Characters found in Clone High.
The clone of Abe Lincoln. A gangly, indecisive teenager who pines for Cleo while being entirely oblivious to the feelings of his best friend Joan. He's Weak-Willed, in stark contrast to his namesake.
- Anime Hair: In "Election Blu-Galoo", he spiked up his hair and dyed it blue.
- The Chew Toy: Between hitting his head on a tree branch due to his tall height, staying up until dawn studying and becoming sleep deprived in the vain hope of winning Cleo's affection, and having his face mangled multiple times by a "knork", Abe just can't seem to catch a break.
- Cool Loser: Tall, friendly, athletic, fairly handsome-looking, and is the clone of one of the most respected presidents, but not very high on the social hierarchy. If it wasn't for being so awkward and insecure he'd have no trouble winning the respect of his classmates.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Parodied. He's more upset about Cleo not wearing his Letterman's Jacket on TV as promised than he is about her grinding on Ashely Angel from O-Town.
- Cuckold: Abe would probably have more success with Cleo if he wasn't dating her. He even calls himself one to Ashley Angel.
- Dogged Nice Guy: To Cleo.
- Follow in My Footsteps: His number one goal is to live up to (or preferably exceed) the greatness of his well-beloved clone father.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Gandhi.
- Innocently Insensitive: To Joan on a regular basis, both with her feelings and her appearance.
- Just Friends: What he believes he and Joan are.
- Long Neck: A bit of a "gag neck" as well. He has a very pronounced Adam's apple, which makes his neck look rather bizarre, when his head's in certain positions.
- Love Epiphany: Realizes he's in love with Joan after seeing her face on Cleo's naked body.
- Messianic Archetype: In "Raisin the Stakes", he took on a lot of Jesus symbolism. When he became a hippie, he grew his hair out and wore a white robe.
- Nice Guy: In spite of all of his faults, he's a good person underneath.
- Oblivious to Love: Taken Up to Eleven and Parodied till it's nothing, to the point where he calls Joan's "fake infatuation bit" hilarious. Lampshaded in the finale when he asks Gandhi if she'd be interested in him and we get a minute and a half long montage of every time she's shown she had feelings for him.
- Of Course I Smoke: This attitude got him hooked on raisins.
- Official Couple: With Cleo from "Plane Crazy" onward. Or at least until "Changes".
- Salt and Pepper: Or "Salt and Cumin", in the case of his best friendship with Gandhi.
- Weak-Willed: In stark contrast to his original self, due to the pressure of living up to his legacy.
Abe's best friend who's in love with him, but to her frustration he fails to notice. The clone of Joan of Arc, like Gandhi she cracked under the pressure, becoming a goth as a result.
- Bare Your Midriff: She wears a short black top, which reveals her belly button.
- Beautiful All Along: Parodied, as she wasn't really unattractive to begin with before her makeover.
- The Confidant: For Abe.
- Deadpan Snarker: Against Gandhi and sometimes, Abe. It's also very hostile, when snarking at Cleo.
- Dogged Nice Guy: Towards Abe.
- Goth: Lightly. Doubles as a Stealth Pun, as the original Joan of Arc was loyal to Rome, and the original Goths sacked Rome. Joan's such a rebel.
- Hartman Hips: Has them.
- Hollywood Homely: In-Universe, Abe and Cleo treat her like this.
- Hopeless Suitor: Until the two-part finale anyways.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Helps Abe reunite with Cleo in "Plane Crazy".
- Nice Girl: Joan has become cynical and angst due to not being able to live up to the original Joan of Arc, but she cares deeply for Abe, and is an all around nice person.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Cleo
- Sweet Polly Oliver: As John Dark. Another Stealth Pun, as "John Dark" is how you would pronounce her real name, Jeanne d'Arc.
- Only Sane Man: One of the only two sane members of the main cast and the only one of the main teens with any common sense. As a result she's often ignored.
A high-five loving party animal who broke under the pressure of living up to the original Gandhi's legacy. He's constantly trying to be popular despite the fact that no one besides Abe and Marie Curie really likes him.
- Ambiguously Jewish: Despite his clonefather being a Hindu, Gandhi was raised by Jewish Foster Parents, who raised him with the Jewish treatment, though he doesn't seem to care about his religion in the slightest.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Has ADD and its hyperactive cousin, ADHD.
- Beta Couple: With Marie Curie towards the end of the show.
- Blatant Lies: Gandhi told Joan that he'd commit to the suicide hotline, but just skipped out on it to go to a party.
- The Chew Toy: Much like Abe, he is subjected to pain and humiliation on an almost daily basis. This includes getting stun gunned by Joan, painted nude by Van Gogh, attacked by piranhas in a moat, becoming fat and sick from eating too much "Extreme Blu!", jumping off the school's roof and breaking most of his teeth while making his student film with George Washington Carver, etc.
- Compressed Vice: The aforementioned ADD.
- Freudian Excuse: The pressure of living up to his predecessors legacy turned him into the idiot he is today.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: The only students who seem to talk to him on a regular basis are Abe and Marie Curie, though JFK pals around with him in two episodes.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Abe.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: When he became a pariah in "A.D.D.: The Last D is for Disorder".
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Can be a bit of a dick to people like Joan and Van Gogh, but is actually a nice guy, deep down.
- Jerkass: Gandhi acted like a Class-A dick, when he was working the suicide hotline.Gandhi: Man, that sucks. If I were you, I would probably kill myself. [laughs] Uh, hello? ... Hello?
- Life of the Party: Livened up JFK's party, by exposing Van Gogh's embarrassing, emotionally-rooted secrets to everybody.
- Non Sequitur, *Thud*: When getting tasered silly, he quoted "Egg Whites Only", before dropping to the ground. Also, when getting drunk, he said "Back to you, Kojak."
- Oblivious to Love: Didn't realize Marie Curie wanted to go out with him until it was too late though luckily he gets another chance with her next episode.
- Odd Friendship: With JFK in "Plane Crazy" and "Makeover Makeover Makeover".
- Piss-Take Rap: His brief career as G-Spot, due to the fact he considers saying the same word twice rapping.
- Plucky Comic Relief: Parodied.
- Skyward Scream: STAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
The clone of Cleopatra, a selfish, spoiled, vapid Alpha Bitch who's the object of Abe's affection.
- Alpha Bitch: She is a very selfish, snobby, cynical, vain, manipulative, pretentious and materialistic stereotypical school diva who cares only about her social image, beauty and popularity.
- Ambiguously Bi: Cleopatra is initially disgusted by nearly having sex with Joan (who she thought was a man)... before reconsidering and thinking it would've been hot.
- Ancient Egypt: Her clonemother's place of origin. She made this the main setting of her short film, "The Best of The Best of The Best of The Best of The Best".
- Attention Whore: Where would she be without her flourishing popularity?
- The Cheerleader: She is captain of the cheerleading team.
- Hartman Hips: Has one of the largest pair in the show.
- It's All About Me: She shows very little consideration for other people's feelings and believes she deserves to be treated like a queen among her peers.
- Jerkass: Incredibly selfish, thoughtless and outrigt cruel on occasion.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: There are fleeting moments where she actually cares about people other than herself. However, for the most part, she's very selfish.
- Likes Older Men: Not to say that she doesn't like men her age too, but she has no problems with getting down with men older than her.Abe: (while watching Cleo french kiss an old biker man in disgust) Geez that guy's like... fourty-five!
- Mood-Swinger: Uh..Uh..IM CLEOPATRA!
- Ms. Fanservice: Cleo is portrayed as seductive, hedonistic and libidinous. She wears often skimpy outfit and her regular outfit is a white tank top which shows her large cleavage and a tight black miniskirt to show her voluptuous figure.
- Official Couple: With JFK for the first half of the series and Abe for the second.
- Really Gets Around: She bursts into laughter when Abe talks about both of them losing their virginity together.
- Sleeps with Everyone but You: Cleo is unabashedly a slut, and even details a few incidents to Abe about other men, including a college guy she hooked up with and her dentist. However when it comes to Abe, their progress is agonizingly slow.
The clone of John F. Kennedy. A macho jock who believes his namesake was a "Macho womanizing stud who conquered the moon!" and strives to live up to that, as well as be incredibly masculine due to having gay foster dads.
- Accents Aren't Hereditary: For some reason, he has (an exaggeration of) the original JFK's accent, even though his foster parents don't (and the other clones don't have their genetic source's accent).
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Puts out albums every holiday that are apparently sold nation wide.
- The Bully: Likes to pick on his nerdier classmates.
- Creator Cameo: Voiced by one half of the creative team
- The Ditz: Acts rather clueless, despite apparently getting decent grades.
- Hypocrite: Got mad at Cleo for cheating on him with Abe, even though he was cheating on her with another girl at the time.
- Jerk Jock: Is by far the best athlete at Clone High, and a jerk to boot.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Genuinely bonds with Gandhi twice despite normally considering him a loser and tells Joan she's beautiful ESPECIALLY when she's not pretending to be a vapid slut in the finale. He also seems to genuinely love his gay foster dads.
- Mood-Swinger: I AM TECHNICALLY CALM!
- Mr. Fanservice: Widely considered to be one of the hottest guys at school.
- Testosterone Poisoning: May be overcompensating due to him living with gay foster dads.
- Verbal Tic: Says "er" and "ah" a lot as filler in typical Bostonian fashion.
Clone High Students
The clone of Gaius Julius Caesar, portrayed as an eloquent speaking dude bro, and the best friend of JFK.
The large-framed, extremely stupid, and possibly retarded clone of Ghengis Khan. He usually speaks in short, loud sentences.
- Asian Airhead: Epitomes this about as much as possible.
- Fat Idiot: So very much.
- Gag Penis: When walking in the men's locker room, he is accompanied by a sound resembling a boulder dragging across the floor. Joan's face is incredulous.
- Hidden Depths: Turns out to have an amazing singing voice when he sings Schubert's Ave Maria at Ponce's funeral.
The depressed, suicidal clone of Vincent Van Gogh. The "emo" kid of the school.
The latino clone of Jesus Christ. His biggest role is perhaps in episode 2 where he helps Joan. Jesús is an all-around Nice Guy who tells others to relax and dont worry too much about problems becauseGod has a plan for everyone.
- Divine Race Lift: Despite his clonefather being Middle Eas-(ahem)-... "white", Jesús Christo is Mexican.
- Holy Halo: Wears a false one.
- It Is Pronounced Tro Pay: It's not "Jee-ziss Kriyst", it's "Hay-Soos Kris-Doh".
- Messianic Archetype: The very model of one.
- Nice Guy: He seems like a pretty friendly guy.
- Real Men Love Jesus: Of course, he's going to be a religious wacko.
- Shop Class: Works here, to live up to his clonefather's carpentry.
The clone of Marie Curie who's been hideously deformed due to over-exposure to radiation.
A one-time character introduced and killed off in "Litter Kills: Litterally" (his introduction is so abrupt, in fact, that his death doesn't even get a spoiler tag). Ponce is JFK's best friend who every one looks up to. He enjoys littering, depite his foster dad being the school's janitor, but littering ultimately leads to his own death when he drowns in his own blood, head trapped in a plastic bag.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: He dies by drowning in his own blood.
- Killed Off for Real: The entire point of his character.
- Long-Lost Uncle Aesop: "Littering will kill you in a way most horrible."
- Remember the New Guy?: Mocked extensively.Julius Caesar: Oh, Ponce, you're a regular character!
- Tonight, Someone Dies: Again, the entire point of his character. Also mocked extensively.Narrator: Tonight, on a very special Clone High, one of the clones you've grown to love will be horribly killed! This is not some cheap-ass stunt where we lamely introduce a new character just to kill him off! A Clone dies tonight!" (As the Narrator talks, the camera cuts to each cast member, but Ponce is cut to more and more often as the speech goes on.)
Clone High Staff
The principal of Clone High who's secretly plotting to use the clones for a clone themed amusement park called Cloney Island. Is constantly up to some sort of scheme.
- Adults Dressed as Children: In "Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand" where he pretends to be a student in order to infiltrate one of their parties.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Traps all the clones and the entire Secret Board of Shadowy Figures (and John Stamos) in a freezer, where he puts them all on ice.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Has apparently had other schemes before Cloney Island that the board caught on too.
- CloudCuckoolander: To a degree, though he may just be insane.
- Creator Cameo: Voiced by one of the show's creators and producers.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: STAMOS!
- Also Skunky Poo.
- The Starscream: He plans to betray the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures and employ the clones for his own purposes.
- Stupid Evil: For Rule of Funny. His grand scheme is to hijack the clones, who have high intellect and talent. Then use them for a theme park.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Did you see that pool? They flipped the bitch!"
A robotic butler based on Mr. Belvedere. Principal Scudworth's sidekick, best friend and voice of reason. Has a habit of calling everyone Wesley.
- Affectionate Nickname: Scudworth calls him "Mr. B".
- Catchphrase: Wesley
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Principal Scudworth.
- Nice Guy: In contrast to Scudworth, he respects the students of Clone High.
- Only Sane Man: The voice of reason to Principal Scudworth.
- Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: In the series finale when the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures comes to take the clones away and terminate Scudworth.
- Ship Tease: Mr. Butlertron shared a romantic moment with Joan in the first episode. Joan hugged him and told him "I love you." and Mr. Butlertron got a antenna boner from it.
- Verbal Tic: "Wesley"
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Sheepman is a mixture of a sheep and a man.
- Absurdly Youthful Mother: Abe's mom looks almost young enough to be a teenager.
- Bumbling Dad: Abe's dad acted kind of stupid in "Makeover Makeover Makeover: The Makeover Episode", when he had a mental breakdown, telling him to fist Cleo up the ass, because she's so hot.
- Ephebophile: Abe's dad has these tendencies, seeing as how he described Cleopatra.
- Good Parents: In "Raisin the Stakes", Abe's parents handled their son's drug addiction with responsibility and did a good job at getting him to kick his habit.
- Happily Married: To each other.
- No Name Given: Neither their first or last names have been revealed.
- It's possible that due to them being the parents of Abe, they underwent the names "Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln"., as Abe kept his last name, upon his adoption.
- Standard '50s Father: Abe's dad is a parody on this.
Joan of Arc's "foster grandpa". Toots is a blind man with good intentions, he can sometimes provide helpful insights on Joan's problems, but most of the time just says things irrelevant to the situation at hand as he stumbles around like Mr. Magoo.
- Blind Mistake: Constantly.
- Blind Seer: A parody of one, anyways. Though on occasion he can miraculously pull some actually relevant advice out of nowhere. He's also a whiz at basketball.
- Bumbling Dad: Bumbling Granddad actually. He means well, but he overestimates what he's capable of.
- Catchphrase: "Now I may be blind..."
- Eye Scream: It appears he's blind because he doesn't actually have any eyes.
- Magical Negro: Parodied.
- Whoopi Epiphany Speech: Subverted all the time.
Cleo's Drunk Foster Mom is, well, Cleo's drunk foster mom. Never without a drink in her hand, she's either verbally or physically abusive to Cleo (not that it seems to bother her) and lets Joan and Toots move in with them because she's dating Toots.
- Abusive Parents: Tends to throw things at Cleo when she runs out of alcohol.
JFK's foster parents, Wally and Carl. Wally is a slight Camp Gay and Carl is a blatant Straight Gay. They're known for being two of the more supportive foster parents seen on the show. Well, Wally is, at least.