A Rare Sentence
Due to overwhelming reader response, I have added breasts to the space dinosaur cowboy.This is when odd conditions prompt someone to say something utterly crazy-sounding, and someone else (usually the local Deadpan Snarker) comments that "I doubt that's ever been said before" or "Now there's a sentence that doesn't get used much", or similar. Essentially a Stock Phrase, but hard to name as such since it can be formulated in a ton of different ways. Usually involves It Makes Sense in Context or Makes Just as Much Sense in Context. Contrast: I Would Say If I Could Say, when an ordinary expression is factually inapplicable; and I Need to Go Iron My Dog, in which a flimsy, improvised excuse results in a bizarre sequence of words, but everyone just accepts it. See also My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels, in which mistranslation between languages can lead to this trope.
This was not a statement I was expecting to make today (or ever), but your logic is irrefutable and I am not above admitting my own mistakes.
This was not a statement I was expecting to make today (or ever), but your logic is irrefutable and I am not above admitting my own mistakes.
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- One of Jeff Foxworthy 's "You might be a redneck" jokes involves the rare nonoffensive use of the words "nipple" and "beaver" in the same sentence. note
- George Carlin had a list of "things nobody would ever say."
- They included "Hand me that piano," which actually was used in an episode of The Goon Show. One of his books features a paragraph-long sentence entitled, "No One Ever Wrote This Sentence Before." It starts off: "On the feast of St. Stephen, I was driving my hearse to the wholesale liverwurst outlet when suddenly a hermaphrodite in a piano truck backed out of a crackhouse driveway..."
- He had another bit that utilized this. It started off talking about things you never see, then transitioned into things you never hear. At that point he declared that he would say a sentence that no one before him had ever said. Ever. The sentence? "Right after I put this red hot poker in my ass I'm going to go chop my dick off!" He then moved on to yet more rare sentences, like "Honey, let's sell the children, move to Zanzibar, and begin taking opium rectally."
- From Carlin's abovementioned book: "THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.'”
- From Lewis Black: "If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." The bit is about how crazy he went trying to figure out what specific circumstances would make that sentence make sense. And then you realize that someone who went to an institution of higher learning apparently said something that nonsensical and your eyes close and they find you dead in your bathroom.
- Ray Romano has a routine in which he mentions that when he is driving at night and needs to stay awake, he tries to think up sentences that no one has ever said (followed by a situation in which they would be). Examples include "Give me back my fudge suitcase" and "If hernias were rainbows, I'd be Raymond Burr".
- Brian Regan has a bit about how parents get to say things that people without kids would never get to say. "Buddy, don't try and balance your fruit juice between your chest and the table". Cue hypothetical exchange between two grown adults with the same sentence. "You know, it does seem rather precarious. You know, when I set that on the table, that does seem more solid underneath. Thanks for your help." "You're welcome. Continue with your proposal."
- One issue of Daredevil has a superhero team up against Doc Ock that includes this line:
Spider-Man: White Tiger, Daredevil. Daredevil, White Tiger. And I have to be the first person on the planet who has ever said that out loud.
- Demon Knights #10:
Vandal Savage: Look! It's a pirate sea serpent! That is something I have never shouted before!
- Particularly noticeable as it's Vandal Savage, an immortal man alive since the cavemen walked on earth, saying that.
- From Atomic Robo: The Ghost of Station X:
Tucker: This is such an honor. I wanted to be a robot when I grew up! You were my hero! Hell, you're the reason why I'm a trucker.Robo: That's a sentence I've never heard before.
- Batman Eternal #29:
Batwing: What hit me? Did we... Did we stop Blackfire from resurrecting himself outta hell? Cripes. That's a sentence I never thought I'd say out loud.
- Injustice: Gods Among Us Year Three #5:
Klarion: You want me and my cat to go in there and help the magician, the butler, and the psychopathic clown to save the talking detective monkey?John Constantine: Yes. Do you have a problem with that?Klarion: No. I just wanted to say that sentence out loud. Come on, Teekl.
- Transformers Dark Cybertron has a conversation between two members of the very quirky Lost Light crew and one understandably confused Kup.
Brainstorm: How'd you guys manage to open a portal in my chest? Did you harness the power of bickering?Rodimus: We heard a drinking song coming from Nova Prime's corpse.Kup: Just when ya think there are no new sentences...
- Transformers: More than Meets the Eye gives us this when Chromedome goes to visit Brainstorm:
Chromedome: Hey, Brainstorm, it's— Why is there a giant, naked human in your workshop? And who'd have thought I'd have to ask you that question twice in one lifetime?
Swerve: I guess it's like they say, Ratchet, "Nothing stops a standoff like a stowaway."Ratchet: Who says that? When has anyone ever said that?
- There's a variation later when Swerve tries to coin a new adage.
- Lampshaded by Captain Britain in a classic Alan Moore/Alan Davis sequence. "What do you take me for? Of course I know what I'm getting into. I'm in a parallel universe fighting an alternate version of myself alongside a group of parahuman mercenaries who want me to help the wrongly accused Majestrix of... [Beat] Do you ever get halfway through a sentence and find yourself unable to believe that you're actually saying it?"
- From Calvin and Hobbes: The Series:
- Gensokyo's Heart has Remilia point out the strange thing she just said to Abathur.
Remilia: "I'm not accusing you of anything. You just ate her hair and used it to turn that strange monster of yours into a girl."Remilia: "...That sounds strange when you explain it aloud."
- From Kyon Big Damn Hero, even if the comment on the sentence's strangeness isn't voiced:
Ichiro raised a hand to his face and sighed. "My apologies for their behavior", he said, bowing his head. "Good help is hard to keep from being thrown away in a pointless attack on your ... fiance." What a strange thing to say!
- In Five Score, Divided by Four, a farmer panics violently when it's pointed out that "he's" having transformation issues...
"Jack, it’s not a spider, it's a vagina", my brain confirming that yes, yes that was the strangest sentence I had ever said.
- In Turnabout Storm, the weirdness of Equestria brings some weird sentences snarkingly commented on by Phoenix
Judge: *To Apple Bloom* Maybe you're a... OH! A cutie mark crusader witness testifier!
Phoenix: (Your Honor, how much shame do you have left after saying something like that?)
Trixie: The zebra told us she was making herbal ointments and medicines. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Phoenix: (I've heard it all... a zebra brewing potions is "nothing out of the ordinary"...)
- The Twilight Child: "Oh, that's just mom. She wants to destroy time so it won't be Tuesday." Said by a magical unicorn to a time-lord presently in the form of a pony. The "she" in this sentence is a younger alternate version of the aforementioned unicorn's mother, currently in the grips of temporary Sanity Slippage. Tellingly, there's an awkward pause immediately after that statement.
- In the third book of the Broken Bow series:
- From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer story Halloween Aftermath:
Xander: "I never thought I'd be saying this, but Buffy..."Buffy: "Yeah?"Xander: "You have to sit with your legs further apart or you'll crush your balls."
- In Lighting Candles, a crossover between Big Hero 6 and Rise of the Guardians, Tadashi comes back as a fire spirit and meets some of the Guardians, hoping to get answers as to his condition, and the following exchange occurs:
Tadashi: Look, I'm a ghost and I'm talking to the Tooth Fairy. None of my prior knowledge applies, so all I can do at this point is just sort of... go with it.
Toothiana: Oh, I think you'll do just fine with that attitude.
Tadashi: Really? That's not what the Easter Bunny said... God, I can't believe I just said that.
Films — Live-Action
- In Shaun of the Dead, a reporter reminisces on the advice he gave earlier in the film on how to handle the unfolding Zombie Apocalypse note :
"It's just not something you ever expect to have to say on air: 'Removing the Head or Destroying the Brain'."
- In Teen Beach Movie, the lead characters utter this exchange:
Brady: I'm looking to see if Les Camembert is building his diabolical weather machine!Mac: How often do you hear that sentence?Brady: Remember, I told you about the maniacal real estate developer?Mac: Or that one!
- When Inigo first meets Wesley in The Princess Bride (before he relates his past, where he explains he has an excellent reason for asking this):
Inigo: I do not mean to pry... but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?Wesley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
- The Monuments Men: When the Monuments Men learn that the Germans are going to destroy the looted artwork in the event of Hitler's death, they realize the urgency of their mission while Jean-Claude remarks that Hitler better not die. He acknowledges that he didn't think he'd ever hear himself utter that sentence.
- White House Down has this exchange.
- In the movie Get Smart Again!, after a conversation with Max over his Shoe Phone is disconnected, the government official he was talking to orders "Dial his other shoe! (Beat) I can't believe I just said that.'' The phone number for Max's other shoe turned out to be unlisted.
- In the film Iron Sky, when Vivian Wagner has to tell the president who is invading America, she sounds like she can barely believe it herself.
Vivian: They're Nazi's...from the moon...
- Charlie Brooker, in his "Screen Burn" column: "Downright heartwarming. That's a phrase I don't use very often. I don't have a heart." Also comes up after a description of something absurdly weird on TV "... which is a sentence I never thought I'd write."
- Played with in The Dresden Files. During White Night, Dresden is explaining how he managed to get Thomas into the Deeps on Raith Manor. Paraphrased:
Harry: I knew Thomas could find his way there, because he was almost killed there by a cult of porn-star sorceresses.
Molly: Hold up. I could have sworn that you just said "cult of porn-star sorceresses" just now.
Harry: I did.
Molly: Oh. (beat) Continue.
- The Power of Babel has the statement, which Makes Sense In Context, "Languages are chock-full of Charlie Brown heads", and lampshades it with a footnote: "Never again will that sequence of words be used in the English language."
- All books explaining linguistics to a general audience have a version of this: a sentence that makes sense grammatically but describes bizarre or inconceivable idea (e.g. 'the treacherous, liquid windowpane swam gleefully to the edges of the seas on Mars'). The purpose is to demonstrate that grammar makes language capable of infinite expression despite having at any given time a finite vocabulary.
- One of the Top 10 Lists in David Letterman's first book of them has rarely used adjectives, including "owl-flavored" and "Hitleriffic."
- In "The Lies of Locke Lamora", Calo says, "Rejoice! The Sanza brothers are returned!", and Jean uses this as an insult, wondering "if that particular combination of words has ever been uttered by anyone, before now."
- The Stephen King memoir/writing guide On Writing notes that any noun and any verb, put together, make a legitimate sentence. This includes even the strangest ones, his example being "Plums deify" (which becomes a Running Gag).
- Christopher Moore's Fluke, or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings contains this gem:
"Shoes off inside the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus." Two things that, if asked about an hour earlier, Nate might have said with conviction he'd never hear in a lifetime of conversation.
- In the first Troy Rising book, "They can take our maple syrup when they pry it from our cold, dead hands." It Makes Sense in Context.
- In Making Money, Moist von Lipwig tries to prevent Lord Vetinari from being publicly humiliated by a clown gone mad, and does a mental double-take on hearing himself use the phrase "Look out! He's got a daisy!"
- In one of the Animorphs books, the group travels back in time to various eras, one of which is the night George Washington crossed the Delaware River. They immediately come to the (correct) conclusion that the time-traveler they're following is going to try to assassinate the Father of the United States.
Jake: <Rachel? Find Washington. He must be the target. Stay on him. Whatever you do: Protect George Washington.>
Marco: There's three words you never thought you'd say.
- In Foxglove Summer by Ben Aaronovitch, Dominic, a village policeman who's just discovered the reality of the supernatural, comments that he can't believe he's saying things like, "Do we actually have an operational plan for dealing with the unicorns?"
- Mystery Science Theater 3000, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians:
Voldar: No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians!
Joel: Do you realize what you just said?
Susan: But I want you to remember, I intend this breast satirically!
Patrick: Now there's a sentence that can't come up too often.
Steve: I don't bite the heads off live fetusus!Susan: Words never before uttered at a pregnancy seminar.
- In another episode, following an offscreen incident at a pregnancy seminar where Steve compared a fetus to a jelly baby, which he then ate.
Monica: Okay, Ben, why don't you come open some more presents? And Santa, the armadillo and I will have a little talk in the kitchen. There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
- "The One with the Holiday Armadillo"
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis so we can put it on the bunny... That was a weird sentence.
- "The One with the Cake"
- Have I Got News for You:
Paul Merton: You come along here with your bowl of fruit and you think you're Isaac Newton!... And how many times has that sentence been uttered in anger?
- From the iCarly episode "iGive Away a Car":
Freddie: Well, you better throw that cupcake hard and hope it's sticky.
Carly: That's not something you hear every day.
Stephen Fry: Speaking as a health and safety officer, why would I stick my finger up your bottom if you couldn't name seven bald men apart from Yul Brynner? That is one of the oddest questions I've ever asked in my life.
- In the "Health and Safety" episode (The answer, in case you're wondering, is to cure hiccups.):
Stephen Fry: The language of the Flowerpot Men is actually called Oddle-poddle. "Flobbadob" means "flowerpot" in Oddle-poddle. I cannot believe I just said that.
- One correction ends up being like this.
- In an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, the unit is investigating a case where a man was attacked and had his genitals cut off and stolen. Munch makes a remark about a "penis-ectomy" and follows that up immediately with "a term I don't get to use every day."
- In Top Gear:
Clarkson: I've shoved my anarchy flag through my water lilo!
Hammond: Nobody's ever said that before.
Hammond: You've just pulled the wobbly head off the former president of Nissan USA!
Clarkson: Nobody's ever said that before.
Hammond: No, I don't suppose they have.
Clarkson: Look. Do you want to go out there with a hippopotamus or do you want to stay in here with a horse's head?
Hammond: That's not a question that's ever been asked.
- From Would I Lie to You?:
Marcus Brigstocke: I'd quite like to see some of MC Hammer's curlies in a Regals packet.
Lee Mack: No one has ever said that before in the history of the world.
- David Mitchell once asked Kate Humble "Where do you go in London to distribute your clippings?". When Lee Mack called him on this, he admitted it was not something he had ever asked before, but it was germane to the topic.
- A Bit of Fry and Laurie:
Stephen Fry: "... Our language, tiger, our language, hundreds of thousands of available words, frillions of possible legitimate new ideas, so that I can say this sentence and be confident it has never been uttered before in the history of human communication: Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers."
- In the Doctor Who episode "The Rebel Flesh":
- From Wings, after the gang has learned that Cloudcuckoolander Lowell's family possesses a huge family trust which all Mathers get a huge payout from upon turning 31 1/2 years old:
Antonio: God, if only I'd been born a Mather!
Joe: Now there's something you don't hear every day.
- In an episode of Murphy Brown, the FYI crew is forced to work in a cheesy dating show. At one point, Murphy complains about having to say the word "Smooch-o-meter" which "is third in the list of things I would never say, right after 'How much for that Neil Diamond CD?' and 'I, Murphy, take you, Newt.'"
- Stargate SG-1, "Moebius":
General Hammond: Now, this mission is recon only. You are being allowed the use of this ship because of the obvious tactical advantages it provides. Under no circumstances is it to be used to travel through time. [Beat] Never in my life did I imagine giving that order.
- From the Monk episode "Mr. Monk and the Three Pies":
Stottlemeyer: (to the suspect) Sir, do we have permission to search your pie?Suspect: What?Stottlemeyer: Please don't make me say that again.
- From an episode of Spicks And Specks:
Alan: Can I just say something that I thought I'd never get to say in my life? So, you're about to have sex with Tom Jones, and then what happened?
- How I Met Your Mother, regarding metaphorical "mermaids" (unattractive women who spontaneously seem extremely attractive thanks to a dearth of sex and their proximity in the workplace or social circle, as with sailors seeing mermaids on long voyages) and "manatees" (what the literal mermaids actually are, and the metaphorical mermaids are otherwise considered to be):
Marshall: Once a mermaid gets pregnant, she becomes a manatee again. [beat] Never thought I'd say that sentence.
- Mock the Week built a whole round out of this trope with "Scenes we'd like to see", or "bad things/missing lines/things you wouldn't find a X". Where they take turns on coming up with odd phrases never before spoken at places/events. It's easily the funniest part of the show.
- This gem from MythBusters:
Kari: Now, go on — go back to whatever you're doing — I have an incredibly busy afternoon of stuffing dead birds into sexy lingerie ahead of me.The Narrator: Now there's a sentence you don't hear very often...
- In another episode, the narrator remarks on Jamie and Adam's "sausage-based evidence"* and follows it up by saying "clearly, a sentence never before used".
- Given the unique nature of the people and situations that Mike Rowe often encounters on Dirty Jobs, improbable sentences occur fairly regularly, and Mike never hesitates to point them out. During the "Exotic Nanny" episode, he tells his current host that he tries to make sure that every episode includes at least one sentence "never before uttered in the history of human time." (In this particular case it involved kangaroo milk and whack-a-mole.)
- From The Nanny.
Maxwell: C.C.! I will not pass off Duraflame residue as the mother of my children!
- On occasion, Sam and Dean of Supernatural have to say things that baffle even them.
- Everybody Loves Raymond
Frank: I'm sorry the check got stuck to the chubby hubby.Marie: Oh, Frank. You've never said that to me before.Robert: No one's ever said that before.
- Pretty Little Liars has Hanna and Spencer discussing whether a mask-maker will notice that they've taken one of his masks:
Hanna: Please, that guy has so many heads, he'll never notice just one is missing.
Spencer: I may have to write that sentence down.
- Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:
- The sentence, "We did it perfectly at the end of the Vietnam War", regarding resettling refugees who helped the US during the way, which he comments, "There is a sentence you don’t often get to say out loud".
- "Scorpions, what is wrong with you? Stop hiding in bananas in Pittsburg area Walmarts, get your shit together, and fight terrorism like snakes and bees! What a sentence!"
- "The protest worked," a sentence he immediately compares to "Great one-man show," "Guy Fieri, that was delicious," or "I met my wife at Dave & Buster's."
- Mr. Young: "Here's a sentence I never thought I'd say: that clown is HOT!"
- In the album recording out-takes for Emilie Autumn's Opheliac, after singing a couple of lines of "The Art of Suicide" she remarks on how unusual it is for the word "ankles" to be used in a song, and challenges the listener to come up with other examples of its use.
- A Pitchfork review of a Guided By Voices album noted that many of the band's song titles, such as "Tractor Rape Chain" string together words that nobody had ever said or written in that order before.
- Discussed in the song "Bobby Fischer" by Lazy Susan: "Reykjavik, nobody ever says Reykjavik in a song".
- Back in the late '90s when Al Snow first came to the WWF, he was forced in storyline to defeat Too Much (Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor) in a tag team match. Unfortunately for Al, there was only one viable option for a tag team partner: Head, the mannequin head with the word "HELPME" written backwards on its forehead that he always carried around. Now, in an attempt to pull off a two-fer, this troper will introduce the Rare Sentence in question with a Rare Sentence of his own: Toward the end of the match, Al Snow made the hot tag to the mannequin head with the word "HELPME" written backwards on its forehead that was sitting on top of the ring post.
Jim Ross: And now, Head is the legal man. (Beat) (*dejectedly*) What the hell am I saying?
- After Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter took one of Adam Rose's Rosebuds (who was wearing a lemon costume) hostage to force a confrontation between him and Swagger, Rose angrily said 'Nobody touches my lemon!' The commentators were extremely bemused that somebody had actually just said that.
- Subverted in John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, when he describes encountering thumb-sellers who claim they get their thumbs from a combined bacon slicer and distillery.
"The owner of that thumb was no alcoholic bacon slicer!" It was a sentence I'd uttered a thousand times before, but rarely with such meaning.
- From the quest description of the World of Warcraft quest "A Wolf in Bear's Clothing":
"These Worgen take us for fools! One would think that only an idiot would mistake one of their druids in bear form as a real bear. Unfortunately, there are many idiots here at the Forsaken Front. We've already lost a few battalions to organized worgen bear attacks. Yes, it's even more idiotic than it sounds."
- Rhythm Heaven Fever's description of the "Tap Trial" minigame:
Think you've got what it takes to tap-dance with the monkeys? (Has anyone ever written that sentence before?)
- Borderlands 2 gives us this gem when trying to break into the bank vault of the Sheriff of Lynchwood. He promises that the ingredients mentioned will have a situation that Makes Sense In Context, though it doesn't seem that way at the point stated:
Brick: "Now that you've got the laxative, it's time to find some explosives. That may be my favorite sentence I've ever said."
- From Bloodbowl: Chaos Edition, Jim Johnson utterly freaks out when he sees the Daemons of Khorne take to the field so an almost equally nervous Bob Bifford tries to reassure him by saying "Now, now don't worry. They're not here to harm us... they're just here to play Bloodbowl, though I have to admit I never thought I would ever be saying that!"
- Hugh Bliss' reveal at the end of Sam & Max Save The World.
Hugh Bliss: Hi! I'm Hugh Bliss! And I'm a sentient colony of spacefaring bacteria.Sam: ...Was not a phrase I was expecting to hear today.
- In Kingdom of Loathing, the description for the effect "Full Bottle in Front of Me" (obtained from an adventure in a zone based on Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) reads "Your magical ability is amplified because you're visualizing a mysterious bottle from the collection of an extinct alcoholic bird. I defy you to use that sentence on your way home from work today."
- Edmund McMillen reacted to the many odd things that could be said during a playthrough of The Binding of Isaac by changing the description of the Cancer trinket (a popular power-up in the game) to "Yay, cancer!" in the Updated Re-release.
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney features an example of this in the third case. When talking to Gumshoe about the murder in court he says, "The basic outline is that the Steel Samurai murdered the Evil Magistrate using the samurai spear." to which Phoenix replies, "That's something I never thought I would hear uttered in a court..."
- The Order of the Stick:
- First, we have this:
Wight #1: Did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple?
Wight #2: I think he did. Also, I think no one has ever asked that exact question in the history of civilization, so Bonus Points there.
- Later, Roy has an example:
Roy: I don't think Belkar is lying — which, let's be clear, is not a sentence I ever thought I'd say...
- First, we have this:
- Dinosaur Comics
T-Rex: I've allowed my love of gravy to distract from my prescriptivist linguistic crusade!
God: THAT'S THE FIRST TIME ANYONE HAS EVER SAID THAT
T-Rex: Seriously? Does that mean I get into heaven FOR FREE??
God: IT HELPS
T-Rex: My final wish is for all life to have developed either in or about my earthly remains.
- Subverted in another one:
Utahraptor: Hah! Is that the first time that sentence has ever been said?
T-Rex: Utahraptor, please! That sentence is BASICALLY my daily affirmation.
- The writers of Darths & Droids were pleased with using the phrase "Jar Jar, you're a genius", which got zero hits on Google before the strip went online.
- Irregular Webcomic!
- The comic joked about this in a rant that included the phrase, "Because I only have one radiation suit."
- Another one: "I bet nobody else in the history of the world has ever had cause to utter the word sequence, 'accidentally had their vital organs removed. Again.'"
- A comic of Funny Farm featured Ront describing the steps required to reach the town of Bucket, which involved going through the Phukket river and ends up summarizing it as "Going around the Phukket until they climax in Bucket." and, as his brother cracks up, remarks that he can't believe that sentence just came out of his mouth.
- xkcd has done this a few times, with Google searches rather than spoken sentences (since there's no way to verify the latter).
- Before this comic went online, there were no hits for "strip Poohsticks", "strip podracing", "strip iterated prisoner's dilemma", "strip chess by mail", or "strip Conway's Game of Life".
- Similarly, as this comic's Alt Text points out, before it went up there were no hits for "I'm glad I saw Epic Movie."
- See also under Web Original, when he checked a number of other rare phrases (this was a blog entry, not a comic).
- Crossed with Sophisticated as Hell: "Yes, the cabernet is piquant as shit this year."
- From El Goonish Shive
Sarah: Part of me just wants to "get a room" with her. But that's just crazy! I don't want to lose my virginity as a guy, and I sure as heck don't want to risk getting Elliot pregnant! Which, by the way, is a sentence I never thought I'd say.
- Following an edit made to this strip of The Non-Adventures of Wonderella, the author wrote:
Due to overwhelming reader response, I have added breasts to the space dinosaur cowboy. This was not a statement I was expecting to make today (or ever), but your logic is irrefutable and I am not above admitting my own mistakes.
a line i seriously just wrote in reality: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."
Jade: i never wanted to see my grandpa in a sexy pair of underpants!!!
- In act 6, during his altercation with Karkat, Dave himself says "i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it"
- Homestuck is probably the only series on the planet that can make a sentence like the following actually make sense in context.
Blogger: Oh how I love you, you evil space goat baby with your little bow tie..
- The fandom also provides many examples, which sound ridiculous to anyone not familiar with the comic.
- Looking for Group:
- Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures :
Dan: My wings just tried to make me coffee!
- Mentioned by the artist in a strip:
Comic comment: This is probably the first time that line has been used... ever.
- An earlier strip notes that it is "The first and last time Dan will probably say Dude."
- Narbonic: "I hope you enjoy the fish-ships."
- Also: "Dr. Narbon - I'm so glad to see you!" is not something Dave ever thought he'd say.
- According to this early Skin Horse strip "Three cheers for the government!" is one.
- Prequel's "About" page ends with the author's note "Thanks, and I hope you enjoy reading my story about an alcoholic cat who hears internet voices. That is a sentence I never thought I would type."
- In No Scrying, courtesy of an immortal devil who definitely knows what he's talking about:
Prince Iskardias: Guardsman Lucian, I have lived for aeons without cause to say this combination of words. Why is a werewolf leading a paladin to a mermaid in your home?
- Comes up from time to time on That Guy with the Glasses:
Critic: (about the "Pink Elephants" sequence from Dumbo) It starts with Dumbo getting drunk. I just realized how strange that sounds.
- That Dude in the Suede once described The Girl Who Leapt Through Time as "Like Groundhog Day if Bill Murray was a teenage girl." Apparently it's #145 on the list of things he never thought he would say.
- The Spoony Experiment: Spoony when he gets frustrated with Squall being The Stoic during the balcony scene with Quistis.
"I don't often say this, but I have so much better moves than this guy!"
- Atop the Fourth Wall:
Linkara: I just said "heroic raisin". My dignity will never be the same.
ChaosD1: ALAN GREENSPAN DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!! ...That's a new one.
- And ChaosD1's cameo in the Marville #1 review:
- Allison Pregler came across one in Mindwarp.
Villain: I never thought I could deflower my daughter, but I can.
Allison: That's not a line you hear every day.
- Oancitizen reviews Art films. These come with the territory, although this one he had to point out.
Oancitizen: Then an OB/GYN unicycles into the room and — I just said that sentence out loud, didn't I?
- In the commentary of his A Serbian Film review, he also calls this on "They raped a fictional baby!" (and adds how his neighbors reacted to him shouting said line in the middle of the night...)
- During his review of Mister Lonely, which is set in a commune populated by celebrity impersonators, Kyle describes what's going on in the plot: "There's a love triangle developing between Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Charlie Chaplin... The sentences this film is making me say."
- From the review of Goodbye Twentieth Century: "Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Let that sentence sink in. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa in the face. Nazi Harry Dumbledore just punched Santa..."
- In the Allison Pregler and The Cinema Snob crossover, The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes:
Snob: I never thought I'd say this, but the climax of the movie involves Sherlock Holmes in a hot air balloon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace! I can't even make a joke about that!
- In the Snob's review of Elves, we get this:
Protagonist: I want to know the connection between the Elves and the Nazis!Snob: ...are you aware of the sentence that just came out of your mouth?!
- The Nostalgia Critic had this from his Top Ten Nostalgic MindScrews:
Critic: So Ernest P. Worrel drives Santa Claus around in his cab... boy, that's something I didn't think I'd say today.
- And appears again in Ernest Saves Christmas.
- Nash and his cohost on live Radio Dead Air version of What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, Tara, have to use these from time to time. In context. Based on real life events. The following was in response to putting a... novelty item in your bosses coffee after a man was accused of using it on women.
Tara: And you will know, he is deep throating an invisible cock. note
Headline: Woman dies from sex with dog.
- Nash came across one in the crime episode of What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, Nash said the following. There's a moment like this Once every other episode often Lampshaded by "I can't believe I had to say that!"
Nash: You can debate the right or wrong of the police seizing his penis, and I never thought I would have to say those words.
- Nash came across one in the crime episode of What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?, Nash said the following. There's a moment like this Once every other episode often Lampshaded by "I can't believe I had to say that!"
- This Let's Play of Man Hunter (From Yahtzee, creator of Zero Punctuation has a part in which they discuss and lampshade this effect ("ORBS! ORBS! ORBS!").
- The Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the Beetlejuice game has the player need to move a cloud, resulting in the Nerd complaining of the cryptic way of making it move: "to get a cloud to move, I had to get a skeleton to shoot a fireball at a beehive".
- The Agony Booth
Albert: Yeah, just take a second and stare at that line for a while. It's a beauty. Lines that insane only come along once every so often.
- From the recap of Zardoz: "Then we cut to a naked May explaining Marxist philosophy while mathematical formulae are projected on her breasts. And you know, sometimes you type a sentence that makes you stop and ask yourself, did I really just type that?"
- A stand-out line in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: "Desirée! You could have gotten mustard all over his brain!"
Then it's back and forth between the anal dildo rape (boy, who ever thought I'd type that phrase in a movie recap?)...Then we cut to another old film where an old guy and a woman are cheering. Old Guy exclaims, "It's the first time in my whole life I've ever really enjoyed opera!" And this is the first time in my whole life I've ever had to type the phrase "anal dildo rape" four times, so I suppose we're even.
- In Myra Beckinridge, but more related to how screwed the content of that movie is.
- Encyclopedia Obscura review of the terrible movie Robo Vampire:
I would just like to point out that you just read about a ghost and a gorilla vampire trying to have sex when they suddenly are interrupted by a robot out to get a drug lord. You will never read that again in any other context, so cherish this moment before it's gone.
- From a review of Trio the Punch - Never Forget Me: "Colonel Sanders also has midget power. I hope to the gaming powers that be that this is the first time in the history of life that anyone has typed 'Colonel Sanders also has midget power'."
- The xkcd blog had an entry devoted to phrases that turned up no hits on Google ("ate a violin," "driver-side bidet") as well as phrases Randall had hoped would turn up no hits but actually did ("full-body glissando," "passenger-side bidet").
- From QDB:
my cock is as big as snow leopard's :P
(i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks now that i said that)
I bet you're the first ever person to say "i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks"
- This Let's Player spends an update going over the magic in Ultima VII. When he gets to Cause Fear, he has this to say:
Inferior to diapers. I never thought I'd type that, but there you go.
- Ken Tremendous, guestblogging on Deadspin, does this in the middle of a rant about how sportswriters overvalue David Eckstein:
You should hear Clint Barmes play "April Come She Will" on the acoustic second-base-area. It'll bring a tear to your eye. (That might be the weirdest sentence I've ever written. Fuck it. I'm leaving it in. It's 12:25 a.m.)
- In his playthrough of Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, he takes time off in chapter 58 to recount how he mentioned his use of the phrase "It's just not hamster stupid" to a friend.
- Much later, as part of Retsupurae, he once stated that "ProtonJon was tricked into doing a Super Mario World ROM hack LP," and then noted that he had trouble believing he actually said such.
- This poster on the Dwarf Fortress forums is trying to save dwarves from bug-induced spontaneous dwarven combustionnote by dropping the afflicted dwarves into a pool of water, which, as pointed out, is pretty much the only time you'll hear a DF player use the phrase "plummeted to their salvation".
After all, you figure that surely the female must be a huge hulking example of the species to even be able to fit a sperm longer than the freaking male of the species inside of... oh we can't even finish this sentence it's just too weird.This is another film written and directed by Jackie himself. Maybe you can blame the following two sentences on the chunks of his brain that fell out during his Project A skull injury, but here goes: In Who Am I? Jackie Chan plays a character named both "Jackie Chan" and "Who Am I?" He loses his memory after special forces attack a meteor, and he joins an African tribe and a rally car race before stopping an international space weapon smuggling operation staffed entirely by kickboxers. So crumple up that screenplay you're working on, awesome 8-year-olds. Jackie Chan already made it.
- In another article, "Is it a law that all urine games must have a pee pun in their title? Are we the first people to ever type those words?"
- 5 Hated Groups That are Going Out of Their Way to be Awesome, one of the comments:
- Game Informer, in an online article announcing an upcoming game, stated: "The sequel will require DeathSpank to enter the Fires of Bacon in order to bring peace back to Spanktopia. There's a sentence I never thought I would write."
- In his review of Batman: Arkham Asylum, Yahtzee starts a sentence with, "But once I'd mentally adjusted for Batman's underpants", and captions the screen, "I bet no-one's ever said this sentence before".
- From this sporking of Deserving:
"Harry wants to deny Severus a magical epidural because he doesn't want to be soft on crime. Now there's a sentence you don't type every day."
- The same sporker, concerning Hogwarts Exposed:
"So Hermione hates Hooch because she ate her nipple. That's a sentence I never thought I'd type and I hope I never have to again."
- The same sporker, concerning Hogwarts Exposed:
- Let's Plays in general often have this, especially if the game in question has something like an Audience-Alienating Premise, like The Binding of Isaac. Northernlion, well-known for having a 120+ video-long Letsplay of The Binding Of Isaac, sometimes says things like "Okay, as soon as I clear these flies, I'm going to shoot that screaming fetus." or "Suck it, Diglett!" (in reference to a type of very annoying burrowing enemy that resembles the Pokemon Diglett). He often lampshades this.
- The Comics Curmudgeon has used this a few times:
"Today’s Snuffy Smith sent me on an etymological voyage of discovery, which is a sentence that I’m pretty sure has never been written before and will never be written again.""Hereis a sequence of words that has almost certainly never been constructed before but which I nevertheless believe to be meaningful and also true: these prehistoric ants appear to be Seventh-Day Adventists."
- An article on BioShock Infinite from PC Gamer bears the headline "Bioshock Infinite’s Motorised Patriot is evil robot George Washington with a gatling gun", and begins "I didn’t think I’d find myself writing that headline when I woke up this morning."
- In a textual review of Turkish Star Wars, Spoony wrote:
The scene ends gracefully by ramming the camera into the nostril of an ugly alien who looks like Linda Hunt dunked in turquoise paint and wearing a green Bozo the Clown wig and a black pinstriped suit. I'm fairly certain I've written about thirty sentences that have never been uttered before in the entire history of the English language just describing the total lunacy being displayed on the screen. I think I'm going out of my fucking mind.
- In season 6 of Acquisitions Incorporated, Wil Wheaton ends up giving a little speech about the absurdity of the situation he has found himself in.
Wil: Dungeon Master, friends, assembled nerds. I'm forty years old. I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons since the Red Box set in 1981, 82, 83, somewhere around there in my life. It is safe to say that I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons for a minimum of 20 years, possibly longer, maybe closer to 30 years. I'm gonna say something I have never said. I have gone against the giants, I've been killed in the Tomb of Horrors, I have visited the Temple of Elemental Evil, and of course, there is not a single square in the Cave of Chaos that I have not crawled through. One time I talked to a wizard named Bargle, and I have never said the following words: I will climb up the asshole.
- Happens several times for TheStrawhatNO!:
Travis while laughing: "That's such an odd statement. 'Sweetie Pie, the next generation of pie!'"
- Twilight Princess:
- Travis (as a very playful Midna to Wolf Link): "Would you like a tickle on the booty-boot?" He later says he never said "booty-boot" before.
- Redundant says this of Epee Em's "Hey, Hitler-head!" when talking about Ashei's hair, which looks like a toothbrush mustache on her forehead.
- Travis when Fyer repairs the Sky Cannon: "Words I never thought I'd say: 'clown repair montage'".
- Bomberman Generation
- Thorn describes Constructor-X as "awesome but embarrassing". Redundant notes that more things should be described as such.
- Ni no Kuni:
- Thorn: "Certain ingredients can only be bought from Hootenanny. And I can't believe I just said that."
- Then again when he mentions the "Cawtermaster".
- When discussing the multiple tiers of Familiar food:
- Twilight Princess:
- Troy from Blogger Beware does this occasionally when reviewing a Goosebumps book. For example, in "In "Phantom of the Auditorium":
The Corn Flakes aren't soggy yet, so the Phantom must be near. I still can't believe that sentence needed to be written by me. Amazing.
- In the Cinnamon Bunzuh! review of Animorphs #39, both Adam and Ifi agree that the plot is dumb and nonsensical. "That said, 'And then the Dracon beam blew up the buffalo' is one of the best lines I have ever read."
- One person in the comment section suggests K.A. Applegate just gave that line to the ghostwriter and said to construct a story around it.
- ProtonJon's Superman 64 playthrough has a "'Never Thought I'd Say That' Count". As of Stage 6, it's up to 2.
- Katie Tiedrich once mentioned on her Twitter feed, that whilst working a robotics final she said "someone stole the nerf gun off of our Roomba".
- Owing to the character succession mechanics in Crusader Kings II, LPer Ulm notes this about him wanting to find his character's son a wife "who might help with my rule once I become him".
- TV Tropes itself has some, owing to the existence of Widget Series, things that look like they're made on drugs, things that only make sense in context, Fantasy Kitchen Sinks and other forms of weirdness in works. Even our titles can sound like rare sentences. Say Beethoven Was an Alien Spy anywhere else and you'll be seen as a wacky conspiracy theorist.
- In The Cine Masochist review of Hell Comes to Frogtown, we get this gem: "Tease triple dick-punts Toady... Wow, there are some words I'll never say again!"
- Often used by Zoey Proasheck of the Yogscast, who will say something unusual and follow it up with "That's a sentence..."
- Stuart Ashen gets these every so often. One nice, bemused one comes in The Stinger of his 2014 Easter special.
"I just noticed... its eyes are tubes. It's not a phrase I ever thought I'd say."
- JonTron has the following, while playing Takeshi's Challenge:
"Never in my life have I said "Goddamnit, I shot the wind again", and meant it."
- On the blog Polite Dissent, the author found himself wondering how his blog had become the number one search result for "Zatanna culottes", before wondering why anyone would be searching for that term at all.
- This happens from time to time on Cake Wrecks, often in the form of expressing horror at the fact that something could be described in the way it was.
- David J. Prokopetz once wrote a post on Tumblr comparing the glut of Darker and Edgier protagonists in video games to how people in the 21st century seem to give more respect to the Monster Clown trope rather than sad clowns or non ironic clowns. He later claimed he wrote the post just to have an excuse to use the phrase "clown diversity".
- Phineas and Ferb
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Vanessa, thank goodness you're here! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!
- Phineas and Ferb's crazy plans and those of Dr. Doofenshmirtz can easily lead to this:
Vanessa: How did my life get to a point where that is not a strange sentence to me?
"Nothing says 'mother's love' like a gigantic robotic platypus butt."
- In fact, the Clip Show "Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" has an entire montage devoted to odd sentences that have showed up at some point, prompted in turn by the line "Super-suit-generated egg renderings always make me a bit peckish":
"Why am I wearing a turtle on my head?"
"I wanna float around! ...like men."
"Am I sweating milk?!"
"Gotta go, Stacy. Good luck with that llama legislation!"
"Run for your lives! It's Gnome-a-geddon!"
"Stickiness is the most underrated of all the -nesses".
"I knew I should have gotten the down payment on the elephant."
"It looks a little like a rhesus monkey wearing a powdered wig."
"Oh no, you did not just tell me to hench."
"What, you think we should have more Bulgarian folk-related elements?"
"I'll be in the dairy section if you want to come yell at some cheese."
"Dad, you might want to wipe the Queen off your face."
"I too feel a certain element of kebab-ism."
"Definitely the giant floating baby head."
"I am to metaphor-cheese as metaphor-cheese is to transitive-verb crackers."
"I just discovered why cows and frogs don't date."
"Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Taffeta... make a note of that."
"I'm calling Mom... and I am not using the banana this time!"
Candace: How many times have I told you to keep Perry out of my way while I'm balancing eggs on a spoon?
- There's also this exchange from "I Was a Middle-Aged Robot", which sort of plays with the trope:
Phineas: Um... never?
Phineas: (beat) You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?
- Definitely played with in "One Good Scare Ought to Do It", even though it doesn't follow the mold. This episode is where the last example in the clip show list came from, and this was the response:
Phineas: We've got to lead that corn colossus away from those back up singers!Isabella: OMG, coolest sentence ever! Somebody write that down.
- How about this one, from "The Temple of Juatchadoon"?
Candace: I've got the fennel pedal to the rutabaga metal! And yes, I know that's a weird sentence.
- And one from "Der Kinderlumper", lampshaded:
- In the American Dad! episode "Haylias", Hayley's Trigger Phrase is explicitly mentioned as being a combination of words that no-one in the world would ever say — "I'm getting fed up with this orgasm!"
- Family Guy, in "Spies Reminiscent of Us", had a gag with a Trigger Phrase being "Boy, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet."
- From The Simpsons episode "Make Room for Lisa", Marge assures Lisa, "It's only until we have to pay off your father's desecration of a priceless artifact". Then she moans and says, "Never thought I'd ever have to say that again..."
- In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012), Splinter says that Michelangelo is wise when he tries to befriend Leatherhead, and then admits that he never expected to say that.
- Used as a Take That in an episode of Futurama:
Professor Farnsworth: I'm sure nobody's ever said this before, but I must get to Philadelphia as quickly as possible!
- Camp Lakebottom: From "Fanboy Freakout":
Gretchen: "Squirt, don't eat our fake poop. There's a sentence I never thought I'd have to say. Again."
- A variant from Archer:
Archer: That's good, because I've basically been waiting my entire life to say this... I'm commandeering this airboat!
- From Total Drama All-Stars:
- From Fairly OddParents:
Timmy: "You were right Cosmo! .... You were right?"Timmy: "Great idea Cosmo! Wow, there's three words I never thought I'd say in a row."
- Strange Hill High: From "The 101% Solution":
Becky: We can't hold off these concrete-pouring helicopters forever, she said saying something no one has ever said before.
- Gravity Falls has a few:
Stan: Sometimes, Wendy, a man has to steal an animatronic badger in order to stay in this crazy game called life.Deputy Durland: A bearded witch chasing a talking pig!Sheriff Blubs: My horoscope came true.
- Noam Chomsky's sentence "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" — the point was that it had never been written/spoken before and makes no sense, but is still grammatical and therefore comprehensible. This one has been repeated enough that it no longer counts. Linguistics books usually use weird and goofy sentences to make this same point. (These are usually known a Word Salad.)
The term Word Salad is borrowed from medicine. Patients with a receptive aphasia or some other neurological disorders are often unable to comprehend language of any kind. They can neither understand nor control the words coming out of their own mouths, and will frequently produce Word Salad, clanging (repetition of words with similar sounds), or other nonsensical speech patterns. So a patient with Wernicke's Aphasia (the most common type of receptive aphasia) is making plenty of rare sentences - and other vocalizations.
Another linguist's favorite is a garden-path sentence. Such a sentence has unusual grammar. The more "natural" interpretation as you process it causes it to seem incorrect until you figure out the correct parsing. For example, "The aged man the boat." It sounds ungrammatical until you realize aged is not an adjective modifying man, but the noun. Man is a verb, as in, "Who mans the boat?" "The aged." Garden path sentences are ugly and generally avoided. The horse raced past the barn fell. "Which horse fell?" "The one which was raced past the barn."
- "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo...": Which can be extended into... Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo. "Bison from Buffalo bullied by bison from Buffalo bully bison from Buffalo that bison from Buffalo bully." A photograph in that article is captioned "Bison engaged in a contest of dominance. This sentence supposes they have a history of such bullying with other buffalo, and they are from upstate New York." Which surely cannot have been uttered many times before.
- This Language Log post glories in the fact that our linguistic faculties allow us to instantly understand such rare sentences as these, using as its example a sentence it calls out from a real news report: "Last week a former Royal Marine who is the boyfriend of the model Kelly Brooks crashed into a bus stop while driving a van carrying a load of dead badgers."
- The Daily Telegraph's cartoonist Matt said that if he's not sure about a cartoon he can end up roaming the Telegraph office asking people things like "Does this chicken look worried about monetary union?"
- This list of unlikely phrases found in real phrasebooks. Useful if you ever need to say "Because I was out buying a pair of wooden shoes" in Vietnamese.note
Are the snakes here dangerous?
- The Somali section is bloodcurdling:
Masaska halkaan khatar miyaa?
I must operate on you.
Waa inaan ku qalaa.
We must bury her.
Waa inaan duugnaa isaga.
- Leo Rosten once decided to write an essay (reprinted in his book Passions and Prejudices) about modern poetry and computers that wrote poetry. By (he said) writing down various forms of speech on slips of paper and then pulling the slips from various envelopes, he ended up creating odd short poems that would better be described as Word Salad. The crowning poem? Swish green albino dust/Through avatars unborn/And circumcise the circumscribed circumstance:/Juno stabbed the rooster.