- Annie, after a storm created by Thor has accidently blown all their laundry, and that of their neighbours, on the ground:
"I'm having to do all our laundry over anyway. Give them [the neighbours' clothes] to me and I'll run them through the wash as well. Then I suppose we can host a laundry reunion party or something out in the street. It might be fun. We can make cocktails."
- All the instants when Thor demonstrates that he has mastered sarcasm.
- Fury, when Loki and companions return from an expedition where they got drenched:
"Everyone who was on the river trip, go get changed into something warmer. Loki, I'd appreciate if that wasn't a polar bear. Or a pot of tea. We'll head out right after."
- Loki and Annie are investigating psychics in town. Loki thinks he senses one's magic permeating the atmosphere. Annie informs him it's not magic, it's patchouli.
- Apparently, Tony Stark doesn't have a Porn Stash, he has Muppets and the Princess Bride hidden behind his cabinets.
- It seems that Asgardians enjoy the taste of fruitcake, much to the surprise of everyone else.
- "Hufflepuffs get eaten first!"
- Loki turns into a duck on national TV.
Thor: No, brother, you may not play in the sink. It is time to reassume your own form and get dressed. Leave my cape alone. Loki!Ellen: Your brother is a duck. A duck.
- Dr. Strange devises an Interdimensional Travel Device for Coulson's and Mitchell's universe hopping in Lonely Way Back Home in the form of a smart phone app.
- "Phil Coulson is not putting up with your bullshit."
- "No, really: Phil Coulson is not putting up with your bullshit."