Funny / For a Diamond Is a Marveled Thing

Country Warps, Take Me Home

• Pearl not recognizing Steven due to his drastic "growth spurt", treating him like an incoming tourist, unknowingly giving an introduction tour to the founder of Little Homeworld.
  • Steven letting her, not correcting her once.

Shepherd's Crook

• Casimir tries to play a flute by eating it.

Like A Word, A Sound, A Song

• Steven apparently ragdolls when he falls asleep to the point of looking like a dead person.
• Connie being Mistaken for Pregnant after Priyanka going through her internet history and finding baby names.
  • The fact that Priyanka still goes through Connie's internet history.
• The context is nervewracking, but it's still funny to see Steven act like a drunk in Chapter 5.
• Steven's power has reached a level where it constantly radiates outward, which causes him to have Fertile Feet when he lingers somewhere for too long or experiences a surge of positive emotion. Which means he's been generating magic flowers in Connie's college apartment whenever he stays the night.
  • The fact that Connie had managed to clean it up before Steven wakes every time before that chapter because she was secretly hoarding them.
• Steven trying to wrap his head around the concept of sexual attraction. When Connie asks if Steven thinks she's pretty, he says that he likes how she can slice cars in half.
  • It's implied in the same chapter that Steven blinks about as much as a cat does (as in, they don't).
• Garnet's Unexplained Accent being explained by dentition of all things. She has very large fangs and needs to articulate in a very particular manner to avoid lisping.
• Connie exhibiting poor impulse control and shoving her hand in Steven's mouth.
  • Gems apparently having a Weaksauce Weakness where they start to black out if a sufficiently large object, like a person's hands, puts pressure on the inside of their mouth.
  • Connie gleefully analyzing Steven's semi-retractable fangs, blissfully unaware the poor boy is actively fighting the instinctive urge to maul her hands.
• Gems can transfer information and code to each other. So Peridot started working on video games for Gem brains.
• Steven learns that Connie can't see ultraviolet and thinks she's colorblind.

A Love Affair, But Exit Left

• The Running Gag of Jasper calling plants dogs.
• The other running gag carrying throughout the series in which Jasper acts or is treated like his mistress.
• Jasper shutting down Steven's self destructive behavior by jokingly implying it was his kink.
• The fact that Steven turns into a perpetual Deadpan Snarker around Jasper.
• Jasper's "dog", a strain of Rose's moss, evolves into a weird moss python thanks to Steven's healing powers. Which means that technically, Jasper and Steven had a kid together.

Diamond Drop

• The running theme that Steven from an outsider's perspective is objectively frightening is this in a case of Dramatic Irony, letting the readers have a little laugh at people being scared of him.
• Thor and Lars getting drunk and spending the night together.
• Thor challenging Steven to a duel. One commenter suggested that they could have flyted instead, which is basically the medieval equivalent to a spectated rap battle.
• The fact that Connie is as tall as Thor and taller than Steven, since Word of God states that Steven could naturally grow to be taller than Connie, but chooses not to because on some level he likes being shorter than her.
• Thor and Steven's duel. They both agree that Thor will lose in order to get around Odin's unspoken gag order concerning the events of Thor 1, with the implication that Thor thinks he needs to go easy on Steven. Gilligan Cut to Thor on the ground, having lost the match after getting carried away and fighting for real, freshly healed of a concussion.
• Sif and The Three constantly dragging on Thor almost every time they appear.
• Apparently Thor and his friends were once chased off of a former Gem battlefield by the Crystal Gems.

For The Tax Benefits. Also I Love You.

• Connie's very unromantic marriage proposal that devolves into an infodump about college scholarships and tax calculations.
• Amethyst had once turned into a shirt to prank Pearl, only to be put through the washing machine.
• Steven now having five different wedding planning books. Two of them are dedicated to Spirit Morph Saga themed weddings.
• Steven and Connie going over who they should invite to the wedding is full of humor.
• Connie calling Jasper Steven's "queerplatonic BDSM girlfriend".
• Steven accidentally forgot to tell Connie about his son, Casimir. For two years.
  • The fact that Connie's technically marrying a single dad, despite how young they both are.
• Steven only found out about Valentine's day after he and Connie got engaged. Cue Steven, in tears, thinking he's failed as a partner for missing all of their Valentine's anniversaries.
• Steven invites Jasper to his wedding with a flying kick to the face, and they continue the conversation while beating each other up.

Godspeed You Stargirl, You Paladin Among Peons

• Connie brought her knife collection to college, and her sword.
  • Apparently, by some technicality, it wasn't against dorm rules.
• Daniel, one of Connie's friends from SU:F, made some kind of jerry-rigged illegal toaster, that Patricia, Connie's other friend, snuck into the dorms.
• Apparently Steven becomes a Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant when he's sleep deprived. He vaguely alludes to wanting to be Stevonnie, but articulates it as "[Connie's] skin is in the way".
• Connie gets asked out by a girl in her history class, which she turns down. The girl asks if it's because Connie is straight, but Connie clarifies it's because she's married.

We Coded The Oregon Trail With A Hole Puncher And There's Nothing You Can Do About It

• Steven nonchalantly tells Stan that Dipper is a necromancer.
  "Oh! Stanley." Az looks up from his phone at him, as though he were simply discussing a particularly interesting leaf. "By the way, Mason is a necromancer."
  "HAHAHA!" Fiddleford's cackle echoes from within his animatronic crab. "I done knew it!"
  "Huh." Stanley takes a sip of his beer, and then promptly chokes on it. "Wait, he fucking WHAT-"
• After Dipper gets the zombies that are congregating around the Mystery Shack to go back to their graves, Grunkle Stan grounds him for (accidentally) summoning them in the first place.
  Dipper: (after the zombies leave) Oh thank fuck.
  Grunkle Stan: Thank fuck indeed. Also you're grounded for summoning zombies.
  Dipper: Aw, what-.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Tony

• How Tony meets Harley in this continuity: Tony hacks the Rose Hill police database then stumbles across Harley doing the same thing. He then proceeds to open up a chatroom.
  Harley: if you're tony stark, i'm god
  Tony: OK, God.
• Steve Rogers ends up calling Asteria Diamond to inform xem of Tony's "death", only to be told that Tony's basically crashing in Little Homeworld. His response?
  Oh, son of a--

Aliens Steal Cable

• Humans, confronted with the opportunity to ask an alien any question they want without consequences... devolve into inane questions and shitposting.
  • <> m'Diamond^note  An apparent In-Universe meme where people jokingly salute Steven over the internet whenever he's mentioned, or on parts of the internet he's assumed to be watching.
  • All the usernames in forum chapters are basically Steven Universe lore jokes of varying obscurity, even going as far as to reference the comics and various In-Universe media.
  • Garnet being a Memetic Badass of the LGBT community.
  • Someone asking if birthstones are now racist or imply transracialism.
  • Diamondfuckers.^note Apparently a good number of people have a xenophilic attraction to Steven, referring to him as a hot dad due to his status as the patriarch of Gemkind. One poor fic commenter desperately asked if at least Mistaken Age was at play and that the internet wasn't crushing on a minor, to which the author responded that at this point in the timeline, Steven is fortunately at least 18.
  • A hungover human wakes up on a Gem settlement and is pampered like a cat by every passing Gem.
  • A Rare Sentence.
  lisa2myarchi : homeboy lowkey cancelled my arthritis when he kissed my fractures away so
• The fact that Ronaldo goes on to be a legitimate and respected xenoanthropologist, but clearly without much change in personality.
• Steven surviving an assassination attempt... without even realizing it until several hours later, when the failed assassin was brought in front of him.
• The Asteria Diamond AMA. Asteria Diamond comes across as somewhere between a Cloudcuckoolander, Amusing Alien, and a Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant.
  • Word of God also says that the AMA took place a few weeks after The Battle Of New York, and that the compounded stress and exhaustion of dealing with the aftermath took out a lot of his verbal filter, which would explain some of the... stranger things he says.

The Extraneous Companion Guide

• Onion as an adult doesn't look any less unsettling than his child self. Also he apparently manifests a beard at thirteen.
• The author making a size comparison drawing of Asteria Diamond and "classic" Steven, musing that the size difference is so drastic that the older Steven could punt his young self like an American football.
  • The author having a Played for Laughs Fridge Horror moment while they wrote the chapter, upon realizing that they made Asteria Diamond the size of a Quartz soldier and as broad as a Bismuth.
• Steven being jokingly labelled a biological abomination.

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