberium Jewels...
[Sorina puts a ring and faints]
Fred: She's so beautiful when she dribbles...
Slogan: "Tiberium... Love is a cancer..."
- Fred trying to say "Command and Conquer" quickly:
- Emily is away as Fred flirt and seduce the girl:
- When having to choose to which school his character will go:Fred: So, art school, engineering school or business school... art school? No, I don't want to be unemployed.
- And later...
- When Emily accuses him of getting her drunk so they would hook up:Fred: No, no of course! Melanie— uh, Emily! Come on! I just wanted to have fun! You had fun, no? I just wanted to have fun! I just wanted to have fun... I mean... Your Honor!
- When having to choose to which school his character will go:
- The Movies:
- Ninja Hitler vs. the Space Vikings. NINJA HITLER VS. THE SPACE VIKINGS.Fred: I dare you to say you wouldn't go see a movie named like that.
- Consisting of Hitler getting beat up by a Baroness-looking woman and a man in a duck suit.
- More of an inside joke − when his first crappy film gets one good review, Fred is startled: "Damn, Durendal saw my film!"note
- Ninja Hitler vs. the Space Vikings. NINJA HITLER VS. THE SPACE VIKINGS.
- Police Simulator 2:
- "This week a very funny subject because we're going to talk about criminality in sensitive cities." (cue Yay!)
- "And this is probably the last, the last, song I would have put in a game called Police Simulator 2: Law and Order" (starts headbanging) "Hey, we're having fun in the police departement."
- "I put two cops in front of this building. At night. Because it's at night that the youngsters get out to smoke crack and sing islamistic rap. (whisper) I read it in The Figaro." (a French right-wing newspaper)
- "Even with a cop in front of every house and two cop cars per street, in less than twenty-four hours there's been four murders and two knife muggings less than 150 feet from the precinct!"
- "I can't cross the street, there's a continuous white line. A continuous white line!"
- More Cops Less Teachers: An Effissienter France (cue the song of the infamous lipdub of the UMP, the main French right-wing party)
- "... In which you play a cop FROM THE FUTURE" (Terminator theme plays as the cop steps in front of a moving car and gets pushed along for a few feet)."Stöp ze kähr!"
- "I had a little trouble controlling the car in the beginning, I confess" (Car going off the road while rolling on itself)
- "I have to stop the car to give it a ticket but I don't know how to stop it, so..." (Cop car forcing the other to crash)Fred/Cop: [while the other car is burning] Hello, it's for a routine check.
- "You control the vehicles, making them stop. And then it becomes an abuse of power simulator."Fred/Cop: Hello, do you know why I stopped you?
Fred/Driver: Err, no. I don't...
Fred/Cop: Err, I don't know... Let's say phone, belt... I don't know, give me 200 bucks.
- The ending of Jurassic Park: The Game: Fred sings (to the film's theme song) on the virtues of capitalism.
- Le Petit Chef:
- The hero finds a shopkeeper with a Hitler mustache and asks for advice.Fred: [wearing a Commissar Cap] Well first I invaded Poland, and— oh, you meant cooking steaks!
- All the cooks bow towards the contest judge... except the bad guy, who just looks smugly at him. Cue "Turn Down for What", the Thug Life banner and pixelated shades sliding in.
- The final scene, involving an omelette cookoff with the freshest eggs.
- The hero finds a shopkeeper with a Hitler mustache and asks for advice.
- While reviewing Affordable Space Adventures, Seb starts explaining some of the game's mechanics. Just as he confirms that you can die in the game, lightning strikes the craft, and it falls into a fire.
- Creatures 2: Fred begins by explaining the game is a baby-killing simulator.
- Fred: At least, when I play it.
- The JdG: La Revanche videos. Watch Fred fails and get increasingly frustrated at games he'd previously reviewed!
- "JdG: La Revanche: Fighting Games". It's mostly Fred and Seb playing bad fighting games and mocking them all along. At one point, Fred beats Seb at Rise of the Robots while using the shitty first-player character.Fred: There are no bad characters... There are only bad players...
Seb: It's not possible! You must train in secret!
Fred: Every day!
- JdG: La Revanche: Tintin in Tibet". Especially the third (and last) video. At one point, Fred asks Sorina's help to solve a puzzle (which he failed a lot of times), complete with a select your character screen à la Street Fighter. She nails the puzzle on her first try.Fred: [with the most insincere tone ever] Thank you...
Fred: I'd like to say that, once again, women have shown that they were better at tidying up than men...
[cue generic with a text reading "This was Jean-Michel Asshole, a Netflix series"]
- "JdG: La Revanche: Fantasia":
- After a first run to the end of the level fails due to not having enough points, Fred tries again... and notices he's cleared the 60,000 point mark. The Ode to Joy starts playing as he moves closer to the exit, avoiding the previous traps and pitfalls. He reaches the exit, Ode to Joy intensifies, the scoreboard exceeds 110,000 points... and he gets sent back to the beginning. A moment of silence ensues.
- After yet another death, Fred starts insulting Mickey.Fred: That's— that's. That's why people prefer Donald!
- On reaching a bonus level, A Rare Sentence ensues:Fred: Yes! Mickey killing ponies, that's Disney!
- At the end of the opening of "JdG: La Revanche: Airwolf, a text reading "Created by Stevie Ray Balavoinenote " appears. Crossing the Line Twice doesn't even begin to cover it.
- "JdG: La Revanche: GIGN Anti-Terror Force". Fred and Seb alternatively play a mission to save Jacques Chirac from terrorists.
- At one point, Seb wonders if the character has grenades. Fred then throws one which bounces back to his feet.
- The Good Bad Bug of the immortal strafing terrorist.
- A rather nasty camping enemy kills Fred as soon as he opens a door. Cue Fred flipping the bird to the camera in rythm with the (ridiculously inappropriate) Game Over music.
- Speaking of, all musics in the game are comically inappropriate to the scenes.
- "JdG: La Revanche: Man Enough":
- Getting the first round of questions wrong:Fred: I lost, even though that's clearly a "Rip my clothes off and take me bear-style on the desk!" face.
- The FMVs attempt to make inserting a floppy disk look erotic, Fred goes even further.
- The five dates are at the gym, the camera showing their faces. Mostly.Fred: Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, tits, ma'am.
- After failing with one girl, Fred believes none of the pickup lines work... which makes the game pretty realistic.
- The repeated censoring of the chick in lingerie (by way of Antoine Daniel's distorted rictus plastered over the naughty bits), not so much out of prudishness than the fact that YouTube will immediately take down the video.
- Getting the first round of questions wrong:
- "JdG: La Revanche: Man Enough, pt 2":
- Every time Fred selects the absolute worst pickup line with the most obvious symbolism, it gets a colossal lampshade: A title card simply reading "Class", #subtlety, or even breaking into song to explain that you just heard a disgusting metaphor.
- Fred's increasingly distressed reactions to the aforementioned horrible pickup lines.
- At the end of the video, a police helicopter shows up and tells them to pack it up, just when Fred was about to score. He's not happy.
- "JdG: La Revanche: Dragon's Lair": Fred enters a small room and starts talking about his next move... and then an arm comes out of a sewer pipe, screams "FUCK YOU!" and throws a rock for an instant kill.
- "JdG: La Revanche: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles":
- Fred's almost orgasmic reaction when he finds an exploit for the boss, as Leonardo can attack the boss through the wall and the boss keep trying to go through the wall.Fred: Oh yes! Oh it's so beautiful to fuck up someone who can't do anything about it.
- His complete disdain for Raphael.Fred: You did what you could, which means not much.
- Fred's almost orgasmic reaction when he finds an exploit for the boss, as Leonardo can attack the boss through the wall and the boss keep trying to go through the wall.
- "JdG: La Revanche: Fighting Games". It's mostly Fred and Seb playing bad fighting games and mocking them all along. At one point, Fred beats Seb at Rise of the Robots while using the shitty first-player character.
- The review of Saint Seiya: Legend of Sanctuary:
- Fred calls Saga's One-Winged Angel form "his second boss phase" while "Now Saving" flashes on the screen.
- His reaction when he sees the Cancer Gold Saint song (bonus points for the Nostalgia Critic reference) :Fred: [after a long beat] You make him sing? You make the Cancer Saint sing??? You DARED make sing one of the most evil Saints of all manga history like a fuckin' Disney Princess... NOOO! NOOO! No! No! Go fuck yourself! Go... [cut]
- The review of Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue:
- As the characters all talk at the same time, "SHUT UP" slowly materializes across the screen.
- His look of Fridge Horror when he wonders how Bugs Bunny know what a crack pipe is.
- "20 dollars! With that money, he will be able to buy mountains of drugs!"
- In his Let's Play of Batman: The Telltale Series.
- His Running Gag of mocking how quickly mayor Harvey Dent is able to turn the municipal police into a mercenary private army and Gotham City into a virtual city-state wherein he holds absolute power, blows up buildings and executes dissidents, without anyone in the United States batting an eye, whether the Government or the Army. Especially when he starts imagining how Harvey's army of trigger-happy Knight Templars would handle the everyday parts of their jobs.Cop: Municipal police. Hello. Your car is illegally parked, I'll have to shoot you in the head.
- In general, his insistence to call Harvey's mercenaries the "municipal police" every time they appear really destroys both their air of menace and their credibility.note
- His other Running Gag of pointing the other characters' obliviousness when it comes to realize that Bruce Wayne is Batman. For instance, when Penguin finds a secret room in Wayne Enterprises, only accessible from Bruce's office, wherein there are secret technologies very similar to those used by Batman... Or when Bat-drones show up to protect Bruce from Harvey's snipers...Fred/Bruce: Those are Batman's drones in Bruce Wayne's house, but I'm absolutely not Batman...
- His other Running Gag of pointing out how Batman's "non-lethal" takedowns are actually very likely to kill his victims.Fred: [Batman slams a mook's head against a wall] Broken neck! Non-lethal!
- Fred is a little sour towards Alfred, as the latter withheld the informations about Thomas being a mobster, since because of that Batman's entire existence is based on a lie.Bruce: And you helped to make me the man I am today...
Fred: You made me the man I am today. A guy who dresses as a bat and goes out during the night to beat up people. Thank you, Alfred.
- His decision to dub the random thug who tries to murder Bruce Wayne during his speech at the end of the game "El Mustachor, the Mexican Bandit". Clearly the best addition possible to Batman's rogue list.
- His Running Gag of mocking how quickly mayor Harvey Dent is able to turn the municipal police into a mercenary private army and Gotham City into a virtual city-state wherein he holds absolute power, blows up buildings and executes dissidents, without anyone in the United States batting an eye, whether the Government or the Army. Especially when he starts imagining how Harvey's army of trigger-happy Knight Templars would handle the everyday parts of their jobs.
- Playing Kerbal Space Program without a tutorial.
Muller: First, you'll be very cold, and then very hot, due to the solar radiation. But it's all For Science!.
- The first rocket fails to take off.
- The second rocket takes off... and runs out of fuel, falling back to earth before exploding.
- The third rocket has multiple fuel pods, all of them firing off at the same time... and when it runs out, falls to earth and bounces around.It didn't explode! Must be because there's no fuel.
[rocket explodes just at the end of the sentence]
- Up to Eleven when one of his rockets falls on the laboratory and the subsequent explosion completely destroys it.Fred: [beat] ... Science... is cruel...
- The repeated mentions of the Toulouse-Matabiau Space Center* ... previously AZF* .
- After one rocket too many turns around and crashes, Fred decides to deliberately screw around with the reactors by putting a bunch of them on the side, then launches the rocket. He then slowly realizes that this hate-designed rocket is going to pass the atmosphere.
- In the second episode, one rocket is designed so both boosters fire at the same time. Naturally, only one ignites on takeoff.
- Every single time a parachute is put on a rocket in the name of astronaut safety, it deploys immediately after takeoff.Fred: The best way to stop the parachute from deploying during takeoff is still to remove the parachute... *jingle* [PROBLEM SOLVED]
- Fred's attempt at a Space Shuttle: The rocket doesn't fire, the orbiter immediately separates from the rest, slides down... and slowly keels over backwards.
- One rocket finally, finally reaches orbit. Shame the cockpit somehow got separated before then.
- The third video starts with Muller explaining that Science allows him to- (snaps fingers) (obvious camera cut with Fred now outside the room, leaning on the door) (snaps fingers)- leave a rom as if he'd never been in it.
- The second time an astronaut makes it into orbit, the engine that should have brought her back to Earth was filled with the wrong kind of fuel.
Muller: OK, Valentina is slowly drifting away and will die in space, far, far away... So the mission is a complete success!
Fred: Would you look at that, it's pure sex!
- A new rocket has three clamps holding it up... that don't release it automatically on launch... and have to be released one by one. In the second attempt, Fred disconnects [[Epic Fail the cockpit while trying to release the clamps.
- One rocket releases the second stage... and it turns out its engine was in front of the fuel tanks.
- A Failure Montage of rockets where the boosters fire off one by one, set to the finale of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.
- In the fourth video, the first rocket is a test run to recap everything they've learned since there. The rocket not only fails to take off, the cockpit falls off and explodes. But since the parachute went off, the Final Fantasy victory jingle plays.
- Another rocket gets built, none of the boosters ignite... but the final stage does lift off. And of course, crashes just as Fred says it's probably headed into space.
- A rocket makes it into space when an accidental click causes the final stage to disconnect early. But since the rocket is still going straight up, the stage keeps shaking left and right but stays on top of things for quite a while.
- In the fifth video, the Framing Device is Fred's character Dr. Muller giving a presentation from the Toulouse-Matabiau space center ("situated south of Paris and west of New Delhi"), using shots of Toulouse landmarks which then are followed up with stock images of a dog attacking a frisbee, bubbles, a forest and a snowy landscape (which he explains as including anyway because hey, they didn't cost anything).
- The logo for said space center is the earth, Speed Lines going around the planet... and an explosion.
- One launch has three side boosters the Fred claims will activate when he hits space. They do... they just don't actually lift the rocket.
- Muller sees a successful launch and simultaneous booster drop and declares it Better Than Sex. And in fact tells us that if it weren't for the audience he'd be masturbating right now.
- Muller, still giving a conference, explains that the module flipping over endlessly is in fact functioning perfectly as it's creating Artificial Gravity.
- The module is too heavy, so Fred orders the astronauts to bail out. While in orbit.
- Fred explains that he never said anything about putting a rocket into orbit: there's a (dead) astronaut in orbit; Mission Accomplished.
- The first attempt to reach the Moon misses by a mere 2,000,000 kilometers.
- Fred's new goal after almost reaching the Moon: that they will send a living creature smashing onto the Moon's surface.
- As of episode six, this does in fact happen.
- At the start of episode 6, something goes wrong with every single rocket: none of the boosters work, or a single one does (leaving the other three, and the rocket, to fly in circles), or the final stage lifts off (except the parachute is still attached as it heads upwards). This prompts Fred to build the next one without a parachute.
- The next rocket is reduced to the landing module and reenters the atmosphere, heading towards the ocean. Fred tries to deploy the parachute... and then remembers he didn't put one in this time.
- As the module starts burning up, Fred accidentally causes one of the astronauts to exit... and he immediately burns up.
- As the module continues to fall, we're treated to an educational "troll physics" video explaining a particular scenario where falling out of a plane while skysurfing a table allows you to survive by jumping off the table just before impact. Fred decides to have the astronauts eject just before impact. This works.
- After (another) rocket crash, Fred plays a parody of an SNCF public announcement stating that the next rocket will be delayed for 2 years.
- The four boosters separate flawlessly and simultaneously:
Fred: He should make it there in... He should make it there.
- An astronaut falls off the rocket.
- Cut to a clip of the Russian meteor and someone screaming.
- The rocket is out of fuel and spinning, when Fred notices the astronaut hanging on outside. He hits on the idea of telling him to let go, timing it so he'll head for the moon. Naturally, he flies off the other way, and his flight path takes him out of the solar system.
- The rocket smashes into the lunar surface. And Mission Control Rejoiced, supplemented by liberal use of "Now We Are Free".
- The second part has Fred latest creation, the Hope VI rocket. Every single time he says the name, it cuts to the logo.
- The hideous neon color and font used for title cards reading "Hope VI", "The Brilliant Plan", "Shit-Ass Technique But It Can Sometimes Work Because Science Is All About Adapting To Things Not Happening Anything Like They Should".
- The boosters fall off normally, only for Fred to belatedly realize they're falling on the space center.
- Fred's monotonous, deadpan constantly-censored Cluster F-Bomb.
- The "Shit-Ass Technique But It Can Sometimes Work Because Science Is All About Adapting To Things Not Happening Anything Like They Should": realizing that the lander is close enough to the moon that you can just wait for gravity to take you there instead of wasting fuel.
- The first landing runs out of fuel (although the astronaut makes it out more or less all right), so Fred declares it happened in another dimension.
- The second landing still goes wrong, with the astronaut having to bail out of the lander.
- Seb's Let's Play of King's Quest (2015):
- He realizes early on that the Framing Device is very similar to the premise of Papy Grenier. He proceeds to imitate Papy Grenier's voice and mannerisms throughout the entire video.
- When Graham is attacked by Goblins (including a traverse flute-wielding one), Seb's Faux Horrific reaction just kills all the tension.
- When Gart asks why he chose the old man while Amaya could have brute forced it, Graham gives the wisdom answer, Seb confessed he just screwed up the objects management and defends himself saying that sometime we must help the elderly.
- In episode 3, Graham decides to use the food to make a fake friend so he can have a feast, when he wonders why he didn't think of this sooner.
- In episode 4, Seb imagines that after his son's kidnapping Graham will become Graham the Impaler.
- Afraid of giving too much power to the Church, Fred decides to balances it by refusing the Pope in his kingdom, the Church's reaction? Burning him at the stake after branding him a heretic.
- His last ruler spend fifteen years in-game affected by his age, which translate to half of the words displayed having random letters replaced by others. Despite that, Fred still manages to stay in power for fifteen years and win a swordfight duel.Fred: Senile grandpa, reigned fifty years, a billion years old and still whooping youngsters' asses.
- At one point, his character is cursed by the Devil so that the next person he says "Yes" to will die. It would normally then be a Sadistic Choice of deciding who the king will sacrifice, but fortunately for Fred...Fred: Wait a second, you're the guy who slept with my wife! "Yes"!
- Note that the reason the guy wasn't dead yet was because when discovering the infidelity, Fred decided to behead the Queen and was disappointed you couldn't kill both.
- A discovery session on Ghost Recon Wildlands. Highlights include:
- Randomly dropping out of helicopters.
- Successfully landing the helicopter on a cliff... then Seb exits on the wrong side. Fred goes to reanimate him, Seb's legs sticking out of the mountain... and promptly draws enemy fire and dies, his legs sticking out of the mountain.Seb: What's that, performance art in black and white? "It's meant to denounce the exploitation of rock and earth in Bolivia."
- The team's attempts at invoking the Rule of Cool backfire repeatedly:
- Everyone gets their own helicopter. Not thirty seconds later, three of them have already bumped into each other and two mutually destroyed their propeller and crashed.
- Fred tries to get a majestic Dramatic Landfall Shot with his helicopter only to plunge it underwater.
- It gets to the point that, when they get a badass helicopter towards the end of the stream, Benzaie laments it will end planted in some bush in a few minutes.
- Benzaie getting run over by a car. Thrice!
- The team runs to the helicopter, ready for evac... and someone accidentally threw a grenade, blowing it up.
- The team accidentally shooting their helicopter during a firefight.Seb: It's fine, just needs a new coat of [helicopter explodes] paint.
- Dramatic music plays as the last team member runs to the helicopter, Fred yelling at him to get on... then realizes he doesn't know how to take off.
- In the outtakes, Seb's Unnecessary Combat Roll from a slow-moving car cuts to a sarcastic Slow Clap.
- Ninja Torture 2:
- A plane overhead is dropping bombs at random, as Fred is singing along to the music.Fred: Bombin' the airport, like in Sy-ri-a *buzzer* [JOKE REJECTED]
- Raphael's range, "shorter than if I was hitting it with my dick!".
- The usual "why am I subjecting myself to this?" concludes with a clip of a goat burping.
- The Happy Dance on beating the Technodrome.
- A plane overhead is dropping bombs at random, as Fred is singing along to the music.
- During the video on Steel Division, he mentions the game was recommended by someone going by the name "L'Odieux Connard" (hateful jerkass). He goes on to say that you should give it a try, type "hateful jerkass" on Google and if you don't end up on François Fillon's page you'll find his blog.
- Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis:
Fred: To be cautious, i sedated all my dinosaurs and put them in corrals. Well, almost all of them, I missed one. He fled.
- Fred explains the concept:Fred: Imagine if Jurassic Park had worked, imagine what it would look like.
[Jurassic World logo appears]
- Fred runs the park slightly better than in Roller Coaster Tycoon. Slightly, in that the tourists occasionally survive the rides.
- Fred's sheer joy at discovering that you can run over the dinos in a jeep.
- Fred explains the concept:
- Princess Maker:
Fred: Don't follow my advice.
- Fred assures us that, if we follow his advices, we will raise our daughter well. Gilligan Cut to the daughter who's now dancing in the streets for money.
DAD OF THE YEAR
- Fred's efforts to raise his little girl better turn her into... a dominatrix.
So what's become of my little girl OH FUCKING SHIT
- And then God shows up.
- Harry Potter Kinect: After spending a long time getting his face into position so that the Kinect will take a picture, Fred's avatar for the rest of the game is this. Cue "Henriette Potter" being deemed the new SEGPA (a class where students learn crafts instead of studying, aimed towards failing and/or mentally challenged students) student.Seb: Euthanize it!Seb as Dumbledore: Now I will drink [a] cup of cyanide, because seeing this broke me.
- Complete with one heck of a voice...
- The second year of Harry Potter Kinect:
Fred; And she'll be able to go fuck half of the school.
- Seb (in-character as the headmaster) slapping Neville around with a heavy book.
- The avatar is still the bearded and rictusing abomination from the first game. A shot of Henriette picking up the sword of Gryffindor is labeled "Cursed Image".
- Fred is evidently not a Harry x Ginny shipper, since he claims she can go on to screw half the school now that she's saved.
Shun: She doesn't, where'd you see that?
Fred: In the movies.
Seb: What movies did you watch?
- Pokémon: The First Movie:
Well, okay, that's not true, but you gotta admit, in the Pokemon world, kidnapping children to buttfuck them would be extremely easy.
- Ash, Brock and Misty receive invitations from... an old pedophile!
80 children died that night.
- Fred's horrified face as the harbormaster goes off the deep end about a prophecy.
- Of all the trainers who left for the island, only three show up.
Quick, pass me the flamethrower so I can put out this fire!
- Fred sums up the Mewtwo vs. Ash fight where each Mon fights its clone, pointing out that even he (who barely even played the game) can tell this is a dumb strategy given how Pokemon work on Elemental RockPaperScissors:
Fred (firing an assault rifle): BY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIIIIIIIP!!!
- "So Mew and Mewtwo start fighting, because the Power of Friendship is good and all but laser beams are better."
- Barney Hide and Seek:
- His way of presenting Barney's emission: a purple T-Rex that loves children very much ("in a legal way"), because there is nothing better than "the most violent predator of the Jurassic era" to reassure children.
- The kids suck at hide and seek, leaving more than half their body visible.
- The Running Gag of Barney being a monstrous (sexual) predator:
- At the beginning of the game, the kids run away to hide. Adding terrified screams and Bad Vibrations fits surprisingly well.
- "And the Start button, it allows to send hearts and jump... Yes, because there is no pause in this game. No one can stop Barney. (beat) NO ONE!"
- "I found you!" and "Barney cannot die" are given some very different implications.
- On discovering that leaving the controller alone causes Barney to move towards the level exit by himself, Fred realizes what it means: Barney is self-aware. Cue Terminator theme.
- "I'm just joking. There is nothing strange about that game!" Cue to Fred nervously gulping.
- "[losing at video games] made me the balanced and mentally-healthy man I am today!". A Critical Annoyance sound starts playing, which Fred blasts with a Hand Cannon without looking, gaze locked onto the camera.
- One of the questions he answered in the May 2018 FAQ asked if the fact that "Joueur du Grenier"'s initials match up with "Jardinier du Goulag" (Gulag Gardener) means he intends to start his own flowered prison after ending the show. Fred stares into the camera for a good five seconds in complete silence before moving on to the next question.
"Mommy, is Europe much further?"
- Being the kindhearted and culturally-sensitive people that they are, Fred and Seb waste no time deciding that they're roleplaying refugees crossing the Mediterranean.
- Seb jumps into the water. From Fred's point of view, right onto a shark.
- Fred and Seb land on an island and start gathering resources. By the time they notice their unanchored raft is floating away, it's too late.
- Fortunately, there's another raft further out. They swim to it... and it starts sinking. They swim back to the island... and it disappears.
- On the final attempt:
- Seb jumps off the raft to get more plastic, while in a storm. He soon loses sight of the raft.
- Meanwhile, Fred lowers the sail but falls off the raft, and discovers he swims slower than the raft.
- Seb sees an island and starts swimming towards it, but can't find a spot to climb ashore. Then the island disappears.
- Jurassic Park Evolution
Dinosaurs are like balls: two is good, but three is better.
- Explaining that some dinosaurs need the company of their fellows to be happy:
- Mount & Blade:
- Fred's character, who he decides looks like Alain Juppé (a French right-wing politician). Then he says one of the ways to progress is via mercenary work. Cut to a movie poster (while playing the Terminator theme) for The Mercenary starring Alain Juppé, Nicolas Sarkozy and Sylvester Stallone.
- As he wraps up the video, the words "Are you going to make a narrative LP?" start buzzing around like an irritating fly.note
- Let's Play de la Peur:
- Seb screaming random words when something startles him.
- Seb dying or fumbling in games by not reading the tips on the screen or acting cocky.
- Expect Seb to claim he masters THE GREEN LOTUS SCHOOL OF KUNG-FU every time he plays a VR game where you can see the characters' hands.
- Upon finding a skeleton nailed to a wall with a pickaxe through the eyesocket, deep in a haunted mine populated with crazed animatronics and ghosts, Seb... Calmly tells him to go to labour court.
- "The Exorcist: Legion" is a scary game, with Religious Horror and jump scares aplenty... much of which is mitigated by the fact that Seb keeps punching the mike.
- Super Seducer 2: At the end of the second video, Fred is reading off the dialogue options to respond to a subordinate's idea, and absolutely loses it when he gets to the final one: "Jerk off into a flowerpot".
- Cooking Simulator: Fred tries his hand at cooking. The subtitle? Kitchen Nightmares.
- Any time he reads English text aloud.
- He starts by cutting a loaf of sandwich bread. Lengthwise.
- He tries to flip a steak, puts it on the floor, and repeatedly tries to put it back on the range.
- Fred's sandwich: half a loaf, a charred-on-one-side-raw-on-the-other steak, another loaf (each ingredient barely overlapping the one under it), and a sprig of parsley.
- Fred puts down a plate, which immediately breaks.
- Fred makes tomato soup:
- On finding a blowtorch, he tries to use it to get the water to boil faster, tosses it away, and promptly sets the kitchen on fire.
- He tries to mop up something that's spilled on the floor, can't do anything about it, then accidentally puts the sponge in the soup.
- He then tries to put the soup in a blender. The only thing that ends up in the blender is the sponge. And when he turns on the blender anyway, it doesn't work.
I dunno if wood is supposed to go in... ah, who cares, no time.
- Fred makes a baked trout:
- Fred puts the trout in the oven... still on the cutting board.
- Later he removes the board from the oven, only to realize he left the trout on the floor. Then he tries to put the trout in another oven, and accidentally tosses it in the back. Then the tray and the trout end up on the floor again.
- He ends up serving a single raw trout straight from the fridge. Then he decides he should at least put it on a plate... and breaks several plates while trying to pick them up.
- Thief Simulator:
- In the second video, Fred keeps having to run to a dumpster and hide while he waits for the police to go away. After a while, he starts adding cat noises or conversations with the cop.
- Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition:
Get out of my way, I'm trying to save your species you sons of bitches! *shotgun*
- A summary of the game: "If Michael Bay looked at the script and went "Don't worry. I got this."
- "Okay. I'm just gonna take this out (removes his brain) and put it over here, I don't think we'll be needing it."
- "Doctor Grant: Doctorate in Ass-Kicking!"
- "Doctor Grant: Master's in fucking shit up!"
- Beholder: The game is all bleak, the player character's children both die, his wife dies of grief... and two Achievements immediately pop up.
- SpyParty (Cheating Is Not Enough):
Fred: Is that a good idea or what?
- Fred's suggestion: set the game in a high school.
Seb: *beat* NO.
- After Fred shoots the wheelchair-bound guest:
-Shooting handicapped people
I'd like to stuff her ballots... Oh come on, that's disgusting, I take back that joke.
- After hearing the tutorial bimbo explain that character's entertainment needs are met by interacting with certain objects, cut to Fred with a creepy-ass strained grin.
- Among the guests to a lingerie party is the female senator for Wyoming.
- The discovery that letting your assistant handle the guest list leads to a lot of men in nothing but briefs.
- The thumbnail for his "worst games" tier list is Fred and Seb standing net to the monster pile of Triceratops dung from Jurassic Park.
- The names of the categoriesnote : "Scam", "So Bad, It's Good", "Boriiiiiiiiiiiing", "Very hard but not 'bad', "It's not so bad", "Not great /20"note , "Small puddle of puke", "Huge pile of shit", "Anus of Satan", "Divine purge", and eventually "The Throne"note . In the second part of the video, Fred and Seb changed some of the names because of fear of being demonetized, resulting in "Small puddle of glitter", "Hug pile of rainbow", and "Big hole which doesn't smell good".
- The Ces jeux qui m'ont marqué episode about The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening opens with Fred confessing he doesn't like the The Legend of Zelda franchise. Cue Seb having a heart attack.
- The Peter Molyneux special:
Fred: The latter kind of sounds like a backup plan.
- After his first game was a total failure (it only sold two copies, and he's pretty sure one of those was brought by his mom), Molyneux stepped away from gaming to found Taurus, a small company focused on various programming jobs, as well as the import of beans to the Middle-East.
Molyneux: Thank you, you can always count on Torus, haha, with an "o".
- Molyneux got his big start by a stroke of luck, where Commodore/Amiga mistook his society (Taurus) for then stablished pogramming firm Torus, offering him ten PC (a huge deal at the time) and a contract to produce a database managing tool.
Commodore representative: What's the deal with the cans of beans back the-
Molyneux: Gotto go, bye!
Molyneux: My dog died! I want a dog in the game, and I want him to die! [slams door]
- Later in his carreer at Lionhead, Molyneux was promoted to "creative director", which basically meant that most of his job amounted to popping in unannounced and propose ideas.
"In a parallel universe"Molyneux: There's a boil on my ass! I want one in the game, and I want it to hurt! [slams door]
- And then
Kid: Why does my imaginary friend keep spinning his dick in front of me?
- The Milo And Kate project, cancelled due to concerns of what players might do to the poor (virtual) kid:
- The Stinger has Fred as Molyneux shill his latest creation: a Seb-simulator. That looks like it's using camera trickery to fake Seb being there, then it turns out that no, he actually is there behind a fake screen.
- Behind the Maps:
- You know the hilarity of playing Civilization and having the Roman civilisation in Mexico? And the various cruel things a player can make to dominate the world? Imagine them narrated by someone from The History Channel.
- Every instance of A Rare Sentence, such as the first contact between French emissaries and American spearmen near Jerusalem. In China.
- The newspaper clipping celebrating the end of the war between France and the US:"We fucked 'em good!" With these historic words Napoleon signed the armistice with Washington in a second-class restaurant car after a two-euro sandwich. Magnanimously, no reparations were requested from the USA for war damages, although Napoleon demanded that George Washington sign the document dressed as a pink rabbit singing "Bécassine" backwards while walking on his hands. The legendary dexterity of our valorous ex-enemies allowing him to perform all eight verses of the song, captured on video and made available in every bookstore.
- After losing the war, the Americans get back at the French by... outlawing the production of crab. Crab.
- Japanese soldiers end up in France. Nobody knows why they're there, but Fred notes that their descendants are still around, taking pictures of Paris in preparation for the invasion.
- "France now begins the construction of a nuclear submarine which would, in case of problem, obliterate Egypt and Arabia's capitals. Or even without problem. Should Arabia launch a rocket into space, it will only find a wasteland when returning, that'll teach them to be smarter than us."
- After reaching the conclusion that France owed its successes to its wealth and propensity to strike its neighbors only when they're at they're weakest, Fred concludes the final episode with this Aesop: "It's better to be rich and violent than tiny and smart."
- The picture of Uke Bismarck, when it becomes clear that the French army is steamrolling the German forces.
- The Guild 2:
- Fred says that he's trying to find a wife for his character (with an option to show every single woman in the crowd).Fred: It's one of our superpowers as little entrepreneurs.
- Then he finds a woman who's 17.Fred: She's a little bit too old. [beat] It's the Middle Ages.
- The hero's great pick-up line.Hero: In my shop, we work conscientiously.
Fred: It's an original approach... But, if she's liberal, it may work...
- Fred starts the video declaring how he hates the Marsupilami, a Call-Back to the Fan Dumb reaction when he panned Garfield.
- During his narrative LP of the game, he admits there are two school of thoughts when dealing with competition: burying them by lowering your prices or setting their workshop on fire.
- Every episode shows him trying (and failing) to secure a spot on the city council. The third episode sees him order all his family members to apply for posts to fill up the waiting line, blatantly bribe and flatter the members, and... he still doesn't get anything. However, his wife gets one... and dies right after.
- He finds poems dissing his granddaughter posted on a billboard right in front of his forge, one that he admits he has no idea what it means. He has one of those responsible killed and muses that he will write a poem as eulogy.
- Henri Silverberg dies, but his daughter is ready to take over the fledgling empire. During the narrative segments, said daughter is played by... Fred in a dress and wig. Unshaved.Fred: What's your problem, never seen a woman before?
- Camille Silverberg turns out to be even more ruthless than her granddad as she sends her husband to poison and attack political opponent in the middle of the town. All top by Fred doing a Noble Womans Laugh."Camille": [My husband]'s on trial and I don't know why. No really, I don't. He's done so much shit I don't know which they're accusing him off.
- Being the judge of Lyon, Camille covers one of her assassination by wolf attack.Camille: Yes, wolves with sword, the woods are dangerous, don't go there.
- Fred says that he's trying to find a wife for his character (with an option to show every single woman in the crowd).
- "Moi, President".
- Jean-Michel Asshole's exasperated attempt at leading the country with leftists, corporations, Democracy and people he decides to bomb for P.R opposing him.Jean-Michel Asshole: The country's future lies with our children.... I don't think we've ever battered down as many open doors as with that sentence. What, you want me to say the country's future lies in our pencil sharpeners?
Listen, I can't provoke a nuclear apocalypse and handle the president's mistress at the same time, I'm only a man.
I'm tripling our Secret service staff note . What!? I'm creating jobs!
- When his stance on immigration turns out to be more severe than Marine Le Pen, far-right leader, Jean-Michel calls her a commie.
- Jean-Michel Asshole's exasperated attempt at leading the country with leftists, corporations, Democracy and people he decides to bomb for P.R opposing him.
- Captain Tsubasa:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Baguette Stadium! Today is an exceptional match between the Japanese team and a bunch of no-names from Italy! The stadium is ready to burst and this juniors match will be broadcast in no less than 145 countries and 3 different galaxies!
- On the Serious Business aspect of football:
- In the final match, more than 4 parallel universes have tuned in to watch.
The goalie didn't expect this, neither did gravity.
- Expanding on the increasingly over-the-top animations, including an escaped tiger on the field or the phoenix shot killing several spectators.
- Characters losing control of the ball due to entering flashbacks.
- Characters moving like old women or jumping a hundred feet into the neighboring field due to how long the animation lasts, or somebody turning off the gravity in the stadium.
It's a Space Super Saiyan Tiger!
- On the Neo Tiger Shot:
The ball is vibrating like a demonic dildo!
- On a shot that shakes the ball as it moves:
This team is a goddamn zoo!
- On the various Animal Auras:
Diaz jumps up and dies instantly of a broken neck!
- The Argentinian captain blocking a shot with his head:
Did he really just say that?
- One of the players is described as the main character of a hentai game.
- France vs Japan: "Eiffel Tower technique" vs blocking with a double karate chop.
- As the France-Japan match is full of missed shots, the announcer says the Japanese should open their eyes wider. Cut to the stunned coach.
Warner stopped the ball! What a colossal dick that Pierre.
- When the announcer comments on how Pierre brushing his hair before kicking makes him look like a colossal dick if it doesn't score.
(On a match that ended in a tie): Even 10-minute flashbacks on The Power of Friendship didn't work! The Power of Friendship flashbacks always work!
- Fred as the main character, conducting a locker room interview.
(On another player) He's like the girlfriend I never had. (uncomfortable pause) ... Can I rephrase that?
(On the phoenix shot going through the net and killing four spectators): Well I was actually aiming for the goalie's head... If he dies, we automatically win, right? (uncomfortable pause) That's how it happens in Japan.
It'll teach them that pain... hurts.
- Japan wins the first game. The team is ecstatic, it means the coach lets them live another day. Cut to the coach lowering a shotgun.
- Argentina scores a goal. Cut to the Japanese coach pumping a shotgun.
- The coach's justification for the team not getting dinner after the match (due to having only scored one goal before halftime):
I knew one meal every day was too much. I've spoiled them, and now look at them.
- The coach explaining his only coaching skills amount to stand there looking mysterious and paternal, which is usually enough.
- When Japan has serious trouble against the French team, the coach is quick to spot his mistake:
Commentator: Usually we never see referees, even when a player has a heart attack the match continues.*
- During the Japan vs France match, the referee are very present, in fact, too present.
- Germany qualifying thanks to a "lightning victory" over Poland. *cough*
Seb: If chicken is the meat of the body, religion is the chicken of the soul! ... Gonna need to look over my speeches.
- Seb as the leader over his head keeps making ice puns during his first speech.
- After the discovery that the place they were looking for is abandonned and people all dead the leader figures it's time to be honest.
- Seb decides to create fighting arenas and is actually surprised the people support it.Seb: Well as long as they beat each other I'm fine.
- Fred's opinion on foreigners: he's fine with them, as long as they stay at home (i.e., abroad).
- After hearing that human flesh Tastes Like Chicken and setting up religious buildings:
Old survivor: Aaargh, it's too far by a meter, GOD IS DEAD! *shoots himself*
- Religious buildings create hope in nearby people.
Seb: I've got a plan for "funny executions", but that can wait for tomorrow.
- Seb votes a law on righteous denunciation, explaining that the trick is to stick a positive adjective in front of a negative term.
Some guy in the audience: What've we been doing with them until now?
- Seb votes a law allowing the burying of the dead.
Seb: We put them over there... I think. That's a real snowman, right?
Seb: Fuck off Gilles, you're a dumbass and your wife's cheating on you!
- Seb explains the silver lining to be found in the number of frostbitten limbs needing amputations: it helps the prosthesis industry. When his offscreen advisor tries to suggest they won't buy it:
- Seb's brilliant idea for keeping the generator from exploding: turn it off, wait a bit, turn it on, wait a bit, turn it off, wait a bit, turn it on... and it actually works. For about a day.
- Stranded Deep:
- Fred turns out to have been narrating to someone else all along. You'd expect it to be a volleyball, but instead he's talking to a rock with a smiley face on it.
- The day after he put up the video for Raft (which ends with him falling off the raft and watching as it sails majestically away from him, the third part ends in exactly the same way (though at least the islands won't disappear).
- Code bleu (on Project Hospital)
Nurse: I propose "Last Day Hospital" or "Final Breath Hospital".
- The nurse (played by Sorina-chan) is sick of being overworked and proposes a fitting name for the hospital.
Intern: Doesn't it sound a bit gloomy? No one will want to come
(to the government -sent manager announcing she's being Kicked Upstairs): You're still here? I thought you'd commit suicide in your bunker before defeat.
- The doctor (played by Seb) is essentially channeling Dr. Cox.
- Geo-Political Simulator 4 (or rather Power And Revolution): Some highlights of Manu Macaron's presidency:
- Increasing the space budget, specifically the Toulouse-Matabiau space center's.
- Passing laws to make marijuana and prostitution legal. The first passes, the second doesn't, but his popularity skyrockets.
- Going on television to explain himself, with the presidential press release summed up as "It wasn't me".
- Trying to sell warships to Switzerland.
- Renaming France to Fistiland.
- Attacking Belgium because they don't pronounce words the right way. This crashes the game.
- Green Hell
Fred: Yeah, yeah, I know.
- Fred makes a brew of various jungle plants and finds himself running after a naked little boy.
"Hey Gerald, c'mere, there's another one of them dipshits making cat noises on the radio!"
- A youtube commenter on Fred yelling "Mia! MIA!" into the radio:
- Fred sets a trap near his campsite before he leaves. Naturally, he steps on the tripwire just before leaving.
- "Notre Projet" (the second round of Power And Revolution, this time as Etienne Mitron):
Mitron: I haven't even found the presidential toilets and they're already on my case!
- The street protests start 4 days after Mitron's election.
Interviewer: And for provincial areas?Mitron: The what now?
- Mitron increases oil taxes, arguing that no one really needs a car in Paris.
Interviewer: You're the general secretary of the Front Progressiste. Despite all the recent scandals, you cling to your post like a barnacle to a boat, today we'll discuss your strategy to force the return to islamo-bolshevism and how you intend to bring an end to democracy in France.Debuchon: Thank you for having me on the show and for your impartiality.Interviewer: You're welcome, asshole.Interviewer: And what do you have to say to the people who find you condescending?Debuchon: They're dumbasses! Unlike me.
- Jean-Paul Debuchon (Seb as head of the opposition) gets interviewed by the same interviewer as for the president.
Dubois: You made one of your most famous speeches that day. Here it is:
- Debuchon's strategy: He shows up and loudly protests at the lack of budget being allocated to [cause]. Works in hospitals, not so much for terrorist camps.
- The second episode has Mitron legalizing cannabis to compensate for lowering unemployment payouts during an economic crisis.
- Mitron on a day when there were riots in Paris and Lille:
-La Marseillaise plays, displaying "Presidential Speech"-
-La Marseillaise keeps playing-
-La Marseillaise keeps playing-
-The President shows up-
Mitron: Go fuck your mothers.
-La Marseillaise plays, displaying "This Was The Presidential Speech"-
Mitron: After the whole thing ended, I got a lot of positive feedback!
- A reporter (Thierry Margoulin) on the scene claims several billion cars have been set on fire, far-left extremists are on the rampage, the police have spotted several Uruk-Hai...
- Mitron's next speech has him say that the rioters negotiate, he will take steps to better explain why he won't listen to them.
- During a newscast, the news station apologizes for Dubois referring to the president as "Emmanuel" and not "Etienne" due to a cue card error. The intern responsible, a certain Frederic M., was promptly sacked.
- Soldiers open fire into the crowd. 350 deaths later, Mitron encourages people to look for the silver lining: had they not fired, the fact that their guns jam in continuous fire would have gone undetected, possibly putting the soldiers at risk.
I wanted to make it 20.0%, but I forgot the decimal point. [...] You should have seen the Budget minister's face!
- Mitron's plan to link up all of France to the fiber optic network:
Mitron (still on-air): THANK YOU!!
- The video ends with Mitron's approval rating at 30%, when a report comes in about a bomb going off in a market.
- In the final video, Mitron's popularity keeps going down until he's gunning down protesters from the Elysée with a high-powered rifle. Which he insists was taken out of context.
- Debuchon says it's outrageous that the President can't deal with the current crisis. The fed-up reporter asks what he would have done instead, and Debuchon is left speechless before reverting to his "Outrageous!" line.
- This 2018 tweet from Fred's official Twitter account.Lolz on the website which lists people who work in videogames, David Goodenough's photo (the real person) has been replaced by our characternote
- During an interview with Ironquest about his Formerly Fat status, Fred spends most of the video promoting the benefits of a healthy body compared to his previous health and psychological issues. Then towards the end, he gets asked what he would do if he could change anything about his early life, which gets him to think about how his obesity pushed him towards geekier social circles, leading to his getting into video and tabletop games, his meeting of Seb, their creation of the series... and that's where the problem started getting obvious.Fred: If I wasn't fat, I wouldn't be famous. Get fat, people!
- Fred referencing the "fake JDG" meme by jokingly pointing out he actually isn't the second actor to play the role but the third one, the second being another person who was thinner than the original actor and fatter than himself (to make the transition between the fat JDG and a thin one more credible).
- At one point, he discusses about the fact that he would like to be able to travel back in time and warn his younger self about the difficulties he was going to face. Nico and Seb start to (offscreen) make fun of how awkward the conversation could turn out.
- At the Z Event 2020, JDG and a bunch of other streamers play an online pictionary game... and their performance at drawing/recognizing animals results in JDG adding "JDG goes to the zoo with the pictionary streamers" to his Z Event donation tiers.
- One of the words Fred missed was "grenier".