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And I'm the Queen of Sheba

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After the volume ended, that legionnaire would soon be dealing with legal name-change procedures and same-name arguments with the real deal too.

Sanjei: Unhand me, peasant. I am Prince Sanjei of Ishkabar.
Delilah: Mm-hmm, and I'm the Queen of Sheba.
Sanjei: Oh, nice to meet you, your highness.

A form of sarcastic rejoinder, responding to an improbable statement with an even more improbable statement.

Bob: I'm actually the High King Bobertissimus in disguise!
Alice: Yeah, and I'm the Pope on a skiing holiday.

Popular forms include "I'm the Queen of Sheba", "I'm a monkey's uncle", "I'm the Queen of England", and "I'm the King of Siam".

This can lead to interesting results if Bob takes Alice at her word, which may be because he's constitutionally deaf to sarcasm, didn't expect her to disbelieve his original statement, or doesn't recognize the improbability of her response. Or Bob may sarcastically reference Alice's statement when his improbable statement is proven true. See Cue the Flying Pigs.

See also Or My Name Isn't.... Compare Ask a Stupid Question... and Is the Answer to This Question "Yes"?. If the person is secretly who they are claiming to be and only saying it in a sarcastic manner to throw the listener off, it's a Sarcastic Confession. If the person genuinely believes to be royalty but isn't, see Napoleon Delusion.


Examples:

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    Advertising 
  • During The World Cup in 1990 in Italy, Sebastião Lazaroni, coach of the Brazilian team, appeared in a Fiat ad where he was stopped in Turin by an Italian traffic guard that said "Lazaroni, Brazilian, coach of the Brazilian squad, driving a Brazilian car. Nice to meet you, I'm the Pope."

    Anime & Manga 
  • Sailor Moon: Luna and Artemis constantly rip on the antics of their charges throughout the series. The DIC dub often exaggerated this, particularly with Luna:
    Amy: Raye, did you cut class to go home to change?
    Raye: [in white T-shirt and pink overalls] No, it just so happens I took a change of clothes this morning. My uniform's in the bag.
    Luna: Yes, and I'm a purple cockatoo.
  • This happens in the dub of Yu Gi Oh 5Ds when Crow tries to get in to see an old friend who's now a rich CEO.
    Crow: For the last time, I got business with Bolton!
    Guard: Sure, ya' do — and I got dinner plans tonight with Seto Kaiba.

    Comic Books 
  • In the seventh issue of Animal Man (2011), Cliff Baker tries to impress a pair of girls by telling them that his dad is Animal Man after noticing that one of them is wearing a T-shirt of his father. They don't believe him, with one snarking that her mother is Wonder Woman and the other claiming that her father is the Joker.
  • In the Asterix story Asterix and Obelix All at Sea, a de-aged Obelix meets a group of Roman soldiers and tries to attack them. The Romans (naturally) don't believe the little boy attacking them really is Obelix. One of the legionaires then claims to be Queen Cleopatra to mock Obelix's claims.
  • The eighth issue of Aztek: The Ultimate Man has Julia Frostick's fiancé reply to the claim that Curt Falconer is Aztek by joking that he's Impulse and that they'll later team up to fight Bane.
  • Death: The Time of Your Life: When the model assigned to be Foxglove's beard for the film premiere turns up and claims to be her date, her bodyguard Boris (who knows Foxglove is a lesbian) snaps back, "And I'm Princess Di".
  • Dial H for Hero: The story featured in issue 42 of New Adventures of Superboy has such an exchange happen during the exterior shot of a comic convention.
    Voice One: I heard the owner's got connections with Marv Wolfman and he'll get the winner a guest shot in The New Teen Titans!
    Voice Two: Yeah, right— And my mother can introduce you to Sarah Lee!
  • In a Brazilian Bug-a-Booo comic filled with references to The Beatles, with the "Paul Is Dead" hoax as a framing device:
    "If he is Paul McCartney, then I am the walrus!" (said by a female reporter about Skully)
  • Disney Ducks Comic Universe, The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: While on a train in "Buckaroo of the Badlands", Scrooge meets a fellow who has some "Square Eggs" on him. Unbelieving, Scrooge crows, "If this is a square egg, then I'm the chicken that laid it."
  • In the 23rd issue of G.I. Joe (Devil's Due), Stalker asks Scarlett how she's holding up. Scarlett claims that she has no problems and Stalker replies by facetiously claiming he is Wesley Snipes.
  • Harley Quinn: The fourth issue of volume one has Harley Quinn meet a man named Lester Wilde who claims he looks like the Joker. Harley Quinn laughs and retorts that she looks just like Wonder Woman.
  • Iznogoud:
    • In the animated version of the story "Incognito", Iznogoud persuades the sultan to go out dressed as a beggar to satisfy his desire to see what his subjects think of him, then orders the palace guards to arrest any beggars who arrive at the gates, whoever they say they are. However, the sultan gets lost on the way back, and Iznogoud and his henchman Adulahf disguise themselves as beggars to go out and look for him. The sultan ends up returning while the guard is changing and so slips past them unnoticed, while when Iznogoud returns and insists he's the grand vizier, the guard on duty chuckles, "And I'm the Queen of Sheba!"
    • "Nuts' Day", the animated version of the comic "The Day of Misrule", sees servants become masters and masters become servants for a day; Iznogoud, in a bid to make his temporary promotion to sultan permanent, tries to rouse the people into making Nuts' Day a year-round event, but they insist he is too rich to lead a people's revolt. So he gives his fortune to Adulahf and sells himself into slavery for free, only to discover that midnight has struck and Nuts' Day is over, whereupon he is arrested as a runaway slave. He protests that he is really the grand vizier, and the two guards transporting him fire back, "And we're Solomon and the Queen of Sheba!"
    • In the animated version of "The Labyrinth", Iznogoud is about to paint a sign on the magic labyrinth in which he plans to permanently trap the sultan (who keeps getting distracted by other games and activities) when a policeman walks up and fines him for vandalism. Iznogoud tries to explain to the policeman that he is the grand vizier, and so outranks the policeman; the unimpressed policeman retorts, "And I'm the Queen of Sheba!"
  • The 12th issue of Justice League Adventures has some reporter flying to the capital of Bijouti to cover the relief effort occurring during a heatwave. After seeing that the country has frozen over, one of them remarks "If that city's going through a heat wave, then you guys must be elves, 'cause I'm Santa Claus!"
  • Laff-A-Lympics: Brenda tells Shaggy he can't enter the yodeling contest because his yodeling sounds like someone calling a pig. He says that if she's a judge of yodeling then he's Fred Flintstone.
  • Static: In the 43rd issue, Static encounters a de-powered Brickhouse. Because she is a normal human and not a tall monster made of bricks, Static makes it clear he doesn't believe her claims of being Brickhouse by quipping "Yeah, right! And I'm Icon!"
  • The Transformers (Marvel):
    • In "The Resurrection Gambit" (Issue 57 of the U.S. version, Issues 243-245 in the UK version), a damaged Megatron proclaims his identity in front of an empty (Cybertronian derelict) and the empty replies "Yep, an' I'm Lord Straxus."
    • "Bird of Prey" (Issue 62 of the U.S. version, Issues 262-264 in the UK version) has a robotic gangster named B'hgdad demand that Nightbeat give him the bird sculpture because it is his property. Nightbeat retorts that if the bird truly is B'hgdad's property, then he's Peter Lorre.
  • Ultimate Spider-Man: Peter and MJ are alone in Peter's room, and MJ screamed. May asks what's happening. "We're studying!" "And I'm Katie Couric!"
  • W.I.T.C.H.: Elyon introduces herself as Princess Elyon and a local says he's a little butterfly.
  • Wonder Woman: Amazonia: Stephen Trevor informs his landlady Mrs. Wallace that he'll be dining at Buckingham Palace with the king. Mrs. Wallace retorts that she'll be at the ascot races on Friday with the Great Mogul of Siam.

    Comic Strips 
  • Garfield
    • From a 1984 comic:
      Television showing Uncle Roy: Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll... It seems old Bob bit Mr Blue Jeans the Mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue a career as a laboratory animal.
      Garfield: And I'm Frank Sinatra.
    • A later one:
      Garfield: I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. Every day in every way. And I'm gonna grow wings and I'm gonna fly, too.
  • The Moomins comic strip had several storylines in which the Moomins used a Time Machine to travel back in time (usually because Moominpappa longed for the glory and romance of the old days, only to find out that the old days weren't as glorious or romantic as he thought), and at one point the trope was played, word for word, when the family went back to Ancient Egypt. At their first stop, the Moomins are mistaken for gods because, in the words of the Egyptians, "who but a god would dare to take on the appearance of the holy white hippo?" However, when the family make a time-jump for a century or so and try their God Guise again, the new Egyptians just shake their heads:
    Moominpappa: My good man, I am Horus. This is Isis, Osiris, and Ra.
    Random Egyptian: Of course. And I'm the Queen of Sheba.
  • Over the Hedge: RJ claims to be God (It Makes Sense in Context). Verne points out that he's a raccoon. RJ responds with "I'm a raccoon and a god."
    Verne: Right. And I'm a turtle and the Queen of England.
    RJ: Cross-species and a crossdresser? I had no idea.

    Fan Works 
  • One Ask Fluffle Puff comic has Cadance saying "Yeah, right! And I'm Queen of the Changelings!" For extra humor, she's saying it to Queen Chrysalis.
  • Beyond the Veil Volume One: Arrival:
    Wolverine: Just who are you, bub?
    Thor: I am Thor, God of Thunder.
    Iron Man: Right, and I'm the Tin Man, and there's the Scarecrow.
  • Dear Order:
    Mad-Eye Moody: The boy is here. He has to be!
    Luna: If that is the truth, then I am a caterpillar. And if you are proven correct, then I shall indeed wrap myself in a cocoon and emerge a butterfly.

    Hermione: Don't pretend you had nothing to do with it.
    Harry: I'm completely innocent.
    Hermione: And I'm the tooth fairy.
  • Defiance:
    Shopkeeper: Seven hundred galleons.
    Sirius: Yeah, too pricy. Lower it.
    Shopkeeper: Can't, took me six hundred and fifty to get it, ya know?
    Sirius: Yes, and I am Merlin reincarnated.
  • Dropped Beats (Homestuck, NSFW), referencing the fandom joke of it always being a toss-up whether adding "troll" to a famous person or thing will mean an Alternian will recognize it:
    Dave: You okay, bro? I'm not gonna lie, I'm like two seconds from pissing my britches over here.
    Gamzee: Yeah, brother. I'M FINE.
    Dave: Yeah, okay, and I'm Drew Carey.
    Gamzee: who?
    Dave: um... Troll Drew Carey?
    Gamzee: OH. right.
  • In Eleutherophobia: The Thing from Another World, the Animorphs tell Tom that he's an estreen, someone naturally talented at morphing, but he doesn't want to believe them. After a moment of introspection, he tries to change the subject by joking that he's Anastasia Romanov.
  • In an Empath: The Luckiest Smurf comic gag, a drunken Grouchy thinks that Empath is actually Jokey wearing an Empath disguise in order to fool him. When Empath tells him that he's actually Empath, Grouchy replies, "And I'm Smurfette."
  • Eleanor Arneson and Ruth Berman gave this line to a cop in "The Face on the Barroom Floor", a Star Trek fan novella in which Captain Kirk, after going incognito on shore leave, can't convince anyone of his real identity.
  • Gorgoneion:
    Dumbledore: My name is Albus Dumbledore and I'm the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
    Harry: Witchcraft and Wizardry? Sure! And I'm Santa Claus, while my mother is Queen Elizabeth II.
  • Harry Potter and the American Exchange:
    Girl: What's your name? Beck said you were here to join the second year?
    Harry: Oh, yeah. I'm Harry. Harry Potter.
    Boy: Yeah, and I'm Snuffleupagus.
  • Relief from Nightmares:
    • Neville comes across a plotting Harry and Ron.
      Neville: What are you guys up to?
      Harry/Ron: Nothing.
      Neville: Uh huh, and I'm a Blast-Ended Skrewt.
    • Harry returns to Gryffindor Tower after a fight with his soulmate.
      Ron: What's happened mate?
      Harry: Nothing.
      Ron: Uhuh, and I'm a niffler.
  • In Harry Potter and the Dream Come True James returns to his body after fourteen years of torment in Hell.
    James: Look, Remus, I know this is hard to believe, but it's no joke. I really am James Potter!
    Remus: Right. You're James Potter. And I'm the Muggle Queen of England.
  • In Harry Potter and the Power of Will Harry is required to testify during his uncle's trial at the wizarding court in Diagon Alley.
    Secretary: Names?
    McGonagall: Harry Potter and Minerva McGonagall.
    Secretary: Uh huh, and I'm in the Ministry of Magic and working here under-cover.
  • How Stormer Got Her Groove Back: Stormer replies with the trope namer after Riot tries to coax her on a date:
    Riot: What is so dangerous about coffee?
    Stormer: Coffee is not dangerous. You are dangerous.
    Riot: I am tame as a kitten.
    Stormer: Yeah, and I'm the Queen of Sheba.
  • In The Legend of Zelda: Paradise Calling, when Link tries to tell Malon that the gargoyle statue came to life and attacked him.
    Link: I'm not crazy. I know what I saw.
    Malon: [snorts] Uh huh. Next thing you'll be telling me is that there are dragons living in Death Mountain. [starts to dab him with an antiseptic potion]
    Link: Well actually, now that yo—AAAAGH!
  • Making Change:
    Hermione: I'll be all right. Besides, you're sneaking off to see Susan.
    Harry: If you're all right, I'm the Prince of Wales.
  • The Many Dates of Danny Fenton: Not believing Dipper's claim that there's nothing wrong, Danny says "Yeah, and I'm a blonde...".
  • In My Mirror, Sword and Shield, a Britannian Royal Guard has this reaction when Suzaku tries to avoid a confrontation to prepare for the Battle of Narita.
    Suzaku: I'm on important business from the emperor.
    Guard: Of course you are, Eleven. And I'm the emperor's cousin.
  • Niflheim Academy:
    Hagrid: Yeh're a blithering idiot who ought go an' boil his head. 'Arry's a good lad. Heir o' Slytherin, an' I'm the Queen of Tir-nan-ogg.
  • No Competition:
    Ally: Two words, Lucifer. Holy. Water.
    Lucifer: I'm behaving!
    Ally: And I'm the sugar plum fairy.
  • Penny Saves Paldea: Director Clavell calls Penny to ask if he can take part in Operation Starfall while also claiming to be a student named Clive. Penny's immediate response is to sarcastically think And I'm Mega Diancie.
  • Pokémon Crossing: During their confrontation at Mt. Chimney:
    Dobie: Would you believe me if I said Meteor Falls has the key to revitalizing the world?
    Benedict: Revitalizin' the world? Yeah, an’ I’m the Champion of the Hoenn region!
  • Predator and Prey:
    Sirius: James isn't that bad, you know.
    Lily: Right, and I am Morgana Le Fay.
  • Prediction, no thank you!:
    Jessica: You didn't get hurt, right?
    Harry: No I'm fine.
    Terry: Harry, you might be physically alright, but you're not fine, considering everything that happened the past day. If you are I'm a llama.
  • In Second Wind, a One Piece Peggy Sue Fan Fiction, Chapter 24 has Ace give this reaction when Luffy and Zoro tell him their secret:
    Ace: Oh, sure, you're from the future. Yea, and I'm a park ranger.
  • In the Miraculous Ladybug fanfic The Short-Legged Vixen:
  • One of the weirdest examples comes from the Ghost The Threat episode of The Star War Gatherings. During the Ford Race, Sebulba says that if The Peaceful Is Willing To (Anakin) is not a slave, he will pumpkin.
  • In Steal the Truth, Reach Out For Your Heart, Nanako Dojima lies about being 20 to a guy who caught her going into the Jazz Jin. The guy responds with “And [he’s] famous saxophone player Sadao Kujo”. Nanako believes him.
  • Stjepan Sejic posted this original pic on Deviant Art in which Ally and Lisa meet new Batman villainess White Rabbit, whose outfit wouldn't be out of place in Ally's sizable fetish wardrobe.
    White Rabbit: I happen to be a supervillain!
    Ally: And I happen to be a suspension bridge.
    Lisa: Dinosaur, right here.
  • In This Gonna Be Good Harri is unconscious due to an injured magical core and Tonks is forced to impersonate her.
    Katie: If you're Harriet Potter then I'm Draco Malfoy in a tutu.
  • Toonatopia: The Animation Initiation:
    Plankton: NICE TRY! BUT NONE OF YOU ARE A MATCH FOR ME! BECAUSE I AM UNDEFEATABLE! I AM THE GREATEST CARTOON EVER!
    Bugs Bunny: Yeah yeah, and I'm Tex Avery.
  • In Wait, What? Hermione tells Ron to stop staring at Fleur.
    Ron: I wasn't staring.
    Hermione: Yeah, and I'm Voldemort's apprentice.
  • When the Brush hits the Canvas: When an old man yells at Link for stopping him from drinking his milk in peace:
    If this guy is drinking milk then I'm the King of Evil.
  • Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series manages to combine this with Actor Allusion:
    Kaiba's Shadow: I'm Seto Kaiba's ghost.
    Yami: And I'm Knuckles the Echidna.
    • The same episode gave us this gem:
      Yami: If you're a ghost, then I'm straight.

    Film — Animation 
  • Barbie In Rock N Royals: When Princess Aubrey and Princess Genevieve tell Erika they have unicorns at Camp Royalty, she sarcastically replies that they have centaurs at Camp Pop.
  • Ice Age: The Meltdown: This is how Manny responds to Ellie calling herself a possum:
    Manny: I'm a newt. This [points to Diego] is my friend the badger, and [points to Sid] my other friend, the platypus.
    Sid: Why do I gotta be the platypus? Make him the platypus!
  • The Lion King:
    • Played with and combined with Stealth Insult.
      Simba: Hey, Uncle Scar, when I'm king, what will that make you?
      Scar: A monkey's uncle.
    • Also in this alternate take where Simba and Nala reunite and Nala tells him that he is the rightful king:
      Timon: King? [scoffs] Lady, have you got your lions crossed.
      Nala: No, really. He is the rightful king.
      Timon: Yeah, he's the king, I'm the emperor, and this [points to Pumbaa] is the Grand Pumbaa.
  • Disney's The Prince and the Pauper when the Prince (dressed in pauper's clothes) tries to stop a food vendor to give the hungry people food.
    Prince: Halt! I am the Prince, and I command you to surrender your entire inventory.
    Vendor: And I'm the queen's mother! Be off with ya!
  • At the end of Recess: School's Out, when Phillium Benedict and his army of anti-recess extremists are being arrested after their plot to destroy summer vacation is foiled by T.J. and his friends:
    Benedict: Get your hands off the suit, you classless feeb! I am the former Secretary of Education!
    Policeman: Yeah, yeah, and I'm the former princess of Morocco. Get in the car!
  • Space Jam: Bugs Bunny appeals to Michael Jordan to help the Looney Tunes beat the Monstars in a basketball game because Michael Jordan is... well... a basketball player. And a great one at that. His response?
    Michael Jordan: ...But I'm a baseball player now.
    Bugs Bunny: Right, and I'm a Shakespearean actor. [takes out a Hamlet skull, looks at it for a few seconds, then tosses it off-screen]
  • Superman vs. the Elite has this exchange:
    Lois Lane: If she knows anything then I'm Martian Manhunter.
    Clark Kent: There go all my fantasies.
  • In Willy the Sparrow, upon meeting Serena, who claims she's a Sparrow Guardian, a disbelieving Willy scoffs "Right, and I'm Batman!"

    Film — Live-Action 
  • In About Scout, a woman working at the daycare says that Lulu is too old and needs to be in public school. When Scout says, "She is four," the woman says, "If Tallulah is four, I'm the queen of Sheba, and I don't see no crowns sitting on top of my head."
  • Air Force One sees the President phoning the White House's switchboard, asking to be transferred to the Situation Room. The receptionist refuses—as the President doesn't call that number—and, after he tells her he's the President, she responds with, "And I'm the First Lady".
  • Army of Darkness: "Maybe, just maybe, my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot."
  • In the 1934 Barrymore brothers film Arsène Lupin (1932), Lupin, a Master of Disguise, is posing as the Duc d'Chamaras. When Inspector Guerchard hears that the Duke is in town, and hears his description, he proclaims, "If he's the Duc d'Chamaras, then I'm the Queen of Rumania!" This gets an Ironic Echo later down the line, via a false Cue the Flying Pigs.
  • In the Disney version of Babes in Toyland, when Barnaby announces to Mother Goose Village his intention to get married to Mary Contrary, he says...
    Barnaby: You are looking at a very happy man!
    Sylvester the goose: [to Mother Goose] If he's happy, I'm a chicken.
  • In Big Fat Liar, as Jason is being dragged out of Wolf's movie studio protesting that he wrote the titular movie, one of the security guards dragging him jokes "Yeah, and I wrote The Nutty Professor!"
  • The Marx Brothers' movie The Big Store:
    Mr. Grover: Aw, if you're a detective, I'm a monkey's uncle.
    Wolf J. Flywheel: Keep your family out of this!
  • The Bobo: Singer/matador Peter Sellers is posing as a representative to a rich count to fool Britt Ekland. They arrive at a posh resort where he introduces himself to the manager as "emissary to His Excellency Martin Aragon Bocales de Villa Banal de Guilia de Comperes, the Count of Villa Banal." The manager breezily replies "And I am Louis XIV!" It's hard to tell if it's sarcasm, as he is dressed like the monarch.
  • Bruce Almighty: Quoth Jim Carrey's character, the titular Bruce: "If that was God, then I'm Clint Eastwood!" The catch: that really was God, and Bruce just received God's powers.
    Bruce: [as Clint] Be careful what you wish for... punk.
  • Calamity Jane: The small-town theatre hall owner in Deadwood sarcastically says this when Calamity asks why he doesn't send for Adelaide Adams, a big star of the Chicago stage.
    Calamity: Why don't you send for her?
    Henry: Sure. Why don't I send for the Queen of Sheba?
    Bill: Yeah.
    Calamity: ...No good. They want Adelaide!
  • In Class Act, when Duncan is in jail, he tries to tell the guard that he's a highly-intelligent honor student who has never been in trouble before, he just dismisses him and says, "Uh-huh, and I'm Pee Wee Herman."
  • Clue: A cut line, though it still appears in the shooting script and the novelisation: after the Cop answers the ringing phone and is told he's speaking to J. Edgar Hoover, he replies "And I'm Harry Truman."
  • A variation in Commando after Matrix is arrested breaking into the gunstore.
    Matrix: If you call General Franklin Kirby he will explain everything to you!
    Cop: Kirby, huh? Yeah, I think we ran him in last week. [laughs]
  • In Con Air, once the pursuing cops realize the criminals duped them, a helicopter pilot goes "If that aircraft's carrying 30 prisoners, I'm Elvis Presley".
  • Crooked House: When Taverner questions Charles about his foray into intelligence work in Cairo, Charles protests:
    Charles: I was a diplomat.
    Taverner: And I'm a duchess!
  • In the film Crossed Swords, a version of The Prince and the Pauper, the Prince insists to the man who came to his defense that he was the Prince and he receives the reply "yes, and I'm Ivan the Terrible".
  • The Death of Stalin: An unusual one between Nicky Khrushchev and Vasily Stalin.
    Vasily: I want to make a speech at my father's funeral!
    Khrushchev: And I want to fuck Grace Kelly.
  • Die Hard with a Vengeance:
    Officer Wanda Schepard: Sergeant Turley, Sergeant Turley! In the last five minutes, the volume that comes here have tripled. What the hell is going on?
    Sgt Turley: Stop, let me explain. For the rest of the day, we are supposed to handle the department's communication.
    Wanda: What do you mean, handle?
    Sgt Turley: They are shutting down the police band. All calls will be coming through this switchboard.
    Wanda: And I'm going to marry Donald Trump.
  • Doctor in Love: A jealous Miss Strudwick has this to say after meeting Dr. Barrington:
    Dr. Hare: Er, Miss Strudwick, Dr. Barrington.
    Miss Strudwick: And I'm the minister of health!
  • Dominick and Eugene: When Larry says that Gino and Jennifer must be having sex, Nicky says, "He's just helping her study, that's all." Larry answers, "Sure, and I'm the Pope's long-lost son."
  • Entrapment: When Gin is trying to convince Mac that she is a thief:
    Gin: I stole the Rembrandt.
    Mac: And I painted the Sistine Chapel.
  • A literal example in the direct-to-video thriller Exception to the Rule, when private detective Burt Ramsey confronts the villainous Carla Rainer.
    Carla: We're lovers, and the point of this is to clean out the father-in-law Larry.
    Burt: Yeah, right. And I'm the Queen of fucking Sheba.
  • Face/Off has Castor Troy trying to convince his ex-girlfriend, Sasha, of his true identity while wearing Sean Archer's face.
    Castor Troy: Sasha... baby, I'm Castor. He's Archer.
    Sasha Hassler: And I'm bored.
  • Far and Away: The entire whorehouse can tell that Joseph and Shannon aren't related by blood.
    Molly: [after watching an argument between them] Why don't you shag her and get it over with?
    Joseph: She's... my sister!
    Molly: And I'm your mother.
  • Appears in Field of Dreams, when Ray introduces his brother-in-law Mark to Terrence Mann:
    Mark: Hi, how ya doin', I'm the Easter Bunny.
  • Forrest Gump: At one point, the jaded, legless Lt. Dan mocks Forrest's ambitions: "If you're ever a shrimp boat captain, that's the day I'm an astronaut"!
  • Going in Style (2017): When Joe says he's planning on committing a heist, Willie and Al have this reaction.
    Joe: I'm thinking of robbing a bank.
    Al: ...I'm thinking about buying a Ferrari.
    Willie: I just got drafted by the Knicks! Good week for everybody, huh?
  • A variation in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, when Jackson and Tuco's paths finally cross. Tuco believes that Carson is who he says, but he doesn't care.
    Jackson: My name is Bill Carson now. It's Carson. Surprise attack. All dead. My name is Jackson, not Carson.
    Tuco: Carson, Carson, yeah, yeah. Glad to meet you, Carson, I'm Lincoln's grandfather.
  • In the Richard Attenborough film Grey Owl, where Pierce Brosnan plays the title character, a minor character says "[Grey Owl's] name is Archie Belaney, and if he's a red Indian, I'm the king of China." Grey Owl really was Archibald Belaney.
  • The Hunt for Red October: Comes up in some banter involving Seamen Jones and Beaumont and the COB (Chief of the Boat):
    COB: [to Beaumont] He gets to raggin' on you too bad, kid, you can always ask him about Pavarotti.
    Jones: COB, we don't have time for fish stories, okay? I was right in the middle of teaching Seaman Beaumont here the intricacies of modern sonar—
    COB: Yeah, and I ain't Chief of the Boat. I'm actually Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.
  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indy gets this trope when he tries to gain entry to the German castle where his father is being held by pretending to be Lord Clarence MacDonald, who has come to view the historic tapestries. The line as scripted and as shown in the novelizations was "I am Jesse Owens", but for reasons unknown the line was dubbed over before release.
    Butler: Yes, this is a castle. And we have many tapestries. But if you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!
  • It Takes Two (1995): At the salvage yard after Alyssa (disguised as Amanda) is adopted by the Butkises.
    Alyssa: My name's Alyssa Callaway!
    Harry Butkis: Yeah, right. And I'm Princess Di.
  • James Bond:
    • In Goldfinger, Bond and his caddy observe Auric Goldfinger blatantly cheating in a golf game. The caddy quips "If that's his original ball, I'm Arnold Palmer." (A documentary on the Bond franchise had a Gilligan Cut to the real Arnold Palmer, joking that he must be James Bond.)
    • In A View to a Kill, James Bond tells a SFPD officer that he's a British agent only to be met with "Yeah, and I'm Dick Tracy" before being arrested.
      • The French dub goes like "And I'm a bishop and I'll arrest you anyway".
  • Played with in Johnny Dangerously. The title character reminds the neighborhood that around his family, he's just Johnny Kelly, and then an an off-screen voice responds "And I'm the Pope!". Then the person who said that walks on screen and it turns out it is The Pope.
  • In A Kid in King Arthur's Court, King Arthur, traveling incogneto, scolds a woman for dumping water on him.
    Woman: And who do you think you are? The bloody King of England?
    King Arthur: As a matter of fact, I am your King.
    Woman: And I'm Cleo-bleedin'-patra!
  • Subverted in Kingdom of Heaven: At the end of the film, a party of crusaders comes to the village seeking Balian. Balian, who has had enough of adventure, says, "I am the blacksmith." The leader of the crusading party replies, "And I am the King of England." The camera then rests on the crown conjoined with his helmet; the leader is the King, Richard the Lionheart.
  • A Knight's Tale: William makes up a knightly moniker while speaking with Geoffrey Chaucer on the road.
    William: I'm Ulrich von Liechtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires, Delves of Dodgington, and Fowlhurst of Crewe.
    Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!
  • Naked Gun 33⅓: Frank Drebin is stopped at the entrance to the Oscars.
    Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
    Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
    Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
  • Played with in The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle. The catch here is that the cop actually is John Goodman.
    Rocky: But she [Karen] really is with the FBI.
    Cop: Yeah, and I'm really John Goodman.
  • In The Return of the Pink Panther, Inspector Clouseau's car and clothes are stolen by a transvestite thief, and he flags down a police car wearing the fur coat he was given. The officer gives him a ride to the nuthouse.
    Clouseau: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a moment! Wait a moment! I am Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!
    Officer: And I am officer Bardot.
    Clouseau: Bardot?
    Officer: But you can call me Brigitte!
  • Occurs twice in the 1994 version of The Shadow. The first time is when Commissioner Wainwright is under Lamont's hypnosis:
    Lamont: You're not going to appoint a police task force... There is no Shadow.
    Wainwright: There is no Shadow. If there were, I'd be Eleanor Roosevelt.
    • The second time is at the end, where Shiwan Khan is in the psych ward. He desperately cries out his name, only for the other inmates to respond that they're Babe Ruth, Napoleon, Princess Josephine, and other dignitaries.
  • In Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, when Fin, Nova, and Lucas try to enter a military base, Fin introduces himself as Fin Shepard, a personal friend of the Commanding Officer and the hero who saved the day against the previous two sharknadoes. The guard says, "And I'm the Easter Bunny!" Fortunately, the Commanding Officer shows up.
  • In Sherlock Holmes and the House of Fear, Nigel Bruce's caricatured Watson is hustled out by a constable who does not believe he is Dr. Watson.
    "And I'm Mrs. Miniver!"
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming: Peter is retiring from the academic decathlon, with the excuse that he wants to focus on his "Stark internship" (a cover for his Spider-Man activities), and Flash is offered the position; Flash snarks that he's "got a date with Black Widow".
  • Happens in Sunset when Wyatt Earp introduces himself to Michael Alperin for the first time:
    Michael: Then I'm Billy the Kid! And this here's Calamity Jane!
    Wyatt: No, she's not. Martha Jane Canary was a wonderful woman but she looked like an unmade bed. This young lady is far too pretty.
  • Tombstone Rashomon: According to Johnny Behan's account, when he asked Billy Claiborne who he was, Claiborne replied "I'm Billy the Kid", which Behan treats with wry amusement.
  • When Frawley introduces himself to Krista as an FBI agent in The Town, her response is to laugh and say "So am I!".
  • Tricky People plays this after Yello Dyno accosts Reginald at the mall.
    Reginald Charming: I'm an upstanding citizen.
    Yello Dyno: If you're an upstanding citizen, I'm Ethel Merman! There's no business like show business...
  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage has, after Mrs. Chen reacting to being called old with "I'm 39!", Venom responding "And I'm Barry Manilow!"
  • Willow: The title character, who has been tasked to bring a future queen (currently a baby) to her empire, has this exchange with the swordsman he's traveling with.
    Willow: She's really a princess.
    Madmartigan: Really? And you're a great sorcerer! And I'm the King of Cashmere. [beat] Go to sleep, Willow.
  • In Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, as the gang climbs aboard the boat:
    Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means my Veruca.
    Grandpa Joe: If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.

    Jokes 
  • There's an old and probably made-up anecdote about an American soldier who was serving in a world war, when he runs into a young Lieutenant. The American asks who the kid is. Kid says he's the Prince of Wales. The Yank says "And I'm the King of England!"note  A few months later, the same American is at a big to-do, which is also attended by the Prince of Wales. While the American tries to disappear, the Prince finds him, gets introduced, shakes the American's hand, and says "Hi, Dad!"

    Literature 
  • After the Revolution: Manny at one point uses "if that's true, then I'm the king of Albuquerque" (who is later revealed to be an actual person, but not Manny).
  • Another use of this one, and likely a Shout-Out to Dorothy Parker from Lori Shepherd in Aunt Dimity Takes a Holiday: when Emma tells her that her husband of ten years is actually a peer, Lori says, "Your husband is Viscount Hailesham. Of course he is. And I am Marie of Romania."
    • Aunt Dimity and the Next of Kin:
      Lori: I'll bet you a thousand pounds that there's a half-empty bottle of vodka in the kitchen.
      Gabriel: I'll bet you ten thousand pounds that it's more than half empty. If that woman's sober, I'm an insurance salesman.
  • From the third book in The Baby-Sitters Club series, Claudia dismissively talks about the founders of the Baby-Sitters Agency:
    Claudia: Those two aren't baby-sitters any more than I'm the Queen of France.
  • In Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, daring astronaut Commander Shanks receives a message. The man contacting him claims to be the president of the United States. "And this is the Wizard of Oz" responds Shanks.
  • Circleverse: In the first installment of Circle of Magic, Sandry, an aristocrat, and Daja, a member of a nomadic people held in contempt by mainstream society, meet and become friends at a school of magic. Sandry invites Daja to sit with her and some other girls of noble birth at dinner and introduces her to them as "Lady Daja". One of the girls mutters, "If that's a lady, I'm a cat." Outraged, Sandry pours milk from a pitcher onto the other girl's plate, saying:
    Sandry: I am Sandrilene fa Toren, daughter of Count Mattin fer Toren and his countess, Amiliane fa Landreg. I am the great-niece of his grace, Duke Vedris of this realm of Emelan, and cousin of her Imperial Highness, Empress Berenene of the Namorn Empire. You are Esmelle ei Pragin, daughter of Baron Witten en Pragin and his lady Colledia of House Wheelwright, a merchant house. If I tell you my friend is a lady, then you had best start lapping, kitty.
  • In A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, the king and the protagonist (who has travelled back to the past, and became King Arthur's court wizard using Magic from Technology) are captured while travelling undercover, and are sold to a slave trader. When the king chooses to break his incognito, his claims of being King Arthur are met by the sarcastic response that in that case the slave next to him must be his famous court wizard.
  • Discworld:
    • In Jingo, when 71-Hour Achmed sees Carrot.
      Achmed: And that man, I believe, is your king.
      Vimes: No.
      Achmed: Really? Then I am Queen Punjitrum of Sumtri.
    • Snuff has an inversion, when Vimes commandeers an oxboat:
      Chicken merchant: Who do you think you are? Bloody Commander Vimes?
      Vimes: Are you always this lucky, sir?
  • In Double Star when Dak denies that he's a spaceman, Lorenzo states that if he's a "ground hog" then Lorenzo is the mayor of Tycho City.
  • The Dresden Files uses this a lot as part of his Private Eye Monologue:
    "And maybe one of these days I'd go to an art museum and become well rounded."
    "And maybe dragons would fly out my butt."
  • In The Green Mile, when Wild Bill Wharton starts pitching a (fake) epileptic fit, Harry points it out, but Brutal just says, "Right, and my sister's the Whore of Babylon. She dances the hoochie-coochie in a long white veil."
  • In The Hallowed Hunt, "Darthaca" is the Fantasy Counterpart Culture of France.
    • When Learned Hallana, Ijada, and Ingrey discuss Ingrey's wolf-spirit, Hallana (who can perceive the wolf through her demon) says “If that’s a wolf’s soul, I’m the queen of Darthaca.”
    • Later, when Ijada and Ingrey discuss Earl Horseriver's horse-spirit, Ijada (who can perceive the horse through her leopard-spirit) says, “To quote Learned Hallana, if that’s a stallion, I’m the queen of Darthaca.”
  • In Haze, Kristie tells Jen, "I'm giving up boys. I want to concentrate on school work and do good works for charity in my spare time." Jen replies, "Right, and I'm Mother Theresa."
  • In Lawrence Block's Here Comes A Hero Evan gives Léon the US equivalent of 2500 francs to obtain a used passport and Léon comes back with a Belgian one which formerly belonged to the late Paul Mornay.
    Driver: I must apologize for Léon. I thought he was a trustworthy man.
    Evan: He brought the passport.
    Driver: If he paid more than a thousand francs for that passport then I am the bastard son of Enzo Ferrari and Queen Marie of Rumania. For twenty-five hundred francs one should obtain a U.S. or British passport in good order, not a shabby Belgian thing that requires further attention. One expects that Léon shall make a profit, but this is larcenous.
  • In Hidden Talents, Torchie sets his room on fire and then immediately claims that he did nothing. Martin thinks in response, "Yeah right. And I'm Abe Lincoln."
  • In The Hollows novel For a Few Demons More, Rachel's Miranda Rights to Trent:
    Rachel: If you can't afford [an attorney], hell has frozen over and I'm the princess of Oz, but in that case, one will be appointed to you.
  • In the book Letters From Camp, the selfish family of former child stars running the summer camp have the catchphrase "We'd rather sing than fight, 'cause being polite is such a delight." One of the campers comments, "If they're polite, I'm Snow White."
  • From Nation:
    Daphne: [The crew of the Judy] are here and armed, Mr Cox.
    Cox: Are they indeed? Then I'm the queen of Sheba.
  • In F&SF fandom you may still hear "Oh yeah — and I'm the Kumquat Haagen-Dasz!" from people who have no idea where it came from. It's from National Lampoon's Doon.
  • Courtesy of Dorothy Parker:
    Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
    A medley of extemporanea,
    And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
    And I am Marie of Romania.
  • Penn & Teller's Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends includes a short story written by Penn.
    Aliens: We're from the intergalactic conference.
    General Wally Lonsberry: Yeah, and I'm Captain Kirk. What's the skinny, compadres?
  • A Practical Guide to Evil has this occur when Catharine is approaching an army encampment after an extended absence.
    Lieutenant: Come off it. You're way too short. If you're the bloody Black Queen than I'm Empress of Procer.
  • The children's book The Princess In The Pigpen, by Jane Resh Thomas, features a Time Travel story bringing an Elizabethan duke's nine-year-old daughter to a pig farm in modern-day Iowa. When she tells the farmer who she is, he replies, "And I'm the king of England." She is shocked at his gall and threatens to have him hanged for treason.
  • In Puckoon, Gulio Cesar's attempt to explain his identity to a border guard gets the response "And I'm Brutus!"
  • In The Puppet Masters the Old Man captures one of the titular parasites and orders an analysis be performed on it.
    Dr. Graves: If that is alive, I'm Queen Anne.
    Old Man: Maybe you are, but don't take chances. It's a parasite, capable of attaching itself to a host, such as a man, and controlling the host. It is almost certainly extraterrestrial in origin and metabolism.
  • In Rally Round the Flag, Boys!, after Guido di Maggio takes his fiancée to meet his family, his thoughts are said to run: "If these people have deep, buried destructive impulses toward Maggie, then I am Rex, the Wonder Horse."
  • Retired Witches Mysteries: Early in book 3, Molly suggests that Dorothy's evil father really has just come for a friendly visit. Elsie retorts with the trope name.
  • Older Than Feudalism, courtesy of Petronius' The Satyricon, when Ascyltus is laughing at Trimalchio's complete lack of book knowledge and horrific Latin puns, one of his (Trimalchio's) friends starts berating him. He bemoans that the world is too soft on men "these days" and notes he's wearing a gold ring (in those days only the Equestrian order got to wear gold):
    "You're a Roman knight, are you? Well, my father was a king."
  • Six of Crows: Nina, to express how ridiculous Kaz is being.
    Nina: Did you know I'm next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg.
    Matthias: There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town.
  • Skin of the Sea: As Simi, Kola, Bem, Yinka, and Ifedayo travel by boat to Esu's island, Simi hears a noise in the hold, which Ifedayo thinks is a rat. When they investigate, they see one of the sacks moving and shaking. Yinka says, "If that's a rat, I'm the queen of the Mali Empire." It turns out to be Issa, who stowed away on their boat so he could help them rescue the twins.
  • Craig Shaw Gardner's Slaves Of The Volcano God:
    Roger: But wait a minute! What are you guys talking about? We're Cavendishes!
    Ontario: Sure. And I'm the first robin of spring.
  • "The Story So Far", a Dorothy Parker pastiche by John Clarke, is a list of how wonderful various world hotspots are doing, concluding:
    Go rent a car,
    Go purchase a suit.
    Everything's ducky,
    And I'm King Canute.
  • In There's More Than One Way Home, Alex hears that the boys went off to look for marijuana plants. He grumbles, "They get all this from 'medical marijuana,' you know. It sends such a rotten message to kids. If pot isn't a gateway drug, I'm George Bush."
  • Tuf Voyaging by George R. R. Martin has two examples:
    • On Haviland Tuf's first visit to S'uthlam, his description of how he came into possession of his Cool Starship prompts this response from the Portmaster:
      She grinned. "And I'm the Empress of the Crab Nebula."
      Tuf's face remained expressionless. "I fear I have been connected to the wrong person then. I wished to speak to the Portmaster of S'uthlam."
    • On his second visit:
      "If you're Tuf, I'm Stephan Cobalt Northstar."
      "Stephan Cobalt Northstar has been dead for more than a millennium. Nevertheless, I am Haviland Tuf."
  • William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 ("Let me not to the marriage of true minds...") ends with this couplet:
    If this be error and upon me prov'd,
    I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Absolutely Fabulous: In "Fat", Saffron is dismayed at Edina's weight obsession.
    Saffron: She's not even fat.
    Bubble: And I'm Dolly Parton.
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. had during a Let's You and Him Fight in "The Frenemy of My Enemy":
    Deathlok: Whoever you are, you don't want to do this. I'm a friend of Skye's.
    Lincoln: Sure. And I'm the Hulk.
  • Andromeda: When Harper announces that he has figured out the key to teleportation, Beka responds with "And I'm the Vedran Empress."
  • Batwoman (2019). When Alice reveals to Jacob Kane that his daughter was Batwoman, he scoffs, "And I'm the Joker."
  • Bewitched: In "Sisters at Heart," Tabatha tells her friend Lisa that she and Samantha are witches, which Lisa later repeats to her own parents. Her mother, thinking it's a game, replies with a kind version of this trope: "That's right, honey, and you're our good little fairy!"
  • The Boys (2019). Superhero A-Train is hobbling on crutches through a store and finds himself being eyed by a security guard as just another suspicious looking black man. When he furiously introduces himself, the security guard's response is, "Yeah, and I'm Homelander" (another famous superhero). Then he sees some avid fans recording them on their mobiles and realises he is speaking to A-Train, who is not mollified by his apology because he knows the guard's only doing it because he's a famous superhero.
  • The Brittas Empire: Occurs in "Exposed" when Carole meets the stunt double doubling in for Colin:
    Brett: Hi, I'm Colin. Colin Weatherby.
    Carole: Yes, and I'm Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • One aspiring vampire smarms that when he kills Buffy, it'll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. "And I should know. I was there." Behind him, Spike's famous voice cuts in:
      Spike: You were there? Please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a Flower Person and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.
    • In his first scene, Willy the Snitch demurs that he's staying away from that whole vampire scene and "living right." ("What's My Line, Pt.1")
      Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.
    • Willow trying to masquerade as her vampire counterpart. Anya smells a rat. "If she's a vampire, then I'm the Creature from the Black Lagoon."
  • Cheers:
    • Subverted in an episode when then-Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill appeared As Himself. Norm, who was out of the room when O'Neill arrived, proceeds to make a fool of himself:
      Norm: You're out of work too, huh?
      Norm: Don't be ridiculous! That would make you Tip O'Neill, and me... [recognizing him] a horse's butt.
      O'Neill: You said it, not me.
    • Played straight in the finale when Woody tells Diane that he has just been elected to the Boston City Council:
      Diane: And I'm next in line for the throne of England.
      Woody: Cool, maybe we'll work together someday.
    • Cliff runs afoul of a mix of this, the Literal-Minded Woody, and the fact he's Cliff when Norm sarcastically suggests the Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staffs has stolen Rebecca's expensive earrings because he's a crossdresser.
      Cliff: Yeah, right. And I wear ladies underwear.
      Woody: Carla, you were right!
  • Doctor Who plays with it in "The Girl in the Fireplace". Despite being delivered in the tone of this trope, both characters are making true statements.
    Madame de Pompadour: This is my lover, the King of France.
    The Doctor: Yeah? Well, I'm the Lord of Time.
  • Downton Abbey:
    • Miss O'Brien delivers the snark:
      O'Brien: If she's got a boyfriend, I'm a giraffe.
    • In another episode, an aristocratic woman has invited one of the footmen to visit her bedroom at night.
      Jimmy: Maybe she only wants to talk.
      Thomas: Maybe I'm the missing tsarevich.
    • And, in a meta-example: Downton Abbey began its run when the Upstairs Downstairs reboot was in the final stages of preparation.
      Jean Marsh: [in real life] Maybe it's coincidence, and maybe I'm the Queen of Persia.
  • The Dukes of Hazzard: Bo and Luke dealing with an official whose identification somehow disappeared:
    Luke: Well, I'm Santa Claus and this here's Bugs Bunny.
  • Subverted in episode 8, "The Royal Quadrille", of the television series Edward the Seventh. Edward, then Prince of Wales, is visiting Denmark,note  and goes for a country walk with two other royal visitors, the Tsar of Russianote  and the King of Greece.note  The three attempt a shortcut home, get lost, and seek assistance from a peasant driving a cart. The peasant is understandably sceptical when they attempt to explain who they are.
  • Elseworlds (2018): Oliver Queen and Barry Allen have somehow switched lives. They tell their friends, but they don't believe them and Cisco sarcastically says, "And I'm Wild Dog." Sherloque Wells takes him literally to Cisco's annoyance.
  • Endeavour: In "Fugue", Morse sniffs a teapot he suspects has been poisoned and comments "If that's the stuff chimps drink, then I'm a Chinaman."
  • In Full House, when Michelle exclaims, "There's a car in the kitchen!" DJ sarcastically replies, "Right. And there's a bus in the bathroom." Turns out there really is a car in the kitchen. Stephanie accidentally backed up the car into the house.
  • In the first episode of Garth Marenghis Darkplace:
    Liz: I had a vision — I'm a psychic.
    Dagless: And I'm Bo Derek.
    Liz: No you're not.
    Dagless: You're right, I'm not. I guess I use sarcasm as a defense.
  • Get Smart. Max pulls a gun on the Chief when he starts wearing a Dodgy Toupee.
    Max: If that's the Chief then I'm Abraham Lincoln!
    Chief: Max!
    Max: Four score and seven years ago...
  • Gilligan's Island: In the episode "The Little Dictator", when the exiled Generalissimo introduces himself to Gilligan, Gilligan sarcastically responds "yeah, and I'm George Washington!" The dictator spends the rest of the episode calling him George.
  • From The Golden Girls:
  • In the Here Come the Brides episode "Candy and the Kid," Lottie takes issue with the new sheriff's methods. She says, "Taking all the men out of town and away for half the night is hardly law enforcement, and if it is, I'm Goldilocks."
  • In the Highlander episode "Little Tin God", Duncan MacLeod faces an inexperienced immortal who claims to be an angel. MacLeod snarks, "And I'm Father Christmas."
  • House of Cards (US) has this exchange in the pilot, when Rep. Russo is pulled over for drunk driving:
    Russo: Look, I'm a Congressman, so...
    Cop: I don't care if you're the King of China.
    Russo: China doesn't have a king.
  • In Last of the Summer Wine, two policemen pull over a circus performer who's been driving while drunk. When asked to identify himself, he tells them he's "Zero the Human Cannonball"; this is true, actually, but since he's obviously drunk they are naturally sceptical of him.
    PC Cooper: And I'm Puff the Magic Dragon.
  • Legends of Tomorrow: In the Season 3 episode "Necromancing the Stone", Constantine learns that he and Ava both slept with Sara, leading to this exchange:
    Constantine: Seems we share a taste for damaged women.
    Ava: Sara's not damaged!
    Constantine: And I'm the bloody Pope.
  • Life on Mars: Sam accidentally reminiscing about the day he made DCI (in the future) to the DCI, Gene Hunt.
    Gene: Was that the same day I became King of Egypt?
  • In the episode "The Great Wave" of The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, Galadriel's claim of Halbrand being a king in exile gets this exchange between queen Miriel and Elendil.
    Elendil: [smiling] Just a petty lord, actually.
    [Miriel glares daggers at Elendil, whose smile instantly fades.]
  • In Lost, Charlie twice reacts like this to Hurley's reveal that he's a millionaire back home. First, "I bare my soul, and all I get is bloody jokes!" and then "Oh, and the time you told you were worth 150 million dollars? I'm sorry, I must have confused it with the 900 trillion I am worth myself. And this baby's made of chocolate lollipops. So, if you'll excuse us, I'm going to flap my wings and fly off this Island!"
  • The Mary Tyler Moore Show: In one episode when Mary Richards and Lou Grant were visiting Washington DC on a news story, Lou claimed that he was playing poker with several prominent statesmen, including then-President Gerald Ford. When Betty Ford calls to ask if the President left his pipe behind, Mary is not convinced, thinking her impression stinks.
    Betty Ford: Hello, Mary, this is Betty Ford.
    Mary: Hello, Betty, this is Mary — Queen of Scots.
  • M*A*S*H: In the episode "Chief Surgeon Who?", when Frank is trying to press charges on Hawkeye for insubordnation (specifically, failure to salute a superior officer).
    Frank: I have got oak leaves on my shoulders.
    Henry: And I've got dimples on my butt!
  • Moon Knight (2022): After getting back to his apartment in the episode "The Goldfish Problem", Steven notices that his pet goldfish Gus, who originally only had one fin, suddenly has two now. After unsuccessfully trying to clear up the confusion with a pet store employee, Steven looks at the goldfish and says "If you're Gus, then I'm the queen of Sheba."
  • In an episode of Muppets Tonight guest starring Prince (then in his "Artist formerly known as" phase), the episode opened with this exchange between Prince and Bobo the Security Bear.
    Prince: I'm the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.
    Bobo: And I am the Bear Currently Known as Not Amused.
  • In the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "The Castle of Fu Manchu" we get this:
    Smith: [on the radio] This is Nayland Smith broadcasting from the castle of Fu Manchu...
    Servo: [as the guy at the other end of the radio] Oh, right, and this is Mickey Mouse broadcasting from Disneyland.
  • NUMB3RS has Megan quipping: "If this is a Muslim terrorist, I'm a Japanese schoolgirl!" (Hmmm, does Tempting Fate include fanfics?)
  • The Gag Dub sketch The Olden Days has a scene where a man (played in the Rush (1974) footage by Andrew McFarlane) is arrested on the mudfields without a miner's licence. He makes a rather bizarre claim that he's an Automatic Teller Machine (which weren't invented in the 1850s and don't look like humans), to which one of the troopers says that "He appears to be out of order!" while poking him in the chest, which makes beeping noises. The other trooper adds, "Next you'll be telling us you're one of The Flying Doctors!"
  • Queen for Seven Days: Chae-gyeong says she's the king's niece. (Well, nephew; she's pretending to be a boy at the time.) Lee Yeok retorts he's the king's brother. Played with, since both of them are telling the truth.
  • In "Heroes of Patience" from Resident Alien, D'Arcy Bloom reacts to Jay telling her that she's her friend Asta Twelvetrees's daughter by replying "Yeah. Sheriff Mike's my father." Then she realizes that Jay isn't joking.
  • Inverted in a Saturday Night Live "Church Chat" sketch in which the Church Lady is understandably skeptical of Jessica Hahn's self-serving justifications for how she's been behaving over the last year (specifically in 1987).
    Church Lady: Yes, I remember your picture on the tabloid saying, "I am not a whore."
    Jessica Hahn: I am not a whore!
    Church Lady: And I am not the Church Lady.
    Jessica Hahn: What?!
    Church Lady: Never mind, never mind. I'm just babbling.
  • Starsky & Hutch:
    • In "Photo Finish," a landlady catches the guys snooping in an apartment she owns. Hutch says, "We're the police." The landlady replies, "And I'm Tatum O'Neal."
    • In "Ninety Pounds of Trouble," an underage girl tries to order a drink from Huggy Bear.
      Joey: Give me a strawberry margarita, please.
      Huggy: We're fresh out of strawberries. Why don't you try the malt shop?
      Joey: I'm eighteen!
      Huggy: And I'm Reggie Jackson.
      Joey: No you're not, you're Huggy!
  • Star Trek:
  • In The Suite Life of Zack & Cody a mall security guard refuses to believe that one of the twins' friends actually is a prince and says "And I'm the Queen of Sheba". The prince, being incredibly naive, believes her and refers to her as "your highness" for the rest of the episode. She thinks he's being a funny boy smart aleck until she learned the truth. He even promotes her to his cabinet at the end.
  • Svengoolie: When Svengoolie got an email from Mark Hamill saying he's a fan, Sven's reaction was "Hi Mark, I'm Frasier."
  • On Three's Company, Roper is incredibly freaked out when he and Jack wake up in bed together after a wild night of partying, so Jack confesses to him that he's straight.
    Roper: If you're straight, then I'm the King of Siam!
    Jack: Mr. Roper...
    Roper: And you're the Queen!
  • Tyrant (2014): Emma and Jenna get their wallets stolen while at a café in "Gone Fishing" and the owner calls the cops on them, thinking they were trying to dine and dash. Emma tries to stop being arrested by telling them she is the president's niece.
    Emma: I'm telling you... I'm Emma Al-Fayeed.
    Owner: Uh, yes, and I am Jesus Christ.
    Jenna: No, you're not. He would've been more forgiving.

    Music 
  • Similarly themed to the above is Ronnie Dunn's "Ain't No Trucks in Texas":
    There ain't no trucks in Texas
    Ain't no football in the south
    Aint no bourbon in Kentucky
    And I ain't drinkin' me some now
    Ain't no stars in California
    Memphis never had the blues
    Oh, there ain't no trucks in Texas
    And I ain't missin' you
  • Lord Melody's calypso "Caroline" features a variation - Caroline's mother (who is no saint herself) accuses her daughter of thinking she is the Queen Of Sheba, due to her arrogance and promiscuity.
  • And Roger Miller's "Little Green Apples":
    And if that's not lovin' me
    Then all I've got to say
    God didn't make little green apples
    And it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime
    And there's no such thing as Doctor Seuss
    Or Disneyland, and Mother Goose, no nursery rhyme...
  • Variant in "Cowboys Don't Cry" by Daron Norwood:
    She said we'd never part, she never broke my heart
    And there ain't a cow in Texas
    And Wheaties ain't for breakfast
    Late at night she'll never cross my mind
    There ain't no rose of San Antone
    And I can make it on my own
    These can't be tears in my eyes
    'Cause cowboys don't cry
  • Phil Ochs wrote a song called "Another Age" in 1969, regarding Richard Nixon winning the Presidency, containing the line "If that was an election, I'm a Viet Cong."

    Radio 
  • In The Goon Show episode "The Missing Prime Minister", Major Bloodnok has trouble believing that Eccles is in the Police.
    Bloodnok: Oh, flourish me fabula! Who are you, you ... you ragged-looking Goon?
    Eccles: I'm ... I'm a policeman.
    Bloodnok: And I'm Marilyn Monroe.
    Eccles: [lust] Oohh!
    Bloodnok: Put me down at once! Oho.
    Eccles: Hey - you... you ain't Marilyn Monroe.
    Bloodnok: What a bitter disappointment for us both.
  • In the John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme Christmas Episode, when the page announces Good King Wensensclas has arrived at the peasant's hut, the peasant's response is "Yeah, and I'm the Pope."
  • On a 1937 episode of the Kraft Music Hall, Bing Crosby and Zazu Pitts played King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella in a sketch, with sidekick Bob Burns as Columbus. At one point Burns asked for the crown jewels so he could sell them and finance his expedition to the "Far East", prompting the following exchange.
    Crosby: Listen Chris, if you get more than three bucks for those clinkers I'm a journeyman plumber.
    Burns: Yea, a lively trade, your Majesty.
  • In an episode of The Men from the Ministry General Assistance Department is trying to clear room in Hyde Park for a statue of a deceased industrialist, and end up in a hassle with a crazy speaker which gets the attention of a park guard. When Lennox-Brown claims that they are working for the Department of the Environment, the guard responds by quipping that he's the archbishop of Manchester, which Lamb naturally assumes to be true.

    Theatre 
  • Finian's Rainbow has the lyric, "If this isn't love, I'm Carmen Miranda." The couplet this was part of was updated for the 1960 revival: "If this isn't love, there's no Glocca Morra / If this isn't love, I'm Zsa Zsa Gabor-a."
  • From the musical version of The Scarlet Pimpernel:
    Percy: Lud love me, such conjecturing could drive a man insane
    And I'm the one to set this gossip quite to rest
    The Pimpernel is me!
    Marguerite: Indeed, and I'm the Queen of Spain!
    Percy: She's disguised herself
    But now she has at last confessed
  • In Spamalot, when King Arthur first introduces himself as "King of the Britons", a castle guard answers, "And I'm the emperor of Norway, bugger off." In the original movie he just answered, "Pull the other one!"
  • In The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Cybel responds to a doubtful statement with "And I'm Queen Vicky herself."

    Video Games 
  • In ANNO: Mutationem, when the Flores household gets a surprise visit from "Santa" who came to deliver Sigrid a present, Holtz brings out a shotgun and demands the visitor says his actual identity.
    "Santa": I'm Santa, bringer of joy to children!
    Holtz: Bullcrap! If you're Santa, I'm Jesus.
  • Atlantis Odyssey:
    Robert: We brought a cow! A cow from Atlantis!
    Franco: Haha, sure! My boots are straight from El Dorado, then!
  • In Crying Suns, the player character is a clone of Ellys Idaho, an Imperial admiral who sacrificed his life to thwart enemies of the Empire decades ago. If he encounters another Imperial battleship and identifies himself as Admiral Ellys Idaho, they might believe him, or they might sarcastically claim to be Pope Zenon.
  • This little gem from early on in Diablo III:
    Male Villager: Did you see that stranger next to old Cain? I was listening to him talk. I'd bet he comes from Westmarch.
    Female Villager: Oh, really? So people from there usually travel by falling star? Use your head. If he's from Westmarch, I'm empress of Caldeum.
  • Dragon Age: Origins:
    • A templar named Carroll guards the docks and only way to the Mage's Tower. Showing him the treaties will elicit this response from him:
      Carroll: Yes. Oh, a Grey Warden seal. Aha! So you're claiming to be one of those! You know I have some documents, too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva.
      The Warden: Aren't queens female?
      Carroll: Don't question royalty!
    • Later, in Morrigan's Fade nightmare, she tells the false Flemeth, "You are as much my mother as my little finger right here is the Queen of Ferelden!"
    • Near the end of the game, when the party is busting into Arl Howe's torture dungeon, they may run into the arl of Denerim's son Vaughan. When he haughtily demands that the player let him out in the name of his title, they can respond "Right, and I'm the King/Queen of Antiva."
  • In Fallout 4, the player can stumble across a Preston Garvey-lookalike asking to be given caps, saying that it's for the Minutemen. Unimpressed, the player can say "Yeah, and I'm the General." But if the player is really aligned with the Minutemen and he tries to laugh it off, the player can respond with "No, I really AM the General". Cue Oh, Crap! as the lookalike tries to flee.
  • In Final Fantasy XIV's Stormblood expansion, when told the Warrior of Light must fight the primal Susano alone, Lyse suggests that perhaps some of the WoL's Adventurer friends just happen to be on a fishing trip half way around the world from home, and thus can come to their aid. Alisaie sarcastically replies "Right. And I speak fluent Hingan." The joke, of course, being that by now the player is well accustomed to trials being eight-player undertakings, so yes, they will in fact be calling in seven equally-powerful friends for help.
  • Fire Emblem:
    • In Fire Emblem: Awakening, Chrom informs one of the border guards of Regna Ferox that he is the prince of Ylisse. She sarcastically retorts that she's the queen of Valm.
    • Fire Emblem: Three Houses: In Claude and Ingrid's C support, when Claude claims to get up at sunrise every day to meditate, Ingrid responds, "Uh-huh, sure. And I've decided to quit my pursuit of knighthood."
  • In GUN, Colton has this to say regarding Reverend Reed: "If he's a man of the cloth, then I'm the king of Siam."
  • Littlewood: A relatively socially isolated miner has a piece of dialog in which he reacts to being told that he's currently speaking to the Hero who defeated the Evil Overlord (the Player Character) by claiming to be the King of the Gobbys.
  • Mega Man Powered Up has "Mega Man?" requesting that Oil Man join up with Dr. Wily, Oil Man's response is "Ha Ha. Real Funny. If you're Mega Man, then I'm Dr. Light!"
  • In Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, after Naked Snake (while using a fake identity) asked if the Peace Sentinel forces in Costa Rica were CODESA to Amanda, Amanda responded with "Yeah, and I'm Papa Noel"note  before saying that they are CIA mercenaries.
  • In Mortal Kombat 11, a pre-fight banter between Cassie Cage and Spawn has the latter clarify that he's King of Hell, the former responding she's "Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain".
  • From Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies:
    Phoenix Wright: (Hey, I'm pretty lucky myself, so if he's a great man, then I'm the king of all cosmos!)
  • Played with in Poptropica's Escape from Pelican Rock, when someone reacts in indigence to the player claiming not to be a super-infamous criminal. They mock them by claiming to be another criminal, as if you had claimed to be someone infamous!
    Player: I’m not the Booted Bandit!
    Fosbury: Sure, and I ain’t Flashy Florian Fosbury, either.
    Player: So...you are Flashy Fosbury?
  • In The Simpsons Hit & Run, this exchange is made between Bart and Krusty:
    Bart: Krusty, listen carefully, aliens are handing out free laser guns and cola that makes you go crazy. It'll be a massacre, the streets will be littered with lasered-off limbs and heads.
    Krusty: Yeah right, and I'm getting into the Country Western Hall of Fame. It just ain't gonna happen, kid.
  • Star Wars Legends has another BioWare example that acts as an inversion. In Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, your Player Character can tell several folks "And I'm Darth Revan." Most of them assume you're just invoking this trope and being sarcastic.

    Web Animation 
  • Homestar Runner: In the Strong Bad Email "Part-Time Job", Strong Bad runs late to his job, where his boss Bubs berates him for wasting time on his "e-mail show", prompting this exchange:
    Strong Bad: You'll see! I'm gonna be big one day. I'm gonna be a famous email checker!
    Bubs: And I'm gonna be two times two. Now put on your uniform and get to work!
    Strong Bad: You're gonna be what?'
  • The Stickworld: A Chrono magician who discovered The One's origins begs Lolph not to fight him. With the numerous times they've fought, Lolph reacts accordingly:
    Chrono magician: Don't fight him, Overseer! He's not evil! He's just an innocent child...
    Lolph: Right, and I'm Santa Claus...

    Webcomics 
  • Girl Genius:
    • When Gil tries to introduce himself to a crowd in Mechanicsburg as the son of Baron Wulfenbach, the crowd (who had just seen him in a rather humorous fight with Zeetha and had started to throw coins at him) immediately shout, "And that's (Krosp, a cat) the Baron's dog, is it? And she's (Zeetha) the Baron's daughter and those (Theopolis and Sleipnir) are your oafish minions, and you're the gol-dang Storm King!" Since Gil needs a crowd to witness him entering Castle Heterodyne in order to add legitimacy to Agatha's claim to be the new Heterodyne heir, he answers, "Ha! Ha! That's right! So follow me, folks! 'Cause the show's just starting!" For bonus points Phil Foglio later confirmed that Zeetha is indeed the Baron's daugther. Extra bonus points it's being hinted that Gil is a contender for the Storm Crown. Waiting for Krosp to start barking at this point.
    • A copy of Lucrezia's mind has been downloaded into Agatha's body:
      Lucrezia: Ow! Tarvek! Don't be a fool! Aid me! I am the Agatha girl!
      Tarvek: Yes, and I'm the Queen of Skral.note 
    • Jorgi the Jägermonster uses this towards an uppity airship captain.
      Captain: Nonsense! We are a communications
      Jorgi: Pft. Und hy am de princess Hasenpfeffer ov Spätzle!
    • And again, when a chef in Queen Albia's kitchens tries to remove Krosp, assuming he's a pet, or a lab animal, or a circus animal. Eventually Rakethorn intervenes:
      Rakethorn: Sorry for the trouble, but I am Commander Hadrian Rakethorn, and this is Krosp the First, the Emperor of All Cats.
      Chef: Emperor? And you are saying he is the Commander Rakethorn?
      Krosp: Yeah, what do you think of that, pal?
      Chef: I think "And I am Jack Tarr." I think the Commander Rakethorn needs no trained monkeys. No circus animals in the kitchen! Shoo!!
  • Schlock Mercenary: Kevyn uses the "monkey's uncle" line at one point, leading Tagon to note that his (Kevyn's) sister did work with several (sapient) gorillas, and there was always a possibility—
    Kevyn: —that any illegitimate children will be apes, not monkeys. I checked.
  • Unsounded: When discussing the military and industrial presence at Litrya Shrine warrior priest turned attack zombie Duane says:

    Web Original 
  • In Protectors of the Plot Continuum, two variants based on Tolkien's Legendarium crop up in Agent Suicide's missions, commenting on the Idiot Ball in the badfics.
    • From "'Twas Many and Many a Year Ago in a Nondescript Random Town by the Sea":
      Jack [Sparrow], being a savvy captain, didn't trust this woman one inch and told Bootstrap that a gal is all very well, but this "true love" stuff didn't happen in one hour, and certainly not with some lady who might well be a poxed-up tart for all they knew.
      Yeah. And the Balrog just tripped.
    • From "The OOCest Teacher We Could Hope For":
      Naturally Cheerilee, being an experienced teacher, drew on the education courses she had taken and her own prior experience with other classes to help her handle this.
      Yeah. And Ar-Pharazôn's fleet simply struck a reef.

    Web Videos 
  • The Action Button review of Cyberpunk 2077 has the host, Tim Rogers, doing a small aside to this effect, when dicussing the graphical capabilities of the PlayStation 5.
    Tim: Let me also take a second to note how shriekingly ridiculous it is that the PlayStation 5's box has a little "8K" logo on it. Come on, man! If that thing can do 8K, I'm a brain surgeon.
  • The Nostalgia Critic plays with this in his review of Jack Frost.
    Critic: I don't know why, I just really have a hang-up that this band could be successful. I mean, they really think this would span out through a large audience? Yeah right, and I'm in this month's issue of Entrepreneur!
    [he opens said magazine toward the camera, and then does a Double Take as he realizes there's indeed a picture of Doug Walker on the page]
    Critic: ...Well, they'll print anything these days.
  • Done in unique Aussie style in Star Wars Downunder.
    Merve: G'day. Merve Bushwacker. I'm a Jedi.
    Burko: Get your hand off it, mate!

    Western Animation 
  • Used in 101 Dalmatians: The Series when Spot the chicken becomes a dog:
    Spot: Hey, guys, guess what? I'm a dog!
    Rolly: Yeah, so?
    Spot: No, you guys, it's me, Spot!
    Lucky: Yeah, right. And I'm Thunderbolt.
  • Aaahh!!! Real Monsters: In the episode "The Great Escape", where Ickis is mistaken for the escaped criminal Shorty McGinty and arrested, this exchange occurs while he is being interrogated:
    Ickis: Look guys, you made a mistake. I'm not Shorty, I don't know any Shorty. [laughing nervously] My name is Ickis.
    Prison Guard: Right, and I'm Abraham Lincoln.
  • Aladdin: The Series: In "Do the Rat Thing", Jasmine steals a mirror in an attempt to show that she could make it as a "street rat" like Al. Iago mocks her by saying "If you're a street rat, then I'm a frilled lizard." Unfortunately, the mirror is magic, and turns both of them into a rat and a frilled lizard, respectively. Iago is later shown kicking himself for not saying something like "If you're a street rat, then I'm the world's richest parrot!" instead.
  • In the first episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, introducing Appa:
    Aang: This is Appa, my flying bison.
    Sokka: Right. And this is Katara, my flying sister.
  • In the Batman: The Animated Series episode "The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne", Hugo Strange attempts to auction off Batman's Secret Identity to some of his rogues. When the deal goes south, Strange begs for his life with it (and Harvey unintentionally defends Bruce):
    Dr. Strange: I was set up! Bruce Wayne is Batman!
    Two-Face: That's absurd! I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the king of England.
  • Batman: The Brave and the Bold: In "The Criss Cross Conspiracy!", when Batman and Batwoman swap bodies, Batman tries to convince Nightwing and Batgirl of his identity. Nightwing says sacastically, "And I'm the Joker."
  • A sing-along host segment of The Beatles (1965) has John asking Ringo to dress the room for a "wild" number. Ringo whips out a jungle diorama which John dismisses as preposterous. But when Ringo's errant rifle shot causes an actual elephant to stampede by:
    John: Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!
    Ringo: See? It's even got you believing it!
  • In the Biker Mice from Mars episode "Last Stand at the Last Chance", Throttle tricks a dazed Cat Scan into attacking Greasepit by claiming that his friend stole his little buddy. When Greasepit tries to deny Throttle's accusation, Cat Scan retorts "Yeah right, and I'm the bluebird of happiness".
  • The Boondocks: The "Return of the King" episode featured an Alternate History where Martin Luther King Jr. was not killed, but rather put into a 30 year coma. He tries to get into a party (which was really supposed to be a political planning meeting, but got way out of hand due to him mistakenly hiring an urban public relations firm).
    Bouncer: I tell you right now, you ain't getting in with them shoes.
    King: Excuse me sir, I am Martin Luther King.
    Bouncer: And I'm Malcolm X, nigga. You still ain't getting in with them shoes.
  • The Bullwinkle Show: In a Bullwinkle & Rocky Fan Club sketch, Bullwinkle prepares to discuss elections and declares himself a political expert.
    Boris: Hoo boy, if that's political expert, I'm Little Miss Muffet.
  • Bump in the Night: Such a statement is given by one of the Cute Dolls in the Christmas Episode "'Twas the Night Before Bumpy".
    Cute Doll: If you're pageant director, I'm Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
  • The Buzz Lightyear of Star Command episode "Stress Test" has a supposedly on-edge-from-lack-of-downtime Buzz Lightyear express his glee at thwarting Zurg's latest plan by finding a pen. When Mira tells Buzz that it is just a pen, Buzz answers "And I'm a fluffy bunny."
  • Captain Planet and the Planeteers:
    • In the episode "The Predator", a coastal town where Gi and Ma-Ti are vacationing freaks out about sharks and hires Argos Bleak to exterminate them. Having failed to find anything as big as the townsfolk claimed, Bleak mutters that maybe there isn't a killer shark in the area. Ma-Ti hopefully suggests that maybe he'll call it quits, and Gi sarcastically retorts that perhaps nuclear waste will turn out to be healthful.
    • In the episode "The Unbearable Blightness of Being", Gaia ends up switching minds with Dr. Blight. When she tries to explain what has happened to the Planeteers, Wheeler retorts, "Yeah, and I'm Captain Pollution".
  • CatDog: In one episode, Cat tries to follow his favorite actress into a restaurant to prove that he's her soulmate, only to be stopped by the restaurant's bouncer.
    Cat: I'm Telula's soulmate!
    Bouncer: Yeah, and I'm the King of Switzerland.
    Dog: Love those meatballs, Your Majesty!
  • In the Codename: Kids Next Door episode "Operation: W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E.", Numbuh One wakes up in a reality where he's an adult, President of the United States, and is expected to sign a bill ensuring the destruction of the Kids Next Door. When he tries to explain to the current roster of the Kids Next Door that he really is Numbuh One, one of the operatives retorts "Yeah, and I'm Queen of the Rainbow Monkeys."
  • The C.O.P.S. episode "The Case of the Midas Touch" has Berserko make such a remark in regards to Big Boss' valet Squeeky Kleen.
    Berserko: If he's an innocent bystander, then I'm the tooth fairy!
  • Courage the Cowardly Dog:
    • Constantly used by Courage in early seasons, with Lampshade Hanging.
      Courage: There's something wrong here, or my name's Archibald! And it's not.
    • The episode "House of Discontent" has Eustace reply to the Spirit of the Harvest Moon introducing himself by retorting "And I'm a bucket of sardines."
  • Danger Mouse: DM and Penfold search for Mac the Fork's getaway vehicle (a rocket-powered golf bag) in "All Fall Down". When they find it:
    DM: Eureka! If that isn't Mac the Fork's transport, I'm a Dutchman!
  • DC Super Hero Girls (2019): "#AllAboutZee" has Casey Krinsky, having found out the Super Hero Girls' secret identities, insist that Diana Prince is Wonder Woman and that Kara Danvers is Supergirl. A fellow student of Metropolis High retorts "Yeah, and I'm Bumblebee!"
  • DuckTales (1987): In the fourth part of the five-part episode "Time is Money", Scrooge McDuck ends up in jail because of the Beagle Boys convincing all the banks in Duckburg that Scrooge is an imposter. When Scrooge protests that he's the real Scrooge McDuck, a prison guard retorts "Sure, and I'm Frankie Onassis."
  • Dungeons & Dragons: The Dungeon Master appears at the end of an episode where the heroes have been deceived by two impersonators, which led Eric to accuse him of being another impersonator. Eric's response to the Dungeon Master claiming to be the real one is to claim he's a blue baboon — and he ends up being turned into a real one by the DM's amulet. (Butt-Monkey, anyone?)
  • Ed, Edd n Eddy:
    • In the episode "The Day the Ed Stood Still":
      Johnny: Come on, everybody, Plank says he heard something over here.
      Kevin: Yeah, right, and I'm the king of Siam.
      Rolf: And Rolf is the head of cabbage!
    • Also from "Sorry Wrong Ed":
      Eddy: [answering the phone] It's probably Nazz.
      Edd: And I'm Theodor Geisel.
    • And from "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle" (the Christmas Special):
      Ed: Eddy! Santa's coming to my house!
      Eddy: Yeah right. And I'm a little leprechaun looking for his pot of gold!
  • Filmation's Ghostbusters:
    • The show often uses the "monkey's uncle" variant, usually followed by an irritated grunt from Tracy.
    • In the episode "Pretend Friends", Ansabone retorts "And I'm the King of Transylvania!" in response to receiving a call from the President of the United States.
  • The Galaxy High episode "The Brain Blaster" has the drug dealer who got Doyle hooked to the titular brain-enhancing drug end up arrested. He insists that he's innocent, but the cop arresting him retorts "Sure, and I'm Little Bo Peepazoid."
  • Garfield and Friends:
    • Garfield makes such a statement in the episode "Speed Trap" in regards to P. Dempsey Weevil, who impersonates a police officer to get Jon in trouble for not seeing a tiny road sign.
      Garfield: If he's a real cop, then I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
    • From "The Horror Hostess":
      Garfield: If there's a dragon, then I'm Bugs Bunny.
      [a dragon appears behind him and Odie and roars]
      Garfield: Ehh, what's up, doc?
  • The Garfield Show: The episode "Freaky Monday" has an alien switch Garfield and Odie's minds. Garfield in Odie's body later tries to explain his plight to Arlene, who remarks "If you're Garfield, then I'm the Queen of England."
  • On Gargoyles, when King Arthur told Griff who he was, Griff responded with, "And I'm the Queen Mum!"
  • In the DiC Entertainment G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero episode "El Dorado: The Lost City of Gold", Grunt encounters the ghost of a man claiming to be the older cousin of Francisco Pizarro. Grunt retorts that he is Ulysses S. Grant.
  • Hazbin Hotel: Sir Pentious responds to one of his minions telling him that Carmilla killed an Exorcist with "and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow". Not that he can't be blamed for not believing Frank, since his Egg Boiz "say insane shit all the time".
  • The Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi episode "Tooth Decay" had a boy snark that he was the Easter Bunny in response to Ami claiming that she and Yumi were the tooth fairy.
  • House of Mouse: Parodied in the episode "Donald and the Aracuan Bird", Mickey replies to Donald insisting that the Aracuan Bird tricked him into getting locked in a cage with "Right! And I'm Mickey Mouse!" (Beat) "Hey, wait! I am Mickey Mouse!"
  • In the Jem episode "Kimber's Rebellion", Ashley tries to sneak into a club claiming to be a friend of the Misfits. The bouncer takes one look at her and scoffs, "Yeah, and I'm Duran Duran."
  • Johnny Bravo:
    • The episode "Little Talky Tabitha" had Johnny try to warn Suzy about her doll being alive. She then sarcastically said she was Tina Turner.
    • In "A Fool for Sister Sara", Johnny tries to collect donations. When one man claims that he already gave at the office, Johnny retorts that he's a Dallas cowgirl.
  • In the Justice League Unlimited episode "The Great Brain Robbery", the Flash and Lex Luthor switch minds after a botched mind-scanning attempt on both the Leaguers' and the Legion of Doom's sides. When Flash, in Lex Luthor's body, goes to see Grodd, he quickly sees through it:
    Flash-in-Luthor's-body: Me? The Flash? You've like, totally lost it, Grodd! I'm Lex Luthor!
    Grodd: And I'm Charlton Heston.
  • Laff-A-Lympics: In the second half of the episode "The Grand Canyon and Ireland", Mildew Wolf snarked that if the leprechaun he was talking to was a real leprechaun, then he's a butterfly. Predictably, the leprechaun responds by turning Mildew into a butterfly.
  • The Life and Times of Juniper Lee: In one episode, the con-artist mummy sees through Ray-Ray's attempt to pass off as a zombie worker.
    Skeeter: If you're a zombie, then I'm a prom queen.
  • Looney Tunes:
    • Played with in the short Duck! Rabbit! Duck!, Bugs Bunny has tricked Elmer Fudd into thinking he shot him by dressing up as an angel, after which Daffy replies with this:
      Daffy: Are you nuts? Why, if he's dead, then I'M a mongoose.
      [Bugs then holds up a "MONGOOSE SEASON" sign, and then Elmer shoots Daffy]
    • We have this little gem from Forward March Hare:
      Bugs Bunny: Private Bugs Bunny reporting, your majesty, sir.
      Sergeant: Oh, Private Bugs Bunny, eh? Well, I'm Sergeant Porky Pig.
      Colonel: Sergeant! And I am Colonel Puddy Tat. General Tweety Pie was asking about you, Sergeant.
    • There's this in Punch Trunk, in which a man sees a tiny elephant in his birdbath and calls the police. Instead, however, he is arrested and put in a straitjacket when they arrive.
      Man: But I did! I did see an elephant in my birdbath!
      Asylum Worker: Sure, sure, I know. I keep a giraffe in mine.
    • 1946's Roughly Squeaking has Hubie and Bertie making a hungry cat think he's a lion and the bulldog outside is various animals on a lion's diet. A bird watching all this transpire is slowly having a nervous breakdown. At the end, the dog is told he's a pelican.
      Bulldog: (to cat) Now look...if I was a pelican, I'd have a fish in my mouth. Well, do I have a fish in my mouth??!
      (Bulldog opens his mouth and sure enough, a fish is in there. The bird is now off his nut)
      Bulldog: Holy smokes! I am a pelican!!
      (The bird, now stripped of feathers and placed on a platter with dinner trimmings, confronts both dog and cat)
      Bird: Yeah, and I'm a Thanksgiving turkey! Gobble gobble gobble...(flies off)
  • Lost in Oz: In "Dorothy Meets the Lion", when Reigh refers to Toto as a "great sorcerer".
    West: If that dog's a great sorcerer, then I'm Glinda the Good.
    Reigh: Sorry, not possible. Shapeshifting's not Glinda's M.O.
  • Used in the weather episode of The Magic School Bus. If Ralphie's Weatherman, then Keesha's the Queen of England. Ralphie takes it completely in stride:
    Ralphie: [bowing to Keesha] Your majesty...
  • In the 1988 Disney special Mickey's 60th Birthday has Mickey being cursed so that nobody would recognize him. He finds out that it works when he tries to talk to the stage manager about it.
    Mickey: It's me, Mickey. Mickey Mouse?
    Stage Manager: Sure, you're Mickey Mouse and I'm Snow White.
  • Zig-zagged: the finale to Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse reboot, "Mighty's Tone Poem", featured a clip from season 1 and edited frames from that clip. It was from "Night of the Bat-Bat" where Bat-Bat confronts the Cow:
    Cow: Well! If it isn't the famous Bat-Bat!
    Bat-Bat: Yes, and if it isn't the famous Cow!
    Cow: I see you brought the famous Bug Wonder with you.
    Bat-Bat: Yes, and I see you brought the famous Merv Griffin! [cut to a cartoon Merv Griffin at a desk waving]
  • Miraculous Ladybug:
    • In the episode "Lady Wifi", this is Nino's reaction to Alya's theory that the titular heroine's secret identity is Chloe. In the French version, he says Papillon (a.k.a.: Hawk Moth), while in the English dub he uses The Wizard of Oz.
    • In "Ephemeral", Cat Noir admits to being Adrien Agreste. Ladybug just laughs, says the two are nothing alike, and sarcastically says she's Audrey Bourgeois.
  • My Little Pony Tales: In the episode "Who's Responsible", there's an exchange when the ice cream delivery pony catches Bon Bon and Clover in the back of the truck:
    Delivery pony: Just can't get enough of that pistachio, huh, Bon Bon?
    Bon Bon: What? I'll have you know I'm on a mission!
    Delivery pony: Yeah, right, and I'm the Christmas pony.
  • The New Adventures of Batman: In the episode "The Pest", Robin tries to warn the Joker that the water-powered car he stole will explode after coming into contact with salt. The Joker sarcastically retorts that he's Santa Claus.
  • The New Scooby-Doo Movies featured an example in the episode "The Spirit Spooked Sports Show", when Jay Teller makes a retort to Tim Conway claiming that his job as a coach is a cover for preparing for the role of Knute Rockne in a biopic.
    Jay Teller: If you're Knute Rockne, then I'm the king of Siam.
  • Ninjago: When the ninja see an old foe on TV, Jay declares, "If that's Lord Garmadon, I'm the Lord of the Jig." After it turns out Jay's wrong, Cole refers to him as Lord of the Jig.
  • Pac-Man: After Pac-Man is falsely arrested for bank robbery in "Public Pac-Enemy No. 1" (paraphrasing):
    Pac-Man: I'm not Pretty-Boy Pac! I'm Pac-Man!
    Police Officer: Sure, and I'm Thomas Jefferpac.
    Pac-Man: No, you're not!
  • In one Pinky and the Brain comic story, a security guard responds to Brain telling him that he and Pinky are lab mice trying to take over the world with "Yeah, and I'm Bugs Bunny".
  • Rayman: The Animated Series: In "High Anxiety", when the asylum staff mistake Grub for one of the patients, Grub tells them he's a police officer, to which the staff member retorts "And I'm the fire chief"!
  • The Real Ghostbusters: The Ghostbusters traveled to Scotland once when Ray inherited the title of Duke of Dunkirk. When he attempted to rally some of the locals to help fight an army of Highlander ghosts, Ray introduced himself as the Duke of Dunkirk. One local answered, "Sure, and I'm Dick Whittington's Cat!" It didn't keep the local from helping when Ray offered money.
  • Rugrats:
    • In one episode, Stu gets this line from police after he's caught trying to break back into Drew's house after getting locked out by the former during a costume party.
      Cop: Sure you are, and you're the Queen of England.
      Stu: No, Tarzan, King of the Jungle.
    • In the episode "Home Movies", when Angelica sees Tommy as a weird version of Superman in Chuckie's home movie:
      Angelica: If he's Tommy, then I'm the Queen of English!
  • In the Rupert episode "Rupert and the Crocodiles", Rupert's friend Podgy Pig replies to a snake claiming to be the Serpent King by scoffing "Yeah, and I'm the Prince of Nutwood".
  • The Simpsons:
  • The Smurfs (1981):
    • In episode "Romeo and Smurfette", when Papa Smurf has switched bodies with Gargamel (long story), and the Smurfs have caught not-Gargamel, he reveals that he's really Papa Smurf. Cue one Smurf: "Yes, and I'm Smurfette." This scene comes from the comic book story Smurf Versus Smurf.
    • In "The Magic Egg", Papa Smurf sees the three Smurfs who have turned themselves in Papa Smurf and says, "If you're me, then I'm a monkey's uncle", while inadvertently hitting the magic egg — and becomes a monkey!
  • Sofia the First: When Sofia, turned into a cat, tells Clover who she is, he says he's King Roland.
  • South Park: In "Where My Country Gone", Mr. Garrison interrupts a historical Canadian play, saying, "Yeah, and I'm Dan Rather, and I got news for you: nobody wants you here!"
  • In the Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode "Pixtopia", the heroes are forced to pay off their debts by working in the mines. Marco tries to reason with the slaver by pointing out Star is the Princess of Mewni (which is true) and Ferguson adds that he's King Fergon (which he just made up). The slaver sarcastically says he's the Duchess of Daisyland. Ferguson takes it literally.
  • From the Static Shock/Batman Beyond crossover, "Future Shock", when Static meets the future Batman:
    Static: Batman's not going to be happy about how you're treating his guests.
    Terry: First off, we don't have guests here. Second off, I'm Batman.
    Static: Yeah, and I'm Beyoncé.
    Bruce: [later walks in] What's going on here?
    Terry: He says his name is Beyoncé.
  • Steven Universe: In "Bubbled", Eyeball doesn't believe Steven when he says he's Rose, responding, "Right, and I have two eyeballs. Which I don't."
  • Superman:
  • From the Sushi Pack episode "Sweet Tooth" during an airing of his show, Sugar Jimmy disputes claims that his snack bars lack nutritional value:
    Sugar Jimmy: Most snack foods are manufactured by smoke-belching factories, but Sugar Jimmy Golden Gobble Blobble Bars are handmade by magical leprechauns as they dance on a beautiful rainbow.
    Maguro: Oh, yes. And chocolate is made by tiny gnomes inside of hollow rocks.
    Tako: Gee, I didn't know that.
  • TaleSpin:
    • In "Bygones", when Baloo rescues a man who claims to be Rick Sky, a pilot who went missing 20 years ago during the Great War.
      Baloo: Oh yeah, right! And I'm Amelia Bearhart, leader of the loonies!
    • In one episode, villainess Crazy Eddie, sarcastically tell Genius Ditz Wildcat that she's "The Queen of Sheba". It goes right over his head, and he spends the rest of the episode addressing her as such.
    • In another episode, Baloo is believed to be a legendary figure called "The Great Llama", and is tasked with finding and destroying an ancient and powerful idol. Upon journeying to the cave where it is supposedly hidden, Baloo comments that if there was an idol inside, he was a groundhog.
      Kit: (Seeing the Idol of Doom) Baloo, you better start looking for your shadow.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987): "Case of the Hot Kimono" sees Don Turtelli using this term in response to April and her mystery writer aunt ("Ninja nutcakes and the Queen of Sheba!").
  • Tom and Jerry: In the short "Old Rockin' Chair Tom", Mammy Two-Shoes does this to "Thomas" (as she often calls him):
    Mammy Two-Shoes: If you is a mouse catcher, then I is Lana Turner, which I ain't!/If you're a mouse catcher, I'm Lana Turner, which I'm not!
  • Total Drama:
    • In "Mutiny on the Soundstage," Chef Hatchet announces that this is his last day working for the show because he accepted a job as a chef on a cruise ship; a disbelieving Chris snarks in response that he just got a job hosting the Oscars.
    • Chef enters an alliance with Blaineley in "Chinese Fake-Out" and as part of their deal he pulls her rickshaw during the race over the Great Wall of China. The deceptively-heavy Blaineley claims to be a size zero, but after the exercise, Chef knows that she's as likely to be a size zero as he is to be the Emperor of China.
    • With Scott's looming threat of exposing Mike's MPD in "Grand Chef Auto", Mike wonders if it's not better if he comes clean himself. His main concern is what Zoey thinks of him, but he reasons that she'd be chill about his condition. The stress of it all makes Chester come out, who retorts that if Zoey will be chill about it, he will be crowned Miss Canada. To emphasize his point, he throws toilet paper over his shoulder to mimic a sash and starts singing horribly.
  • On The Venture Brothers season 4 finale ("Operation P.R.O.M."). Doe and Cardholder respond with sarcasm when Hunter Gathers refers to himself as a colonel, since he and the S.P.H.I.N.X. team had been disavowed from OSI.
    Cardholder: Oh yeah? Well in that case, I'm President Cardholder, and this is my associate, Emperor Doe.
    Doe: God-Emperor Doe!
  • In Voltron: Legendary Defender, when Shiro asserts he was fighting Zarkon, the rebel fighter responds "and I'm the Phloban of Gargalax".
  • In the Wacky Races debut episode "See Saw to Arkansas", the Ant Hill Mob is disguised as the Seven Dwarfs while hiding out from the police. When Dick Dastardly stops to asks where the highway is:
    Clyde: [rather insincerely] We're seven little dwarfs.
    Dastardly: Yeah? Well, I'm Snow White!
  • The Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa episode "No Way to Treat a Lady" had Cowlarado Kid try to infiltrate Barbwire Babs' gang by pretending to be a woman. The antelope member remarks "If that's a heifer, then I'm a billy goat".
  • In the two-part X-Men: The Animated Series episode "Days of Future Past", Gambit quips "And I'm the Queen of France" in response to being told that Bishop is a time-traveler.
  • In Young Justice (2010). When M'gann (using her telepathy) identifies Billy Batson as Captain Marvel, Kid Flash retorts: "Yeah and I'm Speedy Gonzales."

    Real Life 
  • In 1989, after the wife of the Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe won £600,000 in libel damages from Private Eye, the Editor, Ian Hislop said "If that's justice, then I'm a banana!" In a much later interview, he explained he had a whole speech prepared about how ridiculous the ruling was on multiple levels, but he was too angry to say any of it, and this was the first thing that came into his head. (The damages were reduced to £60,000 on appeal.)
  • When Lilian Davies first met Prince Bertil of Sweden at a party, he apparently introduced himself as such. She responded with "And I'm the Queen of Sheba!" This didn't stop him from courting her, as they would have a 33-year-long and quiet relationship due to Sweden's line of succession laws. When the laws were changed, they finally married in 1976 and remained Happily Married until his death.
  • An urban legend states that Henry Ford once went on a camping trip with Thomas Edison, Harvey Firestone (who made Firestone tires) and John Burroughs (a bestselling nature writer), and they encountered a Model T Ford driven by a backwoods hick. Ford told the hick that he created the Model T, and introduced his friends: "This is Thomas Edison. He invented the light bulb. This is Harvey Firestone. He made the tires on your car. And this" — and then the hick, looking skeptical, pointed at Burroughs, whose long white beard hung to his chest, and said, "I suppose you're going to tell me this guy is Santa Claus." Sometimes Warren G. Harding is also included, with Ford introducing him as "The President of the United States".
  • Francis Ford Coppola rang up Bob Hoskins to offer him a part in The Cotton Club. His response was, "Yeah, and I'm Henry the fuckin' Eighth", before hanging up. Amazingly, he still got the role.
  • Prime Minister of Australia John Gorton made an unscheduled visit to Honeysuckle Creek, the Australian tracking station for the Apollo missions, hoping for a tour. When the security guard called the station to say the Prime Minister was there, the response was, "Yeah, and has he got the Queen with him?"
  • In 1920, President Paul Deschanel of France fell through the window of the train while travelling on the Orient Express. He stumbled up to the nearest signal box in his pyjamas and told the signalman that he needed help and that he was the President of France. The signalman reportedly replied "And I'm Napoleon Bonaparte."
  • When Winston Churchill MP (the grandson of the rather more famous Prime Minister) visited British troops in the desert after the 1990–91 Gulf War, having introduced himself to a soldier, the soldier replied "Yes, and I'm Rommel."note 
  • Adolf Hitler had a British-American half-nephew who was drafted into the United States Navy. When he gave his name as “Hitler,” the induction officer replied, “Glad to see you, Hitler. My name’s Hess.”note  Like many sharing Hitler’s name, he changed it after the war.
  • During his speech accepting the nomination for Vice-President at the 1992 Republican National Convention; incumbent Vice-President Dan Quayle included a jab at how the Democratic ticket of Bill Clinton and Al Gore were being portrayed as moderates by the media before adding "If they're moderates, then I'm a world champion speller" (the latter a case of Self-Deprecating Humor following the infamous gaffe where Quayle convinced William Figueroa to add an "e" to the singular form of "potato").

This website is actually 4chan? Suuuuure, and I'm the Queen of Sheba.

 
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"Right, and I'm Mickey Mouse!"

Parodied; after the Aracuan Bird tricks Donald into being locked in a cage, he explains the situation to Mickey, who disregards his claims and jokingly says that he's Mickey Mouse, to which he corrects himself just a second later.

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