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Funny: Housemates

  • Annie, after a storm created by Thor has accidently blown all their laundry, and that of their neighbours, on the ground:
    "I'm having to do all our laundry over anyway. Give them [the neighbours' clothes] to me and I'll run them through the wash as well. Then I suppose we can host a laundry reunion party or something out in the street. It might be fun. We can make cocktails."
  • All the instants when Thor demonstrates that he has mastered sarcasm.
  • Fury, when Loki and companions return from an expedition where they got drenched:
    "Everyone who was on the river trip, go get changed into something warmer. Loki, I'd appreciate if that wasn't a polar bear. Or a pot of tea. We'll head out right after."
  • Loki and Annie are investigating psychics in town. Loki thinks he senses one's magic permeating the atmosphere. Annie informs him it's not magic, it's patchouli.
  • Apparently, Tony Stark doesn't have a Porn Stash, he has Muppets and the Princess Bride hidden behind his cabinets.
  • "Hufflepuffs get eaten first!"
  • Loki turns into a duck on national TV.
    Thor: No, brother, you may not play in the sink. It is time to reassume your own form and get dressed. Leave my cape alone. Loki!
    Ellen: Your brother is a duck. A duck.
  • Dr. Strange devises an Interdimensional Travel Device for Coulson's and Mitchell's universe hopping in Lonely Way Back Home in the form of a smart phone app.
  • "Phil Coulson is not putting up with your bullshit."
    • "No, really: Phil Coulson is not putting up with your bullshit."