Oh my God! I am like — so totally glad to see you!
Except you. Put some pants on, already! Gross!
Like, anyway, I'm what some of you, like, call a "Stalk Parody Character", and yes, there are some totally creepy guys who—
Oh, "Stock Parody Character"! I am SOOOOOO completely embarrassed! I gotta watch out for homophobes. Wait, that's, like, something else.
So if you want to, like, put someone like me in a story, you need these four totally important traits. Leave one out, and you just have some cheap knockoff of me, and that would just be, like, so tacky. Oh my God.
The way I talk is, like, way important. Aside from my fabulous clothes, it's the easiest way to tell it's my hot self. You can do, like, degrees of it, but if I don't hear a hint of it, you're not truly from The Valley. Go, like, screw yourself, impostor!
I am sofashion conscious, everybody. See what I'm wearing? Does any of it, like, clash? I don't think so! Unlike those skanky bitches on Sex and the City, I don't throw on just anything I feel like. A dress isn't like a car. You can't just, like, turn the key and drive off. It's like the space shuttle, or something. Everything has to be, you know, totally perfect before takeoff.
...right? Yeah, 4. Being rich, is like, totally awesome, but you just need a good credit card. And if there isn't a mall to hang out, there should be some good stores around to shop in. If there isn't either, you totally have my sympathies. Heck, give my friends and me a call. We'll help you move. I am so dead serious. Towns like that are for, like, no one.
Okay, even though I'm best known for being from California, I can be, like, global, or something. The Valley isn't like, just in the Valley. Oh my God, was that like, totally deep or something?
Oh, and I totally know that I'm, like, not a real person in real life, or anything. I'm some kind of stereotype, you know, like parroting teens in The Eighties and The Nineties, or some junk. Sometimes people like to use me as like, an example for like, how kids don't know how to, you know, speak well, or something? And I'm also, like, intertwined with the Dumb Blonde troop now, I mean trope. And I don't care what what Mitzy Connor said, this is NOT a dye job! Puhleez!
Anyway, compare Totally Radical, The Ditz, Surfer Dude (who's, like, totally hot, could you just die?), Brainless Beauty, Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense.
Also, totally not related to that Uncanny Valley Girl. She's, like, soooooo weird. For sure!
Some advertisements in the UK promoting imported American teen dramas will use Valley Girl-esque voiceovers. Can get very annoying when they're on every ad break.
"HellooOOOOooo it's your mom!"
Anime & Manga
The NA DiC dub of Sailor Moon used valley girl slang for the first two seasons. "I'm outie!" and "Whatevah!" were frequently uttered, to the chagrin of the viewers. Under Cloverway, the next two seasons switched to gangsta . . .
In the English dub of D.N.Angel, Mio Hio was given a Valley Girl accent as a substitute for the character's Gratuitous English dialogue in the Japanese.
Rather annoying, the Viz Media translation of Hot Gimmick turns Hatsumi (and every other female character) into a Valley Girl even though she is a quiet, unconfident and rather poor Japanese teenager (seeing middle-aged conservative Japanese housewives saying "oh my god, Asuza is, like, such a hottie" is very, very jarring).
To translate her idiosyncratic way of speaking, Tsuruya-san in the Haruhi Suzumiya dub is given this type of accent.
A couple of minor duelists in the English translation of Hayate X Blade use Valley Girl speak.
In Fairy Tail, Lucy at some point finds out that she just lost her father. After visiting his grave, she goes for a walk with Natsu and Happy. As fate would have it, two Valley Girls appear soon after and bitch about how they hate their stupid, bossy, smelling fathers - right in front of Lucy who is so sad that she is not even able to cry. Natsu does not take it well.
In the dub version of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, Princess Rose. (But not in the original, where she acted more like actual royalty.)
Elsa Bloodstone: I swear to God, nowhere on Earth do they talk like you, Tabby.
House of M featured a story involving the New X-Men as being part of a private academy. While many characters had similar personalities as their main universe selves, Sooraya Qadir is a radical departure as she goes from a modest, fundamentalist Muslim to a quintessential valley girl that rivals Tabitha "Boom Boom" Smith in vapidness.
Comet Queen from Legion of Super-Heroes is a 31st Century version of a valley girl, one that speaks her own brand of slang, much to annoyance of nearly everyone she's around because half the time they have no idea what she's talking about.
Romy of Romy And Michelles High School Reunion is a born-again member of this group, since she walks the walk, talks the talk, but isn't rich and is actually from Arizona. (Michelle does the same things, but doesn't sound so, like, totally Valley, dihoood).
The mermaids in Barbie Mariposa'' are obsessed with fashion and completely ignore Mariposa's attempts to ask them about the antidote. When Rayna and Rayla offer to bargain with them by giving them rare combs, they're much more interested.
Goss and Kylie in the Corinna Chapman series are Valley Girls, but they do actually help the protagonists occasionally.
In the Paladin of Shadows book A Deeper Blue, Katya takes up this sort of persona as a disguise.
George Alec Effinger plays with this in his stories about Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson. The stories are also very funny riffs on fantasy and SF stories.
Erin and Shaunee from The House of Night fall into this category, but Zoey and Aphrodite do have their moments.
In Beauty Queens Shanti Singh is one, but puts on an British inflected Indian accent, as she feels that this is how the judges want to see an Indian girl. She feels too Indian for the Americans, but too American for the Indians. This is why she disguises her true Valley Girl self.
A Mage's Power: Parodied by Mia when Tiza calls her a "smiling pink haired ditz". She affects the accent while threatening to give Tiza a mission that she knows Tiza will hate. Tiza immediately recants.
Parodied in "deleted scenes" from House where actresses Lisa Edelstein and Jennifer Morrisson perform some of their scenes together while speaking and acting like valley girls.
Cuddy: You just go and you, like, write something. And then, like, you end up in this really fancy office with like a huge desk and fancy shoes and, like, people will call you and they'll be like "Omg, we like totally wanna work with Eric Foreman", and you'll be like "I have so many totally mean things to say to you."
Cameron: I get, like, fancy shoes?
Cuddy: Yeah, that's the best part.
In the Pushing Daisies episode "Robbing Hood", Elise, the gold-digging wife of the Victim of the Week, talks like a Valley Girl. ("Oh, my God! You think I totally did it!")
Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Even though she has all the mannerisms down, she's actually from Bel-Air and in one episode describes hell as being "like, the Valley".
During one "Hollywood Director Game" on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Colin demanded that his "actors" portray the scene again as "clueless teenage girls" - Valley Girl was the first thing on their minds, except Wayne Brady went with a Sassy Black Girl portrayal instead. Watch it here.
In the episode "Boston Tea Party" from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Zach dreams he and all his friends were the ones that participated in the titular event. In this dream, the cast is talking about the skyrocketing taxes, only for Maddie to exclaim that she may not afford the down payment on her used horse. Then she gives us this tidbit:
Maddie: And I'm totally getting my license, like, this year!
Lampshaded by Esteban when Moseby gives a skeptical look
"The elevator's stuck! There's, like, totally a ghost in here!"
Ini Miney in the second Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney game. Except that it's an act adopted in imitation of the real Ini Miney. The one you meet is actually her sister.
City of Villains has Becky the Tarantula Mistress, who doesn't let being a hideously-mutated psychic trapped in a spider-like exoskeleton armour detract from her giddy enthusiasm upon meeting the player character.
Cipher Admin Lovrina from Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness shows most of the characteristics of a typical valley girl, but so not the lack of intelligence; she is so the Evil Genius, and, in fact, so singlehandedly developed a way to make Lugia impossible to purify (through standard methods, at least)!
Since the stories center around a high school in the Whateley Universe, it shouldn't be surprising that some of the girls from California sound like this. Scrambler may be the worst, since she is a speedster and tends to talk faster than she thinks.
Like, Bizarro Sister from like, Mall Fight, like, ya know?
Kelly from Liam Sullivan's Kelly series.
Averted by Flamegirl from TOME, whose player is from Burbank, which is like, totally in the Valley; but she doesn't act like a Val at all.
Ultra Fast Pony: Rainbow Dash is, like, totally weird. She has the talk down, but she's totally into sports, and instead of money she has a hilariously tragic backstory. (Series creator Wacarb has said he originally planned to make Dash an absolutely straight example of a Valley Girl, but he improvised all her lines so she quickly evolved into a distinct, but Valley-influenced, brand of idiocy.)
Welcome to Night Vale gives us Cecil, the community radio host, narrator and (for all intents and purposes) main character. Very little is given about his physical appearance and economic status, and he is presented as quite intelligent and philosophical. This trope only comes across in his speech, when he sometimes drops into a valley-girl cadence when reciting quotes from certain people or going on one of his "personal asides".
The Simpsons episode, "Summer of 4 ft. 2", has Lisa befriending a group of cool surfer kids on vacation. Besides dressing in hippy/surfer clothes, Lisa uses valley girl speech to disguise herself as one of them, instead of a shy nerd . . . like, you know, whatever.
In "Lard of the Dance", the new student, Alex Whitney shares this trope.
Shirley the Loon from Tiny Toon Adventures is like, a mondo primo example. If only she had more fashion sense instead of, like, being a hippie new age girl, or some junk. Cha.
It should, like, be noted that the voice actress who did Shirley's voice is one Gail Matthius, a cast member from the sixth season of Saturday Night Live (which nobody likes or remembers because it was around the time that Lorne Michaels and the remnants of the original cast left the show and a new producer and cast were hired in their places) who had a recurring character who was a Valley Girl named Vicki (duh!). She also used this character on a syndicated sketch show called Laugh Trax. The last anyone's heard of Gail Matthius was during the nineties when she did voicework in cartoons, often as a Valley Girl.
Babs also posed as one running the speech class of a fake charm school to outwit Dizzy Devil in one episode. Turns out the Valley Girl equivalent of the "Rain in Spain" verse is "The Walls in the Mall are tewtally tewtally tall." Fer sure.
Ditzy June (in KaBlam!'s first season) had a slight Valley Girl accent in the very early season one episodes, despite her being a huge tomboy.
There's an episode of Garfield and Friends where Garfield encounters a niece of Jon's who is explicitly referred to as a valley girl. Her accent is so bad Garfield even hires a professional linguist to add annotations explaining what she's saying to the audience. See the full episode here.
A rare male example, but Mr. Jinks fits this perfectly, "Like are you for sure, there."
As does Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Over forty years later.
The My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "Putting Your Hoof Down" like, featured a couple of mares like this. They even, like, had total '80s Hair. Shoeshine, Sweetie Drops/Bon Bon, and Cherry Berry also have the accent in this episode.
Ditto Flitter and Cloudchaser, the Pegasus twins from "Hurricane Fluttershy"; and Lightning Dust from "Wonderbolts Academy". "We totally wiped them out with that tornado".
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. "Waiting for your cutie mark is so last week...You're still totally invited to my cutceañera this weekend".
The Little Traitor Dudes For Children's Defense, from the Codename: Kids Next Door episode "Operation P.O.O.L.", who were the Mirror Universe counterparts to the Delightful Children From Down The Lane.
If you, like, actually think we don't exist in Real Life, you can, like, go to hell, or something. Oh, and, like, watch this video. You can totally see one of us about, like, a minute in.
The speech patters associated with valley girls, such as using "like" as an interjection or a substitute for "said", have started to become ubiquitous among the younger generations in the United States and Canada, but can even be observed among people from older generations as well.
Within Southern California itself, the rising pitch has effectively entered the local accent among young people — even the men are using it.
Kogals, the Japanese counterpart. There's also Ganguro, which is Valley Girl with heavy tans.
Within the US, there exist several analogues to the valley girl stereotype in other parts of the country.
The Jersey girl stereotype is pretty much a Joisey-accented version of the Essex girl (particularly the promiscuity), coupled with an attitude problem. Given the similarities in stereotypes between New Jersey and Essex in general (i.e. suburban sprawl for the nation's largest city, filled with chavs and emo teensnote New Jersey even has an Essex County, the third most populated in the state and home to its largest city), this is rather fitting.
Also common on the East Coast is the stereotype of the Jewish American Princess, which takes the vanity and narcissism of the valley girl and adds sexual prudishness and an ethnic dimension. This is a very controversial subject in Jewish communities, as it's seen as a modernization of the Greedy Jew stereotype, though of course, jokes about "JAPs" were popular material on the Borscht Belt.
The Mexican equivalent is the "Niña Fresa" (Strawberry Girl) or "Chica Nice" (Nice Chick/Girl).