Characters found in Clone High.
The clone of Abe Lincoln. A gangly, indecisive teenager who pines for Cleo while being entirely oblivious to the feelings of his best friend Joan. He's Weak-Willed, in stark contrast to his namesake.
- Anime Hair: In "Election Blu-Galoo", he spiked up his hair and dyed it blue.
- The Chew Toy: Between hitting his head on a tree branch due to his tall height, staying up until dawn studying and becoming sleep deprived in the vain hope of winning Cleo's affection, and having his face mangled multiple times by a "knork", Abe just can't seem to catch a break.
- Cool Loser: Tall, friendly, athletic, fairly handsome-looking, and is the clone of one of the most respected presidents, but not very high on the social hierarchy. If it wasn't for being so awkward and insecure he'd have no trouble winning the respect of his classmates.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Parodied. He's more upset about Cleo not wearing his Letterman's Jacket on TV as promised than he is about her grinding on Ashley Angel from O-Town.
- Dogged Nice Guy: To Cleo.
- Follow in My Footsteps: His number one goal is to live up to (or preferably exceed) the greatness of his well-beloved clone father.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Gandhi.
- Innocently Insensitive: To Joan on a regular basis, both with her feelings and her appearance.
- Just Friends: What he believes he and Joan are.
- Long Neck: A bit of a "gag neck" as well. He has a very pronounced Adam's apple, which makes his neck look rather bizarre, when his head's in certain positions.
- Love Epiphany: Realizes he's in love with Joan after seeing her face on Cleo's naked body.
- Messianic Archetype: In "Raisin the Stakes", he took on a lot of Jesus symbolism. When he became a hippie, he grew his hair out and wore a white robe (with rainbow shorts).
- Nice Guy: In spite of all of his faults, he's a good person underneath.
- Oblivious to Love: Taken Up to Eleven and Parodied till it's nothing, to the point where he calls Joan's "fake infatuation bit" hilarious. Lampshaded in the finale when he asks Gandhi if she'd be interested in him and we get a minute and a half long montage of every time she's shown she had feelings for him.
- Of Course I Smoke: This attitude got him hooked on raisins.
- Official Couple: With Cleo from "Plane Crazy" onward. Or at least until "Changes".
- Only Sane Man: Downplayed, but whenever he isnt part of the madness himself, he winds up having to be the sole voice of reason at Clone High
- Salt and Pepper: Or "Salt and Cumin", in the case of his best friendship with Gandhi.
- Weak-Willed: In stark contrast to his original self, due to the pressure of living up to his legacy.
Abe's best friend who's in love with him, but to her frustration he fails to notice. The clone of Joan of Arc, like Gandhi she cracked under the pressure, becoming a goth as a result.
- Bare Your Midriff: She wears a short black top, which reveals her belly button.
- Beautiful All Along: Parodied, as she wasn't really unattractive to begin with before her makeover.
- The Confidant: For Abe.
- Deadpan Snarker: Against Gandhi and sometimes, Abe. It's also very hostile, when snarking at Cleo.
- Dogged Nice Guy: Towards Abe.
- Even the Girls Want Her: After she's revealed to be "John Dark", Cleo considers the idea of sleeping with her, and decides it would be "Hot".
- Goth: Lightly, of the "Gloomy" variety. Doubles as a Stealth Pun, as the original Joan of Arc was loyal to Rome, and the original Goths sacked Rome. Joan's such a rebel.
- Hartman Hips: Lampshaded in one episode, where Abe highlights them as an attractive feature for people wanting to take Joan to the prom.
- Hollywood Homely: In-Universe, Abe and Cleo treat her like this. (Though no one else does.)
- Hopeless Suitor: Until the two-part finale anyways.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Helps Abe reunite with Cleo in "Plane Crazy".
- Nice Girl: Joan has become cynical and angsty due to not being able to live up to the original Joan of Arc's reputation, but she cares deeply for Abe, and is an all-around nice person.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Cleo
- Sweet Polly Oliver: As John Dark. Another Stealth Pun, as "John Dark" is how you would pronounce her real name, Jeanne d'Arc.
- Tender Tomboyishness, Foul Femininity: She's a sporty Goth with a big heart, in sharp contrast to vein Alpha Bitch, Cleo.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Cleo's girly girl.
- Only Sane Man: One of the only two sane members of the main cast and the only one of the main teens with any common sense. As a result she's often ignored.
A high-five loving party animal who broke under the pressure of living up to the original Gandhi's legacy. He's constantly trying to be popular despite the fact that no one besides Abe and Marie Curie really likes him.
- Ambiguously Jewish: Despite his clone-father being a Hindu, Gandhi was raised by Jewish Foster Parents, who raised him with the Jewish treatment, though he doesn't seem to care about his religion in the slightest.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Has ADD and its hyperactive cousin, ADHD.
- Beta Couple: With Marie Curie towards the end of the show.
- Blatant Lies: Gandhi told Joan that he'd commit to the suicide hotline, but just skipped out on it to go to a party.
- The Chew Toy: Much like Abe, he is subjected to pain and humiliation on an almost daily basis. This includes getting stun gunned by Joan, painted nude by Van Gogh, attacked by piranhas in a moat, becoming fat and sick from eating too much "Extreme Blu!", jumping off the school's roof and breaking most of his teeth while making his student film with George Washington Carver, etc.
- Compressed Vice: The aforementioned ADD.
- Freudian Excuse: The pressure of living up to his predecessors legacy turned him into the idiot he is today.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: The only students who seem to talk to him on a regular basis are Abe and Marie Curie, though JFK pals around with him in two episodes.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Abe.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: When he became a pariah in "A.D.D.: The Last D is for Disorder".
- Jerkass: Gandhi acts like a Class-A dick, particularly when he was working the suicide hotline.Gandhi: Man, that sucks. If I were you, I would probably kill myself. (laughs) Uh, hello? ... Hello?
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Can be a bit of a dick to people like Joan and Van Gogh, but is actually a nice guy, deep down.
- Life of the Party: Livened up JFK's party, by exposing Van Gogh's embarrassing, emotionally-rooted secrets to everybody.
- Non Sequitur, *Thud*: When getting tasered silly, he quoted "Egg Whites Only", before dropping to the ground. Also, when getting drunk, he said "Back to you, Kojak."
- Oblivious to Love: Didn't realize Marie Curie wanted to go out with him until it was too late though luckily he gets another chance with her next episode.
- Odd Friendship: With JFK in "Plane Crazy" and "Makeover Makeover Makeover".
- Piss Take Rap: His brief career as G-Spot, due to the fact he considers saying the same word twice to be rhyming.
- Plucky Comic Relief: Parodied.
- Skyward Scream: STAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
- Teeny Weenie: Judging by people's reaction to his nude painting and the fact he stuffed his pants with several socks to emulate JFK hints that Ghandi is very lacking down there.
The clone of Cleopatra, a selfish, spoiled, vapid Alpha Bitch who's the object of Abe's affection.
- Alpha Bitch: She is a very selfish, snobby, cynical, vain, manipulative, pretentious and materialistic stereotypical school diva who cares only about her social image, beauty and popularity.
- Ambiguously Bi: Cleopatra is initially disgusted by nearly having sex with Joan (who she thought was a man)... before reconsidering and thinking it would've been hot.
- Ancient Egypt: Her clone-mother's place of origin. She made this the main setting of her short film, "The Best of The Best of The Best of The Best of The Best".
- Attention Whore: Where would she be without her flourishing popularity?
- The Cheerleader: She is captain of the cheerleading team.
- Freudian Excuse: It's implied she turned out the way she did at least partly because her foster mother is an abusive drunk.
- Hartman Hips: Has one of the largest pair in the show.
- It's All About Me: She shows very little consideration for other people's feelings and believes she deserves to be treated like a queen among her peers.
- Jerkass: Incredibly selfish, thoughtless and outright cruel on occasion.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: There are fleeting moments where she actually cares about people other than herself. However, for the most part, she's very selfish.
- Likes Older Men: Not to say that she doesn't like men her age too, but she has no problems with getting down with men older than her.Abe: (while watching Cleo french kiss an old biker man in disgust) Geez that guy's like... fourty-five!
- Mood-Swinger: Uh...Uh...IM CLEOPATRA!
- Ms. Fanservice: Cleo is portrayed as seductive, hedonistic and libidinous. She often wears skimpy outfits, and her regular outfit is a white tank top which shows her large cleavage and a tight black miniskirt to show her voluptuous figure.
- Official Couple: With JFK for the first half of the series and Abe for the second.
- Really Gets Around: She bursts into laughter when Abe talks about both of them losing their virginity together.
- Sleeps with Everyone but You: Cleo is unabashedly a slut, and even details a few incidents to Abe about other men, including a college guy she hooked up with and her dentist. However when it comes to Abe, their progress is agonizingly slow.
- Tender Tomboyishness, Foul Femininity: Is a selfish and vein Alpha Bitch, in contrast to Nice Girl Goth, Joan.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Girly girl to Joan's tomboy.
The clone of John F. Kennedy. A macho jock who believes his namesake was a "Macho womanizing stud who conquered the moon!" and strives to live up to that, as well as be incredibly masculine due to having gay foster dads.
- Accents Aren't Hereditary: For some reason, he has (an exaggeration of) the original JFK's accent, even though his foster parents don't (and the other clones don't have their genetic source's accent).
- Ambiguously Bi: When Joan disguises herself as a guy via a fake mustache, it completely fools him into thinking she's a guy but his physical attraction doesn't go away and causes him some distress upon realizing it. After spending some time with his dads and opening himself up to the idea he may not be straight, he very much flirts with Joan by telling her (still believing her to be a new guy) that she should pass the ball to him more often, as he's "open to anything" and follows it up with a wink.
- The Bully: Likes to pick on his nerdier classmates.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Puts out albums every holiday that are apparently sold nationwide.
- The Ditz: Acts rather clueless, despite apparently getting decent grades.
- Has Two Daddies: He has two foster fathers.
- Hollywood New England: A broad Massachusetts stereotype, with an exaggerated Boston accent.
- Hypocrite: Got mad at Cleo for cheating on him with Abe, even though he was cheating on her with another girl at the time.
- Jerk Jock: Is by far the best athlete at Clone High, and a jerk to boot.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Genuinely bonds with Gandhi twice despite normally considering him a loser and tells Joan she's beautiful ESPECIALLY when she's not pretending to be a vapid slut in the finale. He also seems to genuinely love his gay foster dads.
- Large Ham: Big time. Probably the biggest in the show along with Scudworth.
- The Leader: Of his popular group with Cleo, Caesar, and Catherine.
- Mood-Swinger: I AM TECHNICALLY CALM!
- Mr. Fanservice: Widely considered to be one of the hottest guys at school.
- Testosterone Poisoning: May be overcompensating due to him living with gay foster dads.
- Verbal Tic: Says "er" and "ah" a lot as filler in typical Bostonian fashion.
The principal of Clone High who's secretly plotting to use the clones for a clone themed amusement park called Cloney Island. Is constantly up to some sort of scheme.
- Adults Dressed as Children: In "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand", where he pretends to be a student in order to infiltrate one of their parties.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Traps all the clones and the entire Secret Board of Shadowy Figures (and John Stamos) in a freezer, where he puts them all on ice.
- Becoming the Mask: One episode has him steal Mr. Butlertrons sweater to make the students like him and think hes cool and caring. After taking off the sweater, he genuinely helps Gandhi out of the goodness of his heart.
- Butt-Monkey: Expect him to endure some sort of humiliation or injury by the end of an episode.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Now, you know how I like to perform evil surgery. Everything has to be just so.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Has apparently had other schemes before Cloney Island that the board caught on too.
- Cloudcuckoolander: To a degree, though he may just be insane.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Students and teachers who bother him get sent to the Death Maze.
- Ignored Epiphany: At the end of the first episode, after disguising himself as a student at a rager and being beaten up, he vows to be more understanding to the students. Immediately after, he insults the next two students he sees.
- Irrational Hatred: Despises Glen the Janitor for no reason and considers him an unlikable jackass.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Every now and then he shows empathy for a student, despite being an arrogant madman.
- Large Ham: He tends to scream his sentences at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS, and has no qualms about Milking the Giant Cow as much as possible.
- Laughably Evil: Hes an arrogant, sadistic, hammy madman, and those qualities make him absolutely hilarious.
- Mad Scientist: He created a robot butler, helped create the clones, and has no qualms with experimenting on his students.
- Sadist: When hes trying to performs highly dangerous brain surgery on Gandhi to cure his ADD and ADHD with a DRILL, he gleefully tells him that it may kill him, and gets upset when Gandhi accepts it, saying its no fun that way. Immediately after, however, he genuinely helps Gandhi.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis:
- STAMOS! (John Stamos, that is.)
- Also Skunky Poo.
- The Starscream: He plans to betray the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures and employ the clones for his own purposes. Namely, a clone theme park called "Cloney Island".
- Stupid Evil: For Rule of Funny. His grand scheme is to hijack the clones, who have high intellect and talent. Then use them for a theme park.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Did you see that pool? They flipped the bitch!"
- What the Hell Is That Accent?: He speaks with a...strange affectation to his voice not unlike Moira Rose's.
A robotic butler based on Mr. Belvedere. Principal Scudworth's sidekick, best friend and voice of reason. Has a habit of calling everyone "Wesley".
- Affectionate Nickname: Scudworth calls him "Mr. B".
- Affectionate Parody: He's based on Mr. Belvedere (hence his job, appearance, and habit of calling everyone "Wesley"). He was originally supposed to be called "Mr. Belvetron", but the show's creators couldn't get legal permission.
- Catchphrase: He calls everyone "Wesley".
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Principal Scudworth. A scene from the opening credits shows that they've been partners for years.
- The Jeeves: He acts as the voice of reason for Scudworth (and displays far more common sense).
- Machine Monotone: Speaks in a monotone, electronic voice.
- Nice Guy: In contrast to Scudworth, he respects the students of Clone High.
- Only Sane Man: The voice of reason to Principal Scudworth.
- Robot Maid: A male variant.
- Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: In the series finale when the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures comes to take the clones away and terminate Scudworth.
- Ship Tease: Mr. Butlertron shared a romantic moment with Joan in the first episode. Joan hugged him and told him "I love you." and Mr. Butlertron got an antenna boner from it.
- Sitcom Archnemesis: Has one with Scangrade to the point that he calls him by his name instead of Wesley.
- Straight Man: Constantly points out Scudsworth's insanity.
- Verbal Tic: "Wesley".
Clone High Students
The clone of Gaius Julius Caesar, portrayed as an eloquent-speaking dudebro, and the best friend of JFK.
- Ancient Grome: Even he has trouble, differentiating the two.
- Antiquated Linguistics: "By my troth, Catherine the Great, thou hast playéd with mine heart of stone, and yay, I hath returned but not my pyre".
- Expy: Owing to him being a clone of a Roman, he looks a lot like the Little Caesar's mascot.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With JFK.
- Trrrilling Rrrs: Used with his fancy accent.
The large-framed and extremely stupid clone of Genghis Khan. He usually speaks in short, loud sentences.
- Dumb Muscle: One of the biggest students, and also one of the dumbest.
- Fat Idiot: So very much.
- Gag Penis: When walking in the men's locker room, he is accompanied by a sound resembling a boulder dragging across the floor. Joan's face is incredulous.
- Hidden Depths: Turns out to have an amazing singing voice when he sings Schubert's Ave Maria at Ponce's funeral.
- Stealth Pun: He's the clone of a legendary Mongol warlord, and also apparently mentally disabled. In other words, he's a mongoloid in both definitions of the term.
The depressed, suicidal clone of Vincent Van Gogh. The "emo" kid of the school.
- Butt-Monkey: In the pilot.
- Emo: While he doesn't dress the part, this is his archetype.
- Hidden Depths: Like his clone father, he's a phenomenal painter.
- Redheads Are Uncool: He's ginger-haired, and a social outcast.
- Self-Harm: Judging by the bandage he wears around his head, he cut his ear off, like his clone father before him (though this is also in keeping with his Emo archetype).
The Latino clone of Jesus Christ. His biggest role is perhaps in episode 2 where he helps Joan. Jesús is an all-around Nice Guy who tells others to relax and not worry too much about problems because God has a plan for everyone.
- Divine Race Lift: Despite his clonefather being Middle Eas-(ahem)-... "white", Jesús Christo is Mexican.
- Holy Halo: Wears a false one attached to his beanie.
- It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": It's not "Jee-ziss Kriyst", it's "Hay-Soos Kris-Doh".
- Messianic Archetype: The very model of one.
- Nice Guy: He seems like a pretty friendly guy.
- Real Men Love Jesus: The man was his clonefather; of course, he's going to be a religious wacko.
- Shop Class: Works here, to live up to his clonefather's carpentry.
The clone of Marie Curie who's been hideously deformed due to over-exposure to radiation.
- Beta Couple: With Gandhi towards the end of the show.
- Body Horror: Didn't quite turn out like all the other clones.
- Came Back Wrong: The radiation damage to Curie's DNA warped her clone.
- Gentle Giant: She may be a gigantic, mutated freak, but she's very sweet and rather kind.
- Hidden Depths: You wouldn't think so based on her appearance, but she's an excellent dancer, and rather graceful. Even the clone of Gene Kelly can't match her moves! Apparently her deformed skull gives her a unique level of balance.
A one-time character introduced and killed off in "Litter Kills: Litterally" (his introduction is so abrupt, in fact, that his death doesn't even get a spoiler tag). Ponce is JFK's best friend who everyone looks up to. He enjoys littering, despite his foster dad being the school's janitor, but littering ultimately leads to his own death when he drowns in his own blood, head trapped in a plastic bag.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: He dies by drowning in his own blood.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Enjoyed littering so much the entire schoolground was basically a trash heap, which in turn made everyone who looked up to him think littering was cool. It ends up killing him.
- Killed Off for Real: The entire point of his character.
- Long-Lost Uncle Aesop: "Littering will kill you in a way most horrible."
- Parting Words Regret: Dies minutes after having a falling out with JFK. Played for Laughs because normally, Poncey tells everyone he loves them just in case they never see eachother again.
- Rasputinian Death: He gets his hands trapped in soda rings, suffers paper cuts from shreds of a candy bar wrapper, is stabbed in the neck by a juice box's straw, gets a plastic bag on his head, and finally slips on a banana peel, causing him to drown in his own blood.
- Remember the New Guy?: Mocked extensively.Julius Caesar: Oh, Ponce, you're a regular character!
- Tempting Fate: This is what he says before the litter starts killing him:What, Joan? Is litter gonna kill me?
- Tonight, Someone Dies: Again, the entire point of his character. Also mocked extensively.Narrator: Tonight, on a very special Clone High, one of the clones you've grown to love will be horribly killed! This is not some cheap-ass stunt where we lamely introduce a new character just to kill him off! A Clone dies tonight!" (As the Narrator talks, the camera cuts to each cast member, but Ponce is cut to more and more often as the speech goes on.)
The clone of George Washington Carver, who is a burgeoning Mad Scientist obsessed with experimenting on peanuts. He is always accompanied by a mutant, talking peanut, Peany, which he created.
- Antiquated Speech: He has a touch of this (as seen in his quote above).
- Black and Nerdy: He's science-obsessed, dresses like his clone father, and has negligible social skills.
- Labcoat of Science and Medicine: He always wears a long, old-fashioned lab coat over his clothes.
- Mad Scientist: He has shades of this, doing bizarre genetic experiments (like creating a sentient talking peanut) just because he can.
The clone of Catherine the Great, she is a popular student who is often seen with Caesar, Cleo, and JFK.
- Bare Your Midriff: Wears a green crop top.
- Beta Bitch: To Cleo's Alpha Bitch
- Casting Couch: Participated in JFK's in "Tears of a Clone".
- Really Gets Around: Is shown dating Caesar, sleeping with JFK, wanting to go to prom with JFK, and eventually goes to prom with JFK as one of his five dates.
- So Okay, It's Average: In-Universe - JFK remarks that sex with her was mediocre, and calls her "Catherine The So-So".
- Valley Girl: "Like someone put goat's blood on the door jam, you guys!"
- Cloning Blues: He's the teenaged clone of one of the most despised men in history, it's hard to imagine anything else. That said...
- Clones Are People, Too: He's clearly chosen a very different path in life if his peace symbol armband is anything to go by, presumably as a direct response to the monstrous actions of the original.
- The Voiceless: He doesn't have a single word of dialogue.
Clone High Staff
A history teacher and the main cast's homeroom teacher. The worlds first (mostly) human clone, with a little bit of sheep DNA spliced in.
- Clothing Appendage: The wool covering his torso doubles as his sweater vest. He shaves it down to a midriff when he gets overheated.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Sheepman is a mixture of a sheep and a man.
- Half-Human Hybrid: The actual percentage is unknown, but he appears to be equal parts sheep and human.
- Historical In-Joke: The concept of his creation is based off the 1996 cloning experiment of Dolly the Sheep, known for being the first mammal ever cloned.
- Parental Issues: If his comments are anything to go by, he has issues with his father."You gotta LET [your feelings] OUT! Like I do, every night between 10:00 and 10:15, on a pillow shaped like my father."
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He tries to be one. However, his efforts to get his students to open up to him and trust him back are mostly ineffective.
The gym teacher at Clone High, and a genetic clone of American diplomat, humanitarian and first lady Eleanor Roosevelt. The only cloned historical figure to serve as a staff member.
- All Gays Are Pedophiles: She's implicitly lesbian, and makes several creepy, suggestive remarks towards Joan.
- Butch Lesbian: Played for Laughs. (Her clone mother was rather masculine, and was rumored to be a lesbian.)
- Creepy Gym Coach: A rare female version: she makes a remark about Joan (an underage student) having "tight little buns", then blatantly stares at her butt as she walks out of the room."Slowly. Oh, yeah."
- The Dreaded: She's the harshest instructor at Clone High, running her gym classes like a Drill Sergeant Nasty. Small wonder Abe didn't want to end up assigned to her.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: The coach version. She runs her gym class (and the Presidential Fitness Test in particular) like a boot camp, judging her students by harsh standards, shouting at them, and shaming them to motivate them. Talking automatically earns you a trip to the Principal's office.
- Killed Offscreen: In "Homecoming: A Shot In D'arc", a terrified scream is heard and Principal Scudworth walks up with blood on his hands, announcing that he is the new gym teacher, (suggesting that he murdered Eleanor Roosevelt).
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: She's short and muscular, with hairy legs, an angular face, and a thick neck. Were it not for her breasts and lipstick, she could easily be a man in a wig. Some of the students aren't even sure of her gender.Abe: I can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt for gym class.Joan: Yeah, he's great.
- Lesbian Jock: She's very athletic and muscular, and is employed as a gym coach.
Poncé's foster dad, who works as the janitor at Clone High.
- Canon Immigrant: Possibly. He has the same appearance and job as the Janitor from Scrubs, the same first name, and is voiced by the same actor. However, he has a far kinder, gentler personality than his counterpart.
- Ink-Suit Actor: He's virtually identical in appearance to Neil Flynn.
- Nice Guy: He's a genuinely nice, friendly person who loves his job. However, the loss of his son and Scudworth's continued mistreatment leaves him a broken, miserable man.
- Trauma Conga Line: Not only does he lose his beloved adoptive son, but he's also fired because the kids being inspired by Poncey's death to stop littering means his job isn't needed anymore.
The basic foster parents of Abe Lincoln.
- Absurdly Youthful Mother: Abe's mom looks almost young enough to be a teenager.
- Bumbling Dad: Abe's dad acted kind of stupid in "Makeover Makeover Makeover: The Makeover Episode", when he had a mental breakdown, telling him to fist Cleo up the ass, because she's so hot.
- Ephebophile: Abe's dad has these tendencies, seeing as how he described Cleopatra.
- Good Parents: In "Raisin the Stakes", Abe's parents handled their son's drug addiction with responsibility and did a good job at getting him to kick his habit.
- Happily Married: To each other.
- No Name Given: Neither their first or last names have been revealed.
- It's possible that due to them being the parents of Abe, they underwent the names "Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln", as Abe kept his last name, upon his adoption.
- Standard '50s Father: Abe's dad is a parody on this, dressing like a man from the 1950s and having a "father knows best" attitude while upholding outdated views on dating and relationships.
Joan of Arc's "foster grandpa". Toots is a blind man with good intentions, he can sometimes provide helpful insights on Joan's problems, but most of the time just says things irrelevant to the situation at hand as he stumbles around like Mr. Magoo.
- Blind Mistake: Constantly.
- Blind People Wear Sunglasses: Joan of Arc's foster grandpa is a blind old man with sunglasses that are revealed to hide the gaping holes where his eyes should be.
- Blind Seer: A parody of one, anyways. Though on occasion he can miraculously pull some actually relevant advice out of nowhere. He's also a whiz at basketball.
- Bumbling Dad: Bumbling Granddad actually. He means well, but he overestimates what he's capable of.
- Catchphrase: "Now, I may be blind..."
- Eye Scream: It appears he's blind because he doesn't actually have any eyes.
- Magical Negro: Parodied.
- Whoopi Epiphany Speech: Subverted all the time.
- Driven to Suicide: When Ghandi tells them he wants to be a trucker, his mother threatens to hang herself. Thankfully, she doesn't go through with it.
- I Have No Son!: Gandhi's dad responded with this, when his son told him he wanted to become a trucker.
- Jewish Mother: Gandhi's mom.
- Jews Love to Argue: Not a family dinner passes by without his parents bickering back and forth.
Cleo's Drunk Foster Mom is, well, Cleo's drunk foster mom. Never without a drink in her hand, she's either verbally or physically abusive to Cleo (not that it seems to bother her) and lets Joan and Toots move in with them because she's dating Toots.
- Abusive Parents: Tends to throw things at Cleo when she runs out of alcohol.
- I Was Quite a Looker: She invokes this in one episode. "I was hot once, too. But now, look at me. LOOK AT ME!"
- Lady Drunk: Has yet to say anything that wasn't slurred.
- MayDecember Romance: She's younger than Toots.
- Pet the Dog: Her letting Joan and Toots move in with her after their house was destroyed may have just been because she's sleeping with Toots, but it's still surprisingly nice of her.
JFK's foster parents, Wally and Carl. Wally is a slight Camp Gay and Carl is a blatant Straight Gay. They're known for being two of the more supportive foster parents seen on the show. Well, Wally is, at least.
- Camp Gay: Wally.
- Fat and Skinny: Carl and Wally, respectively.
- Good Parents: Wally and Carl are two of the most caring, competent foster parents in the series. They go back-to-school shopping with JFK, and are supportive of his interests, as well as when he questions his sexuality.
- Manly Gay: Carl.
- MasculineFeminine Gay Couple: Carl is a very masculine man, while Wally is significantly more effeminate.
Celebrity Guest Stars
A famous rock star and certified doctor.
- Ambiguous Gender: JFK refers to him as a "scary androgynous white guy".
- Hidden Depths: After Ghandi passes out from consuming too much X-Stream Blu, he reveals himself to be a certified physician. He uses his medical knowledge to revive Ghandi, then educates the student body on the importance of eating a balanced diet. Through song!
- Mood Whiplash: His song about the food pyramid starts off cheerful and wholesome (complete with dancing cartoon representations of food), then briefly switches to a terrifying Death Metal riff, with Manson belching flames."And when you eat just sweets
Make sure you try
To limit your servings
(Music abruptly shifts from jaunty ragtime to industrial metal riff)
(Back to jaunty)
A famous comedian with ADD who tries to raise awareness about the disorder at Clone High. Unfortunately, his ADD makes it very hard to stay on topic.
- Attention Deficit Oh Shiny: He has ADD and ADHD, and is easily distracted by anything. His talk with Abe has him start rambling about random stuff, claim to be an albatross, and jump out a window, and his speech to the foster parents of Clone High has him get distracted and run off chasing a plastic bag.
- Cloudcuckoolander/Talkative Loon: Oh yes. He constantly gets distracted and starts rambling incoherently about random things. His first conversation with Abe ended with him jumping out a window for no reason.
A singer-songwriter from the band O-Town who hosts the Spring Break Dance Academy TV show.
The narrator of the show. In theory, his job is to recap the previous episode and tease the following episode, but he mainly spends his time ranting about his personal life and insulting the audience for not keeping up with the show.
- Lemony Narrator: The description says it all, although more Jerkass-ish than most examples.
- Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: He is very fond of the scene where Joan and Cleo have a Cat Fight."Tonight, on a very special Clone High: Abe must choose between the girl he loves, and that other girl with the red hair. Hey, Micah- bring up that shot of the two of them rolli- [Clip from "A Room of One's Clone" pops up] Yeah, that's the one. Well... I'll be in my trailer."
- Never My Fault: He constantly blames his co-workers for his narrative mistakes and screw-ups.
The shadowy heads of the government cloning project and Scudworths superiors, who dont trust him, due to their (correct) suspicion he is completely insane.
- Armchair Military: Implied.
- The Comically Serious: The leader treats everything as a matter of utter seriousness, no matter how ridiculous or silly his conversations with Scudworth get.
- Greater-Scope Villain: They were responsible for the creation of the clones, the high school, and possibly the town itself, for the purpose of building an army of the greatest figures in human history. In the two-part series finale, they crash the prom to seize the clones and bring the project to fruition (only to be outsmarted by Scudworth and frozen alive).
- The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: Parodied.
- Powers That Be: The authority behind the cloning project, and Scudworth's bosses.
A sentient, talking peanut who was genetically engineered by George Washington Carver.
- Animate Inanimate Object: He's a living, sentient peanut.
- Foil: To his creator. Unlike Carver, he's jolly, outgoing, and socially adept.
- Covert Pervert: He took advantage of Cleo's alleged "drunkenness" at the student-only kegger to steal a kiss. (And claims she kissed him "right here on [the] left nut".)
- Nice Hat: He wears a tiny brown bowler hat.
- White Gloves: Wears a pair, along with his hat and shoes.
A rock star who visits Clone High as part of their anti-drug program. He has a secret identity as The Pusher, a drug dealer who sells raisins to kids.
- Badass Cape: The Pusher wears a high-necked, purple cape with ermine trim (but only during his Villain Song).
- Badass in a Nice Suit: During his introductory musical number, The Pusher sports a 70's-style pink suit with lavender pinstripes."Check out my sweet-ass matching pants suit!"
- Department of Redundancy Department: Has a List of Transgressions of all the drugs he's done in his life... all of which are just different slang for marijuana.Larry: I even smoked pot once!Students: *gasps in shock*
- Do Not Do This Cool Thing: Tells the students to stay away from drugs, because he regrets getting super high, which also inspired him to write a hit song and made a ton of cash.
- Dramatic Unmask: When he's exposed as The Pusher. Strangely, he's shown unmasked during his Villain Song "Pusher Man", and looks absolutely nothing like Larry Hardcore at the time (looking a bit like Mok Swagger from Rock & Rule).
- Fake High: He's been selling raisins as a recreational drug on behest of a fruit conglomerate to drive up sales. The "high" the kids have been getting is just their imagination.
- Ink-Suit Actor: He looks quite a bit like (a younger version pf) Jack Black, and performs the same style of music.
- Villain Song: "Pusher Man".
A trucker who takes Gandhi under his wing as part of Gandhis elaborate scheme to get out of taking the PXJTs. Hes later revealed to be the ghost of the deceased creator of the PXJTs, who secretly taught Gandhi how to do the test.
- Dead All Along: Parodied. Somehow, Gandhi never noticed that the Trucker and his truck were invisible, and the flashbacks show Gandhi pouring gas onto the pavement and floating two feet above the air. (However, he also somehow appears amidst the group of supporting characters who were helping the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures.)
- Destructive Savior: He once got stuck behind a sleepy cop behind the wheel. To stop him, the Creepy Trucker gently told him to get off the road... by ramming the police car with his truck. He accidentally rammed it too hard, causing the cop to fly off a cliff.Abe: Did you kill him?
Creepy Trucker: No. He's a cripple now. (Beat) He never drove while sleepy again, though.
- Hidden Depths: He appears to be a simple trucker, but he's actually the creator of the PXJTs, and all of the "trucker knowledge" he imparted to Ghandi were actually disguised academic lessons designed to prepare him for the test.
- Must Have Caffeine: Hes often seen slurping a cup of coffee.