And I'm the Queen of Sheba
A form of sarcastic rejoinder, responding to an improbable statement with an even more impossible statement.
Bob: I'm actually the High King Bobertissimus in disguise!
Alice: Yeah, and I'm the Pope on a skiing holiday.
Popular forms include "I'm the Queen of Sheba" and "I'm a monkey's uncle".
Can lead to interesting results if Bob takes Alice at her word, which may be because he's constitutionally deaf to sarcasm
, doesn't expect her to disbelieve him, or doesn't recognise the improbability of her statement. Or Bob may sarcastically reference Alice's statement when his
improbable statement is proved true; see Cue the Flying Pigs
See also Or My Name Isn't...
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- The Moomins comic strip had several storylines in which the Moomins used a Time Machine to travel back in time (usually because Moominpappa longed for the glory and romance of the old days, only to find out that the old days weren't as glorious or romantic as he thought), and at one point the trope was played, word for word, when the family went back to Ancient Egypt. At their first stop, the Moomins are mistaken for gods because, in the words of the Egyptians, "who but a god would dare to take on the appearance of the holy white hippo?" However, when the family make a time-jump for a century or so and try their God Guise again, the new Egyptians just shake their heads:
Moominpappa: My good man, I am Horus. This is Isis, Osiris, and Ra.
Random Egyptian: Of course. And I'm the Queen of Sheba.
- In a Brazilian Bug-a-Booo comic filled with references to The Beatles:
- In an Empath: The Luckiest Smurf comic gag, a drunken Grouchy thinks that Empath is actually Jokey wearing an Empath disguise in order to fool him. When Empath tells him that he's actually Empath, Grouchy replies, "And I'm Smurfette."
Films — Animation
- Recess: School's Out
Benedict: (while being arrested) Get your hands off me, you filthy fiend! I'm the former Secretary of Education!
Policeman: Yeah, yeah, and I'm the former princess of Morocco. Get in the car!
- Space Jam: Bugs Bunny appeals to Michael Jordan to help the Looney Tunes beat the Monstars in a basketball game because Michael Jordan is... well... a basketball player. And a great one at that. His response?
Michael Jordan: ...But I'm a baseball player!
Bugs Bunny: Riiiiight, and I'm a Shakespearean actor! (takes out a Hamlet skull, looks at it for a few seconds, then tosses it off-screen)
- The Lion King plays with this, combining it with Stealth Insult.
Simba: Hey, Uncle Scar, when I'm king, what will that make you?
Scar: A monkey's uncle.
- Superman vs. the Elite has this exchange:
Lois Lane: If she knows anything then I'm Martian Manhunter.
Clark Kent: There go all my fantasies.
Films — Live-Action
- James Bond
- In A View to a Kill, James Bond tells a police officer that he's a British agent only to be met with "Yeah, and I'm Dick Tracy" before being arrested.
- An earlier Bond example; in Goldfinger, James and his caddy observe Goldfinger blatantly cheating in a golf game. The caddy quips, "If that's his ball then I'm Arnold Palmer."
- Army of Darkness: "Maybe, just maybe, my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot."
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:
Yes, this is a castle. And we have many
tapestries. But if you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!
- The line as scripted and as shown in the novelizations was "I am Jesse Owens", but for reasons unknown the line was dubbed over before release.
- The Naked Gun 33⅓: Frank Drebin is stopped at the entrance to the Oscars...
Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
- Played with in the live-action Rocky and Bullwinkle movie.
Bullwinkle: But she really is with the FBI.
Cop: Yeah, and I'm really John Goodman.
- The catch here is that the cop actually is John Goodman.
- In Sherlock Holmes and the House of Fear (Hollywood's horrible travesty of "The Musgrave Ritual"), Nigel Bruce's caricatured Watson is hustled out by a constable who does not believe he is Dr. Watson. "And I'm Mrs. Miniver!"
- In the Richard Attenborough film Grey Owl, where Pierce Brosnan plays the title character, a minor character says "[Grey Owl's] name is Archie Belaney, and if he's a red Indian, I'm the king of China." Grey Owl really was Archibald Belaney.
- A Knight's Tale:
William: I'm Ulrich von Liechtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires, Delves, of Dogington, and Falhurst, of Crew.
Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!
- In Return of the Pink Panther, Inspector Clouseau's car and clothes are stolen by a transvestite thief, and he flags down a police car wearing the fur coat he was given. The officer gives him a ride to the nuthouse.
Clouseau: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a moment! Wait a moment! I am Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!
Officer: And I am officer Bardot.
Officer: But you can call me Brigitte!
- Appears in Field of Dreams, when Ray introduces his brother-in-law Mark to Terrence Mann:
Mark: Hi, how ya doin', I'm the Easter Bunny.
- The Bobo. Singer/matador Peter Sellers is posing as a representative to a rich count to fool Britt Ekland. They arrive at a posh resort where he introduces himself to the manager as "emissary to His Excellency Martin Aragon Bocales de Villa Banal de Guilia de Comperes, the Count of Villa Banal." The manager breezily replies "And I am Louis XIV!" It's hard to tell if it's sarcasm, as he is dressed like the monarch.
- Die Hard With A Vengeance:
Officer Wanda Schepard: Sergeant Turley, Sergeant Turley! In the last 5 minutes, the volume that comes here have tripled. What the hell is going on?
Sgt Turley: Stop, let me explain. For the rest of the day, we are supposed to handle the department's communication.
Wanda: What do you mean, handle?
Sgt Turley: They are shutting down the police band. All calls will be coming through this switchboard.
Wanda: And I'm going to marry Donald Trump.
- In the 1934 Barrymore brothers film Arsène Lupin, Lupin, a Master of Disguise, is posing as the Duc d'Chamaras. When Inspector Guerchard hears that the Duke is in town, and hears his description, he proclaims, "If he's the Duc d'Chamaras, then I'm the Queen of Rumania!" This gets an Ironic Echo later down the line, via a false Cue the Flying Pigs.
- Occurs twice in the 1994 version of The Shadow. The first time is when Commissioner Wainwright is under Lamont's hypnosis:
Lamont: You're not going to appoint a police task force... There is no Shadow.
Wainwright: There is no Shadow. If there were, I'd be Eleanor Roosevelt.
The second time is at the end, where Shiwan Khan is in the psych ward. He desperately cries out his name, only for the other inmates to respond that they're Babe Ruth, Napoleon, Princess Josephine, and other dignitaries.
- Played with in Johnny Dangerously. The title character reminds the neighborhood that around his family, he's just Johnny Kelly, and then an an off-screen voice responds "And I'm The Pope!". Then the person who said that walks on screen and it turns out it is The Pope.
- In Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, as the gang climbs aboard the boat:
Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means my Veruca.
Grandpa Joe: If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.
- Calamity Jane: The small-town theatre hall owner in Deadwood sarcastically says this when Calamity asks why he doesn't send for Adelaide Adams, a big star of the Chicago stage.
- Far And Away: The entire whorehouse can tell that Joseph and Shannon aren't related by blood.
Molly: (after watching an argument between them) Why don't you shag her and get it over with?
Joseph: She's... my sister!
Molly: And I'm your mother.
- Courtesy of Dorothy Parker:
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Romania.
- Eleanor Arneson and Ruth Berman gave this line to a cop in "The Face on the Barroom Floor", a Star Trek fan novella in which Captain Kirk, after going incognito on shore leave, can't convince anyone of his real identity.
- Another use of this one, and likely a Shout-Out to Dorothy Parker from Lori Shepherd in Aunt Dimity Takes a Holiday: when Emma tells her that her husband of ten years is actually a peer, Lori says, "Your husband is Viscount Hailesham. Of course he is. And I am Marie of Romania."
- Older Than Feudalism, courtesy of Petronius' The Satyricon, when Ascyltus is laughing at Trimalchio's complete lack of book knowledge and horrific Latin puns, one of his (Trimalchio's) friends starts berating him. He bemoans that the world is too soft on men "these days" and notes he's wearing a gold ring (in those days only the Equestrian order got to wear gold):
"You're a Roman knight, are you? Well, my father was a king."
- In A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, the king and the protagonist (who has travelled back to the past, and became King Arthur's court wizard using Magic from Technology) are captured while travelling undercover, and are sold to a slave trader. When the king chooses to break his incognito, his claims of being King Arthur are met by the sarcastic response that in that case the slave next to him must be his famous court wizard.
- The Dresden Files uses this a lot as part of his Private Eye Monologue:
"And maybe one of these days I'd go to an art museum and become well rounded."
"And maybe dragons would fly out my butt."
- In Jingo, when 71-Hour Achmed sees Carrot.
And that man, I believe, is your king
Really? Then I am Queen Punjitrum of Sumtri.
- From Nation:
Daphne: [The crew of the Judy] are here and armed, Mr Cox.
Cox: Are they indeed? Then I'm the queen of Sheba.
- Tuf Voyaging by George RR Martin has two examples:
- On Haviland Tuf's first visit to S'uthlam, his description of how he came into possession of his Cool Starship prompts this response from the Portmaster:
She grinned. "And I'm the Empress of the Crab Nebula."
Tuf's face remained expressionless. "I fear I have been connected to the wrong person then. I wished to speak to the Portmaster of S'uthlam."
"If you're Tuf, I'm Stephan Cobalt Northstar."
"Stephan Cobalt Northstar has been dead for more than a millennium. Nevertheless, I am Haviland Tuf."
- In The Hollows novel For a Few Demons More, Rachel's Miranda Warning to Trent:
"If you can't afford [an attorney], hell has frozen over and I'm the princess of Oz, but in that case, one will be appointed to you."
- In the book Letters from Camp, the selfish family of former child stars running the summer camp have the Catch Phrase "We'd rather sing than fight, 'cause being polite is such a delight." One of the campers comments, "If they're polite, I'm Snow White."
- In Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, daring astronaut Commander Shanks receives a message. The man contacting him claims to be the president of the United States. "And this is the Wizard of Oz" responds Shanks.
- In The Green Mile, when Wild Bill Wharton starts pitching a (fake) epileptic fit, Harry points it out, but Brutal just says, "Right, and my sister's the Whore of Babylon. She dances the hoochie-coochie in a long white veil."
- In f&sf fandom you'll still hear "Oh yeah — and I'm the Kumquat Haagen-Dasz!" from people who have no idea where it came from. It's from National Lampoon's Doon, their only novel other than Bored of the Rings.
- From the third book in The Baby-Sitters Club series, Claudia dismissively talks about the founders of the Baby-Sitters Agency:
Claudia : Those two aren't baby-sitters any more than I'm the Queen of France.
- "The Story So Far", a Dorothy Parker pastiche by John Clarke, is a list of how wonderful various world hotspots are doing, concluding:
Go rent a car,
Go purchase a suit.
And I'm King Canute.
- In the first episode of Garth Marenghis Darkplace:
Liz: I had a vision — I'm a psychic.
Dagless: And I'm Bo Derek.
Liz: No you're not.
Dagless: You're right, I'm not. I guess I use sarcasm as a defense.
- Star Trek
- In the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "The Castle of Fu Manchu" we get this:
Smith: (on the radio) This is Nayland Smith broadcasting from the castle of Fu Manchu...
Servo: (as the guy at the other end of the radio) Oh, right, and this is Mickey Mouse broadcasting from Disneyland.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- One aspiring vampire smarms that when he kills Buffy, it'll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. "And I should know. I was there." Behind him, Spike's famous voice cuts in:
Spike: Oh please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock.
- In his first scene, Willy the Snitch demurs that he's staying away from that whole vampire scene and "living right." ("What's My Line, Pt.1")
Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.
- The Dukes of Hazzard: Bo and Luke dealing with an official whose identification somehow disappeared:
- Life on Mars: Sam accidentally reminiscing about the day he made DCI (in the future) to the DCI, Gene Hunt.
Gene: Was that the same day I became King of Egypt?
- In The Suite Life of Zack and Cody a mall security guard refuses to believe that one of the twins' friends actually is a prince and says "And I'm the Queen of Sheeba". The prince, being incredibly naive, believes her and refers to her as "your majesty" for the rest of the episode. She thinks he's being a funny boy smart aleck until she learned the truth. He even promotes her to his cabinet at the end.
- The Mary Tyler Moore Show; in one episode when Mary Richards and Lou Grant were visiting Washington DC on a news story, Lou claimed that he was playing poker with several prominent statesmen, including then-President Gerald Ford. When Betty Ford calls to ask if the President left his pipe behind, Mary is not convinced, thinking her impression stinks;
Betty Ford: Hello, Mary, this is Betty Ford.
Mary: Hello, Betty, this is Mary — Queen of Scots.
- From The Golden Girls:
- Subverted in episode 8, "The Royal Quadrille", of the television series Edward The Seventh. Edward, then Prince of Wales, is visiting Denmark,note and goes for a country walk with two other royal visitors, the Tsar of Russianote and the King of Greece.note The three attempt a short cut home, get lost, and seek assistance from a peasant driving a cart. The peasant is understandably sceptical when they attempt to explain who they are.
- Subverted on Cheers, when the man on the stool next to Norm claims to be the Speaker of the House.
Norm: Hah! That would make you Tip O'Neill, and me... (recognizing him) a horse's ass.
Tip O'Neill: You said it, not me.
- On Threes Company, Roper is incredibly freaked out when he and Jack wake up in bed together after a wild night of partying, so Jack confesses to him that he's straight.
Roper: If you're straight, then I'm the King of Siam!
Jack: Mr. Roper...
Roper: And you're the Queen!
- From the musical version of The Scarlet Pimpernel:
Percy: Lud love me, such conjecturing could drive a man insane
And I'm the one to set this gossip quite to rest
The Pimpernel is me!
Marguerite: Indeed, and I'm the Queen of Spain!
Percy: She's disguised herself
But now she has at last confessed
- In Spamalot, when King Arthur first introduces himself as "King of the Britons", a castle guard answers, "And I'm the emperor of Norway, bugger off." In the original movie he just answered, "Pull the other one!"
- Dragon Age: Origins
- A templar named Carroll guards the docks and only way to the Mage's Tower. Showing him the treaties will elicit this response from him:
Carroll: Yes. Oh, a Grey Warden seal. Aha! So you're claiming to be one of those! You know I have some documents, too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva.
The Warden: Aren't queens female?
Carroll: Don't question royalty!
- Later, in Morrigan's Fade nightmare, she tells the false Flemeth, "You are as much my mother as my little finger right here is the Queen of Ferelden!"
- Another BioWare example that acts as an inversion. In Knights of the Old Republic, your Player Character can tell several folks "And I'm Darth Revan." Most of them assume you're just invoking this trope and being sarcastic...
- Mega Man Powered Up has "Mega Man?" requesting that Oil Man join up with Dr. Wily, Oil Man's response is "Ha Ha. Real Funny. If you're Mega Man, then I'm Dr. Light!"
- In The Simpsons Hit & Run, this exchange is made between Bart and Krusty:
Bart: Krusty, listen carefully, aliens are handing out free laser guns and cola that makes you go crazy. It'll be a massacre, the streets will be littered with lasered-off limbs and heads.
Krusty: Yeah right, and I'm getting into the Country Western Hall of Fame. It just ain't gonna happen, kid.
- In Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, after Naked Snake (while using a fake identity) asked if they were CODESA to Amanda, Amanda responded with "Yeah, and I'm Papa Noel."
- This little gem from early on in Diablo III:
Male Villager: Did you see that stranger next to old Cain? I was listening to him talk. I'd bet he comes from Westmarch.
Female Villager: Oh, really? So people from there usually travel by falling star? Use your head. If he's from Westmarch, I'm empress of Caldeum.
- The Nostalgia Critic plays with this in his review of Jack Frost.
Nostalgia Critic: I don't know why, I just really have a hang-up that this band could be successful. I mean, they really think this would span out through a large audience?
Yeah right, and I'm in this month's issue of Entrepreneur!
- He opens said magazine toward the camera, and then does a Double Take as he realizes there's indeed a picture of Doug Walker on the page.
Nostalgia Critic: Well, they'll print anything these days.
- From the Static Shock / Batman Beyond crossover, "Future Shock", when Static meets the future Batman:
Batman's not going to be happy about how you're treating his guests. Terry:
First off, we don't have guests here. Second off, I'm
Yeah, and I'm Beyoncé
(later walks in
) What's going on here? Terry:
He says his name is Beyoncé.
- Looney Tunes
- Played with in the short Duck Rabbit Duck. Bugs Bunny has tricked Elmer Fudd into thinking he shot him by dressing up as an angel, after which Daffy replies with this:
Daffy: Are you nuts? Why, if he's dead, then I'M a mongoose.
(Bugs then holds up a "MONGOOSE SEASON OPEN" sign, and then Elmer shoots Daffy)
- We have this little gem from Forward March Hare:
Sergeant: Oh, Private Bugs Bunny. Well, I'm Sergeant Porky Pig.
Colonel: Sergeant! And I am Colonel Puddy Tat. General Tweety Pie was asking about you, Sergeant.
- In Aladdin: The Series, Jasmine steals a mirror in an attempt to show that she could make it as a "street rat" like Al. Iago mocks her by saying "If you're a street rat, then I'm a frilled lizard." Unfortunately, the mirror is magic, and turns both of them into a rat and a frilled lizard, respectively. Iago is later shown kicking himself for not saying something like "If you're a street rat, then I'm the world's richest parrot!" instead.
- From the Sushi Pack episode "Sweet Tooth" during an airing of his show, Sugar Jimmy disputes claims that his snack bars lack nutritional value:
Most snack foods are manufactured by smoke-belching factories, but Sugar Jimmy Golden Gobble Blobble Bars are handmade by magical leprechauns as they dance on a beautiful rainbow. Maguro:
. And chocolate is made by tiny gnomes inside of hollow rocks. Tako: Gee, I didn't know that.
- Constantly used by Courage in early seasons of Courage the Cowardly Dog, with Lampshading.
Courage: There's something wrong here, or my name's Archibald! And it's not.
- The Smurfs
- In episode "Romeo and Smurfette", when Papa Smurf has switched bodies with Gargamel (long story), and the Smurfs have caught not-Gargamel, he reveals that he's really Papa Smurf. Cue one Smurf: "Yes, and I'm Smurfette." This scene comes from the comic book story Smurf Versus Smurf.
- In "The Magic Egg", Papa Smurf sees the three Smurfs who have turned themselves in Papa Smurf and says, "If you're me, then I'm a monkey's uncle", while inadvertently hitting the magic egg — and becomes a monkey!
- The Simpsons
- Ed, Edd n Eddy
- In the episode "The Day the Ed Stood Still":
Come on, everybody, Plank
says he heard something over here. Kevin:
Yeah, right, and I'm the king of Siam. Rolf:
And Rolf is the head of cabbage!
- Also from "Sorry Wrong Ed":
(answering the phone
) It's probably Nazz. Edd:
And I'm Theodor Geisel
- Batman: The Animated Series: Hugo Strange attempts to auction off Batman's Secret Identity to some of his rogues. When the deal goes south, Strange begs for his life with it (and Harvey unintentionally defends Bruce):
Dr. Strange: I was set up! Bruce Wayne is Batman!
Two-Face: That's absurd. I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the king of England.
- In the Justice League Unlimited episode "The Great Brain Robbery", the Flash and Lex Luthor switch minds after a botched mind-scanning attempt on both the Leaguers' and the Legion of Doom's sides. When Flash, in Lex Luthor's body, goes to see Grodd, he quickly sees it through:
- Used in 101 Dalmatians: The Series when Spot the chicken becomes a dog:
Spot: Hey, guys, guess what? I'm a dog!
Rolly: Yeah, so?
Spot: No, you guys, it's me, Spot!
Lucky: Yeah, right. And I'm Thunderbolt.
- Pac-Man: After Pac-Man is falsely arrested for bank robbery in "Public Pac-Enemy No. 1" (paraphrasing):
I'm not Pretty-Boy Pac! I'm Pac-Man! Police Officer:
Sure, and I'm Thomas Jefferpac
No, you're not!
- In the first episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender , introducing Appa:
Aang: This is Appa, my flying bison.
Sokka: Right. And this is Katara, my flying sister.
- Used in the weather episode of The Magic School Bus. If Ralphie's Weatherman, then Keesha's the Queen of England.
- Zig-zagged: the finale to Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse reboot, "Mighty's Tone Poem", featured a clip from season 1 and edited frames from that clip. It was from "Night of the Bat-Bat" where Bat-Bat confronts the Cow:
Well! If it isn't the famous Bat-Bat! Bat-Bat:
Yes, and if it isn't the famous Cow! Cow:
I see you brought the famous Bug Wonder with you. Bat-Bat:
Yes, and I see you brought the famous Merv Griffin
! (cut to a cartoon Merv Griffin at a desk waving
- The Real Ghostbusters: The ghostbusters traveled to Scotland once when Ray inherited the title of Duke of Dunkirk. When he attempted to rally some of the locals to help fight an army of Highlander ghosts, Ray introduced himself as the Duke of Dunkirk. One local answered, "Sure, and I'm Dick Whittington's Cat!" It didn't keep the local from helping when Ray offered money.
- Filmations Ghostbusters often used the "monkey's uncle" variant, usually followed by an irritated grunt from Tracy.
- On Gargoyles, when King Arthur told Griff who he was, Griff responded with, "And I'm the Queen Mum!"
- On Rugrats, Stu gets this line from police after he's caught trying to break back into Drew's house, after getting locked out.
Sure you are, and you're the Queen of England. Stu:
, King of the Jungle.
- Clark Kent joked with the trope at the end of a Superfriends episode. He and Lois Lane were at a museum watching a lamp and Lois wondered if it was magical. Clark said that, if it was, he's Superman. It wasn't but it didn't keep Mr Mxyzptlk from toying with the idea through the episode.
- Johnny Bravo tried to warn Suzy about her doll being alive. She then sarcastically said she was Tina Turner.
- In the Rugrats episode "Home Movies", when Angelica sees Tommy as a weird version of Superman in Chuckie's home movie:
Angelica: If he's Tommy, then I'm the Queen of English!
- Garfield and Friends
- On an episode:
- From "The Horror Hostess"
If there's a dragon, then I'm Bugs Bunny
(a dragon appears behind him and Odie and roars
Ehh, what's up, doc?
- Dungeons & Dragons: The Dungeon Master appears at the end of an episode where the heroes have been deceived by two impersonators, which led Eric to accuse him of being another impersonator. Eric's response to the Dungeon Master claiming to be the real one was claiming he's a blue baboon — and he ends up being turned into a real one. (Butt Monkey, anyone?)
- An episode of TaleSpin had a character sarcastically tell Genius Ditz Wildcat that she's "The Queen of Sheba". It goes right over his head, and he spends the rest of the episode addressing her as such.
- In House of Mouse, Mickey once replies to some incredulous statement with "Right! And I'm Mickey Mouse!" (Beat) "Hey, wait! I am Mickey Mouse!"
This website is actually 4Chan? Suuuuure
, and I'm Derpy Hooves