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Works with their own pages:
- Ace Combat: Equestria Chronicles
- Advice and Trust
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- Adventures of Mario and Sonic
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- Agent Loki: International Man of Mayhem
- Alexandra Quick
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- All You Need Is Love
- Alone, Together
- The Alternate Adventures Of The Power Ponies
- Alternative Gods
- Ambience: A Fleet Symphony
- And Around Again – A Cinderella Phenomenon Tale
- And The Meek Shall Inherit The Galaxy
- And The Story Continues
- The Annoying Mole A Hetalia Trollfic
- Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society
- Applied Cultural Anthropology
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- ARTICLE 2
- Avatar Of Victory
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- Bag Enders
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- Be Careful
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- Beyond the Outer Gate Lies...
- Big Human On Campus
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- Book 5: Legends
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- A Boy, a Girl and a Dog: The Leithian Script
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- A Brief History of Equestria
- Bringing Out the Blue
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- The Bug-Type Queen
- Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
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- C'est la Vie
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- Common Sense
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- Conquest Quest
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- D Reincarnation
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- A Date with the Drum Major
- DC Nation
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- A Demon Among Devils
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- The Detective and the Diplomat
- The Diary Of Glynda Goodwitch
- Diamond in the Rough (Touhou)
- A Different Kind of Truth
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- Doctor Whooves – The Series
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- Dragon Ball Multiverse
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- It's not the Raptor DNA
- I Won't Say
- Just An Unorthodox Thief
- Just A Random Tuesday
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- Life In 16 Flavors
- Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami
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- Mobile Fighter Evangelion
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- My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic
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- My Immortal
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- My Little Denarians
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- My Stupid Reality
- Nareto: The Scret of Shiobi
- Naruto: the Secret Songs of the Ninja
- Ned Stark Lives
- Neither a Bird, nor a Plane, it's Deku!
- Negaverse Chronicles
- Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide
- Nerve Damage
- Never Had A Friend Like Me
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- The New Retcons
- Nicktoons Tales
- Nobody Dies
- Nobody Dies: Six AIs One Continent
- No Gods, Only Guns
- The North Remembers
- The Official Unofficial Ouendan EBA Formspring RP
- Of Love and Bunnies
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- Oh Rhonda
- Ojamajo Doremi: Rise of the Shadows
- The Omniverse Event
- Once Again
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- One Foot – Another Multiverse SI
- One Less Lonely Gurl
- One Piece: Parallel Works
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- On Strange Wings
- Opal, Sapphire, Ruby, and STEVEN!
- The Parselmouth of Gryffindor
- Past Sins
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- Pink Personal Hell And Altering Fate
- Plankton's Eye View
- Point of Succession
- Pokédex Adventures
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- Pokemon Black And White Tale Of A Legend
- Pokémon Reset Bloodlines
- The Pokémon Squad
- Policing Middle Earth
- Pony POV Series
- PostMU: Life's a Scream!
- Power Rangers GPX
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- Powers of Invisibility
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- Protoculture Effect
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- RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse
- Random Doom
- Rapunzel Goes Home
- Razors Edge
- React Watch Believe Yikes
- Redaction Of The Golden Witch
- Reimagined Enterprise
- The Reprint And Repackaging Of Evangelion
- Re Revenge Of The Island An Alternate Reality
- Respect A Woman
- Resuscitatio Artium Magicarum
- The Retelling of Pokémon Colosseum
- Review Team 1: The Rise of Golus
- Robb Returns
- Roman's Empire
- Rosario Vampire: Brightest Darkness
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- RWBY: Reckoning
- Ryuugi's The Games We Play
- The Saga of Avatar Korra
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- Say It Thrice
- Scar Tissue
- Scott Pilgrim Vs Snow Flower And The Secret Hall Pass
- Sean Bean Saves Westeros
- Separation Anxiety
- Seven Days In Sunny June
- TEH SCREAMING OF THE LAMBS
- The Second Try
- The Second Hand Fool
- The Secret Life of Dolls
- The Secret Life of the Backyard Kids
- Selleck Waterfall Sandwich
- Seraviel's Manager
- Series Thirty and Three Quarters
- Seven Days Survivor
- Seven Years As A Hufflepuff
- A Shadow of the Titans
- Shadows And Light
- Shadows Awakening
- The S.H.I.E.L.D. Codex
- Shinji And Warhammer 40 K
- The Shinji Ikari Raising Project
- Shinnen New Year
- The Shoebox Project
- A Shot in the Dark
- Silent Ponyville Chronicles
- Silver And Bronze: The Conspiracy Of The Shapeshifter
- Six Days the Animorphs Were Idiots
- Slightly Damned: Wind of Redemption and Rebirth
- A Snake Named Voldemort
- A Snowflake In Spring
- A Spark of Ice and Fire
- Superman of 2499: The Great Confrontation
- Superwomen of Eva 2: Lone Heir of Krypton
- Superwomen of Eva 2: Blue Defiance
- Solitary Pinion
- Sonic Boom Legends
- Son of the Desert
- Son Of The Seven Kingdoms
- Soul Chess
- Souls Art Online
- Souls Reborn
- Spectacular Seven
- The Spellbook
- Spiders and Magic: Rise of Spider-Mane
- The Stalking Zuko Series
- Starfleet Redone
- The Starless Road
- Starlight Over Detrot
- Stars Above
- Stealing Harry
- The Steep Path Ahead
- A Sticky Situation
- Stories and Tales from Dimension 63
- Story of the Century
- Strike Witches Quest
- A Study in Regret
- Sugar Rush: Rival Racing
- Sunshine and Fire
- Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God
- Swimming in Terror
- System Restore
- Tails of the Old Republic
- The Tainted Grimoire
- Tainted Ideals
- Takamachi Nanoha Of 2814
- Taking Sights
- A Tale of Transmigration
- Tales of Bleach: Unreal Society
- Tamers Forever Series
- Tangled Adventures In Arendelle
- Teaching Darkness
- Teach Me How to Win (or Live)
- Tengen Toppa Gurren Solvernia
- The Tangled Princess Bride
- Team 8
- That Epic Plan
- Thats Why They Call It The Present
- Thawing Permafrost
- The Strex Family
- Thieves Can Be Heroes!
- Things We Don't Tell Humans
- Thirty Hs
- This Bites!
- This Present Darkness
- Thomas Abridged
- Thousand Shinji
- Threadbare South Park
- Tiberium Wars
- Time Mix Up
- To Aruverse Rewrite Project
- To Be a (Miraculous) Master
- Total Drama Alpha Kidz
- Total Drama Brains VS Brawns
- Total Drama Comeback Series
- Total Drama Do Over
- Total Drama Equestria
- Total Drama Letterz
- Total Drama Refresh
- Total Drama Stranded
- Total Drama Switcheroo
- Total Drama Tweenabet
- Total Drama Tween Tour
- Total Magic Pony Island
- Toy Hammer
- Trials of the God-Harem King
- The Translation in Blood
- The Truth Decays
- Turnabout Storm
- TSA The Amazing Spiderman
- Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre
- Twilight Unbound
- Unequally Rational And Emotional
- The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine
- Uninvited Guests
- Universe Falls
- Unwelcome Storms Hunter
- The Vampire of Steel
- Vanishing Act
- Vault Hunters Wanted
- A Very Muppets Mystery
- The Vinyl Scratch Tapes
- The Walking Dead: Real Monsters
- Walking in the Shadow of Dreams
- Water Under the Bridge
- Weasley Girl
- The Weedverse
- Weiss Reacts
- We're All Doomed
- We Were Young Once
- When in Doubt, Obliviate
- White Devil of the Moon
- A Wild Badfic Appeared! Commentaries
- Without A Hive
- With Strings Attached
- With This Ring
- The Wizard in the Shadows
- A World of Laughter, a World of Tears
- The World without the War
- The Worm Protocol
- Yet again, with a little extra help
- Young Justice: Darkness Falls
- Young Justice Titans
- YU-GI-OH GX: Sleeping Beauty
- Shattered Darkness
- Zero 2 A Revision
- Zulu Squad No Tsukaima
- Blackadder 40k: Tales from the Black Millennium, a Blackadder/Warhammer 40,000 crossover: Percy (now a Sanctioned Psyker) causes Noise Marines to break down or commit suicide by singing Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".
- From the Harry Potter and Star Wars Crossover Broken Chains:
Hermione: We were attending to personal business, Headmaster. We are legal adults now, and must attend to adult responsibilities occasionally.Dumbledore: And where would your business take you?SithLord!Harry: I was planning the orbital bombardment of Canada. I've determined that they represent a direct threat against my growing Empire.
- The BronyCon Reevaluation: where the The Big Bang Theory gang attend a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic convention is full of funny moments typical of the former show, from Raj attempting to force Sheldon to attend by giving him the Stare while dressed as Fluttershy to John de Lancie claiming to have no memory of who Wil Wheaton is, but what takes the cake has to be this exchange towards the end:
Sheldon: Is Nicole Oliver here?Leonard: Yeah, she's over there signing autographs. Why?Sheldon: I want to ask her why she made the mind-boggling decision to vocally portray Princess Celestia as a warm, benevolent, motherly figure, despite the fact that her dialogue as written and other characters' responses to her clearly indicate that the character is meant to be played as sadistic, manipulative, tyrannical, and sociopathic. (heads over to booth as the others try to stop him)Leonard: (holding up hand) No...let him do it.Raj: Let him do it? Leonard, where have you been? Every time someone shares that absurd interpretation of the glorious, kind-hearted, and gorgeous Princess Celestia, Nicole Oliver messes them up.Bernadette: The actress who plays Celestia messes people up?Howard: Yeah, it never ends well for those poor saps. It's why the fandom can't have nice things.Leonard: Exactly. That's why we should let him go. I have surprisingly few regrets about Sheldon, but most prominent among them is that I wasn't quick enough on my feet to get a recording when he got punched by Bill Gates, and that I wasn't there when he got nerve-pinched by Leonard Nemoy. (takes out phone and begins recording) I am not going to miss him getting bro-hoofed in the jaw by Nicole Oliver.(beat)Howard: ...I want to see that happen.Penny: Yeah, let's see that.
- Copycat, a Buffy/Marvel crossover, has a scene where Reed Richards acknowledges an area where Doctor Doom is his superior- aesthetics and fashion- as part of a Batman Gambit to avoid the classic unwinnable husband situation. Cue Doom giving fashion advice to Susan and Alicia.
"Foolish peasant," Doom roared, "it is obvious that the dear Alicia is a fall not a winter!"
- The G.I. Joe/Alien vs. Predator crossover fic Corazones y Cazadores features a hilarious Perp Sweating scene. Scarlett needs to get information from the Dreadnok Buzzer, who isn't cooperating despite just barely surviving an Xenomorph attack. Snake-Eyes proceeds to make menacing hand gestures while reaching for his swords. Scarlett keeps telling him that what he's suggesting is "against the Geneva Convention!" In reality, they're talking about baseball.
- From the Batman/Sin City crossover, A Dark Knight over Sin City:
Joker: [trying to stab Marv with a syringe filled with toxin] Don't be afraid. It's only a little prick.Marv: I don't care what you got in your pants, pal! [punch]
- A Strawberry Panic!/Family Guy crossover (seriously!) called "Everybody Loves Yaya" had some really hysterical ones (it also has a sequel, "Yaya for President"):
- Tsubomi finding Brian's pot stash and getting high.
- Yaya, of all people, beats the crap out of and kills(!) Ernie the Giant Chicken!
- Amane teams up with Stewie to save Hikari from Kaname in a hilarious Neon Genesis Evangelion shoutout. How it backfires is even funnier.
- Quagmire teaching Tamao how to be a Pervert. Overlaps with Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when he helps her hook up with Chiyo, and by the time he finally leaves, his exit is hilarious.
- Tamao actually manages to steal Kaname's bra (right off her chest) in a display of perverted awesome.
- And Quagmire tops that by successfully groping Shizuma and liberating her of her bra!
- In the sequel, Peter gives an awesome speech defending Yaya's decision to get a tattoo. Has a really funny line where he hilariously lampshades No Bisexuals.
- Funny and Serious has Joker teasing Skeleton King about being the creator of the Monkey Team.
Joker: You created the Monkey Team?Skeleton King: No! My pathetic human side made these filthy primates.Joker: Ha ha ha ha. Right. You said your human side created them. Therefore, it must mean you created them to protect the universe from yourself. Looks like you're foiling yourself.Skeleton King: No, it doesn't count.Joker: Oh, yes it is.Skeleton King: No, it doesn't!Joker: Yes, it does.Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: Yes!Skeleton King: No!Joker: No!Skeleton King: Yes!Joker: No!Skeleton King: Yes!Joker: No!Skeleton King: Yes!Joker: No!Skeleton King: I say yes and that's final!Joker: Okay, Skelly, have it your way. That's the final decision.Joker walks away as Skeleton King realizes what he just said.Skeleton King: Hey, that's not fair! Take that back!
- The Gameverse is a Glee series where the characters become contestants on reality shows, while the first one, Survivor isn't focused on humour for most of the game the finale, the final tribal council, the reunion show, and the announcement of teams for The Amazing Race, is one CMOF after another.
- The Amazing Race version has a lot of funny moments, and it's just got to the half way point, April and Josh Groban's entire one leg spent with April drunk due to the free alcohol she got on the plane, Shelby and Jesse's elimination, and Blaine's completely awesome meltdown wherein he calls out Rachel, his partner for the race, for being so completely egotistical, Quinn for being manipulative, and yells at Mike and Tina to get personalities are the highlights.
- The Ghost Child and the Ghostbusters, a crossover between Danny Phantom and The Real Ghostbusters has a very particular scene when the titular team first arrives on Amity Park. The OC ghost Danny was facing, Electo-Ghost, was confident in his fight with Danny until the Ghostbusters arrived, and weighed his options; admit defeat and let Danny suck him in his Ecto Thermos, or let the very humans that beaten down all kinds of mythos from werewolves to gods most likely suck him up into a device that no ghost has ever got out of again. Needless to say, the ghost was not very tact...
- Electo-Ghost: (grabs Danny) Take me! Take me away now! Please don't let them take me! Where's that Thermos thing?!Danny: H-hey, stop! What do you think you're doing?Electo-Ghost: (fiddles with Thermos) Come on, come on, how do you get this thing to work?! (activates it and laughs as he's sucked inside)Danny: O-kay... That was definitely a new one on me. (To the Ghostbusters) Uh... hi?Peter: (team express just as much confusion) Any thoughts?Ray: Yeah... one down and one to go. Blast him!
- There is also the fact that when Danny reveals his identity to them several chapters later, he is bummed out they aren't very amazed or spooked. Given the entirety of the list of supernatural things they've faced before hand, even a half-human half-ghost is not really beyond the Ghostbuster's radar of weird.
- The Grand Tour Series, a Nanoha-centered megacrossover, has a one-shot where the Top Gear (UK) crew does a special episode on Mid-Childa after Earth makes formal public contact. A special including Magical Girl Stig-Chan.
- Harry Potter and the Eagle of Truthiness. Just... just wow. Stephen Colbert becomes the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and proceeds to turn the class into an episode of The Colbert Report. The result? Best. Teacher. Ever.
- From Harry Potter and the Power of the Dark Side:
Professor Snape: As for you, Mr. Potter... Fired curse or no, your actions were a disgrace to the house of Slytherin, and you will serve a detention with me on Saturday, cleaning cauldrons and rethinking how you should have handled the situation...Professor Snape: You will not... Wait, what did you do to me?!
- This crossover between Harry Potter and the Justice League (among others) has quite a few, but the best is when Dumbledore gives a shout-out to The Question.
Hermione: Why do you have wards against Aglets?Dumbledore: (dead serious) Do not say their names. Their true purpose... is sinister. (one of the instruments in Dumbledore's office creates an ominous flash of lightning in the background.)
- And then there's this:
Snape: (On Harry's adoption by Danny & Tess Ocean, with Mad-eye as adoptive grandparent) You should have taken him back to his muggle relative once you'd found him. Not raised him with some yankee ponce and a crackpot conspiracy theorist.Dumbledore: (confused) I got the impression that Tess was of rather sound mind.
- And then there's this:
- In Harry Potter and the Mystic Force, the Mystic Force Rangers, challenged to a game of Quidditch against Hogwarts' best, stun the crowd by indulging in a pre-game serenade of "We Will Rock You."
- In the Crossover He'll Never Be My Son, when Medusa tells her partner Orochimaru that she wants to conceive a child, his first thought is to ask her if she's been drinking to come up with that idea.
- Cordelia's verbal owning of the officer questioning her in The Hell-er-Nator: Chaos Machine has the other police struggling not to laugh.
Cordelia: "I thought Mayor Wilkins screened his lackeys at least for basic reading and comprehension skills, even if not for independent thought."Chief Munroe: "Now you look here, you-"Cordelia: "Yes? Really, Chief Munroe. I'd explain it to you again, but the arresting officers took away my hand puppets and crayons."
- In Death Note and Lupin III crossover story, idiot, Misa talks to Fujiko about seeing her at a jewel store last night and started to make comments like wearing a catsuit that she doesn't complete zip up and acting like a weirdo in that outfit as if she's planning to rob the place or something. Fujiko started to sweat at this. The bright side for her is that Misa thinks of what she's doing is a rehearsal for a play of her own with her "co-stars" Lupin, Jigen, Goemon, and Zenigata.
I'm just lucky Misa's a total idiot. It's like I dodged another bullet.
- A few in Kitsune On Campus, a Naruto and Mahou Sensei Negima! crossover. Some of the standouts include the entire class believing Naruto has just had a threesome with Mana and Keade, and is now planning a Five way; Negi and Naruto listing in detail why certain members of the class are cute, in front of the class. Chisame's reactions really makes it; rather recently there was, well, The Kissing Incident Up to Eleven. Finally we have pretty much all of the Eva and Naruto interactions. All of them. A stand out is when Naruto's hand accidently lands on Eva's chest:
"Flat," Naruto muttered."What. Did. You Say?""I-I-I'm gonna die for that, aren't I?""Yeah, and it is going to be slow and painful.""Would it help if I said I was sorry?""No," Eva responded flatly."Okay. Would it help if I told you that I had video of you bugging out when Zero-chan called you mummy, you getting into a fight over Negi, and your face when I explained what I had to do to get my Master, all of which would be distributed around the school?"
- Though the rest of the story is pretty bland, there is one amazing moment in the Harry Potter/Bleach crossover The Muggle With White Hair. Fred and George have dragged Toshiro to Quidditch tryouts against his will, and when Toshiro refuses to mount a broom, they comment about how he's probably too fragile to play a rough sport like Quidditch. Hyorinmaru then snarks "Need some ice for that burn, Toshiro?"
- In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Teen Titans story Latch Key Kids, Robin (at Beast Boy's/Xander's prompting) responds to a message from Batman with a smiley face, using the justification that "He's the world's greatest detective; he'll figure it out." Batman replies with a message written in hieroglyphs.
- The Lyrical Nanoha/Ranma ½ crossover Nanoha 1/2 gives a threefold Crowning Moment to Ranma near the end of the Nanoha Classic arc, when Precia claims the last of the Jewel Seeds and starts on her Motive Rant to Fate and the TSAB. Moments after she starts talking, Genma notices that Ranma has disappeared from the Asura's bridge just as Lindy's troops move in to aprehend Precia. Precia, naturally, nukes the Red Shirts and keeps ranting, only for Ranma to make his reappearance. The AWESOME is how he slipped off the bridge, through the teleporter, and into the Garden of Time, dodged an area of effect spell potent enough to put down several squads of TSAB Space Marines and then escaped Precia's notice as long as he did. The FUNNY was stealing the Jewel Seeds literally out from under Precia's nose ("Yoink!") and then running away with them, Miyazaki Nodoka-style. The HEARTWARMING was how this affected Fate, who snaps out of the Heroic B.S.O.D. she'd been going into and manages to crack a smile despite everything she'd been put through in the last two minutes.
- From the Death Note and The House of Night crossover No Hoper Light has the following exchange with his new talking cat Familiar (who's personality is indeed very familiar):
Light: You know what? I'm going to name you.Cleo: 'Name me'? What do I need a name for? I am the best, how can anyone not know who I am? And you, what do you need a name for? You are so recognizable, you are unforgettable!Light: And what's that supposed to mean?Cleo: Nothing. I just think names are stupid. All you need to know is that you are a can-opener, and I am the Great-I-Am!Light: Well, you deserve a name, you know, one that doesn't invoke cries of 'blasphemy'.
- This fanfiction. It's a blend of Naruto and Ocarina of Time, and is one long Crowning Moment of Funny. It's hard to explain if you haven't read it, but it's one of the best crossovers/parodies that I've seen. Just... Read it, please? I'll be over here. Dying from a lack oxygen form laughing so hard...
- Ow My Sanity is a fusion of the Cthulhu Mythos and Ah! My Goddess. Observe this first meeting of the Belldandy stand-in and the potential Sayoko stand-in.
- In The Return after snapping out of a rather disturbing Daydream Surprise which has Usagi's severed head presented to some Russian Cyborg Mercs only to explode in their hands Sailor Darkstar (Ranma) just stares at Usagi's head and we have this line:
"Oh, just wondering how big that brain of yours is ... just thinking about how many explosives I could fit up there". (It's funnier in context).
- From Riddick, a Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Riddick Fusion Fic, a kidnapped Luna has this to say when Voldemort threatens Neville:
Luna: To pursue my husband, Mr. Riddle is to pursue an arse-whooping of grand proportions. You shall learn this soon.
- In Sephiroth Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Sephiroth!Harry critiques Umbridge's teaching style:
Sephiroth!Harry: So, you're saying that there are no vampires, werewolves, nundu, dementors or anything else out there in the world that wants to hurt us. I'd think someone that fought so hard to add new creature legislation would know better. Not only that, if our course is to be taught in this manner from here on, then you are crippling the Ministry and the economy. A NEWT in Defense is required for Auror training, Curse Breaking, and all sorts of other positions. Some of which you are asserting that we need to rely on to keep us safe. So, which is it? Are you a patriot – training us to meet and exceed the standards set by the Ministry, or are you a traitor – weakening it from within?(McGonagall reviews Harry's detention slip)Sephiroth!Harry: Yes, professor.
- Xander accidentally convinces the Amazons of Themyscira and Bana-Mighdall that Twinkies are the food of the gods in A Spark of Genius. Several chapters later, an offhand mention of how readily a sacrifice consisting of a box of Twinkies was accepted implies the gods agree.
- Later Xander pulls several pranks on Superman to pay back Mxyzptlk for a favor the latter did. Said pranks include sending all the women at the Daily Planet a set of lead-lined underwear and a letter suggesting Superman is using his X-ray vision to peep on them, filling Lois Lane's bedroom with thousands of Furbys, stealing the batmobile and leaving it in Superman's apartment, wrapping Perry's office in saran-wrap before filling it with water and swordfish, bugging the Daily Planet with hundreds of devices that beep intermittently, and making Superman buy ice-cream for a group of kids.
- A Study in Magic has Hogwarts this gem.
Miss Jackie: "If by definition a Muggle or a Squib is someone who neither has the ability to generate or use magic, could it be their very person is a magical insulator or a grounder? I wondered why Hogwarts always had an honorable resident Squib. The practice dates back to the four founders, but no explanation was given in the history books. But if you think about the physical properties of magic, you could postulate magic will act more erratically in magic-rich environs without a Squib or a Muggle to ground it down. In other words, you might owe it to Mr. Filch for your ability to harness your magic so quickly and well here in Hogwarts."Filch: "HEARD THAT? You brats only get to do any magic at all here because of me! ME!
- The Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer story Sum of Their Parts has Glory and her entourage take Cameron Kim disguised as Dawn to Lawndale High so they can open the portal to Glory's hell dimension. They encounter Kevin, who works there as a janitor, but when Glory tries to brainsuck him... nothing.
- The Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann / Sonic the Hedgehog crossover Tengen Toppa Freedom Emerl has an "interesting" rendition of Lagann-hen's hacking scene.
- Harry Potter/ The Saga of Darren Shan crossover Vampires and Wizards gives us this:
'Who was that?' Harry asked.'Who was what?' Darren blinked.'The little guy in the robes.''What little guy in robes?''The one you were just talking to!''I was talking to a little guy in robes?''Yes! Who was he?''Who was who?''The little guy in robes!''What little guy in robes?''Darren! You were talking to a little guy in robes! Who was he?''I don't know what you're talking about. Are you sure you're not mad?''I- DARREN.'
- From the Death Note and Batman Crossover Vigilante:
Light settled into one of the Lay-Z-Boy chairs in the Batcave and finished hacking into Batman’s secret files.
Ryuk munched on a bowl of apple chips and played Mario Cart. “Hey, this is kind of fun, Light.”
“There’s only one thing that Batman did wrong. He went too easy on the criminals.”
“What do you mean,” Ryuk asked while picking up another handful of apple chips.
“Take any of his major nemeses for example. The Joker, Mr. Penguin, The Riddler. He always captures them alive, and then they escape, and blow things up and kill innocent civilians just to piss Batman off. Light twirled the pen in his fingers. “Now imagine Batman killed one of them instead.''''“Of course, Superman does the same with Lex Luthor. You’d think he enjoys outsmarting him or something.”
Ryuk laughed. “Isn’t that kind of like you and L?”
Light whirled around in his chair to glare at Ryuk. “No, Ryuk, the situations are nothing alike. I plan on killing L as soon as I find out who he is.” Light paused to open another file on the computer. “But only if he’s a threat to me. And maybe now he wont be.”“Hyuk. I wonder what he’s gonna do when he finds out you left the country.”
Light gave the Shinigami another brief glare. “Ryuk, there is nothing even remotely suspicious about a genius receiving a scholarship to study in another country. But let’s see. I can kill off a few of Batman’s villains and save innocents.”
“Hey, but I thought you were going to play Batman. Doesn’t that mean you’re gonna dress up in the suit and cape and ride around in the Batmobile? I could ride in the Batmobile with you.”
“I want to ride in the Batmobile.”
Sayu: So what's America like? Does everyone there look like they do in the movies?Light: Of course not, Sayu.Sayu: I saw this TV program last week, well, actually my friend and I were searching online for information on America, since I told her that you're studying there, and we found this one show where everyone was really fat since there's so much food there. Is it really like that? Hey, what if you get fat too, since you're living there? Do you have to eat a lot of hamburgers? Do you have to eat bread with every meal instead of rice?Light: Sayu-Sayu: Do you have a girlfriend yet? Is she fat? Is it true that they have so many guns in America that everyone has to own one and learn how to use them? I heard they even sell guns in the grocery stores. Did you learn to use a gun yet?Light: Yes. I've practiced shooting a few.Sayu: MOM! Light's learning how to use GUNS in America!
- From the same fic, Sayu has some questions about her brother's studying abroad in America:
- In the Code Geass and Death Note Crossover Zero Vs Kira, Ryuk describes his trouble crossing the dimensions.
Ryuk:Yeah, but it's a hassle because some Shinigami from the other realms don't always take kindly to visits. The Shinigami in the last dimension chased me around with swords. They even called me names. I don't know why they called me 'hollow', but I didn't like it.
- This glorious crack/parody entry in the "Most Implausible Sex Scene Contest", featuring Julius Caesar x the GEICO Gecko.
Kneeling down, Julius took the magical creature's face in his hands. “Ever since I first saw you, my heart went doki doki, and now that you've come into your magical inheritance and become a bishounen, I just couldn't hold back.”
- In Overlady while waiting for a contact in a shady tavern, Louise Francois keeps being approached by groups looking for a different figure in a dark hooded robe. Especially bad is when she accidentally gives the counter-phrase one group wanted while telling them to go away.
- In the Naruto/Magic: The Gathering crossover story, Spark of Creation Naruto writes porn about several of the various Planeswalkers. Vraska's reaction to Liliana's and Garruk's book (Beast and Beauty) is pure gold.
Vraska: (Directed at Garruk) "Hello beautiful."
- In Chaos Effect: The Fleet of Chaos the Systems Alliance wipes out most of a Turian fleet using Star Trek technology and the Council tries to figure out what to do next when faced with a technologically superior race that doesn't use any Element Zero.
Aventus: "Ah yes, the 'warp drive'. We have dismissed that claim."
Xanathan: "Aventus, are you snorting red sand off an asari stripper's ass?"
Tevos: "That's enough out of both of you. Once they arrive, we'll have them do the same as every other race that has joined us. They'll give us their technology and lower their fleet count to our standards."
Tevos: "Yes, Xanathan."
Xanathan: "Same question."
- The Fairy Tail/Gravity Falls crossover Titania Falls has many funny scenes, but the thing that takes the cake is Stan's speech at Jellal's intervention.
Stan: Look Jellal you can't keep beating yourself about your crimes. I've known Erza for 15 years. And when she moved to California she could have totally cut me off. But she didn't, we talked to each other over the phone at least once a month, we sent cards and letters. She doesn't care about my long string of crimes, because that's how much she cares about me…
(Erza smiles at Stan)
Stan: Now I haven't committed murder or treason like you did, but what I lack in quality of the crime I make up for in quantity. I've committed small crimes such as petty theft or tax fraud to more interesting crimes such as Pug Trafficking or impersonating a dentist. In fact I even invented my own crime burglebezzlement... it's where you…
Makarov(interupting Stan):I think that's enoguh Stan… You made your point…
(Everyone stares at Stan in shock)
Laxus: See that's why we brought in Stan…
(Jellal's eye twitches)
Probabilitor: Now! (points to Levy) You!
- When Probabilitor has Dipper, Levy, Freed and Ford hostage this happens:
Levy: What do you want from me?
Probabilitor: I have never eaten a girl's brain before... So I'm kind of new at this.
Probabilitor(awkwardly): So... uh... hi... Um... how are you...?
- After Ford returns from the portal he is burning some papers that he fears will fall into the wrong hands. However one of them gets away from him and Mabel reads it out loud and it's not what you would expect...
- Reading The Unrelenting Frozen Seas is about the Greek Gods and their demigod children reading a crossover between their world and Harry Potter, with the Gender Flip version of Harry being Poseidon's daughter and a friend to Thalia. Her love life is quite hotly debated, with Leo entering in Die for Our Ship-mode when a potential Love Interest is introduced.
Leo: If he does seduce her, at least let him die off so Thalia can console her.Jason: Leo!Leo: The OTP cannot be denied.
- As for Poseidon, the mere idea of his daughter falling in love is enough to induce frothing rage. Zeus tries to hold it over his head and promptly gets reminded his daughters are virgin and immortal. Looks like daddy doesn't like his baby girls suffering...
- Right Place, Right Time has Ryoga Hibiki get so lost he crosses dimensions and ends up at the scene of Yamcha fighting Androids 19 and 20. Hilarity Ensues:
- Upo realizing the two Androids are a threat, Ryoga attacks them, even starting to spam the the Shishi Hōkōdan when normal attacks fail, only to make the situation worse due 19's Energy Absorption... Except 19's absorbing ki infused with depression. Even Ryoga starts laughing when he realizes just why 19 ran away crying...
- The final effect of Ryoga on 19: he turned him into a writer of depressed poems, and they're so bad Tenshinhan starts seriously considering that Trunks actually came back in time to warn them about that.
- But what about 17 and 18... Turns out Ryoga already activated them and 16 months ago... And gave them directions. As Ryoga is explaining this, they're being hired to fight the Dark Kingdom in exchange for the trip back home.
- Upo realizing the two Androids are a threat, Ryoga attacks them, even starting to spam the the Shishi Hōkōdan when normal attacks fail, only to make the situation worse due 19's Energy Absorption... Except 19's absorbing ki infused with depression. Even Ryoga starts laughing when he realizes just why 19 ran away crying...
- In the How to Train Your Dragon fanfic Family Meeting, memories of the adult vikings of Berk take an interesting turn when it's mentioned that Valka liked to run barefoot as a child. She gets a bit embarrassed when that is brought up. Too bad the other adults have told their children...
- The Narm-riddled Indecisive Parody Redwall In-Name-Only fanfic Soulless Shell features this immortal line:
- First Impressions, a Gorillaz UST Slash Fic, has the immortal line "Oh yeah, denthead, you know whose bitch you really are." (For context, a frightened 2D just glomped Murdoc instead of Paula, who was also in the room.)
- Heroes In A Chatroom. In one scene, we see Candice, Sylar, and the Haitian discussing the issue of illegal immigration.
NikiMM: Say, Micah, there R only two computers in the house. how R U on?GeniousBoy01101: Now there are 3GeniousBoy01101: BTW, we need a new toaster
- These two Merlin RPS fics. Just about every line. The ending of the first one doubles as Crowning Moment Of Heart Warming. (The first one contains M Preg... be forewarned).
- The entire Anything Goes Martial Arts Baseball Game from Ranma 1/2 fic Girl days.
As the Black Rose fumed at this most preposterous of humiliations, a heated argument began between the two team captains. Ranma's captain insisted that the ball had been caught on a pop-fly,so Shampoo was out. Shampoo's captain insisted that Kodachi wasn't on the team, wasn't in the game, and wasn't even in the school, so the ball was live. The umpire was beating her head against a tree and saying something about moving to Australia.
- Curtain Call is not a particularly profound Discworld fanfic, and there isn't much substance beyond the concept (a Vetinari/Death Curtain Fic?), but one line works particularly well:
"We'll take this one," he said to the salesgirl hovering a few yards away, looking like she had been seriously contemplating her mortality in the last half an hour. Vetinari tended to have that effect on people.
- Sex No Tensai, a silly The Prince of Tennis fic about Momoshirou and Kaidoh competing to see who can lose his virginity first, has the following gems. (Really, the whole thing is hysterical, and if you can stomach slash, you should give it a read.)
- (Kaidoh is acting strangely, due to the bet, and, when questioned, blurts out that he is doing poorly in math.) Inui: "Ah, that explains everything. I often behave erratically when I am experiencing the trauma of unsolvable equations."
- (Last line of the fic) Momoshirou: "I hope Inui-senpai brews homemade lube and your ass falls off."
- In the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann fanfic Tengen Gattai Gurren Lagann, Kamina survived and all sorts of hell is raised. Of note is the chapter where Lordgenome decides the best way to defeat the Gurren-Dan is to imitate...And sends a revamped Gunzar equipped with inverted Kamina shades and a pilot with a grudge, who then botches every single on of Kamina's catchphrases. Kamina is so insulted that Gurren's jaw almost falls off in shock.
- Also notable is when Leeron accidentally drugs Kamina, and he spends the rest of the chapter high as a kite.
- In Chapter 22 of the Door Stopper Kung Fu Panda fic A Different Lesson, Po is walked in on by Tai Lung... while playing with
dollsaction figures of the Furious Five. And Tai Lung. A sharp Parody of the slew of Heel–Face Turn/Love Redeems fics where Tai Lung is Easily Forgiven, within a story that... gives Tai Lung a Heel–Face Turn and redeems him through the power of Tigress' love (among other things).
- This Stargate Atlantis fic, which involves (among several other things) various members of the expedition bursting into song in order to ensure plausible deniability about the fact Sheppard and Mckay are sleeping together, has several. Notably:
"Rodney, get a hold of yourself," Sheppard said loudly, slapping him in the face."Oh no," Mckay replied, sounding like he was reading from a script. "The people of MK1-510 must have taken control of my brain and made me undress you. I had better go to the infirmary right away.""I should escort him," the colonel said seriously.
Carson: I'm I'm SCOTTISH, you bastards. You didn't have to make me sound like a bloody leprechaun.
- Also, Satedan humping sickness.
McKay: “Okay, that's enough. 'Gay' does not rhyme with 'Wraith', Zelenka definitely never killed a bear, and you people are getting on my last damn nerve!”
- Sheppard wanting to shoot the communicator at the end.
- JLA Watchtower/DC Nation universe: Ralph Dibny is busy battling Sonar, leaving Flash and Hal Jordan to take Sue (who is in labor) up to the Watchtower. Mid-Nite is in surgery, and can't be paged, leaving the Dibnys' kid to be delivered by Flash, Hal, Martian Manhunter, and ''Eel O'Brien!''. For extra fun, get a Yiddish dictionary, since Nationverse-Sue is very fluent in Yiddish swearing.
Flash Should I be boiling water? You're supposed to boil water - or is that for the flu? Uh... do we have paper towels?
- The Mahou Sensei Negima! fan-fic A Day Indoors has several of them:
- Negi & Sayo's conversation in Chapter 4 (Negi: "How am I supposed to teach a class of teenage girls about sex?! ...While keeping my virtue, career, and sanity intact?!")
- The end of Chapter 12 (Asuna: Negi's new pimp)
- Negi's predicament in Chapter 17 (FUTURE BETTER-WITH-WORDS TROPER DESCRIBE HERE PLEASE)
- Pretty much the entirety of Chapters 30 & 35.
- And Chapter 29.
- The series of porny Star Fox fanfics by Ringshadow on adultfanfiction.net is pretty funny by itself, but one exchange stands out.
"Huh. That's out of nowhere." Katt sounded surprised. "I'm sure I'll hear about it later. I'd ask you to slap him for me but I doubt that'd work out." She paused. "So, any coffee baristas pants you yet today?"He shook his head. "You're not going to let me live that down are you?""Hell no, you won't tell me how good she was." Katt pouted."Why do you care? Are you going to surprise her with lesbian sex or something?"Peppy lifted his eyebrows silently."How does that work? Surprise, confetti, om nom nom?" Katt asked thoughtfully.Fox had been mid drink, but that was enough to put an image in his head, making him do a spit take. "Dammit, woman!""No, glitter would be more appropriate. Would this be the opposite of surprise buttsex you think? I mean, you'd know."Fox at times regretted ever telling Katt what happened on Aquas, or at least admitting to her that he was bisexual. She found the fact amusing somehow, picking at him on occasion and trying to figure out what his tastes were. When he asked why she wasn't upset, she said that guys making out were hot, and she forgave the random coffeehouse blowjob because he still came home to her. "I don't know. Would a strap-on be involved?""What the hell ass." Peppy said, caught between confusion and laughter."Either way, I'll sell some damn coffee. Actually, that'd be a good name for a coffee shop wouldn't it? Coffee and Lesbians.""Dammit, are you trying to send me to a business dinner with a boner?""I doubt Wolf needs the help with that.""Right. You're lucky I like you.""I own your ass, sweet cheeks. Om nom nom!" That said, she laughed and hung up.
- The Modesty Blaise fanfic An Ever-Fixèd Mark. Stephen Collier signs up Modesty and Willie for a compatibility course for couples. Hilarity Ensues. ("Oh, Edmund!" Mavis exclaimed rapturously. "You're even compatible with my father!")
- I would list the CMoFs in Shadow Crystal Mage's works, if it weren't for the simple fact that if the fic isn't serious, his fics tend to get at least one Moment per chapter, and it's at least 3 or 4 if the fic is cracky.
- The LXG fanfic series The Private Diary of Elizabeth Quatermain has a bonus volume that was written specifically to invoke this trope. The father of the title character keeps his own Bridget Jones' Diary-style record of observations about the stuff that goes on in the series. He tears the mickey out of pretty nearly everyone and everything, most particularly her.
"Daughter using Sawyer's injuries as excuse to watch him sleep. Cried today. Daughter a bit of a whiny bint sometimes.""Hapless offspring wandered away from group and almost turned into Puma Chow.""Daughter and (love interest) continue to circle each other like lovesick vultures. V. annoying to watch."
- In a Total Drama fanfic, Total Drama Chris, in the challenge of the 21st chapter, the campers must write fanfics about Total Drama, in other words, about themselves. Hilarity Ensues!
- The Batman Beyond fanfic He's Just One Man has Terry kidnapped by a Villain Team-Up between his Rogues Gallery and unmasked by Inque. The funny comes from the other villains' reactions:
Blight: The McGinnis boy?!
Spellbinder: Terrence McGinnis?!
Shriek: The pizza delivery boy?! (the other two stare at him) What? That's how I know him.
- This troper once read a Fallout 3 fanfic where Liberty Prime was trudging around the wasteland, trying to find a worthy successor to Eden. He came across a drunk...
Drunk: No, no, no!... Th' cake ish a lie!LP: ...THE CAKE IS A COMMUNIST?
“Who’s hittin’ who with a rock?” Charlie asked, walking up behind them.“Me,” Hurley said, still searching the ground. “I’m hittin’ Jack with a rock.”“What? Why do you get to hit him with a rock? And why was I left out of this ‘we’re gonna hit Jack with a rock’ discussion?Jack What the hell is going on?!Hurley: Just... talkin’ about rocks. Nice one, huh? All, um, black and... uh, rock... ish?Jack: We don’t have time to hang around talking about rocks! And who would be sitting around talking about rocks, anyway?"Geologists?" Sawyer offered, with an angelic smile and a voice full of innocence, and Sayid suddenly had another fit of coughing.Hurley: Dudes, seriously, he’s [Jack] really startin’ to piss me off. ‘Hurley, the manifest! Hurley, I’m a doctor, not a... manifest guy! Hurley, medications, we... need... more... medications!”Charlie You know, Hurley, your impression of Jack sounds a lot more like Captain Kirk than it does Jack.Hurley: Sorry, dude, Kirk is the only impression I can do: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! But, I guess in Jack’s case it’d be more like ‘LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKE!’”Jack: Locke? What about Locke? Why in the hell are you screaming ‘Locke,’ did something happen, what happened, where’s Locke?”Hurley: Oh. Uh. No, no Locke. I was screaming ‘ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!’Jack: What?Hurley: Oh, just a thing I do. Nature worship. Wicca stuff, you didn’t know I’m Wiccan?
- Hurley: (about/to Sayid) You’re too... um, elegant. And foreign. Elegant foreign guys with accents who don’t even drop their Gs and rarely use contractions shouldn’t say things like ‘redneck hick asshole guy,’ it just sounds weird.
- Sawyer: What? He gets ‘elegant’ and I get ‘old?’
- Hurley: (about/to Sayid) You’re too... um, elegant. And foreign. Elegant foreign guys with accents who don’t even drop their Gs and rarely use contractions shouldn’t say things like ‘redneck hick asshole guy,’ it just sounds weird.
- NGE: Your Happy Years has the most epic Sachiel battle ever. Here is a quick summary of the highlights:
The speakers of the massive war machine transmit a profanity laden scream for all in the above ground Tokyo-3 region to hear.Shinji: "-and stomp you until you can be FLAKKI Ng MAILED! Are you INSANE?"Climbing onto its hands and knees, 200' and 15,000 tons of metal, sinew, and pure raw power crawl behind a block of apartment buildings, flattening its back against them. Shinji: "Did he see me?"And Shogoki grabs Sachiel by the shoulder and brings its knee up between the Angels legs.Shinji: "What kind of giant robot doesn't have GUNS?"Shinji: "AAAAAAHHHH! IT'S GOT MY CORD!"
- Chapter 17 of Day In The Life has Nanoha and Fate giving birth. Besides being chock-a-block full of warm fuzzies, one moment has the inevitable result of a young woman who has magical Super Strength suffering through labor pains:
Nurse: "She's going through a rough time right now, but she'll forget it when her boys are born." She glanced back, amused. "Come on, Scrya-san, there isn't much you can do unless you want her to break your fingers."Yuuno: "I'm a little worried about your bed, if Nanoha squeezes the rails any harder she'll break them."From the other side of the curtain, there was a groaning sound, followed by a snapping sound and a whimper.Yuuno: "...Aaand there goes the bed rail." he muttered, sighing softly.
- The Silent Hill fic New Beginnings, despite its SBIH status, does have an amusing line caused by poorly-placed Metaphorgotten:
"OMFG" James cried, flopping in the monster's strong arms like a fish. A fish that was about to be raped.
- The (absurdly good) Half-Life 2 novelisation Welcome to City 17 is about evenly divided between the horrors of Combine rule and Gordon being awesome, but it contains some stellar moments of comedy, admittedly mostly due to Mood Whiplash. By far the best of these is when Gordon avoids a Combine ambush in Nova Prospekt by hiding in a closet, and due to spending about two days running on adrenaline and the various drugs the HEV Suit has been pumping into him spends the next ten minutes staring at his hands. It is far funnier than it sounds.
- Warhammer 40,000 fans decided that Kharn the Betrayer was misunderstood and actually pretty fun to be around. They they wrote a series of short stories in which an unnamed Chaos devotee details the many fun times that were had with Kharn, all of them hilarious dedications to one hell of guy. He's the new Commisar, after all.
- The space battle between Soopreme Leader Rachel Mc Kenzie and Father in the Codename: Kids Next Door fanfic Operation: There Is No Operation , which dissolves in an epic That Came Out Wrong after she teasingly asks him to come and spank her:
"You know, I almost don't feel like it anymore. I feel dirty now," he complained. "We were having ourselves a good old-fashioned shootout and then you had to ruin it by being all precocious. It's things like this that make merciless pseudo-genocidal war between adults and children awkward, you know!"
- This Crash Bandicoot story practically opens with a CMOF, where in order to capture the Bandicoots, Cortex wears a Paper-Thin Disguise in the form of a fake mustache (along with all his minions who're also only wearing Fake Mustaches to cover up who they are) that the 'smarter' characters buy, while only Crash can see through, yet every time he tries to explain to the others they don't believe him. When they're captured, Aku-Aku begins to notice all of Cortex's flaws who just covers it up with a simple 'Science did it'.
- A very popular Pokémon one, Damaged, focuses on Mewtwo from the anime and watches him as he leads his own (often painful, often funny, often heartwarming) life. At one point, Mewtwo gets challenged by a certain girl, and thinks four words to himself, most likely in a way that many people can sympathize with.
Mew 2 held a hand out to the woman. "Come here for a battle?""Yes." She smiled. "My name is Kristy." She shook his hand."You look familar." Mew 2 looked at her out of the corner of his eye.She giggled a bit. "My father and mother are Ash and Misty Ketchum."They spawned.
- Another one done by the same author, this time for Metroid, Angseth, includes a character who had little to no personality in the game he premiered in, Kanden; the author took matters into her own hands when portraying him. What ended up happening was that almost all of his lines (and a great number of his actions) became Crowning Moments of Funny. For instance, he repeats (in one of his plentiful inner monologues) the phrase, "I am Kanden-man," three times to the rhythm of the riff for "Iron Man", syllable-for-note. And he does this almost completely randomly.
- An unintentional case is Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament, which features possibly the most boring and yet hilarious sex-scene-turned-Overly Long Gag ever:
Stella turned on the water. She felt it with her left hand to determine the temperature. When it was warm, she turned on the shower. Water splashed on all three women, getting them wet. Stella hugged Reccoa. Reccoa stared back at Stella. Stella kissed Reccoa on the lips. Reccoa hugged Stella. Stella pressed her tongue against Reccoa's lips. Reccoa parted her lips and allowed Stella's tongue into her mouth. The two women french-kissed. Reccoa felt warm - both because of the water and because of Stella's kiss. Une stood behind Reccoa, pressing against her, and placed her hands on Stella's ass. Stella placed her hands on Une's ass. Une licked up the right side of Reccoa's neck repeatedly. Stella finished the kiss. "Let's turn around." Stella took her hands off of Une's ass. Une took her hands off of Stella's ass. Stella and Reccoa turned 180 degrees.
- The Brain Bots' digitally transmitted "conversations" in the still-in-progress Megamind epic Dissimulate are all incredibly entertaining in their own right, but special mention goes to the exchange in chapter 5, including Biter's "Anti-Hysteria Routine" to another panicking Bot.
- The Total Drama World Tour rewrite, Candy For Your Thoughts?:
- The otherwise ludicrously Dark Fic Chained World: Fall of the House of Kuno gets very silly whenever Ryoga appears onscene, whether the Lost Boy is accidentally teleporting to the Lincoln Memorial just before shouting to the heavens that he's going to try to destroy the institutionalized slavery in Japannote , or he's leading the pigs on a Kuno-run farm in a successful uprising.
- The Codename: Kids Next Door fanfic Operation OPPOSITE shows why you REALLY don't want to push Fanny Fullbright's Berserk Button. Fanny is reluctant to break into the Soopreme Leader's private room, Patton makes a comment about girls having no backbone ... and then she picks him up from the floor and throws him through the door.
I'LL SHOW YOU BACKBONE!
- In the Fate/stay night fic Chaos Theory, Archer wants to remove Rin from a very dangerous battle she refuses to leave. Archer explains his plan B
"I'm going to pick you up bodily, drag you to the steps, and throw you outside the mountain's boundary field." Archer said.
"… what?" Rin asked, not quite sure she'd heard right.
"Throw you. Kind of like a javelin, only it's you."
"… … …" Rin said.
"Don't worry. I'm good with projectile weapons. You won't die. I'll make sure you land in a bush or something." Archer said.
"… … …"
"You'll just get hurt. Between the draining effect of this sorcery and the wounds I'll be inflicting, you won't be able to get back to the fight, most likely. You'll be stuck safely outside the boundary field, while I deal with all of this madness." Archer said. "Magi heal fast, you'll be fine."
"Archer…" Rin said slowly. "Don't you dare."
Thirty-five seconds later, as Rin screamed, tears in her eyes, flying awfully fast towards a bush that didn't look at all soft enough for her tastes, she wondered why she'd ever thought this stupid war was something to look forward to.
- In Chapter 3 of the Discworld fic Odd One Out, Lucy Tockley takes great glee in her new job as a Snake Oil Salesman. She eventually finds out, to her dismay, that the cures actually worked. And then she tries drowning her sorrows at the local Bad-Guy Bar...
- The point of The Insane Critic is to review bad and weird fics. There are a lot of funny moments but the review of Until the End of Time is a peak point. Especially his reaction when Hitler delivers the fic's WHAM Line:
"IT DID IT! IT FINALLY DID IT! THIS FIC HAS BUTCHERED ANIME AND HISTORY IN ONE FELL STROKE! CURSE THIS FIC!"
- Wally Beatles reaction when confronted by the Teen Ninjas' new Humongous Mecha in the Codename: Kids Next Door fanfic Aftermath
"Ha!" Fanny grinned. "Whaddaya say to that, BOY?"Wally stared. "It's… pink.""What?""It's… pink!""Yeah, so?""It's PINK! What kinda cruddy mech is colored Pink? And it looks like a stoopid Monkey!""Shaddup!" Fanny screamed. "It's the Super Saiyan Sailor Monkey Mech!""It's pink!""That DOES it!" Fanny turned to Sally. "Get him!"
- In the Invader Zim fanfic, Human and Irken UNITE!, Zim recruits Gaz to his plans. In chapter seven, Gaz deceived Zim to make him go to Bearpursuit Mall, saying that there are lots of Earth's military secrets there and he is not familiar with the things there.
- Zim: WHO IS VICTORIA AND WHAT IS HER SECRET?Gaz: Zim, her secret is nothing that would interest you.Zim: Oh? And how do YOU know what secrets I want to know? How do you know her secret won't help us with our plans for world dominations?Gaz: I doubt fluffy, pink bras will help us conquer the world.Zim: Maybe in YOUR hands they won't, but I've had much more experience when it comes to tools of world domination! Watch me Little Gaz, as I conquer this 'bra' and use it to KILL ALL HUMANS! Bye-bye!
- "I AM ZERUEL, ANGEL OF MIGHT, AND IF YOU ABUSE SUBSTANCES, YOU KILL BABIES AND PUPPIES. PREPARE TO DIE."
- In this Self-Insert Fic Nazi Zombies fanfic, Nikolai incorporates Homer Simpson.
"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka! Mmm… vodka."
- Space Pirate Confederation is loaded with these, such as Kraid's stupidity and the mundanity of Samus and Ridley's rivalry, but one exchange that stands out is between two random Space Pirates as Dark Samus arrives to raid their Agon base.
- A space pirate squad walked in on Dark Samus absorbing the Phazon. "Sir," he said into his radio, "Samus Aran is here.""That's not Aran," a second pirate said to the first."What do you mean, of course it is! There's the suit, and big shoulders, and a gun!""We have suits, big shoulders, and a gun, that isn't very descriptive. Also, it's black, floating, and absorbing our Phazon. Aran is orange, grounded, and not absorbing our Phazon.""You're demoted.""I'm your superior.""You were just demoted, so not anymore."
- This It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia fic has some great moments but nothing will beat Charlie's solution to a problem with Dennis' girl of the week we have to eat her.
- The AU fic Worm D20 (in which the events of Worm are reimagined as a RPG campaign) has one in its first chapter.
"No, you may not go Carrie on your classmates.""Can I sit in a bathroom and scream my head off?""Yes."
- In the RWBY fic For Better or Norse, we get the following from Nora Valkyrie.
"Okay. We can fix this. Um, Mr. Ren, you stay there. Thrice-damned coward Winchester...""Stop calling me that!""... you just... I'll turn around," Nora continued as though he hadn't spoken, "And you just give Mr. Ren his proper warrior's death, damning yourself to the frozen wastes of Hel for your cowardice. Then I'll run his soul right up to Valhalla, and we all win! Except not Mr. Ren, who will die. Or you, who will be doomed. But I'll win!"
- The Free! fanfic seen everything there is to be shown in its entirety. To summarize, Haruka sneaks into Rin and Nitori's dorm room every night to get it on with Rin, but unbeknownst to them, poor Nitori is awake and hears all of it.
Haruka: I think Makoto bought me lube.Rin: ...You're flakking kidding me. Makoto bought you lube?Haruka: I think he bought me lube. I definitely didn't buy it, but it was in my bathroom this morning.
- Nitori's Imagine Spot about how he'd ask Rin to take their (very bad) lovemaking elsewhere: "So last night I found out that Nanase likes being bitten - which I imagine he'd have to, given those incisors - and that you're both what my older brother would call 'delicate virginal flowers' and, um, maybe you guys could take it elsewhere.
- He has another one when thinking about what he could say when Seijuurou asks him why he's been avoiding Rin: "I've been listening to Rin and Nanase gracelessly fumble at each other's bits two or three nights a week and they don't know I've been awake all this time. I now know every single one of Nanase's erogenous zones and that Rin refuses to swallow. I could tell you the exact number of times both of them has gotten off recently and that number is depressingly low. And when Rin finds out about all this, he's going to send my remains home in a matchbox."
- This exchange. Even when Makoto doesn't appear in the story at all, he still manages to be the Team Mom.
Haruka: (wheezing) Is it still attached?
- When Rin tries to give Haruka a blowjob, he accidentally bites him, hard. With his mouthful of shark teeth.
- Nitori considers helping Rin out with his sex life: "Perhaps he should set up a throwaway email address and anonymously send Rin a link to the Amazon page for the Kama Sutra. Or Sex For Dummies. Or maybe one of those children's toys with the colorful shaped pegs that fit into the matching holes."
- In Levi's Corporal Levi, in a story-long pun on his name, declares a one-man war on the Survey Corps' white pants. Poor Erwin.
- In The Fairly OddParents! story Fairly Odd Angles and Other Stories, Jorgen is yelling at Timmy when Timmy's father hears.
Timmy's Father: TIMMY! DO YOU HAVE A GIRL IN THERE? A DEEP-VOICED, AUSTRIAN-SOUNDING GIRL?
>Timmy: Uh... yes Dad!
Timmy's Father: GREAT! NEED ANY CONDOMS?
Timmy: We're good!
Timmy's Father: SHOULD I TELL YOUR MOM?
Timmy: Please don't!
- Punish Me!, a Watchmen story that describes a few of Nite Owl's encounters with Captain Carnage. Carnage is an incredibly campy Harmless Villain, and Rorschach innocently denies that he threw Carnage down an elevator shaft, saying that he pushed him instead.
- Heroes, a Daria tale that shows the eponymous lead steadily pushed too far in a lunatic Lawndale school year, scripts out (in script format) Jane having to take extraordinary measures to wake up after spending the previous evening joining a scalded and furious Daria in bouncing off the padded walls of her room to burn off the Morgendorffer Temper. Unfortunately, she's not the only one to partake..
Jake: (All bright and happy) Morning Jane-O! How's it hanging? (Jane looks bleakly at Jake, disgusted at the general ambience of "happy busy morning" he exudes)Jane: (Morning rasp) Daria. (Works mouth again) Seen her? (Rubs jaw. She's got that bed-hair again)Jake: Not yet Jane, but I'm sure that she'll be up soon! (Starts to brew coffee in a drip)(Jane staggers over to the kettle, turns it on. She searches the cupboards for the biggest mug she can find. Securing her discovery, she takes out the instant coffee and a little round container. She sniffs the coffee, and looks in the container. Jane looks in the cupboards again, and takes out a two-pound bag of white sugar. Refilling the round container with the sugar, she put that back into the cupboard and pours the remainder of the bag into the mug. Then she starts pouring out coffee into the mug. Jake pokes the bacon and eggs, then goes back to slurping the juice loudly. Jane winces at the noise, then pours in the now-boiling water. After enough water to dissolve the coffee and sugar into a syrup, she grabs the milk from the fridge, pours and stirs. The spoon doesn't want to go around at first, but she gradually reaches liquid consistency. She then places the evil brew into the microwave and nukes it. Jake looks on, interested)Jake: (Too loud) I've never seen coffee made like that before Jane, how's it taste?Jane: (Distant, exhausted) I have no idea, this is the first time I've been tired enough to try making it.(The microwave dings, and Jane removes the warmed mug gingerly. She sniffs it, wrinkles up her nose and takes a huge swig. Swallowing with difficulty, she manages to get the toxic concoction down. After she's swallowed, she breathes heavily.)Jake: (Doing another "Loud Howard") How was it?Jane: (Panting) I've had worse. (Beat.) Hang on. (Swallows again.) Whoo, maybe I haven't. (Jane's stomach makes a rumble of pain audible throughout the kitchen. She pats her belly, addressing it) Patience my pet. Soon the sugar will reach you and you shall be sated. (Shows how brave she is by going for another swig. Breaks off, gasping) God, that is bad. (Another swig, wincing with pain.) Exceptionally bad.Jake: (He really wants to taste it now) May I? (Holds out hand)Jane: (Uncertain) Didn't Helen put you on a low caffeine diet?Jake: ("We fellow conspirators" voice) I'm sure a sip won't hurt?Jane: (Flat [She's drank it, after all]) I'm pretty sure it will. (To Jake's hangdog expression) But if it makes you feel any better, I'm going to see Daria now, and will be leaving this (Gestures to mug) here. (Staggers out of shot)(Jake smiles and nods. After Jane has left the shot, he stares at the mug. A few seconds pass before..)Mug: (Female siren-like voice) Jake, Jaaake…drink me, drink meeeeee… (From Jake's point of view, the mug is getting closer. He turns, trying to resist, but the voice continues)Mug: Only a ssssip. Only a ssssip… (Jake knows when he's beaten. He picks up the mug, as we cut to—)(Jane knocking on Daria's door, it swings open under her hand. Music: "If I Were You" - K.D. Lang. She goes inside, seeing Daria rubbing her head carefully with a towel. Daria turns slightly, and waves Jane down to the bed. Daria is wearing, very loosely, a blue terrycloth robe)Jane: (Rubbing eyes) How'd you sleep?Daria: (Normal conversational tone) Surprisingly well. (Beat) Mom came in late last night. I told her.Jane: (Stretching to remove kinks) How did "She-Beast the Lawyer" take it?Daria: (Smiles a little at Janes' antipathy.) She was tired after work, so she didn't drop into immediate "freak" mode.Jane: Hmm, ok. (Rolling head back) Hey Dar?Daria: (Finishes towelling head) What? (She's slightly irritated at the "Val" nickname.)Jane: (Head still back) I know we're good friends and everything, but you might like to close your robe.Daria: (Blushes, holds robe shut) Sorry. My back…Jane: (Interrupting) Forget it. (Changes topic) You going to school today?Daria: (Flat) I think that I'll be spending most of my day on my stomach, with my back slathered in moisturisers, reading.Jane: Right. Anyway, I'm going home for some more sleep. (Yawning only partly to punctuate her decision) I'll be only a phone call away.Daria: That, and the two pillows over your head. (Pause.) And why are you up so early?Jane: Worried. (Yawn) About. (Yawn) You. (Yawning with disgust) God, when is the sugar going to hit?Daria: (Interested) Another Lane coffee special?Jane: Nahh, found this one on the Internet. It's pretty rough. (There is a weird high-pitched scream/yelp from downstairs. It stops abruptly. Jane looks over to Daria, more than a bit worried)Jane: I really hope that isn't Jake. (Hesitant) He wanted to try some of my coffee… (The noise starts again, but proceeds to change, because whatever is making it is moving downstairs, rapidly. The noise Dopplers out of hearing, increases, then fades again. The garage door is heard opening, then a car screeches out into the early-morning. It drives away at great speed)(Cut to the Morgandoffer kitchen, bacon and eggs starting to burn, cereal bowl upturned, glass of juice in the sink with Jane's mug of toxic waste alongside. Pan upwards a little, and we see a slowly-dripping stain on the sink window, as if someone did a spit-take of something sticky while watching the dewy morn evaporate. It looks a lot like Jane's coffee…)(Cut upstairs again.)Daria: (deeply sincere) We can only hope.
- In In the Light of Day, Elsa is having some trouble finding a future-husband among the princes sent to bid for her hand.
Elsa: “Seven princes in a race for my hand in marriage, and an eight-year-old is leading the pack.”
- Later, Kristoff suggest to each of the princes' attendants thatthey leave the party and go get some ribs and beer. Besides the one watching the eight-year-old prince, all tell him "Oh god, yes!"
- The Super Mario Bros. fic Ecosystem Lesson, in which Wario tries to convince Luigi that eating meat is healthier for the environment than vegetarianism, has a number of these, but the funniest one has to be at the end, during the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue:
The very next day, Wario's fat ass died due to a heart attack. Fortunately, the rest of his body survived the attack and he is currently growing a new ass. He continues to eat only meat.
- In Birds of a Feather, a drunk Minato Sahashi ends up hitting on Homura while out drinking with his friend. Homura's sheer awkwardness is what really sells it.
- Snippets of a Story is a collection of short The Stanley Parable one shots. One of these ends with a line that is completely in character for the Narrator.
- This Welcome to Night Vale fanfic, in which Cecil (unlike Carlos) doesn't really feel the impact of the Supreme Court decision for gay marriage, isn't primarily humorous. It does however contain Carlos donning a rainbow-colored lab coat, to which Cecil responds with this gem:
Cecil: Carlos... Why are you cosplaying as Hiram McDaniels?
- In the The Most Popular Girls in School fic "Rated R", we see what the inside of Brittnay's head looks like. It's...what you think there might be.
- In this other story by the same author, we have the mere fact that Deandra painted her robotic arm in order to donate her blood again and that nobody else pays attention to said robotic arm.
- Somewhere on fanfiction.net, there's a Lion King fanfic that rewrites the famous stampede scene to be a stampede of a very large "herd" of panicking leopards instead of wildebeest, while taking itself fully seriously. To be fair, the author wrote this story when they were a child, and only shared it years later because they found it amusing.