Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds? Louis: I am shocked, shocked, to find gambling going on in this establishment! Emile: Your winnings, sir. Louis: [Sotto voce, to Emile] Thank you. Thank you very much. [Shouting, to casino patrons] Everybody out!
A type of gag not limited to but most prevalent with sitcoms and children's comedies. Basically it goes like this:
A) A character openly makes some kind of statement or declaration and then does the exact opposite. B) A character accused of engaging in a certain behavior or activity denies it before being immediately depicted engaging in the very behavior or activity they just denied. C) One character criticizes another character for some fault that is an established part of their own characterization, or just before or after exhibiting that particular fault themselves. D) A character makes fun of a group of people which he himself happens to be a part of.
Sounds hilarious already, doesn't it?
For example, an overweight girl deep in denial might say, "I don't see why you guys think I have an eating problem"... right before taking the first bite out of her fourth consecutive Big n' Tasty. Or a man might exclaim, "What are you talking about? I'm not greedy"... and then swipe clean every last cent in the Take-a-Penny-Leave-a-Penny tray.
It doesn't even have to necessarily be the character who does the opposite. Half the time it seems like the entire universe is instantaneously altered just so the polar opposite of the character's sentence occurs for a gag. If a character is lying to his or her parents and says that they didn't go to that concert last night, sure enough, the phone will instantly ring and the answer machine will broadcast a friend instructing them to call back, raving in great detail about how much fun they had at the concert, how glad they are that they snuck out and how there's no way their parents will ever find out.
Often evident (and occasionally Truth in Television) when one character prematurely accuses another character of engaging in Double Entendre or sexual innuendo, thereby indicating that their own thought processes are following the same "perverted" channels. It drives the point home if the accusing party speaks before the accused makes the connection or if they wouldn't have made it in the first place.
The delivery of hypocritical humor in reality-bending situations is usually executed via Contrived Coincidence.
Sometimes used as a Hypocrisy Nod, or a Hypocrisy Nod is used for laughs by mixing it with this.
Compare with Boomerang Bigot, Tempting Fate, I Resemble That Remark, I Would Say If I Could Say, Such A Phony, and Description Cut.
Some tropes, like Sorry Ociffer, Some of My Best Friends are X, and Complaining About Things You Haven't Paid For, inherently lend themselves to Hypocritical Humor.
Not to be confused with Hippocratic Humor, which would be what House, M*A*S*H, and Scrubs is all about. Also don't confuse with Hypocritical Heartwarming.
Please do not attempt to add examples of people doing this unintentionally (nearly all Real Life examples would fall under that). This trope refers to deliberate uses of hypocrisy for humor's sake, at least by the writer. The same goes for Wicks and Pot Holes, so if you catch any, feel free to destroy them without pity.
Examples:
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Advertising
Mr. Whipple in the Charmin commercials. He spends half a minute warning women not to squeeze the Charmin. Then later on, he is seen squeezing said Charmin himself.
Recent Kotex ads feature a woman talking sarcastically about how other tampon commercials are helpful, while proving them to be just the opposite.
Woman: And they use that blue liquid stuff so I'm like, 'Oh, that's what it's supposed to look like.'
You will notice, however, that this commercial doesn't show you what it's actually supposed to look like either, because Ew.
Anime/Manga
In Goldfish Warning episode 9, Wapiko protests the school dresscode of mandatory school uniform while wearing a school uniform. She's one of the few students who was already coming to school in uniform every day.
In Lotte no Omocha!, during Naoya and Lotte's date at the amusement park, Asuha and Elíka are tailing them. When Lotte suffers a Potty Failure, Elíka immediately takes off her panties to give to Lotte but Naoya gives her a spare pair he always carries around for Asuha. Hearing that Asuha often goes without underwear, Elíka chides her about the indecency...all while she's still holding her panties in her hand.
Much of the humor in The Tyrant Falls In Love comes from Souichi loudly proclaiming that he would love nothing more than to see all homosexuals drop dead and definitely isn't one of those homos himself...to Morinaga, his gay kohai who's openly smitten with him. The real hypocrisy in all this? Souichi has let Morinaga have sex with him multiple times, despite ample evidence that he could easily leave Morinaga a bloody heap on the ground before getting that far with him. The very fact that Souichi, a violent homophobe, hasn't killed, run away from, or even tried to straighten out Morinaga speaks volumes by itself, and that's before you consider his open declaration that he can tolerate sex only with Morinaga...
Early on in Sakigake Cromartie Koukou we are introduced to Mechazawa, who claims to have no experience with machines and computers and whatnot despite the fact that he's a freaking robot and is often mistaken for/turned into other appliances.
Y'know, being a robot doesn't necessarily come with the ability to use a computer. You're made out of flesh; does that make you an expert surgeon? (Or butcher?)
There's a scene where Light's sister, Sayu, catches him reading a dirty magazine (it's a long story...) and Sayu says, "Hey, isn't that a dirty book?" Then, she picks it up and begins reading it, while smiling.
Any scene like this:
Light (shaking fist): Damn, damn you Kira! You bastard!
In chapter 347, Konohamaru performs a variation of the Sexy Jutsu with two naked girls holding each other suggestively. Sakura punches Konohamaru for being a pervert and after Naruto tries to explain that it would serve as a distraction, she says "You're the only idiots who'd fall for a jutsu like that!". Konohamaru then decides to try the same jutsu again, but this time with shadow clones of Sai and Sasuke. Guess Sakura's reaction. Unfortunately, this was made instantly uncomfortable when the later part of this scenewasn't in the anime.
There is another incident soon after Sai joins Team 7. When he insults Naruto, Naruto picks up a fight with him. Sakura lectures Naruto about importance of teamwork and asks him to ignore Sai's comments. A moment later, Sai insults Sakura. Guess what follows.
This happens in the main series, too. During the Beach Episode, Yoko is complaining about wearing a bikini. Never mind the fact that Yoko wears more with the bikini than with her normal clothes (Bikini top and short shorts).
In an early episode, Buggy the Clown shows that his Devil Fruit power makes him a "Splitting Man". Luffy says that Buggy is a freak...and then an arrow points to him that says "Rubber Man".
Luffy does this quite often due to his naďveté/obtuseness - a more recent example is where Kidd and Law demonstrated their magnetic and space-warping powers respectively, while Luffy showed off Gear Third, and a post-Gear Third shrunken Luffy remarked that the other two have weird powers.
Also, when Garp reprimands Luffy for falling asleep during a lecture—right after falling asleep during his own lecture.
Zoro has done this several times with the running gag of commenting how his crewmates have gotten lost, when he himself has the worst sense of direction.
Absalom's devil fruit ability of invisibility is used to peep at and molest a bathing Nami. Sanji's fury at him burns even hotter, however, because Absalom possessing that ability means Sanji can't get that ability to do the same peeping which he had dreamed of since youth! The stupefied zombie priest presiding exclaims "You're one to talk!" at both of them several times as they accuse one another of perversity.
Genzo complaining the fact that Nami is in a two piece on her wanted poster, despite the fact he has an enlarged one covering the wall in his house.
While watching a news report on a rogue Anaconda, Hayate the Combat Butler's Nagi Sanzenin remarks, "I don't know why people keep such large and dangerous animals as pets"... while petting her large and dangerous pet tiger.
In G Gundam, George starts lecturing Chibodee about the irresponsibility of keeping a bottle of whisky in the cockpit of his Gundam, all the while George is holding a champagne bottle.
Chrono Crusade has a scene in which Father Remington makes a comment that members of the mob should "behave themselves"—while looking over his shoulder to flirt with some smitten teenage nuns. Sister Kate immediately calls him out on it by saying "You should, too!"
Inami of WORKING!!Does Not Like Men because she thinks they're violent and carry dangerous weapons— the same character, who later shows that she's the show's main source of violence comedy, says this while hiding behind Yachiyo, who's been carrying a katana since she was in grade school.
Cisqua from Elemental Gelade helps bring down a gladiator ring / betting parlor, and also helps free a large amount of enslaved Edel Raids, and gets a huge sum of money as a reward. She yells at Coud for throwing his last match, thus proving that she was exploiting Edel Raids for personal gain, a big no-no in Arc Aile. With the dispatcher right behind her. He confiscates the reward money.
In Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Mr. Bo-Jiggler (a fusion of Bo-BoBo and Jelly Jiggler) spends his entire fight talking about the importance of peace and how he hates fighting, all the while brutally beating up his enemies.
From Lucky Star, Kagami teases Konata and Tsukasa for doing something so cliche and childish as talking into a fan (to hear their voices distorted.) Of course, their dad, working nearby, informs everyone that Kagami is no exception.
In the dub of Digimon Adventure, Gatomon complains about one of her henchmen: "What's that big-eared freak trying to do?". This coming from the cat Digimon with the huge ears.
Keima in The World God Only Knows does this on occasion. For example, claiming during the Sumire arc that he doesn't care for indiscriminate enthusiasts while surrounded by a mountain of eroges, or during the Yui arc claiming it's troublesome if Yui stands out by not acting like him while buying more eroges when he's supposed to be acting like Yui.
Early in the manga of Sakura Taisen, Sumire comes across Iris and Sakura listening at General Yoneda's door as Ogami, who doesn't yet know about their special mission, yells at him about the need to take action. Sumire says, "Oh, you're eavesdropping. Please ... you two have some of the most distasteful little hobbies. It's quite shocking!" Then she puts her ear to the door and asks the other two, "Who is it?"
At the pool in Yotsuba&!, Fuuka pushes Jumbo in after he makes unflattering remarks about her. When he struggles, she points out to Koiwai that he can't swim. Koiwai replies that there's nothing wrong with it, so Fuuka pushes him in and learns he can't swim either. As she's laughing, Yotsuba pushes her in...
Koiwai: So. You can't swim, either.
Fuuka: Right. I'm sorry.
From episode 18 of Star Driver. When Takuto finds an old photo album, which contains a picture of Wakko and Keito playing idol, Keito calls Wakko childish for still wanting to be an idol. One Gilligan Cut later, we find Keito singing a peppy little J-pop song, alone, at a karaoke bar. And Takuto just happened to be delivering a drink to the room she's in
In the Cooking Duel of Mai-Hime, Nao mocks Natsuki for being stupid because she is unable to properly break an egg, and then fails to break one herself.
"Can't you guys be less noisy at other peoples' houses?"
Germany in the dub: "Stereotypes are for brainless dummkopfs." Considering that the entire show is built on mocking stereotypes ...
Ritsuko in the anime version of THE iDOLM@STER tell the girls to fight off the heat with their minds, while she is with both feet inside a bucket full of water.
Subverted in Durarara!!. It first seems laughably absurd that Shizuo Heiwajima, a man with the well-earned title of "Ikebukuro's God of Destruction", would claim to absolutely hate violence. However, it later becomes clear that Shizuo's own inclinations towards violence (which is implied to be the product of a rage disorder that he feels utterly helpless in managing) and the way it's destroyed his life is the very reason he hates it.
Carl Barks's comic story "Only a Poor Old Man" had Uncle Scrooge lecturing Donald Duck on how he'd be more secure if he had wealth. While making sure a mouse didn't eat his dollar bills.
Don Rosa's "Gyro's First Invention" has Scrooge lecturing Gyro Gearloose on the dangers of overvaluing his first invention: "What sentimental rubbish is that?! You can't base your whole career on such a small achievement! You won't get far in life with such a warped sense of proportions!" — all while carefully restoring his Number One Dime to its pedestal.
That's a recurring joke, too. In another Don Rosa comic ("The Treasury of Croesus"), Scrooge uncovers the money bin of king Croesus, who had left an entire room for his first coin. A historian comments: "Who would have guessed someone would be crazy enough to consider a single coin his greatest treasure?" Scrooge isn't amused.
In an early issue of Young Justice, Impulse, who acts without forethought or afterthought 100% of the time, said "Boy, don't you hate it when people go off and do whatever they feel like?" after Superboy headed out to confront a villain alone.
Blue Beetle: ...Yeah... besides, who'd ever buy a Super-Hero called the "Green Batman"? I mean, that's as bad as—
Batman: The Blue Beetle?
Blue Beetle: Well... um... ah...
Early on in Watchmen Rorschach, shown as the biggest wingnut of the lot, laments the sad mental condition of his former retired superhero colleagues.
One Les Pretend strip in The Beano had Les's dad discussing the daft things Les pretended to be with his friends, and them all laughing about it. It was at the end of this strip that we first learnt Les's dad and his friends are all Elvis Impersonators.
In Astérix and the Normans, Asterix and Obelix are ordered by Chief Vitalstatistix to see what a group of Norman invaders are doing in Gaul. On their return, Obelix reports to the chief that the Normans all "had such funny names, all ending in -af, like Nescaf, Decaf and Autograf!" Vitalstatistix is highly amused, and says to the other Gaulish villagers: "Ha ha! Did you hear that, Cacofonix, Geriatrix, Operatix, Acoustix, Polyphonix and Harmonix?"
While Clark and Lois were debating how to explain his absence during his death (don't ask, long story), Clark suggested several extremely stupid explanations, including rip tides and alien abductions. When Lois asked him what idiots would buy such pathetic excuses, he said: "You did".
Let's not forget the scene in 52, when Clark leapt off a building (he was depowered at the time, which is another long story) to get an interview with a new superhero. Lois wasn't happy about it. Clark pointed out that she used to do the same thing and could "write the book on it".
In an issue of Global Frequency a man claiming to be a magician (as in a proper one) is brought in, and claims that magic is a 'psychological discipline'. One of the people he's working with, a parapsychologist, makes a sneering comment about this. The magician is amused by the parapsychologist's superiority, pointing out that it's not as if her field is part of the rational orthodoxy. The parapsychologist is less amused by this.
Occurs fairly frequently in Dork Tower, either when the characters are complaining about a behavior they also embody, or when they're Leaning on the Fourth Wall about John Kovalic's writing or art.
In one panel of Gotham City Sirens, Batman makes a teeth-baringly horrific face while telling Riddler "You're not helping people by scaring them."
Fanfiction
Haruhi rants about how she hates it when light novels go beyond 10 novels, or when her manga and stories are ongoing in Kyon: Big Damn Hero. In the source material, Suzumiya Haruhi, the author's at the 10th novel, and it's just the start of the characters' second year in high school. The author also takes the opportunity to prove, and launch a Take That against one of the theories in the WMG.
Though, considering the prodigious length of the fic, it's entirely possible the rant was actually intended as self-depreciating humor.... And on closer examination, it seems Haruhi's only problem with series in the WMG is that she's not patient enough to wait for the next volume.
Also, Taniguchi mentions how he finds Konata's voice creepy to Haruhi. Haruhi and Konata are both voiced by Aya Hirano.
The dreaded My Immortal has Ebony/Enoby/Evony claiming not only to be a Yaoi Fangirl, but to oppose homophobia. However, when she suspects Draco has cheated on her with Harry/Vampire, she promptly accuses him of having AIDS (or, as she spells it, "AIDs"). Also, she tries to insult uncomplimentary reviewers by calling them "gay fags".
And as far as the AIDS accusation goes, keep in mind that she regularly drinks human blood.
In Winter War, Ise Nanao describes Aizen as "Something of a control obsessive. The sort of person who has to have everything exactly as planned, precisely as organised, every detail under their control... why are you looking at me like that?"
In the My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic fanfic "Once Bitten, Twice Shy", Rarity tells Applejack that it's rude to stare, then goes right back to her binoculars so she doesn't miss any part of Twilight and Fluttershy's first date. It's specifically noted in the narration that she's oblivious to the hypocrisy.
A classic version would be Chief Inspector Renault's "I am shocked, SHOCKED! to find gambling going on in this establishment!!" before pocketing his roulette winnings in Casablanca; in this case the juxtaposition is used to illustrate how flimsy a justification there is for shutting down Rick's.
On a darker tone, in Crash, Ludacris' character Anthony expresses chaff at the sight of a white woman clinging to her husband's arm as she passes him and his friend. Anthony then proceeds to go on a brief rant about how, being surrounded by over-caffeinated white people and triggerhappy LAPD, who will impulsively think the worst of them even though they don't appear the slight bit intimidating, he and Peter should have more reason to be afraid than anyone else. Why aren't they? Peter replies that it could be because they have guns. Anthony agrees, and the two proceed to carjack the couple.
Wallace:I hate you. Even I would think twice before dating a 17-year old.
[...]
Knives: [Upon learning that Wallace is gay] Do you want to know who in my class is gay?
Wallace:Yes. Does he wear glasses?
In a deleted scene from the first Harry Potter film, available on the DVD, this is achieved in a somewhat roundabout fashion:
Hermione: And what, may I ask, do you plan to do if this comes up on the final exam? Ron: Copy off you! Hermione: No you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell. Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!
A straighter example from Azkaban which actually made it into the film:
Trelawney: In this room, you shall explore the noble art of Divination. In this room, you shall discover if you possess the Sight. [bumps into desk]
Professor Umbridge is a living embodiment of this, in a disturbing sort of way..."here, write (into your flesh) the phrase 'I Must Not Tell Lies' over and over while I spew a continuous stream of lies and misleading propaganda!"
Austin Powers in Goldmember. The eponymous villain is the Dutchman Johann "Goldmember" Van Der Smut.
Nigel Powers: There are two kinds of people that I can't stand: People who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures... and the Dutch.
Also, in the first film when Austin is collecting some of his things from a clerk, the clerk gives him a penis enlarger. Austin denies it is his and claims he would never need such a thing. The clerk then proceeds to hand him things like his receipt of purchase and a photograph of him endorsing the enlarger. Not to mention his writing the book on the subject: Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby, By Austin Powers.
Similarly done in Star Wars where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Anakin 'only the Sith deal in absolutes' proving that even a great Jedi master can miss the point. Might not have been intentional, as the Jedi, at least in the films, are intended to be seen as Always Right About Everything.
Not quite. Obi-Wan is referring to absolutes in the Eastern religious sense where the term describes an inflexible and narrow-minded way of thinking. That is to say that someone who deals in absolutes — i.e. "If you're not with me then you're my enemy." — lacks a nuanced perspective of reality.
In Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, the frequently adulterous Delysia and another equally adulterous friend are complaining about the friend's fiancee breaking it off after only suspecting her of having an affair:
Delysia: Men are so untrusting. I can't think why.
A film version of Oliver Twist has the Work House's owners stuffing their faces full of rich food while whining about how the poor people are so greedy, with their talk of wanting more than one bowl of porridge and a bit of dry bread! How dare they!
Similar scenes (with varying degrees of subtlety) can be found in most media dealing with the rich-vs-poor dynamic.
In Hitchcock's Rear Window, Stella (Thelma Ritter) spends most of the film helping Jeff (Jimmy Stewart) and Lisa (Grace Kelly) prove that neighbor Raymond Burr, who they've been snooping on from afar, has murdered his wife. In the film's penultimate scene, after a cop asks Ritter if she'll help them dig up the body, she replies: "No thanks, I don't want any part of it!" (This might also be a double entendre, since the implication is that the body has been dismembered and possibly decapitated.)
The President's Analyst: A self-described "liberal" character mentions that his next-door neighbors are "real right-wingers, American flag up every day. Real fascists. Ought to be gassed!"
Death Race: The warden of the prison (Joan Allen) has a guard beat Jason Statham's character for saying the word "ass." She does this because, for her, "language is an issue." Later in the film, she says the phrase, "Okay cocksucker. Fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk."
Rather subtly used in The Incredibles. In the opening interview segments, each of the supers voiced opinions that they went on to contradict in the film itself:
Mr Incredible expresses annoyance that "No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again," and says that he'd like to settle down and start a family. But when the Super Registration Act is passed, Bob Parr has a harder time than anyone adjusting to civilian life, and is constantly itching to jump back into action.
And, naturally, the inverse applies to his wife, Helen, aka Elastigirl, who said that she wasn't about to settle down and leave the saving the world to the men; she adjusts to everyday life quite nicely.
When Indy first meets Mutt in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, he approves of Mutt's leaving school in order to find his own way in the world. Once he learns that Mutt is his son, practically the first words out of his mouth are "You're going back to school!"
Indy also raises an amused eyebrow when he learns Mutt chose to name himself after a dog...
In the Tony Hancock film The Rebel, Hancock has escaped from his office job to try and make it as an artist in Paris. He complains that everyone in his office dressed identically in pinstripe suits......to a group of identically dressed goth types who react with horror to the idea of a place where everyone dresses the same.
Pirates of the Caribbean. Jack's crew steals the Pearl in the final battle. The event is witnessed by two pirates, Rigetti and Pintel.
Ragetti: Our ship's sailing away! Is it supposed to be doing that? Pintel: They're stealing our ship! Ragetti: ...BLOODY PIRATES!
Luke: Guys! A little sensitivity here. God! Can't you see this is a dejected man? Well, Rick get your dejected head out of your ass.
A small (and possibly justified) one in Mary Poppins. Mrs. Banks comes home from a suffragette rally and sings a song about how the suffragettes are fighting against men for women's rights then immediately tells the maid to hide the sashes since Mr. Banks doesn't approve of them.
Used to hilarious effect in the first The Naked Gun movie. After Officer Nordberg (O.J. Simpson) narrowly survives an attempt on his life, Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) assures Nordberg's wife that the men responsible for the attack will be brought to justice.
Lt. Drebin: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. (Turning, to his partner Ed) Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
The Room: "I cannot tell you, it's confidential. Anyway, how's your sex life?" As with everything else in this movie, it's very unclear if it was meant to be funny.
Sister Act, when the three main nuns are having a midnight snack of ice cream in the kitchen with Mary Clarence.
Mary Clarence: I know we shouldn't be doing this.
Mary Lazarus: It's a sin, a wicked indulgence. (looks in the cartons in disappointment) Didn't they have any butter pecan?
In the movie Bridget Jones's Diary, Bridget has been receiving a series of flirty e-mail messages from her Handsome Lech boss Daniel Cleaver talking about her skirt, and she replies by pretending to take offense. Daniel sends her one final message:
Mortified to have caused offense. Will avoid all non-P.C. overtones in future. Deeply apologetic. P.S. Like your tits in that top.
In the first Wayne's World, the two main characters say that it's wrong to sell out...while eating Pizza Hut pizza, Doritos, and covered in Reebok clothes.
In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade the film proper (after the prologue) introduces us to Indiana as a college professor. Every bit of his lecture to the college class is contradicted later in his search for the grail. "Maps never lead to buried treasure, x never marks the spot."
In Tangled, during Mother Gothel's Villain Song she sings the line "Skip the drama/stay with mama", whilst coming down some candle-lined stairs in an elaborate fashion.
In Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure!, when Bill and Ted get drafted into Billy the Kid's poker game, Bill gently admonishes Ted to "have a poker face, like me". Not ten seconds later he looks at his cards and exclaims "Woah, three Aces, dude!"
In Mystery Team, Jason, Duncan, and Charlie are attempting to prove to Kelly that they're adult and professional enough to solve her parents' murder:
In Clue, this is the basis for a Running Gag: whenever one of the other guests's crimes or indiscretions is revealed, Mrs. Peacock is not at all shy at loudly expressing her moral disapproval. Meanwhile, she spends her days working as a bagman for her husband, a politician who takes bribes in exchange for awarding defense contracts. This is especially pronounced with The Reveal that Colonel Mustard was a war profiteer and Miss Scarlet bribed a police officer to keep her brothel open.
Judge Dredd. Fergie's and Dredd's discussion while on the transport to the Aspen Penal Colony.
Herman Ferguson: Dredd? What are you doing here?
Judge Dredd: I was convicted of a crime. Wrongly.
Herman:(laughs) That's kinda weird! What are the odds? Two wrongly convicted guys sitting right next to each other?
Dredd: You received the sentence the law required.
Herman: Five years? Just for saving my own ass? That was a mistake!
Dredd: The law doesn't... make mistakes.
Herman: Really? Then how do you explain what happened to you?
(Dredd pauses)
Herman: You can't, can you? Great. Mr. I-am-the-law can't. So maybe this is some kind of typo. Maybe it's a glitch. Or maybe it's poetic justice.
Whilst inside the theater in the first Scary Movie film, Brenda warns the rest of the audience not to talk during the movie, while merrily doing so herself. Her behaviour is so obnoxious that they resort to murdering her so they can enjoy the remainder of the presentation.
In The Comedy Of Terrors, after Vincent Price's undertaker character learns that the widow of a man he killed in order to bring business to his funeral home has taken her husband's money and split for Europe without paying for the funeral services, he looks skyward and laments "Is there no morality left in this world?"
In The Woman, after the feral woman bites off Chris' finger, he yells at her to tell her that what she did was uncivilized. Coming from the man who's keeping a feral woman locked in his cellar.
In The Truman Show, at the end of an interview, the interviewer thanks Christof for his time, noting how he values his privacy, which is, in fact the one thing (besides honesty) he has denied Truman his whole life.
Literature
In The Wide Window, the third installment in A Series of Unfortunate Events, Captain Sham says, "There ain't nothin' better than good grammer!" Guess what's so hypocritical about that.
The book of Layer Cake combines this with the Unreliable Narrator idea when the protagonist, a London drug dealer, expresses self-consciousness that himself and his Affably Evil (and Ax Crazy) associates are perceived by outsiders as dangerous criminals (he thinks of himself as a businessman). Of particular note is a scene Oop North, where he derides the hostess at a fleabag hotel for her mistrustful attitude towards himself and these associates, yet has just described spending the previous night on a drug and alcohol-fueled binge in which they hired an underage prostitute for him as a practical joke.
The narrator's friends spent the night on a binge. The narrator spent the night having dinner with a fellow drug dealer and then, for reasons too convoluted to go into now, ended up being dumped at a service station by the aforementioned dealer. And there's no suggestion that the prostitute was underage.
Used for a quick in-joke in the Little House series, written by Laura Ingalls Wilder (paraphrased slightly):
Mary: "I am planning to write a book someday. But I also planned to teach school, and you're doing it for me! Perhaps you will write the book!"
Laura: "I, write a book? I'm going to be an old maid schoolteacher! Write your own book!"
One of the Running Gags of James Herriot's semi-autobiographical series of memoirs was his boss Siegfried Farnon's habit of advising James (and others) to take a certain course of action — only to turn around and advise them against it a short time later, or do the exact opposite himself. Sometimes in the same scene. At one point he notes that James has been dillydallying about courting Helen, and basically bullies James into proposing; after Helen accepts, Farnon promptly berates James for rushing into marriage. The kicker is that when confronted, Siegfried feigns complete amnesia re: the previous conversations, then gently, maddeningly, chides the other for getting so upset. On more than one occasion Herriot describes wanting to hit him when this "saintly look" comes over his face.
In the Young Adult novel Sprout, the eponymous character shares a heartwarming first kiss (In a tree no less) with his best friend, Ty. After they kiss for a few minutes, Sprout makes a comment about homosexuality to which Ty responds by frowning and saying "I'm not gay." Before kissing him again.
Mocked in one of Scott (Dilbert) Adams' parody textbooks, when he points out that someone in a book he read used twelve words, two languages, and two brackets to say "don't be wordy". He goes on to point out that it does sound quite smart, even though someone who spoke that language probably believed you could cure leprosy by eating mud.
In fact, the book you are now reading was written on a personal computer, which is why it is devoid of the "typos" that were so common in the days of old-fashioned wersp oidop gfegkog pl;gpp$R$%!%.
Sergeant Jackrum from Monstrous Regiment is in the habit of saying "Upon my oath, I am not a (adjective) man!" and immediately proving it untrue - e.g., "Upon my oath, I am not a violent man!" followed by him punching someone. As it turns out, it's not actually hypocrisy, only misdirection — Sergeant Jackrum is indeed not a violent man.
It's almost not hypocritical anyway — the way he uses the line implies, "...but now you've forced me to do this."
In Jingo!, Sergeant Colon spent the entire book as The Clavin, telling Nobby Little Known Facts about Klatch, the ocean and, at one point, tattoos. When someone else in a crowd started expounding on donkeys and minarets, he muttered "There's always a know-all". Nobby agreed.
In the same book, a conversation between Colon and Nobby about Klatchians relies heavily on this. For example, Colon says "They don't know how to do an honest day's work!" and Nobby points out that Mr. Goriff, the owner of the Klatchian take-away, nearly never closes it. (Colon himself is rather lazy and dim, and would rather "guard" *
That's 'guard' as in 'make sure it doesn't escape' rather than 'protect from harm'.
a bridge than do anything difficult or dangerous.)
Colon: All this business about lords and kings, it's against basic human dignity. We're all equal. It makes me sick.
Nobby: Never heard you talk like this before, Fred.
Colon: That's Sergeant Colon to you, Nobby.
And he repeats the above line in, again, Jingo!, after Vimes has a word with him about calling Goriff a "raghead", and he tells Nobby he's never minded what people call him.
In American Psycho, Patrick Bateman and some other guys are appalled that the only thing their dates can seem to talk about is clothes (furs, specifically), when they talk about much more important things... like business suits.
There is a poem in Russian called The Chatterer, about a girl complaining that someone made it up that she was one, and the truth is, she has no time at all to chatter... over forty lines follow of her explaining why.
Hypocritical one-liners are a staple of Jack Handey's books: "If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say."
The Deadpan Snarker narrator of Pride and Prejudice more than once describes the Grumpy Bear Elizabeth as naturally inclined to be happy. "But it was her business to be satisfied — and certainly her temper to be happy"... less than a page after sharing her philosophy that happiness requires disappointment: "By carrying with me one ceaseless source of regret in my sister's absence, I may reasonably hope to have all my expectations of pleasure realised. A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful; and general disappointment is only warded off by the defence of some little peculiar vexation."
It's not just the narrator either; Mrs. Bennet is very fond of retroactively trying to rewrite history to make it look as if she's always in the right (particularly with regard to prospective / not-so-prospective sons-in-law), which fools no one. Wickham, for his part, takes pains to stress that he takes no pleasure in revealing the 'truth' of his history with Mr. Darcy... while taking every possible opportunity to reiterate the 'truth' of his history with Mr. Darcy.
"Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. I quit such odious subjects as soon as I can, impatient to restore everybody, not greatly in fault themselves, to tolerable comfort, and to have done with all the rest." This statement comes from Mansfield Park, her token Darker and Edgier novel that dwells on guilt and misery and denies the heroine tolerable comfort longer than any of her other novels.
Joan Hess uses this a lot in her Maggody comedy/mystery series, most often when locals boast of being the soul of discretion, swearing not to blab some secret they've been entrusted with, then immediately pass it on to a third party.
Brother Verber, whose internal monologue suggests he's honestly convinced his forays to strip clubs and porn theaters are for "research" into potential moral threats, can act out this trope all by himself.
Rules For Radicals gives the "suggestion" to accuse opponents of what you are doing yourself.
At one point in The Last Camel Died at Noon, Amelia Peabody Emerson pats herself on the back for nagging her husband into a certain course of action. When it goes badly a few pages later, she notes that if he'd listened to her, he would never have taken that course. Apparently, she forgot to edit the relevant portion of her journal.
In Great Expectations, Pip attends a very bad amateur production of Hamlet. At the point where the actor playing Hamlet speaks the line "Don't saw the air thus", a heckler points out that the actor is doing exactly the same thing.
In Catch-22, Chief White Halfoat decries racism thus:
It's a terrible thing to treat a decent Native American like a <string of racial epithets>.
In the Sherlock Holmes story The Man with the Twisted Lip, we learn that Holmes holds people smoking opium in quite a low esteem. Him being a cocaine addict doesn't change this. This was, however, a typical stance back then — cocaine and heroin were OK for upper class if not overdone, while opium was a low man's drug.
The thousand-year-old Djinni Bartimaeus from the book series where he's the eponymous character is absolutely prone to this, and he generally sums up his own traits here in his thoughts about his fellow Djinni:
"To be fair, a few of them were all right. Nimshik had a spent a good while in Canaan and had interesting points to make about the local tribal politics; Menes, a youngish djinni, listened attentively to my words of wisdom; even Chosroes grilled a mean imp. But the rest were sorry wastes of essence. Beyzer being boastful, Tivoc sarcastic, and Xoxen full of false modesty, which in my humble opinion are three immediately tiresome traits."
Bartimaeus actually has a bit of a right to be as boastful as he was, however, and for that reason he strikes some as a clever Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass.
Although there are quite a lot who know that he's more of a Chaotic Neutral in practically the purest sense.
See the entry of Brevity Is Wit for the full version of the verse by Shakespeare, which is anything but brief about talking about brevity (then again, when has Shakespeare done anything that wasn't in the form of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness?). Of course, Polonius was supposed to be a dottering windbag, so it's intentional.
In Harry Potter, hypocritical humor tends to follow this format:
"Ah, well, people can be a bit stupid abou' their pets," said Hagrid wisely. Behind him, Buckbeak spat a few ferret bones onto Hagrid's pillow.
Lampshaded in the second book: when Ron is rescuing Harry by a magic car, he chastises Harry for (allegedly*
it was actually Dobby
) using magic outside school. Harry wryly replies, "bit rich coming from you."
In the very first book, Vernon believes that wizards will be unable to deliver Harry's letter if he nails the mail slot shut because: "'These people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me,' said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him."
Platitude,n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A demi-tasse of milk-and morality. The Pope's-nose of a featherless peacock. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. The cackle surviving the egg. A desiccated epigram.
In The Monster at the End of this Book, Grover spends the entire book being afraid of the monster. At the end, after learning that he himself is the monster, he turns around and berates the reader for having been so terrified when there was nothing to be afraid of.
The Wheel Of Time does this from time to time, most frequently if Nynaeve is the perspective character, or is being remarked about by another character. Particularly, she tends to complain of people being unreasonably violent, and then propose to hit them until they stop it.
Gabe: [Shouting after a hipster that bumped into him] Faggot!
Claire: Hey, shut up! My brother is a faggot.
M*A*S*H, in its first couple of seasons, would often show Majors Burns and Houlihan spying on and expressing disgust at the sexual dalliances of the other characters... which would get the Majors so horny they'd immediately start fooling around themselves.
In a lesser example from a later season, Hawkeye and B.J. start riffing on famous Shakespearean phrases ("Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears, I promise to return them.") Winchester counters with a straight reading of the Hamlet line, "There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Hawkeye replies, "Man, if there's one thing I hate it's someone who butchers Shakespeare."
Another instance:
Klinger: It was all just a misunderstanding; I would never try to bribe an officer! (pause) Ten bucks to forget the whole thing.
Michael: Some people are just impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled attempt to insult me, I didn't hear it, and I won't respond to it.
The examples from this show could fit a whole page.
iCarly: Many of the episodes use this a lot. Each character even has at least one of these.
While Gibby walks out of the studio:
Carly: Poor kid. It must feel bad to love someone who doesn't love you back.
Freddie: (turns to stare at Carly)
Carly: Sorry.
When the gang is cleaning up the mess of the police stakeout:
Sam: Some people just have no manners. (throws an empty soda can on the floor for Freddie to pick up)
After Spencer's high-powered sculpture destroyed their longest webcast World Record attempt:
Spencer: Hey guys, don't make me look guilty, like it was all my fault.
Carly, Sam, Freddie: (ALL stare at Spencer)
Spencer: Oh yeah.
When discussing about the Dingo Channel:
Spencer: Aw, I hate that channel! They always make adults look like buffoons!
Carly: You forgot to wear pants.
Spencer: Oh my god.
Extremely common in Scrubs episodes. E.g: Elliot makes a crack about Dr Cox's god complex. Dr Cox claims he has no idea what she's talking about, only to demand a random extra kiss his ring.
Done subtly and hilariously in one episode of Spin City. Having invited a gangsta rapper to the mayor's office over the matter of his lyrics, Carter says, "And remember, no gangsta stereotypes!" The rapper arrives and reaches into his coat for a business card... and Carter screams "GUN!" and dives behind a desk. Later on, when the rapper reaches into his pocket for something else, Carter does it again.
One of the most popular types of joke on the sitcom Cheers. Examples:
Norm: Woody you can't go sneaking out nights on someone you love! Woody you have to believe that truth-"
Carla: "Norm your wife Vera's on the phone!"
Norm: "I'm not here.(back to Woody)- and honesty are the cornerstones of a relationship!"
In another episode the guys see recurring French Jerk Henri walk into the bar:
Barfly 1: Hey isn't that that French guy who's trying to steal Woody's girlfriend?
Cliff: Yeah, what a slimebag.
Barfly 2: The man's got the morals of a snake.
Norm: Can't believe he'd show his face in here.
Henri: (smiles and waves) Hello fellows!
Norm and the others: (very cheerfully)Hey Henri! How you doin'?
Roz: Frasier's a good guy, he's smart, he's sweet, and way too good for you. Why don't you just leave, nobody here likes you anyway. Julia: Frasier seems to. Roz: Well he's an idiot.
In the Frasier episode where the Cheers regulars show up, the lazy bar-fly Norm hits it off with Marty. When time comes for them to part company, Marty invites Norm to catch up if ever Norm's in Seattle:
Marty: It's only six hours flying time from Boston to Seattle.
Norm: Six hours...you know sittin' there in one place, never movin'. That's, that's just not me, you know?
There's also a bit where it looks like Frasier is going to be compelled to tell the truth about Niles' feelings for Daphne at Niles' divorce deposition, thus ruining his chance of getting anything in the settlement and exposing his feelings for Daphne. Martin urges him to just lie, but Frasier feels his ethics forbid this. After the resulting argument, Frasier storms out, and Martin sneers about how Frasier buckles under pressure, and how "some of us [i.e. him] can deal with a tough situation head on, and others just need an escape'... whilst he's pouring himself a stiff drink and Niles has retreated to his 'safe place' under the piano.
From "Shrink Rap":
Frasier: I am so tired of your exaggeration! You always make things sound 50,000 times worse than they really are!
Frasier basically runs on this trope, in both it's one-liner and more subtle forms. The very premise of the show is a form of this trope — a brilliant psychiatrist who is always giving people advice on how to fix their problems, but can't figure out his own neuroses or relationships to save his life.
On Corner Gas, in which the following exchange occurs:
Oscar: (to Emma) Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre!
Brent: Keep in mind that Dad does have a tendency to overstate these things.
Oscar: I've never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet!
Not to mention:
Karen: She seems quick to judge. I noticed that right away about her.
This was half of Maya's repertoire in Just Shoot Me!, aside from shrill activism. Oddly enough, there were other times where they didn't seem to be playing it as a gag, she just was... hypocritical. (For instance, deriding Elliot for his nerdy looks back in high school.) In fact there were times where this seemed to be a Family Unfriendly Aesop, implying that others were being unreasonable in asking her to stop berating someone over their looks or social status, or for her to apologize for doing so.
Jack was also prone to it, especially where Maya is concerned. He tries to make her break up with a much older boyfriend in one episode, despite being married to one of Maya's high school friends.
Benny: That's just like white people, taking one group and saying they're all the same!
The Framing Device of How I Met Your Mother is an older Ted telling his children how he met his current wife, and so far he's been telling this story for six seasons to his eternally bored looking kids. One of his stories has Ted finding out that he can't stand his new girlfriend anymore because she just won't shut up.
Ted: So, kids, Kathy couldn't stop talking. Can you imagine how awful that is?
Kids: ...
Robin's therapist tells her he's moving to Alaska. Turns out he had to stop seeing her because he was attracted to her.
Robin: [offended] So you dumped me as a patient so you could ask me out?
Doyle: It's not all about fighting and gadgets and such. It's about reaching out to people, showing them that there's love and hope still left in the world....
Homeless Woman: (interrupting) Hey, spare change?
Doyle: Get a job, you lazy sow!
In an episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert briefly shared a story about how he once found one of his teenage staff members out back smoking with his friends while wearing an anti-smoking T-shirt. When questioned, he replied that he "thought it was funny."
In another episode, Stephen, distraught over the loss of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, looks up the Five Stages of Grief. "Stage One... Denial. I've never had that."
In The Daily Show, Jon Stewart criticized the 2010 British election debates, saying: "Your moderator is named Alastair Stewart! What kind of last name is Stewart?"
Also pointed out and derided via an "epithet ticker" when Sarah Palin defended Dr. Laura Shlesinger's career (a hasty retirement after using the N-word) in a Tweet - mere months after calling for Rahm Emanuel's job for using the word "retard"... which, incidentally, was up five points.
Actually averted in Palin's case: Emanuel used 'retard' as an intentional and malicious insult, while Dr. Laura was quoting, and railing against, the numerous african-american rappers and pop culture icons who use the n-word prolifically. The caller ignored her entire argument, and took offense with her use of the n-word, even though it was okay for the original speaker to do so.
Kathy Griffin, describing how disappointed her Catholic mother was with her Emmy award speech: "Kathryn, why'd ya have ta tell Jesus to suck it, gawddamnit? I can't even show my face at church, fer Christ's sake! Damn, Kathryn, don't be so rude!"
The West Wing sometimes Played for Laughs the fact that much of the US population engages in this. At one point they quoted two opinion polls that demonstrated at least 14% of Americans think contributions to the UN are too high, and at the same time think it shouldn't be cut.
This is actually very easily duplicated, and is not as much a matter of hypocrisy as it is the result of asking leading questions. It's Truth in Television, as many polls are designed to get certain results to be used as propaganda.
Then there's the sixth season's Democratic convention negotiations.
Leo: This is the week when pull this party together and show the American people we can lead with integrity and maturity. Okay, the speaking order. Rock, Paper, Scissors on three.
Strangers with Candy: "There's only one thing I hate more than racists, and that's spics!"
Sally on Drop the Dead Donkey is often guilty of this, to the point where her colleagues made a montage of her saying "I'm not one to complain, but..."
And she responded to this by turning to George and saying...
In another episode, Helen finally tells her mother she's gay. Her mother responds that she knows, and it's probably hereditary because she had some same-sex relationships herself. Helen spends the rest of the episode outraged that her mother has been keeping this from her for years.
As the late, great, George Carlin put it, "So I say live and let live. That's my motto: Live and let live. Anyone who can't go along with that, take 'em outside and shoot the motherfucker. It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family."
Possibly unintentional example: In an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, Kirk is told "Your old titles mean nothing here, Captain."
Anna: I was asking about pot. You know, marijuana. Maria: I know what pot is. So, you assume I'm a pothead, as well as a lesbian? Because all stage managers are pot-smoking lesbians, right? Anna: No! Maria: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint 'cha, but... I'm all out. This process has been hard on my stash, and my guy's out of town 'till Tuesday. Sorry.
Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.
"I! WOULD PUT A TAX! ON ALL PEOPLE! WHO'D STAND! IN WATER! WHOA!"
This little gem from the Argument Clinic sketch.
Mr Barnard: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Man: Yes, but that's not just saying "No it isn't."
Mr. Barnard: Yes it is!
Man: No it isn't!
This one's a bit of a subversion though, as the man doesn't just say "No it isn't," - the moment the laughter dies down he gives an actual argument.
Mind you, he only does this after he notices what he just said.
In a recurring In Living Color! skit, Kim Wayans played an inner city woman named Miss Benita Buttrel, who would often decry the gossip surrounding several figures in her neighborhood...and then proceed to bury them under rumor and slander in the ugliest way possible. Nearly every time she was finished talking about someone, she would then add on, "But I ain't one to gossip, so you didn't hear that from me."
More like humor based off of hypocrisy, but in Red Dwarf, Rimmer finds out Lister is using illegal learning drugs to study for his Chef's Exam. Rimmer demands names, places, and dates. "Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning."
Kate in NCIS complained about Tony's porn obsession but looked at porn sites herself off-work and moaned about sexual objectification of women just before finding a bunch of shirtless men being photographed highly attractive. We'll put the Wet T-Shirt contest in her college days as something that occurred when drunk.
On the 1970s-90s country music/comedy series Hee Haw, the recurring Gossip Girls sketch started with the actresses claiming that they never spread gossip in the following lyrics: "Now, we're not ones to go 'round spreadin' rumors, Why, really we're just not the gossipy kind, No, you'll never hear one of us repeating gossip, So you'd better be sure and listen close the first time!"
This bit from The Muppet Show. Rather than watch the show, Statler and Waldorf opt to watch television through a set installed in the box, and upon flipping through the channels, find...
Statler: What is THAT?!
Waldorf: Looks like two ancient old guys sitting in a theatre box watching television!
The basic concept of Michelle in Grownups; a nutritionist who constantly eats junk food.
Played straight in the Only Fools and Horses episode "Little Problems". Del is asked to make a contribution for his younger brother's wedding, and doesn't want to pay out too much money. Once he realizes that the bride's father only means a contribution of ideas and opinions, he attempts to get out of his earlier suggestion of using the old pub for the reception and back to a country club. When Alan anxiously asks, "But surely you don't like all that type of thing, do you?", Del replies, "Oh, I hate it. I hate it, Alan. I mean, those sorts of people only do things for effect," as he is served a massive cocktail, complete with fruit and umbrellas.
One episode of Will and Grace has Jack develop an addiction to coffee while dating someone from a coffeehouse, and then ends up trying to squeeze coffee out of the used filters from a coffee-maker after said boyfriend quits. Karen then proceeds to lecture him about dealing with the problem... while washing down a pill with a martini.
Karen: Ok, ok, it's over. Now, listen to me. (gets out a pill) The first thing you have to do is admit that you have a problem. (swirls the pill in her martini) Because if you can't even recognize the signs... (drops the wet pill into her mouth) Then you are really in sorry shape. (washes down the pill)Oh, mmm! (to the martini glass) Why are you so good to me?
Karen: Well, you know me. If there's one thing I cannot do, it is hurt another person's feelings.
Jack: That is so true, Karen. You do have a kind heart.
Karen: (pause) I'm sorry, honey. I don't what it is, but your faggy little voice is just going right through me today.
And then when discussing the incompetent Middle Eastern woman Grace has hired:
Grace: You know what? You're never going to understand. I mean, the fact is, I'm tolerant. And you are...well, maybe a little bit racist.
Karen: How dare you call me a racist! A homophobe? Maybe. Distrustful of Spaniards? Who isn't? But nobody calls me a racist. And you can ask anyone I own.
Malcolm: Oh, and that's an incredibly homophobic headline you're running with, you massive poof.
The Ferguson Theory (a BBC Scotland sketch show starring Craig Ferguson before he moved to the US) had a sketch in which a character criticised recent evidence of racism in the British government, before concluding "But what do you expect from the bloody English?"
In Lark Rise To Candleford, Dorcas Lane has a tendency to describe whatever vice / indulgence she's about to enjoy — fine food, fine baths, clothes, etc — as "my one weakness."
House: When Greg House puts speed in Wilson's coffee to test if Wilson is on anti-depressants, Wilson is rather livid. Later in that episode comes the revelation that Wilson has been dosing House with anti-depressants. In fairness to Wilson, he may have actually been angry at House for deliberately putting him at risk of dangerous medication interactions- but that becomes Hypocritical Humor when he follows up his rant with "give me a Vicodin before I have a stroke."
On Top Gear, after their homebuilt electric car has received a scathing review from Autocar magazine, the three presenters complain that the critics were too hard on their vehicle and that it will hurt their sales... and what do people who review cars for a living know, anyway?
In Castle, Martha can often be relied upon to provide humour of this nature; such as, the night before one of Rick's book launches:
Martha: [chuckling] You really are something, you know? You always think everything's about you. [Hands him a stack of leaflets]] Here.
Castle: What are these?
Martha: Oh, they're fliers for my play. I thought you could hand them out when you were signing books tomorrow.
In a later episode, both Castle and Beckett have gone out on separate dates and ended up at the same restaurant; their preoccupation with the Body of the Week and tendency to slip away from their supposed dates to confer about the case with each other turned off their dates. At the end of the episode, as Castle and Beckett go out to grab a bite to eat, they swap notes on their dates earlier that evening, remarking that they seemed 'boring' and 'a little self-absorbed':
Castle: Some people just don't know how to behave on a date.
Beckett: Especially on a first date.
Martha walks in on Castle and Alexis playing poker.
Martha: I am shocked that there is gambling in this house! Deal me in.
In another episode, Castle tries to talk to Alexis, who just interrupted movie night with her dad because her boyfriend wants to talk to her: "I mean, think about what kind of signal you're sending if you're the one always rearranging your schedule at the other one's every beck and call. I mean, if you just drop everything the very moment that..." At which point Beckett calls him, and he drops everything.
Disney Channel. Every single Live Action television series and every episode of that series. Almost every single joke cracked in it will be Hypocritical Humor.
Siegfried from All Creatures Great And Small has a bad habit of blaming his mistakes on other people, as well as criticizing them for faults he also possesses. And he does it so sanctimoniously.
James: You know the one thing I can't stand about your brother, Tris? It's when he gets patient with you. He gets this saintly look on his face and you know that any moment now he's going to forgive you. For something he's just done.
In the Buffy episode "Earshot" Wesley points out that since Buffy can hear everyone's thoughts, it would take mental discipline to not broadcast their thoughts to Buffy. Within seconds, Wesley thinks about Cordelia in a highly inappropriate way. Buffy smirks at Wesley, and he excuses himself from the room in embarrassment.
In the Musical Episode "Once More With Feeling" Spike's song is all about how he wishes Buffy would get the hell away from him as his unrequited feelings for her are tearing him up. When Buffy flees at the end of the song, Spike calls out pitiably, "So, you're not staying then?"
In "A New Man" Giles is turned into a demon, but declares that he won't start acting like a monster just because he looks like one. Then he sees a professor who pissed him off earlier in the episode, and chases her down the street roaring loudly.
Private Frazer in Dad's Army is quite fond of loudly expressing one bitterly-held and often contentious viewpoint, only to immediately switch to loudly expressing its exact opposite when it no longer becomes prudent to hold the first viewpoint.
Val: I can be spontaneous. Right now I'm going to come up with a list of spontaneous things to do. I'm gonna need some graph paper.
In the April 14 2000 episode of Royal Canadian Air Farce, Vera asks her friends at the donut shop if they got their Lotto 649 tickets for the week. Charlie gets upset and says that lotteries are a tax on the stupid, people have a better chance of getting hit by a bus than winning, and lotteries are for "lazy unmotivated people who don't want to do an honest day's work." Al asks how many tickets he bought, and Charlie replies, "The usual, six."
In the March 31 2000 episode, John Morgan is on a commuter train and two of his fellow passengers start having loud conversations on their cell phones. He picks up an imaginary phone and starts having a pretend conversation about how he's "sitting in the middle of a couple of cell phone A-holes" and how obnoxious it is to talk on a cell phone in public. After the "cell phone A-holes" get up and leave, though, Morgan takes out an actual cell phone and makes a call of his own.
Taylor Swift wrote a musical monologue when she hosted Saturday Night Live (November 7, 2009). The song basically consists of her talking about stuff she likes, the douchebags in her life, who she may or may not be dating now, but she ends each verse with "I'm not gonna talk about X in my monologue."
In Freaks and Geeks, Daniel tells Kim he's "just trying to be rational" about why Lindsay's parents would disapprove of her. Kim does not appreciate it.
Kim: Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and throw it over that fence.
In Samantha Who, Samantha is relating an incident to her ex boyfriend, breaking off to ask him to 'Please put down the baloney, I'm trying to tell you how I don't need attention from men anymore!'
Paris from Gilmore Girls was annoyed with the fact that she couldn't find a soup kitchen to volunteer in on Thanksgiving because they were all overflowing with volunteers. "Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They can't all be students like me. They're not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people don't get a thing. Talk about selfish!"
One of Kenny Everett's running characters was 'Mr Angry of Mayfair', a city gent who would usefully appear to complain about the filth on TV, only to reveal at the end that he was dressed in women's underwear.
Life on Mars: While on a drug-related case with Sam, Gene admits that his brother was an addict and that he could never understand why. Sam mentions that addiction is usually a sign of something missing at home.
Gene: Yeah, but me and 'im were brought up exactly the same. I'm not addicted. (Takes a drink from his hip-flask).
In the second episode of Dexter's third season, Dexter is trying to track down the address of a recent murder victim; his searches take him to a sorority house during a party. When he asks two of the girl's sisters if they know her, they dismissively state that she's a "total ho bag". Then they ask Dexter if he's got any drugs. "We put out."
Rick from The Young Ones, at the top of his lungs: "I AM NOT GETTING AGGRESSIVE!!!!"
Mimi from The Drew Carey Show constantly made fun of Drew's weight calling him names like
From Yes Minister: "In politics you have to learn to say things with tact and finesse, you berk."
Robbie is one of the most active people in LazyTown due to his schemes...despite said schemes revolving around making the tow's citizens lazy and unhealthy.
Lampshaded in one of the episodes where Sportacus points out how active the villain really is.
In the Seinfeld episode "The Jimmy", Jerry asked Kramer "Do you really feel the need to use a lot of obscenities at the dentist's office?" It's interesting because Jerry once used a colorful metaphor to describe how good his yogurt was.
In another episode, George complains about being set up on a blind date with a bald woman. George is bald.
The Weird Al Show episode 11, in reference to another in-universe show host parodying him:
Al: How awful! How heartless! How could anyone sink so low as to do a PARODY of another human being??
Community: After Senor Chang has ordered the class to 'turn on' Britta, resulting in her being pelted with paper.
Britta: "Ow! Real mature." [She leaves] Senor Chang: [Childishly] "That's right, we are mature! Too mature to sit in a class with a cheating lying poop-face!" [Britta has long since left the room]
Also when they're all panicking about Britta's psych test showing one of them is a potential murderer (turns out it's all of them except Abed):
Annie: Stay back psychos! Or I'll slit your throats and bathe in your blood!
On Amen, after Reverend Gregory has fainted, effectively ending his and Thelma's wedding. Thelma is freaking out, shaking him and demanding that he wake up.
Deacon Frye: "Thelma, calm down! I know you're disappointed, but we have to call off the wedding! So what if I'm out $10,000. $10,000! (Grabs Reuben and starts shaking him the same way Thelma was) Wake up! Wake up! How could you do this to me!"
(Minister grabs the Deacon)
Minister: "Ernest, pull yourself together man! Money isn't everything!"
Deacon: "I'm glad to hear you say that, because if there's no wedding, you don't get paid!"
Minister: (grabs Reuben and starts shaking him) "Wake up! Wake up!"
In his debut episode of The Flash, the Trickster is about to chainsaw a woman in half in front of an "audience" of mannequins.
Megan Lockhart: Go to hell!
Trickster: Watch your language—this is a family show!
(The Flash runs in and pushes her out of the way at superspeed)
On McLeod's Daughters, Claire chastises Jodie for believing that she's been cursed for tearing up a chain letter, saying that there is no justification for superstition. She immediately proceeds to knock a container of salt and throws it over her shoulder.
On Tom Lehrer's That Was The Year That Was, before the "National Brotherhood Week" song:
Lehrer: I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings and Ihatepeople like that!
His inflections do make it clear that he's lampshadeing the trope, though.
For that matter, the whole joke of the song is based around the idea that a country with all the racial problems of America would set aside a week for brotherhood and tolerance — as the song says, "Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!"
Or indeed, as he notes in the other part of the opening monologue: "This year, on the first day of the week Malcolm X was killed, which should give you an idea of how effective the whole thing is."
Stan Freberg did the same joke in "Take An Indian To Lunch" from The United States of America, Part 1:
Let's give in and all do the brotherhood bit Just make sure we don't make a habit of it Take an Indian to dine this week Show him we don't drawn the line this week We know ev'ryone can't be As American as we (After all, we came over on the Mayflower!)
Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, "Thou Shalt Always Kill":
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music. Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music. Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music. Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.
Korn's "Y'All Want A Single" is a Take That against the music industry. The music video is filled with protesting captions ("One Corporation Owns The 5 Major Video Channels In The U.S./ Is That OK?"; "Hit Songs On TOP 40 Are Often REPEATED Over 100 Times A Week", )... two of which resemble the song itself("90% Of All Songs Get To "The Hook" Within 20 Seconds./ 98% Of All # 1 Singles Are Less Than 3 Minutes and 30 Seconds Long."- the song is 3:17, and hits the hook at 0:17...), and the following one makes an... appropriate comment ("Does This Seem Like A Formula To You?"). Whether it's serious or humorous, it's up to you.
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
Another example from him is "Achy Breaky Song", which uses the same tune as the song it's complaining about.
Monty Python's song "Never Be Rude to an Arab" starts off advising the listener to be racially tolerant, but informs you which races you should be tolerant to using racially abusive slurs.
In original version of Morning Musume's Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari Takahashi Ai denies the claim that she still has her strong Fukui accent. She does so in Fukui-ben.
In one verse of Ben Folds Five's "Uncle Walter", the title character gives "a 50 minute lecture" about the dangers of smoking marijuana with "tobacco juice rolling off his chin".
In ALL CAPS BAND's song "Slushie in the Face", Luke sings that "cool kids don't sing."
Mclusky's "Fuck This Band":
Fuck this band
'Cause they swear too much
It's an obvious ploy
And irresponsible
Barry Cryer and Ronnie Golden's "Peace and Quiet": a hymn to the joys of calm and silence, and decrying the noise of the modern world. Which gets steadily louder, and louder, and LOUDER...
Bob Dylan winkingly sings "you're sick of all this repetition" in the middle of the very repetitiously-structured "Queen Jane Approximately"
Gogol Bordello's "Illumination" features the line "Of course there is no us and them / but them they do not think the same..."
Jesus He Knows Me by Genesis is about an unscrupulous televangelist. The hypocrisy is even more obvious in the video.
I believe in the family with my ever loving wife beside me
but she don't know about my girlfriend or the man I met last night
...
Won't find me practising what I'm preaching, won't find me making no sacrifice
But I can get you a pocketful of miracles, if you promise to be good, try to be nice
God will take good care of you, just do as I say, don't do as I do
A meta example could be those artists who insist that the authorities crack down on piracy so nobody steals their songs about being a wild outlaw who has no time for the police and sticks it to the man.
In "The Return of Sathington Willoughby" by Primus, there's a line about how "Paranoia is a disease unto itself." This is immediately followed up with a warning that "The person standing next to you may not be who they appear to be, so take precaution."
Tool's "Hooker with a Penis":
I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie T, nipple rings, new tattoos
That claimed that he was OGT,
back from '92, the first EP.
And in between sips of Coke he told me
That he thought we were selling out
Laying down, sucking up to the man.
Knorkator's "Kinderlied" (children song) is about the exploitation of the children of celebrities. It's sung by the song writers young son. Played for laughs by making their fathers sound like washed up musicians who have lost all their dignity and not yet realized that nobody cares for them anymore.
The Green Bay Packers fan-song "Da Bears Still Suck" makes fun of the Chicago Bears for (among other things), having only won a single Super Bowl, This despite the fact that at the time the song was recorded, the Packers themselves had only a single Vince Lombardi trophy.
Pointy-Haired Boss: (handing back a paper to Alice) Thanks, hun. Alice: Hon!? YOU SEXIST # @$! I SHALL BURN DOWN YOUR VILLAGE AND MAKE SLAVES OF YOUR CHILDREN! PHB: It's short for 'Attila the Hun'. Everyone calls you that. Alice: That seems a bit harsh.
Also, in yet another Dilbert strip, PHB is reading the newspaper comics section and remarks, "Hee hee! Look at the hair on that guy!"
For bonus points, it's implied he's reading Dilbert itself.
About 2/3rds of the punchlines in For Better Or For Worse use this, by way of demonstrating how (theoretically) adorably flawed the characters are. Happens a lot to Cathy, too.
Occurs a number of times in Calvin And Hobbes. In one example, Calvin rants for three panels about people who complain too much. Hobbes replies "Maybe they're not very self-aware", to which Calvin replies "Boy, that's another thing that gets on my nerves!".
Another example is when they discuss Calvin's Saturday morning habits. Then Hobbes ask to Calvin if he doesn't fear that so much violence (in TV) desensitizes him to which Calvin replies something like "Nah, I'd like to shoot the idiots who think this stuff affects me".
Yet another, in one strip Calvin relates to Hobbes how his grandfather hates comics these days because they're just talking heads... while their characters don't change a bit the whole strip.
Still another (Watterson loved this gag):
Calvin: You know why birds don't write their memoirs? Because birds don't lead epic lives, that's why! Who'd want to read what a bird does? Nobody, that's who!
Calvin: This is changing the subject, but have you ever noticed how somebody can say something totally loony and not be aware of it? What are you supposed to do, just let it slide??
Hobbes: Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself.
Calvin: I say just punch 'im then and there!
There's another incident that twists this trope slightly. Calvin is arguing with his parents about having to sit at the dinner table instead of eating in front of the TV. His father says that this is the one time where all distractions can be put aside and they can just enjoy each other's company...right before the phone rings and the mom leaves to talk. Calvin sort of lampshades this trope by saying, "Go on, Dad. I believe you were saying something funny."
In Garfield, when Garfield watches TV: " Only an idiot would watch a show this bad. (switches channel) It was a rerun anyway."
A similar 1979 strip has Garfield slapping Jon - hard - to force him to change the channel because Garfield doesn't like violence on TV.
In another strip, Garfield kicks Jon. Jon attempts to get his own back by spraying Garfield with a hose, but Garfield appreciated it because it was a hot day. Jon then kicks Garfield back....so Garfield ties Jon up violently with the hose.
The old strip They'll Do It Every Time was all about lampshading everyday hypocrisy. A typical strip, for example, might show a parent admonishing a child not to speak at the table in the first panel, then show the same parent loudly holding forth among other adults at a dinner party in the second panel.
The Family Circus had one strip with the mum admonishing Billy "I've told you a million times not to exaggerate".
Radio
Digger, a caller on the Australian football radio show The Coodabeen Champions, had the Catch Phrase "I never complain about umpires, but...", before immediately launching into a rant about how the umpires had "crucified" his team.
In one episode of Absolute Power, Sandy, having just done a marketing course, explained to Charles and Martin about fitting people into different demographics. Charles, for instance, was the highbrow sort who needed to flaunt his intelligence by using foreign phrases, whereas Martin was more a middlebrow type who hated making decisions and needed constant reassurance. Their reactions:
Charles: Au contraire! Martin: I'm not like that at all. Am I? Charles?
Religion
The Bible - Numbers 12:3 goes, Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. And who wrote Numbers? That's right. (Justified, in that the Biblical concept of humility is attributing all success to God rather than your own abilities.)
Double Justified, given how resistant he was to being a prophet and leader multiple times (which gave him vast power), and also the power he initially lost as part of the life he had in the ruling family, to then be a serf, it actually fit his history. If nothing else, 40 years of migration, in a desert, with ungrateful people, all totally depending on God, and knowing you'll die before even reaching your goal after all that, will humble someone a bit.
The parable of the pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18 is a straight example of this trope. The pharisee loudly praises himself for not being like that filthy tax collector over there while the tax collector doesn't even dare to lift his eyes to heaven and simply prays, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
Theatre
In Gilbert and Sullivan's Trial By Jury, the Usher instructs the Jury on the "stern judicial frame of mind" necessary for conducting an impartial trial:
Oh, listen to the plaintiff's case: Observe the features of her face - The broken-hearted bride. Condole with her distress of mind: From bias free of every kind This trial must be tried! ... And when amid the plaintiff's shrieks The ruffianly defendant speaks Upon the other side; What he may say you needn't mind- From bias free of every kind This trial must be tried!
For that matter, the Learned Judge declares himself "ready to try this breach of promise of marriage" immediately after gloating that he owed his successful career to committing a breach of promise of marriage.
NO SOUND AT ALL! WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD! A FLY'S FOOTFALL WOULD BE DISTINCTLY HEARD!
And then there's King Gama in Princess Ida;
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist, all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct. To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes; And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise; I love my fellow creatures, I do all the good I can ; Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why!
The bigoted Senator Rawkins in Finian's Rainbow grumbles that his family has had trouble with immigrants ever since they came to America, and also says that he's been so busy defending the United States Constitution that he hasn't the time to read it.
In Romeo and Juliet, when Romeo offers the Nurse money for being a go-between, her line is "Nay, sir; not a penny." Many stagings have her take the proffered money as she says this.
Speaking of Shakespeare, the tragedy Hamlet gives us the famous line "Brevity is the soul of wit" which is spoken by Polonius... as he rambles on and on and on just to hear himself talk.
In fact, Polonius's entire speech is an example of this trope, with virtually every bit of fatherly advice being something he himself fails at. Hamlet, of course, calls him on this multiple times in his bizarre doubletalk.
In The Merchant Of Venice, this is a running gag, with Launcelot Gobbo saying things like "To be brief", "Tears exhibit my tongue", and "I have ne'er a tongue in my head"...only to go off on an extended ramble each time. Solanio is also guilty, following the common Shakespeare gag of failing to get to the point:
Solanio: But it is true, without any slips of prolixity, or crossing the plain highway of talk, that the good Antonio, the honest Antonio—oh, that I had a word good enough to keep his name company...
This is the trope on which run most of Moličre's plays, so much so that "Tartuffe" has become another word for "hypocrite" in French.
Khelgar Ironfist: Prejudiced? I'm not prejudiced! By the Nine Hells, I even travel with a back-stabbing tiefling of all things, and you know how her kind are!
On the Super Smash Bros. Brawl website, Sakurai posted how he would not post shots of female characters' underpants. Then on the Japanese screenshots list, there's a picture of Peach's dress falling over her head, her panties in clear view. (of course, that was probably the localizer talking, but it's still funny)
While most likely a developer oversight, when you are captured in Knights Of The Old Republic, you can lie and say you don't care about Carth/Bastila during a torture session but the torturer will claim it is an obvious farce because you traveled half way across the galaxy with them. Considering he was the mentor of one of the people he is torturing...
OWI said in the manual that they did a thorough investigation of Sobe's history of human rights and such before "proudly" advertising for them in-game.
Kingdom Of Loathing example: In the "South of the Border" zone, one of the encounters is a cock-fight. You can bet on the favorite, bet on the other one, or walk away. If you choose to walk away, you get this text:
This flagrant display of cruelty to living creatures disgusts you. You decide to head back to the Icy Peak and eviscerate some more Yetis.
In Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Kefka dismisses Sephiroth as "just another sadist with a god complex. Like THAT's anything special!" Being the story's Meta Guy as well as an honorary "sadist with god complex" himself, Kefka seems fully aware of (and amused by) this hypocrisy.
Or maybe he's proud of his condition and just calling Sephiroth a lame copycat of him.
Just like pretty much every old-school FF gamer has done for years before Dissidia came out. And it would be completely in character for Kefka to come out with a line like that because of the fact that it makes you do a double take and marvel at his chutzpah.
Should be noted that the guy he makes the comment to is the Emperor, who was doing that years before Sephiroth or Kefka.
There are other instances of this within the series, too. For instance, in the first game, Quistis is the ingame tutor for equippable items, and stresses its importance. When you realise that her origin game doesn't make use of equipment outside of weapon upgrades...
In BioShock 2's Multiplayer mode, noticeably overweight bourbon magnate Buck Raleigh sometimes has this to say while researching a fallen enemy: "Gotta be fit to survive down here, friend!"
A cute example of this trope can be found in Professor Layton and the Unwound Future. Both Layton's apprentice Luke and his adopted daughter Flora strongly dislike being away from him; Luke feels it's his duty to always watch Layton's back, while Flora has separation anxiety. At one point in the game, Layton disappears for a brief period.
Luke: I hope we find the Professor soon...
Flora: Poor thing! You're just lost without him, aren't you, Luke?
Signpost: Preserve our beautiful scenery! Please refrain from posting signs.
Edge from Rival Schools claims that in order to develop the kind of speed he possesses, it is necessary to run 10km every morning. However, he admits that he himself does not practice running at all.
Krogan 2: Damned turians. We should kill the lot of them.
"You humans are all racist!"
Ken: We can't complain. I just wish it didn't take so long to recalibrate the FDA couplings.
Gabby: Kenneth, you're complaining.
Ken: I won't bore you with the tech, but there's an array of attenuators built into the ship's primary backup systems -
Gabby: Kenneth, you're boring the Commander with tech.
BioWare put another hypocritical gem in Dragon Age II: Anders, who is fanatically devoted to freedom for mages, says of the Qunari: "Qunari give me the creeps. How could anyone be that fanatically devoted to an abstract ideal?"
There's an instance of this that's fairly easy to miss, early on in Apollo Justice. The defendant in the first trial remarks " As I expected. Your eyes and ears are as sharp as your hair." to Apollo... but, if you recall, the defendant is Phoenix, who's rather legendary in the court for having spiky hair.
He probably meant it as a compliment, given how proud he was of his own hair.
Franziska: Listen, Phoenix Wright! It's impertinent to call people by their full name!
Phoenix: I was only copying you.
In the Portal series, GLaDOS often tells you that you're adopted and fat. Once Wheatley performs his Face Heel Turn in the second game, he says the same thing, but GLaDOS responds with this:
GLaDOS: What, exactly, is wrong with being adopted?
Wheatley: W-what's wrong with being adopted? Ummm... lack of parents—
GLaDOS: (Whispering) For the record, you are adopted and that's terrible. Just work with me. (Normal voice) Also, look at her, you moron, she's not fat.
When you reunite with G La Do S she calls you a monster for killing her, even though she's the same silicon sadist who tried to kill YOU in the first game.
In Ultima VII, you have to determine who is the most humble person in New Magicinia (which has humility as its Hat) in order to receive the Rune of Humility. Practically everyone will boast about their humility and list the luxuries they've given up and the lowly and humble tasks they've taken up, to prove how exceptionally humble they are. The one exception is the fisherman, who doesn't care about it but is fairly sure he's not particularily humble. You can probably work out the rest.
Comic Book Guy: Videogames, what a waste of money. Now to go online and bid $1,000 on Itchy & Scratchy corn-cob holders! A terrific, terrific expense.
Web Animation
Strong Bad of Homestar Runner is a Grammar Nazi... which doesn't stop the fact that his grammar and spelling isn't perfect either. He has also said that he "doesn't wear underwear"... which has been proven wrong numerous times.
This strip of Insecticomics has the introduction of White Chromia. A bit later, Override muses that she wishes White Chromia would have a little more dignity, just before... well, yeah.
A couple times in Sluggy Freelance it's been pointed out that, while Riff is quick to attack Aylee, Sam, and Gwynn for being possible dangers to humanity, his own Mad Scientist experiments probably have a better chance of annihilating the human race than anything. As shown in this strip:
Riff: I hope Gwynn learned "Gwynn shouldn't mess with powers beyond her control!" (the device in his hands starts beeping) Uh-oh. You guys might want to jump up and run away, there may not be time to get a safe distance from the radioactive ... (the beeping dies down) ... never mind, it fixed itself!
Kiki the utterly scatterbrained ferret, whose specialty is Comically Missing the Point, sometimes (though rarely, because she tends to be too nice) voices the opinion that other characters, including resident schemers Dr. Schlock and Bun-bun, are "not very smart" or "get confused easily".
One Schlock Mercenary strip is the punchline to an arc-within-an-arc where Schlock, intending to blackmail the clowns at a circus where he's on security detail to get them to cut him in on their illicit brewery, discovers that his boss has already done so (since Schlock outed them several strips prior). To quote, "I'd fire you for it, but I'm too drunk to pronounce hippo-whatever."
Also, a conversation with a genetically engineered elephant complaining about not fitting in with humans or elephants falls into this when a character whose main feature is his gigantic nose walks by:
Corporal Chisulo: I get so tired of jeers like 'Hey, fatso' or 'Remember me?' or 'Check out the nose on that guy.'
And The Rant in a later strip talks, at length, about how you shouldn't judge someone on how they feel about things, but on how they act, before concluding "and if you feel differently you’re a jerk and I hate you."
"We were named by scientists, not writers or cartoonists."
Living With Insanity had an arc where Alice had to deal with customers who were rude, overly demanding and blamed her for things she couldn't control. When David takes her to a cafe after work, she does this.
Kat sneered at the "paranormal society" in her college, due to the period when they dressed in Ghostbusters outfits. She, of course, isn't like this... just click the next comic.
At the end of the "Love and Space" arc in The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!, Voluptua announces she will clear Galatea of all the charges against her if Bob can just get her to shut up. Zippobic chuckles ruefully in the background, as his main problem with Voluptua is her endless speechmaking.
In A Miracle of Science, one of the background characters here says "no one who is in favor of eugenics should be allowed to reproduce".
There are a few examples in Our Little Adventure, but the one that stands out the most is when Angelika complains about being fireblasted and then countering with a magic attack that's virtually unavoidable.
Amazing Super Powers had a lot of fun of this here (for those who didn't see Dinosaur Comics yet, that's where the images and long-winded rant style came there).
In Psycho Ex-Girlfriend, pretty much every claim Tom makes about the trope is contradicted by the events that happen around him.
Tales of MU uses this, both to underscore the Unreliable Narrator (who denies any interest in her classmates' chests and then mentions being so shocked that she looks up and meets their eyes) and to poke fun at the informal writing style, as when Mackenzie mentions her campaign letter containing barely any ellipses.
Dr. Horrible does this in Sarcasm Mode (used as an example on the trope's page): "Wow. Sarcasm. That's original!" He seems to figure it out a second later, judging by the pause and the look on his face after.
A stealthy one in Commentary! The Musical, the solo song "Better (Than Neil)" has this line: "At least I'm not prone to singing alone." Granted, until his backup singers started in the second verse...
Though actually the line was referring to the recent activity on the screen: Neil singing the first verse of "A Man's Gotta Do", by himself.
The Angry Video Game Nerd, on his Super Mecha Death Christ: "FUCKEEEERRRSS!!! FUCKEEERRRSSS!!!" When the Nerd utters the words "Holy shit," SMDC turns on him with "WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!!!" Then again, he may have been taking offense to blasphemy rather than vulgarity.
In his reviews of the Friday the 13th films, he comments on Corey Feldman's introduction with "Who wears a costume to play video games?" Cut to a clip from his review of Batman games dressed as Batman.
Seems it may become a regular thing: while taking us on a tour of his game collection, he's outraged at the condition of some of the used games he's picked up, saying that he always takes care of his games. Cut to him drilling a hole through one in the Dick Tracy review.
AVGN: ...because I'm going to do this legit. Now where's that extra lives code? (pulls out Nintendo Power's Top Secret Player's Guide)
The Guild has a more subtle example. Bladezz's sister asks if any of his internet friends are pervs, and Zaboo, who takes Stalker with a Crush to it's creepiest/most hilarious extreme, immediately replies "No, no one's a perv." with a completely straight face.
Dr Insano also complains about the protagonist of The Dungeonmaster using his computer to fire lasers, saying how ridiculous it would be for him to just start shooting lightning out of his hands shouting SCIENCE!. Yeah, about that...
In one of Spoony's Vlogs, he claims that Portal references are played out only to make one in his very next video. He gave a Hypocrisy Nod in the latter's commentary, though.
Mr Deity: "Who uses "an" with a H-word? That's an horrendous idea."
In The Nostalgia Critic review of Captain N he makes a joke about the creators leaving out a background in a few scenes, saying "I mean seriously, what moron would just have a Plain. White. Background. The whole entire time? [Beat]. He'd be a fucking idiot." No points for guessing what the background of his show is.
It's a plain yellowish background.
Later on he reviews a Nickelodeon sketch with the basis of its humor based entirely on random shouting. NC promptly screams that whoever does that ought to be shot (Gets shot), unshot (Gets unshot), and given a bag of money (Sack of money appears on his lap).
How about some lounge music?
During one of the infamous padding sequences in Star Trek The Motionless Picture, NC comments that this is just "watching a bunch of footage and seeing someone comment on it" followed with "Who would want to watch that?"
Chester A. Bum proved that he would never let out the F-bombs or S-smokes and that he was a Mormon in his AVGN vs NC review. Starting from his Iron Man 2 review, however...
Yahtzee did this at the end of his review of Silent Hill: Homecoming. His rant was even copied and used after the credits of his videos for quite a while as advertising.
Fans are clingy complaining dipshits who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill tremulous voices the happier you'll be. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation T-shirt?
Another example of his blatant hypocrisy: In his review of Duke Nukem Forever, he calls out companies who "get paid to do a job [they] didn't do," and says that they deserve to get sued. As he is going through this rant, he shows that his contract with the Escapist is to "Review Actual Games That Exist," and he himself is breaking that contract.
Yahtzee uses this throughout his entire series, such as calling out "self-important bearded tosser who read too much into things" and then admitting that he's the biggest one of them all.
His review of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune focuses largely on the game's Unfortunate Implications. Then during the closing credits he points out, "Note the irony in decrying racism while drawing Asians with slitty eyes".
Screw Attack: The Top 10 Zombie Games video has Craig complaining about a continuity error, Then the next game on the list is ranked upside down # 3 with a # 1 voiceover.
Craig put Stryker on the Top 10 Worst Mortal Kombat Characters list, with one of the reasons being that anyone who wears a backwards cap looks stupid.
One Demotivational Poster had a picture of a stick figure saying "Demotivators that say exactly what the picture says aren't funny". The poster said "DEMOTIVATORS THAT SAY EXACTLY WHAT THE PICTURE SAYS: They aren't funny".
One bit of porn in Kristen's Archive starts out decrying the unrealistic fantasies in the other porns: It makes me sick to my stomach when I read the stories in this archive, so I wrote one myself.
Nay! For it is too good not to show, but too nude to let me do it without fear nor shame!
The Gaming Pixie wraps up her (already fanservice-y) Metroid review by ranting on the best ending's "gratuitous fanservice" for putting Samus in a bikini. Guess what she ends up wearing?
Todd in the Shadows on Lady Gaga: "What kind of person makes some creepy weird video of themselves where you can't see their eyes? That's just crazy!" (Hiding his face is pretty much Todd's entire gimmick.)
Todd has been stalking Obscurus Lupa, despite her continued (and vocal) objections. However, his response to The Nostalgia Chick repeatedly asking him for a date?
"Some people just can't take a Goddamn hint!"
In an episode of Epic Meal Time, Harley calls the audience perverts for wanting to watch a little girl eat the Massive Meat Log—then the reverse angle shows him and all of his friends doing the exact same thing.
In Suburban Knights, the Big Bad is completely against technology. Saying you are okay with the 21st century in front of his face is generally a good way to die. However, he does own a cellphone. He refuses to believe he's a hypocrite.
In episode six of The Joker Blogs, Scarecrow and Joker sit next to each other in the Arkham cafeteria for a while before a ticked-off Joker orders "Mr. Potato Head" to leave.
Joker: (muttering after him) Freak.
Derek the Bard complains about nerds being around in his Con Bravo video.
This Downfall parody on Youtube has Hitler ranting about how unoriginal it is to make Downfall parodies.
Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series does this during the 3D movie. Whenever he encounters a new character, Yuse immediately asks "What's up with your hair", despite having hair that is arguably even more ridiculous than Yugi's.
Kemo: My hair is inviting you to enter the castle!
Keith: Don't mind if I do! [thinking] Man, that guy sure likes talking about his hair.
Kemo: [thinking] Man, that guy sure likes talking about America.
Western Animation
Butch Hartman and his fellow creators of The Fairly OddParents set the standard of this trope for kids' cartoons. Invariably, it found its way into Danny Phantom.
Danny Phantom could even be considered a meta-example; significant amounts of humor come from the use of outdated slang by adults, making the unintended examples of Totally Radical an example of this trope.
Also, a lot of its humor came from making fun of television cliches... and then they added Poof. Those twits.
The Fairly OddParents had a (probably) unintentional example during the "Channel Chasers" episode in which they had a scene mocking The Simpsons also giving it a not-so subtle Take That with "Is every adult in this show an idiot?". After all we all know how intelligent the adults can be in this show.
Yin Yang Yo retains crewmembers who worked on both shows, and naturally the trope.
TUFF Puppy, which was created by Butch Hartman, uses this as well. Particularly in the episode "Doomies" in a scene involving the Chameleon. As he's disguised as a parking meter to steal all of petropolis' money, a bear puts in a subway token instead of change. Chameleon's response? "Hey! That was a subway token! Honestly, this town is filled with crooks."
One recent Nicktoon that makes use of it is El Tigre. Quite frankly, finding a cartoon or live-action show on Nickelodeon that doesn't use it on a frequent basis is a challenge in itself.
Same goes for the preppy, sitcom-saturated Disney Channel.
Fully described and illustrated via live-action footage by Freakazoid.
Daria: This situation is most relevant in the episode "Lucky Strike", in where Ms. Li accuses Daria of telling her Mom on her and forcing the Principal on firing one of the substitute teachers in the legal fashion. Ms. Li did make Daria into the 2nd substitute teacher replacement by the way.
Ms. Li: "If someone asked me to teach a class, I'd be honored. Besides, we wouldn't be in this fix if it weren't for your mother.
Daria: "Yeah, hire one pedophile and she gets all bent out of shape. Besides, I'm not thinking of me. I'm thinking of the children".
Used extensively on Drawn Together, in conjunction with its successive amounts of racial jabs. For example, after foiling the Board of Education's evil plan to make black people fail their SAT tests by producing grape-flavored, mentholated pencils (itself a parody of a well-known conspiracy theory), Foxxy proclaims that there is no way anyone would be stupid enough to eat such a thing. However, after taking a whiff, she decides to help herself to a little nibble. Next thing you know, she has her mouth stuffed with a box load of the damn things.
Commonly used (along with every other broad humour trope known to man) in Looney Tunes:
In the early Bugs Bunny short "Elmer's Pet Rabbit", Bugs Bunny says he'll chomp starve before he chomp chomp eats the carrots and chomp lettuce that's chomp chomp chomp been put out for him. "You'll chomp be sorry then!"
In the short "A Fractured Leghorn", Foghorn Leghorn, having been told to shut up by another character, agrees to do so, adding that "I'm not one that has to keep talkin'...some fellas just have to keep their mouths flappin', but not me..." He continues holding forth in this manner, even stopping the picture from irising out in the process.
In "Bugs and Thugs", Bugs does the same thing as a stalling tactic, prompting Rocky to snap, "Shut up shuttin' up!" (Also used in the Bugs-Yosemite Sam cartoon "The Fair-Haired Hare".)
"A Pest in the House" has Daffy Duck as a hotel bellhop who repeatedly awakens a tired, ill-tempered guest, leading to said guest repeatedly coming down to the lobby and punching desk clerk Elmer Fudd in the nose. At one point Elmer comes up to the man's room himself to muffle a whistling heat register, and Daffy gives him a dressing-down that gets louder and louder, as the sleeping man begins to stir and Elmer begs him to be quiet:
Daffy: So! A fine kettle of fish! Here I work myself down to the skin and bones trying to keep this guy asleep, and what do you do? Blow whistles! Just when I've got things so quiet you could hear a pin drop, you bust in here and bust out with a whistle, and you snafu the whole works! How in the name of all that's reasonable do you expect a guy to get his slumber, when a goof like you goes around making noises like a one-man Fourth of July celebration? He needs PEACE, and QUI-YEEETT! IT'S POSITIVELY OUTRAGEOUS!!!
The three Pepe Le Pew cartoons that end with Pepe being chased by the painted cat ("For Scentimental Reasons," "Little Beau pepe," and "Really Scent"). The first two actually have lines of Pepe begging the painted cat to control herself.
Tex Avery's short "Rock-a-Bye Bear" has a hibernating bear repeatedly yelling at Spike the dog to be quiet, in the loudest voice imaginable.
The Simpsons and Futurama alike have used this more times that it's possible to keep track. Just expect it to be used thrice per episode on average.
Fry (when told alcohol makes people stupid): "No I'm... doesn't."
Robot Devil: "Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!"
Also
Fry: "Is he genetically engineered?"
Professor: "Oh please, that's preposterous science fiction mumbo jumbo. Guenther's intelligence actually lies in his electronium hat, which harnesses the power of sunspots to produce cognitive radiation."
And of course...
"I am The Man With No Name...Zapp Brannigan at your service!"
Lampshaded in The Simpsons episode "Homer The Vigilante": the captured Gentleman Thief makes a charming speech and the townspeople want to release him, however...
Wiggum: Oh, sorry folks. [sarcastic] Gee, I really hate to spoil this little love-in, but Mr. Malloy broke the law. And when you break the law, you gotta go to jail.
Quimby: Uh, that reminds me, er, here's your monthly kickback.
Wiggum: [Utterly dumbfounded] You just...you couldn't have picked a worse time!
Also, in "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show", Comic Book Guy makes a big deal about not cutting in line, and there is to be only one signed photo per customer. He then pushes his way to the front of the line, and hands over four photos to be signed.
In another episode when Barney decides to give up alcohol, Moe suggest that Homer be the new Barney, and Homer says something along the lines of "When will you guys ever learn I am nothing like Barney (lets out a belch exactly like Barney's signature belch)." (Of course they're alike, since they're both voiced by Dan Castellaneta.)
TV: We now return to "The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones."
Bart: Uh oh. I smell another cheap cartoon crossover. (Jay Sherman from The Critic enters)
"Kamp Krusty"
Homer: Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
"Lisa's Sax"
Homer: Bart, son? You want to play catch?
Bart: No.
Homer: When a boy doesn't want to play catch with his old man, something is seriously wrong!
Abe: I'll play catch with you, son!
Homer: Get the hell out!
Abe: I'm gone.
"$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)":
Bum: Got any spare change, man?
Abe: Yes! And you're not getting a penny of it! (continues walking) Everybody wants something for nothing. (walks into a Social Security office) I'm old! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
An early episode has Homer complaining about the government combining Washington and Lincoln's birthdays into one holiday and ripping off the working man. Marge tells him he's late for work and he shrugs "So? Someone'll punch in for me."
Homer again: "... and I'm not easily impressed - wow! A BLUE CAR!"
In the episode where Homer boxes the ring is set up at Moe's and Barney delivers this little beauty. "You won't get ME in the ring! Boxing causes brain damage." (Starts chugging on can of varnish.)
A similar gag, occurring while the family are on vacation, has Homer denying that beer kills brain cells - and then saying: "Now, let's go back to that...building-thingy...where our beds and TV...is."
In one episode Homer berates Bart for being immature when suddenly he hears the ice cream truck and he pushes through a crowd of kids shouting "Me first, me first!".
South Park does this a few times. In the episode "The Passion of the Jew", members of Kyle's synagogue are protesting Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. "It turns Jews into stereotypes," says a guy with an extremely stereotyped "Jewish" accent.
In the "Casa Bonita" episode:
Kyle: You're not my friend. All you ever do is call me names and rip on me for being Jewish.
Cartman: Kyle... when have I ever ripped on you for being a Jew. *cue overly longClip Show montage* Okay except maybe for that one time...
In "A Very Crappy Christmas", they're watching a Charlie Brown special and Stan complains about the style: "How come everyone in cartoons has such big heads?"
Gerald and Sheila are extremely tolerant of gay people, except when they think their son is turning gay.
In the movie Cartman makes a comment about how the animation in Terrance in Phillip is crappy. Then it shows the boys "walking" (In the typical animation of South Park, where they bounce up and down) away.
Randy Marsh provides several examples such as telling his father he won't treat him like a child and then telling him he needs to apologize to Mr. Police Officer and complaining about the economy failing due to people spending their money on luxuries while using an expensive Margaritaville-brand mixer.
In "The Tale of Scrotie Mcboogerballs the boys write a disgusting story but claim that Butters wrote it so they don't get blamed. When people like the story they tell Butters that he shouldn't take credit for something he didn't write while he thinks he did indeed write it.
Butters: Let me tell you somethin', fellers! You always take advantage of me, and after reading The Catcher in the Rye, I've learned you're nothing but phonies! I'm not letting you trick me this time! So the four of you can just suck on my wiener!
Cartman: [After Butters walks away] That inconsiderate jerk!
The Boondocks makes frequent use of it, right from the very first episode:
Granddad: Y'all need to start appreciating your granddaddy! I went and spent your inheritance on this beautiful house in this neighborhood! And all I ask you to do is act like you got some class...
Riley: Ay, what's "class"?
Huey: It means don't act like niggas.
Granddad: See! That's what I'm talking about right there! We don't use the n-word in this house!
Huey: Granddad, you said the word nigga 47 times yesterday. I counted.
Granddad: Nigga, hush!
In Metalocalypse, Dethklok, unsatisfied with the sound of their latest song, complain to their producer, saying that, as musicians, they have very sensitive hearing. As they explain this to him, it becomes apparent that they can't quite distinguish each other's voices from one another.
From the opening scene of the first episode: Their chef offers them a bottle of wine, to which Nathan replies "We never drink before a show. NEVER." Except the other 4 are already drinking, and of course Nathan joins them.
The members of Dethklok all agree "Pickles really has a [drinking] problem." True, but this is said while each of them is nursing like twenty beers.
One example could be found in the Superjail! episode: "Cold-Blooded". The Warden and Jared investigate a serial killer's grip on the inmates, the Warden sends an unwilling Jared undercover as an inmate. When Jared come face to with the serial killer, he slips on the floor and impales his head into his own knife. After Jared confirms that he's dead, the Warden then angrily accuses Jared of killing him personally. Then the Warden abandons the mission altogether.
Used and somewhat lampshaded in Pinky And The Brain. The Brain has just discovered Pinky's vast collection of Cher memorabilia...
Brain: Pinky, do you know what "obsession" is? Pinky: A Calvin Klein marketing scam? Brain: Well, yes. However, I am referring to an unnatural fixation with a singular goal, something we have no time for in our quest to take over the world! Pinky: Oh, I love it when you're ironic, Brain!
Mojo Jojo in The Powerpuff Girls episode "Los Dos Mojos": "I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not constantly reiterate, repeat, recite the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To the point..."
Hypocritical humor is one of its staple comedies. Regular offenders include the Mayor, the Professor, and the Girls themselves.
...Except for Toph. The entire first half of the episode is clearly setting up a Hypocritical Humor moment for her, since she found everyone else's (fairly insulting) portrayals to be spot on and was laughing her ass off at everyone's reactions to the actors' performances- except that when the actor who plays her turns out to be a huge, well-muscled guy, she declares that she couldn't have cast it better herself.
There's also a scene in the episode "City of Walls and Secrets" where Toph criticizes the rest of the Gaang's lack of proper manners while picking her nose and belching. When called on it, she points out she was taught high class manners and chooses to ignore them.
In "The Waterbending Scroll" when the pirates' ship gets stolen by the Gaang, Zuko finds it hilarious. When the pirates steal his ship in turn, he is far less amused.
Transformers Animated: Megatron broadcasts a speech to all Decepticons, talking about unity and freeing themselves from Autobot tyranny — while blasting Starscream repeatedly (admittedly, Starscream was trying to kill him).
In one instant of the G1 cartoon series, Megatron allies the Decepticons with another villainous group, who decide to betray them later on. Cue Starscream yelling 'TRAITORS!!' Cue immense laughter at the irony.
Subverted in The Mighty B!; the first part of a segment is Bessie's dog, Happy, getting treatment from a vet for a skinned knee. After the usual kicking and screaming, they head next door for the doctor to treat Bessie's skinned knee. Turns out that she's just in time for a booster shot. After fighting much worse than her dog did, she finally gets the shot while trying to escape through the sink. After the shot, she launches into the usual "See Happy, that didn't hurt a — okay, yeah, that hurts..."
You can find Hypocritical Humor right in the opening song of Family Guy. As any longtime viewer of the show knows, it has all of the things they're complaining about ("violence in movies and sex on TV") and none of the things they're praising ("good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely").
In "Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air", Cleveland criticises the Scrubs cutaways for being stupid and irrelevant, even though stupid and irrelevant cutaways make up a good amount of any Family Guy episode (which they lampshade a moment later with a cutaway of Hitler juggling fish while on a unicycle).
However, the cutaway later gets worked into the show properly, and Peter points out the subversion, saying "See? We had a plan for that all along."
The first Star Wars parody episode includes Peter as Han Solo/Harrison Ford, saying he's the "only actor whose career wasn't destroyed by this movie." This despite the fact that Carrie Fisher was voicing a recurring character in other episodes.
And who can forget the Thanksgiving episode where Brian asks Ida Quagmire how she's feels about Kevin Swanson's desertion from the army saying "she's the only one who understands what it is truly like. We get this little gem.
Ida: No, Brian, I do not understand Kevin's choice and I do not support it. Brian: Okay, well that's just some dumb drag queen.
In the episode "He's Too Sexy for his Fat", Lois is furious that Peter is going to great lengths to make himself handsome instead of accepting who he is while he pushes Chris away (Chris is trying to lose weight), but Lois quickly gives in to her horny temptations as he stares at Peter's sexy and chiseled ass. Brian calls her out on it, which causes Lois to ask if she is a bad person. Brain simply says that yes she is. This gets dropped quickly when Peter's jerkass levels shoot up and becomes more narcissistic.
In the Justice League Unlimited episode "Flash and Substance", four of Flash's Rogues Gallery meet in a Bad Guy Bar and Mirror Master makes a comment about how they are the hardest men in town... At which point their drink orders are revealed as, respectively, an Arnold Palmer, a Cherry Coke, a decaf soy latte, and a glass of milk (Captain Cold's ulcer had been acting up), turning what would otherwise be a good example of Frothy Mugs of Water into a stellar example of this trope.
In the same episode, Trickster prefaces his plan to kill Flash by saying it's "nothing as stupid as a giant boomerang," a direct jab at Captain Boomerang's just-failed plan. Instead it involves four hundred greased cases of fake dog vomit, and Plan B involves fifty thousand rotten eggs and a chainsaw.
In another episode, Flash and Elongated Man were complaining about not being taken seriously by everyone else. While playing Brawlin' Bots.
The Venture Brothers is made of this trope, usually coming from Dr. Venture or Brock Samson. When Brock ("Super Kill Guy") is feeling down about killing a Mook, the solution: more killing.
Dr. Venture (as his sons interrupt as he is talking with his supposedfather): Boys, Quiet! I'm trying to have a family moment here!
Rusty making clones or zombies provokes Hypocritical Humor from necromancer-in-residence Dr. Orpheus. At one point, he spent half an episode trying to bring Hank and Dean Back from the Dead, then freaked out when Rusty did it by activating their clones.
American Dad makes use of this liberally as with most animated shows.
Stan: There are still a few voters who doubt I'd be a trustworthy leader. So let's lock our alien back in that mechanical teat sucker and make more brain washing potato salad!
Another examples is where Steve and the gang try to get his now morbidly obese neighbor out of bed after his wife died, after the event his friend Barry states "fat people make me sick!"; this is ironic considering he is probably the fattest student in their school.
Another instance, where Stan brings in Whitney Houston to sing Francine's favorite song, having to bribe her with crack: she sings "they can't take away my dignity", and then immediately faceplants trying to grab said crack.
"Do I look like I'm made of money?" Said while Stan is wearing a money suit.
In an episode of Johnny Test, Hugh Test is berating his daughters for having invented something as potentially dangerous as an alchemy machine - while he's gleefully using said machine to turn the cutlery and the contents of his toolbox into gold.
In an episode of Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers a Shape Shifting alien impersonates Dale and the others need to Spot the Imposter. Dale then exposes the alien by showing him his favorite food, upon which the alien forgets everything, loses the disguise, and runs for the food. Upon seeing this, Monty comments: "Disgusting the way some people lose control". This is coming from a character whose Running Gag is being addicted to cheese, which oftentimes gets him and others into trouble ("Mind Your Cheese and Q's" best illustrates this).
This similar scenario also happened on the episode "Chocolate Chips" where Dale smells chocolate and goes into the same cheese-attack style trance that Monty does (with Monty saying the same thing about how he hates it when other people lose control of themselves over food).
Spongebob Squarepants does this all the time, most of the time focusing around Patrick's lack of intelligence.
Patrick: Are you going to listen to a big dummy, or are you going to listen to me?
Another entertaining one involves them getting an invitation from a land dweller but the ink runs. They comment that whoever sent this obviously has no clue about how life under the ocean works. Then they promptly throw the note into a burning fire.
A running gag in Animaniacs is that Dot always makes disparaging comments to her brothers' Hello Nurse routine... when she's every bit as bad as Yakko (maybe worse) when an attractive man walks by.
Popeye once starred in an adaptation of "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves", in which Bluto portrayed the leader of the thieves. At one point, Bluto is snacking on his dinner while Wimpy snatches some chicken from one of his plates. Upon seeing it's missing, Bluto shrieks, "Hey!! There must be thieves around here!"
Roberta: I need to update my Facebook page with these slammin' pictures of me in my new bikini.
Cleveland: Facebook is a joke. You know who is my "friend" on Facebook? Margaret Cho. A woman I have not met, nor wish to ever meet, is somehow a friend of mine. Puh-lease! I also don't need your stupid status updates. "Ooh, Betsy Sherman is exited to watch Heroes!" Go suck an egg, Betsy!
You know what? I need to Twitter that! [Takes out phone] "Go... suck... an egg... Betsy.
An episode of Jimmy Two-Shoes has Lucius telling his son "There's just some things you can't make happen." Immediately afterward he has the mountain outside his window moved to the left, and then orders the destruction of one of the three suns because three is too many.
In the Scooby-Doo movie "Abracadabra Doo" Daphne asks Velma why she doesn't hang out with her sister more often and she replies that she finds her too nerdy and that she over analyzes everything, after she says that she notices a powder on the floor mistaking it for a clue and Daphne replies that its for her feet.
Memorably in an episode of Batman The Animated Series, The Joker dumps a random reporter into the same vat of chemicals that he was dumped in. After that reporter becomes The Creeper, he tracks the Joker down and starts harassing the poor guy, and starts hitting on Harley Quinn like there's no tomorrow. Hypocritical for two reasons. One, the Creeper's one-sided crush is exactly like Harley Quinn's crush on the Joker. Two, eventually, the Joker is on his knees begging Batman to put him in Arkham because, in the Joker's words, "HE'S A LUNATIC!" That's right. The Joker called someone a lunatic.
The latter also happens in the earlier episode "Joker's Favor." When faced with an explosives-wielding Charlie Collins who seems poised to give him an utterly inglorious death, the Joker exclaims "You're crazy!" Charlie replies, "I had a good teacher!"
On King of the Hill, after Hank's been Mistaken for Racist, the church congregation tries to tell Hank that bigotry and intolerance is wrong by singing around a cross on Hank's lawn.
Belle: I have to get home to help my father. LeFou: That crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! [Gaston laughs heartily] Belle: Don't talk about my father that way! Gaston: Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! [hits LeFou on the head]
In the Rugrats episode "Circus Angelicus" Chuckie mentions the reasons why clowns are scary, "They have these big scary glasses, big funny teeth, and big scary red hair that sticks out everywhere", he is describing himself.
In the My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic episode "Lesson Zero", Rarity calls Twilight a "drama queen" when she finds out Twilight is worried about not sending her friendship report to Princess Celestia on time... while lying on a fainting couch Rarity had magically summoned because she forgot the plates for a picnic.
In the Ren and Stimpy episode, "Ren's Toothache", right after Ren's teeth had rotted to non-existence and putrid fumes pouring out from his mouth, four flies start complaining about the god-awfull smell... after they were driven away from eating at Stimpy's litter box earlier!
"There Are Two Kinds of People in the World: those who think the world can be neatly divided into two kinds of people, and those who don't. I'm one of the second kind."
"Watch your fucking language!"
"As a Capricorn, I don't believe in astrology."
Bill Engvall on discipline: "Hey!" *smack* "We do NOT hit!"
Smarmy intellectuals are fond of responding to a phrase using needlessly complex or highbrow wording with "Eschew Obfuscation" which is a needlessly complex and highbrow way of saying "don't use needlessly complex and highbrow wording"
See also How to Write Good for more grammatical examples of this phenomenon.
A few products seen with the phrase "Closed mind: Close your mouth"
The phrase, "Never say never."
"I am generally very nice, but you're just a loser/asshole/bitch."
Generally very nice.
"One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings." - Diogenes
There's an old joke about a woman whose son and daughter got married within a week or two of each other. A few months later, a friend asks her about how her daughter is doing. The mom gushes about her son-in-law, how he cooks for her daughter, gives her lots of gifts, and sends his wife to a spa once a month. The friend then asks how the son's marriage is, and the mother gets a disgusted look on her face and begins going on about how her daughter-in-law doesn't cook, wants lots of gifts, and always wants to go to the spa...
This joke:
A guy says, "I don't smoke, I don't cuss, and I don't drink." Then, a second later, he says, "Fuck, I left my cigarettes down at the bar."
In "Our Dumb World" (an atlas by The Onion), the entry on Italy describes the nation as a place where "...citizens base their opinions on other ethnicities on appearance and stereotypes alone. But then, what more do you expect from a bunch of greasy, filthy womanizers?"
I'm the kindest soul in the world. If I ever find anyone kinder than me, I'll slaughter the motherf*r and will be the kindest one once again.
On LiveJournal's Fanficrants community, it is taken for granted that whenever somebody rants about spelling and grammar, they will inevitably mess up their own somewhere in the rant. Some people consider it inevitable when ranting about the subject anywhere on the Internet.
This phenomenon has its own name: Muphry's law (yep, that's how it's spelled).
Rapidshare is apparently "The anti-waiting company" now, as seen in their ads poking fun at the concept of waiting to download a file due to restrictions they enforce themselves.
Ending a sentence with a preposition, what has the world come to?
Things not to say to a cop who pulls you over for drunk driving:
Banksy is fond of this trope. Obvious examples include "We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves." And his list of people who should be shot- "Fascist thugs, religious fundamentalists, and people who write lists telling you who should be shot."
It's very rare you'll find a parent who does not do this with their children.
One blogger blogged about how the guy who founded Paypal wants to make his own private island. A commenter asked if the blogger was personally offended, and the blogger says he's just tired of rich kids talking about how hard they have it. The commenter asked him if he's mad that the police don't harass the rich guy in question about the noise from his nightclub, like they have with the blogger. The blogger banned him and called him a troll. He did not actually answer to the question.
It's become a widely accepted bit of folklore that someone who says "I'm not racist/sexist/a homophobe/etc., but—" is going to finish the sentence with something racist, sexist, homophobic, or other. Ironically, just saying that part will now have people assume you're going to be exactly what you said you're not, regardless of what one actually says.
There are few people who did not grow up being told to say "please" and "thank you" constantly by their parents, but almost never heard their parents use them.
Any "[insert language] spoken here" sign with a Blind Idiot Translation in the text. For example, the ones in this blog post.
